


Compromising Positions of The Young and Not So Elite

by rachelladeville



Series: Compromising Positions [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Bottom!Cas, Depression, Drinking, Drug Use, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Graphic Male on Male Sex, Light Bondage, M/M, Oral Sex, Prostitution, Public Sex, Rimming, Romance, Rough Sex, Spanking, Strippers, Switching, Top!Cas, adult toys, bottom!Dean, relationship, top!dean, voyerism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-16 19:06:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 224,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4636824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rachelladeville/pseuds/rachelladeville
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The events of the previous installment have changed everyone's lives; some for the better and some for the worse. What will happen to Dean, Cas and Sam as they try to move forward?</p><p>As with book one - I do not own anything of Supernatural. I'm just in love with the characters. (Dean and Cas most of all!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Body Language of Lovers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [palominopup](https://archiveofourown.org/users/palominopup/gifts).



> This is the first chapter of book two. I've gifted it to palaminopup whose wonderful stories inspired me to start writing. I have no idea if she's even aware of book one - so maybe it's weird to gift her the first chapter of the second book. But, I just didn't realize how much I'd enjoy writing until it was too late to gift her the first book. I guess I just wanted to make a gesture to her somehow as a thanks for all the hours she spends writing and to show her that it meant something to me.

****

Dean bolted out of bed, kicking at the covers he was tangled in. A shrill noise had startled him and as he thrashed he realized it was the phone. He reached to the nightstand and picked up the receiver. “Hello?”

“Dean? Son what are you doing?”

“Um… sleeping?” answered Dean groggily.

“Do you feel like you may have forgotten something?” his father’s voice was heavy and dripping with sarcasm.

Dean was confused. His mind was moving slowly and he leaned forward, squinting his eyes and rubbing at them, trying to focus. His thoughts were cloudy – as if he had just awakened after a night of heavy drinking. “What, dad? What did I forget?” he stammered.

“To pick me up,” said John Winchester firmly. “I’ve been at the airport for hours, just waiting for you. Where the hell are you?”

Dean thrust himself forward, propelling himself out of the bed and cursing himself for being so forgetful and letting his father down.

As soon as his feet hit the carpet, the illusion broke. His head began to clear and he folded in on himself a little with the weight of remembering. His father was dead.

His heart plunged to the bottom of his chest like a stone. It had been a dream. How could it have felt so real? His father’s voice had sounded _so real._

The truth was setting in now and it was a harsh one. His bones were weary with it. He stayed like that, sitting on the edge of the bed, feet on the carpet and body hunched forward under the weight of the loss.

He felt a warm hand on his back. Cas.

The hand slid around his waist, was joined by another, arms wrapping him up and a head resting near his shoulder blade. Neither man spoke. Slowly Dean relaxed into his lovers’ arms and they slid back into the bed. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to shake off the last remnants of the dream that had startled him awake.

Cas turned against him, settling in. Dean hunkered down into strong arms. He tried to force his mind to other things – it was the only way sleep would return. If he dwelled on his father, he would be sucked down into a pit of despair that was very difficult to climb back out of.

His mind chose that moment to become aware of his position in the bed. It was comfortable and familiar. When had he become the little spoon?

He could tell by his friends breathing that Cas was still awake. He was waiting to see if Dean would need him or would fall back asleep; much the same way a parent would wait crib-side to see their infant was going to sleep fully or cry more. He closed his eyes and hoped that sleep would take him. He fixed on a happy memory and let his mind wander.

He was thinking of playing spoons with Cas and bunch of young girls. His mind wandered through the memory pausing to appreciate the smile on his friends face as they laughed together. That memory transformed quickly into another. Sitting elbow to elbow with Cas at a blackjack table in Vegas and watching him grimace as he lost yet another hand… to the late and great John Winchester. _Oops. Choose another memory quick_ – he thought.

His mind flicked through several images before settling on a safe one. Cas gliding toward him with a huge dopey grin on his face – arms outstretched in his harness - with redwood trees blurring in his peripheral vision as Cas swooped in to land on the platform with him. Their zip line trip was one of the safest and happiest memories he had of Cas. He allowed his mind to carry him through the highlights of that day, lingering longest as he was watching Cas take his final ride. The sun was golden orange and heavy on the horizon as he watched his best friend take a running leap from the platform and fly towards him. The beautiful orange tinge of the late afternoon sun morphed that memory into another…

The limo was waiting outside the funeral home, sun sinking low and ready to set. It cast a hazy orange glow over the city. The last of the friends and family were moving out into the parking lot in small groups, the visitation over. Cas was walking at his elbow and his brother was opening the limo door for his mother who was leaning on Dean for support. As he deposited Mary into the limo he looked at Sam who was looking at Cas. Surely his brother was wondering why Cas was there. Dean waited for his brother to ask the reason for Cas riding with them, but Sam hadn’t said a word.

Sam had nodded to Cas and then slid into the limo beside their mother. Dean followed and as he settled into the seat Cas moved to sit next to him. No one spoke. Mary was working her hardest not to cry again. He could see it in the determined set of her jaw. Sam was looking out the window with an intense scowl on his face.

Dean let his head drop back on the seat and closed his eyes. The funeral was to be the next day. Family they’d not seen for years had come out of the woodwork to say goodbye to John. So had Johns Marine Corps buddies – men Dean hadn’t seen since he was a boy. Employees of the firm and business associates had come out in droves. There were so many hands to shake that even when keeping it brief he hadn’t gotten to speak with everyone who’d attended.

The chore of being the good boys for their father had been like a welcomed numbing agent. They’d put on their brave faces and went out into the crowd – where they do their best work. Now, with the event ended and just their small group being shuttled back to Deans family home, the silence was suddenly more than he could bear. He looked to Sam and waited. Sam eventually looked back at him but as soon as their eyes met he looked away again. His attention held steadily out the window as the sun dropped past the horizon line and took the day with it. No one said a word.

In bed with Cas, Dean realized the memories were taking over again. He exerted all his will to pull his galloping mind to a stop. He listened for Cas’ breathing. It was measured. He was still awake. Dean turned a bit in his arms and whispered, “Can you light one?”

“Sure,” he said as he rolled over and reached out to Dean’s nightstand drawer. The flick and spark of the lighter was loud and bright in the dark room. Cas passed him the joint and he took a long pull. He held it in as long as he could stand and expelled it. He took just one breath before inhaling again. And again. He took several long hits before passing it back to Cas.

Cas took just one and passed back to him. He hit a few more times as he felt comfort slide in around him like a blanket. Sleep would come now. He could feel it. He handed it back to Cas, flipped his pillow to the cool side and curled up. He felt the bed move as Cas tapped out the joint and curled back up behind Dean, wrapping and arm around his middle. Dean clasped Cas’ hand and threaded their fingers together, just as sleep took him down softly.

 

 

 

 

Sam was working hard. He’d made it successfully from the car to the door of his apartment – the earth was pitching and rolling under his feet – but he’d made it without falling. He leaned against the door jamb, closed his eyes and focused all his attention on getting his hand into his pocket and retrieving his keys. He felt them in his fist, cool and sharp, and tried to force his eyes back open so he could figure out which one would unlock his door.

From behind him he heard Meg’s soft throaty laughter and then the keys were out of his hands. Before he could protest, the door swung open and he began to stagger forward into the apartment. He moved toward his bed with no regard for even making sure the door got shut behind him.

He leaned on the wall for support as he moved slowly down the hallway, stopping briefly at the bathroom door. He was going to puke soon. Stand here for a minute until it came? Or continue to his soft bed and take a chance on not making it to the bathroom when it was time? _Choices, choices -_ he thought to himself.

He felt Meg behind him. Her tiny frame didn’t have a prayer of supporting him if he fell. But she put her hands on him anyway, trying to guide him towards his bed. Once he flopped down on it – things went black. He could hear her moving around in his room but he couldn’t summon the will or ability to actually open his eyes.

He heard a thump close to his face and his eyes sprang open for half a second – long enough to take in her face as she dropped a trash can at the side of his bed. Then all was black again.

 

 

 

 

Dean woke to an alarm going off, but it was immediately silenced by someone else and he was able to slip back into sleep before he came all the way awake.

Cas shut off his alarm and got up. On his way to the bathroom he stopped and looked back at Dean in the bed. The man was so beautiful in the early morning sunlight. He practically glowed. As always, when he slept, his face took on the countenance of a child. Innocent, sweet, soft and freckled. As he moved quietly through the room, he pulled on running clothes and shoes, brushed his teeth and grabbed his phone from the night stand, tucking it into the sport cuff on his arm and hooking up his earbuds.

He moved on silent feet down the hall, grabbing his keys and a jacket on the way out the door. He drove to the park and began stretching as he waited for Cole.

“Morning!” the man said as he locked up his car.

“Sure is,” affirmed Cas as he watched his breath puff out like smoke in the stiff morning air. “Fuckin colder than a witch’s tit out here.”

Cole put his foot up on the bench next to Cas’ and began to stretch with him. “Was a good game last night,” he quipped.

“Yeah, we almost had it,” he agreed, “Fuckin Carsten’s – I swear.”

Cole snapped his head to look at Cas. “Was he talkin’ shit again?”

“Nope. But he’s still a bastard,” laughed Cas, “and he smelled like salami. I swear he must eat it three meals a day – ‘cause he fuckin sweats that shit out game after game!”

Cole chuckled and turned began working his arms. “You think your man will come to the next one?”

“I don’t think so,” said Cas without flinching. “He had said something about it once, but he hasn’t really been himself since his dad passed. I keep waiting for him to get back to his old self,” he paused, thinking. “But it’s just not happening,” he finished.

Cole grasped his shoulder in a very ‘Dean-like’ gesture, “It’s only been a few weeks. This is gonna take a while,” he looked thoughtful, “the way it happened, just such a shock, it’ll be a while before he gets adjusted, but he’ll be back.”

Cole would know. He’d seen a lot of grief. He’d buried fellow soldiers who died in the Middle East and a friend who died in a car accident. On top of that, his father had passed a few years ago, almost as suddenly as John had gone. Cas took him at his word when the man gave him advice or encouragement.

He hit play to start his music and nodded to signal he was ready to start running. Cole leaned forward to start them at a brisk walk for the first bit before breaking into a jog and then pushed faster to set the pace for their run.  Cas let his mind wander as usual. They were no longer pushing themselves to get in shape. They just ran on the mornings when there was no game to keep fit. As they moved through the dark city at a steady pace, Cas thought of Dean.

It had been a dark day when John passed and the deep bruise of it was hanging over all of them. Dean was still tender. Sam was mostly angry. Mary was trying, but it was obvious that John had always been her strength and that without him, she was lost. She leaned way too much on her boys, and they wanted to be there for her. But the weight of her need was difficult to bear.

Sam had stayed at her house with her from that first day all the way through last Friday. Six weeks. Dean had tried to offer to stay with him or take turns but was rebuffed. He and Sam had barely spoken a word; Sam would hardly even look at Dean. He looked at Cas once in a while, though, and Cas wondered why. Was the man waiting for him to do or say something? Was he just wondering why Cas was around so much? Was he annoyed by his presence?

The funeral flashed briefly in his mind. He’d sat with his sister, mixed in with the other guests. Cas had been surprised how many people overlapped his social circle and Deans. There were a few people who had gone to school with Dean or Sam who Cas also knew through Anna. There were people who were obviously business associates of Johns who Cas recognized as part of his own circle of acquaintances and associates.

Dean and Sam had been pallbearers and had sat up front. Cas only caught sight of Dean a few times during the service. After, at the grave site, he’d tried to make himself available in case Dean needed him, but stayed in the periphery to not be obtrusive. He didn’t know if Dean would even acknowledge him and he didn’t want him to feel pressured to, especially around his family. Dean had sat with his family at the reception and Cas had sat with Anna. Although he and Dean hadn’t spoken much that day, their eyes found each other frequently and Dean had grasped his hand discretely twice that day in moments of need.

At the house, after, while family and friends chatted and ate polite finger foods on tiny plates, Dean had found reasons to move past Cas frequently. Each time, he’d brush a shoulder or clasp his elbow, just a touch, which was needed by both of them. Cas had liked John more than he’d really acknowledged consciously and it was difficult to know that he was gone and even more difficult to watch Dean try to come to grips with it.

At one point they’d been in the kitchen, and for a brief moment they were alone. Dean just dropped his head to Cas’ shoulder and Cas pulled his friend into a firm hug. They’d stayed like that for a minute and then Dean had broken the moment when footsteps neared the kitchen.

The most unexpected thing that had come up was the will. John had left his interest in the law office to the boys equally. Dean had been stunned. Apparently, although no one had ever really discussed it, Dean had always assumed that any interest in the business would pass to Mary if something were to happen to John. But it wasn’t so. John had left the boys each a trust fund and fifty percent of his business. He’d left Mary everything else.

Dean and Sam had not discussed the business and it had been weeks. Dean went back to work shortly after Johns death and it had been a waking nightmare. The company was in distress without a smooth talking shark at the helm of the ship. Neither boy was able to conjure the will to step up and captain the vessel either. At this point, without leadership, things were crumbling.

Dean went to the office when the mood struck him or when there was something scheduled he couldn’t stand to miss. Sam hadn’t been there at all. Mary went in a few times but that was more for the emotional benefit. John had taken good care of all his employees. He’d valued them. Mary had come in and spent some time just moving through the place and speaking with people. Dean said it had made a difference to a lot of people, but it didn’t do anything to turn the tide of the business, it just made the people that were missing John feel a little better.

Cas, on the other hand, was still working at Baxter/Milton. Anna was too. They’d accessed their trust funds and about ten days ago the wire of the funds had come through. Despite his intentions to resign, he stayed on. Anna had explained to him that Michael was working with the information they’d provided but was nowhere near ready to take aim at the corporation yet. She explained that it would likely be several more months before he was ready to go public and she’d give him notice when the day was near.

Not wanting to add any other stressors to their life, Cas had decided not to change jobs just yet. He got up each day and went to work, just like he always had, with the exception of the hours he kept. He left promptly at five no matter what. He hadn’t worked a Saturday since he’d started seeing Dean, and he called in sick once in a while now too.

Considering work had Cas glancing at his watch. Cole was just bringing them back around to the park trail which was usually their ‘cool down’. After they’d finished they stood in line together at The Grind where Cas grabbed something for himself and for Dean before heading back to Deans place.

When he entered the bedroom. Dean was still asleep in the same position as when he’d left. Cas deposited Deans coffee on the nightstand closest to him and then headed for the shower.

 

 

 

Dean woke to the smell of coffee. He cleared his eyes and checked the clock. He could hear the shower going and assumed that Cass was getting ready for work, although in truth, he had no idea what day it even was. Cas could be getting ready for church for all Dean knew.

He took what was obviously meant to be his coffee from the nightstand and began to sip on it. His mind wandered back to the nightmare last night. It had been different from most of the other dreams he’d had about John. While he was considering it, Cas emerged from the bathroom with a towel around his waist and a toothbrush clenched between his teeth. He moved past Dean to the closet with a nod in greeting. Dean nodded back to him but remained silent, holding his coffee and smelling it more than actually drinking it. He watched Cas lay out a suit and then head over to the dresser. As Cas was putting on a set of boxer briefs, Deans eyes roved over him.

Dean felt a little clench in his stomach as he took in the man’s form. He wanted to reach out and touch, but he simply held his coffee and watched.

Noticing his audience, Cas moved toward Dean. He was glorious with his skin glowing in the bright morning sun. As he neared the bed, Dean reached out and settled his free hand on his friend’s hip. Their eyes met and Dean felt the hum of electricity buzz softly between them. He watched Cas’ hand as it reached to take his coffee cup away and set it on the nightstand.

Dean tracked his friend’s movement carefully as the hand reached slowly toward him and the man’s thumb came to rest on his chin. They shared a soft smile before Cas leaned in and kissed him chastely on the lips.

Dean responded by circling his arms around his man and pulling him down onto the bed.

Cas was still a bit damp from the shower and his hair was wet. Dean moved his hands over his lover, closing his eyes and pressing his mouth to the man’s neck where it met strong shoulder.  Dean hadn’t said it out loud but he’d acknowledged to himself, several times over the last month, that he was glad it was Cas he was involved with right now.

Cas was strong in both body and spirit and Dean had never been so soft and raw and vulnerable. He needed the strength that Cas provided. Dean had always responded to the man’s confident ways, it was part of the attraction.

But now those strong arms were what he clung to; had they been soft feminine arms, they couldn’t have supported him. Of this he was sure.  He was also aware of how difficult he’d been for Cas over these past weeks. He doubted any woman he’d ever known would’ve had the fortitude to stick it out with him.

Maybe some of the better ones would’ve managed to get him through the initial shock of losing his father. Maybe a few would’ve managed to stay with him during the services and burial. But even the best of the women he’d known in his life, wouldn’t have been able to handle the way he’d been acting in the long weeks since those events.

He’d been a slave to his feelings since the day he lost his father. He alternated back and forth between sad, angry, frustrated, confused, insolent and introverted quickly and without warning. Cas was ever present with quiet support. He didn’t push, he didn’t force anything. He was just there, a quiet steady hand when needed.

When Dean couldn’t stand the sight of another human being – he could still tolerate Cas who knew just how to keep out of his way but not leave Dean feeling alone or abandoned or even guilty for some of the things he said and did that were… well… out of line.

Now, here was Cas again, putting aside whatever he’d been getting ready for and giving Dean exactly what he needed right now. Those strong arms. In lou of gratitude or returned affection Cas received nothing. Dean had nothing to give. He touched Cas only with need – he had nothing to offer the man anymore.

The days when love or desire or support moving equally back and forth between the men were over. Dean was dead weight, clinging to Cas like a drowning man and dragging his lover down. He knew it. He just didn’t have the strength or the will to change it.

Now, he lay in the bed with Cas who was running strong hands over him. He needed the man so much.

“Please.” He whispered into Cas’ shoulder.

Cas didn’t ask what Dean wanted. He didn’t need to. He brought their lips together and kissed him once before sliding down his body. He laid a wet track of open mouthed kisses down the center of Deans chest and abdomen, pulling a wet tongue over belly button and down into the light trail of hair that led down between his legs.

Dean exhaled softly and whispered appreciation as Cas descended on his slowly swelling cock. He dropped his head back to the pillow and let his mind go blank, feeling the press of a wet mouth on his hard dick. He laid there and let Cas move on him, pulling up and pushing down, dragging tongue across skin and moving a hand between his legs to tease at his balls.

Dean reached a hand out and rested it on the back of his lovers head, scratching fingers through his hair. Pleasure swirled in his stomach and undulated downward as Cas pulled tight lips around him and sucked hard, swirling around the head before plunging back down. Dean could feel himself pressing up into the back of Cas throat and he felt the man lock down and push back. It was hot.

Waves of tingling euphoria pressed lower in his belly and his stomach muscles twitched with the tension of a pending release. He moaned out Cas’ name and rocked his hips upward, clenching. He could feel it coming and reached his other hand down to cup against Cas’ jaw, both hands pulling his lovers mouth down hard and locking the position as he poured down his throat, gasping breaths as each pulse passed from him to Cas.

Once he’d emptied himself, he relaxed back onto the mattress. He breathed in and out a few times. Cas was limp across his legs and his head was resting on Deans thigh, the man was breathing heavily. As Dean came back down, he found himself rationalizing why he didn’t need to reciprocate. On a logical level Dean knew he needed to reciprocate, it was only polite. But even as he considered it, he felt no desire. His body was sated and he knew if he just stayed still, he could fall back asleep for a few more hours of blissful oblivion. He felt Cas stir but didn’t open his eyes.

When the bed moved under Cas as he got up, Dean rolled onto his side with his back to his man. It wasn’t intentional, it was just the position that felt comfortable as he slipped off to sleep.

 

 

 

Cas stood for a moment, watching Dean, and wiped away the single tear that had rolled down his cheek. His stiff member had fallen slack and the rejection stung. It had been so long since Dean had really wanted him. He felt like a hooker, summoned for services provided and left alone to find his way out.

He knew this wasn’t how Dean meant for him to feel. He knew Dean was simply in far too much pain to care how Cas felt. That didn’t take the sting out of the coldness of his lover’s actions. He finished getting dressed, neither of them having laid a hand on his dick at all. He took his wallet and phone as he left the bedroom, grabbing his trench coat and keys on his way out to the car.

The bitter cold was a sharp reminder of how far from the blissful and carefree days of summer they’d come. It marked the passage of time. As he drove to work he listened to quiet music and reflected on the change of seasons. Halloween was coming up next week, there were decorations hanging around the office and in every store front he passed.

 

 

Sam woke up with a blinding headache. He took a few minutes to muster the energy to roll sideways and put feet on the floor. He needed to get to the bathroom for aspirin. As soon as he was upright, he surged forward, his entire body heaving, and puked into the can that Meg had left next to his bed. He wretched for several minutes emptying his stomach before falling back on the bed, exhausted. Aspirin would have to wait a few minutes – he was not capable of walking right now.

As Sam laid on his bed, sweaty with a pounding head, he tried to remember last night. Only little bits and flashes were coming to him. He knew he’d called Meg. He knew he’d sat across from her in a red vinyl booth and droned on for way to long about all his problems. He knew he’d fallen at least once while he was at the bar with her. He remembered mouthing off to a guy in the bathroom. That was his last semi-coherent memory. The rest were just little flashes of color and sound, set on a backdrop of general awareness. He was aware that he’d been lousy company. He was aware that he may have said things he wouldn’t normally have said to Meg. He was aware that he’d likely embarrassed himself – though he didn’t have a clue to what extent. He wondered idly where his phone was. He felt down to his pants pockets – ugh. Was that piss? Had he pissed himself?

Sam summoned the will to lift his throbbing head from the mattress and look down at himself. Sure enough. _Hope I did that after Meg left_ – he thought.

Sam reminded himself that he wouldn’t start feeling better until he’d gotten some pills and water into his system. He forced himself to get up and stagger to the bathroom. Once in there – he dropped his wet pants to the floor and stepped out of them before taking a leak. He turned to the sink and poured himself a glass of cool tap water and took down a double dose of aspirin with it before shuffling back to the bed, where he promptly passed out again.

 

 

 

Dean woke slowly, awareness settling in on him in layers. First the coolness of the room and quietness around him. As he opened his eyes he noticed that the singing birds and bright sunshine of the morning had dulled to a muted grey sky and the room was drenched in shadows. He couldn’t tell what time of day it was. He reached for his phone. Now he could see that it was Friday and it was 2pm. His mind considered going to the office for about a half second before disregarding the thought all together. At this point, his only motivation for heading to the shower was his itchy head.

When he’d finished the shower he moved to the closet and pulled out a pair of comfortable jeans and a t-shirt. He was still cool so he added a flannel over top and sat down on the bed to add shoes. He didn’t even realize he was headed over to Sams until he was climbing in the car. The air was crisp and cold and he wondered how many times he was going to wish he had a jacket before he started remembering to grab one before walking out the door. His hand twitched at the stereo knob, but he let his hand drop back down, opting for silence instead. That seemed to be his choice more often than not these days.

 

 

 

Cas stopped to see Aaron, sinking into a chair and marveling at how high the man could stack papers and have them not fall over. They spoke for a few minutes, but there wasn’t much to say. His friend assured him again that if he needed anything he should call. Cas went to lunch with Anna. Her presence was a balm for his wounds, but his somber mood didn’t lift.

“How have you been?” she’d asked him when they sat down.

He looked at her with a ‘how the fuck do you think I’ve been’ face.

“I’m sorry.” she said, “Is there anything I can do?”

“No,” he said quietly, “I’ve been thinking today about that fight you and I had,” he brought his eyes up to meet hers. “Do you remember?”

“Of course,” she answered, “but what does that have to do with anything?”

“You told me that he’d break my heart. Even then, I knew you were right. This just really wasn’t how I saw it going down,” he sighed morosely.

“Cassie, this will pass.” She assured him.

“Maybe,” he said calmly. “You know the counselor told him it will probably take a year for him to start feeling normal again?”

Anna didn’t speak, but she nodded with her eyes locked on his, waiting for him to finish.

“It’s been less than two months, and I’m barely hanging on. Ten more months? I don’t know if I have it in me.”

“Not even for Dean?” she asked quietly.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about that. Where will I be in a year Anna? I won’t be here working for Dad. I will probably have left the city, maybe the state. What’s the point in laying at the bottom of this pit with him? By the time he’s ready to crawl out, I’ll be gone.” He breathed. “And,” he added, “I’m just not sure how much more I can take. He’s not the same. It’s like he’s not even in there anymore, he doesn’t look at me the same, he’s cold – like a robot, and I think,” Cas swallowed hard before he finished speaking, “I think… I think that when he does come back from this, he’ll be a whole different person. Someone I don’t even know.”

“That’s possible,” she agreed, “but it’s also possible that he’ll return to you as a better version of himself. Stronger and more centered, more committed. We can’t know the future and there’s no guarantees. But you two have been together for about a year now. And I’ve never seen you as happy with anyone as you were with him. Are you really ready to walk away from him so soon?”

“Maybe. Perhaps your pep talk is lacking luster. You should try harder.” He teased her.

She returned his smile and put her face into her menu. “When’s your next game,” she asked him without looking up.

“Tuesday at 6. It’s at the park over by the convention center, the second to last game of the season.”

“Well,” she said, “I haven’t caught a game yet, can I bring Michael?”

Cas’ face snapped up to meet her eye. That was when he saw the soft inflection of humor in her eyes. She was fucking with him. He returned her smile and said, “Sure, bring him” with a wicked grin spreading across his face he added, “I’m already thinking of clever ways for him to accidently take a ball in the face.”

She smiled at him and asked what he felt like eating and when the waiter returned they each ordered another drink with their food.

 

 

 

 

Dean knocked on the door at Sams place, and tried again when he got no answer. Sam’s car was there – why wasn’t he answering? It crossed Deans mind that his brother may be ignoring him. He waited longer, forcing himself to be keep calm. It didn’t last. After his third knock went unanswered he pushed his copy of the key into the lock and forced his way inside.

He’d expected to see Sam sitting stoically in the living room, watching TV or reading while he ignored Dean. But the apartment was empty. Dean took a few steps through the kitchenette and moved to the hall that led to the bedroom. He was only a few steps in when he slowed, two more steps and he stopped. He looked longer than he should’ve trying to figure out exactly what he was seeing. Slowly the scene before him started to make sense. The trash can from the kitchen had been dragged to Sams bedside. The smell of vomit was overwhelming in the stuffy hall. Sam was laying across the bed – he still had a shirt on and socks… that was all. Firm, tan ass cheeks stared at Dean. His reaction was to avert his eyes and focus on the floor as he tried to figure out what to do. Check for a pulse? Check for a chick? Was there someone under Sam that he just couldn’t see? Who takes their pants off but not their shirt? For some reason – Dean couldn’t find the logic in what he was seeing. In an attempt to raise his head up but not see his own brother’s bare ass he shifted and then his eyes locked on the bathroom. He took a step in. It all made sense now. There were jeans on the floor that had obviously been pissed in. There was aspirin out on the counter so Sam had been up and then gone back to bed. The toilet needed to be flushed but Dean caught himself at the last minute – not wanting to wake Sam and have his brother know that Dean had seen him in this state.

Dean decided to step closer and see if Sam’s chest was rising and falling. If he knew the man was breathing he could go. He willed himself to look over the bare ass and focus on Sam’s shoulders. He had to wait longer than he expected to – but yes eventually he was able to see the shoulders and upper back rising with his inhalations. Dean slowly backed out of the apartment. Once back on the outside of the door, he released the breath he’d been holding and jogged back to his car. 

 _There’s probably worse I could’ve seen_ – he thought as he headed back towards the expressway.

By the time Dean returned to his place, it was getting to be the dinner hour. He found himself looking forward to Cas coming home. He’d not looked forward to anything in quite a while, and it felt good. He took the elevator up and began looking through the fridge for something he could cook for Cas, propelled by the idea of doing something nice for his man.

His mind wandered back to the amazing blow job he’d gotten this morning. He’d been unable to reciprocate at the time. Hell, he’d been unable to reciprocate for a while now. But for some reason, right now, he was overcome with the notion of dropping under the table while Cas ate the dinner Dean would cook for him.

He could actually picture himself pawing at Cas’ pants and pulling a thick hard cock out. Dean’s stomach curled in anticipation. He imagined himself as a cock warmer – just holding and suckling on a heavy dick while the man cleaned is plate and kept Dean waiting just to tease. He grinned thinking about it and began searching cupboards for something – anything to put on a plate for Cas.

 

 

 

Anna pushed her plate back and declared she was full.

“Can we have desert?” asked Cas.

“You can,” she said in a snide tone, “but I can’t fit anything else into these pants.”

“Sure you can. They have your favorite,” Cas pushed her, “chocolate cake!”

She agreed to desert and asked him what his plans were for the evening.

“Well, I’m either going to go to bed early and unsatisfied or…” he said dragging it out, “… or I’m going to go to bed late and unsatisfied after I take care of my man child’s every need from the moment I get home until the moment he finally passes out.”

“You’re burnt out.” She said. “That’s what’s going on… you’re not really ready to give up on Dean. You just need a night away to have a little fun.”

“How do you propose I have a night of fun? Get a babysitter?”

“Cassie,” she scolded, “he’s not a child. He’s a grown man. You can let him take care of himself for a night. It’ll probably be good for him.”

Cas looked at her and smiled. She had a point and he knew it. “Ok,” he conceded, “let’s go out tonight, do something fun!”

She giggled and her enthusiasm bubbled over – seeping its way across the table to him and tricking a smile to his face.

“I’ll text you what time I’m picking you up.” She said. Then as the waiter returned to their table she ordered chocolate cake and Cas ordered Crème Brule. They chatted and enjoyed their treats before returning to work.

 

 

 

Sam rolled over and blinked awake. The smell of puke had him wanting to wretch again. He took a deep breath and held it while he pulled the trash can through the apartment and out onto the landing, shutting the door on the stench before sucking in a breath of (relatively) fresh air. He grabbed the air freshener out of the bathroom and fogged his room with it, chuckling as he noticed that he was bare assed with a withered elephant trunk between his legs and spraying mist around his room, fanning his nose like a ferry princess would.

He stripped completely and threw all his dirty clothes in the laundry before heading to the shower. He was still wondering what the extent of the damage was with Meg.

As he soaped up he contemplated her. It was kind of her to come over and get him last night. He knew that she was his friend underneath all the sex they had. They’d known each other for so long, having been friends long before they started fucking.

Now they’d been friends with benefits for so long that sometimes he forgot that the word friend actually still applied. She’d been patient with him last night. He remembered the look on her face when she’d dropped the trash can at his bed side. Worry. It was there beneath her smirk.

He’d seen that look on too many faces lately, though. It was starting to piss him off. Every time he looked at Cas he saw that ‘worried sick’ look on his face. It was a double punch to know that the look was aimed at Dean.

Sam had long gotten past the naïve idea that his brother and Cas were just friends. At first they’d really seemed like friends and he’d had a great time with them when they’d been out together. But it didn’t take long to start noticing something else. They seemed to look at each other a little too long and a little too often.

Then, when he’d seen Dean crumpled on the floor at the hospital, he’d noticed something about both his brother and Cas. The way Cas had run to him and the tender way he’d lifted Dean to his lap. The way that Dean had looked up at Cas – as though there was no one else in the room. He’d never seen his brother that way with anyone. It was as if they had no boundaries – almost too comfortable with each other. Sam had just been starting to really wonder what was going on between them when he’d seen it...

Dean and Cas had come for Sunday brunch. Knowing that mom hadn’t been up to the task of making brunch (or even taking a shower) they’d come to make brunch for her. As they’d eaten, Dean had made a point of saying that he felt it was important to keep doing the brunch. That, yes, it would be different without dad. But there was one person gone and three remaining, and that they shouldn’t disregard themselves as a family just because the head of the table was empty now.

In theory Sam had agreed. They’d all spent the afternoon together playing scrabble at the table and when Mary had begged off to take a nap, Dean and Cas had hugged her goodbye and started carrying things out to the car. Sam was just passing by a window when he saw Cas lean in – way to close. It caught his attention and he’d stopped to stare – riveted to the floorboards and jaw slack.

Cas had reached up and cupped Deans jaw, speaking to him softly and leaning into his space. As Sam watched them in that moment, he’d known.

Friends didn’t touch like that. Period.

Theirs was the body language of lovers. There was no questioning it. His brother and Cas were lovers. They didn’t have to kiss for him to recognize what they really were to each other.

The thought of the two men sickened him.

It wasn’t that he cared if they were gay. Sam wouldn’t have had a problem with it if his brother were gay. But Dean wasn’t gay. He never had been.  It made Sam want to yell out, _‘What the fuck?’_ Because if his brother really was gay – then how hadn’t he ever noticed? And, if his brother was gay then why was he hiding it around Sam? How long had he been hiding it from Sam? Had Dean always been gay? And if he was trying to hide it, then why wasn’t he doing a better fucking job of hiding it?

But honestly, it wasn’t his unanswered questions that were getting to him. What really burned him was that Dean had been keeping this from him. Whatever “this” was. Sam had been excluded from it.

He and Dean had always been a unit, tight. They’d always been closer than everyone else.

Cas was the first person that Sam could recall – in all his life – that had a secret with Dean that Sam wasn’t privy to. It was like acid in his mouth, and he resented them both for it. Fervently.

With this secret exposed, he began to wonder if there were others. He remembered back to the day when Dean had been acting weird at brunch. Both his parents had seemed to be in on it, not questioning Dean’s strange silences or his appearance. Something had obviously been wrong with his brother that day, but no one had acknowledged it.

Clearly his bond with his brother wasn’t as deep as he’d always thought, and he wanted to know what the fuck was going on. John was gone now, so the only person left to ask was Mary. He considered asking her about it, but didn’t think he should. She was barely hanging on right now – he couldn’t stand the thought of adding another burden to her. He decided to simply wait and watch and try to put it together on his own.

Instead of calling Mary, he called Meg.

“Hey sugar,” she purred at him when she answered. “How are we feeling this morning?”

Sam grinned and said, “I found a gerbil in my ass this morning… what did you do to me last night?”

She laughed at his sorry joke and responded, “I took you to Las Vegas. We’re married now. The gerbil was my wedding gift to you.”

“Seriously,” he said, “I know I was rotten company last night. Thanks for listening and taking care of me.”

“Aw Sammy,” she crooned to him, “you’re gonna be ok. It just takes time.”

“So they keep telling me,” he said.

“I have to get back to work, but I can stop over later if you want? Bring you some dinner?”

“I’d love that. Thanks Meg.”

“Sure. See you round seven.” She replied before hanging up. Sam felt better that there was someone here for him. With his brother proving to be less of a friend then he had previously thought – her presence in his life was reassuring.

 

 

 

Dean checked the clock. It was getting close to five. Cas normally got home at about 5:40 so he had enough time to throw together the sparse ingredients he’d found for dinner. He began buttering slices of bread and stacking them on a plate, and then moved to unwrapping slices of cheese. He put a pan on the stove with some tomato soup in it to heat up while he fried up half a dozen grilled cheese sandwiches. As they were cooking, one by one, he set the table and added candles. _Perhaps a bit much_ – he thought.

But the candles were meant to go with the five star blow job he meant to give – not necessarily the grilled cheese sandwiches.

It felt like it had been years since he put hands or mouth to Cas. In reality it had only been weeks, maybe a month or so. But before? He couldn’t last days without it. It was good to feel that part of him waking up again.

Dean wasn’t sure what had changed for him today – but there had definitely been a shift. Maybe it was seeing what a mess Sam really was when no one was looking. Maybe that had helped him accept the mess he’d been. Maybe that had made it a little easier. Dean wasn’t sure what had changed, but there was something different.

It had been hard watching Sam swoop in and be the one who took care of mom. That had always been his role in the past, simply because he was the oldest. He should’ve been taking care of mom and Sam. He was the older brother after all, Sam should be leaning on Dean. But Dean didn’t have the strength and he felt like everyone knew it too. He hadn’t even been taking care of himself.  Cas had been doing that.

As Dean was putting food on the table, he pulled a beer from the fringe and sipped it. He thought of what a dick he’d been to Cas lately. Truthfully, he was probably forgetting the worst of it in an alcohol/drug induced black out. He’d worked his way steadily through bottles of whiskey and Cas’ pills, with no regard for anyone’s feelings but his own. He’d been so sure in his relationship with Cas that he’d felt okay about being selfish, about taking and taking from the man.

For the last few days though, he’d stuck strictly to weed and put the hard stuff away. It hadn’t really been a conscious choice. Perhaps as the worst of the pain had ebbed away – he’d simply stopped needing so much numbing to cope with it.

Numbing. That had been Cas’ word. Coping had been his counselor’s word. His mind flashed back to the night they’d come home from the funeral.

Sams words to Dean had been dismissive and condescending.

That, coupled with the bone crushing exhaustion he’d been feeling had been sufficient to drive him from his family home and back to his condo. He had crawled away like an injured dog to lick his wounds. Cas had been there for him of course. And he’d made Cas regret it. Of course.

As they’d entered Deans place, he’d made straight for the whiskey. He’d drank from the bottle as he’d walked to the bedroom. He’d swigged like it was his mission to black out and even though Cas hadn’t been getting in his face, he could feel his man keeping an eye on him.

When Dean had finally set the bottle down and leaned back on the bed, it had been Cas who had gently removed his shoes and helped him out of his clothes and under the covers. With the lights off and the place quiet, Cas had crawled in next to him, but stayed to his side of the bed.

It hadn’t taken long for Dean to curl towards Cas. Once he’d reached out to Cas, the man had immediately wrapped him in strong arms. Being held wasn’t what he had in mind, but it had been just what he needed. Tears had streamed from his eyes. He didn’t hitch or sob – it wasn’t full on crying. Just a soft and continual leak of water from his eyes that he couldn’t hold back. He’d pressed himself closer to Cas and tangled their legs together.

Cas had responded with kisses and strokes and when Dean rolled on top – Cas had dropped his legs open for Dean to slide between them. That was the beginning of the end.

Cas had moaned for Dean and he’d rolled his hips in response but despite his interest in sliding into Cas – there had been nothing hard to press against the man. He’d continued to work the man over, even going so far as to pull lube from the drawer. But Dean simply didn’t harden. He had to ask himself why.

When he’d considered it for a moment, laying on Cas and breathing heavily, he realized what was wrong. This wasn’t what he wanted.

He couldn’t be certain, but he thought he knew what he wanted to do. He’d leaned back and pulled Cas on top of him. He’d cupped the man’s ass and told him thank you for being here. He’d told him he loved him. He knew Cas understood that it wasn’t said lightly. Then, he did something he’d never done before. Ever.

He’d spread his legs out and let Cas slide between them with no fear or hesitation. He’d whispered to Cas that he needed him, and then said, “Fuck me Cas.”

Cas had slid down his body and put his mouth on Deans limp dick. He licked and sucked and laved it with affection. He didn’t express any frustration when it didn’t harden for him. He simply continued to work it as if he didn’t mind ‘little dean’ not swelling at his ministrations.

He’d licked down to Deans puckered hole and tongued him, he’d worked his mouth over cock and balls and hole until Dean was wet all over and panting. Cas was panting too, he worked fingers in and teased the sweet spot up inside. Dean had been squirming on the bed and begging Cas to fuck him. But Cas wouldn’t do it.

“Please Cas, I’m ready, just fuck me,” Dean had begged him.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I can’t.” had been his answer.

Dean was stunned. “Why?” he’d asked.

“Because you don’t really want me,” Cas had told him.

“I’m begging for it Cas. How can you say I don’t want you?”

“You don’t want this. You’ve never wanted it. I’m not gonna do it. It will ruin us. You’ll hate me for it.”

“I could never hate you. Why would you even say that?”

“Because it’s true. You’re hurting right now. You’re just looking for something to take your mind off the pain. If you need to a distraction – I’ll give you whatever you want. We’ve got alcohol, coke, oxy, weed – hell I’ll bring in a hooker if you want but I will not take you. I can’t do it. I’m sorry.”

“What are you afraid will happen?”

“I’d love to be the one, Dean. To be you’re first? I’ve fantasized about you that way more than you know. But I can’t do it. Not like this. If you were ready I would know it. You’re not.”

“I’m the best person to judge when I’m ready Cas. And I’m ready.”

“Being fucked will change how you think of yourself Dean.” Said Cas. “You’ll regret it tomorrow, I know you will. And you’ll hate me for it. You’ll feel like I took something from you when you were too vulnerable to give it rationally. You will. Hate. Me.”

The tears had continued to fall and Cas had kissed his wet face, but Dean wouldn’t be consoled. He’d sat up on his pillows and reached for the bottle. He’d lit a joint and drank and smoked until he passed out. He’d not spoken another word to Cas for three days.

The smell of burning stink pulled him out of his remembering - and he turned his attention to the stove. He’d forgotten to turn the burner off when he’d finished making grilled cheese sandwiches and now the remaining butter in the pan had burnt black and the pan was smoking up the kitchen. He moved the pan to the sink and turned off the burner. He fanned away the smoke and sprayed air freshener to cover it. Dinner was on the table. Dean checked the time. 6:05. Cas would be here any second. He turned off the overhead light.

His little trip down memory lane had dampened his mood some. But when he considered getting on his knees for Cas, he still felt a swelling of desire in his stomach and he knew ‘little Dean’ wouldn’t let him down. So he sat down and waited for his man to come home.

 

 

 

Cas was just preparing to leave when he’d gotten the text from Anna. She was planning on swinging by his office to get him when she’d finished her work but wouldn’t be ready to leave until about 6. Determined not to work past 5:00, Cas had pulled up an internet game and begun to play. It was addictive and he quickly lost track of the time. Anna was knocking on his door before he knew it. She grinned at him and asked if he was ready.

“Definitely,” he’d said as he shut down his computer and got up. That was when he’d noticed Aaron and Inias were with her. He smiled and gave his friends a one-arm bro hug and thanked them for coming out.

Aaron told him not to expect any strippers tonight unless Anna got really drunk. They all had a laugh at that as they walked to the parking garage.

Anna took them first to Hooligans to grab a few drinks. Once Cas had a nice buzz going they drove him to a bowling alley. He’d looked at them like they were crazy when they parked the car but he went along with it.

The shoes were a bid risky, but once he’d gotten them tied he quickly forgot how they’d felt and smelled. He chose a bright blue ball that sat nicely in his hand and by the time he’d made his way back to their lane, there was a pitcher of beer and basket of onion rings waiting. They bowled a game, laughing at each other and swigging cold beers. As Aaron left to go get another pitcher, the lights dimmed way down and suddenly the place came alive.

All of a sudden it looked like a nightclub. There were colored lights swirling and flashing and the spinning effects of a disco ball plunged the place into chaos. Everything was glowing under black lights and a DJ began spinning tunes while people bowled and danced around while waiting for their turns.

They were half way through the second pitcher before Cas realized that he’d never remembered to text Dean that he wouldn’t be home at his regular time. Initially, he’d felt horrible. But as he was tapping out a text to Dean he realized that the man probably hadn’t even noticed his absence.

He erased the rambling message he’d initially composed and replaced it with something more simple.

‘Be late tonight. Call if you need anything’

With that he put away his phone and turned his attention to his friends. Anna ended up getting completely hammered her antics were the highlight of the night.

They had all bowled progressively worse as the evening went on and more drinks were had. In fact, that was part of the fun. They danced clumsily when good songs were played and they ribbed each other constantly for their lack of skill, taking turns losing to one another.

At one point, Cas laughed himself to tears as he watched Anna sneak up stealthily behind Inias as he swung his ball back, poised to roll it down the alley. His eyes had been facing forward as he lined up the shot and as he did… she reached out daintily and plucked the ball lightly out of his hand. It took several seconds for Inias to figure out what had happened.

She made off with the ball and the look on his face when he figured it out was priceless. It continued like that all the way to closing time. The DJ and light show were over at 2 am and once the harsh lights came on over the alley, the group realized there wasn’t anyone fit to drive home. Anna called for the car service and by the time they all changed out of their funky smelling shoes and fumbled to the door there was a limo waiting for them.

Anna made Cas promise to bring her back here tomorrow to get her car, and then they took turns standing up out of the moon roof like tourists as the limo slid through downtown. They were laughing and having so much fun that they didn’t even care they were making utter fools of themselves.

When Cas was dropped off at Deans condo, he pulled Anna into a lingering hug.

“Thank you” he breathed into her collar. “You were right. I really needed that.”

“Your welcome. I love you, Cassie. Get some sleep.”

He gave her one last squeeze before stumbling into Deans lobby. As he waited for the elevator it occurred to him to check his phone. Dean had sent him a message hours ago – just after midnight. ‘I need you’ it said.

Shit.


	2. Waking Up

 

Dean glanced at his watch. It was past seven. At 6:30 he’d given up on sitting at the table and waiting for Cas. He threw cold grilled cheese sandwiches on a plate, grabbed another beer and went to the couch. He ate a little and watched T.V. but there wasn’t anything on that was interesting enough to keep him from glancing at the clock regularly. When eight o’clock came and went – he knew that something was up.

Cas didn’t live here, and certainly didn’t owe Dean any explanations about where he was on a Friday night. Dean knew this.

But since Johns death, Cas had rarely left his side with the exception of going to work and running out to get things they needed. He’d grown accustomed to having Cas in his space and taking care of him. Now, the place didn’t feel like it was just his anymore. It felt empty without Cas here.

As he zoned in front of the television the thought entered his mind that perhaps Cas was actually pissed at him. He’d given Dean amazing head this morning and when Dean really thought about it from Cas’ point of view he realized that not only had he not reciprocated any pleasure to Cas, he hadn’t even spoken to him. He’d simply rolled over and went back to sleep.

 _Cas can’t be mad at me for that –_ thought Dean. _I’ve done that before, more than once, and he never got mad._

But even as he thought it, Dean knew he was on the right track. He just had a feeling about it.

Dean had to admit that Cas may have reached his limit on dickish behavior that he was willing to tolerate. Cas loved him, he was sure of it. But having someone’s love and affection didn’t mean that they had to just take whatever you dished out to them.

As he considered all the dick moves he’d dealt out to Cas since John passed – he knew that grieving or not… Cas deserved better. Much better.

His mind wandered deeper into remembering recent events from Cas’ point of view and he became deeply ashamed of himself. He looked at the clock again. 8:30. He had an overwhelming desire to call Cas and apologize for everything. He wanted to let his man know that something had changed today. That the fog was lifting a little and that things might even start getting better now.

Just as he reached for his phone to make the call, he got a text from Cas.

‘Be late tonight – Call if you need anything’

Wow. Only Cas could be so clear with so few words. Essentially, if that message were translated from Cas language to Dean language… it would say, “Ok you needy bastard, I’m not coming home until I feel like it tonight. I’m pissed enough not to bother telling you where I am or what I’m doing. I don’t give a shit what you’re doing either. But I still care enough about you that if you need something I will be there for you.”

There was no ‘I love you’ buried in the message. But honestly, at this point the love was implied. Because if there hadn’t been love – Cas would’ve walked out on Dean six or seven weeks ago.

Dean felt pinpricks in his eyes and tears began to spill. Damn - could he possibly cry more? Lately it felt like that’s all he was good for.

This was a little different though. All his tears up until now had been shed for himself; for his sorrow and sadness, his loss, his anger and frustration. But these tears were for Cas. He was crying for how lonely, rejected and sad Cas had likely been feeling recently. He’d given all he had to Dean and received nothing in return.

This wasn’t an epiphany for Dean. He’d known all along that he’d been shitty to Cas. This is just the first time that he really had feelings about it. This was his first empathy for anyone other than himself since his father as alive. And it was like opening a floodgate too.

With his acceptance of what he’d been putting Cas through, came also the knowledge of what he’d done to others as well. Now he realized that Mary seemed to have instinctually known to avoid Dean and share her pain with Sam. This had hurt his mother and it had hurt Sam. Both of them had been shortchanged by his selfishness.

He had to acknowledge that perhaps Sams bitchy behavior to him all this time had been justifiable in some way.

And, if John could have seen Deans behavior at work in recent weeks – he’d roll over in his grave.

Hell, if he was honest, he’d have to admit that he’d been a first rate asshole to every single person who’d spoken to him since they’d buried John. He’d performed well at the services and public appearances – that was deeply ingrained. But aside from that? He’d been a douche.

Dean got up, turned off the T.V. and moved to the bedroom, lighting a joint. Now that feelings were starting to come back to him – they were sharp. He wanted to dull them a little and settle into a fog of contentment while he contemplated what to do next.

There was nothing to be done tonight, except speak to Cas when he got back. But there were many things that needed to be done and Dean sensed that he should prioritize them so he could put an end to his sulking and begin moving forward again.

He laid on the bed considering all the thoughts that swirled in his head – slowly making order from the chaos. He decided that priority number one had to be mom. She’d lost John just like her boys had, but she was the one who had spent the most time with him. It was her bed that was empty now. Dean still had Cas. And Sam? He had someone – probably more than one. Sams bed was never empty, that was for sure.

Dean decided that in the morning, he’d go to his moms and do something for her. Saturdays were her day to bake for the peds.  He decided that he’d head to her house in the morning and help her bake the cookies or brownies or whatever and then he’d ride with her to the hospital and accompany her around the pediatrics floor as she delivered her goodies. Once that had been decided, he considered what to do about Sam. Clearly they needed to talk. Dean decided to keep it simple and start with that. He would see Sam on Sunday at brunch. He’d wait until they had a private moment and then he’d just lay it out to his brother. All of it. He’d say he was sorry for being withdrawn and selfish and ask Sam to forgive him.

Next he needed to get things under control at work. He spent a long time considering what to do about Winchester Law. There were so many issues that it was hard to choose the most important. His mind wandered to Cas and he glanced at the clock. It was near midnight.

Dean’s mind flashed to the memory of playing spoons at Pam’s house the night he’d met Cas. It was a fond memory for him. But at this moment he was keenly aware of how, even though Cas and Dean had both acknowledged something between themselves that night, Cas had no issue with letting several young girls into his lap. He’d encouraged their licks and little kisses with his flirty smile and sexy ways. Was that what was happening right now? Was Cas somewhere leaning on a bar with some bitches tongue sliding up his neck?

It was an act of sheer willpower to stop his brain from following that chain of thought. He tried not to consider where Cas was or what he was doing and focus on the matter at hand. He decided to arrange the work problems in a pyramid – with the most fundamental at the bottom and the most detailed at the top. It was an exercise he’d used before when overwhelmed. Once he could see the problem on paper, the answer was simple.

He needed to start at the top. Not with the problems themselves but with the people. All the issues – from the most basic to the most complex would be best handled by first reaching out to the people. Similar to what Mary had done when she visited there – but with an agenda. Dean was beginning to feel really good. He’d identified how to address the key issues that were sources of stress for him.

He’d start this weekend by addressing the issues with his family. Then on Monday, he’d go back to work. Not ‘back to work’ as in showing up at the office; but ‘back to work’ as in actually working.

He’d start by requesting a meeting with all of Johns higher ups. His partners. He’d address their concerns and express his and then channel the brilliant minds of Winchester Law into some kind of action.  Then, he decided, as the week went on he’d branch out into meeting with each department and its head. Hopefully by the end of the week – he’d at least have open dialog with the key players in his father’s business. Then as time went by, hopefully he’d find that between him and Sam, they could fill their father’s shoes. Or at least come close enough to preserve the man’s legacy.

Dean sat back, satisfied. He felt much more in control. He felt awake. It was amazing. In less than 24 hours – all of his senses had sprung back to life. He still wasn’t sure why – but he was glad it had happened. Now he wanted more than ever to see Cas.

This need he felt wasn’t just about giving his man a blow job anymore. He needed Cas to be here. His happiness at ‘waking up’ wasn’t going to be complete until he could share it with his best friend. He toyed with his phone for a moment – viewing Castiels message again and again. ‘Call if you need anything.’ Dean called. He waited while the phone rang several times and then went to voicemail. He ended the call and decided to send a text. What to say?

‘Call if you need anything.’ he read aloud. Then Dean tapped out his response. ‘I need you.’

 _Spoken in the language of Cas_ – he thought. Simple. Honest.

He smiled at his phone and then went to the kitchen again. The remains of his attempted dinner still lingered on the table, candles burned down, sandwiches dried out and nasty. He walked right past it all and pulled a beer from the fridge and headed to his bed. He was tired in a good way and hunkered down against stacked up pillows to read. He sipped his beer and read his book until it began to slip from his fingers as he dozed. He pushed it aside and gave in to sleep easily.

 

 

Cas moved into the elevator with trepidation, not knowing what he would find when he got upstairs. When he opened the door it was quiet. He moved through the living room where everything seemed to be in order. He went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. That’s when he saw that the table had been set.

His heart sank. There were two plates. Dean had been up, made dinner and even set a table (which they almost never bothered with) and made… grilled cheese sandwiches? He picked one up and sniffed it. Yep. Grilled cheese. He chuckled at the food; despite his guilt at having been gone so long when Dean had obviously wanted him here.

He headed for the bedroom and when he found Dean snoring, book cast aside and the lamp still on, he smiled before he could help it. He turned off the lamp and undressed as he moved around the bed.

He pulled back the covers and crawled in next to Dean. The man didn’t come fully awake, but their bodies gravitated together, either by habit or deep connection. As they met in the middle of the bed, arms and legs entwining, Cas breathed deeply and relaxed. This wasn’t his condo, but it was home.

 

 

Dean woke in the wee hours of the morning to stumble to the bathroom. On his way back to bed he recognized that Cas was home. He smiled as he curled back up with the man, putting his nose into his favorite spot at the back of Cas neck, right above the hairline. He breathed in with deep satisfaction. He was back in ‘big spoon’ position. Having spent time in both positions now – he had to admit that each had its merits. More than anything else, what mattered wasn’t who was which spoon… what really mattered was who you were laying with. And Dean just couldn’t imagine laying with anyone but Cas.

 

 

Sam woke to knocking. He looked around and realized he’d fallen asleep on the couch. He stood and moved to open the door. When he did, he watched Meg sachet through it. She had food in hand which she dropped onto the table as she went straight to the cupboard for dishes.

“What did you bring?” he asked her.

“Senior Sisig” she replied. Sams stomach leapt for joy.

“Adobo garlic rice? Cilantro cream sauce?” he questioned, nosing through the bags.

“Yes and yes,” she replied. “I thought you might still be ill, and I’d get to eat it all myself.” She goaded him. “Clearly,” she said watching him inhale and smile back at her, “I was mistaken.”

“Oh Meg, you know what to do, don’t you!”

They moaned as they ate and all but licked their plates. Senior Sisig was the best food truck in the city. They’d braved an unholy line many times to order there and had never been disappointed once.

When they were finished eating and had kicked back at the table she asked him if he was feeling any better. “I guess,” he responded, “I wish I hadn’t gotten so plastered last night. We didn’t even fuck.”

“Well, we don’t have to fuck every time we get together,” she told him.

“I always want to though.” He told her honestly. “No matter how many women I meet, I keep coming back to you. Maybe there’s a lesson in that for me.”

“Oh Sammy,” she drawled, “don’t go getting all sentimental on me now,”

“Why not?” he asked honestly. “Maybe I’m ready to take you to Vegas and get a gerbil.”

She laughed so hard that her drink shot out her nose. As she gagged and laughed he tossed napkins across the table to her, laughing right along with her. They moved to the couch and watched T.V. for a while. They chatted on commercials and before long her legs were laying across his lap and he was toying with her feet.

Soon he was massaging his thick fingers up her calves.

“Sammy,” she admonished him, “keep your hands to yourself. This isn’t that kind of night.”

“Why not?” he questioned her, “do I have something to apologize for? You know I don’t remember shit from last night. Did I do something?”

“No,” said teasing, “You did something tonight. You ate beans for supper.” She laughed, “If I felt like getting any tonight… I wouldn’t have shown up with Mexican.”

She was smirking. Sam looked her over – sprawled across his couch. The jacket of her business suit was now hanging over the chair she’d occupied at the kitchen table. Her silk camisole was draped enticingly over her ample breasts. The skirt of her three piece business suit was rucked up above her knees and he shoes were on the floor. Her long auburn hair was fanned around her. She looked like dessert. “Why are you teasing me?” he asked her honestly.

“I’m not teasing you Sammy,” she said matter of factly. “I came to bring dinner to my depressed and hung-over friend.”

“Oh,” he said, “I guess it’s not your fault that I have a thing for you dressed like that.”

She let out a little giggle at the wounded look on his face. “Who knew?” she said sardonically, “all that money wasted on lingerie – when all I had to do was come over in my work clothes.”

She sat up and moved closer to him, wrapped her arms around his neck. He looked her in the eye and said, “It doesn’t matter what you wear. I get stiff seeing you in your scrubs too. I just always keep coming back to you, don’t I?”

“Oh come on,” she laughed, “there’s no mystery to that! You’re perpetually horny and I’m perpetually easy.” She leaned in and gave him a hug. A real one. A squeeze so tight that it couldn’t possibly be confused with anything sexual. She held him as she continued, “I know this has been hard on you. I know you’re worried about the future in a whole new way now. But it will be ok. You are strong. Your family is strong. And I,” she said firmly, “will be here for you. Ok?”

“Ok” he said, dropping his heavy forehead to rest on her smaller one. “Thank you.” He said to her.

“Your welcome.” She said as she slipped on her shoes.

He walked her to the door and helped her back on with her suit coat and jacket. As she stepped out the door she gave him a smirk and then popped her hip as she swaggered away from him. He watched her intently as she left.

 

 

 

Dean’s eyes opened the next morning to an overcast sky, but it didn’t dampen his mood. He was eager to get busy with his newly prioritized list. Since he and Cas hadn’t spoken last night, he wanted to spend some time with the man before heading to his moms house today.

Even as he considered it, he was noticing that he’d thought of his family’s home as ‘mom’s house’. It was an acknowledgment that John was gone. His counselor would call that progress. Cas probably would too.

Cas had told Dean once that he thought the dreams would stop once his brain had accepted the new reality of John being dead. Cas had gone on to explain that each day, Dean woke up and had to realize again that John was gone. The dreams were his body’s way of adjusting to John being gone. So, theorized Cas, when Dean got to a point where he didn’t have to **remember** that John had died upon waking, the dreams would have served their purpose and would stop.

Cas had said that weeks ago after reading some book. Now, Dean had to assume that his man had been correct. There had been no dreams last night. He’d woken up remembering that John was gone and using vocabulary appropriate to the situation. He hadn’t cried. Progress.

He stretched in the bed to full extension and realized that he had a morning wood situation to take care of when his thick member bumped Cas who was still sleeping next to him.

The bump must’ve pulled Cas from sleep because he too began to stretch. As he did, he pushed his perfect ass back toward Dean. When his cheek grazed the tip of Deans dick, he pressed into it wantonly. And both men let out a filthy moan.

Dean inhaled deeply as they pushed into each other in a slow grind. “Oh, Cas,” Dean whispered into his ear as he wrapped an arm around his waist to hold them together.

“Dean”

Upon hearing his name, Dean skimmed his hands down the sides of Castiels perfect body. He never said ‘angel’ out loud to Cas anymore. But he thought of it often – the man’s body was perfect. With his most teasing touch Dean’s fingers wandered over thigh and hip, swooping across flat stomach and loving the way it twitched in anticipation.

Borrowing a move from his man, he slid under the covers and moved on his lover. He drug his tongue down Cas’ spine and into his crack and felt the man tense as he pressed lower still. He exhaled as he moved his mouth over Cas’ puckered entrance and then slid his tongue as far as it would go.

Cas was laying on his side, facing away from Dean. So he slid his hand in between legs and when he reached the knees, he gripped the top leg and lifted it. Now he had access to Cas – all the way. He buried his face between the man’s legs, breathed in his sharp scent and pressed his tongue to balls. He sucked them in, one at a time and rolled them in his mouth humming his approval.

It was hot under the covers and when he tired of holding up Cas’ top leg, he shoved it over forcefully so that the man was sprawled on his stomach. Dean wasted no time adjusting the blankets so that he could crawl between legs and bury his face again. Cas was starting to squirm beneath him and rock his hips. Dean licked up the crack again and sank his teeth into the fleshy globe of his lover’s ass.

Cas yelled out into the quiet room. Dean moved to his knees and grabbed that ass with two hands, spreading cheeks apart in the hot dark under blankets. He leaned forward and plunged in his tongue, working it in and out and around. He sucked at the tight flesh around the hole and worked in a finger. Then he fucked his tongue in with it. Cas was rolling and thrashing against the sheets. Dean didn’t even want to stop and get lube he was so into what he was doing.

“Cas” said Dean loudly, “get the lube” but he wasn’t sure the man had heard him from under the blankets. “Cas!” he tried louder between licks.

Something thumped his head from on top of the covers. He pressed his tongue deep in the hole one last time before pushing his head up and out from under covers. As he did so he found himself lying prone along Cas – Dick to ass – stomach to back. When his face came out into the cool of the bedroom he realized that his chin was dripping wet and he was panting. He was hard as a rock and eager as a teen. Cas was handing him a bottle with the top already open.

Dean flung the covers back, lifted himself off of his man and greased up three fingers to plunge in. Cas moaned and swirled his hips under Dean.

“Oh Cas, fuckin look at you!” Dean gaped. “Fuck Cas – Just. Fuck.”

“Please Dean, please…”

“Yeah Cas.” He said as he pushed the tip in slowly.

“Yessss” they both hissed as he moved deeper.

Sinking into Cas had always been amazing. Each time was just as good as the first. The feel of the man around him was indescribable. When his balls were resting against his man’s ass he took a deep breath and pulled back slowly. Halfway up he began descending again.

“I’m sorry Cas.” Breathed Dean, as he pulled out. “Can’t. Like this.” He panted. “Need you… to… turn over. Need to. See. You.” He gasped, pulling his weight back to his knees and giving Cas room to roll over.

When they were face to face he looked into the sapphire eyes that had captivated him from the very first moment. Cas looked at him too and said, “I’ve been missing you, Dean.”

“I know.” He said. “I’m glad you stayed for me.”

“Me too.”

“I’ll try to be worth it for you.” Said Dean shakily.

“You are.” Said Cas.

Dean sunk back in then. The men held their gaze as Dean pushed in all the way. Cas looped his legs around Deans waist and used his leverage to pull toward Dean, bringing his body up off the mattress and meeting each thrust. They moved together a few times before Dean dropped his shoulders and put his weight on his forearms, fucking deeply into Cas and feeling the swell of lust move lower in his body. He could feel Cas’ heels on his back and he could feel his friends hand as he snaked it between their bodies to fist his cock and stroke it.

“Fuck yeah, Cas”

Cas moaned out to him and he was lost to words – only able to moan back. The tingles began to swarm together, pressing lower, heavy now in his groin.

He put his mouth to Cas’ shoulder and began to suck while he thrust into his lover hard and fast. Their rhythm was building and Cas was murmuring encouragements, progressively louder and dirtier. By the time Dean came, Cas was practically shouting for Dean to fuck him harder. Dean pressed on, filling up his man and continuing to thrust until he saw Cas open his mouth and close his eyes. Then he flexed forward – pressing his dick and all his body weight forward into Cas as deep as he could go and swiveling his hips around for Cas whose body was locked in pleasure.

When the moment was past, Dean slid to the side and laid next to his friend, letting his breathing slow and his mind buzz with pleasure. When both men were breathing normally again, Dean spoke.

“What are your plans for today?”

“Not much. I was going to get some groceries this afternoon. I have practice at 6.” Said Cas.

“Well,” said Dean, “you’ve pretty much been stuck here at my place for the last month or two. How bout we do something fun tonight and then crash at your place?”

“Sure. What are you doing with your afternoon?” asked Cas.

“I need to see my mom. I’m gonna go to her place and help her do her baking for the peds.”

“Mmm. If she makes brownies, bring me one.” Mumbled Cas.

“Sure thing,” said Dean leaning in to kiss his man.

“Two. Bring me two.” Laughed Cas.

 

 

 

When Dean pulled up in the Impala and parked, he noticed for the first time that the leaves were falling from the trees. It was full blown autumn. It made him itch to take a hike. He made a mental note to himself to plan something with Cas before the season ended and the cold winter rainstorms set in. 

He rang the bell and then moved to open the door but found it locked. His mother’s car was out front so he knew she was home. He waited for her to open the door.

When she saw him she seemed thrilled. She looked around (probably for Cas) and then pulled Dean into hug. As they walked into the house she apologized for the door having been locked, “I didn’t know you were coming.” She concluded. Then she added, “for some reason, I keep the doors locked now. Your dad was never home while I was baking and I never locked the door back then. For some reason it just feels different now. I lock the door all the time. And I keep lights on at night – even when I go up to bed. It’s childish.”

Deans heart broke a little for her when she said that.

“Why aren’t you wearing a jacket?” she asked him. “It’s freezing out.”

“I keep asking myself that every time I step outside,” he laughed, “but I’m always to lazy to take the elevator all the way back upstairs and get a coat once I’ve forgotten it.”

She turned her back on him and moved to the hall closet. “Here.” She said handing him a brown leather jacket. Dean reached out for it by instinct, but immediately pushed it back to her. “I can’t take this,” he said. “It was dads.”

“I know,” she smiled. “All the more reason for you to have it.”

“Thanks mom,” he said, feeling his eyes tear up a little.

“I’m sorry honey. I didn’t mean to upset you.” She said, laying a hand on his cheek.

“Its ok mom,” he said pausing to sniff the air to see what she was baking. “Is that pumpkin pie?” He asked her.

“Pumpkin bars,” she corrected, “with cream cheese frosting.”

“I picked a good day to come by,” he said while following her to the kitchen.

“I’m making cookies too, but the pumpkin smell kind of overpowers everything else.”

Dean looked at the finished cookies she had out on cooling racks. They were sugar cookies frosted in orange and she was in the process of using a frosting bag to pipe faces on each cookie, turning each into a jack-o-lantern.

“These look awesome!” enthused Dean as he rubbed his hands together. “Can I help?”

“Absolutely,” she said smiling. “Here.” She handed him a frosting bag and left him to put faces on pumpkin cookies while she resumed rolling out another batch before using a cookie cutter to give them each their shapes.

“Where’s Cas?” she asked him.

“Grocery run.” Said Dean, “then practice tonight.”

“How’s his team doing this year?” she asked.

Dean paused to think for a moment. He had no idea. He didn’t recall having ever asked Cas about his games or Cas having volunteered any information about them either. “Honestly mom, I’m not sure.”

She gave him a serious look. “Are you two ok?” she asked him.

“Yeah mom. It hasn’t been easy for him, but he’s hangin in there. Actually, that’s kind of why I’m here.” Dean confessed. “I kind of woke up last night or something. I don’t know why or how – but I just started to feel things again. I mean, feel things besides the loss. That’s when I realized that I haven’t been a very good son to you.” He said as he set down his frosting bag and moved to her side. “I really was just thinking of myself and not you or Sam or even Cas. I’ve been an ass.”

“No sweetie. You’ve been grieving.” She said, “And it’s ok. We all handle things in our own way. You’ve always turned inward a little when you’re struggling with something.” She paused for a moment and then added, “But I’m glad to see you’re coming around now.”

“Thanks mom. How are you doing?”

“Well,” she said – resuming her cookie prep – “I’m miserable and lonely. But it’s getting easier. My friends have been great.” She laughed shortly saying, “You know… I was so frustrated for a while that so many of our friends were divorcing. We were running out of couples to do things with! But now that I’m a widow it’s nice that all my friends are divorced because we hang out and do ‘girl stuff’ now instead of the ‘couple stuff’ we used to do.”

“Really?” asked Dean. “What kind of stuff do you do?”

“Well, we go to the pottery place and paint picture frames and mugs and stuff” she said, gesturing to the shelf over the sink where some of her work was displayed.

“We go for tea once a week and I’m taking a French cooking class with Deanna and Linda.”

“Wow,” said Dean trying to fix the ugly jack-o-lantern he’d made. “You know, maybe you should do the faces and I should run the cookie cutter!” he laughed as he traded places with her.

They chatted and baked for the remainder of the morning and by lunch time they were loading up her SUV. He climbed in with her and they hit a drive thru for lunch on their way downtown, gobbling greasy fries and chatting the whole time.

When they arrived, she pulled up two stainless steel racks with multiple tiers, and began pulling the tins of cookies and bars out and sliding them into the racks. Once they were loaded up, they each took a rack and pushed to the elevator. He followed her out onto the pediatrics floor and stopped first at the nurse’s station where she added a box to the top of one rack and picked up a list from the head nurse. She used a marker to circle the kids who were unable to eat the sweets. For those she had the box. They began at one end of the hall and each time they stopped in a room she checked off the patient. Each kid got their choice of treats and the families who were in the room were also served. Dean could see the looks on the faces of the families. It wasn’t just cookies they were receiving. His mother was a kindred spirit to these people. She knew most of them by name and inquired about whatever treatments they’d been doing that week and offered moral support to those for whom the week had not been favorable and heartfelt joy for those for whom the tide was turning.

Dean watched the kids – some were just toddlers and some were school aged. But all were quite sick. Some were dragging oxygen or IV carts around the playroom. Some had lost their hair. Some were so sickly looking he couldn’t look right at them. But his mom did. She would get down on her knees and look them in the eye with a bright smile and chatter with them about their toys, their games, their families. She was incredible.

For those that couldn’t eat a treat she left the cart in the hall and brought in the big box and let them pull out a brightly wrapped present. Once it was open, if she felt they weren’t pleased with it she would find some discrete way of figuring what they preferred and then selecting a new package for them.

There was one room that they didn’t go in. The child inside was hooked to a lot of machines and didn’t appear conscious. The family came out to greet his mother and she hugged them and cried with them when they told her that it looked like their child wasn’t going to make it. Dean was unable to keep the tears from falling.

He’d been so distraught at losing a parent. How could anyone bear to lose a child? His heart broke from the weight of even considering it.

By the time they left the hospital, Dean was wiped out. It had taken a lot out of him emotionally and Mary looked equally rung out.

“Is it always like that?” he asked her when they slid back into her SUV.

“I’m afraid so.” She said.

“You’ve been doing that for so long.” Dean marveled. “Where do you find the strength?”

“Well, every time I think that I can’t do it and I tell myself that I’m not going to go this week, I just think of how disappointed they will all be if I don’t. That gets me in there no matter what. And you know what?” she asked, “those families are there for weeks – months at a time – sometimes longer. Some of those kids get checked in and will never leave; they’ll die there. The volunteers are the only people they will ever see again who aren’t doctors and nurses. How could I not go?”

Dean was astounded. “You’re amazing mom” he said hugging her. When they got back to the house there was a mess to clean up. Dean stayed to help with that too. Once the dishes were washed Mary said she was ready for a nice long nap and thanked Dean for being a part of her day. He hugged her tightly before heading out to his car.

As he stepped out onto the porch he shrugged on the old leather jacket she’d given him that had been his fathers. It felt right on his shoulders. He took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of his father. Then he climbed in the Impala. He felt very connected to John Winchester, but he didn’t cry. He savored the connection as he roared down the highway.

 

 


	3. Don't Think Twice, It's Alright

Dean stepped through the door and called out to Cas.

“Kitchen!” Cas answered.

Dean followed the voice into his kitchen and saw Cas’ perky ass teasing him from the refrigerator, where the man was clearly putting something away in one of the crisper drawers. He stepped up quickly before he missed the chance to grab himself two handfuls of that firm ass.

Cas lingered a moment or two longer than strictly necessary, busying himself in the drawers and enjoying Deans friskiness. When he stood up straight he was engulfed by strong arms wrapping around him and felt Dean press into his neck, humming a greeting.

As they peeled apart, Cas resumed putting away groceries and Dean leaned on the counter, smiling at his man.

“Nice coat,” Cas said, glancing at him as he dug through grocery bags, “I don’t remember having seen that one before.”

“It was my dad’s. Mom gave it to me today.”

“Wow,” he said pausing to look closer, “it looks so right on you.”

“Thanks Cas.” Said Dean offering him a genuine smile. “Did you say practice is at 6?”

“Yes. I was going to make us something to eat and then rest a little before I left.”

“Why don’t I do that?” asked Dean, gently pushing himself past Cas and looking through cupboards. “I’m not quite the chef that you are – but I think I can scrape together something edible.”

“Ok, thanks,” said Cas balling up the grocery sacks and dropping them in the trash.

Dean took over the kitchen, filling a pot with water and setting it on the stove as Cas sauntered out. Dean spent a few minutes putting together a decent salad while spaghetti noodles boiled and sauce from a jar heated up on the stove.

He looked around the corner and saw Cas sitting on the couch watching TV so he plated the food and took it to the coffee table. As he set a plate in front of Cas he asked what the man wanted to drink.

“Milk please.”

Dean chuckled and made a few more trips to the kitchen before sitting down to eat with Cas. The man already had his plate in his lap and his pasta half gone. Dean dug in and cleared his plate quickly – he hadn’t realized how hungry he was until he started eating.

Once he’d finished he kicked back and looked at his phone to check the time. “What time to do you leave to get there by 6?”

“5:30,” said Cas. “Why?”

“Thought I’d come along and watch.”

“It’s not a game Dean, just practice.”

“Who cares… I’ve been in a fog the whole season. I’ve missed so many chances to watch you play. I’d like to come,” he said, “unless you’d prefer I didn’t…” he finished, voice trailing off.

Cas tipped his head, considering. “Yes, come. I’d love you to meet everyone,” he said smiling.

“Ok Cas,” Dean said, hunkering down into the couch, “wake me when you’re getting ready to leave.”

Cas returned his attention to the TV, but snuck a few looks at Dean as the man faded into sleep. So adorable. Cas was smiling just looking at him. It was good to have the real Dean back.

Cas found himself nodding off too and set an alarm on his phone to vibrate at five. He was unsure of how long he’d slept when it buzzed in his hand the first time, but he’d sunken deep into the couch. He laid a bit longer, his body warm where Dean’s legs covered his own. Shortly after five, Cas turned off the TV and slid out from under Dean to go get ready. As he dropped his bag near the door he woke Dean who stretched and yawned and smiled at Cas.

As they prepared to leave, Cas watched Dean pull on his father’s leather jacket. He tossed Dean a hoodie. “You might end up wanting that later. It’s pretty cold after the sun goes down.”

In the elevator Dean asked if it was ok to ride together. “Sure,” said Cas. “We can take baby if you want.”

Dean smiled as they climbed into the Impala. Cas’ bag sat in the front seat between them and for the first time in ages - Dean turned on the radio. He didn’t even have to search for a station. Tom Petty was singing ‘Free falling’ and it suited his mood perfectly. He smiled again at his man – who looked especially sexy in his soccer get up. The deep blue and grey of the uniform seemed to bring out the darker blues in his eyes, and made him appear youthful, especially with his soft hair sticking up from having fallen asleep on the couch together.

It didn’t take them long to get there since the park where practices were held was actually closer to Deans place than to Cas’. When they arrived, Cas grabbed his bag and Dean grabbed the hoodie Cas had given him and they headed toward the field where players were starting to warm up. There were several fields adjacent to one another and it appeared there were several different teams practicing tonight – each on their own field. There were bleaches set up along the perimeter. As they neared the closest set bleachers, Cole trotted up to them. Cas dropped his bag on the ground and introduced Cole to his friend Dean.

Cole extended his hand warmly toward Dean, grasping firmly, “Great to meet you man, I’ve heard so much about you.”

“All bad I hope,” said Dean jokingly and winking at Cas.

“So,” Cole said, clasping Dean’s shoulder and moving them towards the field, “are you just dropping off our MVP or are you staying to watch?”

“I’m stayin” said Dean, glancing at the bleachers. He noticed a few people gathered there – mostly women (wives and girlfriends, he assumed) and one who was obviously a photographer and setting up a camera.

“Awesome!” said Cole, giving him another shoulder clap. “They sell snacks and horrible coffee over there,” he said, pointing at a small shack towards the edge of the field. “If you get cold – shitty coffee is better than none.” He was walking backwards now – leaving Dean at the bleachers and putting an arm around Cas as they headed for the field.

Dean had to bite back a small pang of jealousy as he watched Cole move easily with Cas. Dean had known that the two ran together in the mornings but had never given any thought to what Cole actually looked like. Dude was hot. Really hot… and buff.

Dean told himself to relax. Cole was obviously straight. Of course, that’s what people thought of Dean too. Straight. Ugh.

He sat down on the bleachers and watched the two men stretching together. He tried not to stare, forced himself to look around the field at Cas’ other teammates. To pass the time he started looking at the other players and trying to pick out their ‘mate’ from those on the bleachers.

Soon there was a whistle blowing and the players converged on their coach. Dean couldn’t hear what was being said but soon the players dispersed outward and took formations on the field to run drills. After a few minutes, Dean started to realize how cold his butt was on the aluminum bleachers. He spread the hoodie Cas had given him on the seat and sat on it. Better.

One of the women moved closer to him and introduced herself. She gave her name as Robin and said that her boyfriend was Gabe. Dean said he hadn’t met Gabe – only knew Cas and Cole. She gave Dean Gabe’s jersey number so he could pick him out.

Dean inquired as to what position the man played. He was really only being polite but the answer she gave was so involved that he found himself asking more and more clarifying questions. He ended up getting an impromptu lesson in the basics of soccer.

Soon the drills were over and the team moved apart to scrimmage. The team on the closer end of the field turned their shirts inside out and they began a real game. The coach and his assistant were yelling and running with the guys. Dean had never had a football coach that could keep up running with his team the way these two did.

He found himself being sucked into the game and really appreciating the skill of the players. They all handled the ball more expertly than he’d been expecting – their fancy footwork was fun to watch. The ball got close many times but no one ever scored.

Dean eventually got cold enough that he was shivering and shaking. He put the sweatshirt on and pulled the hoodie up over his ears, sliding the leather jacket back over top. That left his ass getting colder by the second.

In time, he got up and headed over for shitty coffee. He grabbed an extra for Robin who’d been sitting with him. But, after giving it to her, he stood rather than sit down on the cold aluminum again.

Dean noticed that many of the men on the field had put on sweat pants at some point. Even running they were getting cold. Cas had been right. Without the sun it was freezing. The bright white lights of the park were glaring, Deans teeth were chattering, the people on the bleachers were all bundled up like it was Christmas. The photographer had moved on long ago. He was moving around to each of the practice fields – taking pictures of the different teams.

When it was finished Cas’ team huddled up for the coach. Once the huddle broke, the players exited the field in small groups – the largest of which was headed for the bleachers. Dean watched Cas walking closer and digging in his bag. As he reached Dean he dropped the bag and threaded a hoodie over his uniform. Now he was covered completely in sweats and nothing was visible of his uniform at all, but he looked edible in that hoodie.

His friends smile was wide and bright as he began introducing Dean to the other players. Dean shook hands with Gabe and told the man he’d sat with Robin to watch. Just as her name was said she popped up and slid into Gabe’s arms. Dean thought she was way too hot for Gabe. Out of his league. But as he watched them together for a bit, he realized that she wasn’t going anywhere. Gabe was confident… and funny. Dean had to give him a nod of approval. He was the kind of guy who could hang on to a hotter woman.

During the practice he’d noticed that Gabe was a key player too. He was fast and tricky. (And he seemed to have a propensity for smacking Cas on the ass.)

Dean was also introduced to a few others. Most of the names went by too fast for him to remember. But he got to shake hands with both Gordon and Victor (Vic) so he was able to put faces with their names and really remember them. They were clearly friends and both men were obviously arrogant, but Vic seemed to be the nicer of the two.

As the players disbanded Cas walked with Dean to the Impala. He was clearly tired but elated. “What did you think, Dean?”

“Of your sexy ass playing soccer or your meeting your friends?”

“Well, I meant what did you think of soccer in general, but I’m happy to hear about my sexy ass _playing_ soccer too,” he grinned.

“Well, I have to say,” Dean frowned as they climbed into the car, “it was fun to watch. I had no idea how good you guys really are. That was some next level shit.” Cas was grinning.  “But, I’m used to football and baseball and basketball. You guys played for almost 90 minutes and the score was 0 – 0.” Dean took a deep breath and looked at Cas with his cutting half grin/smile, “Ninety minutes to end 0 – 0!!! Cas, I need to see someone score!” he laughed.

Cas bit his tongue to keep all the dirty jokes about scoring locked inside and simply asked Dean if he wanted to go home or still go out tonight.

“Well,” Dean said smiling, “I actually had something in mind if you’re up for it.”

“What did you have in mind?” asked Cas as he turned the heat up in the car.

“A movie”

“Ok,” said Cas, “can we stop at home and let me clean up first?”

“Sure,” said Dean turning out of the parking lot, “you take a shower to clean up – and I’ll climb in with you to thaw out” he chuckled, “I’m a damn popsicle.”

Cas went straight to the shower and Dean checked online for the show times of the theater he wanted to go to before joining the man. By the time he’d thawed enough to pay any real attention to the wet naked man in the shower with him, the man was toweling off. Dean shampooed his hair and exited the shower too. They dressed and Cas asked if they were in any hurry.

“Nope. We can leave whenever you’re ready,” replied Dean.

Cas thought this was strange but didn’t comment on it.

When Dean steered the Impala out onto the expressway, Cas settled back into the seat, and enjoyed listening to music and passing a joint back and forth with Dean. He thought it was weird they were going so far just go to the movies (there was a multiplex less than a mile from the condo) but he didn’t speak of it. He simply enjoyed the ride.

They exited and headed into a neighborhood Cas was unfamiliar with. In the distance he thought he could see the golden arches of a McDonalds. But as they drew closer, it wasn’t a McDonalds. It was two separate lighted yellow arches – similar to the St. Louis arch – sitting next to each other. Each arch was over half of the road. On the right was an entrance and on the left was an exit. The sign said West Wind Solano Drive-In Theater.

Cas was immediately excited! He sat up straight and rolled down his window, looking around with interest. “I’ve never been to a drive in before,” he grinned.

“Me either,” said Dean, “but I’ve always wanted to go to one.” They pulled up behind a short line of cars moving through the arch. They stopped at the little shack to pay, turned off their lights and moved forward into the theater lot. There was a large round building with windows all the way around selling concessions. Dean had his arm out the window and was relishing the rumble of his sleek muscle car as he guided baby through the lot and toward the closest spot that was open.

The breeze was cold, but rather than roll up the windows, Dean cranked the heat up full blast. As they pulled into a space he looked over at Cas. Their eyes connected and crackle of electricity passed between them. Dean turned off the engine and slid toward the middle with his arm up on the back of the seat. Cas moved into the crook of his arm and they settled in together to watch the movie.

The noises of the drive in around them weren’t distractions from the movie – they were ambiance.  This was such a fun way to see a movie! Cas reached up to the dashboard and picked up the flyer they’d been given at the gate which listed the movies playing that night. There were five. They’d missed most of the first movie – it was too late to figure out what was happening. But the next movie would be a comedy and after that was something scary. The last two shows were ones Cas had never heard of.

“Dean?”

“Hmm?”

“There’s about ten minutes left of this movie,” said Cas, looking intently at Dean.

Dean looked back at him and caught the impish grin that ticked across his face for a split second. “Cas, what are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking,” said Cas, leaning in closer, “that instead of trying to figure out what’s happening,” he touched his lips to Deans softly, “we should just find something else to do for a few minutes.”

Dean pulled back just half an inch, “Are you trying to get me to buy popcorn?” he teased.

“I’m trying to get you in the back seat, Winchester,” said Cas huskily as he brought their lips together again.

Dean slotted his lips together with Cas and felt that crackle again, it zinged from him to Cas and back again, causing his heart to beat faster and his breath to speed up. He opened his eyes and glanced around, trying to gauge if two grown men flopping into the back seat would be noticed.

Cas, reading his mind, took off his shoes and climbed into the back seat without even looking around. Dean chanced another glance around and shrugged, mimicking Cas’ movements and sliding into the backseat. They were a tumble of arms and legs for a moment but soon found themselves sorted out. Dean was back to having one arm draped over the backseat, around Cas. Their legs were facing forward and Cas was leaning into Dean with arms threaded around his waist. No one seemed to notice that the entire car had been rocking as they moved around. Dean looked at Cas and immediately found their faces pressed together. Cas inhaled deeply as they connected and turned the angle of his neck to encourage Dean closer.

Dean closed his eyes and filled his senses with Cas. His smell, his soft skin, his solid body and his chapped lips that were somehow soft and warm. Their tongues were wet and indulgent as they slid together in a tantalizing rhythm. Cas pushed himself in closer and Dean curled his arms around Cas to pull him tighter still.

Dean found himself breathing faster and his hand slid up Castiel’s thigh and squeezed. Cas moaned into his mouth and pushed his leg up over Deans. Dean’s hand took advantage of the new position and wandered around to squeeze a handful of ass.

Dean broke their kiss which had turned sloppy and heated to put his mouth to Cas’ neck and began working his lips down under the collar line where he could mark his man without fear of retribution. He began sucking a deep purple mark into the Cas’ shoulder as his fingers walked upward and tickled inside the waistband of his man’s jeans.

He felt Cas tense when his fingers met skin and Cas tipped his head back allowing more access for Deans marking. Dean could feel Cas’ breathy puffs of air as he panted. This was getting heated fast. Dean was noticing that Cas was tangling into him more and more and he was leaning more into Cas’ space too. Soon they’d be laying down in the back seat if they kept this up. His body shivered at the thought and his dick, which had been chubby but well behaved so far, immediately jumped at the prospect of getting horizontal in the backseat of the Impala.

His traitorous member didn’t seem to understand they were just killing a few minutes. That little fucker was pressing firmly at his jeans – wanting out. He didn’t have to put a hand on Cas’ package to know it was growing just as steadily. But he did anyway. God his man had an awesome dick. His jeans grew even tighter as he cupped his palm and rubbed against the denim. He wanted that dick. He wanted to touch it, taste it and choke on it. He wanted Cas out of his jeans now.

Just to be sure he didn’t go too far, Dean forced himself to open his eyes and remember where they were. It worked like a charm. As soon as he tipped his head up his eyes caught movement in the next car. Yep. There was a man and a woman trying not to get caught watching them. At first, the thought of being watched by them was titillating, until he noticed they had two younger kids in the backseat. Dean immediately pulled away from Cas. He whispered, “We have an audience.” Cas paused for a moment and Dean saw the gears turning so he said, “A _young_ audience.”

Both men immediately moved apart and faced forward. Dean glanced back at the couple once and saw a slight nod of appreciation from the man. He relaxed back on the seat. And turned his attention to the screen. The next movie was starting anyway.

They laughed the whole way through. By the end of the movie they were comfortably leaning back in their seats with their socked feet propped up on the seat in front of them.

Between movies they got out to stretch their legs. They ambled to the restroom (which was nasty) and then the concession stand. Dean noticed that the cars that had young kids in them all seemed to be leaving. Perhaps it was due to the next movie being a scary one or perhaps it was simply getting late.

They took their treats back to the car and settled in just as the scary movie was starting. The car to their right (with the family in it) had left. The car on their left had a young man and woman it – they were already making out. Dean had to work not to watch them and focus on the movie.

He and Cas slowly drifted closer together as the movie went on. Each time there was a startle on the screen, they both jumped and ended up scaring each other. It got funnier and funnier each time it happened.

About three quarters of the way through the movie, there was a sex scene. Dean glanced at the car to their left. No heads were visible. Dean could make an educated guess why. He moved his hand to cup Cas again. Soon Cas had his hand on Dean too. Both men looked to the left and right to be sure the coast was clear and began unzipping. Dean felt his pulse quicken as their fingers circled each other’s cocks and pulled them out. This was hot.

Cas rolled Dean between his fingers as his softness plumped up and grew harder.

Dean fisted Cas and pulled his thumb over the tip gently.

Cas’ mouth watered as he glanced down at the thick cock in his hand.

The sex scene had long been over. There was nothing sexy about the woman onscreen running down the hall in terror – or the ghoulish creature following her. But that’s where Cas fixed his eyes as his hand worked Deans dick over cleverly. He took his time playing with it. He wasn’t trying to make Dean come. He was just massaging it, toying with it and letting it occupy his hand and mind.

Dean seemed to be of the same mindset playing with him. Cas felt Dean smooth a bead of pre-come over his head and swirl it there. He looked left and right to see if anyone was looking. No one appeared to be watching them. In fact, the hour had grown late and there weren’t that many cars left at all. There were far more empty spaces than cars. Cas looked forward again at the screen and smiled. He knew Dean was watching the movie but paying it no attention so he leaned over and whispered in the man’s ear, “This was fun. I love the drive in,” and then he slid down in the seat and took Dean into his mouth. He felt Dean tense with excitement and then relax into it. Cas took his time. He worked up and down, sucking and rolling his tongue against the solid mass of his man. His mouth watered in gratitude for the hard and heavy cock sliding along his tongue and he feared that his slurping noises were being heard by someone since the windows of the Impala were still down, the fear provided an extra tingle of excitement. He didn’t even try to be quiet.

Dean seemed to share his thought about being heard and chanced a glance around. Last time Dean had looked at the car next to them – the couple had clearly been horizontal. But now, they were back up right. The young girl was draped over her date’s chest and watching the movie while his arm circled her shoulders.

Cas’ noises were obscene and just as Dean was noticing that the windows were also down on the car next to them, the young man turned his head and looked straight at Dean. Their eyes met and the guy gave Dean a smug look and tipped his head as if to acknowledge that they were both studs for getting worked over at the drive in. He found it hard not to chuckle.

Cas was working him over alright… it was wet and noisy and all consuming. His body was thrumming with desire as Cas sucked him devotedly – worshipping his cock with his mouth and working his hands on whatever he could reach. Dean couldn’t help but thread his fingers into Cas’ hair, grasping a fistful and feeling Cas breath come harder and faster between slurps.

Long fingers were pushing into the hot sticky place between his legs and he instinctively spread his legs to allow better access. Pleasure swelled higher as he felt Cas run fingers gently over his balls and begin kneading them. Dean hadn’t had this much fun in a backseat since prep school. He felt young and wild and reckless and sinful. His hips were moving of their own will – it was impossible to be still when Cas drove him like this. He dropped his head back and shut his eyes. “Cas,” he whispered.

“Hmm?” Cas hummed to him.

“Gonna… come…” he breathed out and clamped his hand on the back of his lovers head like a vice. He felt Cas pause and take in a deep breath, knowing what was coming, and when Deans strong arm shoved his mouth down forcefully on his throbbing cock Cas didn’t fight it. He let himself be impaled and then bounced back up and forced himself down one last time as Dean pulsed his essence down the man’s throat.

As Dean’s world was spinning, Cas was licking the last of the sticky jizz from Deans tender member and gently putting him back in his pants. Dean’s chest was heaving and Cas pulled himself back up to sit next to Dean, facing the screen. As Dean came slowly back to himself he pulled his head up and glanced at Cas, meeting his eye. “Damn Cas,” husked Dean who was still breathing pretty heavily, “No one has ever done what you do. Ever.”

The look on Cas’ face was clearly pride and lust in equal measure. Dean swallowed and breathed in and out a few more times, glancing around that their surroundings. The Impalas open windows, the cool night air wafting in and the shadowy figures on the movie screen all helped him re-orientate himself. As his gaze drifted to the left, he glanced once more at the couple in the car next them. The girl was still snuggled up to her escort, and as if he could sense being watched, the driver swiveled his head toward Dean. He felt the young man’s eyes glaze over him quickly and fix on Cas. He practically did a double take. This must’ve been the first time he realized that there were two men in the car next to him.

Out of curiosity more than anything else, Dean watched the man closely for his reaction. He immediately stiffened and snapped his head back forward to focus his attention on the movie. But after a moment the initial shock seemed to wear off and he thought he saw the man huff a small grin.

Dean could only assume that tomorrow morning – this guy would have a racy story to tell all his frat buddies… the story of banging his chick at the drive in and then realizing that there had been a gay guy giving head in the car next to him while they’d been going at it. Dean noticed that he’d used the word gay to describe his actions with Cas and found it didn’t really bother him. _Huh._

He considered the frat guy telling his buds about his night at the drive in. With the right embellishments it would probably be quite funny. Dean let his head drop back onto the seat and turned to Cas to whisper, “I’ve got you Cas, I just need a minute. I think you sucked my brain out the tip.”

He felt Cas chuckle beside him. He took a few more minutes to enjoy the euphoria before he turned his mouth into the warmth of Cas’ neck and angled his body toward his friend, sinking lower with wet kisses. “I don’t want to give you a blow job, Cas. I have stage fright. That was a tough act to follow,” he chuckled into Cas’ chest.

“Don’t bother Dean,” chuckled Cas, “I came in my pants when you shoved my head down.”

“Damn” Dean breathed out.

“I know.” Said Cas, laughing harder now. “I’m pretty uncomfortable right now.”

“You ready to head out?”

“Yeah. I need a shower.”

Dean counted to three in his head and then forced his weak limbs to flop forward and climb gracelessly back to the front seat of the Impala. He turned to assist Cas in getting over but the man simply used his door to exit the car and then enter again through the front door. He sat slowly and with a grimace on his face. It was comical, and Dean had to bite his lip to suppress a laugh.

Dean turned the key and the car roared to life under them. Both men had their arms resting on their open windows as they rolled slowly out of the drive in. Once they got back on the expressway, they rolled up their windows and Cas leaned in to fiddle with the radio.

Dean reached for the man’s hand and pulled it way from the dash, not letting go.  With nothing but the sound of the tires on the road and the heavy engine working beneath them, Dean said,

“Cas, man, I’ve been a tool. I know that. I’m not gonna bother giving you a bunch of sorries. A hundred wouldn’t be enough. Besides, I think you already know that I never meant to hurt you. I was just selfish and pissed because I was hurting. Still am.”

Cas looked over at him, but Dean couldn’t meet his eye. Instead he continued to face forward, watching the dark and empty road ahead of them. Neither man said anything but Dean felt his friend give his hand a squeeze. With that he exhaled and was able to glance over at Cas again, affording the man a small but sincere smile.

“I know this might still be a sore subject,” he breathed, “But there’s something I need to say to you,” Dean continued in a stiff voice, trying to get the words out without his voice shaking. “You were right about a lot of things. Especially about not fucking me after the funeral. I wasn’t ready.” His voice was stronger now, it was getting easier to speak, so he forged on.

“I still don’t think I could’ve hated you. But you were right. It would’ve messed with my head.” Dean paused for a moment, swallowed thickly before continuing.

“But Cas, I want you to know that I think I’m ready now. I trust you. I do. With everything else – so why not this, huh?” he didn’t look at Cas again. But he did finish by saying, “I trust you, man. So when you think the time is right. I’m in.”

They traveled the rest of the way in silence. At some point Cas did reach up and put on the radio. When they got to Cas’ condo they headed up. It felt like years since Dean had been here. They moved through the lobby slowly since Cas was doing his best to walk with dried spunk in his pants. Dean gave his friend an empathetic smile in the elevator going up and as soon as they walked through the door, Cas made straight for the shower.

Dean stood in the living room for a few minutes, just looking around. Things looked different now. He moved to the fridge and grabbed them water bottles and headed to the bedroom. When he came in the room it felt quiet, but there sat Cas’ turntable like an old friend. Dean dropped the water on the bed and moved to it, trying to decide what to play. The mood had been somber in the car because of his confession, but overall it had been a great night. There didn’t need to be this weight on his chest.

He searched for something soft enough to fall asleep to, but not depressing. He considered Bob Dylan, knowing it was a favorite of Cas’ and settled on the Freewheelin’ Album. He moved he needle onto the record and headed to the bed, stripping down as he walked and crawling in. He pulled out his phone and set an alarm to wake him for brunch in the morning, setting it on the nightstand with the water bottles.

The bed was clean and fresh and smelled like Cas’ laundry soap. He tucked himself down in it and felt comfortable, waiting for Cas to come out of the shower. He must’ve drifted off, because the next thing he knew, he was feeling solid arms around him, turning him over and tucking him into the space under Cas’ chin. The album was almost over – he’d slept through several songs and the last song was playing… ‘Don’t think twice, It’s Alright.’ He was asleep again before the song was over.

 

 

 

When the alarm went off in the morning, Dean almost thought he’d made a mistake setting it. He was still so tired. He checked the time. It was right. It really was time to get up. He considered why he was so tired and then realized that he’d done more yesterday then he’d done in the last week combined.

Clearly his body had gotten used to sleeping 16 hours a day and only going to work when he felt like it. He’d begun yesterday early and spent his morning and early afternoon with his mother. It had been good for both of them, but it had been emotionally taxing too. Then he’d gone to Cas’ soccer practice and spent two hours out in the cold night air, after which he’d taken Cas to the drive in where they’d seen back to back movies. _With a happy ending_ – he thought.

So, yeah, he’d packed in more activity yesterday than his body was used to and now he had to get up and go to brunch. He kicked the covers back and prepared to get up, but his heart was heavy and sadness seemed to have curled up with him in the night. He didn’t recall having any dreams but he was definitely not feeling good like he had yesterday. He laid back on the bed and let out a long sigh. It seemed that when he was sad, he was tired in equal measure. The oblivion of sleep always sounded like heaven when his heart was troubled. Now that feeling was back, curling up with him like a cat. A dank, smelly, unwelcomed cat.

He looked over at Cas. The man was watching him.

“What?”

“Nothing. Just don’t want to go to church today.” Said Cas.

“I don’t wanna get up either,” concurred Dean, “maybe we should just stay in bed today.”

Dean saw the look cross Cas’ face, even though it came and went in a blink. Dean knew Cas was thinking it would be a bad idea to allow a day in bed already when he’d finally gotten Dean out the bed just yesterday. Dean wasn’t even mad. He understood completely.

He rolled over and forced himself to make the walk to the shower. He reminded himself to simply focus on the next task in front of him, as his counselor had suggested. The man had told Dean not to be overwhelmed with the enormity of his day, just to focus on completing the next task. (first shower, then brush teeth, then get dressed, then drive to work, then open his email, then attend a meeting, etc.) The counselor was right. It was overwhelming to consider his entire day in his condition. But by simply forcing himself from one task to the next he found that he was able to get through the day’s activities without breaking down. Sometimes.

Once he’d willed himself to the shower, he found that Cas had followed him in. The day was looking up already. Their wet bodies leaned close and they stroked each other awake and gasped release with their foreheads on each other’s shoulders. _There are worse ways to start the day Winchester_ – Dean thought to himself.

One task at a time and he soon found himself moving to park the Impala at his mom’s house. Sam was already here. Dean walked in and headed for the kitchen. His mother welcomed him warmly but Sam barely glanced his way, grunting out a minimal greeting for Dean, clearly for his mother’s benefit only.

The boys chatted with their mother as she knocked around the kitchen, getting the last of their brunch ready. They carried dishes to the table for her and then all sat down to eat. The conversation moved around the table and it seemed nice. If anyone had been present who didn’t know the boys well, they would’ve seen a happy family. But Mary knew her boys. She knew something wasn’t right. She didn’t sully the meal by trying to drag them into a dialog. Instead she focused on enjoying what she did have. Both boys at the table with her.

After the meal they helped her clear and clean up. Then they sat down at the table again with a board game. It seemed to have become their new thing. Now that Dad was gone, it was weird to just go watch a game while his mother cleaned up. So, each week they’d play a game with her instead. This time it was monopoly. The game was relatively quiet. More so then any game with Sam and Dean playing had any right to be. The boys looked at each other but only when the other was looking away. Dean needed to talk to Sam today. That was the plan. But it was hard, especially with his mom here. It wasn’t until she told them she needed a nap and hugged them that Dean finally said something to Sam. He asked if Sam could stick around for a bit, saying he wanted them to talk.

Sam nodded ascent and then headed to the liqueur cabinet to pour himself a whiskey. Dean noticed that he wasn’t offered one.

He simply waited until Sam stepped away and then fixed his own. While he served himself he spoke to his brother without facing him.

“Thanks for stickin around, man, I really need to talk to you.”

“What about?”

“Everything.”

“Is that all?” questioned Sam sarcastically.

“Dude, I know you’re mad at me, and I know I’ve got it comin. I haven’t been here for you or for mom the way I should’ve” been.”

“Damn straight you haven’t.” said Sam. There was a cut to his words that implied he’d waited far too long to say them.

“Well, I feel bad about it. But besides apologize, there isn’t much I can do about it, except start doing better.”

“And you’re ready to do that?” Asked Sam.

“Yes, Sam, I think I am.”

“What’s changed?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I’ve just pulled my head out of my ass.” Chuckled Dean.

“Mom said you went with her to do peds yesterday.” Afforded Sam.

“Yeah. Don’t know how she does that,” said Dean, “it was brutal.”

“You know I stayed here for like six weeks after the funeral.” Said Sam.

“Yeah.” Dean agreed. He didn’t bother pointing out that he’d tried to help and been turned away.

“Well, I didn’t want to just leave her alone when I started sleeping at my place again. So I’ve been trying to come by every other day and do something with her. Just visit, or take her to lunch, or go get some groceries… just whatever. You know, so she’s still seeing me around a lot. With Dad being gone, I don’t want her to feel alone – going for days at a time without someone she loves visiting.”

“That’s really thoughtful of you, Sam”

“Well, it would be great if you could commit to coming once or twice a week so it wouldn’t always be me.” Said Sam firmly.

“Ok. I can do that.” Said Dean. “Do you have certain days you’d like me to come?”

“Tuesday/Thursday would be great.” Sam said matter-of-factly. “I could focus on school during the week and visit on the weekends, either Friday or Saturday and then we’d all be here for brunch on Sundays.”

“Works for me.” Said Dean. “Just let me know if there’s anything in particular you’d like me to do. If I don’t hear from you then I’ll just do whatever comes to mind.”

“Thanks Dean.”

“Sure Sam.”

There was a moment of awkwardness between the brothers. If they were feeling better, they’d hug. But Sam still had a sizeable chip on his shoulder and Dean was still feeling down. So in lou of a hug, Dean took Sam’s glass and refilled it.

“I’ve been going to the office every now and then,” said Dean, “but I haven’t really been working. I haven’t been reliable. Dad wouldn’t have liked it. He’d have kicked my ass by now.” Said Dean, not mincing words.

“I’m gonna change that starting tomorrow. I’m going to meet with dad’s upper level staff and pick up the reins that I’ve let fall.  The place is going to shit without him there to lead it. I’m going to do my best to fill in the hole. My plan is to meet with each department head this week and do an assessment of what each needs to rebound.”

“Sounds great Dean.”

“Do you care to be involved in any of that?”

“I have school Dean.”

“I know.” He said firmly, trying to maintain patience, “it’s half your company too. I don’t want you to feel like I’m taking over.”

“Please, take over for fuck’s sake!” shouted Sam. “I’m a fucking student, Dean. A student.”

His venomous tone and words bit at Dean. It was impossible to hold back.

“You’re closer to a lawyer now than I’ll ever be!” Dean yelled at him. “I’m the fucking special projects coordinator! If you need a holiday party planned – that’s my level of expertise!”

“Are you saying you’re in over your head, Dean?”

“Well, yeah.” He said, regaining a calmer demeanor, “I thought it was fully acknowledged that we both were at this point.”

Sam nodded but didn’t speak.

“Sam, there’s something you want to say to me. I can see it. Just get it over with.”

“No Dean. If you don’t know what’s bothering me – I don’t feel any need to tell you.”

“Jesus, Samantha, could you be more of girl?” Dean threw at him with acid in his voice.

Sam just burst out laughing – loudly. He walked from the room and his laughter continued down the hall behind him.

Dean watched him grab his keys from the entry table in the foyer and walk out the door.

“Well that was productive,” Dean said out loud to the empty room. “Good talk!” he shouted at the closed door.

He tossed back the last of drink and waited for the burn to subside before grabbing his coat and keys and heading for the door too.

_That could’ve gone better_ – he thought to himself.

 


	4. Reflections

The drive back to Cas’ condo felt long. Dean kept wishing he’d done better with Sam. In hindsight he could see that calling his brother a girl was an escalation. It may have felt good to say it, but he should’ve known the effect it would have. It had shut down all communication. He needed to stop indulging in his childish reactions to things and start controlling himself. He needed to start acting like a man.

But it did strike him as particularly odd that Sam had chosen not to divulge the source of his anger and frustration. Dean had known that there was something his brother wanted to say to him. But given the opportunity – Sam had passed on discussing it. Why?

Sam had said that if Dean didn’t know what was wrong then Sam wasn’t going to tell him. What the fuck? That’s something a high school girl says to her boyfriend, not something a grown man says to his brother.

With the afternoon sun warming the upholstery in the Impala, Deans mind began to wander. His comparison of Sam’s behavior to a high school girl took Dean back to memories of his prep school days. He smiled as he roared down the interstate thinking of how many memories he’d made in the back seat of this car.

He thought about parties he’d gone to, dates he’d been on. During his junior and senior years he’d barely made it through a weekend without something interesting going down in the back seat. He’d gotten lucky back there. With astonishing frequency. More than one friend had thrown up back there, and once the entire back seat had been filled from floor to ceiling with toilet paper rolls when he and his buddies had gone out to tee-pee their biology teacher’s house.

Yeah. He had good memories in this car. One summer night between his freshman and sophomore year at college… he’d driven down to Tijuana with Benny and Adam in this car. Dean’s memories of that trip were fuzzy, having been drunk and high for most of it. But he sure remembered the punishment his father had dished out when they got back. Dean smiled, thinking of John. He’d been such a hard-ass; a disciplinarian.

Knowing John better now he realized that, after punishing him, his father had probably laughed at Dean’s antics with his friends over bourbon and cigars. He’d probably spent hours re-telling old stories while he pined for the freedom and excitement of his own lost youth.  He’d probably even shared a laugh about it with Mary.

Dean’s memories of his time south of the boarder may have been fuzzy as he stood before his father and received his retribution, but even back then Dean had felt that the trip had been worth the punishment.

There was a tug at his heart that reminded him not to dwell on John for too long, or grief would take hold of him. So he forced his mind to move on to other memories in the Impala.

Sam. He and Sam had taken a road trip in the Impala too. The summer before his senior year in college, as Sam was getting ready to start his last year of prep school. Dean had convinced Sam that they should road trip up the coast. They’d had a blast. They’d made overnight stops in several fun beach towns and tourist traps along the way. They’d enjoyed days at the beaches talking up bikini clad chicks and their nights hitting any bar that would let Sam in. Sam had gotten a crash course in getting laid that summer, honed his skills, so to speak. Under Dean’s instruction Sam had turned into a prowling lady killer.  

Dean loved taking road trips, having his baby out on the open road. There was simply no greater sense of adventure then that.

 

 

Cas pulled his car up to the gate at his family’s home. As it slide open for him, he noticed that he was the last to arrive. All three of his sisters were already here. Anna, of course, and Hester with her husband Phillip (whom he detested) and Hanna with her husband Steve (whose company he preferred to Phillip but few others).

Cas felt sorry for Anna whenever they were here. Cas knew Anna well enough to know that her desire to get married stemmed less from her own life planning then it did from the constant niggling she got from their family about it. Hester and Hanna paraded their husbands around like prize puppies and never missed an opportunity to give Anna some passive/aggressive encouragement about her finding a husband soon. If their husbands weren’t both such insufferable bastards it might be more tolerable to watch his sisters preen over them, but no. It was sickening.

He parked in front of the garage as the gate closed behind him and headed inside. As the ornate door swung shut behind him he moved past the grand staircases and into the front room, where everyone was gathered. Church had been a snooze fest as usual. He went through the motions but his mind had been elsewhere. He’d grown accustomed to letting his mind wander during services – normally to his sexy times with Dean. It was just where his mind tended to go when he wasn’t concentrating on anything else. Perhaps that was his ‘happy place’. He’d long ago given up on feeling guilty about having sexy daydreams when he was supposed to be listening to the priest.

Now, as he moved into the front room with his siblings he went straight for the liquor decanter. Two ice cubes in a tumbler and bourbon. Now he could face his sisters and father. They were all poised elegantly about the room – as if they were paper dolls neatly arranged in a childs doll house.

His father was sitting in a wing chair with a cigar and a tumbler. His right ankle was thrown casually over his left knee – a seemingly relaxed posture. But Cas knew better. The man hadn’t relaxed since God was a boy. It was simply a pose. He looked the way a successful business man was supposed to look on a Sunday afternoon at home with his family; right down to the ridiculous cardigan sweater. His father nodded a greeting to him and he returned it before seating himself on a couch next to Anna. She was actively participating in a conversation with Hanna and Steve about their recent trip to Europe. Anna was nodding in all the right places and Hanna seemed happy to re-tell her travel stories to a captive audience.

Cas wasn’t listening to them at all. He was watching his father interact with Phillip. It was almost nauseating. As he leaned back into the sofa he took long swallows of his drink an enjoyed the first hints of the buzz he’d be needing to get through another Sunday dinner.

He felt Anna’s hand on his knee. It pulled him back from his musings. It was a silent signal to start paying attention because she was about to bring him into the conversation she was having. At some point their discussion of Europe had centered in on Vatican City. Anna turned to Cas and asked, “Didn’t you visit there on your last trip?”

“No,” said Cas. “I was arranged to, but it rained on the day.” He smiled politely for his other sister and her husband. He then began nodding along with Anna as they described their time inside the walls. He asked polite questions in all the right places and when his tumbler was empty he excused himself and moved again to the decanter. As he filled his glass again, he was overhearing his father and Phillip discussing emerging markets for a new drug in development. His stomach rolled a little thinking about Phillip being on the board of Baxter/Milton. If anyone could manage to sink lower than the current board – Phillip was the man. He couldn’t hold back the smile that pulled at the corners of his mouth as he thought about Michael bringing down the entire empire. It was for the best, clearly.

As he passed by his father’s chair the man engaged him into their discussion and that’s where he remained until his mother came into the room and announced that dinner was ready. She was perfectly poised in the doorway, looking every bit the flawless combination of Donna Reed and Coco Chanel. The family stood and walked toward the dining room. The opulent surroundings didn’t do anything for Cas.

Now that he’d spent time in Dean’s family home – this place did nothing for him. It didn’t even feel like a home anymore. Yes, he still had a room upstairs that had been his as a youth, but this place was cold. Like a museum. Every item was placed with careful consideration and a mindset toward design esthetics and presentation, and there was never a speck out of place.

No one had ever hung his projects up on the fridge in the kitchen when he was a boy. There were no school pictures decorating the walls or candid photos from family vacations dotting the mantles. Everything looked like a picture from the cover of a magazine. It was as false and trite as everything else in the Milton world. He was tired of it all. Repulsed by it.

 _Why do I keep coming here?_ – he thought.

He settled in at the table. Dinner smelled great. There was a large roast in the center of the table on a large silver platter surrounded by herbed baby potatoes and carrots. There were various salads and side dishes set around the table and a water goblet and wine glass at each place setting. His mother took her seat at his father’s side and looked adoringly at him while waiting for him to say the blessing.

As Cas dug into his plate, he joined his siblings in praising their mother for the delicious meal – which was laughable. Everyone knew there was a chef in the kitchen, and that the only thing his mother had done to assist in the preparation of this meal was to ‘coordinate’ (a polite person’s way of conveying the word ‘supervise’).

As the meal progressed the topic of conversation moved between each of the children and what they were doing, the happenings at Baxter Milton and of course a few sugar coated digs at Castiel for his lack of participation in recent family activities and at Anna for having the audacity to still be single.

When his mother brought out the dessert, his mouth watered. He’d smoked a joint on the way over here – just to be sure he could stay mellow in the face of this sorry shit show of familial bonding.

The problem with that was that all the food smelled amazing and he couldn’t get enough. He clearly had the munchies and it bothered him that he couldn’t ask for seconds on dessert. (That would’ve been interpreted as strange by his family.)

After the meal, everyone adjourned back to the front room. Drinks were poured and the conversation continued. Cas excused himself and moved through the main hall of the house toward the enormous paned-glass doors that opened out to the back of the property. He stepped out and looked around. It was foggy today but he could still see the golden gate bridge where it stretched out over the bay. Their back doors opened up onto a large courtyard. Straight ahead was a wall - over which you could see the dark rolling waters of the bay. To the left and right were symmetrical stair cases that wound downward to the next level where the pool and guest house stood – beautifully manicured and maintained but seldom used.

From there, following another long and winding stair case would bring you to the beach. Cas considered walking down there. If this were his home – he would do it all the time. Even now, he thought of how nice it would feel to just roll up his pants a bit and sit on the sandy beach, smoking a joint and let the waves tickle his feet and ankles as they rolled in. But he let go of the idea immediately. It wasn’t the kind of thing his mother and father had in mind for him.

Even stepping out here for a moment had been a ‘no no’. In their eyes, it showed that there was somewhere else Cas would prefer to be than in the front room having drinks with them. He inhaled one last deep breath of cool, moist and salty air before turning back to the house. It was time to go join the rest of the paper dolls in the front room. Everyone would be saying their good-byes soon anyway.

As he moved to re-enter the main house, he saw that Anna was coming out. “Need a breath of fresh air?” he asked her.

“Yes, it’s insufferable in there isn’t it?” she agreed.

“Home sweet home” he said sarcastically as he smiled at her.

“You know,” Anna said to him, looking around to be sure they were alone, “Michaels home is nothing like this.

“How is it?” he asked her.

“Warm. Loving. They’re a family like ours has never been. I love it there.”

“Did you ever go to Deans when you guys dated?” he asked her.

“We didn’t really date Cas,” Anna said quietly, “he used me. He took me on a few dates and as soon as I let him in my pants he dropped me like a hot potato.”

Cas stared at her dumbfounded. He’d never heard her speak so plainly about her time with Dean, or anyone else for that matter. Anna was very private about these things.

“Relax,” she told her brother, “He’s not using you.”

He still had no response. He had no idea where she was going with this.

“What are his family dinners like?” she asked him.

“I would say they’re closer to Michaels than ours.” He said quietly. “Their home is very different too. It’s lovely. Full of happiness. It’s the kind of home I’d like to have someday.”

“Me too.” Confirmed Anna, “I honestly don’t even like coming here anymore.”

“I know what you mean,” he said wrapping an arm around her shoulders, “I always thought our parents were a little bit…” he searched for the right word, “constricted?”

She chuckled at his side. “Good word,” she said, “my choice of words would’ve been stronger”

They were both smiling now, with her leaning into him and breathing the sea air. “I think that I’m caring less and less about keeping up the pretenses here,” said Cas. “I’m contemplating just coming out to them and letting the chips fall where they may.” He waited and let that sink in for Anna.

“Well, if they fire you” she grinned, “it saves you from having to find a plausible reason to quit.” She giggled.

“I’m pretty sure there’s only one thing keeping me from doing it.”

“What?” she asked him.

“You.”

She was silent for a moment and looking out at the waves. “Me?”

“Yes. You. If I exit their good graces, they will forbid you to see me. I don’t think I could stand to lose you.”

“I’ve told you before Cas. You can’t lose me.”

“They can make life very difficult for you.” He told her. “Do you even know the kind of pressure they can put on people? What they can do to your life?”

“Yes. There’s nothing you know about our family that I don’t know.” She was silent for a minute, waiting for him to look at her. When he did she said, “You won’t be alone Cas. I’m with you.”

Cas was undone by her declaration. He was working to stiffen his chin and keep it from quivering.

“You’re my real family Cas.” She said hugging him.

After a moment or two in silence she asked him if he was ready to go back in. They went back to the front room together and said their good-byes to the family.

As Cas was pulling out onto Sea Cliff Avenue he considered how lucky he was to have Anna in his life and smiled knowing that no matter what he decided to do – she was with him.

The strangest thought entered his mind at that moment. Only a few short months ago he’d told John Winchester that there was no price too high to keep his lifestyle secret from his father. Now here he sat thinking he didn’t give a fuck.

 _What’s different now?_ – he wondered.

 

 

 

Sam was still laughing when he got behind the wheel. It wasn’t a happy laughter. It was an evil villain laughter. Hollow and empty and cold. He revved the engine and threw the Dodge into gear, exiting the circle drive and then hitting the gas hard when he pulled out onto the street. Who was Dean to call Sam a girl?

“You’re the girl you fucking cocksucker!” he screamed at no one. “Fuck!”

Sam was seething. There was so much that Dean was keeping from him. And what did his brother feel the need to discuss with him? Meetings at the office? What the fuck?

“Seriously!” he yelled to no one, “What the fuck!?!” he raged.

He drove aggressively through town. He didn’t head back to campus. He drove to china town. He knew he needed to calm down; get some perspective. So he pulled up outside his favorite massage parlor. The place was seedy but it had what he knew he needed. He stepped into the lobby and went straight to the counter.

“Good afternoon Miser Winchisir, what we do you today?” asked the petite little thing behind the counter in broken and thickly accented English.

“I need a massage,” he said firmly, “Is Lahn Le here?”

“No, but I call for you. You, sit. I call.” She smiled at him.

He moved to sit on one of the plastic chairs lining the wall. A moment later she was back and said to him, “She coma now. You coma too!” she laughed, “you follow me. I get you ready.” She said.

They stopped briefly at the counter where she counted his cash and put it in the safe under the counter and not into the cash register. Then, she led him down the hall to the massage rooms, opened a door and ushered him inside. “You get ready now, Lahn Le be here soon to fix you up” she said as she exited and pulled the door shut behind her.

Sam immediately stripped down and laid himself out naked on the table on his stomach. While he waited, he focused on calming himself down. If he was to be a real lawyer soon, he’d better learn to control his temper. He breathed in and out and tried to focus on nothing but his breathing. There was soon a knock at the door and he heard, “I come in?”

“Yes.” He answered. 

“I taka care of you.” She said lightly. “You no hava stress when I done”.

 

 

Dean rumbled into parking and locked up his baby. When he stepped into Cas’ condo the place was quiet as a graveyard. He moved through the living room and flopped onto the couch, turning on the T.V. There wasn’t much on. He lingered on a football game even though he didn’t care for either of the teams playing. It didn’t take long for his head to get heavy. When Cas came through the door he woke with a start.

“Did I scare you?” smiled Cas.

“Only your face. You walk around wearing that thing all day?” he teased.

“You’re girlfriend liked it enough; she sat on it” he retaliated, thumping his man on the back of the head and flopping down with him.

“How’s the fam?” asked Dean.

“Oh, I think I’d prefer a scorching case of herpes to spending another Sunday afternoon with that pack of wolves.” Grumbled Cas, “how was brunch?”

“It was good. Until I tried to talk to Sam.”

“What happened?”

“We agreed that I’d start checking in on mom. I’m going to go over there on Tuesdays and Thursdays and he’ll take either Friday or Saturday. That part was easy. He didn’t give two shits about what I’m planning at the office.” Dean complained, “And he fucking got pissy with me.  He’s been giving me the silent treatment for weeks now and when I asked him why he was mad… he said that if I didn’t know then he wasn’t going to tell me.”

“Wow,” said Cas chuckling, “that sounds like something a chick would say.”

“That’s what I said!” Dean was getting animated.

“Then what?” prodded Cas.

“I called him a girl. He laughed at me and walked out.”

“Productive.” Said Cas.

“That was my thought,” Dean lamented, dropping his head into Cas’ lap in defeat.

Cas ran his fingers through Deans hair and said, “Hey, don’t let it get to you. He’s grieving too. You guys are both a little tender right now.”

“Yeah, you’re right Cas. Just because I’m feeling like talking for the first time in months doesn’t mean he’s gonna feel the same way on the same day. What do you think I should do?”

“I don’t know man,” said Cas, shrugging. “Probably just give him some space. Maybe once he’s had a little time to think about things he might come to you?”

“You’re probably right Cas.”

They hunkered down comfortably to watch the game. “Packers?” Cas asked. 

“Yep, down by six.”

They stayed on the couch under the pretense of watching the Packers lose to the Bears. But it became a nap. One that was much needed by both of them.

 

 

 

Sam let himself relax as he felt Lahn Le’s experienced hands on him. She began with his upper body and and worked her way down, pushing the tension out of him with her palms. She moved along his muscle groups with increasing pressure and kneaded his troubles away. She paid special attention to his extremities, rolling his fingers between hers and pulling them firmly to loosen the joints without him cracking his knuckles. Then she moved back up his arms with nimble fingers, bringing tingles to the surface. As she progressed lower down his back, he found himself letting go. It never took long under her capable hands.

She pressed firmly into his glutes and increased the pressure slowly as she moved lower until she was gripping his cheeks with both hands. He felt his breathing start to speed up, because he knew what she’d do next.

He felt her hands clamp down on his cheeks and pull them apart and her warm wet tongue slide between them. His body tensed with excitement at her comfortable touch on his most secret and forbidden area. He loved it, and without meaning to, he exhaled a moan for her before he relaxed into it.

She tongued at his puckered hole for a while but never pushed into it. Her pace slowed a little and her licks became longer – running up and down the full length of his crack. She lifted her head and pulled three fingers down where she’d just been licking. She pressed firmly with them up and back a few times before she transitioned into rubbing circles into his butt cheeks firmly with her palms. Next she moved on to massaging his hamstring muscles and working down his legs. She lifted each foot from the table and held it against her as she worked it over carefully – paying the same attention to his toes that she had to his fingers.

As she worked her way back up his body she increased the pressure – digging into his muscles and really working them over. When she’d returned to her starting point and was standing by his head, she gentled her strokes and worked up his neck skillfully, her touch bringing tingles to the surface of his scalp as she pulled her digits artfully across it and even scratched a little with her nails. It was wonderful. He couldn’t keep his eyes open.

When she’d finished she leaned in and whispered for him to roll over, and when he’d re-arranged himself she stood over him and set to work on his shoulders again, gently, and soon her palms were sliding down over his pectorals.

When she opened her mouth on his nipple he sucked in a deep breath. She knew just how to do it. She gave an open mouth kiss first, letting him experience the warm wet slide of her tongue as it circled slowly around the bud. Then she increased the pressure and began to suck his nub into her mouth enthusiastically. She rolled it in her mouth skillfully bringing shivers to skin and waking up his slumbering cock.

When she moved to his other nipple, she covered the first with her palm, just keeping it warm. When she released his nipple she glanced at his dick which had been filling a little as she worked on him. Her palms were resting on his nipples and she worked them in circles, progressively applying more pressure, just like she’d done with his butt cheeks. Then she trailed her fingers lightly down his abdomen, gliding over his hips and down to his thighs where she dug in again and worked his muscles deeply. She applied medium pressure to his knees as she worked down over them and lower towards his feet.

Again she pulled each of his feet up to her chest and braced them while she worked on his dorsals, his arches and his toes. But this time, she pulled his toes into her mouth. It was exquisite. His cock filled completely while she licked and sucked on his toes – it was so sensual. When his feet were again resting on the table she moved her hands artfully back up his legs, massaging as she went, and slowly spreading them apart. When she’d reached the apex of the “V” between his legs, she pressed both thumbs gently onto his perineum and circled them artfully as she worked upwards - one hand on either side of his balls. Her hands were warm and firm, with fingers skillfully sliding down into his crack to tease his hole again and then kneading upwards towards his balls, bringing waves of pleasure upward from back to front. As her hands slowly worked closer to his dick, he felt the pleasure begin to spread out in ripples over his entire body. Finally, finally she took him into her mouth and his back arched up off the table as he thrust up into her.

It was probably considered rude to put his hand on her head, but he did anyway. He couldn’t restrain himself. She worked her tongue in circles around the head and slowly pressed lower and lower.

The amazing thing about Lahn Le was that she was one of the few who had ever been able to focus on sucking his dick while still moving her hands with any kind of purpose. Even though she was working his cock fully with her mouth, her hands were still working rhythmically, alternating between his hole and his balls and everything in between.

Sam was panting now and feeling the rush. She obviously knew he was close because she pressed lower still, opening the back of her throat and pushing down to envelop him almost all the way. Her throat was tight on his tip and he couldn’t hold back the moans anymore, he was getting close.

His pulse was pounding in his ears and he felt his dick swell impossibly larger as his body prepared to release. He drew in a ragged breath and cried out shamelessly as his orgasm raced forward and the wall of pleasure slammed into him, knocking his breath right out of him.

Sam heaved into her, clutching her head like a vice grip and shooting his load down the back of her throat.

Lahn Le was a little pixie, so small and delicate. But she took his rough hands like a champ and swallowed everything he pumped into her and licked him clean. As he floated slowly back down from the high, he reveled in her hands which were now working his shoulders and arms again, bringing relaxation to the muscles that had all tensed fully just moments ago. She whispered for him to roll over again and gave his back and glutes the same relaxing treatment.

When he was hovering on the brink of sleep, she told him he could get dressed now and wished him well. The door clicked shut as she left him.

With a warm contentment in his stomach, he pulled on his clothes and exited, leaving an extra $50 in the tip envelope by the door. Lahn Le was incredible.

As he walked to his car he found himself smiling and whistling a happy tune. Then as he entered the expressway to head back to campus, he found himself thinking about Dean again.

This time, he wasn’t focused on his anger in the present. He was thinking back to their childhood, of playing outside in the late afternoon sunshine. That was a special time of day, when everything was tinged in the golden glow of a sun that will set too soon. Their laughter as they’d ran and played echoed in his mind and the nostalgia for that era washed over him.

Childhood. It was a time of blissful ignorance to the harshness of adult life.  He’d heard it said that ‘childhood is the kingdom in which nobody dies’. Now, he understood what that meant. Once you’d really lost someone… that carefree part of you that played whole-heartedly? It died with them.

So, if you lost someone as a child - like a parent? You’re childhood ended with that loss and you would never be the same. Your life would forever be divided into two parts – before that death and after it.

If you were one of the lucky ones to not lose someone until you were an adult? Then you realized in retrospect how delightful the world of your childhood had been. And you’d pine for it. You’d want to feel it again - that security of a world that doesn’t hold the unimaginable losses that you now know.

And you’d give anything to have your innocence back, to feel that warm glow again, even for a moment.

 

 

 

Cas was starting to wake up. He had to piss. The TV was too loud. Dean was snoring. His chest was sweating under Deans weight. He opened his eyes and looked around.

It was dark. The TV was playing some lame sitcom with laugh track. Dean looked peaceful, tucked against his chest. He reached up and rested his hand on the back of his man’s head and enjoyed their closeness for a moment before shifting to get up.

As he extricated his limbs from Deans he pushed a pillow under the man’s head which he snuggled into as Cas stepped away from him.

Cas moved silently through his place on bare feet. He opened the fridge and considered what to have for dinner. Nothing really seemed appealing so he let the door close and moved through the bedroom and into the bathroom. He clicked on the light and put his phone into the dock on the counter, bringing up a playlist. He started the shower and turned to the sink to brush his teeth.

He climbed into the shower and started to perk up as a fast song began to play. This was an old favorite by The Fratellis so it didn’t take long for Cas to be singing along…

 

_Well, look out Sunshine, here they go-_

_We’ve got yesterday’s heros in last nights clothes!_

_You’re a game, oh boy, judging by the way you walk._

_Well there’s no use telling me to leave,_

_I’ve seen a half a dozen ghosts and I don’t believe._

_I’m a cynical cunt and I’m much too lazy to change!_

_So, tell my friends – I’ll be around_

_Gettin’ nowhere – sleepin’ somewhere_

_With a girl I dreamed up – Yeah!_

 

Cas had loved this band since he’d first heard them with Balthazar. Zar had introduced him to lots of things from his native England. The food sucked. The music was awesome.

Cas’ mind focused on Zar for a minute. He remembered the night he’d cried over Dean and Zar had brought him pills. He’d been so distraught at the time that he’d barely noticed the tender way that his friend had looked at him. The man had confessed to crying over Cas the same way Cas was crying over Dean. It touched his heart a little to think of it now.

Zar had a big heart. And a big dick. And a big attitude. Hell, the man had a big life. He filled up a room the moment he walked into it. He was alive in a way that most people weren’t and they gravitated toward him – guys, girls, it didn’t matter. They all wanted to be near him. Cas had been under that spell for quite a while.

The thing that had initially drawn him to Zar was his energy. (Although the sexy accent didn’t hurt either.) The thing that kept him with Zar had been his heart. It came through in everything he said and did. He was just so full of life and love for everyone. But therein also lay the problem for Cas. Zar was full of love for everyone. Cas wasn’t so free. Cas wanted exclusivity. That had never been a word Zar understood. Cas sighed thinking about the man but then easily dismissed his thoughts when the song changed. This one was slower and as he toweled off, he hummed along with it…

 

_Baby Doll, Do you believe they’ll catch you when you fall?_

_When morning comes, the sun is gonna shine._

_Don’t forget, your minor keys and half lit cigarette,_

_Cause when morning comes, god knows that you’ll be mine!_

_So let me in, I’m ready to beg and to plead for my sins_

_Not leave it to chance or sweet coincidence_

_Casue that’s just crazy, and you know it’s true!_

Cas continued to hum along as he moved out into the bedroom and threw on some soft flannel sleep pants and checked the closet for something to wear to work tomorrow. Once he’d set his things out, he went back to the bathroom to shut of the music and grab his stash. The song was over anyway and he moved the phone to a charger on the nightstand and set his alarm for the morning.

It was just after 7. He considered waking up Dean, so the man wouldn’t sleep too long and then not be able to sleep through the night. Then he caught himself.

 _I’m not his nurse_ – he thought to remind himself. 

He moved over to the record player and chose an album. The Beatles. No matter what mood he’s in, the Beatles are perfect. This is some Brit rock that he loved before he even knew Zar. He pulled out ‘Beatlemania!’ and laid it on the turntable, gently laying the needle on the record. The room swelled with ‘It Won’t Be Long’.

Cas settled in on the bed and opened the cigar box, losing himself in the manual labor of rolling a few joints while he sang along to the music. He’d rolled five when the song changed again. He made a mental note that he was officially low on weed now, put one between his lips and tucked everything else back in the box and put it away.

Cas was singing along to ‘All My Loving’ enthusiastically when Dean sauntered in. They exchanged a smile but Cas didn’t stop singing, just moved closer to Dean who wrapped his arms around Cas’ waist and pressed close for a moment, before starting to undress.

Soon Dean was singing along too as he pulled on his own sleep pants and moved to drop his dirty clothes into the laundry basket. The song was over too soon.

“It’s late” commented Dean. “I slept through dinner. Did you eat?”

“Wasn’t hungry,” Cas replied.

“Well,” said Dean with a coy smile, gesturing to the joint in Cas’ hand, “Let’s light that thing and you will be soon.”

Cas smiled back at Dean and settled onto the bed, lighting up. Dean sprawled across the bed at his feet and looked up at him waiting for Cas to pass to him. They relaxed there for a while, just enjoying the music.

When Cas jumped up from the bed and headed for the door, Dean asked where he was going.

“I’m hungry now.” He said grinning and left Dean with the smoke and the music in the soft lamplight of Cas’ comfortable bedroom.

Dean’s mind wandered for a few minutes, and soon Cas was back.

“Pick one” he said throwing a bunch of take away menus toward him.

Dean handed Cas the joint and began looking through the pile. When Cas tried to pass it back to him, he waved it off.

“Let’s do this one.” He said, handing Cas a brochure.

Cas glanced at it. Souvla. He smiled. “What do you want?”

“What’s good?”

“Everything I’ve had.” Cas sighed, “but I’ve never tried anything with lamb. I don’t want to. They’re too cute to eat.”

“That’s just precious” Dean said teasingly, touching his thumb to the man’s chin “I’m gonna go with pork. Not cute at all. Can you just order for me? I don’t care about the details.”

“Sure,” said Cas reaching for his phone on the nightstand. He ordered the pork for Dean and chicken for himself both with juicy potatoes and added a chicken salad too in case they wanted to share it. It took a while for the food to be delivered and Cas’ mouth was watering for it.

He got up to turn over the record and while he was doing that, Dean said, “Hey Cas?”

“Yeah?”

“Take me to the record store with you sometime?”

“Sure,” Cas glanced back at Dean who was stretched comfortably across his bed, “you looking for something specific?”

“Yeah, wanted to get you some Johnny Cash. Meant to do it a long time ago but…” his voice trailed off not wanting to mention anything related to Johns death.

“We’ll get there soon. Maybe I’ll quit my job tomorrow and we can spend the entire day there” joked Cas.

“Don’t do it on my account,” laughed Dean, “I’ve got a big day tomorrow. I wouldn’t even be able to joint you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” chuckled Cas as he flopped back on the bed with Dean, “that would take much bigger balls than I’ve got. I’m just waiting for them to kick me to the curb. It’s pathetic.”

Dean reached out and cupped him firmly, “they feel plenty big to me – maybe you should stop waiting for them to act so that you can react. Maybe you should ask yourself how you’d like your last day at the office to go – and then make it happen like that.”

Cas looked intently at Dean who was still holding his nuts firmly, “You sounded just like Anna when you said that.”

“Good. Chick has balls.” Smiled Dean.

Just as a smile broke over Cas, he heard the intercom. He bolted to the door and buzzed up their dinner. He made sure to give a great tip since the man had to take the time to wait for an elevator and his intercom before he got paid.

The food smelled amazing as Cas headed to the bedroom with it. He wrestled the bags onto the bed and the boys began digging through it.

“Cool” said Dean as he pulled the Greek cherry sodas out.

They were quiet while they ate, enjoying it all. Cas leaned back on his pillows and after a while Dean began cleaning up the mess of trash and leftovers from the bed. Cas listened to the Dean knocking around in his kitchen. The record had ended while they were eating and Cas turned to his nightstand and pulled out his book. He was reading Pet Cemetery. It was by far the most suspenseful of the King books he’d read so far. He was enjoying it immensely.

“What were you reading before you discovered Stephen King?” Dean asked walking back into the room.

“Tom Clancy. You ever read any?”

“Nope. What’s the genre?”

“Spies and intrigue I guess” said Cas putting down his book to give Dean his attention. “Why are you just standing there?” he asked.

“Well, I was wondering if you’d mind me digging through the box?” he asked quietly, “It’s been so long since I’ve been here that I kind of forgot about it. Now that I’ve remembered it’s all I can think of.”

“Sure,” laughed Cas, “but let me read for a while. I’m too full to put much effort into anything right now”

Dean chuckled at him and then went to the closet to pull it out.

Just as Cas was settling back into his book he heard, “Hey Cas?”

“Yes?” Cas didn’t mean to be short but he never did like being interrupted when he was reading. But, when he saw the look on Deans face he let it go.

“What?” he asked sitting up straighter.

“This box still has Anna’s name on it.” He said. “That was so funny to me when I first saw it… but now…”

“Well,” reasoned Cas, “she’d likely be the one here to clear out my place if I actually died…” the room was instantly heavy. Cas wished he’d kept his mouth shut. It was such an insensitive thing to say and he didn’t know how to back paddle. His words hung in the space between the men until Dean broke the awkward silence.

“Would she?” he asked, “even now?”

Cas didn’t answer. He wasn’t sure what Dean was really getting at.

“Wouldn’t it be me? Shouldn’t this box have my name on it?”

 _Interesting question_ – thought Cas.

Deep inside Cas knew the answer without even thinking. No.

As part of his efforts at self-perseveration he was instantly opposed to Marking Deans presence in his life with anything so permanent as a sharpie marker.

It would be one more thing that he’d have to do when Dean finally got bored and split. (Aside from packing up all the man’s shit that was scattered around his place and retrieving his items from Deans place - which would be bad enough)

He’d have to go to this box of deeply personal items and move them to a new box, remembering how he’d used them with Dean and then re-write his sisters name on it along with his wording on the lid that requested she throw it away without looking inside.

Changing that box from Dean back to Anna would cut him like a knife. No. He couldn’t let Dean put his name on that box. He could NOT give Dean any ownership over the box. The box belonged to Cas and in the event of his demise it would be cleared by Anna.

“Of all the things to think about, Winchester” he chided the man, stalling.

“I mean it Cas. I’m your person now, right? Your emergency contact? Keeper of the box? That’s me, isn’t it?”

Cas had a lump stuck in his throat. Something was being offered to him here. But he couldn’t take it. Just couldn’t.

But, practicality and compromise swooped into his mind. And rather than let this become a ‘thing’ between them, he opted for humor as a deflection, saving the fall-out for another day.

“Tell you what Dean,” said Cas, forcing a smile, “when you’ve purchased an item and placed it in the box – you can put your name on it.”

The tension in Dean’s shoulders immediately faded and he gave Cas a winning smile. “Oh the possibilities,” he said with a dirty look on his face. “When I add something to this box, I’m throwing away the alien probing device.” He laughed.

“Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it,” baited Cas.

 _Crisis averted_ – thought Cas. They were back to normal.


	5. Don't Break Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was too excited to post chapter five. So I'm posting a short part of five and I'll just throw the rest of five into chapter six (which probably wont be done til the end of the week). But I guess I just couldn't stand the wait!

“This?” Dean laughed, holding up the ‘alien probing device’ as he’d named it. “You want me to try this?”

“I only said don’t knock it til you’ve tried it.” He laughed, “You can try it and then make fun of it if you want. Or, you can put it back in the box and shut the fuck up about it.” Cas joked, “up to you.”

Dean looked at the wand in his hand. It looked like anal beads on a skewer with a handle. “Have you used this?” he asked innocently.

“Of course, Dean. You pulled that out of a box in my closet – not the display cabinet at Barneys.”

“You know what?” asked Dean, dropping the alien probing device back in the box, “I don’t think I want to pick anything from the box.”

Cas glanced up at Dean who held his gaze. “Did I suck the fun out of it for you?” he asked pitifully, “am I a fun sucker?”

“No,” said dean thoughtfully, “I’m just thinking that it might be more fun to be surprised.” He smiled expectantly at Cas as he circled the bed and crawled in on the other side, dropping his sleep pants to the floor as he tucked into the soft covers. “I’m not gonna look,” he said, “Why don’t YOU choose something from the box and do what you want to with it?” He said with a wink and a nod. “Surprise me.”

Cas couldn’t move. He just gaped at Dean as the man turned away from him.

With his back to Cas, curled up on his side, Dean tried to keep his breathing even. He’d been going for confident and clever when he’d winked at Cas. But inside he was jello. He couldn’t stop smiling as he laid there quivering with anticipation.

It was exquisite torture to wait. To not look. To wonder what Cas would choose from the box, and how he would use it. His ears searched the silence of Cas’ room, straining to hear any indication of what he was doing.

It felt like forever before the bed moved under Cas’ shifting weight.

 _Finally_ thought Dean.

Cas abandoned his book and moved to the box. He peered over the edge slowly. What to do, what to do? Clearly Dean was up for anything. He hadn’t placed any restrictions on what Cas could take from the box. He hadn’t even removed any items from the box to keep Cas from choosing.

Slowly, from his toes all the way up his legs, crept a feeling of giddiness. It settled in his chest. Cas felt like a kid at Christmas. Visions of sugar plumbs danced in his head.

He reached out carefully and picked up the black leather restraints. Images flooded his mind, scenarios of positions for Dean to be confined to and things he could do the man while he was immobile. His other hand grazed over the crop and the paddle. He wondered if Dean would ever spank him. His dick twitched in his soft pants at the thought.

His hand continued to touch items in the box, considering each and how best to use them. Cas glanced at Dean. The man was laying there calmly (or giving a good impression of it) waiting patiently for Cas.

Fuck. He’d never had anyone give him this much control of a sexual encounter before. It was almost overwhelming to have so many choices and such a small amount of time to ponder which would be the most satisfying.

Stalling for time, he moved over to the record player to put on an album. The turntable was in Dean’s line of sight, so Cas made sure to keep the leather restraint in his hand while he walked over there. Let Dean see it.

Cas pulled down an awesome record to set the mood. Something with a gritty, dirty guitar sound that would capture the sexy mood Dean had set. The Black Keys, ‘Rubber Factory’.

He put the leather wrist cuffs between his teeth as he used both hands to remove the record from its sheath. He could feel Dean’s eyes resting heavily on his back. He laid the needle on the record and adjusted the volume. The drum beats from the first song were sounding out as he strode back over to the bed, confident now. This was excellent music for fucking.

He moved to the box and pulled out a vibrator. Not a huge one, just a little bigger than the last one he’d used on Dean. He put the toys and lube down by his own pillow and dropped the box to the floor near the closet, lit a candle and turned off the lamp.

Cas stood still for a moment, taking a deep breath. Then he moved onto the bed and crawled up behind Dean, settling in as the big spoon. As he snaked an arm around Deans waist he pressed his mouth to the man’s ear softly and whispered, “Damn it Winchester, you know how to make a man loose his shit don’t you.”

Dean didn’t answer, just tipped his head back enough to bring his lips up and meet Castiels. They held the touch of lips for a brief moment before Cas slid his hand up to Deans nipple and began teasing at it, gliding his palm over it. He moved his lips down his friend’s neck and let his tongue trail a line back up again. When he was back at Deans ear he sucked on the lobe gently and ran his teeth gently over it and whispered, “God you are so fucking sexy,” He pulled the covers slowly down – exposing his lover inch by precious inch. Oh those thighs. Cas slid down behind Dean to run his tongue down over the man’s flank and then back up, all the way to his hip bone.

Dean groaned and stretched and Cas sat up, laying his hands gently on Dean and guiding him up to a sitting position. He reached behind his back to his pillow and took the restraints in hand. He moved them slowly into Deans field of vision. Then, watching Deans face carefully, he moved to take Deans wrist. The man sat quietly watching intently as Cas gently bound his wrists into the black leather wrist cuffs. There was about 12 inches of slack between the wrists and Dean shivered when Cas slipped two fingers inside the restraints to be sure they weren’t too tight. Their eyes met again as Cas rose up onto his knees and assisted Dean in doing the same. Dean let himself be gently pivoted around to face the headboard. That’s where Cas tied him down, running the tie strap between spindles and over the top.

Dean saw that he had enough leeway to move his hands a little and it was obvious that he was meant to hold onto the headboard. He moved his knees closer to the head board to get comfortable and took a deep breath. Cas’ calm demeanor was reassuring, and Dean was still. But inside his heart was galloping like a racehorse and he could already feel his stomach clenching and unclenching with nerves. The feeling was reminiscent of how he’d felt as a kid when waiting to on a rollercoaster. Equal measures of excitement and fear. It was overwhelming.

Dean felt Cas moving behind him but didn’t turn his head. He opted instead to focus on the drip of sweat that was trickling down his brow. He leaned in and dropped his head onto his forearm to wipe it away. As he raised his head he felt Cas’ arms circle his waist. Then, Cas’ deep and husky voice was at his ear again.

“Do you want to know a secret fantasy of mine?” Cas asked him.

“Yes.”

“I think about it a lot.”

“Tell me.”

“Dean, I get hard every time I think about this. I even got off in the shower once thinking about it.”

“Cas, tell me.”

“Next time you’re frustrated with me…” Cas trailed off.

“Yeah?” Dean prodded.

“You have my permission to bend me over and spank me. Hard.”

Dean moaned low and dirty just hearing the words.

“I mean it Dean.” Cas growled against his ear, “When I think about you, forcing me down I get so fucking hard for you. I imagine your open hand turning my cheeks pink and I swear man, I just about come in pants.”

“Fuck Cas. That’s so fuckin hot.”

Cas was close behind Dean now, a hand on each hip, his chest pressed to Deans back. His lips at Deans ear. “Dean.”

“Cas.”

With that, Cas licked a long, fast stripe all the way down Deans back to his ass crack.

This elicited another dirty moan from his man. He pulled his hands back from Deans hips to his butt, and took a handful of each cheek – spreading them wide – and then he sunk in. He moved his hands so that he was still holding cheeks open but now his thumbs were able to rub his man’s perineum as he tongued him.

Dean was enthralled. He was on his knees, gripping the headboard tightly. His eyes were open and looking at his bound wrists until he felt that warm wet tongue start rolling over his puckered entrance.

“Fuck, Cas!” he barked and pressed back into the man’s mouth wantonly.

Cas mouth was watering as he pressed deeper into hot tightness and when he finally backed off a little it was to work his teeth softly around the gathered skin at the entrance – pulling deep breaths and moans from Dean as he nibbled circles around the hole. Cas had been licking and sliding around so feverishly that his man was wet from cheek to check and he hadn’t even opened any lube yet.

Dean was leaning forward all the way now, resting his forehead on the backs of his hands where they gripped the headboard.

Cas reached over for the lube and vibrator and he saw Deans head raise a bit as he heard the snap of the flip-top cap. He cupped his hand and squeezed to fill it up, eyes never leaving the apex of his desire – the dark wet center of Dean. He would be sliding in there soon and his dick moved upward, almost stretching in its eagerness to push in.

Cas watched as his own fingers reached for it and slid over it gently, up and down a few times before teasing his middle finger inside. As Cas pushed his finger in gently, he could feel the tightness all the way down to his cock. Dean sucked in ragged breath and Cas turned on the toy.

Dean’s hips thrust back and his legs spread apart for it. Clearly the man remembered how much he’d enjoyed this last time. But Cas didn’t rush. He moved up Dean’s inner thigh teasingly and then back down, letting Dean pant for it. He turned the speed up and the toy buzzed louder, audible over the music which was rugged and dirty. As he teased Dean with slow movements of the toy in his right hand, his left was still working Dean’s hole and he’d added another finger.

Dean was rocking back into Cas in time with the music and little beads of sweat her starting to form at the base of the man’s spine. Both of them were breathing heavily and as Cas finally guided the buzzing toy over his lovers entrance. Dean cried out, “Cas!”

Instead of answering Cas pushed the toy up to its top speed. It was vibrating so powerfully that Cas’ hand was going numb from holding it. He pressed it, firmly, to Dean’s entrance and leaned forward to speak in his lover’s ear again.

“Dean”

“Cas, man, I can’t take anymore. Touch me!” He shouted.

Cas couldn’t deny him. He reached out with his cupped hand full of lube and wrapped it around Dean’s shaft firmly giving the man several long smooth and heavy handed pulls before stopping to hold Dean tightly in his stilled hand.

Dean couldn’t take it anymore. Being trussed up to the headboard and having Cas’ tongue work him over had really gotten him going. But now, with a firm hand on his weeping cock and a strong vibration at his backside poised and ready to sink in; he was so far beyond ready.

The buzzing toy was pulling tingles from all over his body to that one spot and he could feel his lovers powerful presence behind him, crouched and waiting.

“Put it in Cas, I want it.”

“You want me to fuck you with this?”

“I do, I want it Cas. Push it in me” he said arching his back and pressing himself back towards the promise of more stimulation.

Cas obeyed Dean. He pushed firmly and it slid in gracefully. Once it was inside he moved his end of it in large circles – using the angle to open his man up even further.

A cry of pleasure ripped out over the heavy, driving music as Cas thrust it forward over his sweet spot.

“Oh Dean. I want you so much.” He said loudly and dropping his forehead to Deans back.

“Take me then.” Dean said firmly.

“Oh Dean.” Cas exhaled. He lifted his head and pulled the toy out unceremoniously casting it aside. He’d waited so long for this moment. Now it was happening. He watched his throbbing, needy cock press forward into Dean.

Cas wasn’t even halfway in when he had to close his eyes. He was overwhelmed with sensation. It had been so long since he’d fucked. So long since he’d felt that tightness crushing down on him, constricting on his cock and squeezing him beyond his limits. He had to stop and breathe a little. Dean seemed to need it too.  He balanced there for a long moment. Not moving out or going any deeper. All of his focus was on just breathing and not coming undone.

Cas would never admit it out loud but he was having to think of school lunch ladies with hairy moles and swollen ankles just to keep from blowing his load on the first push. He panted breath on Deans back and tried to push words out with each exhalation. “I waited. So. Long.” He choked out, not even knowing if he was being heard over the music, “So. Long. For you.”

Dean swiveled his head around trying to see Cas who was hunched over his back and breathing heavy.

“Cas,” he breathed, “I know.”

“Dean.” he’d said the man’s name but couldn’t remember what he’d wanted to say. He took a deep breath and moved forward again pressing deeper into Dean and finally bottoming out. He stopped again, this time waiting for Dean to adjust.

Dean felt more alive than he’d ever felt in his life. His body was a live-wire, buzzing with feverish passion. His heart was pounding and he felt so full. There was nowhere that wasn’t Cas. The man’s presence was all around him, filling his senses and pushing more and more of himself into Dean.

Every inch that Cas moved forward Dean felt like that was it… all he could possibly take. There was no way that any more was going to fit inside of him. But then Cas would push and Deans body would find a way to allow the man deeper.

When Dean felt the warmth of his lovers body flush against his ass, he knew that Cas had finally sunk all the way in. Dean was panting fast and hard and loud. On some level he was aware of music still playing, but all he could hear was their breathing – both of them ragged with exertion and excitement.

Dean could feel his erection swaying beneath him, hard and heavy. He couldn’t remember a time in all his life when he’d felt so much sensation at once. He appreciated that Cas was waiting for him to calm down before starting to move. But it was pointless. Dean wasn’t going to be able to calm down.

So he said, “I’m good Cas.”

Cas took a deep breath and pulled back from Dean, just a few inches and then slid back in slowly. Dean’s hole was tight like a vice grip but it was so wet with spit and lube that it was slippery. Feeling the ease of the slide Cas began to really move. He worked up a rhythm and was giving Dean nice, long, even thrusts.

He wasn’t fucking in hard, just rolling his hips and enjoying the feel of moving in his lover. He wanted Dean to enjoy this. He opened his eyes and looked down at the man beneath him. Dean’s back was arched in pleasure. His hands still gripped the headboard but he was using it for leverage and pushing back at Cas with enough strength to force the muscles on his arms to flex.

Sweet lord this man was an incredible sight. He watched, mesmerized, as Dean bowed and flexed beneath him. And soon he grew tired of fighting the inevitable. “Can’t last.” He said to Dean.

“Can you touch me?” Dean panted to him.

Cas reached forward and took Dean back into his hand, working Deans hard and heavy cock in time with his thrusts, which were timed to the music.

Swirling storms of pleasure moved through Dean’s body with an intensity he’d never known. There was only one thought in his head. More. That one word - over and over with maddening ferocity. More, more, more! Dean couldn’t keep quiet. He cried out for his lover -

Cas! Cas!” he heaved against the restraints and then it was over for Dean, he pulsed warm and wet as Cas continued to work his cock through the orgasm.

It was barely a moment later that Cas felt the end descend on him. His dick felt thick and heavy and his balls were drawing up tight. There were waves of pleasure rolling downward and coming faster and stronger and then he was poised on the edge.

He couldn’t even open his eyes. He just cried out and let his body go. He flopped forward onto Deans back, panting. He tried to force himself to bear his own weight and not rest on his friend, but his limbs were useless.

They were both completely spent but Cas moved forward clumsily and began unbuckling Deans restraints. Once the man was free they dropped to the pillows with a grunt.  Cas thought of the likely mess on Deans pillows about a half second too late and heard the man groan. Cas grabbed the offending pillow and flung it on the floor, handing Dean one of his. They settled down into the bed then, both staring up at the ceiling comfortably.

It took a long time to come down and when he had, Dean realized that the room was quiet. Mostly. There was a strange sound he couldn't put his finger on. The record was over... so what was that humming noise?

"What is that noise, Cas?"

"Huh?"

"You don't hear that?" Dean asked him leaning forward to listen.

"No, I..." Cas froze for a second and then huffed a laugh as he swung legs over the edge of the bed and ducked down to look under it. "Come on," he growled, "where are you, little bastard!" he pulled up sheets and blankets, laughing. Suddenly the noise got VERY loud. It sounded like... 

"There it is!" crowed Cas as he retreived the vibrator they'd used- he pulled it out from the under the tangle of blankets at the foot of the bed. It was still buzzing away on the high setting and seemed incredibly loud now that the room was quiet. Cas turned it off and dropped it to the floor before crawling back in bed with Dean, both men chuckling about it.

Dean glanced up over his head and saw the restraints still dangling from the headboard. Wow.

So that was it. His first time. He’d been taken. Like a virgin on prom night.

Now that it had happened, Dean wasn’t sure why he’d been opposed to it for so long. Perhaps he’d had reservations on the grounds that it would make him feel effeminate; but it hadn’t. There was nothing feminine about what they’d just done.  It had been rough, a little painful even. And hot. So hot.

Besides, he’d been fucking Cas for well over a year now. Had he ever once looked at Cas while they were having sex and considered him to be feminine? Definitely not. Cas was all man.

Dean could see now that he’d had nothing to fear. Being on the bottom didn’t make him feminine. It wasn’t demeaning. And, it had felt amazing. Tingling warmth gathered in his stomach just thinking about it again. He had loved feeling Cas’ powerful thrusts. He had loved feeling so desired by his lover, feeling every inch of Cas all the way to his core and flexing against the restraint.

 “Are you ok?” Cas asked him, interrupting his contemplation.

“Yeah man. I’m good.” He said, turning toward Cas, “You made it good.”

He felt Cas’ breath at his ear, and his husky gravelly voice was almost a whisper. “You were incredible. I almost forgot it was your first time.”

Dean smiled warmly, “What was your first time like Cas?”

The man went rigid and said, “It was horrible,” and then added flatly, “I’d rather not discuss it.”

Dean felt an icy chill at the implications in his friend’s words. He longed to change the subject, find a distraction to bring Cas’ mind away from his terrible memory and back to the warmth of their afterglow. He searched his mind for a diversion. Something… anything…

“Hey Cas,” he said lightly, “Did I ever tell you about the first time I sucked dick?”

“No.” he said, tilting his head up from the pillow to look at Dean, “Tell me,” he said smiling.

“Well,” began Dean, “There was this guy, the man was a fucking wizard at giving head. Best fucking blowjobs I’ve ever had. A blowjob from this guy was better than half the fucks I ever had – easy.”

“Do you want me to give him a call for you Dean?” interrupted Cas jealously.

Dean couldn’t help but laugh, “Do you want to hear my story or not man?”

“Ok. Tell it.” Then he added quickly, “But skip the adorations of another man’s ability to blow your mind. I have an ego to protect you know.”

Dean chuckled lightly and went on, “Yeah ok. Well, let’s just say he was good ok? We hadn’t been seeing each other long and he’d polished my knob enough that I was starting to feel bad for having never repaid him the favor. I wanted to tell him that I’d never done it before and ask him not to judge. But there was just no way to say that without sounding like a chump.”

“So,” Dean continued, “I just decided to go for it. I spread him out on the bed and started with kissing him. That was always the easy part. He had a mouth made for sin.” Dean saw Cas’ eyes reflect hurt, clearly affected by his praise of another lover. But he continued on anyway, “I started working my way down, you know: nipples, stomach and hipbones. Dude had a set of hips that made me want to cream in my pants.” Laughed Dean, pretending not to notice the brief hurt that flashed again on Cas’ face.

“But,” Dean continued, “the closer I got to his junk, the more nervous I got. I wasn’t sure if I was gonna be able to do it. It’s not easy putting a dick in your mouth for the first time,” said Dean – winking at Cas, “and his was big too. I wasn’t sure where to even start. I was literally holding my mouth over it and trying to force myself to put it in, but I couldn’t make myself do it. I even tried counting to three and still couldn’t make myself do it.”

Dean was fully laughing now, illustrating the story with facial expressions that had Cas was starting to chuckle along with him. “So after counting failed me, I tried just backing off and coming at it from another angle. I made like I was kissing down his leg and then back up again. I got to the inner thigh and couldn’t seem to get any closer. I tried again and again,” Dean laughed, “to force myself to put that huge cock in my mouth, and just couldn’t fuckin do it!”

“I’m pretty sure he was dying by this time – cause I’d been trying for a while. But he was patient. He waited for me.”

Dean sat up now, animated by the telling of his story. Cas was watching him with interest but obviously not enjoying hearing such intimate details about a former lover of Deans. “He never grabbed my head or forced me down. An asshole like me might’ve done that. But he didn’t. He just waited for me. I gave up on trying to put the whole thing in my mouth.

Instead, I tried to just touch my tongue to it.” Dean was laughing again, “I was able to do that, at least. So I started licking this guy – he must’ve thought I was insane! I couldn’t even do big licks, I could barely even keep the tip of my tongue on it. Dude probably felt like a smurf was licking his dick!” Dean had laughed himself to tears telling the story and Cas was fully laughing along now too.

“He never got frustrated. If he did, he didn’t show it. He just laid down with me,” said Dean quietly, “he put his mouth on me and licked me the same way. It was the kindest and most accepting thing he could’ve done. His patience paid off in the end. I found my courage, took the plunge. It didn’t take long for me to get into it, enjoy it.”

Cas sat straight up and stared at Dean, the story taking on new meaning for him as he remembered the evening Dean was talking about. It had been early in their relationship. Dean had come over to watch a movie. They’d made out after… moved to the bed… sixty-nine… kitten licks...

That had been a very sensual experience for Cas. He’d had no idea that it was Deans first dick sucking. At the time, he’d just thought Dean was teasing him and drawing it out.

Cas’ heart swelled with all the praise Dean had indirectly given him while telling his story. Dean had given some pretty heavy accolades to the man in his story, and the man in the story was Cas.

They were both sitting up and facing each other now, the laughter had worn off. Dean looked at Cas with unabashed affection and Cas had never been more certain of Deans feelings for him – or his for Dean.

 _Fuck self-preservation –_ he thought.

Fuck being ready for the moment that this man broke his heart. It had been foolish to think he could protect himself from this.

Here, now, with everything he had, Castiel abandoned the last of his fear. He would give his whole self to this man for the rest of his life, without a doubt.

Cas was certain now; he’d either spend the rest of his life with Dean or he’d spend the rest of his life alone - remembering the love he’d had with Dean. There was no other option; there would never be anyone else for Cas. It was difficult to breathe, his chest was heavy and his throat was tight.

 _This is it_ – he thought – _Dean is the one._ Cas smiled at that thought; with all the warmth of his heart.

Unfortunately, following the revelation, was a kickback of sadness and fear too. Because now that he’d given his heart to this man, Dean was free to do what he wanted with it. He could keep it. He could ruin it. He could break it.

_Oh God, Dean, please don’t break it.  Don’t break me._

Cas felt fingers on his chin. Dean was pulling his chin up to see his face. When their eyes met they shared a smile and without a word, Dean pulled Cas close to him and settled them into the covers, arms around one another and legs intertwined. It was impossible not to feel safe and warm and loved in these arms.

Cas closed his eyes and conjured up the memory of what Dean had looked like, just moments ago, when he’d smiled at Cas. There was something different in that smile now. Cas couldn’t put his finger on what it was – but it made the difference.

 _It’ll be okay_ – he thought – _I can trust Dean with my heart._


	6. Howlin' For You

 

“Oh my god, is it morning already?” whined Dean.

“Not yet but its close,” huffed Cass as he forced himself from the warm bed.

“You’re really gonna get up and run this morning?”

“Definitely.”

“Because it’s good for you?”

“No. Because if I don’t - Cole will kick my ass,” laughed Cas.

“Tell him you have a hot piece of ass in your bed and you’re not going anywhere.” grouched Dean, “he’s a guy. He’ll understand.”

Cas sat back down on the bed to put on his shoes, “I’ll bring your hot piece of ass a coffee.”

“With caramel” said Dean turning over and snuggling back down in the blankets.

Cas chuckled as he grabbed his phone and arm band and headed for the door. He was about half way down the hall when heard Dean yell, “…AND A DOUGHNUT!”

The mornings were getting progressively cooler as the season wore on and they’d begun to dress warmer lately. When Cas arrived he saw Cole stretching and his breath was making white steam against the darkness. They greeted each other and chatted a bit while they finished stretching and headed out into the park at a slow jog.

As they moved through their usual route, with Cas keeping his eye on Cole, he noticed something was different about the man, but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was. His mind began to wander as he followed his leader through the pre-dawn city. He found himself thinking about Zar again, not in a sexy way, but just to wonder how the man was doing. He’d never had any ill feelings toward him. In fact, he cared very much for him. Breaking things off had been tough.

Zar was the manager of a prestigious art gallery. He was also a drug dealer. He’d been Cas’ dealer for years. Zar’s parties were always a success and his flat (as he’d called it) was never empty. In fact, it was the place to be. There were always people over. Some just stopped by for a few minutes to pick up a taste and some stayed to party the night away.

One night, Cas had stopped over to make a buy and ended up staying to watch England lose the Euro2012 quarter-finals to Italy.  As they’d watched the game together, Cas had notice Zar flirting subtly with him. He’d always just thought the man was flirty in general, but now Cas was wondering if Zar had always been flirting with him and he just hadn’t realized it.

He’d found himself responding in kind and before long, they were making out heavily. Of course it was never quiet at Zar’s place for long and they hadn’t even gotten shirts off yet when more company drifted in. Cas had stayed quite late waiting for the man to find them some private time but it wasn’t in the cards. Shortly after midnight Cas had begged off for home – having to be to the office the next morning.

When he’d gotten to work the next day, he’d gotten a text from Zar offering dinner. That had been the start of things for Cas. He’d been sucked into the man’s life a little at a time, over the next few months. Pretty soon Cas found himself with Zar most nights. They’d go out to one of the many parties and events that the man was invited to or Cas would just occupy the couch while the man’s friends and clients (all the same to Zar – he made no distinction) shuffled in and out.

Cas had been caught up in the magic of the man for months and months before he started to recognize the red flags for the dangers that they were.

For instance, they never went to Cas’ place. Cas came to Zar. Always. He didn’t recognize this as an imbalance – that’s just how things were.

One night, however, Zar got up to go to the bathroom with a client. He did that sometimes if there were people in the flat that Zar didn’t know or didn’t trust.

Cas had noticed they’d been in there for a while and when they did come out, the woman’s shirt was buttoned all the way up. But when she’d gone in there – she’d had several buttons open. Cas remembered this because he’d checked out her rack as they’d been chatting. Who buttons up their shirt more when they’re out? No one. That’s who. He watched the woman very closely as she chatted politely for a few more minutes and left. She wouldn’t look at Cas. Not once.

Once Cas had started really watching… he noticed a lot of things that weren’t kosher. It didn’t take long once his eyes really opened, to see what was going on. He’d tried to talk to the man about it but in the end - he’d had to make an exit. Zar wasn’t one to change. And Cas wasn’t one to share.

They’d had some good times. And they managed to stay friendly when they split. Cas had continued to buy from Zar but each time he came over he wound up having block the man’s advances and it was getting increasingly difficult to keep up the defensive. Zar knew all of Cas’ weaknesses and exploited them shamelessly.

Cas was snapped out of his reverie when Cole grabbed his arm. Cas saw that they’d reached the park but he’d not been paying attention and was about to run right past Cole. The man flashed him a smile and they settled into a nice easy jog together. As they neared the parking, they slowed to a walk. Cas pulled off his earbuds and apologized for being off in space.

“S’okay” said Cole, thumping him on the shoulder. “Something on your mind?”

“Nah. Just five worlds away. Need coffee.”

They moved across the street where Cas ordered double shot and got Deans caramel monstrosity and a couple doughnuts too.

The two sat down at a small table inside where it was warm. With pink noses and ears they savored their warm drinks and had a brief chat.

Cole told Cas he’d enjoyed meeting Dean. Cas expressed appreciation for all of Coles good advice – even the books he’d recommended had helped. Cole said he was happy to help any way he could. He warned Cas that Dean would still have some challenges ahead of him and to be patient and Cas confirmed that he would be.

Cole suggested maybe he and Dean come over some night for dinner and meet his girlfriend and Cas enthusiastically agreed. Then Cole stunned him. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a tiny box. Cas knew what that little box meant.

“Shit Cole,” said Cas, “I didn’t realize you were even thinking about the ‘M’ word.”

“Oh yeah.” He grinned, “for a while now. She’s one of the good ones. I’ve gotta lock that shit down quick so I can work on growing in my beer gut” he joked.

“Well,” Cas smiled warmly and wrapped the man in a full-on hug, “Congratulations, truly.”

“Thanks Cas.” He said, gripping his shoulder. “If I call you tonight, you fucking answer. Got it?”

“Sure. But why…” Cole cut him off.

“I’m asking her tonight. So if I call you – it’ll be because she’s said no. You’ll be responsible for my beers all night, my puking and crying, and helping me move my shit back out of her place.”

They were laughing as they exited the coffee shop. “Cole, this may sound stupid, but why are you proposing on a Monday night?”

“It’s our anniversary. I’m calling sick tomorrow.”

“Good thinking” smiled Cas as they separated, each moving toward their own car, “see you at the game then. You’ll probably run slower with that ball and chain on your ankle,” Cas teased as they parted company.

 

 

 

When Cas arrived back at his place, Dean was already in the shower. Cas went in to join him – leaving Deans coffee on the counter and climbing into the steamy shower.

Dean’s back was almost pink from the hot steamy water and he had evidently not heard Cas come in. So Cas surprised his man with his freezing cold hands; and was rewarded with the squeal of an 11 year old girl slipping out of Deans mouth.

“FUCK!” he cussed, recovering the man voice. “I’m gonna have to put a bell you!”

Cas huddled under the warm water gratefully as Dean slid out of the shower. Cas continued turning the knob a quarter turn every twenty seconds or so, getting the water progressively hotter and hotter until it was starting to burn. Then he rinsed the soap from his hair and exited, no longer feeling the chill of the mornings run.

As he stepped out he pulled a towel around his waist. Dean had found his coffee and was leaning against the counter sipping it slowly. As Cas moved toward the sink to brush his teeth he glanced a shy smile at the man, wondering why he was staring. Dean offered no conversation, just smirked at him while he brushed and flossed.

When he’d finished he looked at Dean, “What?”

“Nothing.” He smiled softly. “Just wanted to tell you I love you.” And then he leaned in close and whispered into Cas’ ear, “And… that I felt you every step of the way when I walked to the shower this morning.”

Cas’ breath caught in his throat, and with that, Dean pulled the towel from Cas’ waist and smacked his ass firmly before he strode out of the bathroom. Cas stood there naked, staring after him. A smile slowly spread across his face.

 

 

Dean whistled as he pulled into the parking garage at work.  Today was a big day and he felt ready for it. As he moved through the halls he found that people seemed surprised when he smiled or acknowledged them _. Wow, I really have been walking in my sleep_ he thought.

He entered his office, noticing that his secretary, Ava, wasn’t at her desk. He shot her a quick email requesting her to set up some meetings for him and then opened his email. Shit. If he read all of these it would take him the entire day just to get through them.

Dean started at the bottom so he’d be seeing them in the order received and not be confused. Within a few minutes he found himself taking notes so he could keep up with the changes that were coming hard and fast via email. It was getting on 10:00 when his secretary arrived. He walked out to greet her and inquired about the meetings he needed and gave her his lunch order. She sat down and got to work. He resumed his work in his office. By lunch time he was starting to feel overwhelmed, but he took a brief break to eat and resumed, knowing he would feel no better until he’d gotten caught up.

He got an email from Ava saying that Mr. Spencer would be able to see him at 4:30. Excellent. He replied quickly to Ava to accept the meeting and then got straight back to work. His new goal was to be caught up before his meeting with Spencer. He’d created folders for the emails he didn’t think he needed to read immediately and labeled them to keep like items together. He had a list of questions and a list of notes. He was feeling organized, if nothing else.

He took a brief break to use the restroom and then got back to work and by 4:00 he was finishing up. He reviewed his notes as if her were studying for a test, just to be sure that all the changes in policy, procedure and planning were firmly in his mind before he put them away. Then, he typed up his list of questions and double spaced them so he’d have room to write answers down and printed it out. It was a bit childish but he didn’t care. He wanted to do what was most effective for him, not what would make him look good in the meeting with Spencer. Besides, Mr. Spencer had sat in on the negotiations with Michael’s family. He already knew the biggest and dirtiest secrets Dean had. What was the point of having any pretenses now?

At 4:20 he headed to the elevator and rode up to the executive level. As he exited the elevator he had to walk past his dad’s office. He forced himself not to look, just keep walking. Keep the chin up, he told himself.

Mr. Spencer’s secretary reminded him of Vanna White. Every movement was exaggerated and overdone. She gestured grandly for him to have a seat.

Soon Mr. Spencer came out into the waiting area to greet him personally and lead him into the office. As Dean took a seat at the oversized mahogany desk, he looked the man in the eye and told him he was sorry for having been a fog. He explained that he’d not handled his father’s death well but that he was ready to move forward at work now. He mentioned noticing that the leadership of the late Winchester was clearly missed and that he’d like to help put things back to order.

“That’s why I’m here, Mr. Spencer. It’s come to my attention that I have not risen to the occasion as my father would have liked. But I am ready to rectify that now. I’ve come seeking your counsel because you were one of his most trusted. I thought you might be able to provide some insight as to how I can provide support to the structure of the company. Perhaps help fill the holes.”

“Well, Dean, first of all I have to say that I understand. We’re all feeling a bit out of sorts. Aside from our personal grieving, we’ve all been feeling a bit abandoned without his guiding hand for the firm.” He paused and shifted in his chair before going on to say, “But I think we’re starting to move forward now, at the board meeting next week we’ll be naming the new president. Once we have that task completed we feel that the remainder of the outer lying issues will begin to fall into place.”

“Ok,” said Dean – reaching for his folder, “I have some questions for you and that was one of them.” Dean said as he pulled his things into his lap. “I’ve been getting meeting invitations to board meetings. I never got those before. I wasn’t even aware that there was a board,” Dean confessed sheepishly, “I knew there was an executive meeting that I wasn’t part of, but a board?” 

“Well Dean, you’re right. There never was a board. The business was controlled by your father and by his invitation, the executive level attorneys like myself, came to the executive meeting to discuss things and offer opinions. But ultimately, the final decisions were always John.”

Spencer went on to explain that as part of Johns estate he’d provided for the institution of a board of directors for Winchester Law. It provided a seat on the board to each executive level attorney and each of his sons. Essentially, it took Johns boys and his most trusted associates and placed the business in their control. All decisions would now be made by vote, rather than by John’s unflinching hand.

Dean smiled warmly, a soft feeling of gratitude growing inside him for his father. _Of course_ – thought Dean. Dad wouldn’t leave him and Sam to try and figure out how to handle his life’s work with no direction. Of course he would find a way to make the transition easy for all of them. Of course he’d reward his most faithful employees by providing them a ‘say so’ in the business they’d dedicated their lives to. It was so _John_.

Dean looked up to see Mr. Spencer smiling at him too. “It’s a weight off your shoulders, right?”

“Yes.”

“You know, if you were reading your emails or attending meetings you could’ve had that relief weeks ago.” He chided.

It didn’t even bother Dean that the man was talking down to him a bit. He had it coming. The man was 100% correct.

“Mr. Spencer, I have some other questions if you don’t mind?”

“Of course,” he said and leaned back in his chair with a relaxed posture to answer Dean’s questions.

As Dean left the office, he glanced at the man’s name plate on his desk. Norman. Norman Spencer was his name. Dean thanked him warmly for seeing him on short notice and taking the time to explain things to him in such detail.

Mr. Spencer shook his hand again and said, “Now you make sure you’re making those meetings a priority. If you’re not there – you forfeit your vote. You own a large chunk of the stock in this company and your vote is you’re only way to assert control over its destiny.”

“I will,” he promised Mr. Spencer as he exited, thanking him again.

A feeling of peace settled over him. It was like all was right with the world. He had to admit that he may have known all of that… if he’d been paying attention at the reading of the will. But he hadn’t been.

Now, as he moved into the elevator and rode it down, he realized that his dad had given him a promotion. He was now Dean Winchester, Special Projects Coordinator, and Board of Directors at Winchester Law. He swelled with pride as he walked back to his office. He couldn’t wait to tell Cas the news. This day had turned out so very much better than he’d been planning. He’d thought it would be a very challenging day. It wasn’t. It was sweet relief.

As soon as he got to his office he called Sam. Did Sam even know? The phone rang several times and then went to voicemail. Dean went ahead and left a message for Sam, despite the fact that they weren’t technically speaking.

“Hey Sam, its Dean. I’ve just finished up meeting with Mr. Spencer and there’s some things I wanted to talk to you about. Can you give me a call please?”

As he hung up he thought to himself – _two birds with one stone._ Because not only were things going to be falling into place at work over the next few weeks but he’d reached out to Sam so civilly that the man would definitely return his call. They’d get to talk again and this time Dean would keep his temper. Fix things with his brother _finally._

He sent a quick text to Cas asking if he felt like going out to celebrate tonight.

Then he called his mom and invited her to go with him tomorrow night and watch Cas’ last game of the season. She said she’d be thrilled to and they set a time for Dean to pick her up. Dean’s smile couldn’t have been much wider. He was feeling pretty damn good.

 

 

 

Sam was waiting in line. He hated waiting in line. The billing office at Stanford was never one of his favorite places, but today it seemed especially punishing because apparently the A/C was malfunctioning and it felt like it was a hundred degrees in here.

There were fans set up around the room, but all they were doing was blowing hot air at everyone. As he stepped to the front of the line he found himself admiring the woman at the window. She had a certain look to her that he found very attractive. As her current customer stepped away, and Sam stepped up for his turn, he noticed that she was just as hot as he was. But he was sweating. She was glistening. He glanced at her name tag. Ruby.

“Hello, Ruby” said Sam, meeting her eye, “I just need to pay my bill. Here’s my account number.” He watched her key it in and bring up his information. She looked at him and asked if he’d be paying the balance in full today. “Yes,” he said, “but I need to request that you remove the line item for blue pass. I’ve purchased red pass. See?” he held up the badge to show her.

“I see,” she said, “You’ll have to take that up with dietary. I can’t change it here.” She said. Her face relayed no emotion, but she was looking at him with interest.

“What _can_ you do for me here?” he grinned at her flirtatiously.

“I can take your money” she responded with a sly grin.

He didn’t speak. He just held her gaze as he pushed his check across the counter to her. She didn’t break the stare either, stamping the check and putting it in the drawer while she held eye contact with Sam. Then she turned to the computer and entered his information.

Turning back to him she said, “This leaves you with a balance until you’ve cleared the changes with dietary. You may get a notice in the mail.”

“My numbers on that check.”

“Good to know,” she said dismissively as she looked over his shoulder to the next customer.

He stepped into her line of sight, refusing to be dismissed. “I should have your number too. In case I need to call you with any questions regarding the transaction with… dietary?”

“You don’t need my number.” She said coyly. “I’m at the front of this line every Tuesday and Thursday from 2 til 5.” She turned her head slightly, looking past him again, but kept her eyes fixed on his as she said loudly, “Next!”

Sam stepped away from the window and moved out of the overbearing heat of the billing office. But he didn’t go far. In the lobby outside the office he paused to look at his watch and consider the time. 4:15. He plunked down in a chair in the lobby and waited. It wasn’t as hot here as it had been inside the cramped billing office but it was still uncomfortable. It felt like hours passing instead of minutes.

At about 5:05 he saw her striding confidently across the lobby towards the door. He moved to her side, both of them sweaty, and said “Good evening, Ruby.”

“Good evening…”

“Sam” he supplied her.

“Sam.” She repeated as they stepped outside into the much cooler air of the early evening. “Would’ve been more comfortable to stalk me out here, wouldn’t it?”

“I’m not a stalker,” he teased, “a stalker is unwelcome. You were secretly hoping I’d be here to walk you to your… car? Dorm?”

“Was I?” she challenged him.

“Yes. Would you like to grab a drink with me?”

“No. I’d like to grab a shower.” She said assertively, not looking at him.

“Well,” he flirted, “I would’ve bought you a drink first, but Ok.”

She laughed despite herself.

“Where are you parked?” he asked her.

“I don’t have a car.” She said flatly.

“Would you like a ride then?”

“Ok, Sam. Give me a ride.” She said with a slight inflection of her voice and tilt of her head that said she fully intended the play on words.

 _Fuck Yeah_ thought Sam.

 

 

 

 

Cas was just pulling out of work when he got a text from Dean saying that things had gone better than expected today and offering to take Cas out to celebrate. Cas smiled widely, thrilled for Dean and immediately responded asking where to meet. “Hooligans” came the immediate reply.

Cas grinned and headed across downtown. When he parked and began walking to the bar he also got a text from Anna. It was looking like Michael was going to drop the bomb sooner than expected. Anna’s text advised about 2 weeks and suggested that if Cas were going to put in a 2 week notice at Baxter/Milton he should do it asap. Cas texted back, saying that he and Dean were out celebrating something and offered her to join them for drinks.

Her response was immediate, ‘Not quite time for my celebration yet. See you in 2 weeks’. He smiled at her fortitude, having made Michaels cause her own while still stealthily working at Baxter/Milton in case he needed anything else that she could get for him.

As Cas moved through the door of the bar he scanned for Dean and found him at the bar. The two men stepped together in a publicly acceptable, but affection filled, ‘bro hug’ with each man thumping the other on the back. Dean pushed a shot in his direction. Cas picked it up and held it, waiting for the toast Dean clearly intended to make.

“To my old man,” said Dean with a stiff lower lip, “who did me far better than I ever deserved.”

They both drank and then paused to wait for the burn to settle. Once it had, Dean looked to the bar tender and ordered them each a drink and a beer. They each grabbed their tumbler and beer glass, heading for a booth along the wall.

They slid in comfortably and Dean began explaining to Cas how John had set up his estate to incorporate a board of directors and given his boys (as well as all his senior staff) a seat on the board. Cas watched Dean closely as the man told him all the details. Dean was thrilled with the new structure, telling Cas how lost he’d felt when he considered trying to actually run a law office. He went on to explain how frustrated he’d been with Sam’s lack of interest in the running of the law office that he’d soon be employed at when his last year of school was finished. When the waitress brushed by them he ordered another round.

Now, Dean said, all he had to do was his job. The job he’d already been doing. He was thrilled that he wasn’t tasked with more than he could handle. And, Dean pointed out, “This is a promotion! Dad gave me a seat on the fucking board of directors Cas!  Do you know what that means? He trusted me enough to give me say so in everything that happens at Winchester Law…  And he loved me enough not to expect too much of me either. Jesus, Cas. I don’t even know how to explain how happy I am with the way he set things up.”

“Dean, John was an incredible man. He was brilliant. And, he loved you very much.”

Dean smiled warmly at Cas. “Damn I feel good. I mean, really, really good!”

“Me too Dean.” Smiled Cas. He held his tumbler up again to Dean. They clinked them together in a silent but meaningful toast to John Winchester.

 

 

 

Sam opened the door for Ruby and waited while she tucked herself into the seat, closing the door behind her. He settled himself into the driver’s seat and cranked up the A/C.

As cool air blew from the vents, she leaned forward into it and moaned seductively. “It was hot as hell in there!” she said glancing at him, “this feels awesome.”

“So,” said Sam, putting the car in reverse, “where are we headed?”

“Branner Hall”

“So you’re a graduate student.” Sam smiled, “Law?”

“Of course.”

“Why of course? You look like a doctor any man would dream of having, if I was guessing – medical school would’ve been valid.”

“Spare me!” She smiled. “If you’re a lawyer you don’t have to pretend to be ‘in it for the good of all mankind’. You can just admit to being an opportunist who wants to live the good life.”

“And that’s you? An opportunist who wants the good life?”

“Sure. I expect you think you’re better than that; since you’re obviously already living the good life?”

“What makes you think I’m already living the good life?” he challenged her.

“Where do you live Sam?”

He puzzled at her strange change in direction, “Munger,” he answered.

“See?” she smirked at him, “good life.”

“And you base that assumption on my car and my apartment?”

“Yes, and the fact that you’ve paid your bill with a check.”

“Does the fact that I already have a comfortable life mean I will earn it any less? We go to the same school you know.”

“Yes, I know.” She said – turning serious on him, “and whether you pass or fail you will continue to live that good life all the same… won’t you.”

He didn’t look at her, couldn’t answer. She was right.

“How many people do you share a bathroom with Sam?”

“Alright Ruby, you’ve made your point. How long are you going to punish me for growing up more comfortably than you did?”

“I’m not punishing you.” She said, smile returning. “Just making sure you’re aware of the vast chasm that lies between our life experiences.”

“Go right, here” she told him, pointing where to turn.

“You know,” she said – getting back to the topic at hand, “I’m just making sure you understand that you’re officially hitting on a girl from the wrong side of the tracks.”

“What difference does it make?” he asked her honestly, “As I’ve already reminded you – we go to the same school. We’ll both become very ‘comfortable’ lawyers. And neither of us will need to delude the other about why we’re doing what we’re doing.” He pulled the car up to the curb near her dorm.

She moved to get out of the car. He reached over and laid a hand firmly on her thigh. “I’m going to need your number so I can call you and invite you to dinner – somewhere ostentatious so that you can make me feel guilty about it while we eat.” He smiled at her, waiting for her to meet his eye. When she did, she had a very enticing smile playing at her lips.

“There’s nothing you need that you don’t already have, Sam.” She moved gracefully from the car and he leaned in saying, “Thanks for the ride Sam,” Before she closed the door and walked away.

He watched her pivot and move purposefully toward her residence hall, her gait was very smooth and her shadow was long in the late afternoon sun. Her auburn hair moved enticingly with the cool breeze. He wanted her.

 

 

 

“I don’t feel like going home yet,” complained Dean. “Let’s do something else.”

“What do you feel like doing?” asked Cas, looking around for a waitress to order another drink.

“Umm…” Dean considered that for a moment, then a smile spread across his face. “Let’s go see some titties” he grinned at Cas.

Cas felt a tingle in his pants at the mention of it. The giddy look on Dean’s face doubled it and he found himself grinning back at Dean, anticipating.

Just then the waitress stepped up to their booth, “Another?” she asked him.

“No, the check.” He said, not taking his eyes off Deans.

They exited the bar together and headed for Cas’ car. “Where should we go?” asked Cas as they hopped in together. “Did you like Dante’s?”

“Fuck yeah, Cas. Let’s go back to Dante’s.”

Cas put the car in first and navigated out of the parking garage. They’d left the Impala behind by unspoken agreement. Cas put the top down as they waited for the arm to go up and let them out on to the city street. Dean reached over and turned on the sound system. “I want to hear the Black Keys, how do I work your stupid spaceship car?”

Cas chuckled and batted Deans hand away from his console, selecting the music and turning up the volume a little. ‘Howlin For You’ thumped from the speakers. The sun had set and downtown was coming alive with nightlife. Cas took a deep breath, enjoying his buzz and the electricity in the air - and Deans hand on his thigh.

 

 

 

 

Sam puzzled over Ruby. She’d clearly been attracted to him. Maybe, he thought, she just doesn’t want to give it up too easy. She probably doesn’t want to get used. _She’d rather use me._

He realized that she was just the kind of girl that was going to make him work for it. And honestly? He didn’t mind a bit. What was the fun if they all just fell over with spread legs for him? Who wants to play pac-man all day on level one and win every time? There’s unending levels for a reason. The fun is all in working for it.

 _Ok,_ thought Sam _, time to up my game_. He didn’t know Ruby’s last name, so finding her in the directory would be time consuming. But he knew where she worked, that was easy. He knew that she’d be there – the day after tomorrow from 2 til 5.

He picked his phone and typed ‘florist’ into the google bar. He called the first one and ordered a pricey bouquet to be delivered to Ruby at the Stanford University cashiers office on Thursday afternoon.

“What would you like the card to say Mr. Winchester?”

“My phone number. And the word ‘please’.”

 

 

Cas moved past the entrance of Dante’s to find parking. It was a Monday night so he was surprised to see a small line as they drove by. Dean was leaning back in the seat with his eyes shut, enjoying his buzz, Cass assumed. They entered the parking garage and slid in to a spot, locked up the car and headed back a block to the bar.

The wait wasn’t long and they were reminded of the rules as they went in. They cut between the tables on the main floor and headed straight to the bar. There was an act on the stage already, Cas noticed. He waited until he was leaning on the bar and waiting for service before he paid any attention to the stage. Dean leaned up next to him and tilted his head to Cas’ ear.

“Dude, check out miss pigtails.”

“Shit” muttered Cas. It was adorable. Little blonde pigtails. Shorter-than-short pink dress with a white apron. Roller skates. Tray with fake ice cream on it. Damn.

Dean was spellbound watching the two girls in 50’s car hop outfits skate around. Both had on fake platinum wigs in pigtails and bright red lipstick. It was a wet dream come to life. The trays were set down and the two girls grabbed each other’s hands and began rotating in a tight circle. As the crowd cheered them on, they spun lower and lower, skirts riding up and providing a view of the bright pink panties they had on underneath.

Then, they moved apart from each other and continued skating around the stage as they untied their aprons and tossed them out to the audience.

Cas hadn’t realized how entranced he’d become until the bartender had to shout to get his order. He requested two double whiskeys and two beers. Once they had their drinks, they moved through the small crowd and settled in at an open table near the stage.

The girls were skating circles again and as they passed each other, they’d flick up each other’s skirts and give the audience a show. Then, one of them ‘accidently’ flicked open the others top. The girl didn’t bother to fix her top. She left her hot pink bra hanging out and skated over to retaliate, grabbing the other girls top and ripping it open.

Yep. Two bras out. Yum. Dean looked over at Cas and smiled. Cas smiled back at him. They both looked back to the stage just in time to see one girl yank the other girl’s uniform off completely. She stood in mock horror and embarrassment, trying to cover herself with her hands unsuccessfully. The other girl rolled up next to her and allowed hers to be removed as well.

Then they were circling again, fast. Two hot chicks with white-blond hair in pigtails and hot pink bikinis. They rolled apart and each grabbed a pole. In unison they used their inertia to circle the poles at a high rate of speed, legs spread wide with toes pointed outward in the skates to keep them circling. The audience went wild.

Slowly they came to a stop. The girls then skated forward - toward each other feigning shyness and giggles. One girl grabbed the pole and bent over for the other who pulled down the bikini bottom to reveal firm, tan ass cheeks with a hot pink thong string running up between them.

Then, to the utter surprise and delight of the audience, the girl began spanking that bared ass. Oh Shit. It was so hot. The two girls skated off again, hand in hand, touring the stage and playing peek-a-boo boobies with the audience. Soon the roles were reversed and the other little blonde was having her panties removed and her tush spanked. The raucous crowd cheered lewdly for them.

Now, when the skaters moved around the stage in small circles, they lined up behind each other, taking turns unhooking bras as they were racing about. In the end, they tore both off at the same moment when they spun to a stop center stage.

Dean and Cas knew what was next. Without a word they moved to the row down in front of the stage with their cash and waited for breasts to come dangle seductively over them as they laced their cash into skimpy thongs. Best Monday night in a long time.

As the two men settled back into their seats, Dean leaned in and asked Cas if he’d like to have a private dance.

“I don’t need all that,” said Cas. “I’ll just stay out here with you.”

“What if I was back there with you?” he asked, giving Cas a ‘come-on’ grin.

Cas felt his insides constrict at the thought. He leaned into Dean’s ear and said, “I’m in!”

Dean was gone before Cas could speak again. His eyes followed Dean to the bar and watched as he spoke to the bartender for several minutes. Cas returned his attention to his drink and then the stage where the ladies were out taking their final bows. “Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm round of appreciation for Abaddon and Lisa – our delicious meals on wheels girls!” Applause rang out from the audience and the girls rolled off stage.

Cas felt a thump and when he looked at Dean he realized Dean had popped a ‘Dante’s Inferno’ top hat on his head. He didn’t need to be told the meaning of the hat. He grinned excitedly at Dean and downed the rest of his drink. As the next act was starting up, he began sipping on his beer.

A single woman in a white nurse’s outfit moved onto the stage. She progressed seductively through an old fashioned strip tease, peeling off layers one at a time and performing stunning acrobatic tricks on the pole. When she was down to just her bra, panties and fishnet stalking’s, she moved up to the front of the stage and the boys, again, moved up to sniffers row to press cash into the strings of a bikini or under the clamps holding up fish-nets while looking up at the glistening breasts which dangled enticingly overhead.

No sooner had the men returned to their table then a loud cheer went up from the crowd. Cas didn’t have to look behind himself to see what was going on. He knew. The girls had come for them. He smiled at Dean and they both turned to watch as their strippers moved in close.

Cas felt the arms slither around his neck and then the weight of a busty blonde settle into his lap and arch her back to show off her incredibly voluptuous breasts. She leaned in, pressing them against him and then stood, turning and holding his tie in her fist while using her body language to encourage him to follow.

He glanced at Dean for a moment and saw the man getting to his feet. They followed the girls, elbow to elbow. Cas could feel Deans excitement passing though him at their point of contact. They followed through the doors marked private and were greeted by two very large and unsmiling bouncers who led them through another set of doors.

They were in a small room lined with mirrors. In the center were two plain metal folding chairs placed back to back. The bouncers went over the rules. Firmly. Then they handed each man a small towel and exited the room. Cas opened his fly and slid in his towel artfully to catch any ‘spills’ that may happen against his will and settled into an uncomfortable chair. He felt Dean do the same at his back.

He let his head fall back slowly, an inch at a time until he felt it resting on the back of Deans head. Dean moved his head to the right, which encouraged Cas’ to roll to the left. With that, they were resting, ear to ear with heads on each other’s shoulders. “This was an awesome idea Dean.” Cas felt Dean turn his head and place a soft kiss on Cas’ cheek. Cas sighed and smiled. It was only a moment before they heard the door open and picked up their heads to look.

In walked the two delicious car-hop skaters. They were without their skates but still had on the blond wigs. They appeared to be twins until they got closer. They separated then, one went to que up the music and one circled the boys like a shark.

As the music began, the ladies stood, each in front of one of them. They began to swivel hips and grind slowly under the low lights. Dean watched intently as this woman put on a special show just for him. She dropped in low and spread her legs to give Dean a quick ‘money shot’ before closing her legs again and thrusting into the air. She gracefully turned herself over on her knees and swirled her hips, bringing her skirt up higher and higher. Soon he could see her cheeks and then the thong as she pressed her ass further and further back. He watched her bring her fingers up between her legs and slide them up and down her clit – then working back farther to push the string aside and stoke between her ass cheeks. Dean’s mouth was watering.

She spun around on her knees and worked herself back to standing, bringing her fingers tantalizingly from her thigh up her middle and then to her breasts. She teased over the uniform for a short minute and then began taking it off as she danced in place to the music. When she was down to her thong and bra, she moved to him. He watched her cleavage and licked his lips as she sashayed closer to him. She grabbed him behind his knees and pulled him forward a few inches so he was sitting lower in the seat. Then she smiled at him and climbed into his lap, wriggling her hips until his stiff cock was resting between her ass cheeks.

He dropped his head back toward Cas. His hands had been hanging limp at his sides, so he reached just a few inches until he could feel Cas. His touch to Cas held electricity. Cas moved his hands too, intertwining their fingers and moving to do the same with the other hand. Their connection was powerful and Dean felt the snap and sizzle of electricity as it moved between them. Their hands stayed locked together as they both opened their eyes and watched the hypnotic dance of heaving breasts that was thrust in their faces and felt the rocking pressure of ass cheeks pressing firmly against their dicks.

Dean glanced in the mirrors around the room, seeing all that he could. Their reflection was everywhere, he and Cas, back to back, holding hands, breathing fast – both with a lapful of busty blond humping rhythmically to the music with tits bouncing and faces beckoning. Everywhere you looked you saw writhing bodies and heaving breasts. Dean felt his stomach swirling with pleasure which was pressing lower.

He watched full and perky tits bouncing as she worked faster. It was as if she could feel him building and wanted to get there with him. She pressed deeper to him and undulated her hips faster, leaning back. He felt the tingles pulling from his extremities and roaring toward his center. His chin dropped and he began panting heavily as the thrusts on his cock came faster and faster. This whole thing could’ve only been better if he’d been able to lean forward and suck those beautiful bouncing breasts. He was hypnotized by them as she worked him; she was riding him fully now. If he’d been naked they would’ve been fucking in that chair. But he wasn’t. He had a towel ready to catch his load when he came and he took a deep breath, knowing it would happen soon.

He felt Cas’ grip on him tighten. Knowing that Cas was about to come too - was exquisite. He felt his hips start to press up into the stripper’s warm body and her answering thrusts down onto him. These girls had worked them into a fever and sweat broke out on Dean’s lip as he prepared to come. He felt his mouth form a word, “Ah” was all that came out. His body stiffened as his pleasure roared in his ears and the world went away for a moment. The practiced body riding him knew just how to move. She slowed her thrusts and pressed down with all her weight, rocking and giving him something to press against as he came.

As he filled the towel and relaxed, having come, she moved to his ear and whispered to him, “Damn you boys are hot.” Then she swung her leg over to dismount him and moved to the wall, returning with another towel. He let go of Cas’ hands and took the towel from her, wiping his face with it as thanked her.

He felt Cas moving to his feet and he did the same. The girls both waved and told them to come see them again soon with big smiles. As they reached the door, Dean stopped to extricate his rag from his pants, clearing the spunk with it as he went. He dropped it in the laundry basket by the door and politely averted his eyes while Cas did the same. Once they were tucked back in and zipped up, they moved out of the room and back out onto the main floor of Dante’s where two dancers were twirling on poles.

Dean threw his arm casually around Cas’ shoulders – much in the manner of any two guys who’d just had a private dance. “You seen enough? Or you wanna stay for an encore?”

“I’m with you Dean,” he said smiling, “let’s go home.”


	7. Hurt

When the alarm went off on Tuesday, neither man wanted to get up. But they did anyway, both a bit hung over. They popped aspirin on the way to the shower and leaned on each other as they stroked their morning wood away and came softly in each other’s hands.

When they were in the kitchen having coffee and foraging for something to eat, Dean asked Cas what time his game was tonight and if it was at the same park. He confirmed the location and that the game would start at seven. Dean said he’d be bringing Mary and Cas requested that they sit with Anna if she came.

Dean had said that of coarse he would. Then he left with a smile, winking goodbye to Cas.

 

 

 

Sam overslept and ended up having to run to make his first class. He continued to feel like he was two steps behind all day. When lunch rolled around he sat down in the commons and tried to get mentally caught up.

Once he got his day straightened out, he caught up his email and voicemails. He heard the message from Dean again (the one he’d gotten from Dean on Monday regarding one of his meetings). It had been a very civil message so, again, he was tempted to call his brother. Just as he’d been the first time he’d heard the message.

But he didn’t. He continued to let the voicemails play in an effort to get caught up. Until Dean was being honest with Sam again, Sam felt no special inclination to be overly involved in Dean’s affairs at work or anywhere else.   _Let him call Cas about it_ – he thought tersly. _I’m clearly second on the priority list anyway._

 

 

 

Work passed quickly for Dean today. He’d gone through his emails fully now, and considered himself caught up. He glanced at his schedule for the week and saw that there was an upcoming visit scheduled for Dorothy Holmes.

No one but Dean would’ve understood the prep necessary for this now that John was gone, so Dean was glad he still had a few days to prepare. He doubted anyone else had put any forethought into her visit so he began with his normal preparations. He first had to find out which attorney was taking over for John on her case. Then he emailed all the attorneys involved to find out how much time they’d realistically need with her and what documents would be involved. It took most of the day to hear back from them all, but he had an overview of what would be needed as he was getting ready to leave for the day.

In the meantime, he’d focused on the physical things he needed for her visit like contacting security to be sure sufficient manpower would be available to assist him while not depleting their staff for the rest of the building. Additionally, he’d booked the needed conference rooms and made arrangements for the additional offices that would be needed to provide her and her staff with their space, privacy and functional tools required. He wanted to insure at least the same level of service for her that Charlie had praised him for on her last visit. Perhaps even more.

This visit was going to be starting the deposition process for her and that was stressful (he knew from experience). So, he also contacted a masseuse that had been previously used by the firm as an employee perk and discussed the possibility of utilizing her services on an ‘as needed basis’ for his clients. She’d agreed to sign the NDA and keep her affiliation with Winchester Law and its Clients confidential.

Dean was feeling accomplished when he shut down his computer and bid Ava good-night. He stopped at his condo for a few minutes to change and to pack a duffle bag of things he felt might be needed for Cas’ game this evening. He texted Cas a ‘good luck’ message and said he’d see him there. Then, he headed over to pick up Mary.

 

 

Sam was exhausted by the time he was finished for the day. He’d been run ragged and feeling two steps behind all morning and then when he’d finally gotten caught up over lunch – he realized he’d forgotten an important paper. He’d gotten a head start on it weeks ago and set it aside feeling accomplished. Now, weeks later, he realized he’d never remembered to get back to it and was behind. He’d gone straight back to his place and dug in.

But, he also found several errors in his thesis when he went back over what he’d initially written. Now he was doomed to spend the entire night working on it and still likely to turn in something substandard.

It was just one of those days. He worked until late in the night before finally taking a break. When he got up from his desk he found his cell phone to be almost dead and threw it on the charger while he went to the kitchenette and made himself a frozen pizza and grabbed the last Mt. Dew from the case in the fridge.

He sat down in front of the TV to eat his home-made cardboard and pepperoni treat, just wanting to get his mind off his work for a few minutes. After this little break, he’d start his final revisions and wanted to come back to his paper with a clear head. He ended up finding nothing on TV, and selected a nice porno to watch while he relaxed instead.

 Nothing like a some mindless porn and a midnight ‘pipe-cleaning’ to clear his head before getting back to his work. He sat eating shitty pizza and watching an old girls gone wild video that he’d long forgotten about.  When he was finished eating he leaned back into the couch cushions and tugged his sweats down to his thighs. Just as he was running his open palm over his semi-hard member, his phone chirped.

 _Who would that be at this hour?_ He thought.

He swiped his thumb across the screen to find a message from Meg.

“I know it’s late; but I can’t sleep. Can lil Sammy come out to play?”

Sam didn’t bother replying her message. He called her.

“Hey Sammy,” she purred.

“Hey Sexy” he responded.

“Did I wake you?”

“Nope. Working on a paper and have at least an hour to go. Thought I’d take a break so your timing is perfect.”

“You just happen to be taking a break right now?”

“Yep. I just ate some shitty pizza and was gonna watch a little TV to clear my head before I go back to do my final revisions.”

“TV huh?”

“Yeah. TV.” Said Sam, grinning as he glanced up at the TV where the close-up image of breasts was paused, “So, you can’t sleep?”

“No, and warm milk didn’t help. So naturally, I called you.”

“You know I’m always here for a friend” said Sam, reaching back down to resume stroking himself, “do you need me to tell you a bedtime story?”

“Normally, I’d say yes to that. Your stories usually do the trick.” She said smoothly, “but tonight I was trying to take care of myself and not bother you. So I put on the panties you gave me and went out for a drink.”

“You did.” He said flatly and sitting up straighter, “where did you go?”

“One of my usual places, but it was a tough night.”

“How so?” Sam had to admit, he didn’t like the idea of her out looking for someone else to fuck.

“Because,” she whined, “They all looked so yummy… til they opened their mouths! Sam… when did they all get so fucking stupid???” Sam was laughing now, “It’s not funny Sam!” she squeaked at him, “I’m telling you! I have seen the future and it’s terrifying! These young guys don’t have the brains god gave a que ball! Once they open their mouth… I just can’t do it!”

“Wow… I didn’t realize that my perfect combination of looks and brains was so hard to come by” laughed Sam.

“Well, not to stoke your ego – but yeah. I’d been there for less than an hour and I wanted to put a sign on my forehead that said ‘I’m a sure thing if you just keep your mouth shut!”

“Well it’s a good thing we have each other then.” Sam said resolutely, “Because I have a similar problem hooking up with anyone but you. They never seem to last too long. I wasn’t kidding when I said I always end up coming back to you. At some point I have to just concede that maybe there’s no one that does it like you do.” He closed his eyes as he said it. It wasn’t flattery, he meant it.

“Well that’s some pretty high praise Sammy. I have to say, I return the sentiment. So, how am I going to get to sleep tonight? If I come over, can you put me down before you go back to work on your paper?”

“You even have to ask?”

“I’ll be there in ten.”

“You’re that close?”

“I left when you called me.” She said. “And I’m wearing your special panties.” She said with a grin as she hung up the phone.

Sam looked around his place, just in case there was anything he needed to be ashamed of when Meg came over. There wasn’t. The half-eaten pizza, the porno on pause, the scattering of empty cans and bottles on the coffee table, counter and desk… he had nothing he needed to hide from Meg.

Her familiarity was a warmth in his chest and the soft pink spot between her legs was far preferable to the open palm he’d been stroking with when she called. He smiled thinking of her. They’d been friends since his senior year of prep. They’d dated for several months that year; they’d even gone to the Winter and Spring formals together. But it hadn’t take long for his philandering ways to become known to her. Her pretenses for dumping him had been quite fair.

“Fool me once, shame on you Sam Winchester.” She’d breathed through tears, “Fool me twice? That’s on me.” She’d said, walking away from him. He’d watched her go, a defeat in her posture that he’d rarely seen since.

Considering now, how she’d looked then, it nearly broke his heart. How could he have done that to her? She had deserved better. Still did.

She had a stature of self-assurance that made her seem infallible and unbreakable. But it was a carefully crafted façade, much like her sexy swagger when she was toying with him, and her ‘trust me with your research studies’ persona that she wore in her client meetings. Deep down – she had a soft side, a sweetness that she didn’t let see the light of day.

A few well-placed kicks to her inner ‘sweetness’ in her formative years had cultivated the protected way she carried herself now. What would happen to her now, if he took up with her again? What if he decided she was the one? Could he be faithful to her? He liked to think so. Maybe he should give it a try.

Her knocking snapped his mind back to the present. He pulled up his sweat pants over his wilted cock and moved to open the door for her.  When she came in she was wearing a long coat, which she flung to the back of a chair. Underneath she had on a simple but attention grabbing number and as he raked his eyes up from her stiletto heels slowly, he stopped to appreciate the definition of her tanned legs and the way her petite frame carried her ample breasts. As he stepped up to her, he had to force himself to look away from her cleavage and into her eyes. He brought his hands up to cup the sides of her face. Before going any further with her, there was something he needed to say.

“Meg,” he began, swallowing twice, “You’re an incredible woman. Too good for me, though I’ve always been glad that you didn’t seem to know it. If there was a promise I could make to you and be sure I wouldn’t break it…”

“Sam,” she interrupted him, “I don’t need your promises. I came here to get laid. Nothing more.”

He could see in her eyes that she understood there were things to say. She just wasn’t any more certain of what really needed to be said then he was. So she opted to do what they did best. Dismiss it for now. She leaned toward him, and he reached down to her. He circled his strong arms around her pixie form and lifted her easily to him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, tipping her head back and letting him smatter kisses all over her while he carried her easily to his bedroom.

As he moved toward his bed with her, he reached over to the nightstand, threw a condom on the bed. Then he stroked her hair and then laid her out softly at the edge, sliding his hands up her bare thighs and pulling her little scrap of dress up with them. He’d almost forgotten the vibrating panties, but as he tugged her dress higher, there they were. He could feel the vibrations under his fingers when he slid them under her cheeks to give a squeeze.

Her legs were still wrapped around his middle and he rocked his hips into her seat feeling her soft tush under lace panties. She was using her legs to shimmy his sweat pants down now, and reached forward with her hands to pull his heavy dick out of his dark boxer briefs. As her eyes dipped lower - from his sculpted chest to his thick cock he saw hunger pass across her face.

Then she was sitting up and leaning forward to take him in. As her warm wet mouth slid down again and again, farther and farther, he released a long held breath and moved both his hands to the back of her head. She was working him over intently, letting his hardness graze across her tongue and toward the back of her throat. He felt her sliding forward and pushing herself deeper, her hands gripping his cheeks firmly as she pulled him tightly to her. She worked him deeper in her mouth until she finally gagged. Even then, she pushed harder. He watched a tear form at the corner of her squinted eyes before she finally released him. “I need it Sam, I need that big hard cock in me now.”

He could see what she needed when she looked at him that way. He grabbed the condom and tore it open hungrily with his teeth and slid it over his slippery wet dick.  As she watched him he grabbed her roughly by the arms and flung her backwards onto his bed. She moved backwards toward the middle of the bed, a tug of a smirk at the corner of her lips. She was moving away from him playfully so he grabbed her ankles and drug her back, “Oh no you don’t,” he said forcefully, “you’ll turn your ass over for me,” he sneered; and without a moments hesitation he used a wide sweeping arc of his right arm, clasped firmly around her ankle, to flip her over on the bed.

She was on her belly now, and before she could recover he was already pulling her backwards toward the edge again.  She struggled to get her knees under her and soon found herself with her ass in the air, flush with Sams long throbbing cock. She felt it press against her vibrating panties and squeed a little in them.

Sam had his thick fingers in the top of those panties before she could even speak. He pulled them down roughly and delivered a loud open handed slap to her perky little ass. He watched as it reverberated under his palm.

She was a sight like this… ass in the air, panties rucked down just past her cheeks, soft outline of a pink handprint forming on her cheek, her graceful back arched in pleasure and her hands gripping the sheets forcefully.

“Another, you fucker! Give me what I came here for!” She challenged him. Without hesitation he pushed his heavy dick straight into her. He watched as she pressed back into him and he began thrusting into her hard and heavy. He focused his vision on his huge dick where it slid in and out of her and watched closely as his open hand dealt a slap to her cheek with each thrust he pounded into her.

“I know.” pound.

“Exactly.” Pound.

“What you.” Pound.

 “Need.” Pound.

“Yeah, Sam. That’s right. Give me what I need.” Her voice was muffled in the sheets as he pounded into her relentlessly. He knew she was getting close when she pulled herself up out of the pile of sheets and onto her elbows. “Yesssss” she hissed for him.

He knew what it was like to need a dirty fuck. Sometimes it was the only way to get off when you were frustrated. And after a rough dirty fuck… a good nights sleep was inevitable.

He saw that her ass was getting raw but she was still searching for more – pressing to him and urging him on. So he sucked his two middle fingers for a moment and then began working them into her tight ass. She immediately screamed out in pleasure when the burn hit her – it was the ‘more’ that she’d been needing so he thrust them forward quickly without giving her time to adjust.

Her tightness bearing down on his fingers sent shockwaves to his cock which grew larger inside her and they both shouted; each for the other.

“Fuck Meg!” He called to her as she rocked back on him.

“Yes! Sam! Fucking fuck me!”

He pulled his fingers out and delivered one last firm open handed smack to her pink ass and watched her come. She convulsed with the force of it, swiveling her hips around his dick as he pushed it forward and held it there while he released.

When it they broke apart he fell beside her. She moved her head into the crook of his elbow and he petted her hair softly, pulling the strays out of her face.

As their breathing slowed, he pulled closer to her and she tucked into him.

“You always seem to know just what I need.” She told him sleepily.

He waited until he was certain she was asleep before he made his confession to her. “I’m a shit-head Meg. You can’t rely on me for anything. I will always let you down. But you are special to me in a way that no other woman has ever been. I just wanted you to know that.” With that said, Sam got up from the bed, covered her over gently, and went to finish his paper.

 

 

Dean glanced over at Mary. She was quiet in the front seat of the Impala. He wondered if the ride in John’s old car was a warm trip down memory lane for her - or stab of hurt. He knew how connected he felt to his father in this car. He hoped it was the same for his mom.

When they arrived at the park, he hefted the large duffle on his shoulder, and they headed over to the swarm of activity near the bleachers. There was a lot more activity tonight then there had been for the practice that Dean had attended.

There were throngs of kids running about while friends and family chattered warmly in the bleachers. The last of the sun had sunk behind the horizon and the bright-white park lights were spotlighting the game field. Cas’ team, the Hurricanes, were dressed in their blue uniforms and were warming up on one end of the field while the opposing team, the Dragons, were in green and warming up at the other end.

Dean pulled his mother up into the stands and opened his duffel bag, pulling out a throw blanket that he’d grabbed from the back of the couch. He folded it in thirds and set it on the bleachers for them to sit on. They settled in together and he handed her a pair of mittens and a stocking hat, pulling on his own hat and gloves on too. Then, he proceeded to point out Cas, telling her he was number 13 so she could follow him during the game.

An announcer came over the loud speaker and welcomed everyone to the final game of the season. The sponsors were thanked and volunteers for next year’s season were recruited. The announcer mentioned the snack bar being open and that the proceeds from it will go to the local Boy Scout troop. The announcer brought everyone’s attention to the other city league sports available, and gave the phone number and website to sign up.

While the announcements were going on, Robin climbed up into the stands and Dean introduced her to Mary. About that time, Dean saw Anna climbing up into the bleachers and stood to wave her over. It was only after he’d done it that he realized she wasn’t alone. At her elbow was Michael. She smiled widely towards Dean and shuffled his way.

Remembering his promise to Cas, Dean cordially invited Anna to join them and when she moved to sit, he and Mary made room on the blanket for both her and Michael.

Of coarse, Mary had no idea who Michael was until the introduction was made, but even after hearing his name, she didn’t falter. She kindly mentioned remembering him from the times when he and Dean had played ball together at prep. 

After a few minutes to compose himself, Dean found he didn’t mind so much. Michael may never be his favorite person in the world, but Anna was special. And if Anna thought Michael was worthy, then it was only fair to give the man a shot. Dean made a conscious effort to include both Anna and Michael in their conversation as they waited for the game to begin.

 Then, the announcer began introducing the players. They trotted onto the field one by one as their names were called. Dean cheered for all the members of Cas’ team – Cas most of all. His mother joined in loudly for Cas as did Anna and Michael and several others in the bleachers who seemed to know him.

Dean could tell that Cas noticed his cheering section was larger than usual and smiled towards them. As the game got underway, the Dragons took the lead right away by scoring a goal in the first quarter. Dean watched intently as his man worked the mid field. He cheered when the man pushed the ball toward the goal, sometimes standing to do so, if the moment was tense. The score didn’t even up until after the half. By that time, all the ladies had wound scarves around their necks.

Dean stepped away for a moment to grab coffees for everyone and when he returned with a cardboard tray of Styrofoam cups for His mom, Anna (and yes even Michael) he was told he’d missed a powerful assist by Cas and the Hurricanes were in the lead.

When the clock ran out with the Hurricanes still leading, cheers erupted from the bleachers. The teams did huddles and cheers and the Dragons congratulated the Hurricanes on their victory. As Cas moved toward them, his smile was electric and Dean couldn’t help smiling back.

He watched Cas as he saw Michael and registered a moment of indecision. But, he seemed to handle it the same way Dean did. With a quick decision to make nice for the sake of Anna.

By the time Cas reached their group, he was composed. Anna leapt forward with a hug and he pulled her in tight and playfully made sure to get his sweaty face all over her clean one. He leaned in and gave Dean the one armed hug they were accustomed to in public but with the extra tight squeeze that no one would ever know had been there.

Then, he shook Michaels hand when it was extended to him and accepted the congratulations he was offered. As those on the bleachers engulfed the men whose game was finished, there were lots of kids running around - giving and getting high fives and taking turns playing with the loose soccer balls. Lots of sweaty men were exchanging well wishes and promising to meet up for drinks straightaway.

Cas asked if any of them were up for drinks with his team. Anna said that she and Michael would join for a round but couldn’t stay late. To Dean’s surprise, Mary readily agreed to join.  She helped him fold up the blanket and re-pack his duffel and then they headed for the car.

As they climbed in, Dean fired up the heat, hoping it wouldn’t take too long to warm up. Then he put the name of the bar into his phone for directions. Once he was ready to pull out he looked at his mom. She gave him a heartfelt smile, which he returned. He knew that she was glad she’d come.

As he rumbled out of the park and joined the bumper to bumper line of cars, she leaned over and toyed with the stereo until she was satisfied with the tune. Then, to Deans surprise, she began singing along to ‘Dream Weaver’ by Gary Wright. He was stunned. But when she turned to him and smiled, he joined her.

Soon, she had to take his phone and help guide him to the pub which was difficult to find. As they came in from the cool evening air, they warmed up quickly. The place was big but crowded and felt like a real pub too. Complete with sticky floor and a few old codgers holding down the stools at the bar – fixated on the TV.

As the players began to arrive, the scene became boisterous. There were kids running around the pinball area and playing video games in the back. Adults were mixing about and chatting loudly while deep baskets of fried appetizers dotted the tables.

Dean and Mary decided to be courageous and try the ‘house favorite’. A sandwich that looked like heartburn on a stick. They ordered it with fries and cold beers and as they nibbled at their food (which was far better than they’d expected) they chatted between themselves and with others from the game who stopped by their table.

Robin and Gabe came by for a bit and so did Cole, who introduced Kim as his fiancé. Dean congratulated the two of them who soon moved on. Cas was there a short time later, sidling up to their table. He inquired about Anna but Dean had to admit he hadn’t seen her. He checked his phone and found a message that they’d be here shortly, which he relayed to Cas.

By the time Anna arrived, Mary was ready to head home. Dean put a hand on Cas’ shoulder and begged off to take Mary home, asking if Cas would like him to come back here or meet him at home. Cas said he planned to stick around for a while and when Dean left, Cas was chatting with Anna while Michael hovered at the bar waiting for their drinks.

The place was loud and festive and Cas was clearly having fun. It had been a great night. He put his arm around his mother as they walked to the car and thanked her for being such a great sport. She said she was glad to have been invited and as they settled into the car she told Dean that she was proud of how he’d handled himself with Michael.

She asked a few questions as Dean navigated the Impala out onto the expressway. Dean told her some things he thought she may not know. He explained to her what it had been like on the day they closed the Deal with Michael – specifically, how Dean had felt watching Michael hug his grandfather.

He also told Mary about the speech John had made at dinner with him and Cas. How he’d told Dean that not everyone who antagonizes you is actually your enemy; that often they’re just a person with a different viewpoint and something at stake.

“Your father was an incredible man, Dean.”

“I know.” He said quietly. “I miss him so much.” He said honestly, forcing his face to stay stoic and not fold on him.

“We all do.” She said simply, “he was the kind of man that leaves a gaping hole behind when he goes.”

Dean nodded, knowing she was watching him.

“Honey,” she began, “I know there’s a rift between you and Sam.”

Dean nodded again, there wasn’t much he could say.

“I don’t know what’s caused it. But I know you’re both angry. I hope you both can try to remember that you’re probably not as angry at each other as you think you are.” She took a deep breath and then continued, “I think you’re both just angry that he’s been taken from you. I think you’ve both found someone to take your anger out on – each other. And, Sam was never as close to John as you were, so he’s going to resent you a little, I think. Just because you had something with John that he didn’t. Try not to let it get between you, ok. Just try?”

Deans jaw was hanging open… “What do you mean? Sam was closer to dad… he was dad’s pride and joy! In a way I could NEVER be!”

“Dean,” said his mother quietly, “Just because Sam went to Law School and you didn’t, doesn’t mean that he was your father’s favorite.”

Dean was silent, not really understanding what she meant.

“John didn’t have favorites. He loved both of you boys – more than anything. But you boys were like night and day. Sam was always more the academic. Your dad was very proud of him, how could he not be?”

“But you, Dean, you shared far more in common with your father then Sam did.” She was silent for a moment before continuing, “You both liked the same kind of music… the same cars… and if you don’t mind my saying so… you both had the same propensity for trouble making too.”

“From the time you could walk,” his mother said smiling, “you were toddling after John. You followed him around, watched him work on the cars, soaked up everything he took a moment to teach you.”

Dean wondered if she could see the tears that had started tracking silently down his cheek.

“Sam was always running the opposite way from John. He never put much stock in anything the man said or did. He went to law school, yes, but what did you ever stop to wonder why? Do you really think he did that for John? Sam has always done whatever he wanted.” She took a deep breath, “You, on the other hand, you went to work for John even though it really wasn’t your calling. You don’t think that meant something to him? That you tried so hard to please him? He wanted desperately to find you a niche where you could be happy in his office. And, I’m happy that before he died, he seemed to think that he had.”

“You mean Dorothy Holmes?”

“Yes. He said you’d taken to it like a duck to water. He was going to start bringing in more Hollywood clients and building up a business that could one day be broken off into its own branch. Perhaps open an office closer to Hollywood with you at the helm.”

Dean was floored.

“I doubt any of that will come to fruition now. I don’t think any of his upper level men were interested in plunging into that market. But,” she said firmly, “I want you to know what he’d planned for you Dean. He had very big plans for you, son.”

Dean couldn’t take any more. He pulled the car over and practically leapt into his mothers arms. He tried so hard not to cry and simply couldn’t hold back the flood gates. He’d spent most of his life feeling like the second seat son – always behind Sam. Now he could see that he wasn’t second to Sam. His father had been as happy with Dean as Dean had always been with his father.

“Mom,” he said into her collar, “why didn’t you ever tell me any of that when he was alive?”

“I’m sorry Dean. It wasn’t until he was gone that I realized you didn’t know.”

 

 

 

Sam worked and re-worked his paper until he was pleased with it. Then he saved the file, printed a copy and began packing his bag for class. He’d worked through the sunrise and was waiting for a pot of coffee when he heard Meg stirring in his bed.

He waited another minute for coffee so he could take her a mug. When he entered, she was throwing her dress from last night back on. He handed her coffee and she took it gratefully.

“I’m way too old to do the walk of shame from student housing she said smiling.”

“You don’t know how to walk with shame,” he teased her gently.

“Thanks for last night,” she said softly, grabbing her shoes from under his bed.

“Do you need a ride?”

“No. I drove. If I leave now I can still get a shower before I have to head to work.”

He hugged her to him, remembering what he’d said to her as she slept last night, and knowing he’d never have the guts to say it to her face.

“Have a nice day, dear!” he called jokingly to her as she walked out his door. A few chugs of coffee and he was out the door right behind her.

 

 

 

The rest of the week went quickly for Dean. It chaffed his hide that he hadn’t heard from Sam, but he busied himself with preparations for Dorothy.

When Thursday afternoon rolled around, he was waiting for her curbside with security. They enveloped her and brought her into the building, up the elevator and into her designated suites as if they’d done it a hundred times.

Dean had been thrilled to see that Charlie was with her again. She brought an element of fun with her wherever she went.

Dorothy was in quite a state, her words were slurring a little and her coordination was off. Dean personally escorted her to the ‘work room’ where the attorneys waited for her. When he moved back out into the hall, he came face to face with Charlie.

“Long time no talk,” she grinned at him.

“I know, how’ve you been?”

“Bitchin. I was sorry to hear about your dad. He was a cool dude.”

“You have no idea,” he said, smiling wistfully at her.

They chatted for a while about things. She’d also lost her parents at a young age. Actually, they’d been on their way to pick her up from a slumber party when they’d been struck by a drunk driver and killed. Her mother had lingered for a while on life support, but eventually Charlie had to let her go.

The topic changed to Dorothy at some point and Dean asked cautiously what she was taking. Charlie confided that Dorothy had an autoimmune nerve disorder and the medicines she took were to mask the symptoms but often left her out of sorts.

Charlie explained that Dorothy would soon stop getting roles when the disease advanced beyond the small tremors she was having now. Dean said he understood why they were hiding it and promised to keep it under wraps.

Their conversation rattled through movies and books and even favorite vacation spots before Dorothy was ready to be returned to her quiet room. Dean brought in the masseur for the two women and left them alone to enjoy it.

As they were loading the two back into their little motorcade, Charlie ran back to Dean and grabbed his cell phone smoothly from his pocket. She keyed in her contact info and said to keep in touch. Then she backed away thrusting her palm to him and splitting her fingers down the middle - showing her normal Vulcan good bye sign… “Later bitches!”

Dean chuckled watching them pull out into traffic and then headed inside to tear down the temporary rooms he’d set up for them.

 

 

 

Sam was walking to his last class when he got a message from Meg. Clearly she’d been bored at work and snapped a picture down the front of her blouse at her cleavage. Underneath the picture she’d written, “I remember you saying you liked my work clothes”

He paused for a moment to type back, “Yes I do. Can I get a shot of what’s under them?”

Almost instantly he received another message. He opened it excitedly. _Yeah baby!_ He thought. _That’s a nice set._

No sooner had he pocketed his phone - another message came in. He fumbled his phone out again expecting another juicy pic.

Nope. It was a message from an unknown number. It said, “Please what?”

Sam actually had to think for a minute before he remembered Ruby and the flowers he’d sent her… with his number on the card and the word ‘please’.

Immediately he typed out, “Please dinner”

Then he saved the number as ‘Ruby’ in his contacts.

 

 

 

Dean and Cas had met for drinks and dinner after work on Friday. They were at a highly recommended new steak house near Cas’ office. As they enjoyed their food, Dean suggested a small trip. Cas loved the idea.

“I was thinking we should do something outdoorsy before the weather turns shitty.” Dean had said.

“That sounds great. What did you have in mind?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe a hike? Or rafting? Chris says there’s a great place for beginners to try white water rafting and it’s only a few hours from here. Maybe we could do that? We could go up Friday night and then come back Saturday night – we’d still be home for our mandatory Sunday stuff.”

“Yeah, let’s do that,” said Cas enthusiastically. “Next weekend?”

“Sure. Try get out early on Friday if you can.”

“I’ll do you one better than that, Winchester, I’ll call out next Friday!”

Dean smiled at Cas and immediately decided he’d do the same. Then they could leave whenever they felt like it on Friday. They finished their dinner and headed over to Pams.

When they arrived, the party was already noisy. Dean and Cas moved through the groups of people, heading to the kitchen for beers. As they passed by the giant table they stopped for a minute to observe what drinking game was going on tonight.

It was ‘I never.’

Dean knew better. He steered Cas away from the table grinning. “That’s just not a can of worms we need to open tonight,” he said laughing.

They moved into the kitchen where they saw Chris and some of his friends doing shots. Immediately they were pulled into the next round. As Dean was pressed forward toward the island where the shots were lined up, he happened to glance over and see Pam move past Chris. Her hand lingered on the small of his back just a moment longer than Dean thought normal. (And Dean had been watching Pam for _years._ )

He immediately shot Chris a look. Chris instantly returned it with a ‘shit-eatin-grin’ that would do a ten year old proud. He held up his shot glass in a silent ‘cheers’ motion to toast Chris and Pam having hit it. Glancing at Cas he saw the man had missed it, and turned to fill him in. Cas looked immediately and disbelievingly at Pam.

Dean watched Cas watch Pam for next hour before he finally saw an indication of what Dean was so sure of. So, when Pam ushered their group into her bedroom, it was no surprise to either man when she dropped a record on the turntable and positioned herself happily on Chris’ lap.

Janis Joplins powerful and passionate voice filled up Pams room with ‘Piece of My Heart’ and she broke out a fat joint to pass around while they all chatted. They were all busy getting caught up and Dean inquired about the river front project. She said she’d been digging through materials and had quite a bit but hadn’t really felt moved to begin the actual pieces yet. She was sure that inspiration would strike soon and wasn’t worried about her deadline. Dean offered to help her dig and she thumped Chris’ thigh meaningfully and said she had it covered.

“I’ve fucking been replaced haven’t I?” he ribbed her good naturedly. “You’ll dig through debris with just about anyone wont you!”

The way she leaned into Chris spoke volumes about how happy they were together. He’d never seen Pam like that with anyone. He watched her get up and turn over the record, start another joint moving around the room, and crawl back into Chris’ arms.

Before too long, the record was over and they were all singing along loud and off key with the last song…

 

_Oh Lord won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz?_

_My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends!_

_Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends-_

_So Lord won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz?_

 

As they were getting ready to head back out to the party, Pam asked if anyone needed any green. Almost everyone did, so she took a minute circling the room and swapping bills for bags before they headed back out.

Dean whispered to Cas that he could get the white stuff if he wanted, but Cas leaned in and made Dean very happy when he whispered, “I’ll never touch it again.”

 

 

 

Saturday morning found both Cas and Dean with a righteous hangover. They’d partied way too hard at Pams.

“Damn Cas,” commented Dean, “I didn’t even get laid!”

“Yeah, you tried,” laughed Cas, “but I’ve learned not to let you put your mouth on my junk when you’re drunk.”

“One time Cas. I puked on you one time.” Dean said dismissively.

“Sometimes once is all it takes,” teased Cas, handing Dean Aspirin and water. They flopped back down on pillows, napping off and on while their aspirin kicked in.

When Dean woke feeling better he heard the shower going. He moved to the bathroom to join his man in there – but he wasn’t fast enough. Just as he was going in, Cas was heading out.  He tugged at the towel around his man’s waist but it stayed put. Huh.

“Learn a new trick, Winchester,” Cas teased him.

When Dean emerged from the shower he pulled on jeans and flannel and asked Cas what he had in mind for the afternoon.

“Record store?”

“Perfect!” smiled Dean.

The afternoon was sunny so they took Cas’ car with the top down and headed across town to Cas’ favorite record store. When they parked, Cas put the top up and locked the doors. They weren’t in a terrible neighborhood but it definitely wasn’t their usual part of town. The men moved through the door and Dean let out a whistle, “Where do we start?” he asked.

Cass moved directly to the counter. The young man behind the counter looked like a Hot Topic junkie to Dean. But Cas approached him the way one approaches an esteemed college professor. “Hello Derek,”

“Casteel man,” he said - slaughtering Cas’ given name. “What can I do ya for?”

“We’re looking for Johnny Cash. Would that be country, or Rock?”

“Cash. Yeah man. That’s tough. Its search-n-destroy. You’ll pry find some under gospel. There may even be some in the blues section. I wouldn’t be surprised to find some in country and rock too.” He paused before adding, “Good luck.”

Cas turned to Dean. “You heard the man,” he chuckled, “search-n-destroy. I say we split up.”

“Losers choice, CASTEEL” taunted Dean, using the mispronunciation of Castiel ruthlessly.

Cas gave him a pinched look. “I’ll take the gospel section” he said, dropping his voice deeper. “You can take rock if you want.”

Dean ambled over to the hand-made sign marking the Rock genre.

“Hey Dean?”

“Yeah.” Answered Dean, already distracted.

“The name of the game is don’t get side tracked.”

“Sure thing Cas.”

Cas bends over in the gospel section and gets to work. It’s tedious. Mostly because he’s not enjoying this section. But after forty five minutes and a nasty crick in his neck, Cas has one album to show for all his digging. It sure doesn’t look like anything he wants to spend real money on. The record cover is colorful and has a picture of a very young Mr. Cash on the front. The dustjacket and album are in good shape and it’s only marked 9.95. The problem is, Cas is afraid that Dean may actually buy it and make him listen to it.

He takes the album and walks over to where Dean is intently sifting through records. He has to chuckle. Dean’s got an armful. He carefully takes the stack from Dean who immediately begins pumping his arm up and down. “Damn, didn’t realize how heavy those were,” he grins at Cas.

“Dean,” Cas eyed him steadily, “this constitutes getting side tracked. How many do you have here?”

“I don’t know man, but I found some good stuff!” he says enthusiastically.

Cas took Dean’s stack and moved toward a sorting table. He set them down and started spreading them out. Dean looked torn, uncertain if he wanted to watch Cas appraise what he’s found or continue searching. He ended up choosing to follow Cas to the table and watch.

Cas shows Dean the record he found. “Gotta be honest Cas,” Dean smirks, “Not exactly what I had in mind.”

“Thank god!” Cas says, shoving the record towards Dean. “Go put this back.”

Dean doesn’t move from where he stands. He slides the record down between two others behind him without even looking at where he’s put it.

Cas gives him a sour look, “I hate when people do that.”

Dean averts his eyes and grins sheepishly before managing to distract him, “So, did I find anything good?”

Cas held up the double records set that was on top of Deans stack. “Is this more what you were looking for when you said you wanted to get Johnny Cash?”

“Yes.” Dean answered quickly. Cas hands it to him and tells him to check it for scratches while he looks through the rest of what Dean has picked up.

“Journey’s Greatest Hits?” he asks Dean.

“Sure. Why not?” Dean smiles guiltily.

“I already have this one.” Cas says quietly, handing it back to Dean and moving on to the next album in the stack. It’s John Denver’s Greatest Hits. “You don’t strike me as a John Denver fan,” says Cas, meeting Deans eye.

“I wouldn’t say I’m a fan.” Smiles Dean.

“Then why did you pick it up?”

“I thought you might like it. It’s like Dylan… but more… sunny?”

Cas smiles at Dean, pulls out the album and inspects it for scratches, putting it with the Johnny Cash.

“Ahh.” Cas says, smiling at the Jimi Hendrix. He pulls it out and checks the quality before sliding it onto their diversifying pile. Dean swells, realizing he’s found something Cas had already been wanting.

“Kenny Rogers, Dean?” Cas looks at Dean quizzically.

“Dude. The Gambler.”

“Touché” says Cas, handing it back to Dean.

“I’m putting this away?” Dean asks, surprised.

“Yes, I already own it, and several others.”

“You have Kenny Rogers in your collection. Damn, I didn’t see that comin!” Said Dean with obvious astonishment. Cas just gives him a smile.

Cas reviews Deans remaining albums to be sure none are scratched. As he’s stacking the albums he intends to buy, he suddenly goes still. Then, he looks toward the counter.

“Derek?” Cas calls loudly.

The man moves over toward the display cabinet that seems to have caught Cas attention. “You need something unlocked for you, man?”

“Perhaps.” Cas centers a calculating look on the sales clerk. “What album do I ask you about almost every time I come in here?”

“Beatles”

“And didn’t you say you’d call me when a copy of ‘Please, Please Me’ came through the door?”

Dean follows Dereks eyes as they drop to the case. “Aww shit man! I totally forgot. I’m sorry dude!” he apologizes lamely as he drops to one knee to fish out the album displayed behind glass and present it to Cas. Dean watches as Cas turns it over in his hands and examines it. Then he lays it on top of their stack of purchases with a smile. Then, he watches as Cas hands Derek the albums they won’t be buying. “You can make it up to me by putting these away for us.” Says Cas working to hold back a grin.

Derek takes the albums from him and heads to the register to ring up their purchases.

Cas watches Derek key in the four KISS albums that Dean picked up. He keeps his opinions to himself but groans a little on the inside. _Please don’t let the man try to play those while we fuck_ – he thinks to himself.

The Johnny Cash double album? That he’s looking forward to.

Derek places their purchases in a cardboard box. KISS, Kansas, Jimi Hendrix, John Denver, Johnny Cash and the cherry on top… The Beatles, Please please me!

That’ll be $607.56 says Derek.

“Jesus Mary and Joseph!” Cusses Dean. “How much were the KISS records?”

“We’ll pay _you_ to take the KISS records,” laughs Derek.

Cas and Derek both share a laugh as Cas hands his card over the counter. “That was mostly me,” Cas reassures Dean. Dean pulls the Beatles album from the box and looks at the price tag. $455. Holy Shit.

“I’ve been looking for that Beatles record for a long time. It completes my Beatles collection. I now have all their albums.” Said Cas with satisfaction.

 “You’re not complete without the Butcher Album says Derek waggling his eyebrows.”

“I don’t collect to impress other collectors,” Cas admonishes him. “I collect to have an original copy of each album by my favorite artists.”

“So if one rolled in here tomorrow, you wouldn’t buy it?” asks Derek.

“No,” confirms Cas, then a smile cracks across his face, “But I’d drive across town to get a look at it before you sold it to someone else!”

Dean is obviously confused by the conversation so Cas explains, “It’s just a rare cover art. When they were transitioning to American record companies one of their first albums was put out with a disturbing cover. Only a few were printed before the backlash so it’s something the serious collectors want to own.

Dean nods in understanding as they take their purchases and move to the door.

As they leave, Cas says to Derek, “Even if you got a copy of the Butcher Album, you wouldn’t remember to call me and tell me it was here anyway.”

“Poor Derek.” Said Dean as they exited, “You were so rough on him!”

“He calls me CASTEEL.” Said Cas sardonically, “every frickin time!”

 

 

 

Sam waits patiently for a reply from Ruby. Nothing. He starts walking again, considering where he’ll take her if she does agree to dinner. It would have to be somewhere memorable. Not some new trendy place full of pomp and exotic flavors – that would just be blatantly showing off. It would get him nowhere with her. The restaurant he chose would need to be a landmark kind of place, one that had been around since she was a kid, a place that she’d grown up with an awareness of but had never gotten to go to.

Cliff house. It was perfect. It wasn’t so over the top that he’d be seen as just trying to impress her with money either. It was a San Francisco icon. And, if he managed to get her in the sack? He’d take her back there for the champagne brunch the next morning. It could become their thing.

Why wasn’t she texting him back?

 

 

Dean and Cas spent Saturday evening comfortably sprawled out in Cas’ bedroom. They put on their new records and rolled joints for a while, singing along to Cas’ new Beatles album. Cas was clearly elated with his find.

Then, Dean got up to switch out the Beatles for the ‘Man in Black’. As Dean busied himself with that, Cas was ordering in dinner. They lazed about and listened to music while they ate and smoked some after dinner.

As Dean sprawled carelessly on the bed, listening to his new albums with Cas, he found himself toying idly the man’s belt loop. From there, a small triangle of soft skin caught his attention and he ran his finger along it slowly.  Cas twitched from the teasing tickle of it, which Dean found irresistible. He worked his finger over that spot again, pulling the shirt higher and higher to watch the man’s abdominal muscles flutter as he tickled him.

Soft kisses and licks followed and before too long, Dean was sliding Cas’ shirt off his shoulders. As good songs continued from the record player, Cas managed to get Dean divested of his shirt as well.

Cas lingered with his face close to Deans shoulder, lighting another joint and smiling as he teased his finger, thumb or tongue along Deans intricate pattern of freckles.

They rolled around together on the bed for quite a while, slowly undressing one another and taking their time to touch and taste and trade lazy kisses with quiet strokes.

Before too long, Cas found himself laying his cheek on Deans muscular thigh and simply watching Deans cock as he drug his finger gently along it. It would wiggle a little and start to fill. Cas would pick it up and roll it between his fingers slowly, just watching it grow plump. Then he’d hold it in his hand for a little bit and soon it would be small again. He was enjoying their soft playing, thinking about everything and nothing as he watched his man’s chest rising and falling, riding his finger along the bumps and ridges, over nipples, circling tender buds and then moving south again to wake up a lazy and half swollen cock again.

He felt Dean tracing fingers up and down his spine too; a single, solid, flowing motion that swooped down from his shoulder blade and through the valley at the small of his back before climbing back up to crest the soft mounds of his butt cheeks in one long, clever motion.

Dean would trace little circles and shapes on his perky ass cheeks, sometimes even squeeze them or rub them before sliding his hands back down again into the small of his back and up toward the cut of his shoulder blades. Their explorations were calm and gentle and as they moved from time to time to roll over or stretch, nothing but two naked men touching and exploring each other with no inhibitions.

While Cas was lying on his stomach, stretched the length of the bed with his arms crossed and his head resting on them, Dean found himself tracing a finger up and down his lover’s smooth thigh and his mouth watered a little as he focused on the sculpted ass laid out like dessert on the bed. He began pulling his body up over Cas, felt his soft skin slide over those perfect globes. He continued to press forward and roll his weight over the man until he felt his dick slide between those ample cheeks. He rolled his hips as his member became meatier and Cas responded with a soft moan, pressing his ass upward into Dean.

Dean raised his weight up and leaned back, parting Cas’ legs slowly, using his palms to spread the man’s cheeks apart and look at the deep, dark place where his dick always seemed to want to go. He traced his fingers there as Cas groaned again. Dean moved forward again pressing his heavy cock forward tantalizingly running the head of his cock over Cas’ waiting crack. Before too much longer, Dean reached for the lube.

Both men groaned with relief when Dean finally sunk in. Cas rested his head on his arms and pulled his legs even farther apart to allow Dean room to swivel his hips and penetrate Cas as deeply as he could. Cas was enjoying the feeling of Dean moving inside him and breathing on the back of his neck.

But Cas soon unfolded his arms and reached out to grasp the spindles of his headboard. As he slowly pulled his body weight forward, Dean felt it and let himself slide back out, almost all the way. Then, tantalizingly slow, Cas pushed back against the headboard while Dean pushed forward, fucking in deeply.

“Unnggh.” Was all either man could say.  They groaned together as they pulled apart and came back together again and again. As their thrusts became urgent, Cas noticed his dick pulsing against the sheet, trapped hot and untouched under him.

“Oh Dean,” Cas mumbled as his lover moved in him. Dean answered him by sliding his hand under Cas’ belly and rolling them to their sides. Cas instinctually pressed his ass back into Dean and they began a forward rolling motion, undulating slowly and together. It was soft and smooth and the beginning of a blossom of tingling heat near the base of Cas’ spine. It felt like Dean was rolling a ball of pleasure between them and it was growing.

As the tingling heat spread out from it’s origin, it became a pulsing need to get closer. Cas pressed back tighter into Dean and he pushed up further into Cas, both seeking and finding greater and greater pleasure as they moved together.

Their breath had started to speed up and before Cas could even begin to try and control it, the pleasure spread over him like hot gravy spreads over a plate. It covered every inch of him from his head to his toes and he locked his body tightly while it moved over him. It was a new kind of orgasm he’d never felt before. He felt Dean release in him and the man’s arms tighten around him. Dean continued to hold him tightly as they came down together. They laid there, in peaceful contentment for quite some time.

Eventually Cas noticed it had gotten dark outside. His ears picked up on the music again too. “This is a much better song with Johnny Cash singing it” said Cas, “I really like his records Dean. I’m glad we got them.”

“Who else sang this song?” asked Dean.

“I think it was Nine Inch Nails? I can’t remember. I don’t listen to much of that kind of music. I just remember the song. It had kind of a sickening sadness to it when they sang it. But when Cash sings it… it feels… it just… it sounds _real._ ”

Dean listened carefully to the rest of the song…

 

_What have I become?_

_My sweetest friend._

_Everyone I know goes away, in the end._

_And you could have it all…_

_My empire of dirt._

_I will let you down, I will make you hurt._

 

“It’s so sad.” Said Dean.

“Yeah. Gritty and real. He really sings like he means every word.” Cas said thought fully. “What’s your favorite song of his?”

“Umm, I think, walk the line.”

“Is it on this record?”

“Yeah, it was on the other side,” said Dean, moving to get up.

“Dean, you don’t have to get up…” Cas started to say, but Dean was already moving. “I’ll play you this while I’m in the shower,” he said.

The song was simple. Cas could see why Dean liked it…

 

_I keep a close watch on this heart of mine._

_I keep my eyes wide open all the time._

_I keep the ends out for the tie that binds,_

_Because your mine. I walk the line_.

 

Cas didn’t move. He just listened. When Dean came back he shut off the record player and climbed into bed with Cas, pulling the covers up over them both; laying his head closely on Cas’ pillow and his hand on Cas’ thigh. Soon it was morning, and a blaring alarm clock was shredding the peace that had settled into his bones.

 

Cas got up, showered and got ready for church. Again. He said good-bye to Dean who was getting ready to head to brunch.

Dean wondered if Sam would be there and if they would try to talk again.

 

 

 

Cas was miserable. Another Sunday dinner was nearing its close. Church had been unremarkable and dinner had been the same as every other. As he poked at his meat, he listened to the irritating voices of his family as they bantered about their frivolous lives.

“Castiel you look tired. You were looking a bit tired in church this morning too,” said his father at the dinner table. “What have you been doing with yourself lately?”

“Actually, I spent yesterday evening at home listening to music and went to bed early. Perhaps I’m coming down with something,” he tried – wondering what other excuse he could possibly make for having been drowsy in church. (Besides it being exceedingly boring.)

“I’m still convinced that Cas has met someone,” teased his father without a smile, “I think he just doesn’t want us to know who it is.”

“I wonder why that might be.” Said Cas, finding his voice and addressing the entire table. “Could it be that I live in a family that is so judgmental that I might possibly meet an amazing person and fall in love but not be able to share my joy with my own family?”

_What am I doing…? I didn’t plan this… shut up, shut up. Back track now._

Cas looked to Anna for help. How could he recover from this?

“Son, what makes you think you can’t tell us that you’ve fallen in love? I’ve suspected as much for a while now. Clearly, I have no problem accepting the spouses of my children.” Said Charles Milton the Third as he swept his hand in a grand gesture toward his daughter’s husbands.

“Okay, that’s it. I’m tired of having to hide who I am and who I love from my family. If you all love me then you will continue to love me no matter my choices, right? Even if they are choices that you would not have made in my place?”

“Castiel,” said his mother disparagingly, “why don’t you tell us who you’ve met and wait to accuse us of being judgmental until you’ve given us the opportunity not to be.”

“Well said, mother!” baited Anna. “I will also withhold judgement, Cassie. Tell us.”

 _Well, in for a penny – in for a pound_ thought Cas.

“Thank you mother and Anna. You are correct, father. I’ve met someone. His name is Dean Winchester and he’s the love of my life. I have never been happier.”

There was no noise. The entire room was inhaling deeply.

“You’re gay?” asked his father.

“Yes.” Cas answered firmly.

“Castiel,” his father said, rising from his chair, “if you had come to me to discuss this problem and offer your genuine heartfelt sorrow for your actions then I would have taken you with nothing but pity and forgiveness in my heart.” He paused, leveling a challenging glare at Cas, “But you have not been sorrowful or humble. You’ve stood with your blasphemous, sinful lifestyle and falsely presented it as if it were something to be proud of. You challenge your family to join you in your celebration of the unholy lifestyle you’ve chosen and you have no repentance for your actions.” His fathers chest was heaving and his eyes were steel, “I rebuke you until the day you seek forgiveness and end your entanglement with this sinful way of life.”

“Father,” began Anna…

“Get out Castiel. Get out of this house.” There was complete silence as Cas looked around to the table to see the faces of each his mother and his siblings.

His father leaned in over the table to Cas and said firmly, “Do not make me throw you out of here boy.”

Cas dropped his napkin to his plate and moved to the door. He’d expected nothing more and nothing less. At least it was finally over. Now all he had to do was get used to it.

He turned once more to look back his family. They were all shocked into silence. His mother was dabbing her eyes with a napkin. His father was still pointing toward the door. Anna was moving toward him. He waited for her. She took his hand and looked back at her family.

“I wish you all the kind of heaven that you believe is up there.” She said firmly, “Because not one of you would be welcome there.” She took a few more steps, pulling Cas along with her, before she turned and forced him to turn back and face the room one last time.

“And in the interest of finally telling the truth about who we are…” she said a bit louder, “I am about to be Anna Wellington.” There’s a sharp intake of breath from her mother at the table.

Anna takes a deep breath as she prepares to sink the life raft of every sibling, “Hanna’s had two abortions. Hester and Phillip have been screwing since she was fourteen. And, he wasn’t even her first lover!” half a dozen shocked faces stared back at her with jaws wide open. “Count the years father,” Anna said calmly. “How old was Phillip when Hester was fourteen?”

“Father, you are responsible for the deaths of actual people. Their blood money paid for the opulence of this house. Who do you all think you are?” she berated them calmly as she looked back at Cas with a nod.

Anna looked back at her family one last time, “You all can go to hell” she said quietly, and with that, she and Cas walked out the door which closed heavily behind them.

“Holy shit Anna!” Cas gaped at her. “Where did all that come from?”

“I don’t really know. It’s not what I rehearsed at all.” She said timidly.

“You rehearsed?” he laughed, picking her up and hugging her tightly.

“Let’s get out of here,” she breathed into his neck, “I never want to come here again.”

They began walking to their cars when Cas looked at her, “Hester?”

“Yeah Cas. She was thirteen the first time. Thirteen.”

“Damn”

“Yep. We’re quite virtuous in comparison, don’t you think?”

 


	8. Life Isn't Fair

Cas sat down behind the wheel of his car and looked around at this family home. This was the last time he’d see it, of that he was sure. His only view to it, were he ever to drive by, would be the outside of the metal gate that his remote would no longer open.

His remote, his keys to the Bentley, his keycard for Baxter/Milton, his corporate cards, the family credit cards and accounts at local businesses… it was all gone. There was nothing material that would link Cas to their family. If he had balls of steel he could go into Baxter/Milton and at the security desk he’d be handed a box of the personal items that had been gathered from his office, like any other disgraced employee, but there was nothing in his office that he’d miss – besides perhaps the picture of he and Anna together that he’d kept on his desk.

Cas took a deep breath as he started his car, following Anna out the gate and onto the street. He had no idea where he was going. Home? Deans? Where was Anna going?

As they pulled out on Sea Cliff Avenue, he pulled out his phone and shot her a text asking her destination. She responded immediately that she was going with him wherever he was going. He sent Dean a text…

“I just pulled the trigger. Sorry no warning – it wasn’t planned. Meet me at my place?”

He pulled up to the stop light and waited behind Anna. Before it even turned green, he’d received a response from Dean…

“On my way.”

Cas shot another text to Anna that he was going home and thanked her for coming with him. Then, he turned on some music in an effort to keep himself from dwelling on the enormity of what they’d just done. He found several good songs as they cruised down the expressway but found he couldn’t force himself to sing along with any. He was wound up too tight. There was an overwhelming tightness in his chest; a constricting weight pressing in on him.

He couldn’t even name an emotion to go with it, couldn’t put into words what he was feeling. Was it sadness? Greif? Loss? Anger? Frustration? He had no idea what he was feeling. Perhaps having Anna and Dean at his place wasn’t the best thing after all. Maybe what he really needed was time to himself to figure out how he really felt about things – and what he needed.

 

 

 

 

When Dean walked through the door for Sunday brunch, Sam was already here. He followed the sound of voices into the kitchen and found his mother giving Sam a lesson on how to make crepes. There were various fillings spread out on the counter and Dean chuckled despite himself as he walked in and saw Sam trying to gently flip one over on itself. He was unsuccessful and when it tore it made a huge mess on the plate.

“I don’t care,” he declared, as he covered it with his mom’s homemade whip cream, “it’ll still taste just as good.” As Dean moved toward them he slung his jacket over the back of a chair and leaned in to give his mother a warm hug. As he glanced around the room he realized that the table in the kitchen was set for brunch when they normally ate in the dining room. _That’s new_ – he thought to himself.

Mary poured batter into her skillet and asked Dean what he wanted in his crepe. His eyes darted around at the various ingredients she had sitting out. “Cherries” he said, pushing the bowl toward her, “and cream cheese” he finished. He looked over at Sam who was inhaling his crepe at the table. There was a large bowl of fruit salad and a platter of muffins on the table too so Dean moved over toward his brother and sat down. He chose a muffin and cut it in half, spreading butter on it. The silence weighed heavily. He could feel his mother watching them but pretending not to.

“Good morning, Sam.” Dean tried.

“Dean” his brother nodded, taking another bite.

Dean tried again, “what’s in yours?”

“Nutella and bananas” Sam wasn’t looking at him. It stung. He sat there quietly, looking at Sam and feeling like shit.

“Dean?” his mother called, “bring me your plate?”

He stood with his plate and moved over to the counter while she laid his wrap on his plate for him and spooned cream cheese mix in the middle of it and covered it with cherry topping. She used the corner of her spatula to artfully flip the sides of it closed and turn it over on his plate. She gave him a sweet smile and gestured for him to add whip cream if he wanted while she turned to the stove and started another crepe. He returned to the table and began to eat. It was delicious. He watched his mother making her own plate and feeling the coolness coming from Sam’s side of the table.

Dean relaxed back in his chair and continued eating. He decided to go for it, and said, “Sam, I’d really like it if we could try again to talk. Can we find some time for that after we eat?”

“Sure Dean.”

Just as that was said, his mother joined them at the table. The air felt lighter with her there. She explained that from now on she’d prefer to eat brunch in the kitchen but supplied no reason for the change. The boys both agreed and smiled at her.

As they ate, she chatted with them easily about the things she’d had going on that week and asked about their lives too. Before the meal was finished, Sam abruptly got up and left the room to take an important call. It was strange. Who was calling Sam with an important call? He was a student, was study group postponed? Dean laughed at his inner monologue and took advantage of Sam’s absence to tell his mother that he and Cas were planning to take a trip next weekend and go rafting. She said it sounded like fun and was glad he was going to be able to get out of town for a few days. He reassured her that he’d be back for brunch on Sunday and she told him if he ended up staying longer and missed brunch it would be ok.

Then she told him again how much fun she’d had with him at the soccer game and thanked Dean for bringing her. She put her hand over his and told him she was happy for him and Cas. He paused his eating (inhaling) to smile and thank her for supporting them.

Just then Sam came clomping back in the room. He moved around to his mother’s side of the table and wrapped an arm around her saying, “I’m so sorry mom, but somethings come up and I have to go. I’ll call you later, ok?”

She said ok and hugged him back. He left quickly without acknowledging Dean at all. He and his mother finished eating and then began cleaning up the mess. When the counter was cleared he asked her what game they could play with just the two of them.

She paused to think for a moment, “Jenga?”

He grinned at her. “Ok”

She set up the tower at the kitchen table and just as they were getting ready to start, Dean got a text from Cas…

“I just pulled the trigger. Sorry no warning – it wasn’t planned. Meet me at my place?”

Dean immediately typed out his reply and looked up at his mother. “I’m so sorry mom. I have to go too. Cas just came out to his family and it’s gonna be a big deal”

“Do you know what happened?”

“No. Only that it happened and that it wasn’t planned. I have no idea where this leaves things for him but my guess is that there was some heavy drama at his Sunday dinner.” He looked up at Mary and met her eye for the first time, “he’s gonna need me mom.” She nodded to him. “Mom, I need to tell Sam. Once I do, I think I will be done keeping this secret.”

She gave him another solemn nod and pulled him into a warm hug. “Good.” She said firmly. “Call me if you need anything ok?”

“Ok”

 

 

 

 

 

Dean ran up the stairs to Cas’ condo not wanting to wait for the elevator. He flung open the door with chest heaving to find Cas and Anna seated on the couch. He moved into the room breathing hard and they both stood as he entered.

Cas met his eye and Dean could immediately see what was needed. He crossed the room quickly and pulled the man into a tight hug. Cas just sort of glopped onto Dean, tucking his head into Deans neck and holding on tightly. Dean spared a glance over to Anna. She didn’t appear in need of a hug but something in her posture begged the invitation. Dean tilted his head to her and gestured for her to come to them. She did and he opened up his arm and pulled her into them. The three of them stood there for a long time, embraced tightly. Dean pecked each of their heads with a kiss but kept quiet, letting them take all the time they needed.

 

 

 

 

Across town, Sam was pacing in a conference room at Winchester Law. He’d never been in this particular room before and he’d definitely never been in the office on a Sunday. He was deeply aware that his father’s office was just a few dozen yards away. It was harder than it should have been to keep from going in there to look around. He wanted to go, but he didn’t. He stood still, not knowing what to do.

 

 

 

 

Anna was the first to break out of the group hug. She moved to the kitchen. Dean could hear her moving around out there. Cas picked up his head and looked at Dean with wet eyes. “I can’t believe it’s done.” He said quietly. “I’ve spent so much time thinking about what I’d say when the time finally came. And then when it did… my performance was very underwhelming. I didn’t get to say any of the things I meant to.”

They moved to the couch and sat down. Cas folded into Deans arms to tell the story of what had happened. When he’d recounted the events for Dean he laid his head back down on the man’s shoulder.

“So…” said Dean, watching Anna’s face as she came back in the room “basically Anna is my new hero!” he grinned at her as he said it.

“Mine too” said Cas softly.

Anna set down a plate of sandwiches she’d put together and a couple bottles of beer and water. She grabbed a bottle of water and sat down on the chair next to the sofa to face the boys.

“What’s gonna happen next?” asked Dean.

“I don’t know” said brother and sister in unison. Anna smiled. Her phone chirped and she took it out, read her message and dashed off a quick response. “Michael,” she said to Dean and Cas. “I’ve told him what’s happened and he wants to be there for me but I’ve asked him not to come here.” She supplied.

“Thank you” said both boys. Dean added, “I don’t think I’m quite ready to have him be in my personal space yet.” Cas nodded his ascent.

“I know,” she said. “I really appreciated the effort you both made at the game the other night.”

“Do you love him, Anna?” asked Dean.

“Yes. I do.” She smiled to him.

He nodded and told himself that he’d have to do his best to be accepting of the man. Anna was a remarkable woman and she was now without a family. He would have to do anything he could to be accepting of her choices and be her surrogate family.

They spent an hour or so talking about how things would be going forward. She confirmed for Dean that she and Cas would be public enemy number one and two as far as the Milton’s were concerned. They wouldn’t be allowed back on business or family property. Any connections they had through the Milton network were severed for them. Any money, credit or loans that would’ve been available to them were gone. The trust fund money they’d moved would be all they had, and it would have to last a very long time. She was unsure how long it would take for she and Cas to find work as her parents would certainly make sure they were blackballed within their industry.

Dean asked Cas what he felt he might like to do for work. “Do you even like the work you’ve been doing Cas? Is that even a field you want to work in?”

“I’m not sure,” said Cas, “I know I’m good at it. I guess I have some thinking to do.” He said.

“We both do.” Said Anna. Then she focused in on Cas. “You need to remember something, Cas. You have an Ivy League education. You are young and handsome and charismatic. You have a broad skillset. You have a bright future. Most young men graduating from school go out into the world far less equipped then you are - and they build wonderful lives for themselves.”

“It’s too soon for the pep talk Anna.” Said Cas miserably.

“I disagree. You need to force yourself to focus on what you have, rather than on what you’ve lost.” She thumped him on the knee for good measure, stood up and grabbed her purse.

Cas sat up ramrod straight, “Are you leaving?”

“Yes,” she said firmly, “You don’t need me here now. You’ll need me tomorrow when he goes to work and you’re here alone. Just try to enjoy sleeping late if you can. Then when you wake up… call me and I’ll come over, ok?”

“Ok” he said, standing to hug her goodbye.

Dean met Anna’s eye over top of Cas’ head and mouthed the word ‘Thank You’.  She smiled warmly in acknowledgement.

Once she’d gone, Dean put his arm around Cas’ shoulder and they moved to the bedroom. Cas flopped on the bed and Dean moved to the record player. The shelves that held Cas’ vinyl collection spanned most of that wall. There were hundreds and hundreds to choose from and still, sometimes it was hard to pick one.

Trusting an old favorite to be a comfort for Cas, Dean put on Bob Dylan’s ‘Freewheelin’ album and counted the rings to get to ‘Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright’. Then he put the needle to the record and moved to the bathroom to grab a joint from the bathroom drawer. He lit it on the way to the bed, handing it to Cas and knowing it would take the edge off whatever overwhelming feelings the man was having.

Then, as Dylan’s vibrant guitar and voice filled the room he said to Cas, “You know Bobby D was quoted as saying, ‘What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.”

Cas looked at Dean as he inhaled. He gave a nod and then leaned back into the pillows to stare at the ceiling.

“Thanks Dean.”

 

 

 

 

 

When Dean’s alarm went off the next morning, he silenced it quickly hoping not to wake up Cas. Had it not been for Anna planning to come over today and be with Cas, he would’ve called in sick to avoid leaving the man alone.

Knowing that she was going to be here for Cas today made it easier to hop in the shower and get ready for work as usual.

He and Cas had spent most of the night in quiet reflection, listening to records and occasionally talking about things in short bursts. After they’d made love, Cas had fallen into a deep sleep.

Dean paused to applaud his ‘inner self’ for not recoiling at his minds use of the words ‘made love’.

After all, that’s what they did now. They were in love, so when they had sex, they made love. Pure and simple.

Even when they were doing dirty, nasty things to each other… underneath it all, it was still love. And Dean found that, surprisingly, he was okay with it.

He greeted Ava as he walked into his office and immediately set to work. Ava popped her head in shortly before 10am and said that his presence had been requested on the executive level. She handed him a scrap of paper – the little prefilled out sheets that all the secretaries used when taking a message. It indicated which conference room he needed to go to but not the time.

“When?” he asked her as she was exiting his office.

“Immediately,” she replied.

Dean tucked the paper in his pocket and threw on his suit jacket as he headed for the elevator. It was easier than before to walk past John’s office and waiting area. He didn’t look at it, but he was hyper-aware as he passed it.

When he opened the door to the conference room, he found the table surrounded by the executive level attorneys… and… Sam?

Dean looked at his brother questioningly but his brother afforded him nothing. He had on a perfectly smooth Winchester poker face.

Dean glanced around the table as he took a seat.

“Good morning, Mr. Winchester.” Said Brad Stevens, the only man in the room without grey hair that wasn’t a Winchester.

“Good morning.” Dean replied. He was beginning to have a sinking feeling. He couldn’t put his finger on what it was (besides the presence of his brother) that was nagging at him, but something wasn’t right.

“Let’s get down to business, shall we gentlemen?” Dean looked up to see who that voice belonged to. He didn’t think he could put a name with the face. The older man’s face was a bit round, his body heavy. His posture was tense. He picked up a stack of papers and moved to sit in the chair next to Dean, and looked directly at him when he spoke.

“Mr. Winchester, I know this is the first time you’ve sat with the new board of directors so I’ll take a moment to introduce us, in case there are faces you don’t know. My name is William Bixler. You can call me Bill.”

Bill went around the table introducing everyone and then said, “Of course your brother Sam is also a board member.”

Dean glanced at Sam who was not looking at him.

“Mr. Winchester, this board met yesterday under emergency circumstances. There are provisions for an emergency meeting in the language that binds the Board’s actions. It allows us to meet while excluding the presence of a member if that member’s actions show sufficient evidence of having malice against the firm or causing a danger to it.” He paused for a moment to allow Deans mind to catch up, to grasp the fact that there had been an emergency board meeting and that he’d been excluded from it. The word malice leapt to the front of his mind and lingered there.

“Mr. Winchester, this firm has suffered a tremendous loss.” He paused again and Dean thought the man was referring to the loss of John Winchester. But he wasn’t. “Yesterday, one of our biggest clients placed a call to us and pulled their business from our firm entirely. Baxter/Milton Pharmaceuticals will no longer be using Winchester Law as their legal representation. They’ve severed ties. When they did that, they took almost fifteen percent of our annual operating budget for the current fiscal year with them. Additionally, there is some question as to whether they will even be paying for the hours they’re being billed for the current quarter.”

The room was silent. All eyes were on Dean.

“Do you understand what that kind of loss means to this firm, Dean?” said Mr. Bixler. “Do you realize that this means an automatic 10% reduction in staff? We have to lay off people immediately to cover the loss. People will lose their jobs because of this. Those who are left will likely not receive any profit sharing or bonuses for the first time in a decade or more. People will be angry and frustrated. We, as people and as a company, are going to be hurting financially until we can pull in enough new clients to make up for the loss. This is catastrophic.”

Dean’s mind flashed back to John. He remembered his father’s words at their brunch in Las Vegas when Dean had come out to him…

“Oh Dean,” John had said, “Hit a man where it hurts. They’re one of our biggest clients.”

 

Dean nearly doubled over under the weight of the sickness that was pressing on him. His new mission became to just not throw up in the conference room.

 

“Mr. Winchester,” Bills strong tone snapped his attention back to the dialog taking place, “You’re presence at Winchester Law has always been a bit of a nightmare from an HR standpoint. The number of sexual complaints we’ve had against you from the lower level staff have been a point of frustration for some time. Claims of harassment have always proved unfounded, but your continual romantic entanglements with these women over the years have caused many problems that we’ve overlooked.” Dean stared at his knees in shame. “Now, do you know what two words were given to this firm as the reason for Baxter/Milton leaving us?” there was no audible pause. The question was rhetorical. Bill answered it himself. “Dean Winchester.” Dean looked back up at Bill.

 

“That’s right Mr. Winchester. Charles Milton III has cited you as the single and solitary reason why he’s ending his business relationship with us and taking his millions with him.”

 

Dean was having trouble breathing.

 

“It is for this reason, Dean, which the board has voted to let you go.” He paused and then said, “I’m sorry, Mr. Winchester, but this is the end of your employment with Winchester Law.”

 

Dean found himself unable to look at Sam. He focused instead on the two men in the room who knew with certainty why this had happened. Both Norman Spencer and Brad Stevens were looking at him with sad eyes. He nodded to them slightly, hoping he had conveyed thanks for their solidarity.

“This isn’t fair,” croaked Dean. It sounded childish, even to his own ears. He felt Sam turn his head and looked over at his brother.

Sam was watching him closely, poker face still in holding.

“How many?” he asked Bill, turning his attention back to the face of the man who had just fired him, “How many votes were needed to remove me?”

“All of them.” He said flatly. “Removing a board member from employment requires a unanimous decision by the board.”

Dean looked back at Sam. Despite his best efforts his chin quivered and his eyes got wet when he said, “You voted to have me fired?”

Sam stood and looked him square in the eye. “I was presented with information that deemed it appropriate.”

Dean crossed the room and stood toe to toe with Sam. “You what?”

“You heard me Dean. You’ve been keeping some pretty big secrets. Now they’re biting you in the ass. Don’t make this about me. You’re getting fired today. I just happen to be here.”

Dean didn’t even realize what was happening until he felt the satisfying crack of his fist connecting with Sam’s jaw. He watched in slow motion as his Sasquatch-sized baby brother fell to the floor of the conference room like a sack of potatoes.

Suddenly everyone was moving. All the grey haired men around the table rushed to pull Dean away from Sam. Sam got to his feet quickly and stepped forward towards Dean with a fighter’s posture.

“Dad would never have stood for this!” shouted Dean at his brother.

“Dad didn’t know about your little gay lover!” shouted Sam.

“The fuck he didn’t!” countered Dean, surging forward to strike at Sam again. He was being restrained by many hands and so was Sam. Dean stepped back and looked to Spencer and Stevens, “Tell him! Tell him that Dad knew about me and Cas!”

The room got quiet as Dean watched Sam get nods from both men, confirming that John had been aware of Dean and Cas’ relationship. Sam looked to the floor for a moment and then back to Dean.

“Why didn’t I know?” he asked Dean in a soft voice. Dean had to think hard to even remember the reason.

“It was a secret. We were only telling people on an ‘as needed’ basis Sam. You didn’t need to know.”

“Clearly I did!” shouted Sam. “How could you keep that from me Dean?” the question wasn’t meant to be answered. Sam didn’t give him time to answer. He starred accusingly at Dean, “How could you risk so much?”

“I didn’t know this would happen, Sam.”

“You should have.” Said an unidentified voice in the room. Dean could hear ascent from several other voices. But the only voice he was really focusing on was Sam.

“Dad wouldn’t have let me be fired for this.” Said Dean firmly to Sam.

“To his detriment” replied Sam, “He’s gone now Dean. He’s not here anymore to baby you and clean up your messes. You’re going to have to start realizing that.”

Dean lunged at his brother again but was restrained this time, “You self-righteous son of a bitch!” Dean spat at him while he struggled against the hands that held him back, “Dad cleaned up your messes too you fucking ungrateful bastard!” Dean was gasping for breath as he shouted at his brother, “You’d be on the Sex Offender’s Registry right now if it wasn’t for our dad! How dare you lecture me! How dare you!”

Sam gaped at Dean, clearly having long ago forgotten his indiscretion and what had been done to prevent action against him.

“Come to think of it,” began Dean as he calmly stepped back and disengaged from the hands that had held him back from his brother, “Knowing my father, I’m betting there’s more than just me and Sam in this room who’ve been protected by John Winchester at the hour of their indiscretions. He looked at the faces of the men who were staring at him.

Bill Bixler was the first to speak. “Dean. We’re sorry. We are. None of us wanted to do this. But it was necessary. The decision has been made and will be followed through on. Your services as Special Projects Coordinator are no longer required.” There was a long pregnant pause before he continued in a more reassuring tone, “You still own a very large share of this company. You are still a wealthy man. The loss of your job from a financial standpoint is a small price to pay. We’ve told Mr. Milton that you’re being removed from the company and asked him to reconsider. We are hopeful that he will. Please do what’s best for the company and leave quietly. Don’t rile up the staff. It’s going to be a rough week for them already as we start laying off and you’ll only make it worse.”

Dean nodded slowly as Mr. Bixler pressed a stack of papers into his hands. He turned to leave. As he put his hand on the door handle, he looked back at Sam. His brother was staring at him angrily, chin held high. _Arrogant prick -_ thought Dean as he closed the door.

When he walked toward the elevator his feet betrayed him. They carried into John’s old office. It was very quiet. God help him, it still smelled like his father in here. His shoulders slumped. Alone now, there was no reason to fight the tears. He let them fall as he looked around. He sat down in the chair he’d occupied the times he’d been here.

For some reason his mind traveled back to the times he’d been brought here as a child. He’d sit and color or wander about and touch the items that lined shelves. The office was large even to a grown man, but as a child it had felt like a museum. His younger-self had known even then, his father was an important man. He’d watched his father, larger than life, sitting behind his giant desk and making important decisions.

Dean got back to his feet and wiped his tears on his suit jacket sleeve. He’d betrayed his father when he took a swing at Sam. He regretted it already. Of all the people he’d had an urge to punch over the last year… Sam is the one he’d finally struck? It was wrong on so many levels.

Dean walked slowly around his father’s desk and sat down in the chair. The view was so different from John’s side of the desk. He inhaled deeply, trying to memorize the smell. When he opened his eyes he saw the photos that his father had chosen to keep on his desk. There was one of him with his wife, they were outside and the sun was shining on Mary’s hair. They were both smiling with their arms around one another, young and in love. There was also a shot of Dean and Sam as young boys, leaning against the Impala. On the other side of the desk were two frames, one each for Dean and Sam. Their prep school graduation photos… caps, gowns and all. Dean wiped his eyes again. He picked up the frame that held the photo of him and Sam and walked out of the room.

As he exited John’s office and headed to the elevator, he had no idea that Sam had watched him go.


	9. A Glimpse of Fifteen

Dean moved into the parking garage and settled into the Impala on autopilot, but had no idea where he really wanted to go. He knew on some vague level that he wanted to go home, but more overpowering was the urge to be where Cas was. The problem with that is that Cas was busy drowning in his own problems… was it really fair to go to him for comfort now? Definitely not. Dean briefly considered just going to a bar.

He turned the key and put his attention on driving, assuming that he’d figure out the destination as he drove.

 

 

 

Sam watched Dean move to the elevator and then entered John’s office for the first time since his father’s death. He looked around slowly, taking in the dark paneling and rich materials of the carpet and the drapes.

When he closed his eyes and envisioned the kind of office he’d like to have one day – it looked a lot like this one. Traditional. Elegant. Stately.

He walked to the desk and drug his finger along it as he moved around its girth, eventually ending up at John’s chair, but he couldn’t bring himself to sit in it. He’d done wrong in his father’s eyes today, and he knew it. The fact that John Winchester hadn’t been alive to watch one of his sons betray the other didn’t ease his guilt one bit. In fact, it doubled it.

 _What have I done?_ Thought Sam.

Being in this room really brought him back to the sense of who his father was and how his father had done things. Dean had been right. John would never have allowed his son to be fired simply for having a relationship – of any kind. If Charles Milton wanted lash out because of his son and Dean… that was his own problem to deal with.

John wouldn’t have been happy with the situation, but he would’ve dealt with it. He would’ve stood behind his son.

And, Sam thought miserably, he wouldn’t have jumped immediately to laying off ten percent of the workforce to try and minimize the cash flow drain. His father was very committed to his employees. He would’ve found some way to cover the loss in the short term while he sat behind this impressive desk and deduced some brilliant way of reestablishing the needed cash flow in the longer term.

No one beyond this door would ever know how hard John had worked not to lay anyone off. Neither of his sons would ever know what he’d sacrificed to keep things spinning. It was all part of that patented ‘Winchester Smoothness’ that the man had often referred to.

His father had taken the cream of the crop of Winchester Law and put them together with his sons, handing them all the power to run the place should he die.

And now that he was gone, what had they done? At the first sign of trouble they had completely abandoned everything John would’ve wanted them to do and over-reacted. They’d traded off the strong stance that John would’ve taken and they’d cast out one of their own and begged the Milton’s to reconsider.

Ugh. John would never have begged. Never.

What was the underlying threat that had caused the entire board to run scared-shitless and submit to that bigoted asshole Charles Milton? Money. He’d sold his brother out for money. He was Judas.

Of course when he’d been participating in the emergency board meeting (his first ever board meeting) he hadn’t known that John had been aware of Deans sudden lifestyle shift into the male dating pool. But in hind sight, he should’ve known that John had been aware. The man missed nothing.

Sam realized now that he’d simply been drunk with power. Being shut out of Deans personal life had hurt him deeply; and he’d been all too keen to repay that hurt to his brother.

But when the moment had come… when he’d seen his brother, angry enough to swing, and calling Sam self-righteous… he’d instantly known it was true. He **had** been self-righteous. Dean’s accusations were a harsh spotlight shining on Sam and having Dean remind him of his own secrets and indiscretions had cut deep. Now the entire board knew what Dean knew; and that was the least of his problems.

How could he ever fix what had gone down today?

Sam hadn’t been thinking from John’s point of view when he’d considered the situation and cast his vote. He’d been short-sighted and angry, almost gleeful that Dean would be punished for the secret he’d kept from Sam. But he hadn’t thought about what this would to Dean or to himself or even to the company in the long term. He also hadn’t given the slightest consideration to what his father would’ve wanted him to do. He’d been rash. He’d been immature. He’d been selfish. He could see it all so clearly now in hindsight.

As Sam stood there with one hand on his father’s chair, his eyes wandered up to the three picture frames that sat on his father’s desk. One held a photo of his mother and father together. The other two were of Dean and Sam at graduation. They were clearly the three most important people in the life of John Winchester.

 _Oh my God_ – thought Sam. _What is mom going to say?_ How had he not considered that when he voted?

“Shit, shit, fuck!” Sam cursed out loud. “FUUUCK!”

 

 

 

 

Dean moved out of the elevator and to the door of Cas’ condo. As he placed his hand on the knob, he heard something he hadn’t expected to hear. Music.

He paused a moment to listen. It was that British shit that Cas seemed to listen to when Dean wasn’t around. He turned the key in the lock and let himself in. Anna and Cas were at the table playing cards and singing along to the music. As he approached the table it was clear they were both drunk. He watched them for a few minutes. It was quite comical. They were playing some kind of drinking game and goading each other mercilessly. It was hysterical to watch and Dean found himself smiling at their banter.

When Cas noticed Dean standing there he smiled at him brightly. Damn. It still did something to Dean’s stomach every time. The man was just a force of nature and something about him stirred feelings in Dean that he’d never quite been able to understand.

Neither of the siblings got up to turn down the music. They continued taking turns flipping over cards that were facing down on the table while they sang along to the energetic tune pumping through the condo. Cas got up from the table and moved toward Dean while grinning and singing along boldly…

 

_Lay yourself down on the side of the bed…_

_Oh you naughty girl you know you tickle me red!_

_You look so dumb and ya sound so sweet…_

_You could only wish that you were married to me!_

 

Dean couldn’t help but return the wide smile as his man reached forward, wrapping a fist into Dean’s shirt and pulled him into a sloppy kiss despite the fact that Anna was sitting just a few feet away. When Dean chanced a glance at her, he saw that she didn’t mind at all. She had a wide smile – clearly loving seeing her brother so happy. Dean returned his attention to his lover who had snagged his hand and was pulling him toward the bedroom. For the shortest moment, Dean forgot all about being fired and followed his man towards the bedroom wondering what was about to happen.

Cas moved to the IPOD dock and paused the music, then turned and gave Dean a very sensual kiss, letting his hand brush along the curve of Deans ass. Cas broke the kiss too soon and moved back out toward the table, walking backwards to talk to Dean as he went. Dean followed that flirty smile like a puppy follows a ball.

“Did you drop by to have lunch with the newly unemployed?” asked Cas, moving toward the table where Anna was picking up the cards.

“No Cas. I’m here because I’ve been fired.”

Cas looked at him, saw that he was serious and the smile slowly faded from his face. “What happened?”

“Your father moves fast, Cas.”

Anna stopped moving and watched them. No one spoke. “I need to sit down,” said Cas. He looked to Anna and she looked to Dean. The three of them sat down around the table. She tapped the deck of cards nervously.

“Do you guys need some privacy?” she asked.

“No.” Dean said. “But you could bring me a drink, if you’re feeling like being helpful.”

Dean looked over at Cas as she got up from the table to pour him a drink but there wasn’t really anything to say. He could go over all the details with them, but what would it matter? What’s done is done. More than anything else, he was just tired now and didn’t want to get into a discussion.

He took the tumbler that Anna handed him and nodded his thanks to her.

“What did he do?” Cas asked.

“He called up the office and told them that he was pulling all his business from Winchester Law and then gave them my name as the reason.”

Anna and Cas stared at each other.

“I should’ve known,” said Anna, “I should’ve seen it coming and warned you Dean,” she leveled a stare at him and said, “I was so wrapped up in what he’d to do Cas and I… it never even occurred to me to worry about you… but it should have.”

“S’okay” said Dean, leaning back and downing his drink, “let me just catch up with you guys on drinks and join the ranks of the unemployed. It was lookin pretty damn fun when I walked in here.” He grinned at them.

Anna moved back to the counter and grabbed the whiskey. She refilled Dean’s cup and left him the bottle. Then she sat back down at the table and picked up the cards again.

“Don’t let me stop you honey,” smirked Dean, “lay the cards out and explain whatever game you crazy kids were playin’ when I busted in here and killed your buzz!”

“It’s Memory, Dean. You know – like toddlers play. You think you can keep up?”

“You’re joking” he dead-panned to her.

“Not in the least. It’s quite an effective drinking game. You’ll be drooling like a toddler in no time.”

“I’m in” he said. Then he looked over at Cas. You gonna put the music back on?”

“Hell yes,” he smiled.

While Cas was gone, Anna began laying out lines of cards in a grid pattern, face down.

“Okay, so each person gets to pick up two cards. If they are a matched set – you keep them and get to make someone else drink. If they don’t match, you have to drink. Simple, right?”

“You guys have been playing this all morning and your still standing?” Dean asked, impressed.

Anna answered him just as Cas restarted the music so she had to repeat herself to be heard over it. “No,” she smiled, “we’ve only played one round of this. Before this we were just talking.” Dean heard the click of a lighter from behind him and smelled the rich and sweet scent of good weed. Cas handed him the joint and sat down in his chair next to Dean, already singing along again…

 

_Well, that’s what you get!_

_No don’t get upset!_

_Ridiculous you, waiting in the que – whoopee do!_

_You could have been, the best that I’ve seen,_

_Under the red light! Everybody knows you cried last night!_

 

Dean found his head bobbing to the bouncy tune as he tried and failed to remember where any two of the same cards were located on the board. The three of them passed around the joint and laughed themselves silly as Dean took shot after shot after shot and was soon enjoying a solid buzz and good company.

“If this is unemployment…” he said loudly as he stood, “… then BRING IT ON!”

Anna and Cas cheered and whistled as Dean staggered to the bathroom to take the world’s longest piss.

When he exited the bathroom, the music was over and Cas was at the record player. He glanced over his shoulder at Dean, “Any requests?”

“KISS” said Dean grinning and swerving into the wall as he tried to walk back to the kitchen.

Cas’ shoulders slumped as he put the record on the turntable and forced himself to set the needle down on the record. I’m going to have to stage a fire so I can get rid of these KISS records, he thought. The intro to ‘Lick It Up’ swelled through the condo.

 _Well shit._ Thought Cas. _There goes my buzz._ Then he smiled as he thought - _On the bright side… at least I’m not having to fuck to it._

 

 

 

Sam was in a fog as he left the offices of Winchester Law. He drove without paying attention. He needed to talk to someone so he called Meg. She agreed to meet him for lunch so he went straight to the restaurant they’d agreed on and sat down at the bar to wait for her. Glancing at his watch he realized it would be over an hour before she got here. He started drinking, cradling his phone in his hands and thinking about calling Dean. His fingers slid over the screen again and again. But each time he thought of Dean, he saw his brothers face behind his eyelids. The look on Dean’s face when he’d exited the conference room wasn’t one that Sam could remember having seen before and he wasn’t sure what it meant. Sam bent his head and examined the bottom of his glass, feeling completely lost.

When Meg arrived, she stepped up to the bar and he reached out to hug her, nearly falling off the stool. She chuckled as she stepped up to let him lean on her and then navigated them to a table. As she helped him into a chair she admonished him kindly, “This is becoming a habit Sam.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Where’d ya get the shiner?” she teased him.

Sam didn’t mince words with her. There was no point. “I fucked over my brother today.”

“How?”

He told her everything, only halting his narrative for a moment when the waiter came to take their order. Meg ordered for both of them and then placed her elbows on the table and clasped her hands together, “Continue” she told him.

He did. When he’d finished, she knew it all. She knew that he’d been suspecting something between Dean and Cas for a while and that it was confirmed when he’d seen them together at his moms house when they’d thought they were alone. She knew how resentful he’d been at being kept in the dark about something so important. She knew how he’d been with Dean when he’d gotten the call asking him to come to the emergency meeting and how he’d been instructed not to tell Dean about it. She knew how Bill Bixler had stood in front of the board and explained what had gone down with Mr. Milton and that Sam had felt powerful when he’d cast his vote. She knew he’d secretly looked forward to Dean meeting his punishment for what he’d done. And she knew how quickly Sams feelings had changed when the real life scenario had played out before his eyes, how much it had hurt watching Dean leave his dads office looking so defeated and ruined. He’d longed to run to his brother and hug him, comfort him. But how could he? He was the source of his brother’s pain. What could he do for Dean but hurt him more?

Meg looked at him a little different when he’d finished and he realized that she’d lost some respect for him. Of course she had, how could she not? She’d seen part of him now that he usually kept well hidden. The part of him that was spoiled, selfish and petulant.

“Sam.” She said, snapping his attention back to her. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know Meg… that’s why I’ve called you. What should I do?”

“Well, let me ask you this…” she leveled her stare at him unflinchingly, “Is there any way to get the board to reconsider? Do you think you can talk them into re-voting? Are there others who regret it like you do?”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t paying attention to anyone but Dean in there.”

“Find out. Today. Make some calls,” she said firmly. Then she reached out her hand and laid it on his adding, “But not yet. Sober up. Then make the calls.”

“Okay,” he said, dropping his eyes to the salad plate being set in front of him, “If they’re willing to re-vote then we could get Dean re-instated. But he’ll still never forgive me for what I’ve done.”

“I know” she said, “and honestly, I don’t think you’ll find the board receptive to a re-vote. That’s not how the game is played. There’s no do-overs with things like this Sam. But he’s your brother. You won’t ever feel right again if you don’t at least try.”

“What can I do to fix things with Dean?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. He’s probably going to need some time.”

“Time?” Sam asked. “That’s your brilliant advice for me? To give it time?”

“Well,” she said calmly, “It sounds cliché but time does heal, Sam. People move on, they grow. This will be much less important to your brother once he’s rebuilt himself into a new life.”

“But…” stammered Sam “… a new life? That could take years!”

“Do you expect him to forgive you tomorrow? I wouldn’t forgive you that fast.”

Sam stared dumbly at his plate.

“Sam?” she prompted him, “What did you think was going to happen?”

“I didn’t think. That’s the problem.”

 

 

 

Dean found himself having a great time. There was a certain novelty to being completely hammered at 2pm on a Monday when the respectable people were all still at work.

Anna may be giving him a hard time about the KISS records, but the three of them were having a blast. They’d changed over from kiddie matching games to ‘Bullshit’.

Apparently Cas had never played bullshit before. Dean and Anna explained the rules to him and then shared more laughs then they could count watching him try to lie. It clearly wasn’t his strong suit. Anna, however, was scary-good at it.

When Cas began tipping over in his seat, Anna begged off. She called Michael to come get her telling Dean she’d be leaving her car here for now. When Michael arrived to pick her up, he rang the intercom and Dean got up to go answer. But the problem was, his shoe laces were tied together. He found it didn’t even hurt when his chin connected with the floor.

“Oh shit!” laughed Cas, sliding to the floor, “I forgot I did that!”

“You will pay…” threatened Dean, fumbling to get his face more than an inch off the floor.

Anna wasn’t much help either; she could barely walk a straight line. And she couldn’t get through a sentence without laughing. None of them could.

Dean worked his elbows under him and twisted around. He watched the curtain of her hair fall between them as she bent down to untie his shoes from each other. She slapped him on the ass as she stood and moved clumsily to the door. Dean couldn’t stand up to bid her good-bye but he heard her laughing as she opened the door and fell into Michaels arms. Dean lay still for a moment listening, hoping that Michael wasn’t going to try and come in. When the door closed behind them he dropped his head to the floor in relief.

“Cas? Where are you man?”

“Here”

“Where’s here?”

“Crawling to you”

“You can’t walk either?”

“Don’t think so”

“You fuckin’ tied my shoes together man!” laughed Dean. He could hear Cas giggling like a ten year old.

“You owe me” said Dean as he managed to turn over onto his back to stare at the ceiling and watch the room spin.

“I know, I’m comin” said Cas. By the sound of his voice he was getting closer.

“Cas… I’m spinnin man.” no answer.

Just as Dean was lifting his head to try and look around for Cas, he felt a tug on his pant leg. He glanced downward and saw a mop of black hair at his thigh. He reached his hand toward it, searching.

The record in the other room played on – a tune Dean didn’t know. There was a tug at his waist. Then he felt and heard his belt buckle move. It clinked as it was opened, and Dean felt clumsy fingers fumbling with his zipper. “Cas”

“Yeah”

“Are you gonna suck my dick?”

“I’m gonna try” he giggled.

A broad smile spread over Dean’s face. He’d never heard Cas giggle before today. It was infectious.

“Look at that” said Cas wonderingly.

“What?” Dean questioned, trying in vain to lift his head.

“You’re dick. I almost forgot what it looks like. Knew I’d like it.”

Dean was just opening his mouth to speak when he felt himself be engulfed in warm heat. “Uuhh” was all that came out.

Dean knew he must be completely flaccid since Cas had his entire package in his mouth and was rolling it around with his tongue. It didn’t matter that he was soft cause what Cas was doing felt amazing. He rolled Deans softie around with his tongue like he was suckin on a jawbreaker and humming satisfaction.

The inside of Cas’ mouth was the warmest wettest place on earth and Dean felt himself start to tingle through the alcohol haze. “Yeah, Cas. Oh yeah” he encouraged.

Cas hummed again to him and Dean was overcome by the need to stretch. He pushed his arms and legs to full extension, thrusting his body sideways and arching his back as his body locked in pleasure. Cas was attached to his dick like a sock puppet, swirling his member with pleasure without stopping. When his body relaxed, it encircled Cas and Deans hands finally found the unruly mop of black hair they’d been seeking.

“Oh Cas,” Dean sighed, “god-damn you’ve got a mouth on you.” He praised.

Cas smiled around his cock and began moving up and down on it, slow and sloppy. Belatedly Dean realized he must’ve actually been able to get hard if Cas was moving on him like that. He tried again to pick his head up and look.

Yep. Sure enough – Cas’ talented mouth had managed to coax a boner out of a tired little whiskey dick. “Oh yeah!” he said louder now, enthused with this unexpected turn of events. “Oh Yeah! Suck me off good Cas!”

Dean focused on moving his hands to his hips. He flopped clumsily trying to get his pants down so Cas could really work on him. Two more hands joined Deans in the battle of the pants and soon Dean felt his bare ass make contact with the floor. “Yes!” he celebrated, rolling his hips around hap-hazardly, unable to keep still but unable to contribute any purposeful movements for Cas.

His hands reached, but were unsatisfied. All he could touch of Cas was his hair. He needed more. “Cas, man…”

“Mmmm” was the only response he got since Cas wasn’t willing to take his mouth off Dean even for a moment.

“Cas, bring your dick up here. Need to suck it.”

“Mmmm” said Cas again. Dean could feel the man starting to shuffle his limbs around.

“Yeah man, bring it up here. I need it.”

Cas finally pulled off Dean for a moment, leaving a hand fisted around the base tightly. He drug himself forward, pulling his legs up towards Dean’s head. Dean moved a bit to lay on his side and found enough borrowed coordination to put both hands on Cas’ waist. “Oh thank all that’s holy for track pants!” he yelled out as he tugged Cas free of pants without having to negotiate a belt, buttons or zipper.

Cas heaved himself forward, fully in sixty-nine position now, closer to Deans waiting mouth and they both engulfed each other at the same time, both letting out a dirty moan as they took a dick in their mouths.

Laying on their sides and thrusting forward into each other’s mouths with no coordination or skill was surprisingly satisfying. Dean found himself enjoying having Cas in his mouth even though the man wasn’t hard. Rolling that chub around his mouth brought startlingly enticing images to his mind – he had no idea where they came from. He was picturing Cas the way he must’ve looked as a teen. A delicious little scrappy boy, just starting to grow into his limbs with a tiny little dick that wouldn’t grow to its full size for years. He pictured young Cas as though they were high school boys, dancing together at homecoming. The smaller, half hard cock in his mouth had him imagining groping each other under the bleachers, inexperienced and handsy, hot and over excited. Back in the days when all it took was a gentle fondling to unleash a pool of jizz into a waiting palm. Oh to be fifteen again!

Dean felt Cas start to grow in his mouth and he reached forward to cup the mans ass and bring him in closer. He was ‘trainwreck’ drunk and getting off with his man on the floor. He felt young and wild. He couldn’t shake the image of young Cas. Didn’t want to. Oh the waste to have not known him sooner. Dean wished he’d been with Cas since high school. So much time wasted with other other lovers when he could’ve been having this. So many orgasms given away to others when all he wanted was Cas.

Dean felt Cas’ cock press against the back of his throat, thick and hard now. He became impossibly more excited and thrust his own throbbing cock forward into Cas as he took bruising thrusts to the back of his own throat. So fucking hot! He wanted to cry out but his mouth was full of Cas. “Mmmm” he moaned.

Then he moaned again for Cas and again, knowing how good it would feel to his man. He found the use of his fingers that were clamped down hard on Cas’ butt cheek and worked them deeper into the man’s crack, struggling to find the ability to push one into Cas’ puckered hole.

Just then, he felt it. Slippery, gloppy bursts hitting the back of his throat. _‘Swallow it quick before you taste it’_  he thought to himself.

_Don’t puke on him this time. Swallow. Swallow. Do it!_

As he choked down all that Cas pumped into him he felt the last of his tingles pass down and out and into Cas. The man swallowed him down too and they both came up for air for the first time, collapsing apart, sucking clean air and groaning sweet satisfaction.

“Dean”

“Yeah”

“That was awesome”

“Yeah”

That was the last coherent thought he had.


	10. Let's Make It A Road-trip

Sam finished his lunch with Meg in a daze. Meg had given him some good advice and then put him in a cab back to campus, promising to bring him back for his car when she got off work (if he would promise to be sober when she arrived).

As he watched downtown creep past his window, he could think of nothing but Dean. What was his brother doing right now? Was he sad and crying? Angry and destructive? His thumb toyed with the screen of his phone. Again, he considered calling his brother, but fear kept him from it.

He thought briefly about calling his mother and then discarded the thought as soon as it had formed. No way. Dean had probably already told her what happened. He definitely couldn’t face her. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes, thinking of how much he wished he could just go back and re-do things the right way.

 

 

 

Dean began to wake up. It was painful. At first he had no idea why, but slowly as his mind re-booted and started working again the reason became clear. First of all, he was laying on the floor, that’s why he was hurting. Not only was he on the floor, but he’d been sleeping so soundly that he’d been in the same position for far too long. He felt like the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz. He needed an oil can for his joints because that’s how stiff they were.

His head was pounding like it may explode at any moment. The most prominent pains seemed to radiate from his neck up in to his head and down to his lower back. And he was cold. Really cold. (Probably because his pants were down around his thighs and his bare ass and sticky dick were just hanging out in the cool air. Despite his pain a small smile crept to the corners of his mouth for a moment when he remembered getting frisky with Cas down here.

He turned his head to the right and saw a knee. Blue track pants. Dean braced himself for the pain and then lurched sideways to try and get an elbow under himself. When he was halfway upright he instantly wanted to lay back down.

Nausea slammed into his stomach like a boxer’s gloved fist - and he was willfully swallowing down saliva frantically, trying to avoid the inevitable. It was useless. He heaved himself to his feet and made a quick decision to head for the kitchen sink which was far closer than the bathroom. He had a hand over his mouth holding back successfully until he reached it and then wretched fully. Waves passed over him and he choked and gagged until there was simply nothing left in his stomach. Even then he continued to feel spasms for a moment or two.

When it was finished, he ran a palm across his sweaty forehead and breathed deeply a few times. He felt much better but knew it wouldn’t last. He figured he had about 3 minutes before he needed to be in bed. So he made them count. He ran cold water into the sink and ran the disposer to clean up his mess. He grabbed water bottles from the fridge and headed for the bathroom, dropping the water on the nightstand as he passed it. In the bathroom he took a long piss and grabbed aspirin and the cigar box which he dropped on the nightstand next to the water as he passed by it again. His head was pounding and his stomach was starting to protest. He headed back to the wide expanse of floor between the table and the living room. Cas was still there – in the same position.

Dean got down on one knee and laid a hand on Cas’ chest. Yeah. Cas was cold. He moved his palm up to Cas’ cheek and tapped him several times while saying his name to rouse him.

“Uuhh” he moaned.

“I know man, come to bed.”

“Leave me”

“No way, man.” countered Dean, “You’ll regret it later; trust me.”

Dean gave his arm a tug and said, “Come on Cas. Do it on three.” Then he began counting, “One,” Cas’ eyes came open and acknowledged him, “Two,” Cas grasped his hand, “Three” he heaved himself up to his knees. With Dean’s help he staggered upwards. Dean put his arm around the man’s waist and helped him shuffle to the bedroom. As they came to the doorway, Cas broke away from Dean and made a clumsy run to the bathroom. Dean followed slowly. He was sweating profusely now and his entire body begged him to get into the bed.

Instead he followed Cas to the bathroom and leaned on the counter while the man emptied his stomach. When he was finished, Cas flushed and Dean wiped up the rest of the mess before heading to the sink next to Cas who was brushing his teeth. Dean washed his hands and brushed his teeth too.

The two of them shuffled to the bed together and flopped down. Dean laid there for a moment to catch his breath before reaching to pull his phone out of his pocket and check the time. Huh, six pm. Normally he’d just be getting home from work about now. His mind considered the loss of his job again but Dean immediately brushed the thought aside and busied himself with pulling off his pants and shirt and socks.

He looked over at Cas. His man was staring at the ceiling and breathing shallow. Dean reached out and handed him a water bottle. He took it and pulled himself up enough to drink. Dean then doled out aspirin for each of them before he leaned back and pulled the covers up around himself. He reached for the cigar box and lit up a joint, taking a few puffs before handing it to Cas. Within a minute of taking a hit from the joint he found himself feeling much improved. The nausea was gone and so was the dull throb that had been radiating through his body. The headache persevered but he knew the aspirin would kick in soon.

“Hey” said Cas.

“Hmm?”

“If you pick a playlist on your phone and hand it to me…I’ll put it on the dock.”

“Okay, thanks.” He said, pulling his phone back out. He picked his most recent. It was still new enough that he couldn’t remember what he’d put on it. Dean really preferred not knowing what song would come next when he listened to music.

Cas took the phone and moved the two steps required to lay the phone in the cradle and start the music playing quietly. As he moved back to the bed he stripped down and then tucked himself in near Dean. Dean edged a bit closer to him too, not content until their shoulders were touching.

“Thanks for making me get up.” Said Cas.

“Yep.”

“Are you doing ok?”

“You mean with my hangover or with being fired?”

“Either. Both I guess” replied Cas.

“Well, I feel better now than when I woke up on the floor. As far for as getting fired… that’s gonna take some time.”

Cas didn’t speak. He searched his mind for something he could say but there was nothing. He’d known that coming out to his family would have far-reaching effects in his own life. He knew they could hurt him, make his life hard.

It just had never occurred to him that Dean would be effected so directly. In hindsight it seemed foolish to have used Dean’s name in their house. Of course they’d know who he was. Of course they’d use any means necessary to hurt the man that Cas had attached himself to. How could he have been so foolish?

“Quit thinking about it” reprimanded Dean.

“I...”

“I mean it, Cas.” Interrupted Dean.

“Dean. It’s too much. The price you’re paying for being with me, it’s too much.”

Dean turned on his side and put his hand around the back of Cas’ neck, pulling him in close and looking him square in the eye. “No Cas. It isn’t.”

Dean’s beautiful, bright green eyes burned into his and hearing Deans words made Cas’ heart swell. “Cas, there is no price I wouldn’t pay.” Cas closed his eyes, unable to hold the weight of Deans intense stare. He felt Dean’s forehead come to rest on his own.

They stayed like that for a minute before Dean relaxed back onto his pillow. He stared at the ceiling and said, “Besides, I can deal with your homophobic prick of a father throwing his weight around. That’s not what really hurts.”

“What hurts?” asked Cas, also staring at the ceiling.

“Sam.”

“What did Sam do?”

“He threw me under the bus is what he fuckin’ did.” Said Dean, “When your pops called the firm and pulled his account, the board had an emergency meeting to discuss what to do. They decided the best way to move forward was to get rid of me and beg your old man to come back to the firm now that I’m not part of it.”

Cas was silent, waiting for Dean to continue. “They needed a unanimous vote to end my employment.”

“Shit,” said Cas – knowing where this was going before Dean even said it.

“Yep. My own brother.” Said Dean.

“There’s no way my father will re-consider. Even with you gone. There’s not even a small chance.”

“I figured.” Breathed Dean. “You know, they’re gonna lay off ten percent of the staff?”

“That seems appropriate based on the numbers.” Cas confirmed.

“No Cass, it’s not appropriate. My father wouldn’t have done it. He also wouldn’t have cut one of his sons out to please a client. My dad would be sick if he knew how quickly things went to shit after he died. The place is being run by his most trusted people and this is the best we can do? Really?”

Cas was busy pondering the difference between the way he was taught to run a business and the way Dean claimed his father would’ve run it. His musings caused the silence to grow too long because he’d missed the moment where Dean was expecting him to speak.

“What would you’re father have done to avoid laying off?” asked Cas finally.

“I have no idea. But he would’ve thought of something.”

The silence stretched out and Cas tried not to say what was on his mind. But the words were heavy on his tongue already and holding them back was too difficult. Even though he knew it would make him sound pathetic, he gave in and said them anyway.

“Thank you for staying with me Dean.”

Dean rolled over, wrapping his arms around Cas firmly and giving a good natured smile, “Aww, you’re worth it baby.”

Cas’ voice dropped low and rough, “Still not for you to call baby.” He admonished firmly. He felt Dean chuckle into his hair.

They relaxed in the bed for a while before they were both asleep again. When Cas woke he felt much better. He stretched lazily and looked over at Dean who was still sleeping. He could barely see him in the fading light. The room was quiet, music over.

Cas slid slowly from the bed and pulled his pants from the floor, stepping back into them as he moved toward the kitchen. He was hungry and began looking around for something to make. He ended up deciding on breakfast food. Before getting started on cooking anything, he picked up the mess from their little impromptu party earlier. Then, he moved back out into the kitchen pulled a down a waffle maker that had never been used before.

His first few waffles didn’t come out very well. When he checked the directions he realized there was a treatment he was meant to do to the griddle surface before he used it for the first time. Oh well. He scraped the sticky, burning mess off the surface, cleaned it, greased it and tried again. The results were better the second time around but still only worthy of the trash can.  He’d been trying for almost half an hour when he finally produced an edible waffle. Proud of it, he transferred it to a plate and immediately set to work on another. Then he started a pan of bacon frying and was proud of himself as he timed the turning of the bacon and the emptying of the waffle iron well. Soon he was humming a tune and moving about the kitchen like a pro. There was a plate of waffles and a plate of bacon. He pulled the milk from the fridge and added Hershey syrup to it.

Dean woke to the smell of bacon, an excellent way to wake up. He stretched and padded to the kitchen in his boxers, following his nose like Toucan Sam.

When he turned the corner he smiled, seeing his man mixing up a glass of chocolate milk and humming a Beatles tune as he plated waffles and bacon. Cas turned toward the table with his plate and cup to see Dean leaning in the doorway watching him.

“Hey, you hungry?”

“Always,” said Dean as he moved into the kitchen and began filling a plate with the delicious fixins Cas had made.

They sat at the table and wolfed down comfort food. Dean was the first to speak when he leaned back in his chair, satisfied and rubbing his belly.

“That was awesome!”

“Thanks,” Cas said smiling. “What do you feel like doing with the rest of the night?”

“I don’t know,” Dean frowned. “I guess it doesn’t matter how late we stay up since there’s nowhere for either of us to be in the morning.” Dean stared off into space for few minutes before continuing, “I know I need to put some serious thought into what I’m going to do. But I don’t think I’m ready to consider it yet. I think I’m going to give myself two weeks of vacation before I start trying to get another job. I haven’t really taken a vacation in quite a while; it’ll be good to relax a bit and have some time to think before I actually start making a resume and trying to get a job.”

“That’s a good idea, Dean. We’ve both been working for our parents since college. Maybe a little time to figure out what we really _WANT_ to do would be wise. I know I don’t have a clue.”

“Yeah, me either. And given the manner in which we’ve lost our jobs, it’s probably a good idea not to force ourselves into something else too quickly. There’s no reason to rush, right? Do you still want to take that rafting trip this weekend?”

“Definitely. I’m looking forward to that.”

“Then why wait til the weekend?” Dean reasoned. “Why don’t we just pack up in the morning and go?”

“Okay,” said Cas brightening. “I like the way you’re thinking!” Cas jumped up and began cleaning up the mess he’d made of the kitchen. Dean moved to help him. As they cleaned up together they decided they weren’t up for doing much more than holding down the couch for the rest of the evening. Cas suggested watching one of the favorite movies of Deans that he’d brought over ages ago when they’d first met.

Dean enthusiastically agreed. He went to the bedroom and threw on a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt, grabbing the cigar box and headed back to the living room. He dropped the goodies on the coffee table and dug out the movie he wanted to watch and put it in the player. Just as he was settling onto the couch, Cas entered with beers. They settled onto the couch together, kicking up their feet.

“What are we watching?” Cas asked him.

“Caddyshack!” Dean enthused, you’re gonna love it!

Dean rolled them a joint while the movie started and they laughed their asses off through the entire thing.

When it was finished, Cas said he could see why it was a favorite of Deans. He could also see why Dean loved Bill Murray so much.

“Well,” said Dean stretching and letting his eyes rove over Cas’ shirtless form, “You wanna make fourteen bucks the hard way?”

They both laughed as they moved toward each other on the couch.

 

 

 

Sam was sitting on the couch. He’d been sitting here for hours, staring at the TV. It wasn’t even on. His mind had been running in circles as he processed just how much had changed since yesterday. Meg’s words kept coming back to him again and again. “What did you think was going to happen…”

He couldn’t figure it out. What _HAD_ he thought was going to happen? He couldn’t remember even considering it. All he could think about prior to Deans actual firing was how good it was going to feel watching Dean pay for keeping secrets from him. He couldn’t recall one thought being spared for what would happen to his brother after he’d been fired – or what would happen to his relationship with his brother once he’d done this – or even what his mother would think of his decision. He really and truly had not thought this through. How could he have been so short-sighted? Clearly his father had made a mistake putting him on the board of directors. He obviously wasn’t ready for that kind of responsibility. He wasn’t prepared to be making important decisions. He was too immature and selfish to do anyone any good in that capacity.

I should resign, he thought to himself.

His mind continued to race in circles until Meg arrived. When she did, Sam stood from the couch and followed her to the car without speaking.

As they sped towards downtown she asked him if he was ok.

“No.” he told her.

She didn’t speak again. When they arrived at the restaurant he opened the door to get out. Before standing he looked back at her and said, “You’ve been a far better friend to me than I’ve deserved.” He didn’t wait for her to respond. He simply got out of the car and shut the door. The cool night breeze blew through his hair as he walked the short distance to his car. For some reason, his mind traveled back to the night he’d met Amelia. The way they’d walked together through the park and the cemetery. She’d been so sure of herself and all her decisions. In their time together, she always had been. No matter what came up – she never questioned herself. Even when it was time to leave him. She was always certain.

 _How does one become so self-assured? -_ he wondered.

He sat down in his car and started it up. He turned on music softly and navigated out onto the street, heading back to his place.  As he drove through the darkening city he wondered what to do now. Going to class in the morning was the last thing he wanted to do. Mid-terms would be starting soon. At the end of this semester he’d be graduating. He’d be taking the state bar exam. He’d be entering his father’s law firm as an actual attorney. He didn’t feel ready. He didn’t feel capable. He didn’t see how the few remaining weeks of school were going to magically transform him into someone who was.

His phone pinged. He expected it to be a kind word from Meg. She’d been disappointed in him, he could tell. But true to form – she was supportive.

The message wasn’t from Meg. It was from Ruby. He’d almost forgotten about her. It had been days since he’d texted her saying “Please Dinner.”

Her text was simple. It said, “OK Sam. Take me to dinner.”

He tapped out a quick response, keeping one eye on the road, “Now?”

“Yes. Now.”

“On the way.” he responded.

He exited the freeway at his normal marker but didn’t head home. He continued farther down the loop of Campus Drive, turning on Escondido and pulled up in front of Branner Hall.

“Here” he texted her.

He didn’t wait long. She emerged out of the dusk like a vampire and slid into the front seat like she belonged there.

“You look great” he told her. 

She gave him a look, like she was smelling moldy cheese. “You can do better than that Sam.”

“Yes,” he said, swinging his head her way and leaning in towards her, getting close enough to smell the scent of her chapstick. “I can be more honest,” he told her huskily, “You look delicious.”

“Great. Where are we going for dinner?”

Sam was glad to have already played this scenario out in his mind. It would save the effort of actually thinking for himself tonight. “Cliff house.”

“I’ve never been there,” she said. Something about the way she said it made Sam feel that he’d been right about choosing the place and why. He was technically dressed appropriately for the evening, having never changed out of the suit he’d worn to the meeting that morning. But he felt ripe and disgusting having sat in it all day. He didn’t know if he appeared fresh to her or not. He didn’t care.

At this point, he wasn’t into the game at all. He was in the car with her by force of habit alone. Sam Winchester didn’t turn down a rabbit he’d been chasing. Besides, it would give his brain something to focus on for a few hours.

They were seated at a small table that would’ve had a view if it were light outside. The ambiance of the restaurant itself made up for the lack of scenery and the food was delicious. The dialog between the two of them was stilted at best. As they were waiting for desert to be brought out, she looked him dead in the eye and told him he seemed like a whole different person tonight then he had when she first met him.

“Which of us do you like better?” he asked her.

“So far, neither is a ten.” She smiled at him, “but I think I can help you.”

“How would _you_ help _me_?” he asked her cynically.

“I may have just the thing you need. But before we discuss this any further I need to know what’s eating at you tonight. You’re obviously chewing on something.”

He paused for a moment, trying to think up a way to tell her that it was a personal thing or a family thing or some other way of basically telling her it was too personal to discuss. He took a deep breath and for some reason, decided to just give her the truth. Whatever, right? She was so convinced that he was living the good life… let her get a glimpse of it.

So he told her all of it. His father’s death, his womanizing brother having an affair with a man behind his back, the tension between them in the wake of his father’s funeral and the high dollar client they’d lost because of Deans philandering.

He then explained the emergency meeting with the board and the firing of his brother which had just happened that morning. He told her that he was afraid that this would be the end of his lifelong friendship with his big brother and that he was now _so_ afraid of how his mother would react that he didn’t even have the balls to call her.

He confided that he’d never felt more lost in his life and that he was fearful that he was still too young and hot headed to do a good job as a lawyer and that he would just make a mess of everything he touched whether he passed the bar or not.

When he’d brought her up to speed she was gaping at him. “What?” He said toying with her, “Ruby with a smart line for everything is finally speechless?” he paused and then proceeded to tease her again, “C’mon Ruby… the last time I saw a mouth like that there was a fish hook in it!”

She closed her mouth and looked at him with deep brown eyes. “Wow, when Sam Winchester is honest, he goes the whole nine yards, right?”

“Guess so. Is my life still looking so enviable?”

“Well, I’d tell you it would be great to switch problems with you for a day, but I get your point. We all have problems.”

“Maybe you should tell me yours then,” he said to her.

Just then, their desserts were set in front of them. She poised her spoon before digging in and stared blankly at him for a moment.

“Ok.” She said quietly, “but you’ve asked for it.”

She told him that her mother was bi-polar and couldn’t ever seem to hold a job for long. Her father had run off when she was younger and left them alone with their mother who couldn’t be counted on for anything but frustration most days.

 She’d been the youngest and had and older brother and sister who’d looked out for her until she’d gone away to college and both had encouraged her to go far from home. She explained the guilt she felt knowing how much her older siblings had given up to take care of her and how even if she finished school, passed the bar and settled into the good life… she’d always have her mother’s care to deal with.

As an adult, it would be her turn to care for her mother, just as her siblings had handled her through Ruby’s childhood and college years. She’d also have to financially support herself, her mother and her siblings as they finally got around to chasing their educational dreams.

“So,” she said, “you can take me from my trailer park life and drop me at Stanford. But the trailer park will continue to follow me no matter what I do.”

He kind of understood where she was coming from. The life you make for yourself is supposed to be your own… but the life you’ve been born into will follow you regardless.

They’d finished dessert as she’d been telling her story and afterwards they took a short walk around the iconic restaurant before heading back to his car.

“So,” he said as she was buckling herself in, “you said you might be able to help me. What did you have in mind?”

“I know I can help you, but it’s not time yet.”

“What?”

“Sam,” she said firmly – like a mother would say it to a child.

“Yes Ma’am” he conceded sarcastically.

“Good boy.” She said with a wicked smile.

For some reason, even though it was demeaning, he found himself responding positively to her praise.

He drove her through the darkened city, both of them sitting in quiet contemplation. Just to drive her crazy, he didn’t try to kiss her when they parted company at her residence hall. It seemed too predictable for someone like her anyway.  

He simply told her it had been a pleasure and thanked her for coming out. It didn’t escape her attention that he hadn’t asked to see her again.

As he pulled away from her and around the corner, he heard her voice in his mind again, clear as if she were next to him… “Good boy, Sam.” It gave him a chill.

 

 

 

Dean and Cas had stayed up late. They’d had sex on the couch after Caddyshack, Cas pulling Dean down on top of him and unceremoniously pushing their pants down far enough to get his hands around them both.

He’d never even managed to get Dean out of his t-shirt. They’d simply thrust into Cas’ hands, which were soon joined by Deans. Dean had slipped towards the back of the couch as they’d progressed. With Cas on his back on the sofa and Dean’s hip resting on Cas’ while his back lodged against the back of the sofa. They’d managed to keep at least their dicks bumping together as they humped and kept their hands on each other as much as possible.

When they’d finally come, they pulled up pants and yanked off Deans tee, using it to clean up their bellies before tossing it to the floor and cuddling into each other shirtless and satisfied.

Dean pulled the throw blanket over them and that’s where they’d stayed the rest of the night. The player had automatically started replaying Caddyshack while they were busy getting off, and they’d fallen asleep out there watching it – wrapped up together like a burrito in the fuzzy throw blanket – bare chested and content.

Now, as the early morning light filtered in the windows on the opposite wall, Cas found himself alone under the throw and waking with a sour mouth. He yawned and stretched, lifting his head to survey the room.

The TV was dark and silent and Dean was sitting at the table engrossed in something on his laptop. Cas stood and stretched, letting the blanket fall.

“Hey” said Dean acknowledging Cas but not looking up from what he was doing.

“Mmm” said Cas as he moved behind Dean and tucked his face into the man’s neck to kiss him just below the ear. Then when he stood, he looked to the screen and asked Dean what he was working on.

“I woke up excited to go rafting and decided to get started… you know, buy the tickets, get directions, and start packing…”

“And...” prodded Cas.

“And I found out we can’t go. It’s not in season, the last runs are for kids and end in September.”

“Well that sucks.” Said Cas, dejected.

“I know. So I started looking at what else we might be able to do. There’s lots of kayak trips still going. Everything from paddling under the Golden Gate to bioluminescent night trips… I was just about to wake you and see what you think.”

“I think that sounds like an excellent substitute.” Said Cas, “I’m going to shower and let you work out the details.”

As Cas moved away from Dean the man reached out for his wrist. “There’s lots of choices – what do you want to do?”

“You pick, really.” Said Cas smiling. He knew he’d enjoy the day no matter what they did.

He moved to the shower, missing Dean’s grip around his wrist just a little.

 

 

 

 

Sam slept for most of the following day. He didn’t attend class. He didn’t study. He didn’t even plug in his dead phone. He laid in his bed, alone and sickened, wishing for Dean.

He’d give anything to hear from his brother… even if it was just to punch him again. He’d take that and be grateful for the contact. Sam was glad for the brief respite that sleep could bring him and he indulged in it as much as his body would allow.

 

 

 

Dean and Cas moved to the car, Dean putting their things in order and Cas focused on putting the top down and finding some agreeable music. It had been a great afternoon. The drive over to the landing had taken over ninety minutes but driving with the top down kept it from feeling like a chore and the boys had plenty to talk about to keep occupied.

When they’d gotten to the launch Cas found out that Dean had booked them on a challenging trip that was billed as one ‘for athletic people with a sense of adventure’. Cas knew as soon as he saw the language on their paperwork that he’d be sore when they finished. They were set to cross the Raccoon Straight over to Angel Island.  The crossing was definitely a workout as the wind and currents did their best to keep the boys off track, but the views of the city skyline, Alcatraz and the Golden Gate Bridge were well worth the work out. They’d seen seals poking noses out of the water at them and had a very exhilarating crossing with a pod of dolphins… the guide said they were ‘Harbor Porpoise’ not dolphin. They also saw a wide assortment of water birds while they were out.

On their way back in, they’d had a few relaxing moments where the wind was at their backs and the current carried them effortlessly and they were able to get some nice pictures.

As expected, their arms were sore and they were worn out. But the trip had been incredible. They’d spent a few minutes as they were getting ready to leave, just looking at the other tours available and chatting about which they’d like to do next time they came.

Now that they’d gotten cleaned up and were dry and warm in their hoodies, they opted to keep the top down as they drove, deciding to stop somewhere in Sausalito for dinner before heading home. They crept slowly down Bridgeway enjoying the wind in their hair despite the chill and taking in the feel of the place. They parked near Salito’s Crab House and Prime Rib, heading in for dinner. They ended up seated outside, under the awning watching the boats move past while they ate. The food was delicious and they stayed long after to enjoy a few drinks and watch the last of the sunlight disappear.

After leaving the Crab house, they ambled along the docks of the Yacht Harbor on Johnson, looking at the boats and enjoying the calm sea scent and laid back atmosphere. They ambled along Bridgeway for a while, finally ending up in Dunphy Park where there was a jazz band playing under a tent and people were gathering. Cas and Dean dropped into the cool grass and listened for a while, leaning into each other’s shoulders and enjoying the complete and total disregard of time that people appreciate only when they’re on vacation.

When they began getting uncomfortably cold, they headed back to the car. Cas blasted the heat to ward off their chills and then selected some tunes for the drive home.

“Should we head to your place?” asked Cas. “We haven’t been there for days.”

“Sure.” Said Dean, “but my laptop is at yours.”

“Would you rather go to mine?”

“Yeah. I would. I want to start looking up more places to go on vacation and I don’t want to do it on my phone.” He paused and looked over, “Do you have anything you’d like to do on vacation Cas?”

“Yes… loads. I was thinking we should visit Alcatraz. Can you believe I’ve never done that?”

“Yeah, I can.” Laughed Dean. “What else have you not seen in SF?”

“Never been to the Sutro Baths either,” said Cas, “and I’ve heard there’s some good hiking around that area.”

“Oh there is!” Said Dean, enthusiastically, “We should definitely check that out. What else should we do on vacation?”

“We could go to a bath house,” suggested Cas with a wink, “ever done that?”

“Nope, definitely not.”

“Me neither.”

It got quiet in the car then, each man’s mind traveling to strange, dark places. Cas leaned in to turn up the music, catching Deans eye and giving him a shy smile. Dean winked back at him and relaxed back in his seat.

“I love this song, Cas, who is this?”

“Arctic Monkeys”

“Isn’t this a Bacardi commercial?”

“I don’t know” said Cas smiling. He couldn’t seem to wipe the smile off his face. He had no right to be this happy right now, not with everything that was going on in their lives. But he was. With Dean next to him, it didn’t matter what went wrong, he was still the happiest he’d ever been.

“Hey Cas, are there places you want to go? Ya know… outside of the bay area?”

“Sure, tons… why?”

“Well… name some for me. Maybe we have some in common and we can go there while we’re on vacation.”

“Ok… well do you mean like… anywhere? Just anything I haven’t seen?”

“Well, maybe let’s confine ourselves to the continental US for now.” Dean said, laughing.

“Ok. Mt. Rushmore. Never been.” Said Cas, “and the Grand Canyon. I’d love to do some rafting there or hiking, camping. I’ve never been camping. Ever. I’d love to do that. Niagra falls…”

“Damn Cas… where did you family take vacations? You haven’t seen anything!”

“Europe, usually.”

“Well, the Grand Canyon is on both our lists… I think we should start with that.”

As soon as they were in the door, Dean had pulled the laptop to the coffee table and they both began pouring over it. They were clicking pages like mad and bookmarking things they wanted to see and do. Their excitement grew with each picture they clicked on. There were so many things they wanted to do and they were spread out over such a wide area. Seized by a brilliant idea, Dean suddenly grabbed Cas by the elbow and shouted, “It’s a road trip! Let’s make it a road trip!”

Cas’ smile spread wide – both with love for Dean’s idea and for his enthusiasm. “Dean, I love it!” he enthused. We can just pack up some shit and jump in the car and head out. We don’t have to plan or anything! We’ll just take each day as it comes and do whatever we want!”

“That’s the official plan, right? We plan to have no plan?” Dean asked him.

“Yes.” hissed Cas, “when can we leave?”

“Now or in the morning, Cas, you choose.” Smiled Dean.

“Oh let’s leave in the morning… I’m out of clean briefs,” smiled Cas.

Dean chuckled out loud and smacked Cas on the ass as he headed into the bedroom to grab the hamper. While Cas was putting a load in the wash, Dean was putting the laptop back on the charger. He put both their phones on chargers too.

When Cas came back to the couch, Dean was settled at the coffee table, rolling joints. Cas flopped down next to him.

“Well, Cas,” Dean yawned, “I’m kinda glad you didn’t choose to leave tonight.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty shot too,” said Cas, catching Dean’s yawn.

“Figured I’d roll as many as I can before bed… that way we don’t have to bother with it while we’re on the road.”

“Scoot. I’ll help.” said Cas, giving Dean a shove.

“You know, there’s only two movies left in my pile of my favorites that you haven’t seen. Wanna watch one while we work?”

“Sure. Which?”

“I’d say Office Space since we’re both unemployed. But really, I kinda feel like watchin’ Zombieland.”

“Ok,” said Cas, moving to grab the movie and put it in the player.

They worked through most of the first half of the movie, filling zip lock bags with neatly rolled joints. While they worked they took turns grimacing in disgust and laughing hysterically at the movie.

Cas told Dean that he’d been right. For a zombie movie… it was not short on humor. It was a sharp and sarcastic humor that Cas really loved too.

By the time it was over, their work had been abandoned and they were back under the throw blanket again. Cas got up to change over the laundry and Dean helped him fold the basket of clothes that had been sitting in the dryer all week.

They shared a long hot shower and crawled into bed. The day had been fun and tiring. Both men were excited about getting on the road in the morning. Dean loved a road trip and Cas had never been on one before – not really.

As they laid in bed waiting for sleep Dean said, “It’s a bummer it so late in the year. If it was summer… I would’ve loved to take you on a big ass camping trip.”

“Well now I have something to look forward to next summer.” Cas said, turning over on his side.

Dean exhaled a long breath. His thoughts may have flitted to Sam for a moment, but he quickly dismissed them, choosing instead to press his nose to the back of Cas’ head. “We’ll have to stop by my mom’s on the way out of town,” he said. I’m supposed to be checking on her twice a week. Yesterday was supposed to be my day to go. Anyway, I’ll tell her what we’re doing and see how she reacts. If she looks too sad, I’ll have to think of something…

While his mind worked on what he could do for Mary, he fell asleep.

When Dean woke in the morning, he was feeling very well rested. He untangled his legs from Cas and slid out of the bed. He moved quietly to change over the laundry again and sat on the couch to fold another basket. For no good reason, he put in ‘Office Space’ while he worked. He left it play while he pulled out Cas’ biggest duffle bag and the small one he’d left here previously.

He began filling each with the clean socks and underwear he and Cas had been folding from the dryer. When Cas stumbled out of bed, he found Dean laughing along to the movie and working on a bowl of cold cereal.

They nodded good morning to each other as Cas headed to the kitchen and started coffee. When he tucked into the couch to sip from his mug, he asked if there were any more dirty clothes to wash.

“Nope.” Replied Dean, “the last load is in the dryer now.”

“Ok. Besides throw everything in a bag… is there anything else we need to do to get ready?”

“Don’t think so.” Said Dean, “We’ll have to stop at my place for a few things… then at mom’s like I mentioned. But we should be able to head out after that. Unless…”

“What?”

“Do you need to stop by Anna’s for anything?”

“I don’t think so. But I’ll just give her a call quick and let her know we’re leaving in case she can think of a reason for me to stop by.”

While Cas was on the phone with Anna he tossed both phone and laptop chargers in the bag and put together his travel pack of bathroom necessities which slid neatly into his duffel. He grabbed the book he was reading and another from the shelf and tossed those in the bag too, uncertain how much reading he’d be doing.

After Anna finished telling him that she thought this trip was a great idea – she confirmed that she had no need for Cas to stop by before leaving town. Cas mentioned Deans concern about Mary and Anna said that she’d be happy to swing by and take Mary to lunch or just drop something off and visit for a while. Cas thanked her for being willing and said he’d let her know if he needed her to do that. He inquired about her and Michael’s progress. “It’s down to a matter of days,” she said to him, “I’m starting to get nervous.” She told him.

“You’d tell me if there was something I could do to help, right?”

“Sure. But there isn’t.” she said firmly. Just go have a lovely vacation.

“Thanks Anna, I love you.”

“Love you too Cassie.”

Cas returned to the sofa to find Dean putting the laptop in its case. “What clothes should I pack?”

“Comfortable stuff.” Said Dean, “Just a few days’ worth. We’ll buy any gear we need as we need it and stop at a laundry mat when we’re out of clean clothes.”

Cas shoved half a dozen t-shirts, a hoodie, a pair of jeans, a pair of cargo pants, and a few pairs of shorts in the bag and zipped it up. He heaved his bag on the couch and put his phone and wallet in his pocket. He nodded to Dean that he was ready and Dean began carrying bags down to the car. Cas went through the condo, straightening up. He did a quick job of making the bed and washing up the few dishes they’d used. When he was satisfied he walked to the living room. Dean had already made a trip down to the car and now had the last bag on his shoulder. Cas beamed at him as they walked to the door. He set the alarm while Dean waited for the elevator and then they stepped in together. Dean pressed a kiss to his mouth while they were going down.

The trunk of the Impala was soon loaded and they climbed in. As they pulled out into traffic, Cas dialed Mary and handed the phone to Dean. Over the background noise, Cas was unable to hear Mary’s end of the conversation… only Deans. He gathered that it was fine for them to head over now and that she’d declined Dean’s offer to bring her breakfast.

When they arrived at her place, she seated them in the living room.

“So, what brings you two handsome men to my house on a weekday morning?”

“Well, we figured now that we’re officially unemployed we may as well use it to our advantage and take a little vacation.” Supplied Dean.

“Unemployed?” Mary’s face showed surprise. Hadn’t she heard?

“Yeah mom, didn’t anyone tell you?”

“I think you better tell me Dean.”

Oh shit. He should’ve called his mother yesterday, or Monday. Why had he waited?

“Mom, when Cas came out to his family they reacted exactly the way he always said they would. He’s no longer welcome in their home, with their friends or at his job. He’s pretty much done with everything that had anything to do with his family or their business.”

“Except Anna,” Cas jumped in, “Anna left with me… and she said some things on the way out that have cemented her fate together with mine. We’re both outcasts now.”

Mary moved over to Cas and slid into a hug. “I’m so sorry, Cas” she said lovingly, petting his hair.

Cas hugged her back, grateful for her obvious desire to comfort him. “Thank you, Mrs. Winchester. Your support means more to me then you know.”

“It’s Mary,” she said firmly, “And of course,” she said kindly, “I’m here for anything you need.”

She stood then and pivoted around, seating herself on the coffee table so she was able to face both Dean and Cas at the same time. She turned her attention to Dean and said, “What happened to you?”

“Well mom, Mr. Milton called the office and pulled all of his business. It was a huge deal. That’s why I assumed you knew. I can’t believe someone on the board hadn’t spoken to you about it… or one of their wives indirectly.” He gave it a moment, trying not to overwhelm her with too much information. When she looked like she was trying to formulate a question, he continued.

“When he pulled the Milton/Baxter account from us, he named me as the reason. So, the board met without me and voted to fire me.”

Mary looked back and forth between Dean and Cas. “Can they do that?”

“Technically yes. They needed a unanimous vote and they had it.”

“No… they couldn’t have… your brother is on the board…”

Dean watched as the gears turned in Mary’s head.

“Oh. I see.” She looked like she was going to cry. Or throw up. Or both.

Dean and Cas both reached for her. She leaned in and hugged them both, tightly. “Oh you two are really getting walloped here aren’t you?”

“Well,” Dean said quietly, “I guess you can see why we might want to get out of town for a while.”

“Dean, I don’t know what to say. Sam was angry, I know that’s part of it, but I can’t believe…” her voice trailed off.

“Mom, if you would’ve seen the look on his face… he really meant it… He thought this was fair.”

“He was wrong.”

“I know. The whole thing is wrong. They’re gonna lay off a bunch of people to cover the losses. It’s just not what Dad would’ve done.”

“No it’s not.” she confirmed. “Have you talked to Sam since?”

“No mom. I don’t see that happening any time soon. He’s been clear about what he thinks of me.”

“Does this have to do with you and Cas?” she asked.

Dean understood what she was really asking. She wanted to know if Sam had done this to Dean because he was gay. “No mom. He said I deserved it because I’m spoiled and selfish and always had Dad to clean up my messes.”

“You know that wasn’t how your dad saw it, right Dean?”

“Yeah mom. I know. But apparently, that’s how Sam saw it. I got the feeling some of the board members saw it that way too.”

“Sweetie,” said Mary, “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I don’t want to drag you two down. You were both so happy when you walked in here… now look what I’ve done to you.”

She put a hand on each of their cheeks. “Go… enjoy your trip. Send me some awesome pictures! And then come see me the minute you get home. Maybe I can make some progress with the board or at least with Sam while you’re gone.”

“Mom. I don’t want you fighting my battles for me.”

“Ok.” She conceded, seeing he was serious, “I won’t fight. But I hope you will allow me to _inquire_.” She said teasingly.

“Yes, fine. Inquire. But mom?”

“Mhmm”

“There’s nothing you can do. I need to be sure you understand that.”

“I do.”

They all hugged again as she walked them to the door. She was practically pushing them out. Dean figured she must have a few calls that she wouldn’t be satisfied until she’d made. They were excited to get on the road anyway, so he left her to it.

Their last stop on the way out of town was Dean’s place. They went up quickly, taking his duffle with them. Dean traded it for a bigger one when he got up there and filled it with clothes. He moved through the condo picking up the few things that were out of place, put the few dirty dishes in the dishwasher and set the alarm. He glanced at his phone when they hopped in the car. “Less than 20 minutes at my place… damn we’re makin’ good time!”

“Are we really going now?” asked Cas with a childlike enthusiasm.

“Hell yeah!” said Dean crankin up the tunes.

They rumbled out onto the expressway heading out of town. “Pull out your phone, Cas.”

“Ok” said Cas, holding it in his palm, “what now?”

“Bring up a map…” Dean said with a sly grin, “you’re the co-pilot.”

“And our destination is the Grand Canyon, right?”

“Yep… and anything we want to see along the way.” confirmed Dean.

“The 205” said Cas with a smile, “want to go through Yosemite?”

“Absolutely” Dean confirmed.

As Dean picked up the 205, they rolled down their windows. It was just after noon and the sun was bright and full. Both boys were full of smiles as they sang along to the radio and motored down the highway.


	11. Checking One Off the Bucket List

Mary started her phone calls with the most important one. Sam.

When the connection was made, the phone went directly to voicemail. She knew this meant that either his phone was off or dead. She left him a message.

“Sam, this is your mother. Call me immediately,” it came out more firmly then she meant it to. She ended the call and then began calling the two board members who she truly counted among their friends. All the executive attorneys were highly skilled and deserving of the place they’d been given on the board. But few were what Mary would’ve considered ‘friends of the family.’ Norman Spencer was one. Deacon Sanford was another. Mary decided against calling any of the wives she knew. Since they weren’t on the board themselves it would feel like she was using the women to get to their husbands and she didn’t want to do that. It would likely be unfruitful anyway and would irrevocably damage the friendships they shared.

When she called Deacon, she didn’t get an answer and had to leave a voice message. But Norman answered her call. She could feel it from his first words to her… he felt bad. She thanked him for taking her call. She said she’d just found out that Dean had been let go and asked Norman to recount for her what had happened in the meeting.

He explained the situation they’d been presented with and that when Deans firing had been suggested as a possible solution to consider, he and several others had disagreed on the basis that it wasn’t entirely fair and that John wouldn’t have liked it.

But, unfortunately, some of the more vocal in the group had pressed the issue. He revealed that once the younger Winchester voted along with them, the rest of the board hadn’t bothered holding back anymore.

Norman asked if she’d known the backstory on Dean and Cas and she confirmed having been aware of Michaels attempted blackmail and the settlement which had followed. He provided her some additional information she’d not been aware of, but nothing earth shattering.

The real heartbreak had been listening to him describe the events of Deans firing. The re-telling of how Dean had actually been throwing punches and the boys having to be separated by other board members pained her.

She apologized for the behavior of both boys, begging Norman to understand how tense they were all still feeling after losing John. Norman said he understood and then sounded a bit choked up himself when he recounted some of the dialog between the boys. Especially the part where Dean had said his father wouldn’t have stood for this. “He was right,” said Mr. Spencer, “John wouldn’t have cut Dean out. Ever.”

 

 

 

 

 

“John wouldn’t have liked the idea of laying off staff either. Has the board discussed any possible ways to save those peoples jobs?” asked Mary.

“No.” Said Mr. Spencer, “Unfortunately not. Layoffs have begun and are on schedule to be completed by the end of the week. All non-essential personnel are being reviewed. It was the position of the board that if Mr. Milton will reconsider his decision once Dean has exited the picture then we can hire them back. But,” he said sadly, “I don’t see that happening. I’ve been in some of the meetings with the upper levels of Baxter/Milton and I just don’t see them re-considering this move. I’d bet the last dollar in my wallet that they’ve already retained another company – likely a larger one.”

Mary thought of Cas. “I agree Norman. I’ve seen them too. They consider no-one.”

“I’m sorry this has happened, Mary. How are the boys doing in the aftermath?” he asked her quietly.

“Not well, I’m afraid.”

“You’ll let me know if there’s anything I can do?”

“Of course, thank you for telling me what I needed to know.”

After the call, Mary sat back on the couch to consider what was really happening between her boys, what they would each be needing from her and how to best provide it.

 

 

 

Dean and Cas traveled for hours before the 580 turned to the 205. By then, the traffic was light and they were moving fast, so they weren’t on it for long, exiting and pressing East on 120. It was getting to be supper-time and the boys decided here was as good as anywhere to get off the road for the evening.

“What?” Said Dean, “You look disappointed.”

“I guess I’m anxious to be away from the city… it doesn’t feel like we got very far because we’re still in this urban sprawl… we just drove past a Costco and a multiplex. I wanted the open road.” Cas confirmed morosely.

“You mean you were hoping we’d catch a glimpse of the middle of nowhere before we stopped for the night?”

“Something like that, I guess.”

Dean smiled at him as they climbed out of the car to fill up the tank, “You should be thankful that you haven’t seen the middle of nowhere yet. You called the Tropicana a dump. I can’t wait to see what you think of Hampton Inn.” Dean teased him.

“The Hampton Inn? Over there?” questioned Cas, pointing.

“Yeah. It’s a good ‘in-betweener’.” Snickered Dean.

“In between what and what?” asked Cas cocking his head to the side in that adorable way that melted Deans heart.

“In between what you’re used to, and what you’re gonna have to _get_ used to!” laughed Dean as he pulled the hose back from the car and mounted it back on the pump.

Cas looked at him dubiously.

“Cas… it’s not that bad. You’ll get used to it. But I have to say, Hampton Inn is the lowest quality place that you can be CERTAIN that your sheets are clean. After this… it’s anybody’s guess.”

“So you’re saying that starting tomorrow – we’ll have sub-par conditions.” Asserted Cas.

“Yes!” said Dean, throwing his arm casually around Cas and guiding him into the gas station, “don’t worry, man. You’ll learn to love it!”

“You’re enjoying this too much Dean” grumbled Cas.

After paying for gas, they rumbled over to the Hampton Inn and got checked in. Cas looked around the room as he laid his duffle on the bed. “It’s not so bad,” he said as he smiled and flopped down on the bed. Dean headed into the bathroom to take a leak and then flopped down next to him, “Yeah… we’ll be comfy tonight. They have an indoor pool if you want to take a swim… or we could walk over to the theater and see a movie… what do you feel like?”

“Movie sounds good,” said Cas.

They walked over to the multiplex and had a choice of several decent movies that would be starting in the next half hour. “You pick,” said Cas, “I always seem to like the movies you choose.”

Dean picked an incredible movie that had them on the edge of their seats the entire time. They continued to discuss the best parts as they walked over to Red Robin which was just on the other side of the huge sprawling parking lot. They ordered beers and relaxed while Dean took far too long trying to pick a burger from the multitude of offerings.

When they had eaten and the waitress was clearing their plates, Cas asked her if they could have a piece of the ‘Mountain High Mud Pie’.

“I’m too full,” smiled Dean while rubbing his belly, “You feed me that and I won’t be good for much else the rest of the night!”

“It’s worth it,” said Cas. “It’ll be better than sex.”

“Really.” Said Dean, looking at Cas with a wicked grin.

“No, but you’ll be glad you had it. If we’re too full later, I’ll settle for a lazy-one-hander.”

They busted out laughing.

Just then, the waitress set down the most incredible looking chocolate monstrosity there ever was.

“Dude,” Dean chuckled, “It’s a good thing you told me that this was pie. I wouldn’t have known what the hell to call it!”

They took out their forks and dug in, moaning over how delicious it was. By the time they’d walked back to the hotel it was getting late. They stripped down to boxers on the way to the bed and crawled in. Dean grabbed the remote and began flipping channels. They never really found anything good enough to keep from flipping channels on the commercials and soon fell asleep.

 

 

 

 

When Sam woke he didn’t move right away. He hoped sleep would come again, but it didn’t. His mind began to wander to Dean, and then to his mother, then to Meg, then class. It didn’t take long for his mind to spin out of control and he had to get up. He staggered to the shower and cleaned up before finally forcing himself to plug in his phone and restore his connection to the world.

He looked around. His place hadn’t been this messy in a while. He began cleaning to keep his mind occupied and when he was finished he sat down on the couch. He could see the blue light on his cell flashing to indicate he had messages. He began with text messages because it was easiest. He didn’t have any. Strange.

Then he checked email. Nothing exciting there either. Finally, he checked his voicemail. Nothing was scary until he heard his mother’s voice. He could tell by her tone that she knew what had happened. He also noted that the message was from yesterday. Yikes. Now he’d have to face double frustration from his mother since it had taken him so long to call her back.

He sat with the phone in his hand willing himself to dial her. He told himself it would only get worse the longer he waited, but it didn’t help. Logic simply couldn’t break through his fear. He set the phone down and decided to try again in an hour.

 

 

 

Cas woke first. The bed had been surprisingly comfortable and Dean was a warm, firm body pressed against him. Cas slid his hand up the man’s thigh and felt him shuffle legs with Cas… one over and one under. Cas smiled to himself and dozed back off again.

He woke for real when he felt the bed shift under the weight of Dean getting up. Cas immediately rolled to him and drug him back. “No fucking way, Winchester.” he said firmly as Dean laughed heavily in his grip.

“Didn’t know you were into the golden showers, Cas.”

“M’not.” said Cas gripping his fingers into Deans hair and pulling his head to the side, pressing a kiss to the pulse point on his man’s neck.

“Well that’s what you’re gonna get if you keep me in bed much longer.” Teased Dean.

Cas begrudgingly let him go, then rolled up on his side to watch the man peel his boxers off as he headed to the bathroom. Cas could not suppress a smile. He loved that ass and those incredible bow legs.

Dean came out yawning and scratching. Not the most appealing picture. Maybe someday Cas would find it a turn off. But now? Nope.

It didn’t stop him from wanting to lick the man from tip of toe to tip of nose. There was no-where he didn’t want to put his mouth on this man.

Dean seemed to sense his mood and crawled back into bed, pressing the long line of his body against Cas. They groaned together as Cas took Dean roughly and turned him over, climbing on top and lowering his stiff prick to Deans firm ass cheeks, rolling from side to side to work his length between them.

“Oh shit Cas,” said Dean, into his pillow.

Cas rolled his hips and watched the muscles in Deans back flex as he pulled his ass up into Cas.

“You wanna fuck me?” asked Dean roughly.

Rather than answer, Cas tightened his grip in Deans hair and pulled, bringing the man’s face up next to his own. Cas turned his mouth to Deans neck and began sucking a healthy sized bruise there while he rolled his hips again, feeling the Deans supple cheeks clench around his hardened member.

Soon he was kicking off blankets and grabbing at the duffle on the floor. He dug around until his hand found the little bottle he’d been searching for. Dean had pulled himself up a bit while Cas was digging and by the time he turned his attention back to his man, lube in hand, the man had pulled pillows down from the head of the bed and stacked them under his groin. His ass was displayed for Cas and Dean was rubbing his crack and opening himself up with his own finger. Holy fuck.

Cas was stunned into stillness for a moment, just watching the show. Dean was humping into the pillows and pressing in a second finger when Cas got up and moved closer. “Dean, fuck!”

“Yeah? You got somthin’ for me Cas?”

Cas lubed up his palm and stroked his cock, watching Dean watch him. Cas moved forward on his knees and plunged his tongue in with Deans finger. Dean slowed and let Cas take over the moment he’d gone down on the man.

Cas felt Dean pull out his finger and moved forward, getting comfortable. He threaded his arms between Dean’s legs and around to grip his cheeks and pull them farther apart. With this hold he was controlling Dean’s entire body and he licked long tracks up the man’s crack and tongued at what he could reach of Deans sack. He drew circles and shapes and letters with his tongue on the flat space between balls and crack, sucking and biting a little too.

Soon he was working back up to Dean’s hole. He tongue fucked his lover until his mouth was tired and then settled for grabbing puckered skin between his teeth gently and listening to Dean moan and shout for him to do it more… harder… faster.

Cas took the lube in shaky, excited hands and began to wet the hole he wanted to sink into. He pressed his knuckle against it firmly and then let up.

Dean immediately started begging for it. “C’mon Cas, need you in me. Wanna come. Please Cas, I’m ready.

Cas could hold off no longer. He moved forward, supporting his weight on knees and one arm while the other hand guided his hot, hard cock into Dean’s tightness. Cas was enthralled with watching it slowly be swallowed up and pulled into Dean.

His man was tense and panting, trying to relax and let the intrusion happen and feeling like Cas was too much. His mind remembered how electric it had felt to be pushed open like this but it was still an overload of sensation that was difficult to manage. His mouth locked open and his breath was shallow, he tried to talk, to let Cas know that he needed to adjust but he had no ability to form words.

Cas took his eyes off the place of his joining with Dean and looked at his man’s graceful back as it arched for him, tilting perfectly to make the slide easier. He saw the man’s mouth locked open and heard his breathing. He immediately stopped moving completely.

Cas spoke to Dean quietly and rubbed his palms slowly and reassuringly over the globes of Deans ass and around his thighs. “Oh Dean,” he said softly, “I love how it feels to be inside you”. He watched Dean relax under his hands and saw a smile touch the corner of his mouth.

“I love feeling you inside me” he said back. “But there’s a lot of you man,” he chuckled, pulling his elbows back and bracing himself before nodding permission for Cas to continue.

Once again, Cas began to sink into Dean, but slower and more gently. Soon they were both panting and moving together. Cas leaned in until his front was on Deans back. Instead of thrusting, he simply followed Dean’s movements. Before long, they found a rhythm together, began building together. Dean was whispering encouragements in Cas’ ear and Cas was kissing his lovers neck while his cock rolled inside him, churning pleasure around and feeling it radiate from his center out ward. The tingles were reaching his fingers and toes and he felt the waves coming to carry him to completion.

He reached forward just a few inches and covered Dean’s fist with his palm. Dean, feeling the same connection, opened his hand and let Cas slot their fingers together. Cas used his leverage and free hand to roll them just a bit to the left, snaking his hand around to grip Dean tightly and help him tip over the edge he’d built up to with a few long smooth strokes.

When the pillows were completely defiled and the bed was an atrocious mess, they staggered to the shower and exchanged lazy kisses while soaping up.

After the shower they dressed, brushed teeth and stopped in the lobby for a damn decent breakfast.

“Well Cas,” smiled Dean, “I think today you’ll be getting to see the wild country you were hoping for.”

Cas returned his smile and climbed into the passenger seat, rolling down the window and resting his arm there.

Dean loved the way Cas looked in profile, sitting in his baby. The sun was up and the few sparse clouds in the sky were puffy and white. The breeze was mild and the miles were stacked out ahead of them.

When Cas started to get bored he fiddled with his phone and texted friends. He took a selfie of himself with Dean in the background, driving and sent it to Aaron, Inias, Kevin, Cole, Gabe and Anna.

“What are you doing?” Dean asked out of curiosity.

“Sending happy pics to my friends.” Said Cas, “I figure some may have heard about what happened and others may not. But regardless, I want them to know that I’m doing ok. That I’m happy.”

“I like that, Cas.” Said Dean thoughtfully, “rather than wait for them to hear it from someone and ask… you just put it out there… and in a positive way. You’re brilliant!”

“What?” said Cas – making like he couldn’t hear Dean over the wind and music.

“You’re brilliant!”

“What?”

“You’re…” Dean then realized Cas was fucking with him. “You’re a douche bag!” he grinned. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and tossed it to Cas. “Here… take one with mine too and we’ll send it to my friends.”

Cas slid across the middle and got Dean into the shot, making sure that the camera was far enough back to capture the steering wheel so people could easily tell they were in the car. Dean made sure to put his arm around cas in a way that could only be construed as romantic. Cas had to try a few times before he got one that he felt conveyed ‘road-trip’ but once he was satisfied he slid back to his side and asked, “Who am I sending this to?”

“Well, mom of course.” Dean smiled, thinking of Mary.

“Done. Who else?”

“Pam and Chris… Tom… Dave… Benny...” Dean paused and then said, “Shit Cas, I should fucking have you send that to the board of directors!” When they’d finished laughing Dean added, “You know what, send it to Jo too.”

“I don’t remember Jo. Who is he?”

“She. Jo Harvelle, she was on the roof the night we met.”

“Oh yeah. Liked her. She was a spitfire.”

“Cas, you would only know that if you had hit on her.” Dean smiled.

“Well Dean, I’m only human.”

They shared a smile and Cas sent the pictures to everyone, then settled back into the seat, watching nothing but green forest flash by his window.

“If you see an outfitting store… you should stop,” said Cas, “I feel a hike coming on with all these damn trees.”

Dean grinned at Cas who was tucking himself down in the seat as if to take a nap. Dean turned down the music a little and let his mind wander while Cas napped.

The next few days were a blur for the boys. They wore no watches and kept no schedule. They ate, slept and fucked when they felt like it. They stopped to take pictures whenever there was a worthy sight and they’d taken advantage of recreational opportunities that fell in their laps as they moved south-east through Yosemite.

Cas’ photo’s had provoked quite a reaction from their friends. Cas was right… some had heard and some hadn’t. But for most everyone they knew… those pictures were very telling. It was their own way of coming out.

Pam had responded to her text from Dean almost instantly. “Where the fuck are you?”

“Road-trip!” he’d responded.

“Say hi to Cas for me!”

“Will do.”

“Where u headed?”

“Grand Canyon”

“Send me some pics!”

“Will do. Tell Chris hi for me”

“Will do.”

Dean found a response from his mom via text as well…

“Glad to see you both smiling again! Have fun!”

The one from Benny was laugh out loud funny… “Who the fuck is that and why aren’t you at work?”

“That’s my man Cas – u met him, remember? We’re roadtrippin to the Grand Canyon. Why work when you can play?” he’d responded. Let Benny chew on that for a while, he chuckled.

His response from Jo was equally adorable…

“Is that my man Cas? What the fuck Winchester? Did you jump ship?”

Cas had a good time laughing at his responses as well. From Aaron: “Dude… I thought you were in your office all this time!”

From Anna: “Cassie you guys are adorable! Wish I was with you… getting close here. Just a matter of days!”

From Gabe: “How’d you score a 10 Cas? You’re a seven tops!”

From Cole: “Where are you?”

“Yosemite. Road-trip to Grand Canyon”

“Awesome. How long u gone?”

“A week or so I guess. Came out to my fam so I’m out of a job. Why rush back?”

“Sorry bout the fam. Are you ok about it?”

“Yes. I’m happy.”

“I can tell. Send me pics of the canyon!”

“Tell the ball and chain hello for me!”

It was an excellent couple of days. The hiking had been great and they’d stayed at a campground that was attached to an RV park for two nights. They’d been able to walk in without a reservation and book a small log cabin. The string of cabins was located along a lake shore so it was beautiful.

They’d gone out back after dark and lit a fire in the pit on their first night. The couple in the neighboring cabin had come out after putting their kids to bed and sat around the fire with them, passing around a joint and chatting about everything from their favorite activities in the park to their hilarious adventures trying to ‘rough it’ with their kids in tow.

The second day, they’d done a combination hike and climb trip with a guide. When they’d returned to their cabin after dark, they’d tiptoed out to the water and gone skinny dipping. It was cold enough to shrivel up balls like raisins… but they’d had a great time. Then, they’d settled in front of a fire out back again, cozied up under a large blanket and watching the stars as the embers from the fire danced upward.

These things were the closest Cas had ever been to really camping and he was loving it.

They’d taken lots of pictures of the nature they were enjoying and sent them to Mary in an album. Then Dean had called her and talked her through the pics, telling her everything about his experiences. He’d lingered on the phone with her for almost two hours. He realized then, that he didn’t need to be in her house to be part of her life. His Tuesday/Thursday routine that he’d promised Sam could easily still be observed from the road. He’d just have to be creative about it.

They had a hard time leaving the cabin, but the call of the open road couldn’t be ignored for long. When they emerged from the lush park, they were greeted with the relentless desolation of Death Valley.

“It’s a lot harder to find something to want to take a picture of here.” Grumbled Cas.

“No dick pics!” barked Dean, laughing. “I don’t care how bored you get!”

Not ten seconds went by and Dean heard the click of the camera.

“You’re like a child, Cas, I swear!” Dean admonished, grinning.

“Well, at least I didn’t send it to your mom” Cas threw back at him.

“Send it to Sam,” said Dean, still laughing. But Cas noticed that Dean got quiet after. He tried for several minutes to think of something to help get Deans mind off his brother before the man started to get really down. He could think of only one sure thing.

And since there was no danger of hitting another car (because there was nothing but miles of open desert around them) he had nothing to lose. He slid over and began teasing Dean’s package. He watched Dean carefully and when he saw the traces of a smile ghosting the corners of the man’s mouth, he unzipped his man and laid mouth to that gorgeous dick. Free from interruption, only the music on the radio for noise, Cas worked Dean over fully, taking his time. He licked and sucked and played and all he wanted. (It’s not like he was missing much for scenery)

Cas could feel Dean really enjoying the treatment, but then he felt the car start to slow and eventually pull over and put tires to the sand on the side of the road.

Cas picked his head up to see why they’d stopped. The only explanation he received was the smirk on Dean’s face. “What?” questioned Cas.

Dean inclined his head, gesturing for Cas to follow him. Cas crawled out the driver door and looked around. Nothing but flat greyish sand and little tufts of weeds for as far as the eye could see in any direction. The hazy shape of small desert dunes played off in the distance. It was as alone as Cas had ever felt in his life.

Dean didn’t wait for Cas to look back to him. As his eyes were sweeping the landscape, Dean put hands to Cas’ waist and shoulder, literally flinging him to the hood of the Impala. Cas smiled to himself realizing Deans intention. He waited just a moment to feel Dean’s rough hands on him again.

With Dean pulling one hand behind his back, Cas leaned forward, resting his weight on the hood, feeling the front tire against the toe of his shoe. Dean moved his hand beneath Cas and quickly undid his pants, jerking them roughly down. Cas rested his cheek on the hood of the car. It was warm from the sun and from running for hundreds of miles without stopping.

Cas felt his pants jerked down. His cock, which had been hard and leaking for miles while he sucked off Dean, sprang loose and swung there in the harsh desert air. His heavy member was just waiting for a reach around. But none was coming.

Dean gruffly kicked Cas’ shoes – knocking his feet apart as wide as they’d go with this cargo pants around his ankles. He felt Dean pull his briefs down too – leaving them stretched over his thighs and his bare ass facing the highway.

Cas had one free hand and he moved it to his dick which was needy for touch. Dean wrenched his arm away and pulled it behind his back to join with the other.

“If you touch your dick again, I will punish you.”

Cas smiled, unable to contain his excitement at this new game. Dean manipulated Cas’ hands so he could hold both with one hand. Cas let him. The next thing he felt was Dean’s huge dick pressed against his bare ass.

Even though they were alone right now, a car could go by at any moment, and here was Cas, spread out over the side of Deans Car, ass bared and cock swinging with Dean behind him ready to fuck in. Cas’ dick grew even harder thinking of it. He waited, having felt Dean pull back, assuming the man was going to thrust into him with a powerful snap. But there was just nothing… nothing from Dean. Where was he?

Cas picked up his head and looked back at Dean. The man was standing tall and proud and holding Cas down with one hand, pulling the other back as if to swing…

 _Sweet lord he’s going to spank me_ – thought Cas. He felt a bubble of sheer excitement lift from his chest to the back of his throat. He pressed his ass backward hoping to meet a hot and heavy hand.

Still nothing. _Where is he? –_ thought Cas again. He turned his head again, searching. Dean was looking straight at him, arm lowered at Cas’ back side and lining up again.

“Don’t fucking tease me Dean…”

“You don’t tell me what to do. You’re the one needing an ass whippin’… Now you take it how I choose to give it!”

Cas turned his face back to the car and waited again, loving the wait. And hating it.

The first snap of sound accompanied a minor sting. Cas exhaled with it and enjoyed the sting and the tingles that accompanied it, spreading out over his ass and radiating to his dick.

Before he had time to wish for another – it was delivered.

Then he heard Dean’s belt buckle clinking and had a brief moment of sadness that it was over. Dean was going to fuck him now having only spanked him twice. Perhaps he hadn’t emphasized enough to Dean that he wanted it to hurt. He wanted pink cheeks. He wanted to squirm in his seat remembering what his man had done to him.

Wrong again. The clink of the belt buckle was followed by the swishing sound of a belt clearing belt loops. Fast. Cas angled his face to watch Dean from the corner of his eye.

The man gathered the belt in his hand, folding it in half and half again. Then he raised his arm and belted Cas firmly across both ass cheeks. The pain was instant and overwhelming. He’d been belted several times as a young boy and he’d almost forgotten the sensation. Now here it was again. Not once, not twice. Three times in quick succession and with Deans arm at full extension. Cas could feel the red stripes welting across his cheeks. Damn.

Cas’ knees buckled under the force and the pain. He cried out fully and little tears pricked at the corner of his eyes. He felt waves of pain radiating out and as he heard the belt hit the ground he relaxed knowing it was over. The tingles from being struck were still spreading over him. He felt himself smile a little, with sick satisfaction. He’d wanted it to hurt. Dean had managed to give him what he’d fantasized about but in a bigger and better way than he’d pictured it.

Never would he forget what Dean looked like, young and strong and raising that belt over his shoulder, his image cut sharp across the open expanse of blue sky. Now he felt hands roaming over his stinging cheeks, and spreading his ass apart. He couldn’t help himself. He pushed back against it, seeking Dean.

Suddenly Cas realized that the hands restraining him were gone. So he folded his arms under his head, resting his wet cheek on them to get more comfortable. He heard the tear of a pouch of lube and felt Dean’s fingers press in. His pulse quickened as those fingers began to move.

In true form, Dean opened him up slowly, like they had all the time in the world. He teased with his fingers and alternated the strokes from light to heavy and back again and pulled over his sweet spot rhythmically until Cas was rocking back into him and begging to be fucked.

Only then did Dean reach around and take Cas in hand. He gripped tightly and jacked Cas with a firm but slow hand. He could feel Dean at his back, but the man wasn’t pushing in.

The waiting was driving Cas wild. “Dean, please.” He tried.

“Please what? Bad boy needs my cock to come?”

“Fuck yes, Dean. I need your cock now. Please.”

“Oh yeah,” Dean said softly as he pushed into Cas slow and deep, “I need you too Cas.”

Deans hand was still stroking Cas firmly as he bottomed out and both men were moaning loudly and starting to move.

Cas was so hot for Dean and he suddenly realized that he could be as loud as he wanted to be. There was literally no one to hear them. “Oh fuck Dean, Cas yelled out. Spank me again!”

Dean looked down at his hard cock rolling in and out of Cas’ tightness and brought his hand down in a frim, open handed spanking. Cas’ cheeks were stained red from the whipping he’d taken and now his firm globes were reverberating from another smack. Cas screamed out into the silent desert and as Dean snapped his hips and began fucking him harder, he screamed again and again. Cas’ hoarse cries of pleasure cut through the stillness and soaked into the vacuum of the harsh landscape. There was nothing here to cause an echo.

Deans dick swelled up like a billy club hearing Cas carry on like a porn star and he couldn’t help dishing out harder and harder thrusts – hoping for more and more from Cas who was pushing off from the car with all the strength of a grown man and begging Dean for more and more until finally he blew up against the car – painting it with his come and mewling praises for Dean.

Dean followed shortly after, hardly able to control himself as he checked one off his bucket list. (Fuck Cas on the hood of the Impala – check)

When they were finished they pulled up pants and got back in the car. Cas looked in the mirror. He was a mess. The car had been dirtier than he’d thought. He was covered with grit and his tear streaks were brown from it – not clear as they would’ve been if he were clean.

He pulled off his shirt and wiped his face down. Dean was dusty too, they were a mess. But Cas found himself unable to suppress a smile and when he looked at Dean he saw the man working hard to keep his tame too.

When their eyes met, they both laughed out loud. Dean put his arm up on the back of the seat and jerked his head to indicate Cas should slide over.

He did. It felt great to sit in the middle, next to Dean and feel the man’s arm around his shoulders as they drove. He leaned forward and turned on the radio, then settled back comfortably against Dean’s arm. Both men were content to be sweaty and dirty as they snaked through the rough desert terrain.

As dusk approached, they slowed, coming to an oasis of civilization in the middle of all that nothingness. A neatly manicured property loomed before them, the sign designating it ‘Furnace Creek Ranch’.

Cas tipped his head towards Dean, prepared to give full on puppy eyes if need be. But apparently no begging would be needed. Dean smiled widely at Cas and gave an exaggerated nod of agreement. They pulled into the property and jaw dropped. Perhaps it was partly because they’d seen nothing but brown and grey sand and weeds all day… but the place was like a garden of eden. There was an enormous azure pool surrounded by lush green palms. The buildings were beautifully manicured and clean. Suddenly, Cas was aware of being completely parched in addition to being dirty on the level of your average cowboy in the wild west.

They moved to the counter literally crossing fingers that there would be vacancy. And there was. They wound up with a poolside room. Cas was intrigued as he took the brochures handed to him.

“Dean… this place is a working ranch.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. They have horseback tours of the salt flats and foot hills… there’s even a sunset ride!”

“That’s great Cas. But I’m hitting a pool before anything else,” Dean said matter-of-factly.

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” said Cas, hoisting his duffel on his shoulder and grabbing their keys.

“Been waiting this whole trip to see you in those red trunks Cas,” winked Dean as they entered their room.

“Oh Dean, this place is like heaven!” he exclaimed, taking in the beautiful room with white bed spreads and soft pillows.

“Well,” said Dean – dropping their bags on bed, “Kiss me once more while you’re still dirty… I secretly love it.”

Cas smiled, turning towards Dean and letting the man wrap arms fully around him to pull him close. The kiss was so deep that Cas almost got lost in it. Almost. He felt Dean tugging up his shirt and they broke apart to get it over his head.

Dean stepped back from him and gestured to the duffle. “Red trunks” he smiled.

Cas beamed back at him, stripping down and watching Dean do the same. It took them just a few moments to get into trunks and dash out the glass door that lead from their room directly outside. They followed a cobblestone path, practically running like little kids and around the bend was the pool deck. The pool was hardly being used and the two men laughed roughly and ran the last ten yards before launching into the cool blue water. It was paradise!

They laughed together taking turns splashing and dunking each other until they were tired. They floated around and lounged against the wall for a while. As the sun began sinking, families with kids began to emerge on the scene. Dean had had enough anyway and motioned for Cas. They headed back to their room to hop in the shower together. Dean’s eyes were glued to Cas as those red shorts hit the floor.

Dean soaped up and washed his hair with eyes only for Cas’ sleek, wet form. They toweled off and headed down for dinner. The restaurant was nice, and Cas had to laugh when they each ordered and drank several glasses of water before starting in on beers.

With full bellies and a nice buzz, they headed upstairs. Cas called down and made reservations for a ride the next day since it was too late for one today. Dean wasn’t sure that horseback sounded like fun to him but he was willing to go along for Cas.

They laid out in the comfort of a five star bed in front of a giant flat screen and lit a joint to pass back and forth. Cas took on a mocking tone with Dean,

“Oh it’s all gonna be downhill after Hampton Inn,” he goaded – throwing Deans words back at him, “no more clean sheets after Hampton Inn.”

“Yeah, yeah” smiled Dean, “laugh it up. You’re lucky I’m not wearin’ a belt!” he said teasingly.

Dean flicked channels searching for something to watch and Cas got up for a few minutes to plug in their chargers for the laptop and phones before moving to the bathroom to hang their wet suits.

As Dean flashed past the news, he found himself flicking back to it because something had caught his attention. It was an exterior shot of the Baxter/Milton building. As the flicked back to that channel the image became the front of the San Francisco county courthouse. The announcer’s voice-over transferred the audience to a reporter’s live feed…

“In other local news, a whopping three class action lawsuits were filed this morning at the San Francisco county courthouse against the pharmaceutical giant Baxter/Milton…”

“Fuck!” yelled Dean towards Cas who was in the bathroom, “Cas! Get out here!”

“What?” he said, stumbling out quickly.

Dean didn’t answer, he simply gaped and pointed at the TV.

“…the suits are the collective effort of two local attorneys’ offices who have filed the suits claiming that the company’s falsification of research data for the FDA led to the wrongful deaths of five individuals and the permanent disability of several others. The combined lawsuits allege a laundry list of dishonest dealings, records and research tampering as well as fraudulent statements made to the public. Join us at nine am tomorrow for a live interview with a spokesman for the prosecution against the company with our own Michelle Dorland…”

Cas was gaping. So was Dean. They were two fish.

“Holy shit!” said Dean when he’d recovered himself. He looked over at Cas. “Holy shit!” they said again, in unison.

Cas fumbled over to his phone to call Anna. It had been dead when he put it on the charger but he sat down on the floor so he could leave it plugged in as he turned it on.

It came to life in his impatient hands and indicated new messages. He glanced at the texts. Indeed there was one from Anna that had likely come in while they were out of range in Death Valley.

“Zero hour.” It said. “Hold onto your hat!”

Cas looked at Dean. “I can’t believe it’s finally happening.”

“Me either.” He croaked. “Guess we better set an alarm for the morning, cause we’re gonna wanna catch the news!”

Cas shuffled back up onto the bed and took the joint that Dean was still holding. He puffed long and deep. “This is huge” said Cas.

“Yeah.”

Neither man spoke again for quite some time, each lost in their own thoughts. Eventually, Dean flipped the channel to Comedy Central where they watched a very crude and very funny man with a thick Australian accent who doubled them over laughing again and again. It was quite a fun night. When they finally settled down to sleep, Cas felt wonderful surrounded by soft, smooth, white sheets and Deans strong arms.

When the alarm went off in the morning, Dean and Cas both sat up straight in the bed and turned on the TV to watch the news. Cas pulled his phone into his lap. They watched Michelle Dorland interview Mitch Tompkins who was introduced as the spokesman for the combined cases against Baxter/Milton.

He clearly had some talking points ready-made but answered all questions posed to him by Ms. Dorland. In a nutshell, he told the public that Baxter/Milton had been dishonest for decades about the safety and effectiveness of the drugs they engineered and people had been suffering from preventable medical issues because of it.

The antithesis of their assertion was the deaths of three people who should have never been on the drug in the first place and if the clinical trial information hadn’t been manipulated – they wouldn’t have been. The deaths had been caused by hypertension which resulted from an electrolyte imbalance caused by interactions with certain medications.

Mr. Tompkins went on to say that there were other suits in the planning stages and that they hoped these cases would create public awareness regarding the methods by which the public are enticed into the use of drugs.

Ms. Dorland concluded the interview with a reminder to the viewing audience that the US is one of the only countries in the world that allows direct marketing of prescription drugs to its citizens and re-iterated Mr. Tompkins position that perhaps that is truly not in the best interest of the general public. Her statement was punctuated by two notable assertions.

First, the enticement of the public with a new drug creates a higher demand for it and speeds up the process by which it reaches high levels of consumption. The result, she said may be that we’re all “gobbling these pills faster than we can find out their long term effects.”

Second, was the fact that the costs of advertising increase the cost of the drugs themselves “which in turn means the companies that manufacture drugs have to charge more for them and we end up driving up or own costs – only to be teased with something we can’t get without a doctor’s prescription anyway.”

Dean found himself nodding along with her. He and Cas glanced at each other and nodded ascent. “Good interview” said Dean. “Yeah.” Said Cas – clearly still a bit shell shocked.

“I’m going to call Anna,” said Cas.

“I’m going down to the gift shop,” said Dean, sliding into a pair of shorts and t-shirt. Cas could tell that Dean was trying to give him some privacy and he sent a grateful smile to the man who winked him a good-bye as he stepped out of the room.

 

 

 

Sam woke with a start. He hadn’t meant to go to sleep. He looked around wondering what day it even was. He pulled his phone out and glanced at the screen. Holy shit! He’d slept all through the night. Now another day had gone by. He’d missed another set of classes and he still hadn’t called his mother. _What am I doing?_ – he thought.

He looked at his screen closer and saw that he had text messages.

The first text was from his mom: “Call me Sam.”

The next was from Meg: “How u holdin up?”

The last was from Ruby: “Lunch today at 1:00 – Branner Dining Hall.”

Sam was a bit overwhelmed.  He answered Meg first. “I will live. Thanks for checking on me.”

Then he answered Ruby: “Ok”

Then he texted his mother: “I can’t face you.”

 _Well_ , he thought, _that was easy enough. Why didn’t I do that three days ago?_

Dean ambled through the gift shop. He found a giant bear in the corner and picked it up. The asking price was ridiculous considering what he planned to do with it, but he carried it to the counter anyway. He also bought a Death Valley T-shirt. Then, he stopped at the front desk and requested help shipping the bear.

While he waited for the front desk person to rustle up a box large enough, he put the t-shirt on the bear. Then he took a marker from the counter and wrote a note on the front of the T-shirt. When the box was passed over the counter to him, he pushed the bear into it and let the employees help him tape it up. He stood there while they filled out a shipping label for him and he had them bill the costs to the room.

Mr. Big Bear was shipping to one Mary Winchester via FedEx air - next day delivery. Dean smiled and headed back up to his room.

 

 

Cass called Anna and she picked up on the first ring. “What the fuck Cassie?”

Cas spit water through his nose hearing his sister say the F-word. “Damn Anna!”

“Kinda thought you might call me yesterday!” she squeeled at him, “Now give me the excuse why you didn’t!”

“No cell reception in Death Valley?”

“Oh” she grumbled, “I guess that’s ok.”

Cas chuckled at her, “I saw it.”

“What did you think?”

“I think I’m glad I’m not Dad right now!” he grinned.

“Oh Cassie, this is going to make a difference,” she breathed.

“I know.” He said. “I love that you were part of this. I mean that.”

“Thanks,” she said quietly. “Oh… I have to go. Lots going on here. Watch the news every chance you get!” she enthused.

“We will.”

When he hung up he was smiling for her. For all of them. Even Michael.

 

 

 

 

Dean and Cas went on the ride that Cas had reserved for them. Three hours in a saddle. Dean felt like it was a punishment. Cas had a blast. Needless to say, a hot tub soak was the order of the day when they got back to the Inn. They stopped in their room to change into suits and found their phones blowing up. Everyone who ever knew Cas, as well as everyone who knew Dean was involved with Cas had texted them today.

Dean rolled his eyes and dropped his phone on the bed. Cas looked up at him.

“What?” Dean laughed, “I’ll answer them all when I’m bored waiting for my food to come at dinner. Right now, I’m heading for the hot tub. You comin?”

“Yes,” Cas smiled, “I like the way you prioritize, Winchester.”


	12. I Never Saw This Coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cheers to MoniJune... who definitely saw this coming!

Sam looked at the clock. 11:15. He had a little over an hour before he should be leaving to meet Ruby. Some part of his brain nagged at him for his priorities. He knew he should be going over to see his mother, not going on a date with Ruby. But a date would be easy. His mother would be hard. He threw his laundry in the wash and then grabbed a shower. He took the time to shave and trim and put some effort into his appearance for the first time in days.

When he moved though Branner Hall, he took notice of the differences between these living quarters and his own.

There were no shitty dorms at Stanford. But if there was a bottom rung… this would be it. The exterior of the building, the main entry and common areas were aesthetically pleasing. But the actual dorm rooms left a lot to be desired and most everyone in this building had at least one roommate. He guessed that Ruby must have two or three based on her question about how many people he shares a bathroom with.

He moved through the building toward the dining hall which was located in the back. When he stepped in he began looking around for Ruby. He spied her sitting at a table nearby, reading. When he stepped up to her she looked up at him and gave him a polite smile.

“Sam Winchester,” she said, “Glad you could make it.”

“Well, thanks for inviting me,” he smiled to her, pulling out a chair.

“Are you hungry Sam?”

“Not particularly,” he said, being honest.

“I’m not either. I mostly wanted to talk.”

“Ok, so let’s talk.” He said it with more confidence then he was actually feeling. There was something about her demeanor that reminded him of a business lunch, rather than two people meeting because they’re attracted to each other and want to spend time together.

“I like you Sam.”

“I like you too Ruby.”

“But, I know you. I know your reputation, which you’ve been kind enough not to deny.”

Sam didn’t speak, just acknowledged her with a nod and waited for her to continue.

“I think I’d enjoy spending time with you, getting to know you better, even dating. But I have some concerns.”

He waited.

“My biggest worry is your track record for loyalty. Especially given that you haven’t even been loyal to your own brother as of late.”

“Okay Ruby, that stings a little.”

“Truth hurts, right Sam?”

“I guess so.”

“Well, I’m guessing that you’ve had girls in the past that you’ve honestly cared for and wanted to be true to. Am I right?”

“Yes. Only one, but yes.”

“You couldn’t be faithful to her could you?”

“No.” _Jesus, why am I being so honest with her?_ \- He thought.

“You tried, right? Just couldn’t resist temptation?”

“Yes.”

“Sam, I don’t date a lot of guys. But when I do… the one thing I expect from them is loyalty. Being faithful is part of that. But by your own admission, I shouldn’t realistically be expecting that of you, should I?”

“No. You’re right. I would tell you I want to be faithful. I would meant it. But I’ve never actually been able to pull off a monogamous relationship before. You’re right not to trust me.”

“I find your honesty refreshing. It’s nice to have an adult conversation with a man once in a while.”

“Ruby, where are you going with this?”

“If you want me… I will try with you. But you have to promise to be faithful and mean it.”

“I do.” Said Sam with certainty, “and I will.”

“Ok. I understand that you’ve never been able to stay monogamous before. That will change with me. I will help you learn to be faithful.”

“You sound awfully sure of yourself” grinned Sam.

“I am.” She said smiling deviously at him, “Lets to up to my room.”

As she took his hand, Sam could only think – _Wow. Didn’t see this coming._

She put her book into her backpack and slung it over her shoulder, leading him back out of the dining hall. He followed her back through the grand hallway and up the stairs to the second floor and down the longest hallway in the world, to her door.

She put the key in the lock and as she held the door open for him to follow her in, she told him that this was the only time of day that she was guaranteed not to have any roommates home.

She dropped her bag unceremoniously on the chair near the door and grabbed him forcefully by the belt as she turned and walked backward – practically dragging him to her bedroom.

She shoved him toward her bed and locked her door before climbing on top of him, leaning down to kiss him. It was their first kiss. It should’ve been tender and sweet. That was in the handbook of first kisses. This was anything but sweet.

She was powerful and she dominated the kiss completely. He surrendered to her immediately and pulled his hands up to grasp her ass. Feeling his hands on her, she moaned into his mouth and deepened the kiss a bit more before pulling back.

“I’m glad you want to give us a try. You’re free to walk away at any time if it’s too much for you. I will respect your decision and not make you feel guilty about it. But you will never lie to me Sam Winchester. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” He already respected her more than most of the girls he’d ever met. He watched her lean over to her nightstand and pull a box out of the drawer. He thought it was condoms at first and his dick began to fill just thinking about getting laid.

She pushed herself back so that she was straddling his thighs instead of his waist and looked him in the eye while she moved her hands to his belt buckle. The tension in the room was thick as she undid his pants and drew his stiffening cock out into the cool of the room.

“Sam Winchester,” she smirked at him, “Your reputation is well founded,” she said approvingly, holding his huge cock in her hand firmly. “Don’t be scared, ok?”

 _What?_ – he thought. Then he watched with interest as she opened the box. It was not condoms. She pulled out a plastic contraption that he didn’t recognize. “What is that?” he asked her, growing a bit nervous.

“Sam, this is a cock cage. It’s like a chastity belt for men. I will be keeping the key. It will insure that you fuck no one but me. Do I have your permission to put it on you?”

Sam felt his jaw drop open. He looked from her to the device and back to her again. “I… don’t… know” he stammered.

She preceded to take it apart and show him how it fit together. She told him he’d be able to pee with it on and that she’d be the one to take care of keeping it clean. “I will be taking care of your dick, Sam. In every way. Now, do I have your permission to put this on you?”

“Yes” he said, surprising himself.

“Good boy,” she purred for him. She set the contraption aside on the bed and began stroking his wilting cock. “Such a good boy for me, aren’t you Sam?” she said as she leaned in and licked the tip.

“Yesss” he hissed in satisfaction as she began to work on him. He dropped his head back on her pillow and let her do her thing, trying not to think about the fact that he’d just agreed to put his new girlfriend in complete control of his dick.

Ruby’s hair fell around her shoulders as she set to work, passionately working her mouth around him and rolling her tongue around his shaft. She licked upward from base to tip and the sucked him in forcefully and slid back down smoothly- taking him in all the way to the back of her throat.

Her expert hands worked his balls over while her finger traced back into his crack, teasing his hole, and she worked her mouth up and down on him in a feverish and urgent way. It didn’t take long for his balls to pull up and his stomach to quiver with expectation of release. He hadn’t come in days and clearly, Ruby was a pro.

He felt her tighten around him and work faster; and as he got close she began to moan like she was sucking delicious chocolate out of a garden hose, when really she was pulling spunk from his tip.

 _Hell yes I’ll give this woman control of my dick!_ – he thought as he came.

He fought the urge to press his hand to the back of her head and lock her down on him as he came down her throat. It didn’t matter. She was locked on him without his help. Not only did she swallow him down, but she licked him clean and smiled around his cock as she pulled away.

She left him for a moment to grab a warm wet cloth from the bathroom to clean him up with. The only other woman who’d ever thought to do that for him had been Meg.

One day and this chick was giving Meg a run for her money. That was saying something.

Because of his delight with the amazing head she’d just given him, he almost forgot about having agreed to wear a cage around his dick. When he heard plastic parts being manipulated he opened his eyes. He looked uncertainly at her and she flashed him a reassuring smile.

She moved slowly, allowing him to watch as she carefully manipulated his balls through a clear plastic ring. Then she gently pushed his wilted and spent cock into a plastic sleeve and clicked the two pieces together with a few snaps. Then she brought out the tiniest little padlock you’ve ever seen. He watched as she kissed it and then slid it through the slot where it locked his dick to his balls.

Cage was right. This thing wasn’t coming off. Even if he wanted to get it off and decided to break it… he’d likely hurt himself doing it. He watched her put the key on a chain that was hanging from her neck. _Oh my God!_ – he thought – _She’s wearing the key to my dick as a necklace!_

“How sick is it that I’m actually turned on by you wearing that key around your neck?”

“I won’t take it off Sam. I promise.” She said smiling at him.

He looked down at his whipped little cock. _Ruby’s whipped little cock –_ he corrected himself.

Ruby looked at him with a serious face. “How do you feel Sam?”

“Good, I think?”

“You don’t have to do anything different. Shower, pee, whatever. But getting hard will hurt. Be careful of looking at tits and ass… especially porn. It would be painful.”

“Ok.”

“I have class in half an hour. I need to walk you out.” She said zipping him back into his pants.

She walked him to his car and he leaned in to give her a kiss good-bye before settling in behind the wheel. “This feels so weird” he said to her shyly.

“It’s for your own good” she said smiling.

Ugh. What had he gotten himself into???

 

 

 

The sound of the doorbell interrupted a blissful sleep. Mary swung legs over the edge of the bed and glanced at the clock. 8:20 am.  She moved to the window and looked down to the circle drive to see if she recognized the vehicle, wondering who was visiting so early. It was a Fedex truck.

She threw on her robe and went downstairs. By the time she got to the door, the truck was already pulling out of the driveway, having left her package on the stoop.

It was so big that Mary had to wonder how she’d be able to carry it in the house. She opened the door and stepped out in pink robe and slippers to examine the box. As she tipped it she found that it was light enough to carry inside. She pushed it to the center of the floor and went to the kitchen for a scissors to open it with. Once she had the top open she laughed out loud at the giant white bear in the box. She reached in and gleefully pulled out the bear, laughing and saw that the bear was wearing a ‘Death Valley’ t-shirt. Hand written in black marker were the words, ‘Love and big bear hugs from your two favorite troublemakers!’

Decorum forgotten completely, she hugged the bear to herself and squeezed tight, smiling widely at her sons antics.

Before she had a chance to talk herself out of it, she leaned in with the bear and snapped a selfie of herself with it. She sent it to Dean with a text message that said, ‘Loved my bear hug!”

 

 

 

Dean was awakened to his cell phone chirping again. He and Cas had emptied their voicemails and texts at dinner last night, returning texts from their table in the restaurant and calls from their room when they’d returned to it. Now they’d each had several straggling messages come in at all hours of the night and Dean was starting to lose his patience. He glanced at the clock thinking it must be 3 or 4 in the morning. To his surprise it was 9:45.

“Wow,” Dean said out loud, “those drapes really do the trick”. He padded over to pull them open and sun filled the room. He moved to his phone and saw that the text that had woken him was from his mom. He smiled seeing her picture and handed his phone to Cas who was just yawning and stretching. Cas took the phone from him and squinted to see the picture through crusty eyes.

“Is that what you got in the gift shop yesterday?” he asked smiling.

“Yep.”

“You’re fucking adorable, Dean.”

“Don’t you dare tell anyone,” he teased, running his hand up and down Cas’ arm while he waited for his phone back.

“No one would believe me anyway,” Cas tossed back at him.

“How long til you’re ready to check out?” Dean asked him.

“Umm… I guess an hour or so? I wanted to call Anna before we move back out into the land of no cell service.”

“I was gonna call mom too.” Said Dean.

“Ok. I’ll grab a shower while you call your mom. Then you can shower while I call Anna,” said Cas as he pulled himself out of bed.

“You feel like breakfast? We could get room service if you want, instead of going down to the restaurant.” Offered Dean.

“That sounds great,” said Cas, moving to the bathroom, “Dam… I’m sore from riding yesterday.” He chuckled, “I feel like I’m walking on bowlegs… is this what it feels like when you walk, Dean?” Cas teased him.

“Oh yeah, you laugh it up there buddy, I’m just gonna grab my belt,” Dean grinned.

At his threat, Cas sprinted to the bathroom laughing. Dean was still smiling when he dialed Mary’s number.

She answered on the first ring, “Good morning, Dean!”

“Morning Mom. I’m glad you like your furry friend!”

“That was so sweet of you boys! Thank you for thinking of me.”

“I miss you mom.” Said Dean, surprised to realize that he meant it.

“Aww… being home for a day will cure that.” He could hear the smile in her voice.

“Mom, have you seen the news?”

“Yes. How is he holding up?”

“Well. He’s doing so well mom. Thanks for asking. He’s very proud of Anna for her part in this… we both are.”

“Is there anything I can do?” she asked.

“Nope. I would let you know if there was.”

“Where are you boys today?”

“We’re still in Death Valley. There’s an awesome resort here that we stumbled on. Cas drug me horseback riding on the salt flats yesterday… the trail went up into the dunes a bit. I’m sore from it today.”

“Sounds exciting. Are you still taking lots of pictures?”

“Yep… I’ll be sending you another batch in a few days. We’re gonna hit the road here in about an hour. We’re only a few hours from Las Vegas.”

“How long will you be staying there?”

“We’re not.” said Dean, “Been there. Done that. We’re passing it by. I think Cas wants to see the Hoover Damn and then we’re gonna see what’s to do on Lake Mead before we actually start touring the Canyon.”

“I’m so glad you boys are having such a good trip,” she said.

“Me too. It’s been a rough couple of months. Feels good to get away from the real world for a while and just have some fun.” He paused and then said, “I promise that I’m not avoiding anything mom. When we get back, I’m going to get another job. I just don’t really know what I want to do yet.”

“I know sweetie. There’s no rush. If you need time, then take some time.”

“Ok. I just didn’t want you to think I was going to be a permanent slacker. I’ll find something useful to do with my life. Dad may be gone, but I still want to make him proud.”

“You’re already becoming what your father wanted you to be Dean.”

“How do you figure?”

“It is simple Dean. Just be your own man. That’s all your father ever really wanted you boys to be.”

Dean was silent for a moment, thinking.

“Be your own man.” she repeated.

Dean heard Cas’ shower shut off, “Hey mom, I gotta go for now but I’ll give you a call later this week ok?”

“Ok sweetie, I love you!”

“You too mom, and thanks.”

 

 

 

Sam parked his car and headed back to his condo. The bulky contraption between his legs drew his attention to his dick with every step. How could he forget about sex and be faithful when he had a constant reminder of the essence of his sexuality clamped firmly between his legs?

At first he thought that everyone who met him could tell he was wearing it. But he watched the faces of those he met carefully and none seemed to notice.

When he entered his apartment he went straight to the full length mirror in his closet and looked at himself in profile, head-on, bending over and all sorts of poses. He was certain it wasn’t noticeable. Even when he knew it was there he couldn’t see it. He ran his hand over it and found that he liked feeling it there. It felt sexy… like a dirty little secret that only he knew about.

Sam felt himself start to chub up an immediately feared pain. The fear itself was enough to wilt his manhood back down before anything got too tight.

Sam looked around his room and then back at his reflection in the mirror. He spoke out loud to his reflection, “Enough of this shit. It’s time to get my ass back to class.”

With that, he checked the time, grabbed his books and headed off to his next class. He didn’t have his work finished that was due but it was better to show up empty handed than not show up at all.

 

 

 

Dean and Cas flung their bags back into the trunk and moved to the front seat to sit down. Dean let out a long whistle. “Damn baby, you are dirty!” he said of his Impala when he slung himself into the driver’s seat. “You got us a route?” he asked Cas

“Just a sec,” said Cas, fumbling with his phone as Dean pulled back out onto the highway. “Dean?”

“Hmm?”

“Did we decide whether or not to stop at the Hoover Dam?”

“Does it make a difference on which way we go?” he asked.

“Umm… It’s the difference between going North or South” said Cas sardonically. “So yeah.”

“Okay. I don’t care. You pick.”

“Give me a coin.” Said Cas.

Dean chuckled, “Really Cas?”

“Really.”

Dean reached in the ashtray and handed Cas a penny.

“Call it.” said Cas.

“Tails.” said Dean confidently.

“Tails it is,” said Cas, then he looked up with a embarrassed grin and said, “Ok, now we have to do that again and I have to assign tails to something.”

“You got it now?” Dean asked him, laughing.

“Yes.” He said pitching the penny, “Call it.”

“Tails” said Dean again.

Cas checked his phone.

“Well don’t keep a man in suspense…” Dean wheedled.

“When 190 ends we’re gonna jog South on 127 for a few miles and then pick up State Line Road heading East.”

“The Dam Cas,” Dean laughed, “I meant are we seeing the Dam.”

“Well, it’s on the route. If we feel like seeing it when we pass it then we can stop. If not, we can just drive right by it… or over it? Whatever.”

“Perfect. Got any idea how long til we have scenery that’s not desert?”

“I wouldn’t hold your breath,” laughed Cas.

Just then Dean’s phone buzzed. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the display. “Holy shit, Cas!”

“What?”

“It’s Charlie!”

“Who?”

“Charlie Bradbury... hand holder of Dorothy Holmes!”

Cas leaned forward and turned off the radio. Dean answered the call.

“Hello?”

“Dean?”

“Yeah, is this Charlie?”

“Holy Dipshits Batman!” she crowed at him.

“What?”

“We’re here… and it’s a mind-freaking nightmare! They keep telling me you don’t work here anymore! What the frack is happening?”

“Um that’s a long story…” Dean said, not sure how to respond.

“Well start talkin’ Winchester, cause none of these ass-hats can tell me anything that makes any sense.”

“Ok… short version? I’ve been fired.”

“How can that be?”

“I’ve been double crossed by my brother.”

“Wow… that’s so ‘Game of Thrones’ Winchester”

“Don’t I know it! So, let me guess, they just sent some regular driver to pick you guys up and now there’s a mess.”

“Yes. Who do you recommend I speak to in order to get this sorted out? Dottie’s a mess and I need to get her taken care of.”

“Dottie?” _Oh yeah… nickname for Dorothy -_ he thought. “Um, Charlie, you’re probably going to want to speak with either Norman Spencer or Brad Stevens. I’m sorry I can’t be more help.”

“Dean, can you come down here?”

“I would if I could. But I’m pretty sure my keycard doesn’t work anymore. Plus I’m in the middle of Death Valley right now.”

“I’m gonna call you later and we’re gonna talk about all this. I just need to get Dorothy taken care of first.”

“Roger that” said Dean as she ended the call.

Cas looked at Dean, “Place is going to shit without you, isn’t it?”

“Yep. I hope they fuckin call Sam to come in and deal with it too.”

The car got quiet for a minute but Dean snapped himself out of it. He turned on the radio and spun the dial until he found a song he could sing along to – Midnight Rider by the Allman Brothers.

 

 

 

When Sam finished with his classes for the day, he headed back to his place. The cage on his cock and balls kept his mind from forgetting about his dick. It was so strange.

Usually, despite his strong sexual urges, he’d forget about his dick for chunks of time. Half of class would pass where his mind didn’t consider his dick once. But that wasn’t the case now. Every minute of every hour of the day… with every shift of his body he was keenly aware of his dick and its confinement. It was a strange combination of sexy and disturbing.

As he approached the door to this apartment, he saw a woman sitting on the floor of the hall, leaning against the doorframe, clearly waiting for him. She was blonde. Who was it? Just as he began to wonder, the face turned toward him, hearing Sam approach. _Fuck, fuck, shit!_

“Mom, what are you doing here?”

“I think you know why I’m here Sam.”

“Well, come in” he said to her, opening the door and saying a silent prayer of thanks that he’d cleaned up his apartment and that he actually had books under his arm and not a chick in his bed when she’d showed up.

She walked in and set her purse down on his table as she moved past it to the living room and settled on his couch.

He followed her, hyper aware of the cage on his dick, and sat down in the chair across from her.

“Sam, I have things to say to you.”

“I know mom,” he said, ducking his head, unable to meet her eye.

“Look at me son.”

He forced his eyes to meet hers. Immediately they were leaking.

“Don’t you dare cry,” she told him.

He nodded and brushed tears away with the back of his hand.

“I know you’ve been angry at your brother. I don’t know why. You can tell me if you want. But if you choose not to, then you must understand that I have no point of reference regarding why you’ve chosen to assist the board in removing your brother from the company that your father left to BOTH OF YOU!”

She hadn’t meant to raise her voice to him and had to work hard to de-escalate her tone before continuing. “The way you’ve behaved since your brother was let go – it indicates you feel guilty about it. Do you?”

“Yes,” he said, voice cracking and chin working hard to keep his face from breaking apart.

“What can you tell me to help me understand your actions?”

“Nothing. There’s nothing.”

Sam briefly considered telling her the entire truth. But he dismissed the thought quickly. He didn’t want to admit how petty he had really been. It was far better to have his mother not understand his anger then to explain his feelings to her and have her see how pathetic he really was, how little it had taken for him to abandon Dean entirely.

She looked at him. Her face was hard with anger. He wanted to cry and let her comfort him, but that wasn’t an option now. She’d told him so.

“Well,” she said as she stood up, “If you truly have nothing to say, then I guess I’ve wasted a trip over here.” And with that, she walked past him to the door, grabbing her bag as she went.

“Mom?”

She stopped and looked back at him, she begged him with her eyes to talk to her.

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry.” He said pitifully.

“Me too, Sam.” She said quietly.

He still couldn’t bring himself to look at her. But after a few tense moments – he heard the door close. She’d gone.

 

 

Dean and Cas had spent the last two days covering the ground from Death Valley to The Grand Canyon National Park.

When Charlie had called Dean back, Cas had been catching a nap anyway. So Dean told her the long version of everything. She told Dean that they’d pulled their business from Winchester Law because of Deans firing and were going to retain a different attorney. With the important issues out of the way, he took a few minutes to tell Charlie about their road-tripping adventures. When his service began to cut out again, they’d ended their call, promising to stay in touch.

The trip toward Las Vegas took longer than expected. Then they had delays in the city as well. The initial intention had been to simply bypass the city and never even exit the expressway. Unfortunately, there had been some kind of traffic problem that had reduced the expressway to a parking lot for several hours.

They ended up throwing in the towel and inching slowly down the exit ramp at the junction of 564 & 95\. It took almost 30 minutes just to get down the ramp. Both men were tired and crabby by the time they were merging into regular traffic. The first hotel they came upon was the Fiesta Henderson Hotel and Casino. They pulled Deans dirty baby into a space and bought the cheapest room Cas had ever stayed in. $49. As they shuffled to the elevator carrying their duffels, Cas looked at Dean and said, “Clean sheets?”

“I wouldn’t bet on it.” Dean chuckled.

As they tossed their bags down on the floor of the room, Dean tossed the bedspread to the floor and flopped down. “Tropicana still lookin’ like a dump to ya Cas?”

“You’re never going to let me forget that I said that are you Dean?”

“Nope.” He smiled at Cas who had flopped down on the other bed, “You might not want to lay on the bedspread,” Dean grinned at Cas.

“Why?”

“Cause places like this only wash the sheets, not the spreads.”

“Damn,” cursed Cas, flopping over to strip the comforter to the floor. “Even this shitty bed feels good after four hours in gridlock,” said Cas, looking over at Dean on the other bed.

The men had opted for sleep that night, forgoing the shitty casino and entertainment for solitude and the promise of early start the next day. Before getting back on the interstate, Dean navigated baby over to a gas station with a car wash. “I feel much better now,” he’d said as he surged up the on ramp with the Impala’s black finish once again gleaming in the sun.

They’d traveled South first. They chose not to tour the Hoover Dam after all, but even just driving over it was impressive. By early afternoon they were heading East and then around supper time they turned North, finally near their destination.

Cas had his phone out in his lap. “I think we should stop at the next hotel. It’s the last one outside the park and the ones in the park may be fully booked.”

Dean nodded. A few minutes later, they were both chuckling as the door to their room swung open. “What a dump” they said in unison.

“We’re not fuckin in that bed,” said Dean, “It won’t hold up”

“Maybe I’ll suck you off in the shower,” said Cas as he swung open the bathroom door and peered inside, “Never mind,” he said laughing at the atrocious shower.

Dean peaked in over his shoulder and chuckled, “we’d have better accommodations at a camp ground!”

“Well, it’s all part of the experience, right?” Smiled Cas.

“Yeah,” said Dean, pulling his man in by the belt loops.

Cas felt Deans lips press to his neck and tipped his head back to enjoy it. Dean’s hands moved to Cas’ shoulders and turned him to face the wall while he continued to kiss the man’s neck from behind.

Cas hummed in pleasure as Deans hands slid down his sides and pulled his hips back enough to work his hands around to Cas’ zipper. He tugged it, pulling down and then Cas felt Deans thick fingers curl into his waistband and pull down his pants and briefs together in one quick motion.

“Fuck yeah,” whispered Cas into the wall as Dean cupped his package and rolled it in his hand.

“How’s that?” Dean husked in Cas’ ear as he began to jack him off.

“It’s good Dean,” he said. Cas pressed his palms to the wall and pushed himself away from it. He kicked his shoes and pants off, then braced his arms against the wall again and spread his legs like someone getting arrested. He could hear Dean pulling down his own zipper and getting out of his pants behind him and took a moment to pull his t-shirt off over his head while he waited.

Dean looked at Cas. The man was completely naked, spread wide and facing the wall with his backside bared for Dean in a lurid invitation to fuck. “Damn Cas,” he smirked, “I don’t know where to start”

“Yes you do, Dean. You know what I need.”

Dean slid up behind him and pulled his shirt off while his cock rubbed up against Cas’ backside. “Yeah, Cas. I know what you need. You need my cock in you. Can’t come without it can ya?”

“Touch me Dean, I need it.” Said Cas firmly.

Dean put his hands out and cupped Cas’ ass. There were still faint pink marks fading from days ago when Dean had belted Cas over the hood. Dean squeezed handfuls of Cas’ perfect ass cheeks and leaned forward to lick and nibble at the back of Cas’ neck while he pressed his solid wood into the hot and sticky space between ass cheeks.

Cas thrust backwards into Dean, not leaving anything to Deans imagination. He wanted to be fucked and he used his body to show it.

Dean was spellbound watching the muscles in Cas back flex as he pushed his ass backwards in a slow and sensuous rhythm. Cas moved like a dancer (or a porn star) with a sexy rolling wave of movement and with each press into Dean, he felt the urge grow stronger, to push into Cas, to feel the man’s tight heat clutching around him, milking pleasure from him.

Dean could not control his hips as they responded to Cas’ sensual movements the way a snake responds to the charmer… completely transfixed with the swaying movements.

“Come on Dean,” said Cas in his low and rumbling voice, “I’m not going beg you tonight. You know you want to fuck me. Come on and do it!” he commanded.

Dean immediately responded. He shook the duffle violently searching for lube and when he found it, he didn’t put it on his fingers. He didn’t prep. He just slicked up his dick and started to push in.

When he felt the head of his cock pass the second ring of Cas’ tight entrance, he waited. But Cas didn’t. The man thrust himself backwards and impaled himself on Dean’s cock. Both men cried out in unison. Cas could feel the burn and stretch of being improperly prepped and gritted his teeth against the pain. Still he wanted more. “Do it!” he barked at Dean, “Fuck me!”

Dean snapped his hips forward hard and was met with such resistance that even he cried out. “Ho-ly Fuck!” Dean had to work to hold back. He didn’t want to blow his load on the second pump but “god-DAMN!” he cried out as he pushed in again.

“Oh yeah Dean,” said Cas, low and dirty, “just what I need.” Cas was panting now, not with exertion but with excitement. He was feeling so filthy and raw and when Dean set a rhythm he heard the delicious slapping of skin on skin and heard Dean practically growling in his ear. He pushed his palms up higher on the wall and let Dean’s thrusts slam him forward against it. “Uh,” was forced out of his mouth on each thrust and it was growing louder. His back was bowing under the strain and his knees were getting weak.

Dean’s arms wrapped around Cas’ waist and hugged tightly, his chin pressed to the man’s shoulder and he grunted with each thrust he laid into his man. Dean was pushing forward into Cas like a freight train - with the force of power and momentum. Their naked bodies were pressing together tighter and tighter, sweat glistening along their arms and flanks and backs as their thrusts became faster and shorter. There was less and less space between Deans front and Cas’ back until they were moving as one.

“My cock, Dean, grab my cock!” shouted Cas. As soon as Dean complied, it was over for Cas. He came in thick ropes. Hard. It felt like he hadn’t come in years. His breathing was heavy and labored as he forced his shaky arms and legs to support him just a little bit longer so Dean could come too.

When he did, Dean was practically hanging on to Cas to stay up right. The sheer force of his orgasm had swept him forward and turned his knees to Jello.

The second it was over, they staggered to the edge of the bed and flopped down together, breathing like they’d just run a marathon. It took a long time to calm down.

When their breathing was evened out, they flopped upward to get heads on pillows. “I’ll feel that in the morning,” muttered Cas as he turned over on his side.

“Cas, man, that was some wild fuckin!” said Dean as he pulled his limp body closer to his man.

Cas had a small, satisfied smile on his lips when he felt Dean slide an arm around his waist and search out his hand. Cas twined their fingers together and tipped his head back, searching to put his lips to Deans. Dean lifted his head just enough to meet his man in the middle.

“Good night, Dean.”

“Nite Cas.”


	13. It's Time to Go Home

Cas woke lazily, turning to seek out Dean in the tiny and uncomfortable bed. Finding himself alone in it, he sat up and looked around. Dean was at the wobbly table with his laptop out.

Sensing Cas, Dean turned to him, “Mornin’ Sunshine”

Cas couldn’t resist that smile, “Good morning Dean.”

“You hungry?”

“Yes. And sore.” He grinned, “If I wanted to still feel you in the morning… why the hell did I pick a night when we’d be hiking the next day?”

Dean chuckled and turned back to the laptop, “We’re really here Cas. We’re so close. The park is like, right over there!” he said gesturing beyond the wall that boasted an obsolete television on a rickety cabinet.

“Well, I guess I’ll get moving then,” said Cas with a broad smile as he hopped out of bed.

“There’s a little village in the park. It has everything we need. Has like look-out points and souvenir shops and donkey rides into the canyon… but I think we should motor through there and see if we can get set up in a better hotel before we actually start doin’ stuff.”

“Sounds good,” said Cas who was standing in the bathroom and eyeing the shower. “I feel like I should wear flip flops in there so I don’t catch anything.” He said gesturing toward the nasty shower.

Dean chuckled, “If I can do it then you can do it.”

“I’m gonna say that to you tonight when I’m fucking you raw” snarked Cas from the bathroom as he turned on the water.

They didn’t take long to get going and when the Impala roared to life, they rolled their windows down to enjoy the mild weather as they covered the last of the ground between them and the South Rim of the Grand Canyon.

Dean gave Cas a look when they passed a quaint little town with several decent hotels. “What?” sassed Cas, “this didn’t show up my phone!”

Both men laughed out loud as they rolled past the much nicer lodgings they could’ve had last night. Soon enough they were at the gate to enter the park. They paid the nominal fee and thanked the ranger for the brochures as they pulled forward.

Dean explained to Cas which things had seemed worthy of their attention when he’d been on the computer that morning. As they navigated the little village that hugged the rim of the Canyon, they stopped first at Deans preferred residence; The El Tovar Hotel. They pulled up out front and left the car curbside to walk up the front steps. They couldn’t see much but the roof and railing until they stepped in out of the sunshine. Then the enormous front porch swallowed them up in cool shadow. The natural scent of wood enveloped them and as they looked around at the smattering of rocking chairs Cas said a secret prayer to the vacation gods that this place would have a room available.

When they actually moved through the entrance Cas took in the immense room. The place was far bigger in scale then the outside would have you believe. The ceiling was made with huge wooden rafters and beams. Great chandeliers hung from it, casting the entire place in a very homey glow. It looked like they’d stepped back in time to the days of the California Gold Rush. The place was obviously rich in history and outfitted with every amenity.

“You’re in luck, gentlemen! Since it’s the off season we have several rooms available. Would you prefer a single, a double or a suite?”

Dean threw Cas a quick glance and said, “The best suite you have available,” then he met Cas’ eye with a soft smile.

“How many nights will you be staying with us?”

“Umm…” Dean fumbled, looking to Cas for help, “two?” he tried tentatively. Then, seeing Cas nod he said it more firmly, “yes, two.” as he slid his card across the thick wooden counter to her.

“That’ll be $1178.50 aside from any additional charges you accrue during your stay. We’ll keep the card on file for you,” she smiled. Then, she asked for the card back, “I apologize sir, the card didn’t accept the charge. I’ll try it again for you.”

Dean paused to think for a minute about money. He realized belatedly that he’d received his last paycheck deposit from Winchester Law last week. So given that his card was declining, clearly that money was gone now. He waited while she tried again but his card wouldn’t hold the charge. He pulled his wallet back out and gave her his actual credit card rather than the debit card which he normally spent with. She passed him the receipt and he signed, tossing a glance in Cas’ direction.

The man was paying no attention. He was facing away, taking in the surroundings.  When Dean had their keycards in hand and a copy of the paperwork, he moved to Cas’ side and gestured toward the stairs. They climbed them and upon reaching the top they looked out from the balcony at the impressive lodge.

“It’s really something, Dean.” said Cas quietly, “nice choice.” Then he hefted his bag on his shoulder and moved down the corridor toward their room. It was perfect. Spacious. Comfortable. The bed was huge and inviting, the décor was subtle and blended flawlessly with the ‘wild west’ look of the place. There was a nice TV, mini bar… all the comforts they could hope for.

Cas spread out on the bed like a starfish with a smile on his face. Dean sat down at the heavy wooden table. He pulled out a joint, lit it and passed it to Cass. Then he pulled out the laptop and logged into his online banking to check his account. Sure enough – there was only $278 in his account. _Oh yeah_ – he thought. _This is why we all go to work every day._ The humorous thought brought a chuckle to the back of his throat.

“What?” asked Cas from the bed.

“Nothing. I’m out of money in my checking account, funny that I hadn’t thought to check on that when my paychecks stopped coming. Did I think that last check was gonna just last forever?” As he was talking he clicked on his savings account page and transferred $10,000 over to his checking. He wanted to insure that this was last time he’d have to think about money until they got home. It was kind of sad in a way, though. That transfer was almost a third of his balance. It made him feel depleted to have to use it. He knew there was no way he’d spend that much on vacation but he also knew that he’d need more to tide him over until he started getting paychecks from whatever new job he got.

To cheer himself, he navigated away from the bank website and over to the bookmarks he’d saved this morning for possible tours they could take.

“Do you have a preference on what we do first?” he asked Cas.

“Well, I’d like to just look over the edge I guess... after that I don’t care.”

“Okay. Well there’s a trip I’d like to sign up for. It leaves at six am, but it includes a little bit of all the things we wanted to do. Should I go ahead and sign us up to that tomorrow?”

“Sure, what does it include?”

“Airplane ride to tour the canyon, a jeep ride through Antelope Canyon, some mild hiking and then a 15 mile rafting trip down the river.”

“That sounds amazing Dean. Let’s do that. Do you need my card?”

“No, but thanks. I moved money from my savings.”

When he’d finished booking their trip for tomorrow, Dean navigated over to a news site. They hadn’t followed through on their promises to Anna that they’d watch the news. Dean wanted to get an update on the happenings back home regarding Baxter/Milton.

What he found was surprising. More cases had been filed in connection with the original three suits. Several were filed by ex-employees asserting coercion and harassment. There were some filings that were just single cases of medical facilities citing fraud and misrepresentation. There were no criminal charges yet but there were several articles and blogs that alluded to the possibility of it. Dean didn’t mention any of it to Cas, not wanting to bog him down in reality when he was so excited at them having finally reached their actual destination.

He filed away the details in his mind so that he could tell Cas about it when the timing was better. Perhaps when they were sitting down to dinner or settling in to bed for the night and Cas would have time to go online himself if he wanted or call Anna to ask details.

Dean snapped the lid shut on the laptop and moved to the bed. He took Cas’ hand and tugged lightly, trying to get the man to stand up. “Do you need a three count?” he asked teasingly.

“Not if you’re taking me to go look over the edge,” Cas grinned at him.

They headed down the stairs and exited the cool air of the hotel. They stepped into the sunlight and headed for the car. It wasn’t far to drive, the Visitors Center was in the same area of the village. The building was long and contained a lot of interesting things to look at. But Cas walked straight through to the back side of it and out onto the observation deck.

He had seen little peaks of the canyon as they’d driven within the park, just a glimpse here and there. But this unobstructed view was incredible. The sheer size and scope of the canyon was indescribable and the pictures he’d been seeing all his life hadn’t done it justice. He was mesmerized. He felt Dean at his elbow, wondering with him for several minutes before he stepped away.

At some point, Cas became aware that Dean had started taking pictures. He turned to see his man climbing up on a large boulder that was clearly for people to sit or stand on for pictures. Dean was using the higher vantage to get pictures of the sprawling canyon without the railing in them.

Seeing Cas looking, Dean signaled for him to climb up there and join him. Once he was perched next to Dean, Cas found the view to be even better. Dean used his hand to guide them in turning their backs to the Canyon and shooting several ‘selfies’ of them with the incredible view in the background.

When he’d finished, he encouraged Cas to sit down on the rock and took several pictures of him there. By unspoken agreement, they traded places and Cas took some of Dean. There were others waiting to use the rock, so they moved to slide off it.

A pretty young teenage girl turned to them and offered to take one of them together before they got down. They both smiled in appreciation and reached down, each offering her a hand. She put one of her hands in each of theirs and put one leg up on the rock at waist level, making it easy for them to pull her up.  

They gave her a moment to enjoy the view and waive at her friends before handing over their cameras to her. She snapped several of with their arms around each other’s shoulders. To Cas’ surprise, Dean turned and planted a warm kiss on the scruff of his cheek, just as their new friend snapped a picture and Cas could feel his face fill with affection as it happened.

When she handed their cameras back, they offered to do the same for her and helped both of her friends up on the rock. There wasn’t much room to stand with all of them up there, so Cas eased himself down and left Dean to snap pictures of them.

From below, and out of their view, Cas snapped pictures of them all. The pictures were cool because they were shot from below, with the subjects towering over him and the clear blue sky in the background.

When Dean saw what Cas was doing he dropped to one knee and gave Cas a masculine pose. He chuckled while taking the picture and before they all climbed down, Dean encouraged the girls to do the same. He handed Cas their cameras and he was then able to get a nice group shot of the three of them with their arms around each other while posing on one knee as Dean had.

Once they were all back on level ground, they stepped aside to let the next group through. The girl’s squealed with delight at the photos the boys had taken of them, chattering amongst themselves as they wandered away.

Leading off from the observation deck were several trails and Cas was itching to explore them. “What do you think about a short hike?”

“Sounds great Cas,” Dean said falling in step with him. They walked the length of the observation deck before heading out on the easy trail that wound around the base of it. As they moved lower Cas turned to look back above them at the tourists leaning over the rail and taking pictures where they’d just been.

They enjoyed the rocky terrain, chatting about this and that. Dean came to a stop and looked at Cas.

“Look.” Said Dean gesturing down the hill.

Cas swung his head around to follow Deans pointing finger.

“Cas, is it really a hike if there’s stairs?” he laughed.

“I think it’s neat,” said Cas as they started down them, “look how they’re cut right out of the rock”

“Well, how many do you want to go back up?” said Dean grinning.

The man had a point. The steps went on for a long time. It would suck coming back up them. “How bout we head back and find some food?” suggested Cas.

Dean nodded and clapped Cas on the shoulder as he passed by him. They climbed back up by a different route then they’d gone down and emerged back at the observation deck.

Cas glanced at his phone. It was just after 3. They headed back to the car and decided to have a nice meal and then head back to the hotel. Tomorrow would take a lot out of them and they had to be up early to get started. A big meal and a good night’s sleep sounded great.

When they arrived back at their hotel they stopped at the desk and made reservations to eat dinner in the restaurant. Then they headed upstairs to their room and spent some time soaking in the huge whirlpool tub before heading down to dinner. It was delicious, by far the best meal that Cas had eaten on their trip so far. “You know,” said Cas, finishing his last few bites and leaning back,” this place is actually known for their breakfast. Maybe we should make a reservation to have it on the morning we’re checking out.”

“Good idea Cas. After tomorrow we’ll probably just want to sleep late so try not to book it too early.”

“Sure,” said Cas absentmindedly. “Anything wrong?” asked Dean.

“No. Definitely not. Just thinking we should try to catch the news tonight. It’s been days.”

Dean smiled and nodded. “You want to stay for a few drinks, or head up now?”

Cas looked at the time on his phone, “I know it’s early but let’s go up now.”

Dean finished the last of his drink and when the waiter stopped back, he ordered desserts to be sent up to their room.

They stripped down and tucked into their fresh bed as soon as they go to the room. Cas flicked channels on the large flat screen, seeking news. Dean puffed up his pillows and leaned back to look through the brochures they’d managed to collect so far. He watched Cas watch the news and when there was only one story, Dean felt bad. There was so much more Cas needed to know, but he didn’t want to be the one to tell him.

Instead he got up and brought Cas the laptop, encouraging him to look for more news. Then he settled down in bed, comfortable and just resting. His eyes lingered on Cas’ strong profile until they grew heavy.

The knock on their door startled him from sleep. Cas was still buried in the laptop so Dean got up to answer the door. It was the deserts he’d ordered.

He carried the plates to the bed and they took turns taking bites from each other’s plates trying to decide which was best. It was a tough call.

“You finding much online?” Dean ventured.

“Tons. There’s a lot of new suits being filed. Some are even ex-employees. There’s mention of possible criminal charges too. It’s getting messy.”

“You gonna call Anna and check in?”

“Yeah, probably better,” he said with a sigh.

Dean headed to the bathroom under the cover of brushing his teeth. But he took his time in there – trying to give Cas some privacy while he called his sister. When he came back out, Cas was smiling as he talked to her. _Everything must be ok_ he thought. That made it easier to cuddle up again and let himself fall asleep while Cas spoke quietly with Anna next to him.

 

Their day started early with the alarm going off at 4:30. They hit snooze til almost five and then got dressed. They were yawning and guzzling coffee as they drove to the airport, which took longer than they expected. When they arrived they got checked in and bought all the suggested supplies. They both now had a ‘dry bag’ slung over their shoulder and more appropriate footwear. (And let’s not forget the free t-shirt emblazoned with the name of their tour company.)

The men waited until called and then settled into their seats on the plane. The windows were much larger than normal to allow for easy viewing of the canyon as they circled lazily above it to see it from all different angles. Their flight followed the path of the Canyon for quite a while before they landed again at another small airport near Antelope Canyon.

Here they boarded topless jeeps which made for an excellent ride as they wove through the upper levels of the Canyon. The guide was knowledgeable and funny and the early morning sun played off the sharp ripples of the steep canyon walls trapping beautiful orange light and warmth with them as they bounced along. Dean was smiling ear to ear the entire time.

They broke for lunch as they came out of the canyon. Tables with sandwiches, sides and dessert bars were set up, used and then taken down with surprising efficiency. They were hiking now. Every one’s bags were stowed in the jeeps that waited below as they followed their guide over a winding path that led past some historically significant carvings on the cliff faces. That was where they first got wet.

The river was mild here but since they’d started to sweat while hiking, a ‘cool-down’ was welcome. There were only about a half dozen in their group and they’d been getting to know every ones name as the day progressed.

There was a very vanilla couple along… Dean had jokingly been referring to them as Ken and Barbie. When Dean and Cas had pulled off their t-shirts and waded into the cool water, Ken and Barbie followed. Their names, it turned out were actually Dave and Donna. They’d been married for two years and this was the first vacation they’d taken since their honeymoon.

They chattered leisurely as they all floated around in the cool, clear water. Cas would’ve pegged them for the ‘honeymoon at Niagra Falls’ type. But as it turned out, they were quite adventuresome. They’d taken their honeymoon in Honduras and both swore it was the most fun they’d ever had.

Dave had a sharp and dirty sense of humor, Cas found, and the more time they spent together – the more Cas found himself enjoying their company and he could tell Dean was feeling the same.

They’d told enthralling stories about Honduras. The local people being so ‘colorful’ and ‘warm’. But what had Cas spellbound was their stories about the monkeys. Apparently one of the attractions they’d been to was like a petting zoo ‘central America style’ where there had been monkeys that would jump onto your shoulders for treats. It sounded amazing.

Dave told them that their resort was a string of cabins along the edge of the jungle and at about 4am each morning a wave of monkeys would run over the roof. The way he described it was riveting. Dean and Cas almost didn’t want to get in the jeep when it was time to move on – only wanting to stay floating in cool water and hear more stories.

They made sure that when people were being divided into rafts for the white water part of the trip… they got to be with Dave and Donna. They even took some pictures with them, both at rivers edge in their trunks and fully outfitted in their rafts with oars in hand.

They settled in quietly to focus on the training being provided and then sealed up their dry bags, tied them down and brought out the waterproof cameras as they pushed off the edge and into the Colorado River.

The rafting had been a work out to say the least. Even in slow water the paddling was crucial to keeping the boat where it needed to be. But when you added in rocks and frothing white water – they were survival.

Each series of rapids they passed broke a new wave of adrenaline for them. Then, they’d rest and enjoy the scenery in between. The high walls of the canyon around them kept Cas feeling like a rubber duck in the bottom of a bath tub.

He enjoyed the company of his new friends and the smile of satisfaction that Dean didn’t bother trying to hide. Then, soon, he’d hear it again. The roaring sound of water over rocks ahead. They’d get into position and his pulse would race as they fought to keep the raft pointed in the right direction and distribute their weight correctly. Water would surge into the boat, soaking them at times but they always made it – cheering and high-fiving and fist bumping each other and their guides.

They’d had another meal at a calm spot on the river, chatting lazily and resting as they watched the clouds move stealthily across the sliver of sky that they could see between cliff faces.

Soon after, they were back in the rafts and surging over rapids, victorious against nature again. Cas later found out that the levels of rapids are numbered. They’d only done one’s and two’s today. _What the fuck would a ‘five’ feel like?_ He wondered.

It was late when they finally stepped back into their hotel room. Cas set an alarm for 9am so they could make it to their breakfast reservation downstairs. They fell asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillow and didn’t wake again until the alarm went off.

They had fun at breakfast, talking about their favorite parts of the trip as Dean snuck bite after bite of Cas’ polenta pancakes with prickly pear sauce. When the subject of Dave and Donna came up, Dean said he’d had a dream about monkeys last night. Cas chuckled and admitted to being equally intrigued by the stories they’d been told.

“Let’s do it” said Dean, dropping his fork to his plate, “let’s go to Honduras!”

Cas took advantage of Deans distraction to reach in and swipe a bite of his Pumpkin Belgian Waffle. “What do you mean?” he said with his mouth full.

“I mean let’s go to Honduras!” he laughed, “They said the name of the place was Roatan. Let’s fucking google it, buy a ticket and go!” the man’s excitement was palpable.

Cas stopped chewing. “You’re serious.”

“Hell yeah man! Let’s do it!”

“Okay.” Said Cas, a smile spreading across his face. Let’s go pet some monkeys!”

They headed back up to their room and pulled out the laptop. Dean was fast and furiously typing and clicking. Cas literally sat back and just watched his man work.

“I got us a flight tomorrow.”

“From where?”

“Phoenix.”

“Okay,” said Cas pulling out his phone and bringing up a map. He began mapping a route to Phoenix and finding a suitable hotel for the night.

A few minutes later Dean confirmed he’d booked them at an area hotel and set up their transfers from the airport to the resort.

“Damn Dean.” smiled Cas, “No wonder Charlie misses you.”

Dean preened at Cas’ praise and began to put away their things. They were a bit late checking out, but no one hassled them about it.

By the time they had their bags in the car and the key in the ignition, Cas already had their route to Phoenix mapped out. The prospect of going to Honduras was exciting, but even despite that, it felt good to be back in the car. The radio was silent but Cas couldn’t help himself. He began singing acapella… ‘On the Road Again’ by Willie Nelson. To his surprise, Dean joined right in. They were having a blast.

 

 

 

Sam was morose for most of the evening, but around 10:00 he got a message from Ruby asking what time he had to be up in the morning.

He texted her back that his alarm would go off at 7:00.

She responded asking if he’d like her to be there when he woke to take care of his equipment.

He responded with a dirty and flirty message asking her to just come and spend the night. She said she couldn’t because she’d be up late studying for a test she had in the morning, so Sam ended up accepting her invitation to come and take care of him in the morning. Then, as an afterthought, he wished her good luck on the test.

His hand traveled to his dick by force of habit… simply from talking to a girl, he guessed. When his fingers bumped into the plastic device he found it arousing. The tingles of sexual excitement gathered in his dick and he began to feel it spring to life. He realized his mistake too late and found himself swelling quickly in the small space allocated to his penis. He pulled his hand away quickly and breathed deeply while forcing his mind to try and divide 360 by 14.

Fortunately, it worked and his dick went flaccid again. Damn. This was going to be tough. He wasn’t just barred from cheating. He was barred from jerking. No wonder Ruby had offered to come over in the morning. She must know that he’d wake with a swollen cock and be in pain.

Sam spent a few minutes thinking about how it felt to have someone else thinking of his dick and found himself liking it. But even that line of thinking proved to be dangerous territory. He wound up doing homework (which he was very far behind on) until he was tired enough to go to sleep. He set his alarm and fell heavily into bed, naked as a jay-bird with one exception.

 

 

 

When Dean and Cas arrived in Pheonix they had a few hours to kill. They had booked themselves in a swanky place with an amazing pool deck so Cas said he was going to go read by the pool for a while. Dean watched him put on the red trunks and aviator sunglasses, grabbing his book as he left the room. Then he pulled out his laptop and phone. He put all the new photos in a folder and sent them to Mary and then he dialed her number.

They spent over an hour chatting about things and going through the pictures Dean had sent her together. He would provide little details about the events surrounding each picture as if they were sitting on his couch together looking at his vacation pictures. It was nice. He updated her on the situation with Baxter/Milton and Mary confirmed she’d been seeing and hearing about it. Dean reassured her that Cas seemed to be doing Ok.

In a moment of silence, he almost asked her about Sam. Then he’d found the strength to hold his tongue. Instead he told her that he and Cas had thrown together a flight to Honduras and how excited he was to get into the jungle and see monkeys.

Before saying good-bye he made sure to ask her how her French cooking class was going. She said that it would be better if she could stop burning sauces to the bottom of pans.

Once they’d disconnected, Dean threw on his trunks and sunglasses and headed down to the pool to join Cas. He spotted his man right away, lounging in a chaise and looking sexy as hell. The sweat glistened off of him in the late afternoon sun. It made Dean want to lick him. He stood next to Cas for a moment before the man recognized he was there. “Get wet with me?”

Cas nodded and put down his book. They slid into the pool with their shades still on to block the glare of the hot Phoenix sun and floated around while they chatted. Dean told him all the things he’d bookmarked as possible attractions to go to in Honduras. He explained that Roatan was actually an island but it was close enough to the mainland that they could ferry back and forth. Dean suggested they spend two days on the island and then two days on the mainland and Cas agreed.

When they started getting hungry they headed up to the room to change and go find someplace to eat dinner and have a few drinks. It was during dinner that Charlie called again. She’d been seeing the news and had finally put two and two together that Deans Cas… was Castiel Milton that she’d seen mentioned on TV. 

“You’ve heard them mention him by name?”

“Yeah, why?”

“No reason, I guess, I just haven’t heard him mentioned yet. I was starting to hope he wouldn’t be. They have plenty of bigger fish to fry than him. What did they say about him?”

“Just that he’d been unreachable for comment.”

“Oh. Well, I don’t think anyone has called him. Maybe on his house phone or work phone, but no one has called his cell phone for a comment.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it” she told him.

“How’s Dorothy holding up? Did you guys find a new attorney yet?”

“Yes, she’s retained the firm I initially recommended.”

“Sorry you guys wasted your time and money with Winchester Law.”

“No worries, Dean. If you were still there… we’d still be there.”

“Thanks, Charlie.”

“Peace-out!” she said as she ended the call.

 

 

 

The following morning, when the sun was rising, Cas and Dean were boarding their plane for Honduras. And Sam was laying in his bed, panting. He’d been woken by a hard-on and it felt like his dick was in a vice-grip. The soft flesh was puffing out of every opening and the uncomfortable tightness grew unbearable quickly.

He was willing himself to think of old ladies with liver spots and purple hair to try and get his dick to deflate but it wasn’t working. When he heard Ruby knock he staggered naked to the door and yanked her inside.

To her credit, she didn’t laugh at him. She just took her necklace off and slid the key into the lock, allowing the cage to separate from its anchor. She gently coaxed it off of him and he relaxed into a kitchen chair in relief.

“Thanks for not laughing at me” he smiled sheepishly to her, “wearing that was quite an experience.”

Now that his senses were returning, he looked around, trying to see his place the way she saw it. Her counters were laminate. His were granite. She didn’t even have a kitchenette, his boasted stainless steel appliances. The cleanliness and quiet revealed a lack of roommates that he knew she envied.

 “Sam,” she said softly, leaning into him, “You deserve a reward for your faithfulness to me last night.”

His eyes met hers at the word ‘reward’.

“And,” she breathed seductively, “You deserve a release before we put your cage back on.”

“What do you have in mind, Ruby?”

She moved down the hall. He thought she was headed for his bedroom, but she turned into the bathroom instead. “You may take a shower Sam.”

He looked from her to the shower and back again.

“The only rule is going to be that you must remain in the shower stall the entire time. You do not have permission to step out.” She told him firmly. Then she tipped her head to indicate he should get in. She perched on his bathroom counter, fully clothed and watched his naked form step into the shower, pull the glass door shut and turn on the water. He glanced back at her. Was she texting?

No. She was turning on music. As he watched, she licked her lips. Then, with her eyes locked firmly on his, she began to unbutton her shirt. As her shirt fell open and slid from her shoulders, he reached his open palm out to touch his cock. It felt like the first time in a year. He felt it begin to fill as his eyes raked over the skimpy black bra she had on.

She ran her fingers over her breasts in a teasing manner as she slid provocatively from the counter and turned her back on him.

He closed his fist around his half hard cock and pulled. It felt great, liberating. He put one foot up on the edge of the tub basin and cupped his balls tightly while his other hand continued to pull his cock as it swelled up hard.

Ruby had unzipped and was now sliding her pants down her thighs, swiveling her hips around so that the pants would slip easily to the floor.

Holy fuck all! She had on black thigh high stalking’s under those jeans. She had a waist garter on over her black thong and the stalkings were clipped to it. She was a wet dream. She’d begun dancing seductively to the music and Sam was fully stroking himself now, watching her.

She turned and leaned back against the counter, spreading her legs and letting him see her as she slid her fingers down between her legs.

Sam watched, completely fixated on her as she let her eyes fall closed and her lips parted. She was panting now as she worked herself with her fingers. Her breasts were heaving and he watched as her other hand reached up and pinched her nipples through the fabric. She opened her eyes slowly and watched him as he fisted himself and stroked.

She mirrored his stance, putting on foot up on his toilet and giving him a clear view of all that was happening between her legs as she fingered herself in time with his strokes. He was going to blow his load all over the shower doors. Suddenly it occurred to him… she never said the shower doors had to stay closed. She had only said he couldn’t come out.

Quickly he reached up and shoved the shower door over and he could suddenly see her so much more clearly. He could see up close as her fingers thrusted into her soft pink center… her skimpy thong wasn’t hiding anything she did. She moaned for him, saying his name, telling him how much she loved seeing him touch himself.

He was stroking harder and faster now and feeling his body come alive in her presence. “Please, Ruby. Can I see your breasts?” he asked her.

“Oh Sam, you’re such a good boy for me. Of course you can see them.” she said sweetly, “they belong to you.”

His dick swelled up bigger just hearing her say it.

“That’s right Sam. The way your cock belongs to me… my breasts belong to you.”

“Can I suck them?” he asked her.

“Yes,” she told him stepping closer. He was careful not to leave the confines of the shower stall as he’d been directed. He waited patiently for her to move to him. He was practically drooling by the time she was close enough for him to suck that beautiful nub into his mouth. He sucked hard as he rode the high of being near orgasm, so hard it was a bit painful for her and she cried out. Hearing that – he came. He continued to suck her breast and stroke his cock as he rode out the last waves of his orgasm. When he opened his eyes, she was still close and he moved to kiss her. She smiled and leaned in and their lips locked together in a firm and passionate kiss.

After, she backed away from him and closed his shower door. He could see the shape of her moving about, putting her clothes back on; so he filled his palm with shampoo and washed his hair. When he was finished he opened the shower door and she was standing there – holding out a towel for him. She sat on the counter and talked to him while he dried himself off, brushed his teeth and got ready for class.

He moved to his room to get dressed and when he returned he found her just finishing with the cleaning of this cage. He didn’t even cringe when she started putting it back on him. He was sated now and he knew that he’d enjoy wearing it for at least a good portion of the day. He watched her click the lock in place and drape the key around her neck.

 _It’s gonna be a good day_ – he thought.

 

 

 

Cas remembered that Dean wasn’t a good flyer so he’d made sure to pump a few drinks in him before leaving the hotel. The trip wasn’t a rough one and Dean seemed okay for most of it. Making their way through the airport once they landed was a comedy of errors but they eventually found the transport to their hotel.

They got checked in and were able to sign up for tours right at the front desk. They spent a few minutes going over the options and then selected two zip line courses, a snorkeling trip and a hike through the jungle that boasted a lagoon swim and waterfall climb.

Even walking the streets had been an adventure. There were few Americans once they left their hotel and the streets were crowded and busy with a sense of strangeness that permeated everything else. This was far more exotic than a trip to Europe.

The zip line courses were incredible. The jungle was think and the sheiks of monkeys and exotic birds added to the alien feel of the environment.

The humidity was out of control too. Everything they touched was damp and their skin shone all day long with fine droplets of sweat on the smalls of their backs and upper lips. Cas’ fair skin darkened quickly as they lingered poolside at their resort or on hot sandy beaches of the area.

The snorkel tour was much better than Dean had anticipated. The water was crystal clear, the coral and underwater plants were beyond description. The colors were so vivid and bright that Cas could not stop taking pictures of them. He went through several disposable under-water cameras on their first trip and the moment they got back to the resort, Cas booked them on two more trips.

Dean could see why Cas liked it so much. It was like immersing yourself into a new and different world. The sun was scorching hot until you submerged and suddenly the world was made of cool, clear water, and the vibrant colors and abundant sea life kept you pushing forward, always searching for that next cool thing you were going to see.

Once when Cas had dove down about ten feet, he turned over to face the surface of the water rather than the brilliant sea life below. What he saw was Dean swimming towards him. He clicked a picture of the approach and then Dean had his arms around Cas. He spun and rolled them in the water until Cas couldn’t tell up from down. Then the man had gently pulled their masks off and kissed him as they floated slowly toward the surface amidst a maelstrom of the bubbles and fizz that they’d churned up.

When their time was up, they’d floated on the surface, looking back toward the jungle that encroached the beach a few hundred yards away. “God-damn it’s beautiful here,” Dean had said.

Their activities here were so strenuous during the day that they hardly had energy to have sex. When they’d get back to the resort, they’d be famished and eat dinner. Within a few minutes of dinner, both would be weary and ready to crawl into the bed.

The nights they spent on the island were wonderfully restful. There was air conditioning and a comfortable bed. But when they moved over to the mainland to stay in the cabin – it was different. The heat was oppressive and there was no break from it. No breeze and no air conditioning. The men found themselves wetting towels to keep their skin cool and wet while they fell asleep in the stifling humidity.

But, the most exciting thing to happen by far, was the 4am ‘monkey run’ as Dean took to calling it.

The way that Dave and Donna had explained it – made it sound cool. In real life, it was terrifying. Especially the first night.

They’d known what to expect when they came here. And, they’d been duly warned by the staff upon check in. But when the monkeys passed over their hut… it didn’t sound like monkeys running over their cabin. It sounded like giant gorillas trying to tear their cabin down. The ceiling and walls shook with the force of it and the shrieks from the monkeys were so loud that there was nothing that could block it out. It didn’t matter if you plugged your ears, or covered your head with the pillow, or even shouted. Nothing could block out the howling of the swinging tree animals when they passed over.  It was definitely an experience that neither man would ever forget.

Their phones hadn’t worked at all once they’d landed in Honduras so they knew they’d have a ton of messages to go over once they got back on US soil. There were also tons pictures galore to sort though. Most of their photos were digital but they also had many disposable/underwater cameras too. Those kind had to actually be taken for developing.

So, when their flight landed, they checked back in to the same hotel in Phoenix. They had a nice long nap while their devices charged. Then, when they woke, Cas started going through voicemails and text messages while Dean organized the pictures into a folder to send to Mary.

“Dean, I think we have a problem,” said Cas.

“What’s that?”

“Um… listen,” he said putting his phone on speaker.

“Cas, this is Mary. I’ve tried Dean’s phone but it’s going straight to voicemail and the voicemail is full. There were men here looking for Dean and asking questions about you Cas. They left their card. You’ve been on the news too. They’re showing your face and saying you’ve intentionally left the country to avoid possible prosecution. You boys need to come home now before this gets worse. Please call me.”

Dean blinked and gaped at Cas.

“That’s not all,” said Cas waiting for another message to play.

“Cassie, this is Anna. Why aren’t you calling me back? A road trip to the Grand Canyon is one thing… but leaving the country? Please call me as soon as you get this. We need to do some damage control.”

“When was that?” asked Dean.

“Day before yesterday,” said Cas.

Dean walked over and opened the laptop. He spent less than 10 minutes online looking up information about Cas. He looked over at his man who was sitting Indian-style on the bed and looking petrified.

“We need to go home Cas.” He said firmly. Cas just nodded, he didn’t even blink.

Dean picked up Cas’ phone. He dialed Anna. She picked up on the first ring. She didn’t say hello. She said, “Thank God Cassie. Please tell me you’re on US soil.”

“It’s Dean. And yes, we are.”


	14. Rich In The Things That Matter

“Dean, where is Cas?”

“He’s right here. He’s just…” Dean looked at Cas. His eyes were wide and unblinking and he stared forward, fixated on a blank spot on the wall.

“…He’s not ready to talk yet, Anna. This is kind of a shock for him; for us. We didn’t know – we just felt like going and went. No one told us we shouldn’t go or anything and our phones weren’t working there… we just got off a plane and checked messages and now… What the fuck, Anna! What’s happening?”

“The state is investigating. They appear to be entertaining the possibility of indicting on criminal charges. We always knew this was a possibility.”

“Yeah,” said Dean, remembering what John had told them. “We need a lawyer for Cas, don’t we? A good one.”

“Yes. I have someone if you guys would like to speak to him. He’s handling my case and is willing to see Cas. He’s very good.”

“Ok Anna. When should we come to see him?”

“As soon as possible. Where are you?”

“Phoenix”

“It’s important for people to know you’re back in America; they need to know that Cas isn’t trying to flee.”

“What do you recommend?”

“Dean? Let me call you right back.”

“Ok”

When the call ended, Dean moved to Cas. He knelt at the side of the bed and took both of Cas’ hands in his. “Cas?”

“Yes. Dean.”

“Can you look at me man?”

Seconds ticked by with Dean growing more apprehensive. Was Cas in shock? Should he be worried? Dean dropped his head to Cas’ knee and rested there for a moment, taking a deep breath. When he looked up again, Cas was looking at him.

“Hey there” said, smiling at Cas, relief flooding his veins.

“What did Anna say?”

“Um… I get the feeling she’s checking with people on what we should be doing. She’s going to call us back. For now, I’m going to get us ready to travel.”

“No Dean.” Cas tightened his grip on him and said quietly, “Please, just stay with me.”

Cas was clearly vulnerable and needed him. He didn’t even hesitate. He got to his feet and slid around behind Cas on the bed. He folded the man in his arms and became the big spoon. He planted kisses on the back of his neck that he hoped it would be reassuring, but he didn’t speak.

He didn’t make empty promises or fill up the quiet with meaningless words. They waited together in silence.

It took almost two hours for Anna to call back.

“Cas, it’s Anna.” Prompted Dean. He held out the phone to Cas but the man didn’t reach for it. “Do you want me to talk to her?” Cas nodded without looking at him, so Dean hit the button to answer.

“Cas?” said Anna.

“No. Sorry. It’s Dean again.”

“Is he really with you Dean?”

Dean looked over at Cas. He put a hand on the man’s knee. “Cas, buddy I really need you to talk to Anna. Please can you talk to your sister?”

Cas reached out blindly and took the phone. Dean watched closely. When Cas said hello and heard Anna’s voice, a tear tracked down his cheek. Dean sat down on the bed. He wasn’t leaving to afford privacy this time. He wanted to know what was being said and made no secret of it. Cas seemed to feel his discomfort and looked up at him. When their eyes met this time, Cas gave him a purposeful nod.

“Anna,” said Cas firmly, “I don’t want to interrupt but I’m going to put you on speaker so Dean can hear too and I’m going to ask that you start over, ok?”

“Ok Cassie.” Her voice sounded tinny through the small speaker, but her tone was reassuring. “So, now that you’re back, you need to get a lawyer. There’s no one speaking for you right now. I wanted to, when they first started saying you’d left the country to avoid prosecution. But Michael was adamant that we had no right to speak for you. That anything we said could be misconstrued and have negative effects. He was afraid we’d hurt more than help if we made a public statement for you. But someone needs to. The sooner the better.”

“And then what?” asked Cas.

“That’s it for now.” She said firmly. You need representation, someone to give you solid advice as this progresses and you need someone speaking publicly for you. For now, that’s all you need.” She paused and then continued, “Cas, you’re not being charged with anything right now. This is just a publicity nightmare and nothing more. We’ll handle it and move on. Hopefully, your lawyer will only ever serve as your advisor and mouthpiece. We’re all still hopeful that you and I will not be prosecuted.”

Cas visibly relaxed once that had been said. “Ok,” said Cas – resuming his normal, confident and commanding voice, “So you said you had someone you wanted me to meet with?”

“Yes. When can you be back in SF?”

Cas looked at Dean and guessed… “I don’t know. I guess I could take the next flight back. But, that leaves Dean driving home alone.”

“That’s ok Cas, it’s not a problem,” said Dean reassuringly.

“Not necessary,” responded Anna. “Drive home together. Just… no more unnecessary stops ok?”

“Ok” the men said in unison.

“Now, give me an estimate on how many days til you’re back.”

“Two” said Dean firmly.

“Ok then. I’ll set a tentative meeting for you on… Thursday morning at 11:00. If it starts feeling like you might not be able to make it, then you call and we’ll move it.”

“Thank you Anna.” Said Cas.

“You’re welcome,” she said sweetly, “And Cassie? You don’t have to use this guy. If you meet with him and end up wanting to use someone else that’s fine. But I really like him.”

“Ok.” Said Cas.

“Dean are you still there?” asked Anna.

“Yes.”

“You take care of my brother ok?”

“Ok.”

They ended the call and Dean looked to Cas. They eyes locked for a minute and then Cas slumped. “Sorry,” he said, “I was picturing going to prison. It took me to a bad place.”

“You’re not going to prison Cas.” Said Dean firmly, “Not on my watch. I’ll take you to Honduras for real before I let that happen.”

Cas smiled and Dean put a hand on his shoulder. “Look man, I gotta call mom. But if you’ve had enough, I can go down and sit in the lobby while I call her.”

“No. Call Mom. I want to be here for that.” It was a Freudian slip. Cas had meant to say ‘call your mom’ not ‘call mom’. But if Dean caught it, he didn’t show it.

Dean moved to his bag and pulled out a joint. He lit it and handed it to Cas, knowing it would go a long way towards taking the edge off his nerves. “Here.” He said. Cas took it gratefully and inhaled deeply. “We rolled so many of these… can’t believe we’ve only used a few”

“That must mean we had a great trip,” smiled Cas. “We were having so much fun we didn’t even miss Mary Jane.”

“It was fun, wasn’t it?” Dean was smiling.

They passed the smoke back and forth while Dean called Mary. She was relieved to her that the boys were back and heading home. Dean reassured her that Cas was going to retain counsel as soon as they were back in the city and that Cas wasn’t officially charged with anything yet.

“Mom? If Cas doesn’t want to retain Anna’s attorney… do you have a recommendation?”

“Well, I would call Norman first I guess. This really isn’t his area of expertise or practice. He does contract law. But, I would trust him to give me the name of someone good.”

“Ok. Thanks mom.”

“Dean, how is Cas doing?”

“Well, today was rough, but he’s ok now I think.”

“You give him a hug for me ok?” she said.

“Okay mom. Love you”

“Love you to Dean, bye”

 

When he’d disconnected the call he leaned forward and pulled Cas into a lingering hug. “That’s from mom” he said. Then he began gathering their things. Cas helped him pack up and they were back in the car again. Cas plotted a route on his phone.

“You should sleep some if you can.” Dean told him, “The more we can switch off driving the less we’ll have to stop and the faster we’ll get there.”

Cas knew Dean was right, but it was hard to adjust to the fun road trip being over. They were driving with a purpose now. It wasn’t so fun. He reached behind himself to grab the hoodie from his duffle stuffed it against the window as a pillow. He hadn’t expected to sleep, but evidently he had. He awoke to the car slowing and turning into a gas station.

They filled the tank, used the facilities and grabbed some food before heading out again. When they hit Death Valley, Cas was behind the wheel. The landscape was just as dead and dry as it had been on their first crossing. But now, instead of being exciting new terrain, it just felt lonely and empty. It made his chest feel hollow. Whenever his mind wandered, it wandered to his fate. He was slowly becoming more and more certain that he’d be lucky to come out of this without seeing the inside of jail cell. He glanced over at Dean sleeping in the seat next to him. He felt lucky to have the man with him in this dark hour.

 

 

 

 

Sam spent most of the day thinking about his dick. And Ruby.

It was so strange… this cage on his cock was meant to keep him chaste. But he’d never thought so much about his dick.

The irony didn’t escape him: the cage forced all of his attention to his cock… which had never been more useless.

As he walked from class to class he looked at the faces that passed him, still wondering if anyone could tell what he had on under his pants. It didn’t appear that they did.

For all he knew, many of the men that passed him were also wearing one. He chuckled thinking of the possibility. A bunch of men running around thinking they were the only ones with this dirty little secret when really – lots of them were wearing one. It wasn’t a realistic thought. But it was funny.

As he sat down in his last class of the day, his mind shifted to Ruby. Would she come over and ‘take care of him’ again in the morning? Every morning? How long would he be wearing this thing? Would it really change him the way she seemed to think it would? Sam was doubtful.

 

 

 

 

When Dean awoke, it was to the sweet smell of weed burning. He opened bleary eyes to see Cas behind the wheel and smoking a joint. Dean assumed that hours of quiet introspection while Dean had been sleeping may have been hard on Cas. He focused on opening his eyes.

The Impala was roaring down the highway but it felt like they were getting nowhere. They were in the center of a large circle of sand and though they continued to drive, they were no closer to the edge of the circle than they had been when dean fell asleep.

“How long was I out?” he asked his driver.

“Couple hours. You drooled for a while. It was precious.”

Ah… the real Cas was back. Sarcasm, cheap shots and all.

“I’m hungry.”

“Not much to be done about that right now.” Cas grinned, “unless you want to pull over and shoot a snake”

Dean smiled and pulled his phone out, trying to check for when there would be a wide spot in the road offering civilization (and food). No internet. Ugh.

When they finally got some food it was low quality and poorly prepared. Very unsatisfying. “I want a baleada” whined Dean, remembering the little hand held taco type treat he’d eaten about fifty of in Honduras.

“Mmm” moaned Cas, “with sausage”.

The car was quiet for a while and Cas decided to lay down and sleep. It was starting to get dark anyway. He turned on the radio quietly and then leaned over across the front seat, putting his crumpled hoodie up against Dean’s thigh to use as a pillow. There wasn’t much room for his legs which were folded awkwardly but it felt good to lay his down rather than lean it against the window.

Before long he felt Dean’s palm came to rest on his shoulder and he was able to doze comfortably for a while. He faded in and out. When his legs started to cramp up he sat back up again. “Oh Thank Fuck!” he spat out, thrilled to finally be seeing green trees out the window instead of endless desert.

“If you’re up for driving a bit… I think I could sleep some.” Said Dean.

Cas nodded ascent and Dean pulled the car over on the shoulder to switch. Dean slept for quite a while as Cas navigated the car down the dark and silent highway.

 

 

 

Sam was just dropping his book bag in a chair when his phone pinged with a message. He swiped his thumb across the screen and saw a message from Meg. A picture message. He opened it to look closer before even thinking about his dick being confined.

She’d sent him a picture of her breasts, ample and soft, literally bursting out the top of a corset type top. Damn. That message was followed immediately by another… bare tits. Fuck.

Oh no… no no no no! Shit. Dick in a vice grip. “Dammit Meg!” he breathed deeply and willed his cock to go down. He tried division in his head again. It seemed to be the most effective tool in his mental arsenal to combat desire. Involving his brain in the action of actual problem solving was a far better distraction than just unsavory mental images.

He called Meg as soon as his ‘situation’ was under control.

“Hello Sammy,” she purred at him. For once he didn’t find that sultry voice attractive.

“Hey Meg, I got your pictures.”

“Oh yeah, I thought you might need a little ‘pick-me-up’. I haven’t heard from you in a few days. How are things?”

“Things suck. My mom ambushed me here at school and it didn’t go well. I have no idea what I’m going to do. But on the upside, I’ve met someone.”

She got quiet. He’d never really said that before. She knew he considered her a ‘friend with benefits’ but for all the women he’d been with, he’d never actually told her anything about any of them. Other women blew in and out of his life like fallen leaves in fall. She was his constant. Even if she hadn’t known it… he’d told her so.

“I’ve stunned you into silence. I had no idea that was possible.” He said honestly.

“You’ve never mentioned any of your girls to me before” she said honestly, “I guess that means this one is different?”

“Yes. Very. I won’t be able to be any more than friends with you while I’m with her.”

“Wow Sammy, I don’t even know what to say.”

“Me neither,” he said. He’d been surprised by easily he’d verbalized his intentions to be faithful. He’d tried when he’d been with Amelia and couldn’t do it. He’d really thought he was in love with her at first. But still, he couldn’t turn down Meg.

Now here he was… just a few days in with Ruby and calmly telling his best friend with benefits that after years and years of sex… they were done. He’d told her with surety that there’d be nothing more than friendship between them for the duration of his time with Ruby. The enormity of that hit him hard and fast.

“I guess I’ll let you go Sam. Just call me if you need… a friend?”

“Meg, I appreciate you stepping back from sex for me, but we’re still friends so call me whenever you want. Just no more titty pics ok?”

“Ok” she found herself smiling despite the small fissure that seemed to spread through her heart.

When they’d hung up, she found herself overwhelmed with sadness. She’d been assuming for years that when Sam finally found himself ready to settle down… he’d do it with her. Now she wasn’t so sure anymore.

 

 

 

Dean and Cas rumbled into town late Wednesday afternoon. They were dirty and road-weary. As they’d rode up the elevator to Cas’ condo the man had said it was good to be home.

Dean agreed. He didn’t say anything out loud, but in his mind he noticed that he’d thought of Cas’ place as home. They settled in, putting dirty clothes in the wash and ordering in some food before heading to take a hot shower. Dean had become used to this too… the sharing of a shower. The sharing of a bed. These intimate places were now lonesome without Cas. The thought of going home to his giant bed alone was appalling.

When they exited the shower, Cas flopped on the bed. Clearly they were both exhausted. Dean laid down next to him, running his hand along the man’s damp torso. He wrapped his finger around the knot in the towel and tugged it loose, pulling it away and tossing it to the floor. He turned his head and watched Cas’ dick start to get hard while feeling his do the same.

They rolled to face each other and touched lips. Dean felt Cas press in and opened for his man, letting his tongue tangle with Deans how he wanted, responding with flicks and licks and then finally – moaning when he felt Cas push a hand up his thigh.

It was good to be back in their bed. They’d slept in far better beds on vacation and far worse. But this one was theirs. It was home. Dean felt Cas lean in more let himself be rolled to his back as his man moved to hover over him. Dean parted his legs. The feeling of Cas sliding between them was reminiscent of a key sliding into a lock; as though they were made to fit together just like this.

Cas lined up their cocks and pressed against him. Dean could feel the man smile against his throat as he trailed kisses down and pressed lower still, taking one of Dean’s nipples between his teeth and rolling his tongue over it. He couldn’t help letting out a satisfied sigh as the tingles that Cas pulled out of him began to migrate south. He wrapped his arms around to Cas at the middle and then teased his hands down over the man’s ass.

Cas had gotten so tan on their trip, it was a new kind of sexy and his eyes seemed an even brighter blue against the dark skin. They’d broken apart for a moment and Dean realized belatedly that he’d been staring into Cas’ eyes like a love-struck teen. He _felt_ like a love struck teen.

Cas leaned in and began kissing him again, smoothly and softly, glancing at Dean every once in a while and sharing a soft smile with him. Dean felt Cas shift and reach for the drawer to pull out lube and watched closely as his man covered his fingers in it and reached down.

“Uhh” Dean breathed when he felt Cas’ touch. He felt fingers move in and slide over the good spot and his body trembled with it, yearning for more.

Cas dropped his face to Deans chest and continued to work his nipples while his fingers slid gently in and out and around, bending and flexing and teasing until Dean couldn’t keep still. His body moved with Cas in a slow rolling grind, and then it was happening.

Cas was pressing in. Dean’s body responded sharply to the intrusion… his breath quickened to a soft pant… his hips stopped rolling… he was being filled.

He’d been fucked a few times now but his body wasn’t getting used to it. Each time it happened it was as mind melting as it had been the first time. His body was never as fully attuned to Cas as it was in these moments.

When he felt how his body initially rejected the act but then slowly made room for all that Cas gave him – it was a metaphor for everything that two people do as they fall in love.

Two separate people will have full lives – family, friends, jobs, hobbies, house, furnishings and even pets. Then they meet and start to fall in love. The people in their lives all take a step back and make room for this new person. Then they begin sharing more time and their hobbies become interwoven as do their social circles and all the rest that follows.

Naturally and without intent, our lives peel back and make room for this new person in it. It felt like a solid truth for Dean as he looked up at Cas and watched the man push slowly into his deepest, darkest and most intimate of places. And Dean’s body would make room for him little by little – so they could make love.

Cas was fully seated now and Dean could feel every breath the man took through their connection, every move, every shift of weight would be felt at the place of their joining. Dean’s heart was pounding and he was still panting, wanting. He took a deep breath and let his head fall back in ecstasy as Cas began to move in him. Pleasure passed over him in waves as Cas rolled into him again and again and when Cas slid his hard member over Deans sweet spot he cried out for more.

Cas gave him more, gave it harder and faster at Deans urging. He was desperate, feverish and he’d never get enough. He felt it coming now, that elusive peak that toyed with him and made him a slave. He closed his eyes in surrender and the forced them open again. He wanted to see Cas, and when their eyes connected he felt the fire shooting through his entire body and both of them clenched together with open mouths and heavy breaths, seeing stars dance behind their eyes as their end rushed to meet them and swept them over the edge.

Their breathing was heavy and loud, neither man wanting the dizzying rush to be over. They continued to touch each other reverently and lay close as they came down from the high and languidly sank deep into the bed. With the comfort of familiar smelling sheets around him and Cas in his arms, Dean fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

 

 

 

Days passed by quickly as fall turned to winter. They went with Anna to meet the lawyer and retained his services. His name was Zachariah and he was smarmy. But he was smart. He clearly knew what he was doing and how best manipulate the situation for his client. Dean didn’t like him. But he could tell the man was a good lawyer. He’d known enough of them.

Cas had laughed at Deans assessment of the man and hired him. There was a lot of discussion regarding ‘what if’ scenarios. But what it came down to was a waiting game. They had to wait to see if the state was going to press charges against the Milton’s and if so… who would they charge with what. A public statement was drafted to be read at the next press conference for the cases.

Zachariah seemed to be of the opinion that Cas and Anna would not be indicted. They’d not been with the company long enough. The cases that were of interest to the state right now were the wrongful death cases and those were both older. Cas and Anna had been children when the decisions affecting those people had been made. Their father had been a much younger man then. His indictment seemed likely, as did that of several board members who’d been with the company for most of their lives.

As they re-organized their lives, job number one was figuring out what to do with themselves. Unfortunately Dean was much better at naming what he didn’t want to do than what he did. One morning, he was in the closet and he said, “You know Cas, I don’t think I was meant to wear a suit to work.”

“Pity, cause you look great wearing one.” Cas had quipped.

Both men had put together their resumes and begun sending them out online, participating in Linked In and other work type social media. There were opportunities to be had, more for Cas then for Dean as his education was better.

But, as they’d feared, it was difficult for Cas to even get an interview anywhere. Between the blacklist he was on because of his parents and his face on TV amidst a scandal… there weren’t any takers.

Knowing that they may be unemployed for quite a while, Dean had to move more money from savings. He was no longer drawing a salary from Winchester Law but he would still receive an income from the business.

The income came in two ways. Primarily, dividends paid on stock. That was something that happened once a year and would yield Dean a large check.

The other income Dean could expect was in the form of profit sharing. For the average employee this could be a decent sized bonus to their regular salary. For someone owning about 35% of the company? It was a substantial sum. If the company was profitable. Right now, because of the withdrawal of Baxter/Miltons business, the company was barely operating in the black. They’d be lucky to get through the fiscal year without posting losses. So what this meant for Dean is that the only income he could really count on was his dividend check, and that was about five months away.

He’d been wise with his dividend checks in the past… always re-investing the money. From now on, he’d have to use it to live on. The fiscal year would be over in about 5 months. It was going to be tight living on his savings until then.

Cas was feeling the pinch too. He had a sizeable trust fund, but Zachariah’s retainer had taken a large chunk of it. If Cas was indicted… the attorney fees and court costs could easily eat up the rest of it.

The weather was always quick to change in the bay area, but now the winds had a sharper bite to them and the rains seemed colder and heavier with the change of seasons. They’d taken to playing basketball at the gym a few times a week with Cole and some of his work friends which was fun and when the weather was bad, Dean found that he could easily pass hours at a time with Cas at the record store too.

Cas was now accompanying Dean to Sunday Brunch at Mary’s house and Anna came too sometimes. Dean could tell that his mom really liked both Cas and Anna so he didn’t hesitate to bring them over with him when he came home for something.

Sam hadn’t been to a brunch since they boys had returned from their road trip. In fact, neither he nor his mother had heard from Sam at all. The more time that went by, the more angry he became. If Sam wanted to be mad at him… fine. But how dare he cut out their mother?

 

 

 

 

Sam was walking through the quad on a rainy afternoon, when he noticed a beautiful woman stranded without an umbrella. She looked to be freezing and he wasn’t in a hurry so he made his way over to her. As he approached he smiled at her and stepped up, covering her with his oversized black umbrella.

Belatedly he noticed how sexy she really was. Her long hair framed a gentle face with exotic bedroom eyes. Her pink lips were parted and the rain was beading off her long eyelashes and full mouth. The white cotton shirt she wore was nearly wet all the way through and he could easily make out the outline of her breasts and the line of her dainty bra. And yes, the cold was swelling her nipples to porn star quality.

Old Sam would’ve been half hard just observing her. He would’ve been working up a line for her before he even put his umbrella out over her head. He would’ve abandoned whatever had been planned for the afternoon and taken this woman somewhere, anywhere so he could have his way with her.

Not anymore. He noticed that she was sexy. He noticed that she was wet. But it made no difference to him on a personal level or on his plans for the rest of the afternoon. “I’m Sam,” he told her.

“Millie” she responded shyly.

“Where are you headed?”

“I don’t know. I’m here for a campus visit and managed to lose my group. I have no idea where to find them or even how to get back to the building where the tour started.” She looked like she may cry.

“Don’t worry,” he told her kindly, “you’re really not that far. How bout I walk you back?”

“Thank you” she said sweetly to him.

“Here, hold this for a sec” he said – pushing the umbrella handle into her hands.  He kept his body under the umbrella the best he could as he pulled his backpack off his shoulder and dug to the bottom for his ‘Stanford’ hoodie. Having located it, he traded it to her for the umbrella handle. He then waited while she put it on gratefully. She looked adorable in it. “Ready?” he asked her.

“Yes” she beamed.

He walked her back to across to the Visitor Center, shaking out his umbrella on the stoop and then walking her up to the desk. When she appeared to be in capable hands, he turned to leave her there.

“Wait!” she said, running after him, “your shirt!” and she began to tug it off over her head. He didn’t even look at the outline of her breasts (though he noticed many guys around him noticing) and simply laid a hand on her arm, telling her to keep it. He told her that after having been lost in the rain it was her consolation prize.

“And” he joked, “It already has that college smell to it… the musty bottom of a book bag smell. Mmm” she smiled brightly at his teasing tone and thanked him again for helping her back.

As he exited the building and resumed his route home from class he reflected on her briefly. She’d really been something. Young. Sweet. Ripe for the picking. But he’d never even noticed his dick the entire time he’d been with her. He’d noticed her, of course, he wasn’t blind. But he’d been respectful of boundaries and never even considered his dick once.

Doing anything sexual with her had simply been off the table from the first moment. He smiled as he walked back to his dorm. He was controlling his dick with his mind. It was a whole new Jedi-mind-trick kind of power. _I am Luke Skywalker_ – he thought.

Then he remembered… He wasn’t even wearing the cage. He swelled with pride.

These past few weeks with Ruby had been quite educational. Sam liked sex. Always had. Usually, he’d say the wilder the better.

But Ruby was different. He hadn’t known what she was when he’d met her. But he knew now. She was a force. Incredibly smart. Incredibly beautiful. Incredibly… dominant. And she had opened up his eyes.

The first time he’d let her cuff him, he hadn’t thought it would be any different than the other times he’d been cuffed or cuffed someone else. With Ruby, there was more behind it then the simple titillation of being bound.

To be with Ruby was to bend to her will. To become hers fully. He could see now why she didn’t have many lovers. The intensity with which she formed a relationship was daunting.

But he was hers now. And he wasn’t going anywhere. The cock cage was a joy to wear now, not a chore.

At first, he hadn’t understood how wearing that bit of plastic was going to teach him to be faithful. But it had. His constant attention to his dick had trained his body by repetition – literally taught him to be conscious of his dick at all times and only use it as appropriate. It was effective, and he loved it.

In fact, sometimes he’d beg her for it even though she may end up keeping him in it for days. Showing her his fortitude and endurance by wearing it was exciting.

The rewards she dished out when he earned it were intense. She had shown him how strong he could be when he wanted to be and how passionately two people could feel things when they knew how to push each other’s boundaries.

Her introduction of pain and denial into his sex life had been quite a change for Sam who had always been focused on more immediate rewards.

If he had to compare sex before and after Ruby… it was like the difference between a child being given a jelly bean each time they cleaned their room and a child being given a brand new gaming system when they’d kept their room clean for 10 days without being told. It was just a higher level of payoff. It was a more involved way of thinking and fucking.

It was something he loved now. Being bound, being delayed, being spanked or whipped, being forced by punishment or reward to alter his behaviors. It was the most exciting education he’d ever received. And it really was changing him. He could feel it.

 

 

 

It was Sunday morning. Christmas was only a week off. They were on their way to brunch when Cas suggested they stop for some cherry tartlettes at the Bakery that Mary loved. Dean pulled up to the curb and idled while Cas ran in to the shop. He came out a few minutes later, empty handed and looked perplexed.

“I need your card.”

Dean handed Cas his debit card and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know. Mine has inexplicably stopped working.” With that, Cas had turned abruptly back to the bakery. When he returned he set the bakery box on his lap in the car and handed Dean back his card with the receipt.

Dean watched as Cas pulled out his phone and looked up his bank account online. “I guess I need a new card. This one didn’t work in there… it denied. But there’s money in my account.”

“That’s weird,” said Dean, “Maybe it’s their slider thing. You wanna try and ATM and see if your card will work in a different machine?”

“If you think there’s time.”

“Sure,” Dean had said. He pulled around the corner to a drive through ATM.  Cas handed Dean the card and told him the pin. Dean couldn’t even get out $20. “Huh. Guess you better stop at the bank tomorrow and have them make you a new card.”

Brunch was lovely that day. When they stepped in the house, they could smell a delicious quiche baking. Mary loved the tarts they’d brought and after they’d eaten, the three of them jumped in her SUV and headed over to the Emerald Forest Christmas Tree Lot. The boys walked through with Mary while looking at all the trees and enjoying their smell and the holiday spirit that had taken hold of the city.

When they’d gotten back to her house, they wrangled her tree from the roof of her SUV and into the house for her. They wrestled it into the stand for her and trimmed it up. Then the three of them spent the afternoon decorating it.

When they were leaving she sent them home with a pie. It was almost too perfect. Except that it wasn’t. John wasn’t here with them and neither was Sam.

In the car, Dean said, “Cas, I think I could deal with Dad being gone. It couldn’t be helped. He’s gone. But Sam? Sam’s less than an hour away.” Dean flopped back in his seat as he waited for the light. Cas watched Dean try to keep his emotions in check. He saw the tell-tale quiver of his mans chin. “Where _is he_ , Cas? I just don’t get it.”

Cas put a hand on Deans shoulder. “All you can do is give him time Dean.” it was no consolation.

“Is he really gonna miss _Christmas_? Who does that?”

“I’m sorry Dean.”

“Me too.” He said, hitting the gas a bit too hard.

 

 

The next morning, Cas got up and headed to the bank to have a new card made.

“Want company?” asked Dean.

“Wow. You’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel for things to do if you’re asking me to ride along to the bank.”

“I know. I either need a job or a vacation.” Dean laughed. “Let me come with you and we can go to the record store after… maybe get some lunch?”

“Ok, that sounds nice Dean. Maybe while we’re out I can find a gift for Anna.”

“You haven’t found anything for her yet?” Dean asked as they pulled on their coats, hats and scarves.

“No. I’m lost for what to get her.”

“We’ll find something Cas” said Dean, clapping him on the shoulder as they walked out the door. “You wanna drive?”

“Sure” said Cas, heading for his car.

They drove a few blocks over to the bank and parked, heading in the front entrance. The line wasn’t too long and when they came to the front, Cas stepped up to a window and said, “My debit card doesn’t seem to be working. Can you please issue me a new one?”

“I’d be happy to help you with that,” smiled the teller. “What is your account number?”

“92601043” he told her.

“Mr. Milton, excuse me please, I’ll be just a moment.”

Dean thought the young lady had left to go make a new card. But a moment later when she returned, she was accompanied by the branch manager. “Mr. Milton, hello. My name is Susan Karns. I’m the branch manager here. I’d like to assist you. Can you step into my office please?”

“Of course” he responded and followed her across the lobby to a large office. Cas moved to sit down in a chair and dean followed. She looked directly at Dean and said, “I didn’t catch your name sir.”

“I’m Dean Winchester he said, reaching across her desk to accept the hand she was holding out for him.”

“Mr. Milton,” she said, “Is it alright to speak about your personal finances in front of Mr. Winchester?”

“Yes,” he said, starting to wonder what all this was about.

“Alright then. Mr. Milton, your debit card is not malfunctioning. Your account simply has no available balance.” She paused, clearly allowing a moment for that to sink in. Then she continued, “We’ve received paperwork from the state of California requiring us to freeze all of your accounts. You should be receiving an official notice soon if it hasn’t already come.”

“You’re joking.” Said Dean flatly.

“I’m afraid not. Unfortunately, it is the law that we must comply with this. Until the state sends us the appropriate paperwork to release your assets, I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do.”

“But…” Cas trailed off, “but that was everything I have… how am I to live? Buy groceries or put gas in my car?”

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Milton. There’s just nothing I can do.”

“I see. Well, thank you for your time, then.” Said Cas, getting to his feet. Dean followed him in a daze. They sat back down in the car.

“Shit Cas… I… What is there to say? This is a whole new level of bullshit.”

“I have to make a call.” Said Cas, “Will you drive, Dean?”

“Sure.”

They switched seats and Dean drove silently while Cas sat beside him and quietly called Anna and then Zachariah before settling back on the seat to stare silently ahead as they moved slowly through the rainy streets which were swollen with holiday shoppers.

“What did Anna say?”

“Nothing. She’s literally running down to the corner ATM to see if her card will work.”

“What if if does?”

“Then she’ll go straight to the bank and take out all she can.”

“What if it doesn’t?”

“No idea” said Cas quietly.

“What is Zach sayin’?”

“He said not to panic, the money isn’t being seized it’s just frozen.”

“Is that all he had to say?” Dean asked tersly.

“He said to give him a few days and he’d see what he can do. We’re meeting on Thursday.”

“Ok. Let that highly paid fucker earn his absorbent fee.” Said Dean, turning left and pulling into his own bank. He climbed out of the car but Cas wasn’t moving. Dean leaned back in the driver door and looked calmly at Cas. “You comin or you wanna wait here?”

“I’ll just… wait here.” He said evenly.

When Dean returned a few minutes later, Cas hadn’t moved. “Here” said Dean.

Cas turned his head and looked at Dean, “What is this?”

“It’s your new card. And look… it’s prettier than your old one. Has a picture of the bridge on it.”

Cas took the card Dean was holding out to him. He looked at it closely. It said San Francisco Federal Credit Union on it. At the bottom the names read Dean Winchester and Castiel Milton. “Dean I can’t…”

“Can it Cas,” Dean interrupted, “we’re not gonna have a big chick flick moment about this. Put the fuckin card in your wallet and don’t feel weird about it ok?”

“Dean I...”

“Not kiddin Cas.” Dean said, cutting him off again. “The pin is 8587. It was my mailbox code at school. It’s my pin for everything. Why are you still holdin’ that Cas? I said put it in your wallet.”

Cas pulled out his wallet and tucked the card into it, over top of his own useless card. When Cas looked back at Dean he had a fist full of cash. He took some for himself and handed Cas the rest. As soon as Cas took the cash from him, Dean pulled out his own wallet and stuck his share of the bills in it. “That’s just to save you a trip to the ATM, I don’t want you to feel like your wallet is empty. Now, what’s our pin?”

“8587”

“Good. Now, I have an idea for Anna’s Christmas present. You trust me?” Cas couldn’t speak. He just looked at Dean and tried to keep his face from crumbling.

“Yeah… don’t answer that,” he laughed.

They rode in silence for a few minutes, headed back the way they’d just come from, to a storefront they’d passed a few minutes ago. He parked in a garage on the corner and beckoned Cas to follow him. Dean moved along the crowded sidewalk, letting the back of his hand brush on Cas’ as they walked. Then when he reached his destination, he pulled the door open grandly for Cas.

Cas looked up at the sign. ‘Terra Mia Ceramic Studio’. Huh.

When they stepped in Cas’ senses were overwhelmed. It smelled amazing. Like gingerbread cookies and coffee. It was bright… the room looked like a kindergarten art room. There was funky new age music playing. Dean, who was ahead of him was already taking off his coat.

He took Cas’ coat too and hung them up. Cas was looking around. There were shelves and shelves of pottery on one side of the room and art supplies on the other. In the middle were tables set up. Many were occupied with women sitting around painting things and chatting.

Dean moved to Cas’ side. “Mom told me about this place. She said it’s fun. You just pick out something from the shelves here and paint it how you like. Then you leave it behind and they fire it for you. You come back in a few days and pick up the finished piece.

“And you were thinking we’d make something for Anna?”

“Yes. Chicks love this kind of shit. I was thinking like a set of plates or a set of mugs. When she finds out we made them I bet she’ll cry.”

“Plates” said Cas. “Christmas plates. It’s perfect.”

They sat painting for hours. It was far more fun than Dean would’ve ever thought. They ate cookies and sipped delicious coffee. For Cas it was almost therapeutic. He was focused on something fun and creative instead of the life that was imploding around him.

“Ya wanna hear somthin’ funny?” Dean prompted.

“Always.”

“This is exactly the kind of gay-ass shit that I would’ve hated having a girl drag me to. Being gay was supposed to be my get-out-of-jail-free card for havin to do this kind of crap. But now, here I sit…”

“And you love it don’t you, Dean.”

“Yeah Cas. I love it. I wanna come back and make a cookie jar for my place”

They both busted out laughing.

“Dean. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome Cas.”

“For the card too, Dean.”

“I know Cas. You don’t need to feel weird about it at all ok? You would do it for me, right?”

“Yes.”

“Well then ok.” Said Dean, firmly closing the subject.

They continued painting for another hour or so. When they were finished they had a set of themed holiday plates handmade for Anna.

 

 

Thursday rolled around and Cas headed over to the meeting with Zachariah and Dean came along for moral support. They found out that there was nothing that could be done to fight the freezing of Cas’ assets. Even worse, was finding out that not only had they frozen his bank accounts, they’d also put a lien on his car and his condo. Now he was officially barred from selling anything. It hadn’t occurred to Cas to sell his car, but it probably would’ve sooner or later. He’d paid over $90,000 for it. He could’ve gotten enough to live on for quite some time by selling it. But that option was lost to him now.

“Do they realize how foolish this is?” asked Cas, “I’m driving around in a luxury car and I don’t have five dollars to put gas in it.”

Zach was full of consoling words and he encouraged Cas to persevere. Well, what the fuck else was there to do?

They left the meeting and headed back to Cas’ condo. In the car Dean said, “Cas? Why do we still have two places?”

He didn’t miss a beat. “Because the State of California says I can’t sell mine.”

“Bitter and jaded isn’t a flattering look for you” said Dean teasingly. “And I’m serious. It’s ridiculous the way we move back and forth between our two places. When was the last time we slept apart?”

“I don’t remember,” said Cas quietly.

“Well, let’s just move in together. We’ll have less to clean. I won’t constantly be looking for something that’s been left at the other place and we’ll save a fortune in utility costs.”

“You make a point,” said Cas, “but I don’t want us to live together for convenience. It’s just going to feel like one more thing that’s being forced on us.”

“Not to me,” said Dean. “I’ve been thinking about this for a long damn time. Even back when we were still working I thought of it. Every time I need a shirt that’s been left at the other condo I tell myself we should be living together. I’ve just never worked up to asking you before.” Dean leaned over and pecked Cas on the scruffy cheek. “It’s not romantic… it aint sexy… but this is me askin you.”

“Okay Dean. Let’s move in.” Cas seemed serious, his face barely moving. But Dean saw it… that little flick of a smile that played at the corner of his mouth. It came and went so quickly that most wouldn’t see it. But Dean did, and he loved that secret smile.

 

Dean couldn’t believe it was happening, but it was. Christmas Day was here and Sam wasn’t. The boys had packed up their presents, goodies and an overnight bag in the car and driven over to Dean’s mom’s house on Christmas Eve Day.

They’d spent the afternoon baking and decorating a real gingerbread house. That evening, Anna and Michael joined them for dinner. Mary had outdone herself in the kitchen and everything was delicious.

It was getting progressively easier to have Michael around. He no longer felt like a mortal enemy. It was more the feeling of having dinner with an acquaintance... someone you didn’t know very well who just happened to have really pissed you off once a long time ago.

When the dinner was finished, they’d cleared the table and started playing cards. Just for kicks, Dean and Cas taught Mary how to play spoons. The game turned out to be a fun icebreaker between the boys and Michael too.

Easy laughter was just a product of the game and the forced application of Egg nog with real rum for the looser each round was keeping every one feeling happy and buzzed. When it started getting late, Mary begged off for bed and ‘left the kids to their game.’

The pace of the game slowed and the conversation picked up as they discussed more serious topics. Dean was solidly buzzed and trying not to talk about the hole in his heart that was missing his father and brother. But Cas and Anna were heavily discussing the holiday without their folks – for its better and it’s worse.

Cas asked Anna if she was really ok. “Yes,” she said firmly, holding Michaels hand. “I’m not afraid to be poor… I am rich in the things that matter.” She said matter-of-factly. “If Dad had ever read the bible he uses to assuage his petty judgements, he’d know that the price of wealth is ones soul.”

Dean and Cas both looked at her intently. “What? Look it up.” She said firmly. “Matthew 19 verse 24. In that verse Jesus tells his disciples that it’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.”

She looked intently at Cas. “That’s what I rehearsed saying to him – but it didn’t come to me as I walked out the door.”

“Well Anna,” Cas ventured, “I sure would’ve loved to see the look on his face if you’d said that to him!” grinned Cas.

They continued to play for a bit but then Dean convinced them to settle in front of the TV and watch ‘National Lampoons Christmas Vacation.’ Neither Cas or Anna had ever seen it before and they all laughed themselves silly together on the couch in the soft light of the Christmas tree.

When Anna and Michael left, they left in good spirits. Cas and Dean headed up to Deans childhood bedroom where they were sleeping. It was kind of steamy to crawl into the bed with Cas in his old room.

“Cas, do you have any idea how much jacking off happened in this bed?”

“Oh Dean, don’t tease me” grinned Cas as he slid his hand around Deans waiting cock.

“Don’t make any noise Cas,” said Dean, “I don’t want mom to hear us.”

The men smiled widely and began moving their hands slowly up and down each other’s stiffening cocks. They both rolled to face one another and picked up the pace a bit as pre-come started to leak out. Dean tipped his forehead into Cas’ chest and bit his lip to be quiet. They emptied themselves into each other’s hands breathily and made sure to wipe the mess on their discarded shirts, rather than the sheets that Mary would be washing.

“Merry Christmas,” whispered Dean.

“And to you,” Cas whispered back.


	15. Angel Eyes

Christmas Day was wonderful. And awful. Dean woke next to Cas, tucked together in a bed that was blessedly too small for two grown men. The smell of coffee downstairs called to him and awakened his stomach.

Wanting to go downstairs and find out what delicious breakfast Mary was whipping up, Dean pulled Cas closer and began kissing his neck to wake him.

Cas hummed into Dean, content and warm.

“I’m hungry” Dean complained.

“I smell coffee” replied Cas.

“We should go down. I guarantee there’s something delicious being made.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Cas chuckled as he swung his legs over the side of the bed.

They threw on some clothes and headed downstairs. Dean stopped in the bathroom to take a leak and when he came out, Cas went in. When they ambled into the kitchen Mary was puttering around and sipping on coffee.

“Wow mom, you’re working on breakfast and lunch at the same time?”

“Well,” she responded smiling, “I bought a turkey that was far bigger than we needed. Now I’ve had to get up early just to put it in the oven… jokes on me.” She giggled softly.

Dean watched her carefully. He wondered how difficult this day was for her. It was her first Christmas without John in decades. What did she need? What could he do for her?

Dean wasn’t really sure. But he moved to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into a hug and wished her a Merry Christmas. He didn’t say more, but he felt that his lingering hug gave her an indication that he understood the day would be challenging and that he wanted to be there for her.

When she began pulling away, she patted his back as their hug broke. He interpreted that to mean that she understood all that he wasn’t saying. He watched her move past him and give Cas a hug too. It was shorter and less weighted but warm none-the-less.

His eyes followed her as she moved to the cupboard and pulled out mugs for them, gesturing to the coffee maker where cream and sugar were already set up. As they fixed their coffee’s she moved to the oven and pulled out a pan of muffins. Then, leaving them on the counter she slid the giant turkey into the oven and set a timer.

They both pulled up a stool and watched her knock about the kitchen. Cas leaned into Dean when she was out of earshot and asked if he should put on some Christmas Music. Dean smiled and gave a nod.

Cas was always thinking about things like that. The lighting in a room and the music… things Dean never thought of. Perhaps his man just knew how to set a mood. Or maybe, he was just more in tuned to how everyone around him was feeling. Dean wasn’t sure. But Cas always seemed to know when it was too dark or too bright, too loud or too quiet and he instinctively seemed to know what type of music to play to enhance a feeling or suit a mood.

It was something that Dean hadn’t paid any attention to before Cas, but had now become used to. He made a mental note not to let that be something that he ended up taking for granted… the fact that Cas always had his mind on making everyone around him more comfortable.

As Dean was thinking and Mary was moving from task to task, Cas had pulled out his phone and started playing Bing Crosby on it. He then moved to a shelf, taking down an empty vase that was clearly set out for decoration. Dean watched Cas turn it on its side and place his phone in it on the counter. Instantly the music volume and quality was improved and spread through the kitchen.

Mary began singing along as she moved from task to task.  It didn’t take too long for her to have the muffins on a platter and eggs into a pan. “How do you like your eggs Cas?”

“Over easy, please” he responded. Dean began pulling plates from the cupboard and Cas followed suit, helping set the table.

“How ‘bout you honey?” she asked Dean.

“I’ll have the same please.”

He watched her dropping sausage patties into the pan, and took his phone out. He knew what he needed to do to make or break this day for his mother. Hoping that no one would notice what he was doing and ask about it, Dean began texting in his lap.

“Sam I know you don’t want to see me. But mom NEEDS to see you. Cas and I will be gone by 7:00. Come any time after that. Don’t you dare skip out on her first Christmas without Dad.”

Dean hit send and then moved to the refrigerator, pulling out milk and juice to bring to the table. When they sat down to eat, Mary asked what time Anna and Michael would be coming.

“After Church,” said Cas. “They’ll probably get here between 11:30 and Noon.”

“That’s perfect.” She smiled.

They enjoyed their breakfast and then they helped her clean up. Dean watched his phone for any kind of response from Sam but none came and he tried not to let it dampen his spirit. After breakfast, they stayed in the kitchen baking a batch of cut out cookies and decorating them. It may have just been busy work to keep her boys busy while she peeled and cut potatoes and green beans and assembled all the trimmings for their holiday meal, but it was enjoyable just the same.

When Anna and Michael arrived the table had already been set and the five of them settled in to a lovely meal. Since they’d eaten together the night before, they were much more comfortable with each other. But really, it was Anna who made the experience a positive one. She was incredibly adept at moving along the conversation and keeping everyone involved. It seemed to come easily for her. Probably because the table was divided between her two loves – her brother and his people and her lover. She knew them all well and managed to bring their worlds a little closer together with charming stories that enveloped them all with warm fuzzy feelings of the holidays of their youth and funny stories that kept everyone laughing and enjoying the day.

When dinner was finished, Anna went with Mary to clean up the kitchen and encouraged the boys to relax in front of the TV. Eventually the ladies had rejoined them in the living room and they began opening gifts.

Cas looked around the room, watching them all and realizing that he and Dean each had two people that loved them unconditionally. Dean had Mary and Cas had Anna. And they each had each other. He realized that this was his new family and how lucky he was to have them in his life. Michael’s presence wasn’t as intolerable as he’d once imagined it to be and for Anna he was willing to endure far worse. He hoped that Sam would one day take his place in this room because Dean wouldn’t really be whole until that happened. But for now, this was enough.

Later, when they were saying their good-bye’s in the driveway, Dean checked his phone again. Still nothing from Sam. _You fucker_ – thought Dean angrily – _you better not let this day end without seeing mom._

Sam was watching Ruby move around his kitchenette. She was artfully making pancakes in holiday shapes and frying bacon. She looked incredible, even now. No shower yet, rumbled from bed and wearing nothing but one of his ratty t-shirts.

Last night had been incredible. The last few weeks had been incredible. Finals were over now and they’d planned a nice holiday break for themselves.

Sam had never done better on his exams. Probably because he’d never studied with Ruby before. He’d abandoned all his regular study groups in favor of being here, in his apartment, studying with her as his only partner.

Sam smiled just thinking of how she’d prepped him for the final in his Constitutional Law class. He’d been bent over the kitchen table, with his hands tied behind his back. She’d removed his cage, which he’d been wearing for days, and told him he was free to get hard as he pleased. However, tied down to the table and bound as he was – there was no way to touch himself.

She’d spent hours walking circles around the kitchen table and holding his book or notes in her hands and drilling him with questions. She’d been an eyeful of delicious too… high heeled shoes and fishnets, tiny little skirt and blouse… naughty lingerie underneath soon making their appearance… hot. So fucking hot.

When he got the answers correct… she’d found ever more pleasing ways of rewarding him.  Initially, it had been as simple as just getting to choose what item of clothing she took off next. Then, as they’d progressed he was allowed to choose things to do to her. He couldn’t touch, obviously, but the choices were endless and she’d do exactly what he asked as his reward. He’d had her put on nipple clamps, finger herself, insert things… and sometimes he’d just ask to be surprised. Some of the most pleasing things she did, were things he’d have NEVER thought to ask for.

Study sessions with Ruby were both intense and satisfying. When studying for his Contracts course she’d been even more creative. She’d given him no choices about his rewards. He’d simply been tied to the bed, face down and blindfolded.

The sight deprivation had actually helped him focus on his answers. He found he was able to create associations for the information more easily this way because the pictures he saw behind his eyelids were so much more vivid than if he’d simply been sitting in the library or the common room of someone’s dorm.

He’d also been left only with his non-visual senses for pleasure. So as she carefully crafted better and better things to feel, he found himself being proud of his progress and requiring much less time to retain the information than with regular studying.

This was also the first time that he’d really enjoyed having anything stuffed in his ass. He’d always enjoyed the addition of a well-timed finger during blowjobs and sex. But Ruby took that to an entirely new level. She’d pressed her face between his cheeks when he’d answered correctly and tongued him teasingly again and again and again. The few moments of ecstasy he’d receive from her swirling and thrusting tongue for each correct answer built him towards climax in a most satisfying way. And, having to stop and think for answers in between her tongue assaults kept him calming and building in succession and making it possible to stay hard and wanting for a very long time.

As the clock ticked by, she’d become more forceful and he loved the enthusiasm with which she worked him over. Soon he was begging for more and she gave it to him.

Blindfolded, he had no idea what she was putting up there. But it was incredibly satisfying to be stretched wider and wider by her firm fingers and her choices of several objects from around the house. He couldn’t remember a time when his dick had swelled so large or throbbed so hard as it had then. She’d continually told him how much it excited her to watch things disappearing into his needy hole and he loved that she loved their dirty little games.

In all his years of pre-law and now law school itself, he’d never once looked forward to studying to take his bar exam. Until now.

He smiled at her as she laid a cutie-pie pancake in the shape of a Christmas tree on his plate. They’d had a discussion weeks ago about what to do with themselves over the winter break. She’d had no interest in going home to her family for the holiday even if she’d had the money to do it. And Sam? He was less interested in facing his family now than he’d ever been.

He’d not attended a board meeting at all since the day Dean had been fired. He’d had no contact with anyone from the office. Emails and phone calls were ignored completely and he didn’t give a shit about the decisions that were being made. Honestly, he never wanted to see that place again.

The loss of his mother and brother from his day to day life was a constant source of agony for him, but he found the pain of their loss to be easier to tolerate than the alternative… asking their forgiveness and watching his brother deny it and his mother grant it out of maternal love even though she hated him for what he’d done. He knew that his actions were simply not forgivable. Now he just had to learn to live with the consequences of what he’d done.

Ruby had helped him see that too; that the consequences for his actions would always stay with him. That’s why it’s so important to be clear about the decisions they were making and what effects those decisions would have on themselves and others.

She’d taught him to always be cognizant of the impacts of his actions and be prepared to live with them before making his decisions final. It was good advice for him considering how inept he’d been feeling since his brothers firing and how fearful he’d been about ruining people’s lives as an attorney.

She had him feeling stronger now. More ready to consider problems, weigh their consequences and make solid decisions.

He considered what he was learning in school and what he’d learned from her. It was as though there had been a great chasm before him that he’d been fearful to cross and she’d helped lay the foundation and build a bridge over it. She gave him the tools and confidence to do what he needed to and then rewarded him when he did it well. He trusted her implicitly.

When they’d discussed how to spend the holiday, staying on campus had been an easy decision. Neither wanted to go home and they knew that during the break, the campus would be quiet with most of the students gone. There would be no lines for coffee – plenty of empty tables in the restaurants and no crowds anywhere they chose to go. It sounded restful, like a break should be. No family stress, no loud bustling crowds and just the two of them doing whatever they felt like.

However, in gratitude for all she’d done to help him, Sam found himself wanting to do something for Ruby. He wanted to give her something. Not a monetary gift… no pricey jewelry or knick-knacks. She had an aversion to those things and he understood that. No. He wanted to give her an experience. Like she was always giving him.

So, he’d snuck behind her back and booked them on a cruise to the Mexican Rivera. They’d be departing the day after Christmas. They’d previously agreed to buy only one gift for each other and spend $20 or less. When she’d suggested it, she’d meant for it to be an exercise in creativity… he could tell.

His small package for her was under the tree now, as was hers for him. He had no idea what she may have gotten him. But in his neatly wrapped package was a red string bikini that he’d picked up… literally at Wal-Mart. It had been $18, bringing him in under budget. His plan was to tell her about the trip when she opened the box and saw her bikini.

He couldn’t wait to see her face when she recognized that she’d soon be wearing that bikini on a beautiful white sand beach. She’d likely never seen the incredible turquoise waters of the beaches near Cozumel. But she was about to. He smiled looking across the table at her and delighted that they’d soon be opening their gifts.

It was that exact moment that he’d gotten a text from Dean. The first communication from his brother since that fateful day at Winchester Law. Sam’s hands shook as he touched the icon to retrieve the message.

“Sam. I know you don’t want to see me. But mom NEEDS to see you. Cas and I will be gone by 7:00. Come any time after that. Don’t you dare skip out on her first Christmas without Dad.”

Despite the aggressive tone of the message, and his brother’s assertion that Sam didn’t want to see him – which was completely misguided, Sam found his heart pounding. This was an olive branch. And it held good news.

Clearly Dean was in his mother’s presence at this moment and could see that she wanted to see Sam. Undoubtedly she was still angry with him and confused by his actions. But she wanted to see him. It was a Christmas miracle!

Sam’s heart raced at the thought of seeing her. He glanced up at Ruby with wet eyes and told her the news. She was thrilled for him. He asked her to go along.

“Sam, I’d love to go with you. It means a lot to me that you want me there. But for your mom’s sake, it’s probably better if I’m not there. Don’t you think?”

“Ruby, I can’t do it without you. I’m not strong enough. It’s going to be so hard… I need you there.”

“Ok Sam, I’ll be there.” She smiled.

“Awesome!” he grinned, “Now how long are you going to make me wait to open my present?”

 

 

 

Back at Cas’ condo, the boys made two trips up the elevator bringing up all their goodies. There was left over food and treats that Mary had sent back with them. There were also all the gifts they’d opened and their bags. As they moved about, putting things away, Cas noticed Deans mood shifting.

Cas didn’t want to bring it up in conversation. There was no need to ask Dean what was wrong. He knew. He also knew that Dean wouldn’t want to talk about it. The subject of Sam was a very, very sore one. Distraction would be the name of the game tonight. And Cas had an idea.

Balthazar always had a Christmas Party at his flat. It was notorious. The holiday decorations and food were always over the top, but that was the only thing that linked this party to the religious celebration that Christmas was meant to be. The party itself was wild.

Cas had a lot of friends that would be going… some of whom Dean hadn’t yet met. They could ride over there for a while, have some drinks and say hi to a few people. They’d spend just enough time there to get Dean out of his headspace and then they could come home (or stay as long as Dean wanted to).

Cas pulled out his phone and texted Balthazar.

“Christmas Party tonight?”

The response was immediate: “Yes, Cassie please come!”

“Would you still want me there if I was bringing another man?”

Again, the answer was immediate: “yes”.

And then followed up with a joke (half-truth admission on Zar’s part): “I can join you as a third”

Cas chuckled. Another message followed immediately: “or fourth? Up to you Cassie”

Cas couldn’t help laugh at the man’s antics. He walked to the bedroom where Dean was emptying their duffle bags. “Want to go to a party?”

“Always!” smiled Dean who was clearly happy to be offered an alternative to a quiet evening of dwelling on Sam.

“Where is this party?” asked Dean.

“At the home of my ex-boyfriend slash coke dealer,” chuckled Cas, “but this party is legendary. You’ll have fun and some of my friends that you’ve met will likely be there.”

Dean paused, thinking. “Yeah, ok.” He smiled, “how do I dress?”

“Smartly.” Smiled Cas.

 

 

 

Ruby had begged Sam for a shower before they opened gifts and now, as she went to her knees for him, he was glad he had obliged her. It was so sensual watching the water rolling down her back as she took him into her mouth. He watched intently as his heavy cock disappeared slowly and smoothly between her full lips. She was moaning already and his stomach clenched as she sucked hard on the upstroke, literally pulling his body closer to hers with the suction of her mouth.

Head from Ruby was amazing. She rocked his body in the shower, clenching her hands into the meat of his ass, spreading his cheeks wide and teasing at the soft puckered skin that gathered there.

His arms shot out to brace himself against the tile walls and he cried out in pleasure as she pulled him in, impossibly deeper. When he watched her, he saw her perfect mouth swallowing him down and below that, her perfectly formed breasts, glistening and wet. Her nipples were hard like pebbles trapped under taught skin.

He cried out again as he felt her throat on the head of his cock. He felt it again and again as she used her arms to pull him into a rhythm and fuck her mouth obscenely. He was going to lose his mind way to fast. It was almost embarrassing how fast she could wring an orgasm out of him this way. He tipped his head back and clenched his eyes shut, trying to force himself to hang on a bit longer, trying to not come too soon. But even behind his eyelids, the vivid picture of his sexual goddess danced teasingly for him and he came.

With his arms bracing him against the walls, he thrust forward one last time and felt himself empty down her throat. He had no coherent thoughts for a few minutes. When he came back to himself, she was standing again. Her soft, soapy hands were massaging his genitals; washing him. He tipped his head and kissed her sweetly. She was the only woman he’d ever been with whose presence was so strong that no fantasies of any other women ever came into his head while he was getting off.

When they’d toweled off and gotten dressed they’d settled on the floor near the tree. She was smiling now as she handed him her gift and accepted hers.

Her excitement was palpable. He could see she was every bit as eager to give him her gift as he was to give hers. “Open it!” she prompted him, unable to contain herself.

He looked at the small box in his hands. It was wrapped in newspaper and tied with a single red ribbon. He tore the newsprint off and found himself holding a plain white gift box. When he pulled the lid and dug into the tissue paper he came out with a watch. He smiled immediately, not wanting her to feel he didn’t like his gift. But his mind was already battling with the scenario of having to actually wear a $20 watch.

As he turned it in his hands, his jaw dropped open. It was beautiful. Tasteful. It was a Rolex. The face was pearlescent and the band was leather. Its design was simple and understated. It was a classic. “Ruby, I don’t understand…” he began.

“Do you like it?” she asked.

“I love it… I… I don’t understand. We said $20 gifts…” he looked at her now, for the first time. She was smiling widely at him and her dark eyes were dancing with excitement.

“I know. I found it in Alameda. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was! The old lady had a ton of old costume jewelry out… she clearly hadn’t noticed what brand this watch was… I got it for $12.”

“Of course it had to be cleaned,” she went on, “Ad the band needed to be replaced. The band technically put me over budget. But damn – how could I pass? Right? I could actually picture you wearing it! I’ve been dying to watch you open it!”

 “Oh Ruby, it’s incredible!” he smiled as he hugged her. He slipped it on his wrist and it looked like it belonged there.

“At the shop where I had it cleaned, the man told me it was from the 1920’s. It’s an antique.”

“It’s beautiful, Ruby, just like you.” He said softly, pulling her in for a hug. He stared at his wrist for a moment, numb. Then his excitement returned to him. He looked over at her, a huge grin spreading across his face. “Open yours!”

 

 

 

When they parked on Zar’s block and started walking, Dean touched Cas’ elbow and asked, “How long since you broke it off with this guy?”

“Actually,” said Cas, “It wasn’t too long before I met you.”

“Really? Were you still feeling for him when you met me?”

“Why are you asking?”

“Just curious I guess.”

“I still feel for him now.” Said Cas honestly. “It’s different though. I like him more when he’s not around,” he said laughing. “The man is…” Cas paused reaching for the door, “difficult.”

“How so?” asked Dean.

“You’ll see.” Cas answered with a smile.

They headed over to the elevator where a few people were already waiting. They exchanged greetings and when the doors opened on Zar’s floor, they all got out together and made a light joke about heading to the same place.

When the door to Zar’s flat swung open, Dean gaped at the scene. It was reminiscent of some of Pam’s wilder parties. But it was very upscale in comparison. This place was obviously the home of a true-form San Francisco gay man. Nestled in an enviable position on its block in the heart of the Castro district it was both stylish and functional in decoration. It was clearly the culmination of much thought towards design and the art collection was enviable. Dean wasn’t an art connoisseur but he could tell from twenty paces that these walls boasted some enviable pieces.

They moved through the doorway and headed into the room and they were immediately greeted by a charismatic and handsome older man. He was dressed impeccably and leaned in to give Cas a hug that lasted a few moments to long. Dean immediately postured himself commandingly and stepped forward. When the men pulled apart, Cas was smiling good-naturedly and he put his arm around the man’s shoulders to point him towards Dean.

“Balthazar, this is Dean Winchester,” Cas said warmly, “Dean, this is Zar.”

“Happy Christmas to you and yours Dean, it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

Dean looked out at the hand being extended to him for a moment before taking it and shaking firmly. He wasn’t expecting the British accent which, unfortunately, increased the man’s attractiveness tenfold. He also wasn’t expecting him to be so friendly, flirty and yet somehow aloof at the same time.

As they chatted, Zar moved them easily through the crowd and over to the bar. Dean found the man’s carriage and demeanor quite intimidating. He was suave and debonair. He was a gentlemen in every sense of the word. As he moved through the room, both men and women noticed him and vied for his attention. Dean was plagued by a troubling thought. _Cas went from this to me?_

Mary was sitting on the couch and watching ‘A Christmas Story.’ It was funny and sweet and charming and she’d always loved it. One of the networks played it on a loop the entire day. Once her guests had left, she’d gone and changed into her flannel pajamas and cuddled onto the sofa to watch it with a cup of tea and some left over cookies. It hadn’t bothered her in the least to start watching it near the end. She was just starting to doze off when the doorbell rang.

 _Who would that be on Christmas night?_ –she wondered to herself.

As she clicked on the front porch light and looked out, she sucked in a deep breath and yanked the door open. Sam had someone with him but she didn’t care. She launched herself out the door and into his arms. It was hard to hold back tears. She couldn’t remember having ever gone so long without seeing one of her boys.

Sam hugged her back too. Firmly. Neither of them wanted to separate. But eventually, Sam did step back. He had to wipe his wet eyes on his jacket sleeves and Mary laughed as she did the same on the sleeves of her robe.

She pulled him into the house and turned on the lights in the entry and took his coat. She looked at Ruby and reached out for her coat as well. Sam pulled it off her shoulders like a gentleman would and handed it to his mother to hang.

“Mom,” said Sam, still a little choked up, “This is Ruby Cortese. Ruby, this is my mother Mary Winchester.”

“Call me Mary,” she said extending her hand to Ruby.

Ruby took it politely and told her she had a lovely home.

They moved to the living room where she muted the TV and offered them tea. She brought it out for them and sat down in the recliner next to their seat on the sofa. She looked Sam square in the eye and told him she was very happy to see him. He returned her sentiment. She asked how Sam and Ruby had met and he told her that she’d been working in the billing office and he’d asked her out several times and even sent flowers before she finally said yes. They all chuckled and he went on to tell his mom that Ruby was also at Stanford Law and had been helping him study for finals and that they were enjoying the holiday.

Mary asked all the appropriate questions about Ruby’s family and childhood and future plans. The group chatted for about twenty minutes before Mary set down her cup.

“You’ve just missed your brother by an hour. Too bad you didn’t stop by sooner.” She said pointedly.

Sam looked at his shoes. Ruby squeezed his arm. He looked to her and then back at his mother with a new resolve on his face. “I just can’t mom. I’m sorry. I know you want me to. But I just, I can’t.”

She gave him a nod. He could see that she wasn’t happy with his answer, but she was going to accept it.  The room got very quiet then.

“I’m sorry,” said Mary, “I’m just no good at the small talk with everything else that’s going on.”

“That’s ok mom, we have to go anyway. I just…” his voice trailed off as they all got to their feet. Ruby squeezed him again and he found his voice, “I just couldn’t let the day go without seeing you.”

“I’m glad you came Sam. I love you and I’ve missed you. You come whenever you can, ok? When you’re ready.”

“Thank you, mom.” He said reaching forward to hug her again. She followed the two to the door and got their coats from the closet. She watched her son help his lady-friend into her coat and open the door for her. Her eyes didn’t miss the way they handled each other.

As they walked down the steps to Sam’s car, she wished them a Merry Christmas and then stood in the doorway watching them go. When they were pulling out, they looked back at her and waved. She smiled and waved back.

She carried their dishes to the kitchen and returned to the sofa, cuddling under the throw blanket and taking the television off mute. She chuckled to herself as she became engrossed in her movie again. There were several young boys in winter coats and hats clustered around a metal pole in a snowy school yard. They were daring each other to lick the frozen pole and see if their tongues would stick to it.

“Go on,” said a taunting boy, “I triple dog dare you!”

With a noticeable hesitation the young boy took the dare and touched his tongue to the pole. It froze there. As the boy started screaming and flailing, the recess whistle blew and his friends all deserted him to go into the building. Mary started laughing. She had always loved his movie, she laughed though the next few scenes while tears streaked down her face. She didn’t want to cry over Sam. She wanted to retain the light and joyous heart she’d had when she saw his face in the porchlight. She forced herself to ignore the tears and focus on the joy. She continued laughing at the movies many funny moments. Soon, she was getting drowsy, but rather than trudge up to her big empty bed, she simply hunkered down on the couch with her blanket and let herself fall asleep there.

 

 

 

Dean was surprised by how many people Cas knew at the party. Then he remembered why. Cas had spent a lot of time here. Dean was surprised to see Cas’ friends Nikki and Jenni. He’d met them the night that Sam had stolen Amelia from Aaron.

They chatted with him for quite a while and supplied some excellent stories about Cas that would be useful ammunition down the road. The girls kept him laughing until they inquired about his “tall, dark and handsome brother.” It tugged his heart a little to be honest with the girls and tell them that he wasn’t on speaking terms with his brother right now. Thankfully both had the tact not to ask him why. They’d simply said they were sorry to hear it and then listened intently while he told them about the trip he and Cas had taken recently.

They mentioned that they’d seen a piece on the news about Cas leaving the country but hadn’t thought it was like him to skip out like that. It felt good to tell someone outside of their small inner circle what had really happened… that it had all been a split second decision to go see monkeys. They all shared a laugh at that.

Sooner than later, there were guys sniffing around. These two girls were way too hot to expect to be left alone for too long and soon they were moving out to dance. Dean distanced himself quickly to avoid any chance of being hassled into dancing.

Dean also spent some time with Cas’ friend Gabe from soccer who was here with his hot girlfriend Robin. As the three of them were talking, Balthazar stepped up with a man he’d apparently wanted to introduce to Dean. 

“Dean Winchester, I’d like you to meet Dick Roman.” Dean extended his hand and shook with a smile. “Dick is the head of marketing for Ammunition Design Group, out of SF.”

“Nice to meet you Roman,” said Dean looking over the man’s shoulder to watch Cas across the room. Cas was easy to watch as he cut through the crowd, dishing out handshakes and hellos with that sexy smile and easy way he had. Dean caught himself smiling and had to remind himself to put his attention back on the man in front of him. Roman asked him about his time at his dads company and commented on how liberating it must be to strike out on his own.

As their conversation continued, Dean realized he needed to make an exit. This guy was pitching him on coming to work for his company. Not that Dean didn’t need a job… but honestly, this guy gave him the creeps. The full-body-shiver creeps.

By design or lucky coincidence, it Cas appeared and begged to steal Dean away to meet someone. Roman shook his hand again and then turned back into the crowd. Cas took Dean across the room but as they were moving he admitted there was no one to meet.

“I just saw you looking uncomfortable and figured you needed an out.”

“Thanks. Dude was fuckin’ creepy.” Said Dean.

“Never met him. Who was it?”

“Dick Roman?”

“I think I’ve heard the name. Couldn’t tell you what he does.” Said Cas offhandedly.

“Head of marketing for some design group.”

“Who cares.” Said Cas flatly. “Wanna burn one?”

“Always.” Dean chuckled.

Cas grabbed Gabe and Robin on the way by and they all moved out to the balcony. It was a large space with a lovely view of the neighboring parking garage. _At least the man doesn’t have everything_ – thought Dean snidely.

The balcony was large and several groups of people were already out here. Some were sitting around a large table and a few were clustered near the rail. Cas and Dean moved to the corner where the railing met the wall. They lit up and passed the joint around their little circle. Gabe kept them in stitches the entire time and when they were finished, they unanimously decided to head inside and hit the food table now that they had the munchies.

They filled plates and settled into a scattering of stools at the bar that separated the kitchen from the dining room. The kitchen was a flurry of activity – the caterers were running around like chickens with their heads cut off and yelling at each other.

Dean, Cas, Gabe and Robin put their backs to the kitchen and faced the party. It was fun to simply eat and listen to Gabe’s running commentary about the people who were dancing. Twice Dean had to cover his mouth to keep from blowing food out in laughter. Eventually Robin peeled Gabe from his seat and teased him out among the dancers.

“Cas, I think Gabe is my favorite friend of yours.”

“Yeah?”

“Definitely.”

The men watched the room and finished their plates. The party had swollen since they’d arrived and was getting fairly wild. Suddenly a clown burst through the door with a huge bouquet of red and green balloons. A roar went up from the crowd. The clown was quite animated and pushed out onto the dancefloor. Rather than parting for the clown to pass through… people surrounded him and he began giving out balloons to people.

Cas grabbed Deans elbow.  “We want one of those balloons Dean… c’mon!”

“Are you frickin kidding?”

“No, come on! Before he runs out!”

They pushed through the crowd like a couple of kids. When they got near the clown it gestured wildly for Cas to come over. The clown mimed for Cas to give him a kiss on the cheek. Cas was red faced as the crowd clapped and yelled for him to do it.

He finally grabbed the clown by one ear and tugged in into a healthy kiss on the cheek. The clown jumped up and down for joy and then handed Cas two balloons. Cas came back to Deans side and they watched as the clown continued around the room giving out balloons to people and creating a raucous.

“What’s in the balloons Cas?” asked Dean.

“Nitrous.”

“What?”

“Laughing Gas. Same shit they give you at the dentist office. You’ve never had this?”

“No. Not even at the dentist.”

“Well then, you’re going to want to sit down. Come on!” Cas was tugging his arm again. The crowd was entirely focused on the clown and his performance so there were seats available everywhere now.  They flopped down onto the end of the couch together. The balloons were on long thin plastic straws and Dean watched as Cas tucked one in between himself and the couch cushion and then undid the clamp on the balloon he was holding. “Take a hit,” said Cas loudly over the music, “then hold it in.”

Dean looked at him questioningly. Cas further encouraged him, “You’ll like it. It’s intense but it doesn’t last long.” Dean nodded and Cas held out the balloon for him. He took it, squeezing the opening shut like Cas had. He put it to his lips and held firmly, moving his thumb just enough to allow the contents of the balloon to seep out into his mouth. It tasted like rubber with a sickly sweet aftertaste. He held it in for about 30 seconds and looked to Cas because nothing was happening. Cas simply took the balloon from him and smiled. A few more seconds passed and then boom… he had to fling his head back and laugh out loud as the sensation of happiness overtook him. He felt the sounds around him distort and he couldn’t keep his eyes open. Behind his eyelids he saw dancing colors and shapes. Just when he started to feel overwhelmed, the feeling started to subside. Within a few moments he was normal again and looking around.

There were a few people around them sitting but most everyone else was up and dancing, holding their balloons and taking hits from them. The lights had been dimmed. The place was looking more like a rave and less like an upscale party. His eyes wandered back to Cas who was looking straight at him with the widest grin he’d ever seen. He looked like the big bad wolf. That grin was positively feral. Dean felt his dick respond in his pants.

Cas held out the balloon and Dean hit again. This time, he didn’t hold back. Again, he found himself over taken by a rush of good feelings… the hardest full body buzz he’d ever felt… and the urge to smile and laugh with it as the waves of it pulsed over him. He handed the balloon back to Cas and dropped his head again – riding the vibrations that came in waves. He was beyond speech. Soon it subsided and was gone too quickly.

When he looked back at Cas he saw they were already on the second balloon having emptied the first. Dean took his turn and this time, instead of closing his eyes, he watched Cas. It was fun. Their eyes locked – it was as if they were daring each other to look away – like a staring contest.

Cas was the first to break. He giggled loudly and folded up into the couch cushions. Dean loved hearing Cas giggle – he’d been with Cas for well over a year now and could only remember having heard the noise twice. But it was so infectious. Dean was unable to hold back and soon they were both laughing like a couple of kids.

When their second balloon was empty, Dean turned his attention back to the clown. He only had a few balloons left and was making the ladies show their tits to get one.

Dean gestured towards the clown, “That’s a man after my own heart,” he said. What company do you call to hire a clown to distribute laughing gas for you?”

“Um…” said Cas, still laughing intermittently, “I’m pretty sure there’s no companies for that.”

They were both watching the clown now who was down to his last balloon. There were several girls lifting their shirts and showing their tits to try and entice the last balloon away from the clown. Suddenly a man burst into the picture – shoving his way between two girls. He made a show out of dancing to the music and unzipping his pants… and then he fully showed his dick.

The crowd went wild and the man walked away the last balloon as the clown pretended to faint. Dean found himself smiling as he watched, and was then suddenly stunned when the clown pulled of its mask. It was Balthazar!

“Cas… did you know?”

“Of course… he does this every year.”

“So you knew exactly who you were pimping yourself out to when you kissed him so you could get us a balloon?”

“Yeah. I assumed that you knew too.”

“Nope. But now that I know you’ll pimp yourself for me if I ever wanna get high… I think I’m ready for a real commitment.” Dean teased him.

Just then, Zar dropped in on them, leaning over the back of the couch. “You two birds having a lovely time then?”

Dean looked to Cas who was giving his ex a big smile. “Zar, your party gets better every year.”

Zar looked at Dean, “Tell me you’re not sore that I snitched a kiss from your date!”

Dean tried to keep his jealousy hidden and be witty and fun for Cas’ sake, “Yeah man, He wanted a balloon bad… I’m just glad he didn’t have to show his junk for it!”

The three men all laughed and then Zar was off again. Cas looked around the room before his eyes settled on Dean. “You want another drink? Or are you ready to call it a night?”

“Let’s call it.” Said Dean with a smile, “You have anyone you want to say good night to before we go?”

“Hell no. Everyone’s so fucked up… they’re not going to remember anyway.”

As they walked to the car, Cas noticed Dean was quiet. The temperature had dropped significantly while they were in the party and Dean cupped his hands to his mouth and blew into them as he walked. “Thanks for coming with me,” Cas ventured.

“Sure. It was a good time.” They walked silently for a moment and then as they were sliding into the car he added, “Your ex is a real trip.”

Cas didn’t say anything, simply because he wasn’t sure how those words were meant to be taken.

“Now I see why you only play that British music when I’m not around.  It’s his, right?”

“No,” said Cas honestly, “I guess I just figured it wasn’t really your taste.” Said Cas quietly, hoping this didn’t turn into a thing.

“How is it not my taste?” Dean teased, “Heavy guitar… overtly sexual lyrics… it’s practically KISS.”

Cas laughed out loud, sensing now that he had nothing to fear from Deans mood, “Did you seriously just compare the Fratellis and Arctic Monkeys to KISS??”

“Think I did Cas.” Said Dean with a satisfied smile on his face; happy to have gotten a rise out of Cas.

Dean’s smile stayed in place, but he chose his next words very carefully. “Cas, now that I’ve met your ex I have to wonder about you and me.”

Dean saw Cas stiffen. “What about us, Dean?”

“Well, I’m so different from him… compared to that man I’m a ball-scratching neanderthal… a mouth-breathing knuckle dragger” he said it with a joking tone and Cas laughed along with him, knowing he was meant to.

“Cas are you sure you can be happy with someone like me?”

Cas reached out and laid a hand on Deans thigh. “Dean, I can’t be happy with anyone BUT you.”

They both took a deep breath. Cas leaned in and turned on the radio. He began to roll through stations.

“Wait…” said Dean, “Go back”

Cas did.

“Yeah, right there…” he said.

“This?” asked Cas incredulously.

“Yeah. This. The Jeff Healey Band.”

Cas listened for a moment. He could vaguely remember the song. Perhaps his elementary school or early prep school years? He wasn’t sure. But Dean began singing along and Cas loved it immediately…

_Well, I’m the guy who never learned to dance,_

_Who never even got one second glance,_

_Across a crowded room was close enough –_

_I could look but I could never touch!_

_So tonight I’ll ask the stars above, how did I ever win your love?_

_What did I do? What did I say? To turn your Angel eyes my way?_

 

Dean was singing along now, and at some point his hand had settled on top of Cas’ hand which was still resting on Deans thigh. Cas felt like Dean was singing straight to him.

 

Shortly after the holidays, Dean put his condo on the market. He and Cas spent days over at his place choosing what things would be moved to Cas’ condo, what things would go into storage and what would be given away.

Their biggest time investment went into the little things that you don’t think much about. Photos, posters, framed art and sentimental items. Dean had boxes in the bottom of his closet that he hadn’t opened since he moved in. They went through these boxes thoroughly because ‘hey – we’ve got time’ they’d joked.

Cas poured over Deans trophies and ribbons and year books as if they were buried treasure. When it came to the sentimental stuff, Cas encouraged him to keep most everything. He packed the items away in plastic totes rather than boxes and Mary came with her SUV so the boys could make fewer trips when transporting it all to her basement which was to be its new home. The realtor had been very specific about leaving the place completely empty so she could ‘stage it’.

They selected a few items that would be moved to Cas’ condo but in the end there was relatively little of Deans stuff that they’d be keeping. Dean couldn’t even bring himself to feel bad about it. He liked most of Cas’ stuff better than his own anyway. When they’d taken what they wanted they had Goodwill come in and remove the remaining contents of the condo. Then they’d saved a few bucks by cleaning it themselves.

They’d begun doing a lot of things to save money. They cut the amount of weed they were buying in half. They weren’t using as much these days anyway. They’d cut their bills tremendously by settling into one condo. Now there was only one light bill, one heat bill, one cable bill, one property tax bill.

Dean had taken the remainder of his savings and moved it to checking right after the holidays. Then he’d done some very basic math and divided his available amount by the four months remaining until he’d be getting a dividend check. He’d had to take a deep breath when he’d seen the number. It would be tight.

Cutting out indulgences was difficult, but it was also a lesson for both men as to how lucky they’d really been up until now.

Anna had been right when she pointed out that over a billion people on this planet live on a dollar a day or less. She’d sat them down to watch a documentary about it. Dean looked at Cas when it was finished and said, “Kind of makes you feel like a douche for bitchin about giving up Starbucks, huh?”

They both knew they had nothing to complain about. They still had a very nice place to live and drove nice vehicles and had enough to cover their expenses and still have a little fun. More than anything else – they were happy and in love. Living on less for a while would be good for them so they tried to embrace it.

As winter gave way to an early spring, the boys caught a break. Dean’s condo - which was actually an enviable piece of real estate in the Lower Haight area had sold.

They’d had a few offers on it but thus far had been unable to get to closing. One set of buyers had been unable to secure their financing. Another set had backed out because they found something better. It had been frustrating. But now, they had a closing scheduled for the following morning, everything was on schedule and the buyers had met their asking price. If nothing went wrong… they’d be getting a wire transfer tomorrow for 1.6 million.

Even cutting back the way they had, they’d run out of money faster than expected. Dean had checked his account balance earlier that week and they were down to about $1600. That wasn’t much… less than $2000 between them and having to go ask Mary for money. The thought was nauseating.

They didn’t want to jinx anything the night before so they didn’t celebrate until the next day when the attorney’s office phoned to confirm the closing was complete and the funds had been transferred.

Dean ran to the laptop and checked his balance. When he saw it he yelled out to Cas that the money was in. The men whooped and hollered and jumped on the bed like little kids and then tore off their clothes and fucked like rabbits.

Afterwards, they sprawled naked on the bed, still touching a little and exchanging lazy kisses as they passed a joint back and forth.

“That was amazing Dean,” said Cas.

“Yeah. You were an animal! I’m gonna have bruises on my hips for a week. God-damn I feel good!”

“Me too,” said Cas. “If only I knew for sure that I wasn’t going to prison.”

“I already told you Cas. You’re not going anywhere. We’ve always got Honduras, right?”

Cas smiled for Dean, knowing that his man was trying to cheer him. But Dean wasn’t kidding. Let Cas think he was, but his mind was firmly made up.

If there was any chance of Cas actually going to jail, he’d leave the country with him and never look back.


	16. I Should Try It

Dean was hot and sticky. He could feel the trickle of perspiration sliding down between his shoulder blades and to the small of his back. The sun was hot, punishing and so bright that he couldn’t open his eyes fully against its glare. He kept his chin down and focused on the worn dirt path in front of him, occasionally lifting his chin just enough to track the proximity of the tree line he was approaching. He didn’t have to look around to know Cas was with him.

He moved the last few steps into sweet relief. The deep shade from the canopy of trees enveloped them as they stepped into it. He felt the cool air stir as they moved between the trees which quickly closed in close around them. Dean sucked in a deep breath of cooler air and moved deeper into sanctuary.

Without the relentless glare of the sun, the jungle teamed with life around them and was a treat for the senses. Ten thousand shades of green leaves and vines sparkled with the stray rays of dappled yellow sunshine that broke through the branches above and danced around them like pixies.

In the hot sun, there was little movement. No predator or forager was moving out there. But in here, where the shade provided a cool damp reprieve, the jungle pulsed with life.

Birds were singing and calling around them, tree creatures moved about unseen but heard as they crashed through the upper branches and the sniffing, snuffling creatures of the jungle floor scurried out of the way as their heavy footfalls pressed into the soft earth.

Approaching a large and gnarly tree trunk that was draped with thick green flowering vines, Dean leaned a shoulder into it and breathed heavily. The bark of the tree was cool and damp under his skin and he inhaled deeply while wrestling out his water bottle. Before his lips had a chance to meet cool water, a hand snaked around his waist and hot lips pressed to his gritty neck.

“Feels so good here…” said Cas against Dean’s skin. “I want to spread you out on the wet ground, strip you down and fuck you while all the animals watch us…”

Suddenly the world was very bright. The sun broke through everything. Dean sat up and looked around. He was in bed. Cas had thrown back the drapes and now the early afternoon sun was pounding into the room.

“Fuck man, close those!” bellowed Dean, rolling over and pulling the covers up around him. “I was having an awesome dream.”

“Was I there?” asked Cas, pulling the drapes back closed halfway and climbing back into bed with Dean.

“You’re always in the good ones,” he smiled as Cas glopped onto his back and began running hands over him, “but this is good too. I’ll wake up for this.”

“What was I doing in your dream Dean?”

“We were back there… remember that hike we took the day of zip lining at West Bay Beach?’

“Mhmm” mumbled Cas as he used his tongue to tickle the spot behind Deans ear that always shot straight to his dick.

“We were back there and it was so real. I could _feel_ the jungle around me… and you.”

“I remember wanting to drop down and have sex in the jungle, right out in the open, Dean. I think the jungle brings out my wild side.”

“Yeah… it did. Close your eyes and pretend you’re there now. Do dirty things to me Cas.”

“Dean, you’re talking like a man that needs to be fucked.”

“I do Cas. I need it,” he said pushing his ass backwards into Cas’ hardening cock. “Ugghh” said both men together as they found friction and pressed into it.

Cas lurched across Deans body to reach into the drawer and pull the lube out. “Cas?”

“Hmm?”

“We’ll go back there someday, right? When all of this is over and life is… normal again?”

“Definitely, I loved it there.” Said Cas softly, stilling his hand for a moment as his mind wandered back.

“And this time, lets never go into the jungle without lube!” he laughed. “Missing the chance to have that memory will haunt me for life,” laughed Dean.

Cas’ hand was moving again. He was sliding softly up and down Dean’s dick as it lengthened for him and then teasing at the tip, rubbing his thumb over the slit and then sliding back down again.

The tantalizing rhythm had Dean fucking into Cas’ hand in no time. They moaned together as Cas’ hardness pressed into Deans backside, seeking.

Dean arched his back like a slut, begging. Cas humped forward and let his newly lubed dick slide, wet and slippery up and down Deans crack as the man fucked forward into fist and then backward to dick.

“Oh Cas,” said Dean. It was so soft it was almost a moan. His arm reached behind him and wrapped around Cas’ neck – pulling the man in closer behind him. They laid like that, on their sides, Cas’ front to Deans back and moved together. Dean didn’t touch himself at all. He let Cas do it all. The man’s long fingers were wrapped around his shaft, coaxing him forward and when he pulled back he had the delicious slide of his man’s essence gliding along his crack and over his hole again and again with ever increasing pressure.

“Need it Cas. Man, I need you to fuck me.”

Cas pulled his hand off Deans cock and heaved his weight forward, rolling Dean onto his stomach on the mattress. Dean didn’t miss a beat. He continued pushing his dick forward, but was now humping into the bed instead of Cas’ hand.

With Cas on top, his hands were free to peel Deans cheeks apart, achingly slow. “C’mon Cas. Don’t tease me. Fuck me.”

“I should put a plug in you and make you wait for it you fucking slut.” Teased Cas gruffly.

“I aint waitin’ for shit today. Fuck Me Cas.”

“I’ve got you,” Cas reassured him, “You know I do.” He babbled senselessly as he began pushing into Dean’s un-prepped hole.

“Aahh!” Dean cried out in pleasure and pain as Cas pressed slowly into him, spreading him wide. It felt like Cas was splitting him open. “god-Damn your cock is HUGE!” he cried out as Cas continued to sink in.

Dean tensed like a board as Cas’ weight pressed on him and he felt Cas stop his descent.

“Don’t you dare stop!” yelled Dean, “I wanna feel it!” so Cas pressed on and they cried out together at the overwhelming sensation.

Cas looked down at his lover whose mouth was open and face red with wet eyes where tears had gathered in the corners. He would stop were it not for Dean pushing him to do more. How could you not do what your lover begged or demanded of you? How could you not give what they wanted?

So he pushed, forced himself down, entering Dean slowly and knowing that the man was enjoying riding that line between pleasure and pain. It’s a line that many people never cross, but most everyone likes to walk on once in a while.

Cas, having sunken in all the way, pushed himself up from Deans back and locked his arms. This way he could watch the muscles in Deans back work as he writhed on the bottom and fucked his dick down into the bedsheets.

Cas pulled himself back slow and then pushed in again, both men groaning together and enjoying the dirty slide as Cas moved in and out of Deans tightness.

It didn’t take long for Dean’s body to adjust to Cas and then they were moving faster, building together. Cas dropped his body so that his weight was on his elbows instead of his hands. From this new position he could fuck in deeper, shoving Dean’s weight forward on the bed. He wrapped his forearms around Dean’s shoulders, bracing him, forcing his back to arch from the pressure of Cas’ thrusts.

He felt Deans arm groping, seeking and then finding the back of his neck to pull his head in closer. Then moving again to wrap fingers into Cas’ hair and tug him down so Dean could get a mouth on him.

Dean loved the feel of Cas’ scruff. An unshaven face next to his, rough, manly. “Dean, yes – oh fuck, Dean!” Cas was loud and his deep voice was commanding, forceful, rough. Sexy.

Dean’s body was quivering from the sheer force of Cas. The man’s raw power controlling him completely; scratching an itch deep inside that Dean that he could never really understand or explain.

“More” Dean ordered, “More!” and he felt Cas pull back, driving back in with even greater force, holding him down, fucking him raw. He was so close… so close… he could feel it, just a breath away. His ears heard Cas suck in a breath, he felt the man seize and lock his body, heard him cry out.

When Dean heard his name screamed out loud, he finally came. He continued to thrust into the sheets sporadically as the reverberations of orgasm gripped him. He could feel the warm wet mess he’d made when he came and loved the way it felt on the head of his dick. Loved feeling Cas, spent and panting above him. Loved being taken by this man.

 

 

 

Sam watched Ruby striding down the beach. She looked like a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model _wished_ she looked. Pride swelled in his chest as he watched others watch her. She was his. She walked on his arm, slept in his bed, sucked on his cock. He felt like a real man with her by his side.

The sun was hot but the sand was cool on his feet as he walked to her. That was a unique feature of this type of sand… it came from coral so it didn’t soak up the heat of the sun. No matter how hard the sun beat down on them… when their shoulders were pink and lips getting chapped… their feet stayed cool in the powder soft sand. The water was beautiful and they’d been playing in it all day.

They’d spent their time on this trip outdoors as much as possible. They’d worked up an enviable tan and their hair was beginning to lighten. Each beach they visited was better than the last. It was fun traveling with Ruby. She didn’t fuss about accommodations or turn up her nose at the offerings no matter where they ate. She experienced everything as a child would… looking at things with awe and wonder and pure excitement. She was as vibrant as she was beautiful.

They’d had to tone down the sex a bit on the trip… they kept getting complaints from the neighboring cabins on the cruise ship. Other than that – the trip was a dream.

 

 

 

Dean and Cas laid in the bed together for quite a while after they’d fucked. Cas was sprawled out across the bed with his head resting in the crook of Deans arm. They’d smoked a joint which had kept them feeling lazy and content to lay tangled in the sheets with no thoughts of getting up and just talking quietly about whatever crossed their minds.

“What time is it?”

Dean stretched his neck to see the clock that hung near the closet. “Just after 3.”

“When did I start getting used to sleeping so late and laying around in the middle of the day?”

“I know. It’s been too long since I’ve had a real schedule. I’ve been unemployed for a lot longer than I expected.” Said Dean.

“Me too.” Said Cas, “I knew I wouldn’t be able to find another job in the pharmaceutical industry because of my parents. But I haven’t been able to find anything in any industry. I mean… my face being on the news probably doesn’t help. But I’ve been out of school for almost five years. I’ve worked one job in that time and I can’t provide any references from that job. Who’s going to hire me Dean? Unless it involves the cooking of french-fries… I’m unemployable.”

“Moving to another city might help. Should we start considering that?” asked Dean thoughtfully.

“I love the way you say ‘we’ now.” Smiled Cas. He was running his fingers softly up and down Dean’s forearm absentmindedly.

“Well, we are a ‘we’ aren’t we?”

“Yes. But it seems easier to think of us that way since we moved in together.”

“Yeah,” Dean huffed, “I hadn’t thought about it like that – but yeah.”

“So,” ventured Cas, “when you think of moving… is there anywhere that comes to mind first? A place you’d actually _want_ to go?”

“I don’t know, Cas. I feel like this is my home and I’m not really looking to move, just admitting that it may be necessary. When I think of places I really want to go… they’re all vacation spots, and that’s really not the point, right? I should be thinking of places to work not places to play. I suppose we should be considering places like New York or Chicago and it might be fun to live somewhere that it snows. But, it would be a stretch to say that I actually want to go live there.”

“I see.”

“Let’s get around. I’m startin to get bummed out.” Said Dean with a scowl.

“We could work on the budget if you want.”

“Oh yeah… cause that’s not a downer.”

“Well, at least we’ve got more than $1600 to work with this time, right?”

“Cas,” said Dean – reverting back to the subject of jobs, “I think we need to just admit that finding jobs isn’t going to be in the cards for us unless we sell ourselves way short.”

“Okay,” answered Cas warily, “Where are you going with this?”

“We probably need to consider making a job for ourselves. Entrepreneurship.”

“Start a business together?” asked Cas fearfully.

“Or separately. It seems a better alternative than waiting for a lucky break or favor from a friend that may never come.” Dean answered him.

“I hadn’t really thought of that. I’ve never had any desire to be the one running things.”

“Me either. But that might be the best alternative to moving if we know for sure that we’d rather not.”

“We should talk to Anna about it. She has a way of helping me see things clearly when I’m confused.”

“She gives it straight,” confirmed Dean. “Wanna call and invite her to dinner? Play some cards? We could invite mom too… make it a night?”

“Sure. I’ll give her a call.” Said Cas while he padded to the closet to get dressed. Then something unexpected caught his attention. The ‘Anna’ box was gone. In its place were three plastic tubs, much like the ones they’d used for storing Deans personal items at Mary’s place.

“Hey Dean?”

“Yeah?” said Dean from the bed.

“Did you upgrade the toy box?”

“Sure did.”

“You didn’t put your name on it like you wanted. Is that because you haven’t added anything to it yet?”

“No… I added something. I just didn’t feel a need to put my name on the box now that I live here. There’s no question in my mind about whose job it is to take of that box… it’s the job of the last man standing.” He chuckled. Then he added, “Hopefully it will be a very old man that finally throws away that box.”

Cas grinned, eyeing the box. “What did you add?”

“Dig around and see!”

Cas pulled one of the plastic totes down and carried it to the bed. He popped off the lid and looked inside. He didn’t even have to dig. There was a box right on top, unopened.

“Wow, Dean. You jump in with both feet don’t you?” laughed Cas, eyeing the box. “Which of us do you picture using this?”

“I honestly can’t picture either of us using it at all. It’s a god-damn door swing. I was mostly going for a laugh – wanted to see your face when you saw what I’d put in there. But you know… sooner or later one of us is going to get too drunk and then…”

“So you think it’s more a question of which of us will use it first” Cas laughed, covering his face with his hands. “Dammit Winchester…” he was laughing through tears now, “I’m never going to be the same now that you’ve put this in my head.” Cas was still laughing as he carried the plastic tub back to the closet.

“Dean, there’s two tubs of toys in here and an empty one. You planning on going shopping or something?”

“Nope. I just get sick of seeing toys lay on the sink while they wait to be cleaned. Empty box is for used ones until they can be washed.”

“I’m not sure that’s sanitary Dean.”

“It’s like the dishwasher Cas… you rinse them before you put them in ok?”

“Got it” said Cas with a smirk. He was quiet for a few minutes as he looked around the closet he now shared with Dean. There was significantly less space in here now. But it was wonderful. He hadn’t heard Dean step into the closet, it gave him a start when the man slid up behind him and wrapped arms around his waist.

“You’re awfully quiet. Whatcha thinkin about, Cas?”

“Ways to get you drunk so you’ll hop in the swing.” He said jokingly. They were silent for a moment. Then Dean seemed to notice they were basically just lingering in a hug. He cleared his throat and pulled away from Cas.

“You gonna call Anna about coming for dinner?”

“Yeah.” Said Cas grabbing a shirt and throwing it on.

“Ok. I’ll call mom.” He said slapping Cas on the ass playfully as he left the closet.

 

 

 

A few days later, Anna and Mary came over for dinner. Anna knew there was something the boys wanted to discuss with her but she hadn’t really been told what.

Cas and Dean worked to put together a decent dinner. They grilled steaks on the balcony and had baked potatoes in the oven. Cas made his pistachio salad. “It’s only a salad in the sense that it’s green,” he joked to the ladies, “there’s more sugar in this than in a candy bar.”

Anna clapped her hands together, enthused to enjoy the dish that she remembered her Aunt making on Easter every year.

Dean grabbed a beer from the fridge for himself and Cas and then moved to pour glasses of red wine for the ladies. The meal was good and while they ate, the boys told Anna and Mary that they were feeling like they weren’t going to be able to get jobs in the traditional sense and had considered either moving or starting a business.

Mary thought that starting a business would be the way to go. She pointed out that the economy wasn’t good anywhere and that the levels of unemployment among executives hasn’t been this high since the 1970’s. “It’s all a trick of numbers,” she said firmly, “when they tell us that unemployment is going down, it’s a lie. They’re just no longer counting those who’ve been on it so long that they no longer qualify for benefits.”

Everyone nodded. “I agree with Mary,” said Anna. “You boys moving to a new city doesn’t solve anything unless you’re sure you can find work there. And I don’t see certainty down that path. Mary’s right. The job market is a terrible place right now. What kind of business are you considering opening?”

“We’ve not given it any thought.” Said Cas. “We wanted to talk to you ladies first… see what you thought.”

“Well,” said Mary, “if you’re considering a business… you should make a list of your skills. The things you feel you excel at. Then make a list of the things you enjoy doing. When you can draw a parallel between the lists then that would indicate a strong and viable choice for a business that will be rewarding for you on a personal level.

Then, once you have a few ideas of what would be good for you, we can do some market analysis and see if that business model has a chance for success in this area’s economy.”

“I agree completely.” Said Anna.

“So, you both actually think that Cas and I starting a business is a viable idea?” said Dean incredulously.

“Yes.” Said the ladies in unison.

Dean looked at Cas – shocked.

“Why is that so surprising Dean? Your father did it. You’re no less a man than he was at your age.” Said Mary.

“I don’t know,” said Dean. Cas was smiling at him. He got a warm feeling inside knowing that the people who knew him best were not doubtful of his ability to actually start and run a business to earn his living.

After the meal, they cleared the table and played cards for a while. Anna’s phone buzzed on their second round and she glanced at it. “Michael just finished for the day,” she said looking at Cas. He looked to Dean with a question mark on his face. Dean nodded and got back to cards while Cas nodded to Anna that she was free to invite Michael to join them.

When he arrived, Dean got up and fixed him a plate with what was left over from dinner and brought it out with a beer. Michael seemed genuinely pleased to be welcome in their home, and the look he gave Dean when he was handed a plate was very much hopeful of forgiveness. Dean was surprised to find himself granting it.

To an onlooker, it was an almost imperceptible nod. Between Dean and Michael it was more.

The man was going to be part of his life now, Dean reasoned. There was no point in hanging on to old prejudices. Michael was clearly not an angel. But he wasn’t the devil they’d once considered him to be either. He was just a man. And soon he’d be part of their family.

 

 

 

When Sam and Ruby got back from their trip, they only had a day to rest up before classes would start. They stayed in bed for most of it - except for the few hours they’d spent trudging out in the cold to go to the bookstore and pick up their books and supplies for the coming semester.

The campus bookstore was a madhouse and they were forced to stand in line for an obscene amount of time while carrying very heavy stacks of books. As they waited impatiently she looked up at Sam and said, “Can you believe this is the last time you’re going to do this?”

“Do what?”

“Get books. After years and years and years… you’re about to be finished with school. This is your last set of classes. Kind of a benchmark day, don’t you think?”

“I guess so,” he said smiling at her, “I’m glad you were here with me today.”

“Well,” she said, staring pointedly at her heavy stack of books and the chaos around them, “It was way more fun being with you yesterday on a white sand beach. But I’ll take it.”

They grinned at each other and then stepped forward a whopping six inches in line. “What do you want to do after this?” Sam asked her.

“How bout we go crawl back in bed?” she suggested coyly.

Sam nodded in agreement, his mind already considering the many possibilities of what they might get up to tonight.

 

 

 

Over the next few days, Dean and Cas made lists just like the girls had recommended. It helped a lot. Dean mentioned to Cas that he felt most of his talents lay in areas that weren’t helpful. “I’m a glorified party planner” he’d said in a fit of self-loathing.

“Dean, your talent is for logistics. Not party planning… or my birthday would’ve been much better.” Dean couldn’t hold back a smile.

“Too bad we can’t vacation for a living. I’m great at that.” Dean said jokingly. Cas didn’t laugh. He didn’t even smile. He was looking at Dean intently. Then he did it. That adorable head tilt. He looked like a puppy considering an object of interest. Dean loved that look and smiled widely.

“What?” he prompted. Cas didn’t speak, but Dean could see the gears turning in Cas’ head. “You’re on to something. I can see it. You wanna share with the class?”

“That’s it Dean… vacation for a living… we should be running a resort.”

“What?”

“A resort Dean. Club Med, Sandals, you know. A fucking resort.”

“Why?”

“Because we’d love it and we’d be good at it. We could do something that caters to the Elites like Dorothy. You knew just how to handle her. It was your niche… even your father thought so. Why not capitalize on that. You can handle the logistics and management. Your degree was business management, right?”

“Cas… you’re fucking brilliant!” he shouted, moving towards him and clasping him tightly. “God damn brilliant!”

“Maybe… we’ll have to talk to Anna. I figure my skills will help too. I can work the algorithms for internet traffic and handle the marketing end of things.” He paused, looking at Dean, and a smile slowly spread across his face. “Call the girls.”

 

 

 

Sams last semester of classes was going by quicker than he liked. Ruby still had another year, but Sam was down to precious little time to enjoy being a student. Soon he’d be expected to use his education to change people’s lives. He was feeling much better about this concept then he had a few months ago, but it was still intimidating.

He contacted Winchester Law and set up a meeting for his intake. He figured he should apologize to everyone for the calls and emails he ignored. But, like the issues with Dean and Mary, the problem seemed too expansive to deal with right now. So he put it off a bit longer.

Instead, he focused his attention on finding a suitable place to live once he finished on Campus. He wanted to get something close to Winchester Law where he’d be working and there was plenty on the market to see. He went over his budget and made changes once he started looking. His cost of living was about to take a hike. He’d never asked Dean how much he’d spent on his condo… he’d never cared. But now that he was shopping for a place he realized how much his brother had likely spent.

Over the next few weeks he considered his brother a lot. Not just his condo, but all manner of things. He wondered why Dean had chosen the things that he had. What was it about that particular condo that had made Dean choose to buy it? What had made his brother continue to drive the Impala for so long? What kept his brother working for their father when it was so clearly not his area? Why had his brother chosen to start dating a man? Did his brother still think of him at all?

The condo Dean had chosen to buy was in a neighborhood that really suited his personality. Perhaps that was the biggest reason. And why the Impala? Sam had always thought Dean drove the Impala to please his father. But even after the man was gone… Dean still kept it.

Sam was at a loss as to why his brother stayed at their father’s office. His mind flashed to the day that Dean was fired. The look on his brothers face when he’d left… it was like someone had broken his heart. Sam hadn’t expected that. He hadn’t thought his brother really even liked working there at all; and with their father gone? It just didn’t make sense.

And of all the things that didn’t make sense… the gay thing. Dean wasn’t ‘light in the loafers’. He’d always been a ‘man’s man’. In fact, Dean had been a hard-core womanizer for as long as Sam could remember. It was Dean who’d taught Sam the fundamental concepts of how to get laid. An area he’d grown adept in quickly. It was Dean that had to be reprimanded constantly for ogling the women at the office. So, yeah… a man? Had his brother literally fucked so many chicks that he’d grown bored of them?

The more he thought about these things, the more he realized how very much he missed his brother. He was still angry about a lot of things. But, yeah. He missed Dean.

 

 

 

Anna looked back and forth between Dean, Cas and Mary. “So, let me get this straight… you decide to run a business because you don’t want to move. But now you’re going to run a business AND move?”

The boys looked at each other and then back to the ladies. “Yes.”

“Are you going to buy and existing resort or build one?” she asked.

“We don’t know yet.”

“Where will it be located?” asked Mary.

“We don’t know yet.”

“What do you know?” asked Anna.

“We know that we have the first idea that either of us have actually been excited about. If you think its viable then we’ll take a crack at it. We’ll do the research, scout locations, make a business plan and seek financing.” Said Cas firmly, with one eye on Dean.

Dean’s dick set up a bit and took notice of Cas. Even though the only people in this room were their mother and sister, Dean had a glimpse of Cas’ commanding personality. It was the first time he’d seen it anywhere but the bedroom in a long time. Too long.

Even after the ladies had gone home for the night, Dean was watching Cas. He was moving with purpose, his eyes were bright as he worked things through in his head. Cas was firing on all cylinders again. Dean hadn’t even noticed that this part of Cas had been missing until it had been returned. It was good to see.

 

 

 

Sam was watching Ruby sleep. She’d fallen asleep shortly after they’d fucked. He hated to call it fucking when it was Ruby, she was important to him so he didn’t want to be crass about it. But it definitely wasn’t making love… it had been too dirty for that. It wasn’t just sex either.

He’d laid awake afterwards thinking about it. Fucking her in the ass had been sublime. He’d had a few dirty encounters like that in his day… but that wasn’t the kind of thing that most girls were willing to do in their first few encounters with a man.

 _And let’s face it Winchester_ – thought Sam – _you don’t have too many who make it past the first few encounters._

It had felt incredible. Like regular sex on steroids. He’d had to work hard not to come too quick because the pressure and pleasure were so overwhelming. But he hadn’t enjoyed it as much as he’d led Ruby to believe. Not because it wasn’t fun… but because he’d been thinking of his brother the entire time. Talk about a mood killer.

But for some reason he couldn’t shake one recurring thought… If you’re fucking someone in the ass – does it even matter what gender they are?

You’re usually not seeing their tits. You’re seeing their back. And an asshole is an asshole. They’re all the same, right? So if you shut your eyes and did it – would you even be able to tell the difference? Sam didn’t think so.

Same with a blowjob, right? If someone’s sucking your dick and you don’t look… does it matter what gender they are? Probably not.

 _You’ve gone over to the bad place Sam_ – he thought to himself. He needed to change the direction of his thoughts. They were becoming disturbing.

 _I should try it_ – thought Sam. His mind railed against the idea and wondered about it at the same time.

 _I should go to sleep and tomorrow I will have forgotten this_ – thought Sam.                         

 

 

 

Cas was just settling into bed when he saw the text from Anna. “Watch the morning news.”

He texted her back. “What am I watching for?”

“Not sure what you’ll see. Just watch.”

“Ok. Good night Anna.”


	17. Why Are You Here?

Cas woke to the most disturbing noise he could remember… a tinny version of Gillette in an annoying and repetitive monotone - ‘Short Dick Man’ was blaring from bedside. Cas fumbled under the covers to reach for it, just as the refrain ended and a loop of “teeny weeny teeny weeny” began repeating. By the time he had his fingers around his phone to silence it he was hearing “shriveled little short dick”.

In bed beside him, Dean was laughing his ass off.

“Is that your idea of joke Winchester? You sabotaged my alarm? What are you five?” he laughed as he flopped back on the bed. Dean was still laughing. No sooner was he calm then it started again… “don’t want no, don’t want no, don’t want no short dick man…” and they were laughing hysterically again.

“And you’ve set the snooze for one minute intervals I see,” Cas admonished him as he wiped his eyes and deleted the alarm. “I assume you’ve set me an equally disturbing new ring tone?”

“I couldn’t help it man!” Laughed Dean. “I just wish I had thought to do that while you were still goin to church with your family. I could’ve made the service really interesting for ya Cas!

It took a while for their laughter to calm down completely, but as it did, Cas reached for the remote. This is why they were up so early after all. To see whatever Anna and Michael had known was happening this morning which was clearly about to covered on the morning news.

They watched though a few minutes of preliminaries, waiting. They didn’t have to wait long…

“In local news this morning, warrants were executed by the San Francisco police department bringing in several high profile members of the local community. Among them, Mr. Charles Milton the third who is the controlling interest in the San Francisco based Baxter/Milton Pharmaceutical Corporation.”

Over the reporters shoulder was a small square showing footage of family home on Sea Cliff Drive. The shot was of the back of the house… footage obviously gathered from either a boat in the bay or a traffic helicopter. The zoom on the camera was dialed so tight that the grainy image was floating unnaturally in the frame. The image then changed to recorded footage of his father being led up the front steps of the police station in handcuffs. His suit jacket was draped over the cuffs to hide them, but it was obvious they were there just the same.

Cas didn’t realize his jaw had dropped open until he felt Dean’s hand wrap around his shoulder. It took all of his concentration and will power to simply bring his mouth back to a closed position.

Then the scene changed as the reporter said, “And now we take you live to Michelle Dorland at the San Francisco police department.” The anchor was gone from the screen and now a handheld camera focused in on the same feisty brunette who had interviewed their spokesman Mitch Tomkins early on. “Thank you Phillip and good morning everyone. We’re here outside of the San Francisco police department where several members of the local community are currently being booked on criminal charges of wrongful death and several other lesser charges. We’ve captured images of the defendents entering the police station but it is unconfirmed at this hour if they will be released pending court dates or held. We’ll continue bringing you updates on this as the situation develops. Back to you Phillip.”

From then on, there was no new information. The station continued to recycle the same footage again and again at every opportunity but that was it for new information.

Cas only realized then, that Dean had moved up behind him on the bed. Cas found himself wrapped in strong arms, Deans chin resting on his shoulder. They didn’t speak. Cas wasn’t sure what he was feeling anyway. He’d known this might happen. At times, he’d even hoped for it when his anger was getting the better of him. Now, he didn’t know how to feel. Or how Anna would feel.

“I need to call Anna,” said Cas.

Dean reached for the phone and handed it to him. “Do you want me to stay or go?”

“I like you right where you are.” Said Cas. Dean leaned back in and placed a soft, gentle kiss on Cas’ shoulder and stayed quiet.

Dean could only hear Cas’ end of the conversation, probably because Anna was speaking so quietly.

“Anna. Are you alright?”

“I know, me too.”

“He did, didn’t he?”

“What is Michael saying?”

“I see. Well, I guess that’s good news.”

“Yes. Yes we need to do that, but not yet.”

“I think I’m still in shock.”

“Do you know if he’ll be held?”

“Ok. Yes. Me too. Love you.”

“Bye.”

Dean waited for several distended moments while Cas sat rigid. When the man started to relax back onto Dean, he started talking.

“Dean. I’ve never seen my father look so small.”

Dean didn’t answer. He just continued to stroke his hand reassuringly up and down Cas’ arm.

“Michael’s people don’t think he’s going to be held. Apparently his money’s all frozen too. He’s not considered a flight risk like that.”

In the quiet moments that followed, Dean’s curiosity got the best of him. He asked the smaller of the two questions on his mind. “You told Anna there was something you needed to do – when the shock wore off. What is it?”

“Celebrate.”

“Oh.” he said softly, "Hey Cas?”

“Yeah?”

“What are they saying about you and Anna?” Cas didn’t answer.

“Cas.” Said Dean firmly, “Do we need to be packing?”

 

 

 

Sam awoke with his arm draped over Ruby. Her lips were always full, but after the servicing she’d given him last night, her mouth was still swollen and it brought his attention to his groin which was stiff and hard for her already.

“Mmm” she hummed as he pulled her small frame toward his.

She instinctively spread her legs as he pulled her in. He found her wet heat before his eyes were even fully open. He slid in easily and she began to move with him. It was short but very sweet and he kissed the top of her head before dropping his head back to the pillows.

In the silence that followed, Sam found there was one thing on his mind. The thought of trying a man. He’d hoped that after he’d slept, the thought would disappear, as errant thoughts often do in the harsh light of a new day. But no. Here he was completely sated and still – the thought plagued him.

“Ruby… when we first got together you told me that I would never lie to you.”

She picked her head up and met his eye. “Have you lied to me Sam?”

“No. But I have something I want to talk to you about.”

“Okay, now’s as good a time as any.”

“I think I might like to try having sex with a man.”

She was quiet for a moment and then asked, “Is that your path, Sam? Or one you’re following your brother down?”

“My brother.”

“Are men sexy to you?”

“No. Except maybe Johnny Depp.” He laughed, “But I think with Johnny it’s more that I want to be him. Not that I’d want to fuck him.”

Ruby chuckled against his side and his mood lightened just knowing that she was relaxed enough with the topic to be laughing at anything.

“When did you start thinking of this?”

“Um… the past few weeks I’ve been thinking about Dean a lot. Among other things, I wonder why he changed from women to men. But as far as me actually thinking about _doing something_ with a man? That just popped in my head last night.”

She chuckled again. “I bet it’s because I let you in the back door, right?”

“That may be part of it.”

“Well, your time at Stanford is almost over. College is basically every ones time to ‘experiment’. If you’re going to do it… probably better do it soon.”

“How do you feel about that Ruby? About me experimenting?”

“It’s hot. I want to watch.”

“Fuck.” He said, startled.

“Yeah, Sam. I want to watch.”

 

 

 

“Cas.” Dean repeated firmly, tightening his hold on his man, “Do we need to be packing?”

“No. I don’t think so. Anna would’ve said.”

“Can I call her?” he asked quietly.

“Of course.” Said Cas, trying to smile. He handed Dean his phone.

“Hi Cassie. You can’t be ready to start celebrating yet. What do you need?”

“Sorry Anna. It’s Dean.”

“Oh, good morning Dean.”

“How are you holding up?”

“To be honest, it’s not as satisfying as I had hoped. I pity him more than I expected to.”

“I’m sorry.” Said Dean, as kindly as he could.

“Don’t be. This is justice.”

“Anna, I’ve called because I want to know about Cas. Do you guys feel any indications that someone may be coming for you guys?”

“Not really. Michaels been working on some things with his attorneys and the state. They’ve been using his information. He’s been cooperating with them fully from the beginning as have I. They’ve not made any promises, but they continue reassuring us that because we haven’t tried to bargain for anything that they will do right by us. We’ve told them that Cas helped as well, that he gave over information freely and that he didn’t alert our family to Michaels evidence gathering even when you had video proof.” Dean hadn’t known she’d been aware of the video they still had. “We’re hoping to hear something definitive soon,” she continued, “but all of Michael’s people and even Zachariah are all of the opinion that although Cas and I may be called to testify at some point… we will likely not be indicted for anything.”

“Thank you Anna. I feel better. Please keep us informed.”

“I will. Hug my brother for me. He’d die before he asked you for it… but he’ll need it.”

Dean smiled, feeling the man wrapped in his arms. “I’m on it.” He said smiling.

 

 

 

Sam and Ruby went about their normal routine over the next few days. But the dominating topic of conversation was Sam’s experimentation. Ruby wasn’t kidding when she’d said she found it an appealing prospect. She was clearly into it. She talked with him at length about his feelings on the matter and what he hoped to gain from the experience. She asked him lots of questions about how he’d like to see the scenario play out and whether or not he wanted her involved and at what capacity. Eventually, she’d told him that she was enjoying the thought of having a threesome with him and another man.

“You know, I’m thinking of this as a one-off.” Sam told her firmly. “I’m not interested in making this a lifestyle. I’m just curious. That’s all.”

“Well, then. If you’re only going to do it once… we’d best make sure that your one experience is satisfying.”

He looked at her with a question in his eyes and she laid a hand on his shoulder, “What I mean by that is… we need to pay careful attention to what you’re looking to learn from this experiment. You know… so that when you’re lying there afterwards… you don’t feel like you’ve been shortchanged somehow. Like you didn’t get what you really wanted out of it.”

“Do you know how amazing you are?” he asked her, pulling her into his lap.

“I know. Tell your friends.” She teased with a smile. Then she extracted herself from his lap and left him sitting at the table with his lunch. He finished his grilled cheese and soup while she put her dishes in the sink and left the room. He was still in his chair with his mind wandering when he felt her hands on his shoulders again. “Sam,” she said in a seductive voice as she leaned in behind him, “do I have your permission to tie you to the bed and have my way with you?”

“Absolutely” he grinned.

She ran her fingers down his chest and when she’d reached his waist, she took the hem of his t-shirt in her fingers and dragged it upwards, pulling it off over his head, leaving him bare-chested. He tipped his head back for a kiss and she gave him a soft one as her hands moved lower again. He felt her fingers on his zipper and became excited as she undid him, expert fingers moving about their work without actually rubbing his junk. It left him wanting her touch.

He stood up from his chair without being prompted, following her non-verbal que’s and waited while she slid his pants slowly down to his ankles, taking his boxers with them, and tugged them away as he stepped out of them.

He then turned to her, she was wearing nothing but the red bikini he’d gotten her for Christmas. He nodded to her in appreciation. And then, naked, he followed her to his bed. She gestured to it and said to make himself comfortable. He chose to lay on his back, since he was hoping that she’d end up riding him.

She crawled up next to him, pulling each wrist to an opposite corner of his headboard. She made short work of tying his wrists firmly in place with her own special ropes made of pantyhose that she was no longer able to wear. He loved them. They didn’t chafe like rope did (or at least not as much) and they had some give to them, like bungee cords, which allowed him some leeway to move and stretch as he responded to her. But, he’d never been able to break free from a pair. They were strong.

She left his legs free and he watched her intently as she moved about the room. She pulled out a bottle of Astro-glide and her vibrator from a drawer and laid them on the bed. He couldn’t be sure who those were for, but he had a feeling he knew.

He watched her lay several other items out as well… a feather duster, a wooden spoon, a comb and hairbrush. Then she moved to the bed again with a silk scarf in hand. He knew what this was for. He closed his eyes and let her blindfold him. His excitement grew intensely as he surrendered his vision to her. “You’re a very good boy Sam,” she cooed to him. I’m going to make sure you enjoy yourself this afternoon.”

“Thank you, Ruby.”

“I want you to feel good.” She said as he felt something tickle at the side of his leg. As the sensation moved upwards, he found himself identifying it as the feather duster. It was very pleasurable and she continued to tease him with it from head to toe as she began to explain what to expect from her.

“I’m going to ask you some questions.” She said in her throaty sex-goddess voice, “your thoughtful and truthful answers will win you pleasure. Any shortsightedness or lying will bring you pain. Am I understood?”

“Yes. Thank you Ruby.”

“Who is in charge of your pleasure?”

“You are Ruby.”

“And who is in charge of your pain?”

“You are Ruby.”

“Who does this belong to?” she asked, curling her hands around his erect shaft.

“It’s yours Ruby. It’s all yours.”

 

 

 

 

Dean didn’t linger in the bed. He told Cas he was going to make breakfast and would return. Cas stayed put for a while to flip channels and scan for any other stories about his family and the board of directors which now boasted several men in jail. His mind wandered to the executives who hadn’t been arrested this morning. What were they doing? Thinking?

What were his mother and sisters thinking? Were Hanna and Hester fearful for their husbands? Cas didn’t think so. His sisters didn’t really love these men. They were just life sized Ken dolls to play with. He wondered how he managed to feel so numb and empty when there were so many logical emotions to be feeling right now.

Not for the first time, he said a silent prayer to any entity listening, thanking them for Dean. Where would he be right now without his best friend’s presence in his life?

 

 

 

“Sam.”

“Yes Ruby?”

“I’ve tied you up many times. Do you have a favorite time?”

“Yes. Studying for the Contracts final was amazing. Best time ever.”

“Mmm, that was fun,” she said as she slid the feather duster over his abdomen, along his hip and down his thigh. “Was there a time that you didn’t enjoy being tied up by me?”

“No. I’ve always enjoyed it.” He smiled beneath his blind fold. The duster continued its soft and whispery journey over his body.

“Do you have any fears when I tie you up?” he was silent, thinking. “Let me rephrase.” She said, “Is there anything specific that you’re afraid I might do to you while you’re tied up? Something unwelcome?”

“Yes, there are a few things that I wouldn’t want to have done.” She ran the duster along his inner thigh in a slow progression upward.

“Tell me. Be specific.”

“I don’t want to be sucker punched while I’m blindfolded.”

“What else?” she said seriously as her lips tugged in a smile and fought back a giggle as she tried to imagine the scenario he’d just described.

“I wouldn’t want to have my dick and balls hurt in any way,” he said and then quickly added, “or my nipples… or anything tender I guess... damn I sound like a pussy.” He laughed.

She took the comb and began moving it slowly and lightly across his scalp along the hairline of his forehead. It felt incredible… tingles spread out across his entire scalp and followed the comb wherever she drug it. “You don’t sound like a pussy Sam. You sound like you’re being honest. Which is all I’ve asked of you. That makes you a good boy.” She drug the comb slowly down the length of his torso and along his light treasure trail. When she reached the dark patch of curls that cradled his cock she began dragging it slowly back and forth through the scruff, from side to side, sneaking lower with each pass.

Sam, with his vision restricted was more in tuned to his other senses and the comb stitching back and forth through his short and curlies was an assault of the sweetest variety. It brought a rush of pleasure to his groin. He hadn’t realized how much he’d been enjoying it until the sensation abruptly stopped and he was left desperately wanting. The room was silent and devoid of movement.

“Sam.” She said to him finally, “What is your biggest fear about being sexual with a man?”

He didn’t even have to consider it. The truth rolled right off his tongue, “getting fucked in the ass.” Immediately upon answering, he was rewarded by the return of the delightful sensation of the comb dragging softly over his pubic hair. He let out a grateful moan and she pulled the comb downward around his balls and began mapping the area surrounding his genitals with it. He was so taken with the sensation that he spread his legs wide for her, hoping for more.

“Why?” she asked him without stopping, “Are you afraid it will hurt?”

“Yes.” He said. “I know it will.”

“You think it will,” she corrected firmly, “Do you forget that you just fucked my ass the other night?”

He was silent, realizing she was right. The comb stopped moving. “Are you going to answer me Sam?”

“Yes, Ruby. I realize what I did the other night. I get your point… if you can take it so can I.” He felt the puff of her breath on the very tip of his dick and his entire member leapt towards the enticing warmth. It stayed erect and throbbing and leaning towards her mouth, feeling her breath as she spoke again, “I didn’t take it Sam. I fucking loved it.” He sucked in a breath at her words and the feel of her mouth so very close to his aching and needy cock, “That’s right Sam. I fucking loved it. And you probably will too.” And with that she sank down on him and his body clenched in ecstasy. He moaned out loud as she enveloped him in her warm wet mouth.

His ears pricked up as he heard the vibrator click on. He tracked the movement of it with his ears as the buzzing got closer and hovered in between his legs. She pulled her mouth off of him with a pop and was clearly focusing her attention on rolling the tip of the buzzing toy around his hole. It was covered in lube and sliding around and he moaned at the sensation before he could think to stop himself, and then again when her mouth found him again.

Sam wanted desperately to put his hands into her hair and feel her head beneath his palms. He pulled and flexed against his restraints, arched his back and called out her name like it was the only word he knew. He felt himself building quickly… his orgasm was freight train roaring down on him. Just as he felt it within reach, she was gone and the vibrator clicked off.

The cool air of the room swirled around his wet dick and it quickly cooled, disappointed. He was left for quite some time, listening intently for her and wondering what was about to happen.

His dick felt betrayed at this moment. He’d been so close. His groin was alive with sensations, ebbing and flowing like the tide moving in and out and slowly calming as his dick grew flaccid. He longed for her to return, this game was no fun without her.

Her bare feet betrayed little noise, but eventually he heard her padding back toward the bed. He had no idea what was going to happen. His cock was lying down now, soft and resting on his abdomen while it waited with him to see what would come next.

He couldn’t see her returning from the freezer with an ice cube in her mouth but when she latched onto his nipple fiercely, he sucked in a ragged breath as the overwhelming sensation hit him. She moved to do the other and even when he knew what was coming it was overwhelming.

“Sam, I have another question for you.”

“What?”

“You’ve licked me everywhere. You’re tongue hasn’t been shy. Have you always liked everything you’ve tasted or was some of that done just for my benefit?”

“I _usually_ like it a lot. I _always_ like it at least a little, but sometimes it’s more for you then for me.” He said, hoping that his answer was honest enough to avoid punishment for hedging.

“And how do you feel about sucking a dick?”

He thought for a moment. He needed to tread lightly. The reflex answers we give are typically not honest ones and they have the insight of a fortune cookie. If he answered too quickly, he may be dishonest without meaning to be. It had happened before and always resulted in punishment. He was no fool. He knew why there was a wooden spoon on the bed. Ruby wanted his honesty and he intended to give it to her. He gave himself a moment to think.

The images behind his eyes were vivid. His mind dredged up pictures of dicks he’d seen in locker rooms and pornos though out his life. He focused on one of the less icky ones and imagined putting his lips to it. Not much of a reaction.

He considered actually opening his mouth and taking it in. Letting it touch his tongue and having to seal his lips around it tightly the way women did for him when they sucked him off. His stomach clenched a bit, reacting negatively to the thought.

However, Ruby had begun to suck him again. As his mind continued to imagine his own mouth sucking a dick, he felt the reverberations of her sucking his… her lips tight around him and her tongue driving him mad. “I…” he tried to speak. His answer was ready and he needed to verbalize it so he could get back to enjoying her sweet mouth on his throbbing cock. “I think…”

She seemed to sense he was having a hard time and she slowed and lightened her touch. He was aware that her continuing ministrations were his reward for giving her question real consideration. As she continued to suckle him but with less passion, he found he was able to focus enough to formulate words. “I think I would be able to do it under the right circumstances, but I’m not interested in doing it for my own pleasure. At all.”

“Good boy, Sam.” She said. “I’m proud of you for your honesty and grateful for your willingness to share your most intimate thoughts with me. I will respect them and keep them just between us.”

“Thank you Ruby”

“Now, Sam, do you have any questions for me before I finally let you come?”

“Yes.” He said without hesitation, “I want to know if you’ll be disappointed if you’re not part of my experimentation with a man when it happens.”

“I think a little, yes. But it’s nothing I can’t live with. Especially since you seem certain that this will be a one-time thing.”

“Ruby, I appreciate your honesty too. You know that right?”

“Yes, but we owe that to each other don’t we Sam?” She said to him as she began shedding her bikini on the bed.

“Yes. And Ruby, I want you to know that the reason I’m going to experiment alone is my own insecurity. It’s no bearing on my feelings for you.”

“Thank you Sam. That’s good to hear,” she said as she crawled up his body.

“One last question?” he prodded her.

“Sure Sam, anything.”

“How badly do you want to have a threesome?”

“On a scale of one through ten… I’d give it a solid seven. But only if it’s a man. I have absolutely no interest in doing a threesome with another woman.”

“I will keep that in mind,” he said smiling behind his blindfold.

She swung a leg over him and slid slowly down his cock, watching his arms flex against the restraints from desire to touch her.

She rode him, as he’d wanted her to. He had to work hard not to shoot too soon, given the duration of her teasing and the erotically charged nature of their conversation. As he felt her body moving on him, he could see her behind his eyelids with startling clarity, grinding, thrusting and the vivid picture of her tits as she bounced on him. She called out his name when she came and it was incredible. This woman was incredible.

 

 

 

The days following the arrest of Cas’ father had been long ones for Dean. Cas was engrossed in the news constantly and talking with Anna several times a day. His man was desperate for information and it was slow in coming. All of the board members had been booked and released pending trial. Zachariah had assured them that even if convicted, the men would likely be sentenced to a minimum security facility and simply have to serve their time. “Trust me,” the man had said while he chuckled, “No one’s getting raped or shanked in the yard of these white collar prisons. I think the tennis courts have been removed now, but it’s far from the kind of prison you see on TV.”

The man made Deans skin crawl. But at least he was trying to reassure his clients, and doing a decent job of it.

Since Cas was preoccupied anyway, Dean used his time to scour the internet for possible sites for a resort. He looked at private islands both with and without structures. He looked at current resort facilities that were for sale or taking on partners. He also googled resorts and local attractions in the areas he’d shopped so he could know what the local offerings were in each area. He even took the time to create folders for each property that was worth considering and added his research of the area to it.

Then, when Cas was in need of distraction, Dean could just open a folder for him and show him something bright and sunny – simultaneously reminding him that beyond this ugly present there was a bright and exciting future waiting for him.

 

 

 

Sam was walking down Market Street. He’d parked and was heading south. The sun was just starting to set, pitching the city into a hazy dusk. He was heading for ‘hi-tops’. It was a well-known sports bar that catered to the gay crowd. Sam figured if he was going to put out feelers for a possible encounter, he’d be more at home in a bar suited to his tastes rather than one with flashing strobe lights and house music.

As he rounded the corner, he stopped at the stairs that led up. He considered chucking the entire idea and heading home. But in truth, he knew he wanted to at least go in and have a look around. He’d driven well over an hour to get here from campus and figured, if nothing else, he’d have a beer and some wings (out of his comfort zone) before heading back.

He ascended the stairs quickly and pushed himself through the entrance. Looking around, it was pretty much what he’d expected. The ambiance was similar to Hooligans or any number of other neighborhood sports bars and it was crowded. The only immediate differences that jumped out at him were that the bartenders were all shirtless men and that it was over-run with men. The place had a shortage of chicks that would normally be seen buzzing around in a place like this.

He wasn’t uncomfortable like he’d expected to be. He sidled up to the bar and ordered a beer. They actually had a pretty respectable selection and he took the bartenders recommendation, settling down on a stool to enjoy it.

He hadn’t been there long when the man to his left turned to him and nodded. When their eyes met, he knew he’d given himself away. This guy knew in heartbeat that Sam was straight. How? Who knows. But he knew in an instant and turned away.

Sam returned his attention to his beer, feeling like an imposter. He had to mentally remind himself that, straight or not, he’d come out tonight seeking male companionship. He was not an imposter. He gathered the nerve to look at the man again. Medium build. Sandy blond hair, cut short. Fair skin, clear blue eyes, scruffy five o’clock shadow. Ruggedly handsome. He didn’t appear gay at a glance. When the man turned slowly toward him, Sam realized he’d been staring.

“Can I help you with something?” Said the man in a thick German accent.

Sam didn’t know what to say. Having spent so much time with Ruby now, he automatically defaulted to honesty when needing to speak and finding no words. “I’m… not sure.” Said Sam.

The guy looked at him for a moment and then let out a chuckle. “Alright, I’m just gonna watch the game while you think it over then.” And he turned his attention back to the TV. Sam looked up to see soccer being played. He’d never watched soccer in his life. He had no idea how to make conversation about it.

But he kind of wanted to talk to the man again. He sat, nursing his beer and trying not to look at the man too much. Instead, he let his eyes wander around the bar in short intervals – not wanting to look like he was cruising but wanting to take in the scene before him.

The man on his right had his back to Sam and was involved in a heated discussion with a large group. When he faced forward again, he thought he saw the man on his left looking at him but wasn’t sure. It had been such a small movement of his head - it could have been his imagination.

Soon he was working on his second beer and starting to feel more comfortable. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked around to come face to face with the owner of that hand. Sam twitched the hand off of him. It was an instinctive action that happened too fast for his logic to over-ride it. “Sorry,” said the man, stepping back, “thought you were somebody else.” And then he was gone.

When he turned to face forward again, blue eyes was looking at him again. He was sure of it this time. So he turned his head to the man and tried to smile.

“What are you playing at?” the man asked him. The accent was definitely a plus as far as Sam was concerned. For some reason, it made Sam more interested in talking to him. Perhaps it simply made the man seem more exotic. Sam was trying to narrow down the accent but it was difficult. He could rule out half a dozen countries but that still left a lot of possible origins.

“Playing? I’m not playing at anything.” He said, trying again to smile.

“You’re straight. Why are you drinking here?” It wasn’t an accusation. It was a genuine question.

Again, Sam chose honesty, “I’m… considering.”

Blue eyes swiveled his bar stool around to fully face Sam and leaned his elbow on the bar, leveling a stare directly into Sams eyes. He wasn’t used to having a man look at him so intently – with interest. In reality, straight men don’t look at each other for more than a beat or two. They just don’t.

It was this kind of eye contact that had initially made Sam wonder about his brother and Cas. The blue eyed man started laughing and it snapped his attention back to the situation at hand. “I think I need another drink or three before I ask what you’re considering,” he said. He was still laughing but it seemed to be a good-natured laugh and Sam found himself relaxing with it.

He exhaled a chuckle too and said, “I’ll get that,” and signaling the bar tender. When the shirtless man walked up to them he questioned, “Another?”

Sam nodded and gestured to include his new friend in the order. He let his eyes look at the bartender’s bare chest. He’d never don’t that before. It didn’t necessarily turn him on to look, but it was noticeably sensual to let himself look when he was so accustomed to not settling his attention on a man’s body in any way. When the man set down their drinks and turned away to help another customer, Sam turned his attention back to blue eyes.

“I’m going to give you some good advice,” he told Sam as he tipped his glass in a ‘thank you’ gesture. “You should never buy a drink for a man in a gay bar. Not unless you are gay. Or his brother.” He said with a chuckle.

“Any other advice for a ‘first-timer’?” asked Sam.

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“On why you’re here.” Said the blue-eyed man. “Why are you here? What are you looking for? What are you considering?”

“That’s a lot of questions from a man whose name I don’t know.”

“I’m Max,” he said, extending his hand warmly for Sam to shake.

“Sam,” he said grasping the hand he’d been offered. Their handshake wasn’t lingering and held no indication of sexual energy. It was a regular handshake. “And I’m _considering_ what it would be like to be a regular at this bar.”

“Are you a writer or something Sam?”

“No. I’m a student actually. At Stanford. I’ll be graduating law school this summer. What do you do?”

“I’m a location scout. That’s why I’m in the city.”

“Location scout… as in… for movies?”

“Television actually. I work out of Berlin and am here seeking shots of the Golden Gate, so that two people on bicycle can stop and have a conversation with the bridge in the background. I’m here for a week, to find a shot that will take less than 90 seconds – before editing.” He concluded smiling.

“Sounds like a fun way to spend the week… just touring around the area. Seems like it would almost be a vacation.”

“Yes, like school is a vacation, right?” this man seemed to know how to get his point across good naturedly. Sam was starting to realize that the man was exercising patience with him.

“Do you have any other advice for me besides not to be buying drinks?” joked Sam.

“Well, now that you’ve made mention… yes. When you’re a man in a gay bar, it’s normal for another man to put a hand on you. When you react like you did with that other poor fellow and jerk away, it’s like an insult. He didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Was probably going to try and buy you a drink. It wasn’t a bad thing this time, but with a different kind of man, it can lead to tension that you don't want.”

“I see.” Said Sam, nodding and feeling more comfortable with this man by the minute. He found himself able to look him the eye and listen without feeling strange about it. And the eyes were nice. They were probably his best feature.

“Would you like to hear one more?” asked Max.

“Sure.”

“Never throw a punch in a gay bar. No matter how big an ass a man is to you. You are straight – and you’d be lynched.”

“What should I do to an asshole if I can’t punch him?” Sam asked seriously.

“Throw a drink in his face.” Sam’s jaw dropped and his body shook with laughter.

“You think is joke” said Max in his thick accent, “it is not. If you throw a drink then you’ve given entertainment. The room will embrace you and the asshole will leave you alone for the rest of the night.”

“You are brilliant,” smiled Sam. He hadn’t noticed himself leaning closer but Max had.

“Tell me, Sam, what has you considering the lifestyle of gay men?”

“My brother.”

“He is gay?”

“Yes. He’s been a womanizer his entire life and then right before our dad died, he just started being gay. He hid it from me. I don’t really understand why. I’m not a homophobe.”

“If you’re brother has been with many women, and only one man then why do you call him gay? He’s probably bi-sexual. Or maybe he’s just experimenting.”

“No. I’m experimenting.” Said Sam laughing again. “He’s fully gay. I’ve seen him with the guy when he didn’t know I was there. This isn’t an experiment for Dean.”

“It seems that your brother is amenable to either gender and just happened to find a man that he wanted to be with. I can guess why he might want to keep it secret, especially if he was uncertain about the relationship. You can see that, right? If your brother prefers women then why come out and tell everyone he’s dating a man if he’s uncertain of his intentions with that man in the long term.”

“I hadn’t thought of it like that,” said Sam, “Thank you for giving me a new perspective.”

Sam and Max spoke through a few more beers. Mostly, Sam was listening intently as the man described Berlin in detail. He compared their television to ours and explained the things he did and didn’t like about his job. Sam answered a few questions about his family and future plans and then was surprised again by a probing question from Max. “Sam, are you here because you’re wondering if you are a little bit gay?”

“No.” said Sam definitively, “I’m certain that I’m straight. I’m here because I was curious what it would be like to be with a man.”

“And are you still curious about that?”

Sam didn’t miss the underlying question. He looked into crystal blue eyes and said...

“Yes.”

 

 

 

Cas was napping lightly on the bed. Dean was sitting next to him, laptop braced against his knees. He’d been working on the budget.

He’d begun by transferring 35% of their 1.6 million over to a separate account to pay the capital gains tax he’d get socked with when he did his taxes this year.

Then he’d done some research and determined that if they built a resort from the ground up it would take about 5 years to be operating in the black. He’d figured on 6 years just to be on the safe side. The simple math he’d done reflected a budget of just over $180,000 a year for the next six years. That’s the maximum they could spend each year without having to worry about running out of money again before they were back to having a reliable income.

In reality, that was less than their combined salaries when they’d been employed. But, since the loss of their jobs they’d trained themselves to live on considerably less. So Dean figured they should continue in their new habits and spend as little as possible. They may end up needing some of that money for Cas’ defense or for some other emergency along the way.

Now that he was feeling accomplished, he decided to shut down the boring stuff and look up some Japanese Anime Porn. He was just starting to really enjoy it when Cas’ phone intruded. Cas rolled over and grabbed the phone, yawning as he said hello.

“Yes.” Dean heard him say.

“Really? Really Anna, really?”

“Is there anything else I need to know?”

“Wonderful. I want to tell Dean. I’ll call you later!”

Dean was intrigued. He snapped the lid of the laptop shut and set it aside to give his man full attention.

“Michaels gotten official word that I will not be indicted – none of us kids will be.” The news hung in the air between them for a moment. It was almost too good to be true.

Dean surged forward and dog-piled Cas into the mattress. He gripped arms around the man tightly and hugged him close, peppering his neck with kisses and whispering I love you in his ear over and over.

When they finally stilled, Cas said, “We’re clear to travel. I may be called on to testify so it’s possible I might have to fly home on short notice. But Dean, we can go. We can travel. We can actually start putting together the resort.”


	18. Ask Me In The Morning

Dean and Cas were feeling celebratory. They had a ‘private’ celebration at home that afternoon and then as they laid in bed recovering, they began to send messages to friends (and to Mary of course) to update everyone that Cas was okay and that they would soon be traveling around a little in the Caribbean and Central America. They promised lots of pics.

Pam was one of the first to actually call and ask how long they’d be gone and what the purpose of their trip was.  They’d put her on speaker phone so they could both speak with her and explained that they were considering buying or building a resort and were going to be looking at possible properties. She immediately expressed her support of the endeavor saying she’d better get a great discount when they opened.

Then she said, “We’re going to have to throw you boys a little ‘bon-voyage’ party!”

“Who’s we?” questioned Dean, “You don’t mean Chris do you?”

“She sure does,” chimed in Chris who’d apparently been in ear shot as they talked. The three of them on speaker had now become four. “Chris… I can’t believe you got her in the sack once. Now here it is six months later and she hasn’t gotten bored with your hairy ass yet!”

“Try to keep the jealousy in check, Winchester. You gave it your best shot… for years! But it wasn’t in the cards for ya buddy! She’s mine now!”

“Yeah, you’d better be treatin’ her right. I’ll be watchin’ for an opportunity to slide into your spot, man!” teased Dean while locking eyes with Cas and smiling good naturedly.

“Cas,” interrupted Pam, “How is it going for your father?”

“I don’t know,” he said, we haven’t spoken since I came out.  I alternate back and forth between hoping he has a long and terrifying prison experience and hoping that they aren’t too rough on him.” Cas paused and sighed and everyone else was quiet. “I guess,” he continued, “it depends on how angry I’m feeling at him when some asks me.” He laughed.

“Well, we’re real sorry to know that you’re feeling this way,” said Pam kindly, “I wish there were something we could do.”

“Thanks, that means a lot,” said Cas quietly.

Pam told them to pull out a calendar so they could pick a date for the party. They all decided it would be best for a Saturday night – two weeks out. She’d told them to invite anyone they wanted and she’d send out word amongst their crowd.

Once they hung up, Dean and Cas fell into a long conversation about the timeline for leaving on their journey. There was a lot to do before they could leave. They divided up the responsibilities. Dean would make the necessary phone calls to arrange for visits to all these properties with their sales agents and create an itinerary for their trip as the schedule came together.

Cas, they decided, would be responsible for the necessary steps to secure their financing and complete the research Dean had started regarding marketing and business development.

They we’re planning to leave the day after Pam’s party and both men felt that if they were aggressive in their work, it was a reasonable timeframe.

Cas’ money and property were still frozen. Zachariah was less than reassuring regarding the timeframe for getting any funds released so they’d decided to just do their best without Cas’ money and not think too hard about it. Both men were starting to realize that because Cas’ money was connected with an open case… it was possible that years may go by before there was any closure.

In the meantime, the boys worked diligently on their respective duties and the following week when Dean’s dividend check arrived he was pleased that he was able to put it in savings. He promised himself that each year he’d put these checks into savings and never touch it unless there was an emergency. He’d do that for five or six years until the resort was profitable and then he’d start re-investing the checks as he always had. He’d consider that savings account to be his “rainy day fund”.

 

 

 

Sam watched Max get up from his stool and slide his card across the bar to pay his tab and did the same. As they stood, Sam realized that Max was built bigger than he’d initially thought. Sam was still taller by a few inches but found himself feeling gangly next to the stout German man who Sam now realized was _very_ well put together.

Having spent his entire life thinking of men as either beer buddies or competition for women, Sam had found it difficult to consider a man in a sexual way. Difficult, but not impossible, and it was getting easier with every moment he spent with Max. He watched the man moving toward the door and followed.

Sam’s dick was very well trained by now. His time with Ruby had been spent with his cock locked away in a cage almost as often as it was free. And now, it bent to Sam’s will without effort.

Case and point… watching Max move through the door ahead of him Sam felt it perk up and respond to the possibility of sex taking place without any physical enticement what-so-ever. No one had said anything dirty… no one had touched it or teased it. But it was an ingrained reaction now - once Sam’s brain had okayed sex with this man - his cock practically sat up and said ‘roger that’. It was like having a well-trained dog.

As they headed down the steps, Max asked him if he had a car with him. Sam said yes and when the man asked him if he wanted to simply leave it here and walk to the hotel together, he nodded again. As they moved along the sidewalk side by side he noticed that Max walked closely enough to him that their elbows or the backs of their hands would occasionally brush. It was subtle but noticeable. Sam wondered if it constituted flirting in gay circles.

That was something he hadn’t really considered when he’d told Ruby he wanted to try out a man. He didn’t realize how inept he’d be at moving into that world. He was an old hand at getting laid. He knew where to go, how to posture himself, what to say, how to touch… he was a master at the art of getting girls out of their clothes and onto his cock.

But men? No idea where to even start. No idea how to tell who was single and who wasn’t. No idea what to say or do… he was lost. He found himself glad that he’d met someone like Max who was direct and willing to be patient with him.

As they continued for several blocks in relative silence, Sam’s mind wandered to Ruby. It was because of her that he was feeling as calm as he was right now. Because she had the foresight to get into his head and find out what kind of experience he wanted to have, the picture was very clear to him. She’d also dug in and found out what his reservations and fears were and helped him address them.

He was now armed with the knowledge that he truly wanted to do this. He wanted to feel a man kiss him and see what it would be like. He wanted to touch and be touched the way men touch each other. He still had latent fears about being fucked in the ass, but he trusted Ruby implicitly and he had her reassurance that he would likely enjoy it. A lot.

He also knew, because of Ruby’ probing, that he wasn’t interested in giving head. Because of that, he intended to not accept any fellacio from Max in order to eliminate the obligation to reciprocate.

He hadn’t realized just how deep into his thoughts he’d wandered until he felt a touch to his elbow. His mind reeled in and he looked over at Max whose light touch to the elbow had turned into a grasp.

As soon as Sam turned his attention to man, he released his grip and gestured to their right. “This is my hotel” he said with a soft smile.

Damn. The man’s eyes were electric and when he smiled it was distracting. Sam turned to move through the door of the hotel and Max asked if he’d like to have a quick drink in the hotel bar. Sam saw this as Max offering to dial it down a notch if he needed to… take it slower. Sam smiled in gratitude and they walked into the dark paneled room. The lights were low and the place was quiet. There were a few people scattered around the room at tables eating and drinking and talking quietly.

Max gestured for Sam to pick a place to sit. Sam bypassed the bar in favor of a small table in a corner. It was the kind of seat he would’ve chosen if he was on a date with a woman and wanted to ‘up’ the level of intimacy.

The waitress came quickly and offered them menus. They declined and ordered drinks instead. When she bustled off, Sam looked directly at Max and said, “Thanks for stopping here. I don’t know that I was ready to go up to your room yet.”

“Perhaps I was too eager to leave the bar,” he responded with a mischievous grin.

“No.” Sam said still meeting his eye, “This is much better for talking. It was getting loud in there.”

They both sat quietly for a moment, just looking at one another. Then the waitress stepped into their bubble and placed a tumbler in front of Sam and a beer mug in front of Max. As she departed they raised their glasses to their lips, eyes still locked.

Swallowing, Sam ventured to ask if Max had always been gay. “Yes, I’ve always been drawn to men. I think sex is better between men. But I have also been with women and will occasionally enjoy the company of a woman if the mood suits me.”

“What is it that makes it better with men? Besides the obvious, I mean.” Said Sam with a chuckle.

“A man is more commanding. More powerful. I prefer a strong companion in my bed, over someone whom I have to be gentle with.”

Sam felt his chest constrict. _Who sucked all the air out of the room?_ “I see.” He replied quietly.

“Did I just scare you off?” Max laughed over his mug.

“No,” said Sam, locking eyes and leaning in over the table to whisper, “You made my dick hard.”

Max abandoned his beer and stood, fishing out his wallet and tossing bills on the table while Sam tipped back the tumbler and downed the remainder of his whisky. He grimaced, waiting for the burn to subside and then nodded to Max. As the man strode purposefully back out of the bar and into the lobby, Sam followed him.

They paused waiting for the elevator and watched a frail elderly couple walk by. It took them forever to cross the ten feet of hallway occupied by elevator doors.

When a set of elevator doors finally opened, Sam entered and walked to the back, turning to lean back against the wall and crossing one ankle over the other. He watched Max press 8 and then waited to see if anyone else would be joining them. Sam was relieved to see the doors slide shut and his eyes fell to the floor. He couldn’t look up at the man approaching him. He saw Max’s shoes step to him, one planting itself on either side of Sam’s legs which were crossed at the ankles. Sam’s heart was a jackhammer and his breathing was noticeably shallow as he felt a heavy hand come to rest on his hip.

“Glad to be alone,” said Max from too close; sexy accent moving over Sam like fingers, “Don’t want to be making conversation in the lift,” he said softly. Sam waited a beat and nothing happened. No more words were uttered but Max didn’t press further. Sam was left waiting, wanting. He finally found the courage to lift his face and look at Max.

The man’s face was so close. Sam could barely focus. Finally, Max closed the distance between them. The first touch of lips was a jolting snap of electricity and it was over before it began. The man had leaned in with parted lips – but he hadn’t sealed their lips together. Instead he’d touched his warm, wet lips to Sam’s briefly and with his mouth open, Sam had felt a soft and wet tongue there.

There was no intrusion of tongue, it was just there and the tease of it was like bait. Sam leaned, trying to recapture those lips but they were gone before he could blink. As was Max.

He’d pivoted around and was now leaning on the back wall, next to Sam, facing the doors and waiting for them to open.

Sam took a deep breath to calm himself and focused on being able to walk and talk as the doors slid open. They both moved forward to exit and then Sam paused a beat to allow Max to lead as they walked down the hall to his room.

Sam leaned on the wall next to the door while Max pulled the keycard out of his wallet and slid it into the reader. As the door swung open, Max looked at Sam and brought a hand to his hip again, pulling him forward as though he were going to really kiss him this time. But he stopped with only a few inches separating them. Sam’s eyes were locked on those lips. He was paralyzed.

“That was your first man kiss, yes?”

“Yes.”

“And what do you want now? Another?” Max teased.

“Yes.” Sam said firmly, reaching. But Max was gone again. Sam blinked. He found his feet and used them to walk through the open door of the hotel room. When he saw Max standing there with feet firmly planted and hands in pockets, he pulled the door shut behind and crossed the room.

The man looked like a statue erected in honor of what all men should look like and as Sam approached, the heat between them was palpable. Sam wasn’t going to ask again. Clearly, he was free to take what he wanted.

He didn’t slow as he approached the man, remembering that Max enjoyed not having to be gentle. His momentum met resistance as Sam pushed into the man and backed him to the wall. He saw a smile tick across the man’s face as they thumped against it and realized that Max was enjoying this.

Sam leaned in and pressed lips to Max. He held that posture for a moment, straining to feel the difference between this kiss the many girl kisses that had come before it. He could feel a tickle from the scruff of the man’s beard and it excited him. It was different. Foreign.

He slid his tongue out against Max’s lips and pressed between them, opening him up and sliding their tongues together. Sam immediately felt the pulse of hot desire spring up in his chest and begin to spread out slowly over his body. His knees were getting weak. He felt strong hands grip him at the shoulders and a powerful man press back against him to deepen the kiss.

Sam found himself being walked backward to the bed as the two men kissed and licked and nipped at each other, smiling as the backs of Sams legs found the bed and he began to tip backwards onto it. To his surprise, Max just paused a beat and allowed Sam to flop down. Then the man surged forward and climbed on top of him.

Sam’s mind and senses were overwhelmed and he found himself acting at his most base instinctual levels. He clawed at the man above him, wanting to feel skin, not clothes. He let sounds fall from his lips without censoring them. The room was full of grunts and moans as they wrestled each other free of constricting clothing and finally touched skin to skin.

There were no voluptuous breasts to tease his eyes - but that was hard to notice when he could barely keep his eyes open against the onslaught of pleasure he experienced as big, strong and commanding hands assaulted his body. His mouth was open and seeking something to suck on – normally a breast. He felt someone sucking his and realize there were still nipples to suck, they just weren’t jiggly. They were firm and solid and taught – like everything else on this man.

His body was practically convulsing with pleasure as he was worked over. He felt a tongue on his chest and it slithered down his body like an eel. He cried out as its wet track culminated on the tip of his hard and throbbing cock.

Sam found the strength and will to pull his head up and open his eyes. Looking down his body he saw the top of Max’s head and then had to let his head fall back again as the rapture hit him with force. As the man slid his mouth down Sam’s cock, he was bold and firm. He didn’t start soft like girls did and then work up to more. He sucked Sam’s dick like it was life or death.

Sam had to cry out and pull on Max’s head off with force to keep himself from filling up the man’s mouth. Max seemed to sense Sam’s need to breathe and shifted his weight to the side, pressing more of those open-mouthed, tongue teasing kisses to his neck and ear and face and then their lips locked. He felt the man holding his chin and surrendered completely to the domination. He had no will to fight it – he didn’t want to.

 

 

Sam’s mind was sputtering in and out of rational thought and he laughed out loud when he remembered his intention to not accept a blow job from this man out of fear of having to reciprocate. He couldn’t think of a reason why he wouldn’t want to put his mouth on this man. And then, just to follow his own mind, he surged into Max, rolling him over so Sam could take his place on top.

He took a moment to appreciate his vantage point, looking down at Max’s incredible blue eyes. They were exactly the color of a Tiffany’s box. He felt the man put hands to him and pushed them away forcefully as he crawled backward over the man’s body. He could feel hairy legs against his as he moved lower and saw treasure trail as his eyes mapped out the mans naked form. These differences didn’t detract. They made it thrilling.

Being on top of a woman is exciting because of what you’re going to do to her. Being on top of a man was all of that – and more. It was a thrill of a new kind. His mind compared it to hunting. Chicks are like deer – he thought; flighty and dainty and beautiful. But under him now was power and strength and heady smell… Max was a bear.

After a lifetime of hunting deer… Sam had taken down a bear. It was a bigger conquest. Any consideration to pain or fear flew out the window. All of Ruby’s punishments seemed so trite now.

 _Who cares about a spanking with a damn wooden spoon?_ He thought. _I’m going to tear this man apart!_

Dean was tired when they finally turned in that night. He flopped down on the bed and waited in the quiet room, hearing the sink running in the bathroom where Cas must be brushing his teeth.

He leaned over to the drawer where they now kept the cigar box (Dean had needed a drawer in the bathroom after all) and pulled out a joint. He lit it and began to feel his body relax. He hadn’t realized he’d been tense until the muscles all relaxed at once.  He took another hit and watched as Cas came out of the bathroom and flick off the lights. Since Dean already had a lighter in hand, he rolled to the bedside table again and lit a candle.

Cas had crossed the darkened room and was digging through records. “Any requests?”

“Something mellow” answered Dean.

Cas pulled out ‘Anthology’ by Bread. It was their greatest hits double album. He placed it on the turntable and lowered the volume. ‘Baby I’m A Want You’ began with a sentimental acoustic guitar and soon swelled lightly through the room. The song always made Cas feel like it was a lazy Sunday afternoon.

He moved to the bed and set an alarm before laying down next to Dean and accepting the joint he was handed.

“How you feelin’ man?”

“Tired.” He breathed. “I’m good, Dean.”

“Good,” said Dean rolling to his side and putting his elbow into his pillow to brace his head up as he watched Cas inhale.

“Something on your mind Winchester?”

“Yeah. Your dick.”

Cas rolled over, away from Dean and tapped out the joint. With his back still to Dean he said roughly, “Where do you want it?”

 

 

 

As Sam climbed lower down Max’s body, he felt himself bump over the man’s package. It startled him a little. But he recovered and as he slid into position to take the man into his mouth, he was overwhelmed by its size. The man was inches shorter and yet his package was about the same size as Sam’s own. Impressive.

He caught himself staring at it and glanced up at Max’s face to see if the man had noticed. The man was wearing a smirk on his face that indicated he was enjoying watching Sam stare at his junk.

“It’s alright if you want to look at it” said Max plainly, “you’ve never let yourself look at one before, right? Besides your own, eh?”

Sam nodded, grateful he’d been given permission to stare. The man was right. He’d averted his eyes to every dick he’d ever seen in real life that wasn’t his own. He reached out with two fingers and touched it. He felt the skin which was enticingly soft and stretched tightly over a rock hard shaft. There was a tiny droplet formed at the slit on top and before he even realized what he was doing he’d run his finger through it and brought it to his own mouth. Just as he was about to taste it, he looked up to see Max grinning widely watching Sam. The man nodded for him to continue so he did.

It tasted like he expected. Bitter. But it was also very erotic to be watched in such a dirty deed. He wrapped his fingers around the man’s heavy cock and it and gave it a few strokes, loving how easy it was to move his fist up and down and feel a corresponding pleasure in his own member as Max took him in hand as well.

They jacked each other slowly for a short, hot minute and then Sam broke the connection as he leaned in to take that giant throbbing cock in his mouth. It was far easier than it had any right to be. He was so overcome with desire that nothing else mattered. He worked to get the entirety of it wet and then sucked on it, enjoying the musky manly smell and how silky it felt sliding along his tongue as he moved his head up and down.

He knew he wasn’t getting much of the man in his mouth, but he also knew that was he was doing felt good, because he’d felt it before. He knew exactly what his partner was feeling. He pulled off, panting heavily from holding his breath and felt arms on him again. Before he knew it he’d been unseated and found himself being rolled back to the other side of the bed.

It was disorienting but pleasurable to be thrown off balance like this by strong hands. The world tipped upside down and then corrected and he found himself with his head on the pillow and Max laying on his chest. One leg was in between Sam’s two. Max rolled his weight up Sam’s body which forced his thigh to press upward on Sam’s balls and provided something that Sam could thrust up against. Sam moaned at the feeling and Slowly, Max moved his other leg in to also rest between Sam’s.  

Sam’s breath hitched as he considered how it felt to be the one spreading legs. It was exhilarating and he spared a half second to consider if women got a rush like this when they finally parted their legs for a man. He suspected so.

An involuntary and guttural noise escaped his mouth as Max ground his hips into him again, this time pressing their cocks together tightly and then then dragging his alongside Sam’s in a delicious and dirty slide. It took a while for him to realize that he was repeating ‘yes’ to Max with each repetition.

Sam chanced a glance at his partner and found soul searching eyes rested on him, drinking him in. Their lips found each other again and when they parted Max leaned in and spoke directly in his ear, “How do you want to come Sam?”

“What are my choices?” he whispered back.

“I can fuck you, you can fuck me or we can keep doing this” was his answer. To make the point, Max flexed himself again, pulling his dick alongside Sam’s and bringing a wave of pleasure over the lower half of Sam’s body.

“Go ahead and fuck me” replied Sam in a low whisper that was almost a growl. He’d already decided he was going to let this happen back when he’d been tied to his bed with Ruby working him over. She’d told him he would probably really like it and he believed her.

Besides, he already knew what if felt like to fuck someone this way. What he didn’t know was how it felt to _be fucked_. And after all, that’s why he was here. To feel what he’d never felt. To feel what Dean felt.

At the tender age of eleven when Sam had first overheard Dean fucking a girl, he’d wanted to know how it felt to do that. Now again, Dean had experienced something and Sam was trailing along behind him, trying to get a taste of what his brother had been enjoying.

Max seemed surprised that Sam had made things so easy. He let the man flip him over and he, again, spread his legs. Max had sat up and spent quite a while fingering Sam open. The man had used so much lube that it was sloppy and messy but when that first breach came he clenched his fists into the sheets and cried out. He’d never felt anything, in all his life, that compared to this feeling. It was completely and totally new. He heard his name followed by a slew of expletives in German (he assumed).

Sam didn’t breathe. He held perfectly still. He was riding the fine line between pleasure and pain and he had a feeling that the pain would be intense. He imagined this scenario without lube and it was terrifying.  He forced himself to take small breaths and relax. Max’s voice reached him now and it was also telling him relax. But it’s hard to relax when you’re certain that there’s a 2x4 impaling your asshole.

Precious seconds ticked by and they were absolutely still. Sam was afraid to move. Sweat was dripping from his brow and his hair was damp with it, as was the rest of his body. Then, ever so slowly, Max began pulling out. The feeling was reminiscent of taking a shit. He began to panic that it was actually happening. But then he heard Max telling him, “Is okay. Sam. It is good.”

With that he relaxed a bit and tried to get used to the feeling. He remembered Ruby saying, “I didn’t take it Sam, I fucking loved it!”

Had he been duped? Because by textbook definition right now… he was taking it.

 

 

 

“Where do you want it?” Cas demanded roughly. Dean surged across the space between them wrapped his arm around Cas’ waist. He slid his hand down into the man’s boxers and ran his open palm down Cas’ shaft and back up again.

Cas’ soft cock began to harden with Deans touch. He tucked himself up with his chest to Cas’ back and they laid on their sides like that while Dean continued stroking Cas’ cock languidly and keeping his nose in the hair at the base of his neck. He breathed in the scent of Cas’ shampoo and the underlying smell that was just Cas. He’d know that smell anywhere.

“You’re hair’s getting long Cas, it’s sexy. I like it.”

“Mmm I like you’re hand on me.” Said Cas, pressing his ass back and into Deans stiff dick. Dean groaned and circled his hand around Cas and started fully jacking him.

Cas began to turn towards Dean in the bed and they simultaneously began pulling each other’s boxers off.

Naked, they pressed together, fondling nipples and sucking marks into each other’s skin. Their hips pressed together trapping cocks in the heat between them and sliding them together as they moved in the bed. Their breathing was getting heavy. Cas dropped his hand to encircle them both and began jacking them together. Dean stilled and let Cas work them, slowly bringing his hand to cover his lovers and do it together.

“Dean,” panted Cas, “do you want to fuck me?”

Wordlessly, Dean flung Cas over on his stomach and reached across the man to grab the lube. He made short work of prepping Cas who was moaning into the sheets as Dean fingered him.

When Dean sunk into Cas, he felt like melting butter. He slowed himself from the frenzy and covered Cas’ body with his own.

He slid his arms forward and cradled Cas’ head in them, bringing his nose back to its home at the base of his lovers neck and began to roll smoothly and gently into the deepest part of his man. Dean felt Cas’ hands come to rest on him, holding the arms that were holding him. Dean tightened his arms and listened for the soft sounds of Cas moaning as they moved together.

“I love you Dean.”

“I love you too Cas.”

 

 

 

Sam was holding a rigid frame and focusing on his breathing, trying to keep from freaking out and begging Max to stop. His knees were trapped, locked in place by the weight of Max behind him. His head and shoulders were buttressed up against the head board. There was nowhere to move to seek relief, he was trapped in this demeaning posture and he felt like he was a millimeter from ripping – his ass was pulled so tight.

Max was moving in and out slowly and clearly enjoying himself. Sam was barely holding on. He felt the man tighten his grip on his hips and then, there was pressure at the small of his back – Max pressing down with his forearm. Sam resisted at first, but Max was whispering encouragement in his ear and it helped relax him enough to unlock his frame. As the weight of his partner pressed down on his lower back, it forced Sam’s back to arch and changed the angle of everything. The next time Max slid in, there was an explosion; a lightning strike deep inside his body. It sent shockwaves of pleasure rolling along his spine and he cried out with it.

“Ah ha! See it’s good Sam, feels good, yes?” Said Max as he pulled back and thrust into Sam again. And it happened again – lightening - fireworks. It was pure pleasure being milked from somewhere deep inside him that had never been touched before. As if there was a secret pleasure switch deep inside him that had been dormant all this time and was now pulsing to life. He didn’t want to carry on like a whore but he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. He screamed every curse word he knew and called out Max’s name too. He hadn’t realized when it had happened, but at some point he’d begun rocking backward onto Max’s giant cock. It still wasn’t enough. All he wanted was more.

He felt the man behind him rise up and reach forward, felt fingers fisting into his hair and then pulling his head back. A bear claw grip loosened from his hip and moved to take Sam’s cock which had suddenly gotten hard again and was bobbing underneath him. With a firm hand squeezing and jacking his dick and a giant throbbing cock slamming into him from behind – Sam came. He felt the rush gathering in him and felt the wave of pleasure push him forward as he emptied himself. He was lost to the world for a moment.

When he came back to himself he found he’d fallen into a crumpled pile of limbs. He rearranged himself to lay out flat while he was still panting. As he laid there and waited for his breathing to calm down, he felt a finger tracing the line of his back.

He turned in the bed and came face to face with those blue vapor eyes. He froze for a moment but then Max gave him a smile. The same smile he’d given Sam at the bar when Sam had told him he was ‘considering’.

The two men let out huffs of amusement and Max pushed Sam’s sweaty hair out of his face.

“How do you feel? Are you okay?” Max asked him.

“Yeah… I just need a minute.” He said, still breathing heavily. “That was really intense.”

“Sam, when you decide to jump in the pool – you jump in with both feet.” Laughed Max.

“Your English is much better now that you’ve come.” Laughed Sam.

Max lit a joint and they passed it back and forth, just staring at the ceiling quietly. When it was finished, Max got up and headed for the shower. Sam sat up and took stock of himself. He was covered in sticky stuff. Lube, jizz, spit. His skin crawled. “Coming?” he heard Max ask.

Sam’s head snapped up and he saw Max waiting at the door to the bathroom. “Yeah,” he responded, moving slowly. _Yep. I’m gonna feel that tomorrow_ – he thought as he walked towards the shower.

Max pulled him in under the spray and Sam found that he still really liked the way Max touched him. He touched Sam the way a friend would touch a friend if there were no sexual boundaries. Freely.

His mind immediately snapped to his brother and Cas; the way they looked at each other and touched each other.

“Are you hungry?” asked Max as they stepped out and began toweling off.

“Yes.”

“You want to stay? I’ll order some food and we can lay in bed and watch TV?”

“Okay.” Sam hadn’t even considered what would happen after they’d done the deed. But now it seemed silly to think he’d be banished off as soon as they’d fucked. Clearly they liked each other – they’d been talking all night. Besides, Sam’s car was like seven blocks away… it was easier just to stay and relax where he was obviously welcome.

He didn’t bother with clothes, just dropped his towel and walked over to the other bed in the room – the one that was still made – and crawled into it. He checked his phone and answered a few texts while Max ordered dinner for them and turned the TV to face their bed.

Sam dashed off a quick text to Ruby, “I just wanted to let you know that it happened and I survived. Pry see you tomorrow.” he added a smiley face before setting his phone aside and turning his attention to the TV.

Max handed him the remote and he began to flip channels. They lounged there watching for a bit and when the food was delivered they ate it in bed.

Later in the dark when Sam was teetering on the edge of sleep, Max said, “I’d like to know, Sam. You were curious what it would be like to be with a man. What did you think?”

Sam was quiet for a moment, thinking over his answer. Max interrupted his thoughts and added, “I’m not asking you to tell my performance was good or that I have a huge cock. I’m asking you how you found the experience. Was it what you thought it would be? Was it different?”

“I had some misconceptions,” Sam admitted. “Not to over-think it, but I think the experience was bigger than I expected it to be. It wasn’t just sex with a guy instead of a girl. It was an entirely different kind of sex.”

“That’s a good observation Sam.” He got quiet for a moment and then asked, “Do you think you’ll ever want to do that again? Or was once enough?”

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “Ask me again in the morning.”

In the quiet that followed, Sam drifted off to sleep.


	19. The Core of a Person

Now that Sam was with Ruby, faithful to a girl for the first time ever, he was out of the habit of waking up in strange beds.

Waking now, in a strange place was disorienting. The events of last night began flooding back to him. He remembered the bar. Meeting Max. The walk to the hotel. The Elevator. The kiss.

A smile spread across his face as he remembered the rest. He’d done it. He’d had sex with a man. Hot sex. Incredible sex. Incredibly. Hot. Sex.

He rolled over in the bed, wondering if his conquest was still sharing it with him. Nope. He looked around the room. He was relieved to see the man’s things still here. He hadn’t been ditched.

 _Why would I care? It’s not like we’re going to live happily ever after. This was a one-off._ – He reminded himself.

But there was something… a tiny little tug at the corner of his heart for Max. He liked him, Max was a good guy. Sam knew he didn’t want to turn in his straight card and ride off into the sunset with Max. But he didn’t want to be ditched by the guy either. If nothing else… he wanted to say thanks for making the experience what it was.

Sam got up, stretching like a cat, and began to pick up his clothes off the floor and put them back on. He had one leg into briefs when the door clicked open.

“You’re up,” Smiled Max with take out in his hands, “I brought breakfast from downstairs.”

“I’m starving,” Sam said as he walked over to peek into the bags, “What’s for me?”

“Take your pick. I like it all.”

They dug in to the food, sitting at the small table, and ate in companionable silence. When he’d finished, Sam sat back in his chair with hands on his stomach, “Thanks for breakfast. That hit the spot.”

“You seem to be feeling ok this morning.” Max observed.

“I feel great,” Sam enthused, “as long as I don’t move around.” They both chuckled, knowing that Sam was referring to the inevitable lingering soreness that he woke with this morning.

“So. You learned all you hoped to last night?”

“Well, yeah. I think so. You’re a great teacher.” Sam smiled at him fondly, “I’m… well… I’m glad it was you.”

“Me too!” he laughed inferring he’d enjoyed himself.

“Max, you knew right away that I was straight. Only a glance and you knew. How?”

“I guess I just have a sense for people.” He smiled.

“I wish I did. I’m supposed to be a lawyer soon, but my ability to size people up is… well, limited.”

“Ah, that’s a simple thing… You’re probably just trying too hard. People are simple creatures.” He said firmly, “What did you think of me when you saw me? Be honest.”

“I thought you didn’t look gay. You were manly. I always picture gay guys to be more… flamboyant?”

“And by that token I should assume that you are a self-righteous arrogant asshole because you’re a lawyer?”

“I have to pass the bar before I get to be an arrogant asshole.” He said grinning.

Max laughed along and the asked, “You see my point?”

“I think so… never judge a book by its cover?”

“Well I won’t argue that; but it’s not what I’m getting at.” Said Max as he leaned in like he was about to reveal the location of buried treasure. “Sizing people up is pretty easy. You just have to start with the most basic part of a person.”

“I’m listening.” Said Sam.

“Well, when you meet someone your mind immediately begins to categorize them. They are a man or a woman. You check for rings to see if they are part of a married couple. You watch their mannerisms to find out if they’re gay or straight, bully or pussy… it’s a progression, right?”

“Yes.”

“That’s the long way.” said Max firmly. “And, it’s subject to change. You’ve seen that with your brother. Someone can be straight for decades and then begin to identify as gay or queer or whatever. As we age – we change. It can leave us feeling like we’ll never really know anyone.”

“That’s so true” replied Sam.

“Well, when I meet someone, I prefer to try and see who they are at their very core. Knowing that will help me predict their behaviors quite well. I don’t _have_ to get to know them to predict their behavior. But as I get to know them more… I will _grow_ to predict it better and better.”

“What do you mean by seeing who they are at their core?”

“You’re going to laugh. But it’s simple. We all have one base component of our personality that doesn’t really change. Are we a top? Or are we a bottom?”

“You mean… like sex? Top and bottom in sex?”

“Yes, Sam, that terminology may be used primarily to refer to the dynamic of a gay man’s relationship in this country. But it is an intrinsic part of everyone’s personality. We are all either submissive or dominant. We either want to fuck or be fucked. Even a person like me who enjoys both and switches roles for any number of reasons… I have a preference for one more than the other. So does everyone else.”

“I’m intrigued. Tell me more.”

“A person who is a ‘top’ or ‘dominant personality’ will have certain traits. It’s not infallible but its damn close. These type of men and women prefer a leadership role. They don’t like to be questioned and typically don’t respond well to criticism and they will often have a genuine thirst to prove their worth and to earn the titles they seek.” He took a deep breath and continued, “someone who is a ‘bottom’ or ‘submissive personality’ will usually be more of a ‘team player’ and they are likely to be more loyal and more patient and less likely to complain. Also, they don’t seek to elevate themselves. The surprise is that they are usually more confident than tops.”

Sam was transfixed by what he was hearing.

“When I first meet a man and shake his hand, I’m asking myself if he’s a top or bottom. When you work as a lawyer you will meet lots of people and will need to assess them quickly without having to get to know them. I think you’ll find it easier to focus on that one core truth about the people you meet than to get bogged down in the details of their gender, their sexuality, their manners and posture. Those things can all easily fool you.” He stood and began cleaning up the mess from their breakfast.

“Sam, anyone who’s been in sales at any level has had training on how to posture themselves to appear confident and assumptive, how to shake a hand, work a room, run a meeting. But it’s fake. And what good is to have fake confidence? Ya?”

“Yeah,” Sam said, nodding along.

“You know, you can take a person and put them through the entire gender re-assignment process. But the most fundamental aspect of their personality will likely not change. They are still going to either be a top or a bottom. And…” he continued without stopping -

“…I have a theory,” said Max, shifting his weight, “that divorce is inevitable when a top marries a top or a bottom marries a bottom. I think that’s why the divorce rate is so high. Any two people can attract together but it’s the opposites that fit together well and can survive together in the long term. Because, again, it’s the one personality trait that just won’t ever change.”

“Damn” said Sam, astounded, “that all sounds brilliant. But, how can I tell a top from a bottom?”

“Simple.” Max said as he came to stand in front of Sam. “You figure out what _YOU ARE_. From there it's easy. Ever heard the expression ‘like speaks to like’?”

“Sure.”

“Once you know what you are… You will know your own kind. Everyone else is the other.”

Sam was absolutely stunned. There seemed to be a fundamental logic and truth to what he was hearing. It resonated with him. “Which are you Max?”

“You’re not even going to try, eh? You can give it some thought, ya?” he said smiling.

Sam stood and walked to the bed. He laid down and stared at the ceiling for a bit, reconsidering all of yesterday’s events with a new point of view. As he was thinking, Max came and laid beside him quietly.

Sam looked over at Max and said, “I think you’re a bottom.”

“And what makes you say so?” asked Max with a soft smile.

“Because. Because from the beginning, you were a team player. You weren’t controlling me. You were _with_ me. You were patient. You didn’t try to come out on top… and you were… so… confident. Not the strutting around fake kind – the real kind. The kind that’s confident enough to step down or step back when it’s appropriate without feeling lesser for it.”

“Ah… see Sam! You are better than you thought. You will be picking winning jury’s in no time.” He said with a pat to Sam’s shoulder. “Do you know what you are?”

“I’m not sure. I think I could argue a case for either one. Which do you think I am?”

“I don’t think it’s helpful for you to know my opinion. This is something you should learn of yourself on your own.”

“It’s just… I feel like I was a top until my dad died. Now I’m not anymore.” said Sam, slowly turning his head on the pillow to look at Max, “What do you make of that?”

“Sam, you know what I think. I’ve told you. This isn’t something that changes. You are at 80 what you were at 8. If you’re feeling out of sorts since your father’s death… that doesn’t mean you’ve changed from top to bottom. It just means you’re not yourself right now because you’re still grieving. Feeling vulnerable or weak can have a drastic impact on our lives. How long has it been?”

“Seven months.”

Max rolled toward Sam, wrapping an arm around his waist and enveloping Sam into a makeshift hug. “I’m so sorry, Sam.” He whispered.

Sam felt pin pricks in his eyes and tears started to fall before he could help himself. He stifled the urge to sob and worked hard to control his face – willing himself to hold it together.

Max moved the arm up from his waist and brought it up, cupping the side of Sam’s face. The gesture was kind, but Sam rebelled against it and the emotions that bubbled to the surface at the sentimentality. Max held firm, not letting Sam pull away. Slowly, Max was pulling Sam’s face toward his chest. “That needs to come out Sam. Let it go.”

Sam shook his head and clenched his eyes shut, trying to stop the waterworks. But Max kept on. “I live halfway around the world Sam… who will I tell? Just let it go.”

And with that, he did. He turned his face into Max’s chest and let gut wrenching sobs rack his body. He cried loudly and soaked up the feeling of being held by strong arms as he spilled his grief onto the man’s shirt.

He cried for all the things that his father would miss, things like holidays and weddings and grandchildren. He cried for all the misery that had accompanied the man’s death for his mother and himself and his brother. He cried for the emptiness he felt without his father and the ache of missing his brother and hurting his mother. But most of all, he cried over the gaping hole in his life where his father once was.

When he’d cried himself out and was enduring the sniffles and hick-ups that heavy crying induces, he felt Max’s hand wrapped tightly around the back of his neck. It was strong and reassuring. When he looked up to see his friends face, he found no judgement. He saw nothing but kindness.

Sam hoisted himself off the bed and went into the bathroom to wash up his face. When he came out he felt much better. Lighter.

“So…” said Sam, “Are we in agreement that I’m a top then? I sure cry like a top.” and with that they both burst out laughing. They slid into a long hug that ended with a shoulder clap from Max.

“You’ll be alright, Sam.”

“I’m better just from having met you.” He said honestly.

“Give me your phone.”

Sam watched as Max put his contact information in. He tossed it back to Sam. “Keep in touch if you want. I think we can consider ourselves friends, eh?”

“Damn right.” Said Sam. “Give me yours.”

 

 

 

Dean had been working hard on pulling together an itinerary for their trip. The appointments he’d made were spaced far enough apart to be able to complete some additional paperwork on each property as they saw it. He knew there would be additional ‘leg work’ required as they actually visited these locations and wanted to make sure they weren’t missing anything important because they’d try to go too quickly from one location to the next. It was looking like they’d be gone for three weeks.

The boys had worked together on a business plan and then Cas had embarked on the arduous process of applying for financing for their endeavor all over town. It meant a lot of meetings and paperwork and answering the same questions again and again.

When they received their first conditional approval, they had celebrated. They’d gotten several more since then. Cas was of the mindset that having multiple takers would mean the ability to play one against the other and negotiate better terms. It would also mean having back up if one institution decided to withdraw their approval.

Pam’s party was coming up in two days. Dean and Cas were spending the evening at home catching up on laundry so they could pack for the trip. Dean tossed Cas’ red swim trunks at him, licking his lips. “Make sure those get packed.” He grinned.

Cas smiled. Yes, it was a business trip. But it would be fun.

 

 

 

In the days that followed Sam’s ‘walk on the wild side’ he found himself beginning to think of things the way Max would. The more he paid attention… the more evidence there was that the man was right. They had exchanged a few texts, the latest of which was from Sam wishing Max a safe flight back to Berlin.

Sam told Ruby all the dirty details of his encounter with Max and she’d enjoyed hearing it. He could tell. He considered her a lot these days. He watched her closely and thought of her often. She was an incredible woman. It was an ache in his chest to know that he’d have to let her go.

After all, she was a top. Some would describe her as a dominatrix if they saw her little outfits and her punishments. But that was details. At the core of her – she was a top and she wouldn’t change.

He knew her well enough to know that she _needed_ to be a top. Her life with a manic, unfit mother had provided her instability and chaos in spades. She needed the control that she took in her sex life. It was a fundamental part of her. The only reason they’d been compatible at all was because Sam had been so vulnerable and small from the loss of his father.

He’d given it a lot of thought. She was a top. So was he. It couldn’t possibly work in the long term. And he owed it to her to tell her.

So, on Saturday morning, he did what he’d meant to do from the beginning. He took her to Cliff House for brunch. Their view was incredible and she was enjoying the outing, he could tell.

When they’d finished eating and were just sipping champagne and nibbling on the last of the strawberries he leaned in and told her that he appreciated all she had done to help him learn to be faithful, to help him study for his classes, to help him find the courage to finish school when he’d almost dropped out.

“I really hate to do this, Ruby, but I have to end our relationship.”

She looked at him for a long moment. Then she said, “Sam, did you even think this through? You’re dumping me here – and we have over an hour in the car together to get back to campus.”

“That’s your problem with this?” he chuckled at her tenacity.

“Well, I knew we were winding down, so I figured this was coming sooner than later. But your choice of venue is surprising.”

“I care for you. More than you probably know. I want nice things for you. I always wanted to bring you here and it’s where we had our first date… I guess I thought you would appreciate the gesture… the symmetry.”

“I do,” she smiled, popping a strawberry in her mouth.

“I’m really sorry.” He said to her.

“Don’t be. I always knew this day would come. We’re not really compatible. That’s why I blew you off at first.” She wiped her hands on her napkin and met his eye, “Do you remember how we talked the night you brought me here?”

“Yes.”

“So you remember me saying that I thought I could help you?”

“Yes. But I’m still not sure what you meant.”

“Haven’t I helped you Sam? You’ve learned to control yourself, to be honest with your lover, to see yourself and know yourself and use good decision making skills.”

He had to give it to her… she was right about all of it. Now he felt even worse. Like all he’d done was take and take from her.

“Don’t you dare look guilty like that.” She said firmly. His body responded to her tone immediately. “I have had a wonderful time with you.” She paused, searching for the right words, “You’ve done things for me that nobody has ever done. You treated me like a lady every moment. You took a trailer park girl home to meet your mother. You took me on my first real trip. You… you gave me a taste of the good life I’m working so hard to secure for myself. And,” she paused and leaned in so no one would hear, “You gave me some of the best sex I’ve ever had.”

They smiled at each other in understanding and appreciation. The ninety minutes in the car back to campus was not unpleasant. They agreed to remain friends and wished each other well. When they parted, he grabbed her hand. “Ruby? I will be out in the world for a year before you graduate and take the bar. But when you do please feel free to call me, even if we haven’t talked for long time, and I will introduce you around at Winchester Law. I’ll take you to some functions and introduce you to people you should know. I’ll get you interviewed if you want. I’ll help you anyway I can.”

“Thank you Sam.” She said softly as she leaned in a put one final kiss to his cheek. “You’re a good man Sam Winchester.”

“And you’re an incredible woman, Ruby Corteisse.”

When Sam had dropped her off at her dorm, he got back on the interstate and picked up his phone. He dialed a number that hadn’t been used in quite some time.

“Well hello Sammy,” purred a familiar stranger.

“Hi Meg. How are you?”

“I’m well, how are you?”

“Better. I’m doing better.”

“Good. To what do I owe the pleasure of your call?”

“I want to talk to you. Can I come over?”

“Sure. When will you be here?”

“About 20 minutes.”

“See you then Sammy.”

When he rolled up to her place and went in, he had no idea what to expect. With Meg it was usually a good idea to expect the unexpected.

She opened the door and invited him in, placing a whisky in his hands as he walked to her couch. She sat down with him and they turned toward each other, each bringing a knee up between them.

“I’ve missed you Meg.”

“I’ve missed you too Sammy. What’s changed? Are you no longer seeing…”

“Ruby.” He supplied. “And no. I’ve ended things with Ruby. That’s why I’m here. I also need to end things with you.”

“You already did that remember?”

“No. I told you that I couldn’t have sex with you while I was dating Ruby. I know how that translates between you and I. But I’m a different person now than I was when I met her. I felt I owed it to you to come here in person and tell you that if you and I are to remain friends, sex has to be off the table. Permanently.”

She was silent and looking down at their knees, not at Sam’s face.

“Nothing’s ever off the table permanently.” She said, “Not for anyone anywhere. It’s just not realistic.”

“Well, I feel differently about it so we’ll have to just agree to disagree.” He paused and reached out to pull her chin up so he could look her in the eye. “I care for you a great deal and I really do want to stay friends but my dynamic with you isn’t healthy for either of us and while we’re together, we’re keeping each other from meeting the person we’re meant to be with.”

He could see by her face that she wasn’t in agreement. But it was beneath her to try and argue him into something. It just wasn’t her style. She was going to let him go and wish him well. He could tell.

“Sam?” she said tentatively, “Who is the new girl?”

“What new girl?”

“The one you’re seeing now that you’re not with Ruby anymore.”

“There isn’t a girl at all.” He said firmly, “I have been blessed to have some very strong women in my life. My mom for starters. You for seconds. Ruby for thirds. Each of you has made me into the man I am now. But it’s time I learned to stand on my own two feet.”

“So you’re going to stay single for a while?”

“That’s the plan.”


	20. Packing Up

“Cas?”

“Yeah?”

“Have you seen my charger?” Dean asked walking into the bedroom.

“Yes, I’ve packed it. Can you just use mine?”

“Sure,” he said as he plugged in his cell and left it on Cas’ side of the bed to charge. He looked around the bedroom. There were two suitcases, two duffels, one garment bag and two backpacks spread out on the bed and Cas was working from a list on the dresser.  Clearly Cas had a system going and Dean was afraid to touch anything. “I can’t believe we’re leaving in less than 24 hours,” he said walking up behind Cas and forcing the man to be still by wrapping arms around his waist.

“Speaking of which,” began Cas, “I have it on my list to bring all of our related paperwork with us and I’ve got mine set up over there,” he said gesturing towards his massive vinyl collection which dominated the east wall. There were stacks of papers and folders resting on top of the albums and portable file folder cases laid out on the floor. “But,” he finished, “I didn’t want to put my hands on your stuff and risk making a mess of your system. Can you help me with it?”

“Sure,” said Dean running his left hand up and down Cas’ chest and feeling his taught stomach and pecks, “did you get me any of those handy file carrying things?”

“They’re in the bottom of the closet,” he replied, leaning into Dean, “help yourself. I was hoping that we could each fit our necessary business paperwork into a briefcase… I think I still might be able to condense down to that. Do you think you can?”

“I doubt it, but I can probably do with a brief case and one of those travel carriers.”

“Okay. Just remember that whatever you bring for paperwork, we have to carry it on. We can’t risk having it with our checked bags… we’d be royally fucked if they lost our luggage.”

“I’ll do my best,” Dean reassured him, planting a soft kiss at the bolt of his man’s jaw.

“Can you take a minute to throw your toiletries together? I’d like to cross that off my list.”

“Sure. Hey wait… what are you planning for our carry-on luggage?”

“Each a backpack and a briefcase.” He said firmly, “If you end up needing to carry the portable file folder then you won’t be able to carry on a backpack. Put’s a crimp in my plans.”

“Okay. Don’t worry,” Dean reassured him, “I’ll make it fit.”

“Thank you Dean.” Cas smiled, enjoying their embrace.

Dean hummed into the spot where Cas’ neck met his shoulder and then inhaled his intoxicating new aftershave. As Cas extricated himself from Deans grasp he smacked the man firmly on his ass and complemented the new scent. Cas smirked back at him from the other side of the bed, clearly trying to get re-focused on his work and avoid Deans distractions. Dean grinned at him and licked his lips, “Can’t wait to get you back in the jungle” he leered.

Dean saw that elusive flicker of a smile at the corner of Cas’ mouth as he turned to the bathroom to pack up his toiletries.

Cas had been playing Bob Marley albums all afternoon and a cloud of sweet smelling smoke hung over their bedroom as they moved about the room packing up their things and checking items off Cas’ lists. By five they were down to just paperwork. It was a righteous pain the ass to get all of Dean’s items in his brief case. But at the last minute Cas said his wasn’t full and donated some space to Dean’s last few important file folders and they found success.

They ended up sporting backpacks crammed with everything they’d need to survive for a few days if their luggage was lost and their briefcases to carry on the plane. Those were sitting on the table. Next to the door were the bags they’d be checking at the airport – a garment bag containing two suits each, a suitcase for each of them holding shoes and clothing, and a duffel each which held socks, underwear, pajamas and swim trunks.

Cas double checked his lists and then the men cleaned up all the papers that they were leaving behind. With a sense of satisfaction Dean looked at Cas and said, “I’m starving. Want to eat?”

“Sure. I need to get in the shower – we have to leave for Pam’s soon. Can you order us something?”

“Any requests?” he asked.

“Surprise me” smiled Cas as he headed toward the bathroom.

When Cas exited the shower, Dean went in. Cas followed the scent of pizza out to the kitchen. He grabbed himself a few slices and sat down in front of the TV while he ate. When he was finished, he went to the closet to pick out what he’d be wearing to Pam’s. He found Dean in the closet, nosing through the ‘toy boxes’.

“Don’t even think about it. We’ll be late.” he admonished the man.

“Yes, Dear,” teased Dean as he walked out of the closet. As he watched Dean leave, he noticed the man slipping a pouch of lube in his back pocket and smiled. Dean was an “always be prepared” Boy Scout in precisely one area.

He smiled, grabbing the shirt he’d be wearing and following Dean out into the bedroom as he buttoned it up. Marley was still playing. Dean was moving about the room as fluidly and rhythmically as a man could, without actually being accused of dancing.

‘Three Little Birds’ was playing and Dean’s happy mood was contagious. Cas moved up to him and tried to coax his lover into an actual dance. Dean followed his lead for a few glorious moments before stepping around him and grabbing the joint to re-light it. He shot Cas a wink as he inhaled and then asked how long until he was ready.

“Ten minutes,” Cas replied with a full smile. It was going to be a great night.

They took Cas’ car over to Pams. It was cold out and his heater worked faster. They took the elevator up to Pam’s with a small group of hipsters they didn’t know, but who were obviously headed to the same place.

When they walked through the door a cheer went up from the room. There was a ‘Bon Voyage’ banner hanging near the back which was large enough to be seen from the door. With those exceptions and the fact that there was food sitting out in the kitchen… it looked like any other of Pam’s parties. There were plenty of people here they didn’t know… just people who’d dropped by because Pam’s place was always the place to be on a Saturday night.

The boys headed for the kitchen first to grab drinks, but were met just a few feet in the door by Chris. He’d brought them beers and immediately pressed them both into tight hugs. Pam made her way over and immediately let them know that Michael was here with Anna and asked what she should do. Nothing they told her in unison. “Water under the bridge,” said Dean with an easy smile. She seemed surprised but happy that there would be no problem where she’d previously perceived one.

“Dean!” he turned toward the sound of a squealing girl.

“Jo!” he grinned as he wrapped her arms around her and lifted her tiny body off the ground. “It’s great that you came! How have you been?” he asked as he set her back down.

“Great,” she said as she turned to Cas and gave him a hug too. “It’s great to see you again Cas!” she exclaimed. He gave her a big smile before being pulled away by Chris for something.

“So,” he asked her, “What’s been going on with you?”

“Oh… not too much,” she practically cooed at him scratching her nose. “Not much is new…” she prattled, now touching her forehead and then running her hand down her face with a smile. For a moment he wondered what the fuck she was on. Then he realized she was sporting a giant diamond on her finger.

“Jesus, Mary and Joseph Jo! Look at that fuckin’ ROCK!”

“Not so much with the observation skills are ya Winchester? Thought I was gonna have to punch you with it before you saw!” she teased.

He hugged her again and asked who the lucky martyr was. Chuckling she reached out into the crowd and pulled on a shoulder.

A breath-taking young man turned to her and then swopped to her side. They shared a smile and quick kiss before she turned his attention to Dean.

“Dean Winchester, meet Matt Cohen.” She paused looking between them, “Matt this is Dean. We were at prep together and he’s the guest of honor tonight.” While they clasped hands, she looked around for Cas and grabbed him back from Chris’s side and pulled him into their little circle. “And this is Cas, the other guest of honor. Cas, this is my fiancé Matt Cohen.”

“Oh, nice to meet you!” said Cas loudly, trying to be heard over the crowd and the music.

“You too,” responded Matt. “So, I know you’re leaving but that’s all I know. Where are you headed?”

Cas began explaining their plans to the young man and Dean stood there sizing him up. He could see why Jo was head over heels. He was clearly a catch that mommy and daddy would embrace. Young, clean cut, elegant and charming.

His hair was jet black and shiny, the eyes were dark and sparkling, and his tan looked like it was a full time job. Even his teeth were perfect and white like a male model. The man was gorgeous.

As Cas delivered the details of their long term plans to Matt, Dean pulled Jo close and whispered in her ear, “Where did you find him?”

“Through a friend.”

“Damn.” Said Dean, thinking of what a hot couple they made.

“I know!” she was practically squealing again. It was obvious that the two of them were very much in love. It was nice to see.

They made their way to the kitchen and refilled their drinks. There was a line of people waiting to get plates of food. When they got closer they saw Anna and Michael waiting. Anna left Michael to hold their place in line and stepped out to hug the boys. She told them for the hundredth time how happy she was for them. She said that as soon as things calmed down for Michael, she was going to drag him somewhere for a vacation. As they were chatting there, Dean nodded to several people in line whose faces he knew but he had no name for.

Then, armed with drinks, they left Anna in line and headed back out into the party. They stopped briefly at the giant table to watch the drinking game of the night. A bunch of college kids were playing a rowdy game with ping pong balls and colorful cups. It didn’t appeal to Dean or Cas, but they watched for a few minutes out of curiosity before moving out into the crowd.

They headed for the couches and found Tom and Dave engrossed in a conversation with several young ladies. Seeing Dean, the men jumped to their feet and told the ladies that these were the guests of honor at the party. The girls drunkenly staggered over and hugged them each, actually saying the words “Bon Voyage” before flopping back to the couch together.

“Damn Tom,” said Dean laughing, “Didn’t think you’re wife let you out of the house anymore! I haven’t seen you in forever!”

“I know, I’m sorry,” he smiled with a guilty face, “You know, to be able to come here tonight… I had to bring her!”

Dean frowned at him, “What are you doing with the double mint twins over there if your wife is here?”

“Dean,” he said, “I’m reminding her that I’m still hot enough for other girls to want to fuck me. Maybe she’ll follow suit!” he laughed and slapped Dean on the back.

“Um, yeah man. Good luck with that,” he said scratching the back of his neck with half a smile. “And what about you, Dave?” how come it’s been so long since you’ve been around? Are you hiding a ball and chain somewhere too?”

“Nope.” He smiled with Cheshire grin, “I’m a very important man now!”

Dean played along in good humor as he listed to his old college buddy tell him about the promotion he’d received and the traveling involved. He made it sound like a real inconvenience to be gone so much; but it was easy to see that the man was loving it.  They settled in on the couches for a while and got caught up on the happenings in each other’s lives.

Cas jumped up to go say hello to someone and as soon as he was gone, both Dave and Tom leaned in and asked Dean if he had, indeed, switched teams. Dean chuckled and confirmed that he was living with Cas, that they were exclusive and very happy together. The men’s jaws both dropped.

“I don’t know which is harder to believe,” laughed Dave, “that you’re gay or that you’re monogamous!”

“Seriously Winchester…” said Tom, “You gotta miss the tits. You gotta!”

Dean grinned and shook his head. “We see tits whenever we want man.” he said laughing. “We go to the strip club whenever we feel like it.”

“Fuck Me!” said Tom. “You’ve fucking got it all Winchester!”

“Don’t I know it!” he smiled, “I bet I see more tits in a week than you do Tom!”

From his peripheral vision, Dean saw Cas moving toward him through the crowd and stood up. Cas leaned in and said that Cole and Kim where here. “Lead the way,” smiled Dean.

He nodded to his friends and followed Cas back toward the kitchen. Cole and Kim were waiting in line for food and Dean leaned in to hug them both and thank them for coming. “Thanks for making sure we got an invite Dean.” said Cole. “Are you guys all packed and ready?”

“Think so,” he said scratching the back of his head, “I know we’ve forgotten something but we won’t figure out what until we land in the third world,” he laughed. “Our phones didn’t work at all last time we were there so I don’t know why we packed our chargers. Habit?” he laughed.

They visited for a few minutes but when the couple were at the front of the line, Cas clapped Cole on the shoulder and said he’d let them get their food and see them later.

As they moved back out to the main part of the loft, Cas told Dean that he appreciated Dean having thought to invite Cole when it slipped his mind. Dean gave him a smiled and rested his hand on the man’s hip, leaning in closer than he needed to, and told Cas that Gabe and Robin were also expected at some point in the evening. Cas rewarded Dean with his very favorite smile. The big one that lit up his whole face.

They lingered there, in the doorway, close together with hands resting on each other. Just talking and enjoying a moment to themselves as the party swirled around them was nice.

Pam found them soon enough and offered to go to her room. They nodded and followed her through the crowd. As they stepped into her room, the scent of incense hit them. She closed the door behind them, muffling the sound of the party and stepped to the record player.

“Requests?”

“Hendrix!” Called Chris who was sitting on the bed. As Dean and Cas moved into the room, Chris moved over and gestured for them to join him on the bed. Soon the four of them were sitting in a circle on the huge bed and toking up while Jimi’s fiery guitar filled the room. They burned down two, enjoying their ‘inner circle’ feeling of comradery. Then they headed back to the party, angling through the crowd toward the kitchen to do some shots.  

When they got to the kitchen the food was gone, as was the line. Pam and Chris made short work of clearing the dishes from the buffet line and sliding the tables back to the wall. Then, she started pulling out bottles of liquor from a locked cabinet and laid out glasses for them all.

Within a few short rounds, Cas was swooning and grinning at Dean like a love sick puppy (or so Pam was telling him).

Dean had watched Chris move about the kitchen comfortably and asked him if he was living here. The man nodded in the affirmative and quickly told Dean not to make a big deal about it. “That’s a damn flighty pony,” he said, gesturing to Pam with a grin as she did a shot. “It’s only been a few weeks with me living here. I don’t want to scare her off!”

“You must be happy then, huh?”

“Fuck yeah!” he said loudly, clinking shot glasses with Dean and throwing back another.

Just then, Anna and Michael walked in. Cas hadn’t noticed them but Dean moved to Anna’s side immediately when he noticed that Michael was hanging on her for support.

“Hey,” he said to her with a smile, “Do you need some help here?”

“Yes,” she said appreciatively, “we need to get home, but he wouldn’t leave until he got to speak to you.”

“Oh?”

“Yes,” she said turning to Michael and taking his chin in her hand, “Honey, here’s Dean.”

Michael pulled his face off of Anna’s shoulder and looked Dean in the eye. “I have to tell you Dean. Have to tell you,” he slurred, “that I’m really fuckin sorry for what I did to you and Cas.”

“Water under the bridge man,” replied Dean with a good nature.

“Not yet it isn’t,” Said Michael as he leaned on the wall for support instead of Anna. “I know I’m shit faced. I just didn’t ever have it in me to tell you… needed liquid courage. You were always a more decent guy than I was in school. I was angry – even then. Felt shortchanged. Then when I saw you and Cas… it was just like a golden goose! I knew I could use it to get what I needed to make things right.”

Dean watched him carefully as he spoke. “I didn’t know man. I didn’t know what good people Cas and Anna are. Thought they were the enemy. I was wrong. You guys didn’t deserve what I did to you… to all of you.” He finished.

The man was way too drunk to be moving around propped up on a waif like Anna. He clearly had the spins.  Dean gestured to Pam and as she made her way over, he looked back at Michael whose eyes were red.

“Michael. Thank you.” He said calmly. “Now it really is water under the bridge ok? Let’s put it behind us,” Dean said firmly – extending his hand for Michael to shake. The man grasped it firmly and closed his eyes in a nod.

When Pam walked up, Dean asked if she had somewhere that Michael could crash. She called Chris over who worked with Dean to get Michaels body between them. Pam led the way to her studio which was in a corner of the loft that was closed off from parties.

Chris and Dean looped their arms around Michael’s waist and positioned his limp arms over their shoulders. They moved him through the crowd behind Pam and dropped him onto a couch in the dark near the back of her workspace. Pam grabbed a bucket and put it by his head before they left him. He was out cold.

They moved back through the party and when they got to the kitchen Dean explained to Anna where Michael was and encouraged her to enjoy the party for a while and they could take her home when they left. She thanked them but said she’d just stay until he woke and then drive him home when he felt better. Pam nodded that she’ had a place for Anna and the matter was closed.

It was getting late and Pam had other people she needed to talk to so she left them in the kitchen and went out to make her rounds.

Cas was looking the worse for wear. He was clearly hammered but Dean knew he wouldn’t want to leave until he’d seen Gabe and Robin. So, he headed out through the crowd to see if they were here. He located them at the table, not even 15 feet from the kitchen. Gabe was playing the ping pong game and Robin was cheering him on loudly. Dean grinned at them and then headed back to the kitchen to get Cas.

He winked at Chris as he pulled Cas away from their group. Cas was completely gone. He sort of glopped onto Dean and with Dean’s arm around Cas’ waist, they ambled out to the table.

Cas caught his second wind while watching Gabe play and cheering loudly next to Robin. There was a crowd gathered around the game and the spectators were all pushy and noisy. Dean had no idea how the game worked, but based on the cheers from the crowd… it seemed that Gabe was holding his own.

Dean watched Cas from across the table. “Careful Winchester, if you stare any harder you’ll burn a hole in him.”

Dean turned to see Jo at his arm and smiling up at him. He gave her a playful shove with his elbow. “You guys look great together,” she told him.

“I could say the same to you Jo” he said with a smile.

“Do you think he’s hot?” she asked him.

“Well, I can see that he is, yeah. But I don’t want to bone him if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Yeah, that’s what I was asking.” She said with a smirk. “I’m just trying to get used to us being on the same team.” She said laughing.

“Jo, I’m on everyone’s team!” he teased, “But I’m only for that man, right over there.” he followed up, pointing shamelessly at Cas.

As he said that, Cas met his eye over the table and Dean felt a snap of electricity. He told Jo he was getting ready to head out and wished her well with a parting hug. As he moved behind the crowd and over toward Cas, Cas was also moving toward him. They met in the middle and Dean slid his hand onto Cas’ hip. “You ready to go or do you need some more time?”

“I’m ready when you are.” He said into Dean’s ear.

“Let’s go say thanks and good-bye to Pam before we go.”

They moved together towards Pam’s room and Dean knocked on the door. She popped her head out, and when she saw who it was, she stepped out.

“Thank you very much for this amazing send off, Pam” said Dean as he pulled her into a hug.

“You’re welcome,” she said pulling Cas into the hug with them, “you boys be safe down there. Drink bottled water!” she teased, “And send us some pictures ok? We love it when you do that!”

As Cas and Dean moved to the door a few people slapped their backs on the way by. Before too long they were out in the cold night air.

Dean pressed Cas up against the car and slotted their mouths together in a kiss as he fished the keys from Cas’ pocket. Cas was drunk and sloppy and it was delicious. They climbed in and blasted heat, holding their cold hands in front of the warm air as it blew from the vents.

The drive back to their condo was quiet and uneventful. Cas’ head lolled against the window and Band of Horses played on the sound system as Dean guided the car through the darkened city.

By the time they arrived at home, Cas needed more than a little help getting to bed. Dean took care of getting his man down to boxers and under covers. Then he grabbed the trash can from the bathroom and laid it near Cas’ side of the bed (just in case). He put a bottle of water and a bottle of aspirin out on the nightstand for in the morning before turning off lights and heading for the other side of the bed. They needed to be at the airport at 1pm so they’d have to leave by 11:30. He set the alarm for 9am.  It was presently 2:30 am.

Dean fell asleep quickly and when the alarm went off at nine, he dutifully rolled over to Cas and got him to sit up. He didn’t look as ragged as Dean would’ve expected, but he pouted and demanded to know why he’d been wakened so early.

“Here,” said Dean holding out Aspirin and water, “take these and when the waters gone I’ll let you go back to sleep. Cas seemed to find that agreeable enough. He downed the pills and chugged the entire bottle of water.

Dean was poised and ready to grab the bucket if anything came back up. But Cas rested peacefully and was soon back to snoring. Dean took aspirin with some water too and then re-set his alarm for 10:30. He was back to sleep almost instantly.

When the alarm went off for real… Dean rolled over to the nightstand and grabbed a joint. He lit it and ran a teasing hand over Cas’ thigh to wake him nicely.

“Mhmm” was all Cas could say.

“Wake-N-Bake” said Dean, curling his body into Cas.

Cas sat halfway up and took the smoke from Dean.

“How you feelin?” Dean asked him.

“A shit ton better than I expected. Thanks for getting me up earlier. Sorry if I was cranky.”

“Not at all,” Said Dean. “But you know I’m not a good flier so if you can drive to the airport, that would be great. I’m gonna have a few drinks for breakfast.”

“I can drive. I’m fine. Hungry.”

“I’ve got you,” said Dean getting up from the bed. He went to the kitchen and returned with cold pizza for them. “Breakfast of champions,” he said as he passed the box across the bed. “I’m getting’ in the shower.”

By the time Dean had washed his hair, Cas had joined him. The man drooped next to him with his head resting on Dean’s shoulder. His lethargy didn’t inhibit his ability to give Dean a ‘good morning’ hand job. As Dean groaned and came against the tile under Cas’ firm grip – Cas kissed his stubbly cheek and said, “It’s the first day of the rest of our lives Dean.”

 

 

 

Sam looked out over the city. A freezing windy rain was blowing in off the bay but he could still see that the view before him was impressive. He turned his head to look at his realtor. “I like this one. The view is nice and the building is perfect. But it’s quite a way from my office. Can we put this on the ‘maybe’ list?”

“We can. But I wouldn’t be doing you any favors if I don’t warn you… this will be gone in a week.”

“Okay. I’d like to see what I can find that’s closer. I have plenty of time.”

As they exited the condo he’d just toured, he asked if that was the last stop for today. She indicated that it was and said she’d keep an eye on the new listings. She said she’d give him a call next week to go back out looking again. He thanked her and opened her car door for her before walking to his own car. Just when he tucked inside, the soft rain turned to torrential downpour.

He carefully guided his sleek Challenger out into traffic and headed back towards campus. He had studying to do.

 

 

True to his word, Dean had several shots of whisky before they left the condo. Now, as they found their seats on the plane, he relaxed back into the seat and winked at Cas. Being a bit over-tired would serve them well. They’d easily sleep through most of the flight.

As the drink cart passed by, Cas got himself a juice and Dean ordered another whisky and a water. Cas pulled a Dramamine out of his pocket and handed it to Dean, who downed it immediately. They ended up sitting on the tarmac for 45 minutes waiting for the rainstorm to calm enough for the plane to take off. It was a rough ascent and Dean looked a bit green, but he managed to hold it together.

Once they were to a cruising altitude, it quieted down quite a bit, and both men fell easily asleep.

Waking up for their connecting flight was not fun. They were groggy and listless. But they got through it and as soon as they were airborne again – they were back asleep. Each got up a few times to pee, but they slept for most of the trip.

When they touched down in Tegucigalpa they woke more easily. It was exciting to be back in Honduras. They had to board a much smaller plane for their flight east. Dean was skeptical when they first sat down. “Man, why didn’t I just rent us a car to drive over in?”

“Because you wanted to show your man how brave you are” Cas said in a snarky tone.

“Seriously… is this really an airplane? Why don’t they just put us in a big ball and throw us there?”

Cas laughed at Deans pouty and insulting attitude. “What’s our first order of business when we get there?”

“A break!” said Dean with a wide smile, “I booked us into the monkey huts for a night so we could have some fun before we get to work.”

Cas dropped his head to Deans shoulder. “That sounds perfect,” he said smiling.

“It should be more comfortable than last time too. Not so hot.”

 

Stepping into their ‘monkey hut’ was exhilarating. They’d had such a good time on their trip here. Returning to the US and finding their lives in upheaval had been difficult. The past few months had been _very_ difficult.

“This was a great way to start the trip, Dean,” said Cas as he flung his backpack on the bed and dropped his briefcase next to it. “I’m so glad you thought of it.” he said as he moved back towards Dean who was leaning in the doorway – bags having been dropped to the floor.

“You know what I’m gonna do first?” asked Dean playfully.

Cas looked up at him, waiting for the answer.

“You.” Said Dean, grinning wolfishly at Cas.

Cas smiled seeing the look in his man’s eyes. And without speaking he began to unbutton his shirt. Dean watched from the doorway - door wide open to the world as Cas gave Dean ‘fuck-me’ eyes from across the room. Cas didn’t blink. He just finished opening his shirt and then slid it off over his shoulders.

Dean watched as Cas slid his hand down his trim chest and brought his fingers to his jeans, slowly unbuttoning them and then sliding his hand inside.

Dean could feel the air moving outside and he could hear the throngs of birds calling out in the jungle, which cradled their cluster of huts. He watched, rapt, as Cas’ hand rolled inside his pants. As he continued to move, the open fly gaped more and more. Eventually the pants began to sag.

Cas watched Dean watching him hungrily. He glanced down at his fist, swollen head peeking out the top again and again as he moved his fist up and down his length.

Dean found himself appreciating how Cas looked. The man was cut. He had firm, defined muscles in perfect proportion to his frame. His form tapered the perfect amount from his shoulders to his hipbones… flat stomach firm and clenching as the man worked over his own cock.

Cas’ stance was wide, legs spread apart and firmly planted. He looked directly at Dean, chin lifted and proud knowing that he was being appraised.

Dean had always had an appreciation for the male form. Even when he was in his early teens, he’d always known which guys were going to get the girls… who had the pleasing faces and hot bodies. He learned early on not to stare. It made guys uncomfortable and he didn’t want to creep out his friends.

But he’d had a hard time not looking too long in the shower after practices and games. It didn’t necessarily feel sexual to him when he’d looked; he simply found it an appealing subject for looking. Much the way people will study a sculpture or painting that they like.

When men would shower or even sweat a lot, he liked the way the moisture made their skin glisten. He enjoyed watching men flex, even himself in the mirror. Sometimes he’d stand in front of the mirror to flex after doing pushups and it would lead to jerking off. In front of the mirror. He’d watch himself do it and come faster that way.

He didn’t realize until college that this appreciation for the male form was sexual. He’d spent all of his prep school days scheming to get laid, banging chicks and talking about banging chicks with his buddies. He worked not to stare at boys - and enjoyed what he got up to with girls. He didn’t think much of it.

However, one fantastic blowjob from Joe Ricketts at a party had changed everything. Initially he’d been put off by it, but he’d been horny (hell that was a permanent state from 13 – 23) so he had leaned back against the bathroom door and let it happen. He’d closed his eyes and told himself to pretend it was a girl. But it was the best blow job he’d ever had and he came far too quickly to pretend that he’d been uncomfortable with it for long.

In those early days of discovering his bi-sexuality he’d done a lot of thinking. Joe was a popular guy. Especially with the ladies. He chased as much tail as Dean did. So, clearly, Dean wasn’t the only ‘ladies man’ that found himself surprisingly willing to consider men as sexual partners.

He started watching carefully then. He watched the faces of all his friends and teammates intently as much as he could without being creepy. He found that he could make a guess as to which guys might be willing to go both ways simply by how they looked at other guys. There was just something a little different there. Their eyes lingered a moment or two too long.

Dean realized now, in hindsight, that it was the extra moment or two taken to appreciate the male form which gave them away.

Back then, when his sexuality was just becoming clear to him, he was glad he’d learned to hide his tendency to stare at other boys from an early age. It had been the key to not having anyone tell him what he was before he could figure it out for himself. That year, he began to allow himself to look. Discreetly.

He was interested in discovering that part of himself. But he was careful in his looking, not wanting anyone to call him gay while he pondered over the possibility of it.

With time, he found that appreciation for the male form and desire to engage in sex with a man were linked but not mutually exclusive. He could look at a man’s body and consider it nice, but that didn’t mean he wanted to fuck it. But there were some that he felt a pull to. His roommate Adam had been one of those.

Adam was handsome, had very kind eyes and a sweet smile. He was fun to hang out with. And, he was guilty of the occasional longer stare. Once Dean had started to notice, he found himself to be the subject of staring sometimes. He pretended not to notice.

But then late one night, with a solid beer and weed buzz, playing video games in their dorm room at 3am… he’d found the courage to lean in and touch his lips to Adams cheek in the hazy blue light of TV set. That had been the beginning of Dean actually admitting what he was and accepting it.

It had been many years between Adam and Cas. In all that time, with all the men he saw, met, knew… none had attracted him like Cas. Dean had noticed him from across the room, thought he was simply appraising an eye-catching man and appreciating his beauty. But when their eyes had met on the roof and Cas had turned the full weight of his stare on Dean… that was it. He’d never been the same since.

Now, here he was, in the middle of the jungle under a thatch roof, with the most attractive _person_ he’d ever met. By some shocking coincidence or trick of fate… that man felt for him too. It was an incredible thing to know the odds. But here they were... together. It had been difficult so far, but worth it.

Cas was tipping his head as he stroked now, that adorable thing he did sometimes when he was puzzled. Dean couldn’t help himself. He slammed the door to their hut and crossed the room in five steps. As he reached Cas, he dropped to his knees and looked up at his man.

Cas’ blue eyes were electric and Dean could feel the current moving between them when he rucked down Cas’ jeans and took the man into his mouth. Cas drew in a ragged breath and clenched his hands into Deans hair.

Dean sucked him down with all he had. He wanted to drink the man in, swallow him down. Dean was ravenous for Cas. The slurping sounds he was making filled the room and he wanted to bruise the back of his throat. He wanted Cas to shove his head down with force. He wanted to cough and gag as he tried to swallow. He wanted to give all he had; to give as much pleasure as possible to this man who lit up his life like no one else ever had.

He was overcome with the urge to suck – to fuck – to do every dirty thing he’d ever imagined or seen in a porno somewhere. His dick swelled heavy and thick in his jeans and as he pushed himself forward onto Cas, rocking on his knees, he was fumbling his own pants open to relieve the pressure of his throbbing cock.

Suddenly, understanding swept over Dean.

 _I get it_ – he thought _– I get why Cas wants to be spanked._

_I want to be spanked… I want to be bad…  and then I want to be punished!_

Dean worked hard for his lover, he thrust forward in a vicious rhythm and wrapped his arms tight around Cas’ thighs, encouraging his man to fuck into his mouth. He clenched his fingers tightly around the firm globes of Cas’ ass cheeks and slid hungry fingers in, probing for that puckered entrance which had suddenly jumped to the forefront of his mind.

The musky smell of dick was intoxicating and he paused to breathe it in deeply and look up at Cas’ face. He found his lover’s intense stare fixed on him – blue eyes shining and bright with lust as Dean worked over his cock and balls with an enthusiasm he’d never felt before.

Dean glanced up and watched the man’s chest heaving above him, felt his strong hands gripping in his hair, and tasted the pre-come that he was sucking out in tiny little teasing drops.

“Dean, I’m gonna…” and that was it. Dean felt his lover clench and then he was drinking the man down. He felt his gag reflex kick in and he fucking loved it. He fought it. He swallowed everything that Cas pumped into him and licked and sucked for more. He felt overcome with lust.

Cas practically had to pry Dean off his flaccid cock when he was spent. Dean was still rock hard, dick bulging from his open fly.

Cas staggered backwards a step and fell onto the bed in sweet exhaustion. His legs were still bent over the side with his jeans around his calves. Dean was still on his knees and began pulling off Cas’ shoes and socks and slid the jeans off too.

Free of clothes, Cas slid further onto the bed, still breathing heavy. Dean followed, dropping the book bag and briefcase to the floor and climbing up on the bed. He pushed Cas’ legs apart and took that wilted cock back his mouth where it fucking belonged.

He looked up at Cas and found the man looking at him with questioning eyes. He came off that dick for half a second and said, “I’m just gonna keep this warm for you. Do what you like.”

“Dean, I don’t…understand…”

“I can’t explain it Cas.” He said, hating to not have that dick in his mouth even for a second, “I feel so fucking dirty. Like I could come 5 times and it wouldn’t be enough. I want you to use me and fucking hurt me. I believe you could spank me and fuck me right now and it still wouldn’t be enough to satisfy me.”

With that, he put his mouth back on Cas’ cock and rolled it in his mouth gently, laving at it to clean the last of the jizz off of it and keep it warm and wet until Cas wanted to do something else with it.

“Do you want to fuck me Dean?”

“No. I want to _be_ fucked. Hard.”

“I’m sorry…” said Cas softly, “… I can’t… I came.”

“S’okay Cas. I’m just gonna keep this warm and wet for you. When you’re ready… Do your worst to me.”

Dean rested his head on Cas’ thigh, he wasn’t sated. But he felt satisfied for now, with the weight of a cock on his tongue and his lover’s heavy breathing filling their hut.

“Dean. I thought I was the one that got wild in the jungle,” laughed Cas quietly.

Dean smiled around his man’s junk like a baby with a pacifier.

 

 

 

When Sam arrived back at Campus, he went straight to the library. He sat down to do homework in the quiet area. Before starting in, he checked online for study groups for each of his classes and emailed their leaders to request to join.

 _Well, back to the land of boring studying_ – thought Sam.

He had a few weeks left before finals. Once that was over he’d have to start studying for the bar. He was allowing himself a few weeks for that but didn’t want to wait too long out of the fear that he’d lose momentum.

He felt ready for the challenge of it all. Finishing school was a big deal, obviously. But it was more than that. It was moving from student housing to a real place, it was being responsible for the fate of his clients, it was joining the board of directors for their meetings and voting responsibly this time.

He was certain that the board had formed a pretty low opinion of him by now. First he voted to fire his brother and then dropped contact all together. No responses to emails or phone calls… nothing. Now that he was finishing school and coming to work there - they’d have to tolerate him.

But hopefully, in time, he’d be able to show them all that he was more than the bratty son of the incredible man and mentor they’d lost.

Perhaps, if he worked hard enough, they’d look past what he’d done and accept him. He would try his best. If it didn’t work, he decided, he could sell out his shares… just ‘cash in his chips’ and either start his own firm or join a competitive firm. It was a last resort, true. But it was a possibility if all else failed.

 

 

 

Dean’s first attempt at cock warming didn’t go well. He kept having to take his mouth off Cas to answer the man’s questions. Then he’d had to answer the door when their luggage had finally been delivered. Then Cas had to piss.

Dean had urged Cas to just go. Dean had fully intended to swallow it down. But Cas just thumped him on the back of the head and said to get off of him.

Watching his naked man strut to the bathroom had caused him to chuckle, and the grin that Cas tossed back over his shoulder was equally funny.

By the time Cas returned, the noise of the toilet flushing killed the last of his residual feelings of depravity. He sat up on the bed and thanked Cas for not pissing in his mouth. They had a laugh over it as they dressed to go eat some dinner.

“So…” said Cas teasingly, “You were really thinking you’d be my cock warmer?”

“Felt good at the time,” laughed Dean.

“Well, where did we land on the spanking, then?” Cas asked boldly, “is that on the table in the future or did that fade out with the urge to take a golden shower?”

Dean huffed a laugh, “I think spanking’s on the table anytime Cas.”

“What about the hard fucking?” pushed Cas, “I was looking forward to that!”

“Oh… you might’ve missed your window on that one,” he grinned as they entered the main building and headed to the restaurant.

 

They sat out back in the open air seating while meat cooked on skewers over a pit and smoked tantalizingly. They discussed the first property they were seeing which was happening in the morning. It was resort in distress on the biggest island. Besides that, Dean had two islands for them to see, and a dozen or so mainland properties spanning the coast between Belize and Nicaragua.

They had a few destinations in the Caribbean Islands to see, but Dean was holding those for last. He considered those islands to be a saturated market for resorts. He was convinced they’d find themselves discounting on Travelocity just to stay in business. He thought their vision should be something off the beaten path… something wild and adventurous that was also private by geography so stars could easily be hidden there – away from the prying eyes and long range lenses of the paparazzi.

The bulk of their trip would be concentrated within a relatively small section of coast and would require lots of research into the building codes and construction standards in each area so that they could make a solid decision about what they were getting into with each location before making their final decision.

As much work as that sounded like… it ended up being more.

They spent dozens of hours each week researching everything from logistics for their current area to labor laws and building codes.

For each property they looked at they had to decide how much it would cost to build a resort there, whether or not there would be local labor sufficient to staff it, where security would be hired from, how the guests would arrive (a huge issue at almost every location), how they would get their supplies, and what government entities would be involved in their operations (who would they have to pay off to get it done?).

There were other considerations too. Insurance, for starters. Hurricanes and other natural disasters played into it and so did the proximity of the nearest hospital and airport. It was very frustrating.

They managed to carve out time to do a few fun things while they were there. Mostly the chances for that arose when they were scouting out the local attractions to see what each area already offered. They’d check out a local tour company by showing up and taking one of the tours.

They were tired each night, so they weren’t having much sex. The wildest night they had on the entire trip was that very first one.

They’d gone to bed shortly after dinner that night, exhausted from being on the plane most of the day. But Cas had found himself worked up from Deans sudden outburst of deviant sexual appetite. He slept a little, but for the most part, he dozed in and out of a fitful sleep filled with dreams of he and Dean doing VERY nasty things to each other.

Shortly before 4 am when the first monkey shriek woke them, Cas couldn’t help himself. He grabbed Dean with force and flung him across the bed on his stomach. He ripped the man’s cotton sleep pajamas right up the seam of the inner thigh and fucked in hard. He used lube, but not much prep.

Dean was screaming out at the top of his lungs while Cas pinned him down and fucked him within in an inch of his life. No one, not even Cas, heard a thing over the shrieking, howling, roar of monkeys thumping wildly over the roofs of their huts. When it was finished, Cas fell at Deans side, completely exhausted. In the sudden quiet after the passing of the animals, Dean looked over and said, “Where was all that 10 hours ago?”

They were into their second week when they found the first property that they were actually excited about. It was located far south of the existing tourist lodgings and it was VERY private. In fact, it was SO private that there weren’t any roads to it. They had to visit it by boat. They would’ve had to hike several miles to get to the nearest _dirt_ road. There were two villages nearby whose economy was a combination of agriculture and fishing but both were very small. It was almost 15 miles to the nearest paved road.

There were several things that made the property special. First and foremost, it was cheap. Because it was out of the way and had limited access it was being sold as farmland despite the duality of being ‘zoned’ for development.

Geographically speaking it was a gem of an area. There were lots of little lagoons dotting this part of the country, but most were shallow and would be subject to easy flooding. Additionally, their use for watersports was limited due to the shallow bottom.

But this place had a very deep lagoon with beautiful water quality and almost no development. There were shanty’s and shacks dotting the southern boarder but on the north end where the boys were looking? Nothing at all. Farmland for miles.

This ‘farmland’ consisted primarily of rice patties in natural slews and in the higher and dryer areas… banana trees.

If they bought this property, it would give them a huge slice of the land that separated the deep lagoon from the ocean. The north end of their property would boarder the channel that connected the lagoon to the open ocean. The south end of their property would be close to the nearest dirt road. To the east would be beautiful blue ocean rolling in on a picturesque beach and to the west would be the vibrant waters of the lagoon. In between, was thick jungle with mature trees and wildlife dotted with fresh water lakes.

Ultimately, this place had everything they wanted. It was remote. It was wild. It had a long stretch of beautiful sandy beach. It had a long stretch of canal access. (In other words, they had access by boat to both salt and semi fresh water). It was known as Kaski area and the lagoon was called Laguna de Caratasca. It was the biggest in Honduras. It was beautiful.

The day they saw the place they were out hiking it until almost dark. By the time they were docking, it was pitch black and they were shining the spotlights for their realtor so he could tie it off.

They cancelled all visits that were scheduled for the future and hunkered down at a shitty hotel about an hour north of there to begin the area research. It was a routine they’d come to know well. Over the next few days, the results of their efforts yielded them a half dozen problems that were potentially deal breakers.

For starters, everything they were saving by buying this land cheap, would eventually end up costing them more for development. They would literally have to build _roads._

 

Additionally, the local population was simply not sufficient to use as a labor pool to run a resort of the size they were planning. They would end up having to shoulder the additional costs of ‘bussing in’ labor from surrounding villages. Not ideal.

Another issue was the lack of foundation. They couldn’t build high here… they would have to build a different type of resort then they’d been planning – it would end up being a sprawl.

Getting supplies was going to be a huge issue. They would have to find a way to bring in supplies by truck or boat. Not much was coming in to the current villagers who were too poor to support any real commercial or retail shopping. It was truly like being in the third world.

Last, but not least, was the consideration of the guests. The nearest airport as an hour away and it boasted a dirt runway. The drive from the airport to the resort couldn’t be a straight shot because there was no bridge over the river.

Essentially the place was a nightmare. Why did it have to be so perfect??

 

 

 

Sams fingers rolled over the screen and pulled up his contacts list. He hovered over his mother’s name. Then he hovered over Dean’s name. He even briefly considered calling Cas. But in the end, he put away his phone.

 _Let me take finals and make sure I’m going to actually graduate before I start worrying about who will come see me graduate_ – he scolded himself.

He returned his thoughts to his studying and tried to focus on one thing at a time. He had the rest of his life to try and make amends with his family. He had a finite number of days between now and final exams. So, that’s where his focus needed to be.

 

 

 

Dean and Cas came to a point where they weren’t inclined to do any further research or planning for this location until they’d decided for sure if they were going to buy it. They went out to dinner and while they waited for their food, they began pro’s and con’s lists for this location.

When that was finished – they wrinkled up the lists and threw them away. “Well,” smirked Dean, “That was an exercise in futility.”

“Let’s make a problem list and brainstorm solutions.” Said Cas. Then tomorrow we can look into the cost of the solutions. It’ll probably be a good indicator of whether or not we should walk away.”

“Run. Run away!” laughed Dean.

Their list of ‘deal breaker’ problems began with the roads. They agreed that paved roads were needed within the resort but outside the resort dirt roads would be sufficient and agreed to check on the cost of actually building roads in Honduras.

Dean proposed that to offset the cost of the building of roads, they could forgo building themselves a house (which they had planned to have nestled on the beach near the resort) and actually live in a room at the resort. Cas was surprisingly agreeable to that.

Cas wanted to look into setting up a windmill or two for independent power. Both men thought it was worth considering.

In regards to the shortage of workers, Cas suggested buying a bigger boat then they had initially planned on. They could use it like a ferry to go up the shore line, in the shipping lane, and pick up supplies at the main docks. It would be much faster than trucks and would eliminate the obvious financial drain of having to build a bridge across the river.

Dean mentioned using the boat to ferry workers from up north where there was a surplus.

Their biggest remaining problem was the transportation of guests. The ferry boat would be useless in that respect. The airport was landlocked.

“We’ll have to buy a plane.” Said Cas.

Dean rolled his eyes and looked back down at his notes, searching for some viable idea.

“Don’t blow me off Winchester, I’m serious. We should buy a plane… we have tons of space on the property. We could have our own landing strip. Fly over to pick up the tourists at the airport and then give them a show on their way in. The plane could help bring in supplies too. And it can be used to get to more remote locations for the ‘adventures’ you’ll be putting together for our guests.”

“Maybe a helicopter then, so it would be easier to land in the wild,” teased Dean. Cas wasn’t laughing. Dean’s chin dropped. “So, what… buy a plane and hire a pilot?”

“Or a helicopter, Dean. I’m not picky,” smiled Cas, “And I don’t think we’d need to hire a pilot. You could be the pilot” said Cas with a straight face.

“Dude. I hate. Hate. Hate to fly.”

“I know,” smiled Cas, “because you’re a passenger. You’re not in control. You don’t have the steering wheel in your hand like you do in the Impala. If you were _actually flying_ the plane, I bet you’d be fine. You’d probably love it.” He enthused. “I’m not kidding Dean… Fuck the freedom of the open road, Dean… Fly the friendly skies!”

“If you start singing, ‘Be All That You Can Be,’ then I’m walking out,” laughed Dean.

They spent another week in the area. Then they bought the place.

They spent a day hiking the area and taking pictures of the proposed sites for everything… the main office, the staff quarters, the restaurant and bars and beach club and watersports and then they spent hours loading and sorting all the pictures by location. They emailed a folder of pictures to Mary with the Subject line reading, “Look What We Just Bought!”

Once they were back in the states they were busy with their financing company and the preparations to actually close escrow on the property. They did more and more research on how best to do what they needed for the site in the most cost effective way.

In their spare time, they began packing up their things.

They were moving to Honduras.


	21. The Soundtrack of Our Lives

“You’ve been staring at that model for a week,” said Dean, “What are you doing? Trying to melt it with your mind?”

“I’m just not happy with how it’s coming together.”

“Well, what’s your biggest issue with it?” he asked, sitting down at the table with Cas.

“There’s nothing special about it. It’s not going to be high enough to have views of the beach and the ponds aren’t really the kind of swimming that anyone over the age of eleven is going to want. So, there’s just nothing that really makes this stand out from other resorts. We’re probably going to be better off just squeezing as many units as we can along the beach and moving the restaurant and lounge to the lakes. But, that’s awkward to travel for the guests… I just can’t do anything with this layout that really makes me proud.”

Dean didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say.

“I want to be proud of what we build Dean.”

“Me too Cas.”

“It has to be different. Special. People have to go home and tell their friends… something unique and specific that made it amazing. Like us, when we were told about the monkeys, remember? We dropped everything and headed straight there! We did that because once we were told about it… we couldn’t get it out of our heads! We’d never heard of anything like it and just _had_ to go.” Cas was frustrated. Dean could tell. “I want to offer that kind of experience to people. The kind that they go home and gush to their friends about. That’s what’s going to get people in the door and paying top dollar. There’s nothing on this model that they can’t get in any resort in any town with a beach. It’s just so _mediocre_.”

“Are you comparing our property to Jersey Shore?”

Cas chuckled, “I guess not. I’m just trying to think of something… a unique thing we can do... something that sets us apart.” He took a deep breath, “I’m trying to think out of the box.” He folded his arms on the table and laid his head on them, “Out of the box isn’t exactly my area of expertise,” he sighed.

“Come to bed,” said Dean, laying a hand on Cas’ shoulder, “Maybe we’ll have an inspiring dream tonight.” Dean kissed the top of Cas’ head and waited for the man to get up and follow him to their room. Cas sighed reluctantly and stood, stretching, then finally let Dean tug him towards their bedroom.

“Can you put on a record?” Cas asked as he moved to the bathroom.

“What do you feel like?”

“Something happy.” Cas muttered as pulled out his toothbrush.

When he came out of the bathroom, Dean was listening to the Beatles and singing along as he rolled a joint. “You looked like you could use this,” smiled Dean.

Cas crossed the floor and, rather than walking around the bed to his side, he pushed himself over Deans legs and flopped down. He laid down close to his man, wrapping his arm around Deans legs and leaning in to rest his head there – just to be close.

Dean reached down and petted the top of Cas’ head. He was singing along to ‘Here Comes the Sun’ and it didn’t take long to lighten Cas’ mood. He began humming along and, as they lounged in bed and listened to the album, a notification of a text came through on Dean’s phone.

“Could you see who that is? I’ve got my hands full.”

“Sure,” said Cas, squirming over to the other nightstand and pulling Deans phone off the charger to read it.

“What’s an Ewok?” Cas asked.

“What? Who is that from?”

“Charlie Bradbury.”

Dean chuckled. “What is she saying about an Ewok?” he asked.

“She said that she’s in the line behind one at Wal-Mart.”

“Okay… why is she at a damn Wal-Mart? That’s my biggest question.” Dean responded laughing.

“Oh… she sent a picture.” Cas said, waiting for the image, “Oh my.” He grimaced – holding the phone out for Dean to see.

“Fuck Cas! That belongs in a zoo! Tell her that’s not an ewok it’s frickin bigfoot!”

Cas tapped out Deans reply and said, “Again Dean, what’s an ewok?”

“You’ve never seen the Star Wars movies have you?”

“No. I suppose you’re going to tell me that my life won’t be complete until I have.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” he chuckled, “but we should put it on your list of…” his voice trailed off and his eyes glassed over.

“Dean?”

“Oh Cas…”

“What?”

“I’ve fuckin' got it!” he said, face lighting up like a kid at Christmas, “I fucking really got it!” he yelled as he leaps from the bed and heads down the hall. Cas was scrambling off the bed with his eyes fixed on Dean.

“Got what?” he said, following Dean out of the bedroom, “Dean? You’ve got what?”

Dean didn’t speak again. He didn’t stop until he arrived at the model of the resort they’d been tinkering with on the table.

“I’ve got an idea for that ‘something special’ Cas. For ‘that thing’ that people will rave about when they get home. I’ve fucking GOT IT!” he rejoiced – grabbing Cas and jumping up and down like a school boy.

“Share with the class Dean.”

“Tree houses. Like the ewoks had. We build a network of fucking tree houses! They’ll be tall enough to see the beach and the lagoon side… they’ll be unique and people will fucking love it. They’ll have 24/7 views of the wildlife. It’s fucking perfect!”

“Tree houses,” repeated Cas as his brain processed the idea.

“Fuck yeah, Cas. We’ll have rope bridges connecting them all and we can set up some cool rope swings and stuff from the cabins and maybe incorporate zip lines or ski lifts or… oh my god… the possibilities are endless!”

Cas began to smile, finally able to grasp where Deans vision was taking him. He reached for Dean and Dean reached back, their hands finding each other’s arms and grasping on as their minds began running with the idea.

“It could be embellished a lot to add to the adventure theme you wanted to have Dean! We could have rope swings and poles to slide down for the kids… maybe even a slide. And hammocks between the trees.”

“Cas, we need to find out where we can find a carpenter who can help us build this.” Dean grinned ear to ear and ran for the bedroom. “There’s a show, isn’t there? A show about a dude who makes awesome tree houses? I’m gonna google it and see what I can find out!”

Cas laughed watching Dean grab his laptop and launch himself onto the bed with it. His enthusiasm was catching and Cas felt that Deans idea was incredible. If they could build something like that… it would be very unique… exactly the kind of off distinctive idea that Cas had been racking his brain for.

He stood watching Dean for a moment before sitting back down on the bed with him.

“Pete Nelson, Cas,” said Dean as he looked up from his laptop, “that’s his name – Pete Nelson. We’re gonna want to try and get a hold of him.”

“Dean, if he’s already busy with a show he might not want to take the time for a project like ours.”

“Or,” said Dean, waggling his eyebrows, “he might want to do it and film it and then we get publicity from people watching the show!”

Cas smiled watching Dean work. He was already combing the internet to try and find some information he could use to track this guy down.

Cas’ mind was still building on Deans idea. He was thinking of the freshwater lakes that dotted the property and seeing them in a new way – an adventurous way. He didn’t say anything to Dean yet. He was going to let Dean get this idea fully developed before he detoured the man’s attention with another idea.

Cas began scribbling notes on paper while Dean worked, just of the few finer points he feared he might forget. Then, he laid back in satisfaction and watched his man work, excited and inspired and fresh with a brilliant idea. It was a thing to behold. Cas smiled and continued to watch Dean, even when his eyelids got heavy and he started fading off to sleep.

 

 

 

Sam glanced at his watch. It was after midnight. Their study group had come out for drinks after they'd finished, and they’d had a nice time. But Sam didn’t want to continue to get drunk with his group. They were fun, and there was more than one decent looking girl flirting with him. But he wanted to retain what he’d learned. And, he wanted to be fresh for class in the morning. He begged off at 12:30 and headed home.

That was responsible of me, he thought as he crawled into bed. Huh.

 _Good boy, Sam._ He thought to himself.

 

 

 

The next few days flew by. Dean had managed to get in touch with Pete Nelsons people and schedule a meeting. He and Cas now had two weeks to come to an agreement on a clear concept of what they wanted. They began by watching a few episodes of the 'tree house show' so they could understand the dynamic between Pete and his clients… then they watched a few more because they were interesting and fun.

Dean called Mary and invited her over. When she arrived, he made popcorn and sat down on the couch with her. They watched a few episodes back to back, with Dean explaining what he and Cas were planning, as they watched. He’d been taking notes as he watched… anything he thought might be a feature they’d want to incorporate for the resort went into his notes.

Mary pointed out that they’d also need a regular contractor to handle the things that a normal hotel would have to think about. Things like how to make sure that each room could have hot water at the same time, how to create some handicap accessible units and how to be sure they were up to code for everything. It was a good point. He added it to his notes with a reminder that before hiring anyone he’d need to be sure that they were willing to work in partnership with Pete so there’d be no issues with the two main contractors not cooperating.

Cas joined them after a while, bringing out a plate of sandwiches from the kitchen and getting Mary a soda. They had a nice lunch at the coffee table in front of the TV.

“You know what else?” Mary asked.

“What mom?”

“The glass. You’re going to want to be sure and consult some about the glass you’re using that high up. The birds won’t see regular glass and they’ll constantly be flying into it. Nothing will disturb your guests more than having to step over a dead bird every time they go outside.”

Dean added that to his notes.

“I’m so proud of you boy’s” she told them. “You’ve really found a way to make the best out of a bad situation. Life handed you lemons and you’ve…”

“Done a shot!” interrupted Dean laughing. He pulled her into a hug. “Thanks mom. That means a lot to me.”

 

The boys spent the majority of their free time discussing the specifics of what they’d like the tree houses to look like and how they should function. They wanted to be sure that each had at least a balcony of sorts, maybe even one that wrapped around the entire thing.

They also thought that the houses should vary in height so that people would have the illusion of privacy despite being relatively close together.

They wanted to surround several trees with a large deck where tables could be set up. It would serve as a place for guests to meet for excursions and could double as a bar if all went well.

Cas added that they’d need a storm shelter, and an evacuation plan in case inclement weather was a threat. “I think it’s better to incorporate that into our plans now, rather than waiting til after we’ve built and then having to spend more to add it in hindsight.”

“I agree.” Said Dean, adding it to his notes.

“I have an idea for the ponds. Is now a good time?”

“Yeah, Cas. What is it?”

“Well, basically, houseboats. But with a theme.”

“I’m listening.”

“Each pond is hidden from the others. So they can each be their own little environment, each unique.” He said as he tore a blank page from Dean’s notebook and began to sketch. “I’m picturing this as an enticement for families. We build a houseboat on each pond. It floats. There’s a walkway out to it that floats. That’s unique in itself. But then we build the place into a giant playground. We string ropes from the trees that the kids can use to swing from the trees and into the water.”

“I like where you’re going with this Cas,” interrupted Dean.

Cas smiled and continued with greater enthusiasm, “We can have rope ladders over the water that boys will want to climb on and when they fall… they fall into water. And, we can anchor logs on chains to the bottom. Kids will spend hours trying to walk on them and keep falling in. They’ll have a blast. There’s so many things we can do like that… I have tons of ideas.”

“And,” interrupted Dean – unable to contain his enthusiasm, “while the kids are spending hours with that… Mom and Dad get to fuck for a change!”

“Exactly” smiled Cas.

It was perfect. Dean had been wondering how they’d make use of those ponds. It wasn’t good swimming for adults. Adults like a nice clean and aesthetically pleasing swimming pool. Preferably with a swim-up bar. Kids? Kids want to climb. Run. Jump. Fall.

“Put it in your notes Dean, we need to staff a nurse.”

Dean nodded, scribbling furiously as Cas continued. “Maybe I’m taking it to far now, but I was thinking each pond could have it’s own theme. We could have one that looks like a castle and the pond will end up being a mote around it. That would work best on the little pond.”

“There could be one that’s a pirate theme…” Cas continued, “We could even do your ewok thing.”

Dean favored Cas with is favorite smile. The one that showed his teeth and crinkled the corners of his eyes. _Damn those eyes are electric._

Both men were buzzing with the possibilities of it all. Clearly these were the fun things to talk about. But they also made sure to begin preparations for the windmill that they planned to use for power and that was going to be a challenge. They’d need permission from the local government just to build it. Then they’d need to have it shipped to the third world and build on a site with a sand foundation. It was daunting.

They’d need a boat and off road transportation immediately upon arrival so they began negotiations on the purchase of those items as well. Dean was hoping to use jeeps.

They kept in touch with the realtor regarding closing and to get answers to their specific questions about the local area and people.

And, they made arrangements for Dean to begin acquisition of his pilot’s license.

Cas contacted a San Francisco realtor who was a friend of a friend, and listed his condo as a rental. He figured that since he couldn’t sell it, renting it out would offset the expense of keeping the taxes and insurance paid on it as well as the maintenance required. He procured a property management company to look after it in his stead.

The condo was going to be listed as furnished but the boys needed to go through it and take anything they wanted to keep for themselves. So, they spent hours boxing up their personal items like pictures and art.

They began putting the boxes into two separate stacks. One stack would wind up in Mary’s basement with the things Dean was already storing there. The other stack would be addressed to them in Honduras and shipped.

As they went through the closet, Dean busted out laughing. “Cas… let’s make damn sure we don’t accidentally wind up with our dirty 'toy box' stuff at moms ok?”

Cas laughed along and jokingly added, “I think we can just throw away your door swing. We’ll have much better available in our tree house!”

“My man is a perv” laughed Dean as he taped up a box.

Dean suddenly stopped taping and looked up at Cas. “Oh my god. We’re gonna live in a tree house, aren’t we?”

“I thought that was the plan,” said Cas slowly, giving Dean a questioning look.

“I’ve been so excited about the tree houses because it will make a cool resort.” Dean said as he leveled a heavy stare at Cas, “I didn’t even think about us, personally. We’re gonna fucking _live_ in a tree house. That’s so awesome!”

Cas smiled back at him, loving every moment of Deans obvious happiness.

“Are you okay with that Cas? Does that appeal to you at all?”

“Yes, Dean. It does. I love it too. But even if I didn’t, I’d still want to go there with you. I’d rather be where you are. Even if it was shitty… I’d still rather be with you.”

Dean moved slowly, rising from a squat and walking a few steps to Cas. He pulled the man into a lingering kiss and began backing him out of the closet and towards the bed.

They made love slow that night. Dean’s mind was completely focused on how special all of this was. Mostly because he was doing it with the best friend he’d ever had. As he drifted off to sleep, he was imagining what their life would be like there… making love in a tree house with the sounds of the jungle as their music, watching the sun rise over their bed, hiking through the thicket with Cas at his elbow, riding along the beach in a jeep with him – salty wind blowing through their hair.

Dean’s heart was full of love for Cas and his mind was alive with the possibilities before them. That night his dreams were vivid and colorful and exciting. He didn’t want to wake.

 

 

 

Sam was waiting in line. He hated waiting in line. The guy in front of him was annoying and the group of girls squealing behind him made him want to puke. He was tempted to turn and remind them that they weren’t in a bar on spring break right now. But he kept his mouth shut and forced himself to relax. He reminded himself that just because he was having a 'moment'… that didn’t mean everyone else was having the same ‘moment’.

 _This is it_ – thought Sam. _This is really happening_.

He stepped up closer to the front of the line and his mind took him back to his first day at Stanford. It had been a beautiful California afternoon with a clear sky and warm sun. He’d been looking around, taking everything in as his mother and father walked with him through the campus. It had seemed so big then… larger than life… its own city. It took them forever to find his assigned space and then he’d waited impatiently for them to leave so he could start his new life here. How foolish could a person be… wishing his parents away like that. He’d give anything… _anything_ to have them both here with him now.

He stepped up to the front of the line and spread his legs a shoulder width apart, standing tall. Then he watched as a man and woman worked a tape measure and note pad to get his measurements for his cap and gown.

 

 

 

Dean walked into the bedroom and saw Cas staring blankly at his record collection. He moved to the bed and sat down. “Are you just trying to choose one? Cause you look like you’re making a life and death decision.”

“I’m trying to decide what to do with these.” He said calmly. “I’m thinking I should just sell them.”

“Don’t you fuckin’ dare, Cas!” Dean said firmly. “Why would you even think of doing that?”

“Well, what do _you_ think I should do with them?” he asked quietly.

“We pack them and we bring them the fuck along.” Dean answered tersely. _Why am I cranky?_

“They need a controlled environment Dean. We can’t keep them in a tree house. All the covers will get ruined. They’ll end up worthless. I’d rather take them to Vinyl Fever where other people can buy them and take care of them right.”

“We’ll be careful with them Cas. But even if we ruin them… you've said you buy them for your enjoyment not to impress collectors, right?”

“Yes.”

“So let’s enjoy them. C'mon man, bring them along.”

“You really want to go to all that trouble? Shipping all these? Carrying them up to a tree house and finding a way to keep them cool and dry in the middle of the jungle?”

“Yep.”

Cas looked at Dean and saw that he was serious. “You like them that much? We have all of this music and more on our devices.”

“Yeah Cas. I like them that much. I love listening to records with you.”

“Okay then. I’ll get some containers to ship them in when we go out next.”

“Thanks.” Dean said, moving towards the bathroom. “I can’t put my finger on what it is that I like so much about those records…” he said as he piped toothpaste onto his brush, “but I do.”

Cas nodded and began brushing his teeth as well. When they were ready for bed, they crawled in and pressed together in the dark.

“You know, before I met you, I was listening to the same couple dozen bands. All rock music, all the time.” Said Dean. “But then I met you and it’s like you just… opened my mind about music. I love so many different kinds now. There’s so much good music out there. And you always seem to know what I’ll like.”

Cas didn’t know what to say, so he was honest. “You know, I think of the music that I listen to… as the soundtrack of my life. When I hear a song, it often takes me back to another place and time. It’s very nostalgic.”

“Well said, Cas. And the soundtrack of my life is better with you picking the music for me.”

Cas smiled in the dark and slid his arm around Deans shoulders to pull him closer and tucked his head into the man’s chest, completely content.

 

 

 

Sam looked over at the realtor who’d been so patient with him. Then his eyes darted over the space again. High ceilings, newly finished wood floors, large windows with a very respectable view of the city. Best of all, it was less than 30 minutes from the office even if traffic was heavy.

“I don’t like the parking with this one.” He said quietly. She didn’t flinch. She’d clearly become accustomed to his pickiness. He wasn’t going to feel bad for being picky. With what he was spending for a place to live… she was going to be well compensated when she received her percentage of the transaction.

“I don’t like the size of the main bathroom either.” He said, looking out the window again, “but I’ll take it.”

He heard her intake of breath. “I’ll get started on the paperwork,” she said calmly, “do you need a few more minutes here, or should we head back to my office?”

“Let’s go,” he said as he walked across the room and opened the door for her. “How long until I can move in?”

“Closing is usually a few weeks, maybe a month. But, since you’re paying cash, we can likely get it done much quicker. I’ll get in touch with you next week with a tentative closing date.”

“And when I leave the closing I will leave with the keys?”

“Yes Mr. Winchester.”

 

 

 

Dean and Cas smiled as they climbed into the bed. It was way too small for two grown men, but it was always fun to sleep here anyway. They were in Dean’s childhood bedroom again. The last time they’d slept here it was Christmas.

Now, their condo was completely clean and devoid of any personal effects. Their boxes had been nestled into the basement here at Mary's or shipped to Tegucigalpa. Their items were being held by the shipping company for pick up when they arrived, since they had no address in Honduras yet.

What had been their home together had just become a rental property. There was nothing left of their lives here that wasn’t in this house, being safeguarded by Mary. Their flight to Honduras was leaving in the morning.

They’d been sleeping here for a few days now, as they finished up the last details of things at the condo. Tonight, Mary had made Cas’ favorite dinner (Pot roast) and Dean’s favorite pie (Cherry). They’d stayed up late playing games with her and Anna but eventually both women had to call it a night. Anna had gone back to Michael's and Mary had gone to bed.

“I don’t know how I could possibly sleep,” said Cas as he skootched around in an effort to find a comfortable position, “I’m way too excited.”

“I keep feeling like we’ve forgotten something important,” worried Dean as he moved lower on the pillow to accommodate Cas.

“I’m SURE we have,” chuckled Cas, “but we’ll just deal with it. Everything will be fine. Even your mom. She’s doing great you know. I can tell.”

“Yeah, me too. She’s really living again. I can tell the difference.”

“Do you think Sam knows we’re leaving?”

“I doubt it. Mom says that whenever she tries to talk to him about me… he just kind of freezes up… she stopped trying to push him a while ago. Now she says she just doesn’t mention me at all and he talks to her more that way.”

The room was heavy with all that Cas knew he shouldn’t say - like how much he’d like to kick Sam’s ass for separating himself from Dean. Or how he still couldn’t believe what Sam had done to him. Or even how sorry he was that Dean’s relationship with him had cost him his brother. It was a loose connection, but it was there.

The worst things that had happened to Dean (with the exception of John’s death) could be traced back to Cas. It was nauseating to consider.

He felt Dean tip his head forward and rest it on his shoulder. “Can you keep quiet if I do dirty things to you, Dean?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you’d better gag me,” he grinned in the dark.

Dean felt Cas’ hand moving south. It brushed along his softie and then nimble fingers trailed along the elastic at the top of his boxers and worked their way inside. Dean worked on keeping his breathing even as Cas artfully peeled him out of his underwear.

“Open your mouth Dean,” whispered Cas in deep and gravelly voice.

He opened his mouth and Cas balled up Deans own boxers and shoved them in forcefully.

Dean grabbed them, yanked them out. “The fuck man?”

“Shhh” said Cas forcefully. “You’ll keep that in or I’ll spank you ass Winchester. Your mother **will** hear it and you’ll be embarrassed.” He said commandingly as he shoved the ball of cotton undies back in Dean’s mouth. “That stays there. Nod if you agree.”

Dean nodded and put himself to work on finding a way to swallow with his own boxers stuffed in his mouth _._

 _Well, I asked for it_ \- he thought to himself.

He wasn’t thinking long. As soon as Cas’ hot mouth descended on his cock, his mind went blank.

Cas worked him over good too. Dean was whining around his gag and sweating by the time he felt his release coming. Cas had thrown the covers over Dean's head to keep his soft moans and heavy nose-breathing from being heard down the hall in Mary’s room.

No worries about the sheets either. As Dean tensed and blew his load, Cas swallowed every drop and licked him clean.

 

When they woke to the alarm in the morning, they fumbled to the shower, eager to begin the day but sore from having slept poorly on a small bed.

Mary had a breakfast ready for them when they came downstairs and didn’t even wince when Dean did two shots of whisky and chased it with his orange juice.

“Your dad used to do that,” she said. “The whisky and OJ.” she didn’t seem sad about it. She was just sharing something with Dean about his father. He smiled at the memory of his father doing that same thing at brunch in Las Vegas when Dean had come out to him.

“Mom,” Dean began with a smile, “the day he found out about me and Cas… he did like three of those with OJ”. They were both laughing now picturing it. “Doubles” added Dean laughing harder. At the time, Dean had been terrified. Now it was just another quirky, fun story about his dad.

"Dean has to get hammered to fly," laughed Cas, biting into his bacon.

She hugged them tightly at the door and begged them not to go too long without calling since their phones wouldn’t be working when they arrived.

Dean re-assured her that they were going to get local cell phones immediately when they arrived. He thanked her again for all her help as they’d prepared to move and told her to just call when she was ready to visit because they’d be missing her.

Then they stepped out onto the porch and walked down the steps toward the airport shuttle that was waiting for them. The driver stepped out and took their briefcases and backpacks from them.

Dean turned back to his mother and pulled her into another hug. Then he watched as she hugged Cas more tightly than she ever had before. “You take care of my boy” she said to Cas firmly.

“I always will,” he promised her honestly.

“You boys take care of _each other_!” she told them as they parted.

Dean pulled her into one last hug and whispered, “When he’s ready to hear it… tell my brother that I love him.”

With that he spun around and climbed into the shuttle, pulling Cas between him and his mom so that she wouldn’t see his tears… and so he wouldn’t have to see hers.

 

 

 


	22. Joy

“Go.” Said Cas firmly to the driver. He’d taken one look at Dean and knew they needed to leave. He turned to the window and raised his hand in a farewell gesture, watching Mary getting smaller as they pulled around the circle drive and exited onto the street.

Cas turned his attention to Dean. One glance told him not to look to close. Dean was working hard to hold himself together. Cas didn’t want to make it any harder. He glanced in the rear view mirror and saw the driver looking at Dean. Instinctively he lurched forward and leaned against the front passenger seat of the van and began speaking with the driver. It shielded Dean from the man’s prying eyes and gave him a few minutes to compose himself, or to actually cry… whatever he needed to do.

He asked the driver how traffic was, if the flights were running on time, how long he’d been driving for the airline and listened while the man answered his questions one by one and told Cas more than he actually cared to know about his job, his family and his nagging wife.

When the van entered the loop at the airport, he slid back into his seat and settled his shoulder next to Deans, still not looking at him out of respect. When the van slid up to the curb they climbed out and the driver handed them their backpacks and brief cases. Cas gave him a good tip and wished him a nice day.

As they stepped away from the curb and walked through the sliding doors, Cas finally chanced a glance at Dean. Dean gave him a solemn nod. It was a simple sign to Cas that he appreciated the help and that he would be fine.

They were actually a bit early, so they headed to the bar to wait. Dean nursed a whisky and stayed quiet. When the time came, they headed to the gate.

This flight was smoother than their previous. Dean seemed okay. Just quiet. When the drink cart came around, Cas handed Dean a Dramamine and both men settled in to try and sleep.

When it was time to change planes, Cas woke cranky. Neither man really spoke, they just trudged through the terminal to find their connection and then fought drowsiness until they were able to actually board. Cas fell back asleep almost instantly – didn’t even remember the take off.

When they touched down in Tegucigalpa, they didn’t have to take a tiny aircraft over to the coast. Dean had arranged for a rental car this time. With what the two men could remember of their Spanish classes, they managed to follow the signs well enough. They’d had to turn around a few times, and based on the looks they were getting as they spun the Corolla around they were probably breaking some laws. But they got lucky and avoided any real trouble as they made their way out of the capital. It got easier after that. It was a comedy of errors but they managed to make it to the coast. Barely.

Their journey ended for the day when they could see the sea. They exchanged smiles and a “don’t care if the sheets are clean” attitude as they checked into the ‘Hotel Christopher Columbus’. It turned out to be much more pleasant than either man had expected.

The room was a dump. But it was clean. The staff was very friendly and the vibe of good times was all around them. They were the only Americans staying there as far as they could see. They dropped their bags on the bed and fished out trunks. With sunglasses on and towels under their arms, they headed for the pool.

The pool deck was crowded with people. The adults were talking and laughing loudly and the children played wildly. The pool water was churning from so much activity. They threw their towels on an empty plastic chair and decided to acknowledge that all eyes were on them as they walked to the pool. They waved in a friendly way and slid into the water. It was as warm as bath water which was oddly perfect. Both men floated around the pool, navigating slowly between animated children who called out to them.

Their broken Spanish allowed little in the way of actual communication; but playing and laughter are universal. They soon found themselves drawn into the children’s games and enjoying playing with them. It was delightful.

Dean noticed the adults pointing and laughing at them for playing with the children, but really, who the fuck cares? They were having a great time.

When they grew tired, they hauled out of the pool, grabbed their towels and walked down to the beach. The water was surprisingly still. The sun was setting behind the hills to their backs and the water and sky were brilliant colors of blue, green, pink and orange.

They stepped into the water which was the perfect temperature and far less crowded than the pool area had been. They relaxed for quite a while in the calm water, just floating and running their toes through the sand as they discussed what they’d be doing tomorrow.

Dean had several appointments set for them. Their realtor was meeting them in the morning and they were going to see a man about a boat. Then, at four they were going to meet with the man who had given them the best price on two jeeps for the resort. It would be an easy day.

They ate dinner in the restaurant. When the waiter dropped off their food, Dean looked at his plate and wished for a McDonalds. But he was hungry and found that it all tasted okay, even though it looked questionable. The bean dish was very bland but with salt and hot sauce, it was edible.

They enjoyed a few beers they’d never heard of before heading to their room for the night. When they crawled into the bed, Dean reached out for Cas and pulled himself into the ‘little spoon’ position. Cas kissed him softly just under the ear and they settled in quietly.

 

 

 

The day was clear and sunny. Just like his first had been here at Stanford. The campus was pulsing with energy. Everywhere he turned there were exuberant students in crazy costumes preparing for ‘Wacky Walk’ which carried as much whimsical creativity as any Pride Parade.

The wacky walk was a long standing tradition. He probably should’ve been in more of a mood to enjoy the festivities with his friends. But a dark cloud was hanging over him.

The absence of his father from his Law School Graduation was an acute pain in his chest that threatened to swallow him up.

His mother would be here for him today, which may have been enough for him if he were on speaking terms with his brother. But since he wasn’t… seeing Mary would only tug and pull at his heart, remind him of the brother that wasn’t here with her.

Sam looked down at the phone in his hand. His thumb swiped the lock screen and hovered over Dean’s number. Perhaps his brother had cleared the day and planned to attend? It was possible that he was sitting on the couch, watching a game and planning to come to Sam’s graduation if only Sam would only call him and ask.

It was so very tempting to believe that may be true. He wanted to see his brother in the worst way. The fact that today was one of the biggest milestones of his life just made the ache more noticeable. Before he could stop it… his finger made the decision his mind would not. It pressed the call button. He didn’t even know what he would say.

Before he had a chance to begin formulating words, the call went straight to voicemail.

_I should’ve known better than to think he’d answer for me. I’m the asshole that ruined his life. Why would he want to come sit through my fucking Law School graduation?_

Sam put the phone down and reminded himself that Dean had every right to hate him. Being exorcised from his brother’s life was what he deserved for what he’d done. He had to learn to accept that this is just how things are now, and that he has no one to thank for it but himself.

He grabbed his things, including the flowers he’d bought for his mom and headed downstairs. As he walked toward the stadium he was swept up in the throng of students all walking to the same place, wearing their costumes and taking pictures. Shouts of “We made it!” echoed everywhere. Girls were gushing and crying and hugging all around him.

The stadium was filling quickly. His phone lit up with a message from his mother. She was here. He asked where she was and when she responded, he was able to track her down. She’d brought her friend Linda with her.

“Hi Mrs. Tran”

“Hello Sam, Congratulations!” she shouted hugging him enthusiastically. He had to bend low to hug her back.

“How is Kevin doing?” he asked her.

“He’s doing great! His speech at graduation went well and he’s very excited for college. He’s all set to start here in the fall. He got his room assignment the other day, but I can’t remember the name of the hall.”

“He’ll love it here,” Sam reassured her, “I know I did.”

Mary slid in to hug him too. He gave her the flowers he’d gotten her.

“Sam, I’m very proud of you.” She said, “Your father was too. Try to enjoy the day. He may not be here to see you walk across the stage, but he always knew this day would come. He knew you would do it and he would want you to enjoy it.”

“Thanks mom. Do you know where to go after this?”

She and Linda both nodded, “Yes. Canfield court. Right over by the Law School buildings. I can’t wait to watch you get your degree!”

She bounced into another hug – probably trying to help him get into a happier mood. She clearly didn’t know how useless that was. But he loved her for trying.

He waved as he parted from them and moved to take his seat amongst the other graduates. The speeches were both thought provoking and inspiring. The applause in the stadium was deafening. When the ceremony was finished there was a mass exodus from the stadium as students dispersed to their various assigned locations for the Diploma Award Ceremonies and Receptions.

The courtyard was filling quickly when he arrived and he took his place. As students filled in around him he noticed how much he was sweating in his heavy black robe under the hot afternoon sun. He allowed the girl next to him to pull him into a conversation. He recognized her face, but couldn’t remember where he’d met her. She seemed to remember him well enough, but she wasn’t acting jilted so clearly she wasn’t someone he’d once slept with. She was just a nice girl that remembered his face from something.

As he was speaking with her, his peripheral vision picked up on his mother walking past. He glanced up and saw her and Linda heading for their seats. They paused to wave at him and then continued.

There were some short speeches and then they were calling names. Sam followed his que, took his walk across the stage, accepted his diploma, shook hands with the president of the Law School and then exited the stage. It was over so fast, he barely had time to think on it. He returned to his seat and sat staring at his degree. He turned it over and over in hands. His fingers traced the intricate stitching and engraved letters.

He should be proud of his accomplishment here. He reminded himself of Ruby’s words. There was nothing he could do to change the past. All he could do is learn from his mistakes and focus on his future.

With that in mind, seeing her lovely smile behind his eye lids, he made a conscious decision to embrace the future. He’d enjoy this day with his mother the best he could and then move out into the world as he was meant to.

He’d take his place at his dads firm, even though his dad wouldn’t be there to see it. And he’d work hard to be sure that he lived in a way that would make his mother and father proud.

The insolent, childish and self-centered boy who had fired his own brother and then bailed on the firm and his family was gone. In his place was a newer and better version of Sam Winchester. He would be a man his mother could be proud of.

The weeks following graduation went far too quickly. He was studying full time now. No classes, no parties, no nothing. Just constant and relentless studying.

Before he knew it - the day was upon him. He forced himself to eat a nutritious dinner and go to bed early because when his alarm went off in the morning… it would be time to go take the bar exam.

 

 

 

The weeks following their arrival in Honduras had been difficult in unexpected ways – but exhilarating. There was so much to do and everything they were doing was unfamiliar to them. Even things that would’ve been simple in America were difficult here. It took an entire day just get new phones. It felt like such a waste of time considering all they should’ve been attending to.

Their biggest problem so far was the language barrier so they began working on that right away. They bought Rosetta stone and set it up on the laptop. Each night they’d work on it for a bit. Progress was slow but after just a few sessions they could already tell it was helping.

By the end of the first week, they were the proud owners of a set of 2015 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited editions with all the bells and whistles, even an on-board winch… one in red and one in black. Currently they were being used as personal vehicles but eventually, they’d be the utility vehicles at the resort.

By the end of the second week they were also the proud owners of an incredible boat too. It had set them back almost a hundred thousand dollars by the time they paid all the fees and registrations. That was pretty far above the budget they’d set for it, but both men felt they’d made the right decision.

First and foremost… they could live on it for the long months they’d be under construction – it was far preferable to staying at the hotel. It would save them hours of travel time each day, and what they would’ve spent in gas to move the boat back and forth between Trujillo (the edge of civilization) and their property (middle of nowhere). They’d soon be able to check out of their hotel, board their boat, travel to their own beach and drop anchor.

But first… they had to learn to operate it. And wasn’t like driving the Impala. The onboard computer system was intricate… as were the rules and regulations of maritime travel. The previous owner had agreed to teach them the in’s and out’s over the next few weeks if they didn’t haggle him on the price. It wasn’t even a question.

Between a few highly recommended books and his teaching, they were hopeful that by the time they closed on the land – they’d be comfortable using the boat. When they’d done their registrations they’d found that technically it was a yacht.

“We fucking bought a yacht today Cas!” he shouted, walking backward in front of Cas on the dock in front of the Christopher Columbus.

“Yes. We did. It may as well be a bulldozer… I can’t operate either one,” said Cas sarcastically.

“C’mon Cas, we’ll learn” Dean encouraged as he pivoted to fall in step with his man.

“It’s hard not to feel stupid when I’ve bought something I don’t know how to use.” He answered morosely. He felt bad for killing the mood for Dean but he couldn’t help feeling this way.

“This was part of the plan, Cas. Would you feel better if we had hired a captain for it?”

“I don’t know… is he sexy?” teased Cas, feeling himself snap out of the moment of buyer’s remorse he’d been having.

Seeing that Cas was in good enough spirits to tease, Dean abandoned the efforts to cheer him in favor of wrapping an arm around his neck and pulling him towards the hotel. They sat by the pool and drank the evening away. At Dean’s encouragement – they took a night off from their relentless planning and just had a little fun.

Their Spanish had improved enough to be able to understand the natives if they spoke slow. They took a few minutes to talk to the adults at the bar, but could soon tell they were being patronized and moved outside to play with the kids for a bit. It was more fun anyway.

The game of the evening was picking up the smaller ones and launching them into the air - letting them fall into the water. The game was thrilling for the children, who begged to be thrown again and again. But it was a backache of epic proportions for the boys, who were too buzzed to notice it until it was too late.

When they drifted back to their room, they laid on the bed and took turns giving each other massages. They couldn’t help that the conversation drifted back to their new boat.

It was over 40 feet long and it was beautiful. It boasted two full size beds in tiny rooms, a decent sized dining area and a small galley/kitchen. There was outdoor seating and a sun bathing deck as well. There was even a fully stocked equipment locker at the back near the outdoor shower. The sound system and satellite TV were a bonus they hadn’t planned on.

Once the resort was built, they’d be using this boat primarily to chauffer guests around and it was perfect for that use. It was lush enough that their upper scale guests would still feel comfortable in it even though they may have been guests on larger and more luxurious yachts in the past.

Additionally, they’d be using it for supply runs and similar errands – maybe even to travel for vacations from time to time. The possibilities had both men chattering excitedly about all the things they’d be doing.

And, for the many months they’d be waiting for the construction phase of the resort to be completed… it would be home sweet home.

Aside from acquiring these expensive new toys, the boys busied themselves with preparing for their many meetings. Prep for the meetings was important. They had to be asking the right questions.

They would be having their second meeting with Pete Nelson in a few days. Since they wouldn’t be able to operate their own boat, their realtor was coming along to chauffer them to the property and be available to answer questions that Pete may have regarding the logistics of actually bringing in materials and equipment to build in the area .

They also had a meeting coming up with the windmill people, several locals who were competing to be their general contractor, their new accountant, their lawyer and their business analyst.

Dean just wanted to dig into the ‘hands-on’ stuff. He didn’t want to do meetings… he wanted to hold tools and sweat under the hot sun.

Cas was in his element during the planning phase and Dean was glad, because his heart wasn’t really in it. He didn’t argue his need to be there or even complain about it. He simply looked forward to this phase being over and really getting to _work_. The only plus about the meetings was getting to see Cas lookin’ all sexy in his suits again. Dean had missed that.

Each night they returned to the Christopher Columbus Hotel. They’d gotten in the habit of having beers at the pool and watching the kids swim or joining them. Now that they’d been here for a while, they were recognizing faces and names. The most rowdy kids in the pool were those of the extended family that owned this resort. They mixed easily with the children of the guests and made the pool a fun place to be.

Dean wondered from time to time if the staff knew that he and Cas were together. They didn’t seem to treat them any differently, so if they did know, clearly it didn’t matter to them.

Dean called Mary often and kept her riveted with their adventures as they got used to their new environment. Cas was usually the one who took the time to send pictures and updates on social media to keep their friends in the loop about what they were doing.

It was now mid-summer so Dean was aware that Sam’s graduation had come and gone. He wanted to ask his mom how it had gone… how had Sam had looked in his cap and gown? Had he seemed happy? But he didn’t want to bring up a subject that was tender for his mom. Instead he let his curiosities eat away at him.

Dean had seen that every time he talked to his mom about Sam, she broke a little. She tried to hide it but he could see that when he asked her about Sam it was just salt in the wound.  He couldn’t do that to her anymore. This was between him and Sam and he needed to keep it that way.

 

 

 

Sam sat up in bed and looked around. His alarm hadn’t gone off yet, but it would soon. He turned it off and moved to the closet, pulling on shorts and a t-shirt, then sitting on the bed to tie on his running shoes.

He took the elevator down and stepped out onto the darkened street, stretching briefly, then breaking into a run and settling in at a respectable pace. He followed the route he’d been getting used to since he moved in and let his mind wander.

He was settled into his new place. There were pictures hanging on his walls and he knew the names of his neighbors.

He’d taken a few weeks off between the bar exam and starting at Winchester Law to recover from studying and get himself moved and settled in. Now he felt ready to start working. He wasn’t looking forward to the scrutiny of the executives there, but he couldn’t deny that he deserved it. Their doubts about him were well founded.

But he couldn’t change the past. All he could do was focus on doing better in the future. He’d show them (with actions - not empty words) that he was different now. Better.

He’d show them he was ready to do the work, prepared to earn his title. They’d soon see that he was capable of making solid decisions, handling his clients, participating in the board meetings. It would take time, but eventually they would see what he really was… his father’s son.

More than anything else, Sam wanted to feel that his father would be proud of him if he were still alive.

As he rounded the last corner on his route, he slowed to a brisk walk. He was covered in sweat and breathing heavily. Around him, the dawn was breaking. People were starting to move around and shops were opening. He bought a coffee and a newspaper on the corner and then walked back through the lobby of his building.

Finding himself alone in the elevator he stretched his arms and legs while he waited for his floor.

After a shower and breakfast, he lingered at the table reading the paper. His only plans for the day were to go through the boxes of pictures that he had sitting on the dresser in his room. He wanted to look through them and find a picture of his family to frame. When he walked into his new office for the first time tomorrow, he wanted to have a picture of them to put on his desk.

Sam knew that going through those boxes of pictures was going to be an emotional mine field. That’s why he’d put it off for so long. Now it was the only thing left to do.

He washed his few breakfast dishes and then, as a judged man faces a firing squad, he moved towards the boxes. He pulled one off the dresser and moved it to the bed, seating himself comfortably with it and began pulling out pictures.

There were so many. He began sorting them into piles by occasion and soon there were little piles all over his bed. There weren’t too many that had his entire family in them. There were pictures of his dad with him at t-ball when he was young. His mom holding his hand on the first day of school. Dean with an arm slung around him at a 49ers game.

Memories of his childhood, adolescence and college years swirled as he sorted the pictures into groups. He wasn’t trying to choose yet. Just organizing. When he had one box emptied, he started on the next. As he dug through the second box he continued to sort by occasion and soon both boxes were empty.

He took a break to go to the bathroom and then to the kitchen for a snack and a bottle of juice. Next he grabbed the bags that rested near his closet door and brought them to the bed. Inside were several boxes that were specially made for storing photos. They looked a lot like shoe boxes but were made sturdy and covered in leather. Inside were dividers with space for labeling. Sam began taking each pile of pictures and tapping them like a deck of cards until their edges lined up. Then he’d place them in the box, labeling the set and moving on. Soon he had half of his bed clear and a well-organized box of photos. He smiled. This wasn’t as painful as he’d expected. It was actually quite pleasant.

Sam understood that he was blessed in life. Yes, he was raised wealthy but that wasn’t the real blessing. The real blessing was that he could look over his entire life and find mostly good and happy memories. Not everyone was so lucky. He thought of Ruby and Meg. Both had family issues that had clouded their lives growing up. Sam had been blissfully ignorant of such difficulties. He had his parents to thank for that. He made a mental note to say something to his mom about it when the time was right… express his gratitude for her having raising him well.

As Sam bent down to work on the second box, he began looking closer at the pictures he was putting away and pulling out one or two from each group that he liked best. It was from those favorites that he’d choose the one he would end up framing and taking to work. He continued labeling and was soon finished.

He sat down on the bed to look over his pile of favorites. He thumbed through it several times. He’d been on a quest for a picture of his entire family, but that wasn’t what he kept coming back to. For some reason, the picture that captured his attention and tugged at his heart was an odd choice. But eventually he gave in and set it aside for framing. The rest he filed under their appropriate section and moved the finished boxes to a shelf in the living room.

Sam looked around his new home. He liked it. He put shoes on and grabbed his chosen photo and headed out. He walked down the street toward the frame shop. He was getting hungry for some lunch and as he walked past several restaurants, he was trying to choose where he’d stop on the way home.

He decided to try the Greek place as he moved to enter the framing shop. He spoke briefly with the lady at the counter who assured him that, based on his choice of matte and frame, she could have it ready for him in an hour.

He thanked her and headed back to the Greek place where he relaxed over roast lamb, watching the people who walked by outside the glass-wall store front. A nap was starting to sound good. He checked his watch a few times as he ‘people watched’ and when it had been an hour he headed back to the frame shop.

“This looks great. Thank-you.” He said as he ran his thumb over the glass. She put it in a bag and he headed home for a nap.

Later that evening, he called Meg. They talked for a while. She told him about how her work was going and the trip she was planning to take in a few weeks. He told her he was starting at the firm tomorrow and she told him she admired him going to work there even though it was going to be a challenge. They eventually said good-bye and he spent the remainder of the evening flipping through channels on the TV and trying not to dread the morning.

When morning came, it brought with it a dull grey sky and intermittent rain. It matched his mood. Sam was somber as he picked up his relatively empty brief case and headed to his car.

Walking through the doors was easier then he thought. He was greeted warmly and ushered to meet with Mr. Spencer who had apparently volunteered to help Sam get his feet wet. In Mr. Spencer’s office Sam had listened while the man told him they’d like him to start out by assisting on some simple cases and he agreed that was best. They went over everything from salary and benefits to the employee handbook and expectations of behavior, internet etiquette and usage, expected turnaround times for answering phone calls and emails and which meetings were optional and which weren’t.

Sam took it all in stride, glad that Norman wasn’t taking it for granted that Sam knew anything. He was getting the full ‘dog and pony show’ that any new employee would get. He liked it.

When they left his office and headed for the elevator, they walked past John Winchesters office again. This time the door was open and the scene inside hit him like a punch to the gut. His mind rebelled against what he was seeing… there was another man in his father’s chair.

Sam had known that a president had been chosen to run the company. His father had wanted it that way… it’s how he’d set things up in his estate. But now, watching another man sit behind his father’s desk had him swallowing bile down and working not to throw up.

Mr. Spencer took his elbow and redirected him to the elevator. At first he felt ashamed of himself for having such a visible reaction. But as the elevator doors slid shut, he chanced a glance at Mr. Spencer and saw nothing but empathy. He nodded to let the man know he was ok.

When Sam walked into his office it was exactly what he’d expected. An entry level attorney’s office. No big fancy desk. Not even a window. It was exactly what he wanted for now. The window and the big desk would be his when he earned it. Someday he would have those things… and a secretary to help him get through his busy days. For now? He was just another rookie.

He smiled as he laid his briefcase on his desk and took out the picture he’d brought. Sam set it proudly on his shitty little desk. He still thought it was an odd choice, but couldn’t deny how strongly he’d felt that this was the picture that belonged here. It was a picture of him and Dean, leaning on the Impala in their driveway. Sam was just a boy in the photo and Dean was already gangly and growing into a teen’s body.

There was an innocence to them in that picture... nothing between him and his brother but love.  He felt a tear track down his face and wiped it away.  “God damn.” He whispered. _I fucking miss my brother._

Cas looked around their table in the conference room. There were several lawyers here, two real-estate agents and two brokers, one representative from the bank and across the heavy wooden table… Dean. Cas watched him sign, followed by the notary making her mark. As soon as he’d finished, his beautiful green eyes found Cas. They danced with electric excitement.

Soon Cas was being nudged that it was his turn. He dropped his eyes to the thick stack of papers in front of him and began signing at each little yellow arrow. Then the notary made her marks as well.

Everyone in the conference room stood and took turns shaking hands now that the deal was done.

Cas looked across the table at Dean again and reached out his hand. Dean leaned across the deep mahogany table and grasped his hand tightly. As they shook, their eyes locked.

This was it. They were now officially the owners of 2640 acres of isolated farmland in rural Honduras. That came to just a tad over four square miles. Cas felt something in the pit of his stomach. Fear? Excitement? He realized he wasn’t sure. Thank god for the hand clasping his from across the table. His partner all senses of the word now. When he looked into the man’s eyes, he couldn’t keep the smile from breaking across his face.

It wasn’t until they were sitting in the jeep that he took a deep breath. Dean pulled the jeep out on to the busy street. Feeling the breeze, both men reached to pull on their shades. Cas took another deep breath and let it out. He couldn’t seem to slow his heart beat down. He could feel his pulse pounding in his ears and his muscles tensed, protesting at the idea of staying still when so much adrenaline was coursing through his veins. He glanced over at Dean who was watching the road but sporting a wide smile.

“We did it.” Cas said, just loud enough to be heard over the wind.

“That’s right we fuckin’ did!” shouted Dean loudly and thumping the steering wheel. “Fuck Yey-ah!” he yelled out loudly, throwing a fist in the air.

Cas joined him in whooping and hollering and finally gave in to his body. He flung himself up to a standing position in the jeep, braced himself against the roll bar and threw both his hands high in the air letting loose all that he’d held back. The wind whipped his face and fluttered his suit jacket and tie and ate up his screams as he hollered “Fuck Yey-ah! Fuck Yeah-yah!” out into the bustling city.

Dean glanced up to see Cas towering above him and celebrating. With his arms above his head like an Olympic champion Cas was a sight. Sexy in his glasses and his wild posture while still wearing that straight laced suit… it did something tantalizing to Dean’s insides.

“We need to celebrate!” Cas said loudly, flopping down beside Dean.

“Oh yeah.”

“What should we do?”

“Anything you want?” Dean looked at Cas for an indication of what he’d want to do.

“We could take the boat out?” he suggested.

Dean nodded thoughtfully. “Whatever we do… I’m just warnin’ you now…” says Dean, “I’m getting’ fucked up tonight!”

“You want to stay in the city tonight? Go out?” asked Cas.

“City’s dangerous. We should probably get back to our part of the map before we lose our shit.”

Cas nodded knowing he was right. He kicked back in his seat and watched the harsh and gritty city pass by him. The open air carried the scent of oil and diesel fuel and smoking meat. The scents changed as they passed by different neighborhoods. Dirty but brightly colored buildings dotted the landscape. It didn’t look especially dangerous, but without a local they trusted to guide them… it absolutely was.

The ride back to the sea was long. Mostly because they were ready to start celebrating. So they talked as they drove and decided that when arriving, they’d jump in the pool and play with the kids for a bit before asking the few familiar faces at the resort for a recommendation of where they could celebrate.

When they got back to the hotel they passed by the pool and children ran to them and touched their suits and splashed them and laughed and teased. They laughed too, pulled off their ties and gave chase around the pool deck, snapping their ties at ringleaders and throwing a lucky few into the pool.

Wet and laughing they hurried to their room and changed to trunks. Dean watched Cas hop, literally hop, to pull up his red trunks that were still wet and fell on the bed laughing. Cas hopped up on the bed and jumped on it with Dean flopping around between his legs before finally dropping to his knees and grabbing Deans chin.

“I’m so happy,” he smiled.

“Me too Cas,” and with that, he pulled Cas down into a long and heated kiss, grinding his hips up into his man and dragging a moan from his lips.

“Not yet,” teased Cas as he extricated his limbs from Dean. “No way… there’s a lot of tequila between now and the hard core fucking your gonna give me tonight.” He said firmly as he backed away from the bed.

“Oh that’s how it is?”  Dean grinned widely, reaching for Cas as he backed away, “you fucking cock tease…”

“You know it.” Said Cas – moving toward the door. “If you want to hit this,” he teased, “you’ve got to buy a few drinks first.”

“How many’s a few?” Dean asked coyly, playing along and following Cas to the door.

“Tell you what Dean, when I stop drinking… have one more and then bring me back here.”

Dean moved past Cas to open the door and then leaned in gave the man a teasing peck on the lips before moving out toward the pool again.

They made a bee-line for the pool and cannon-balled into it which immediately incited a riot amongst the kids. They dunked each other and then the older boys before moving on to games with the younger kids who were begging for attention.

As dusk descended, Dean glanced a few times over toward the bar area where familiar faces lounged and laughed around the drinks in their hands. He moved to the bar, dripping and smiling, and ordered shots for he and Cas. Then he turned toward the pool and beckoned Cas to join him. They tossed back two rounds, using their limited Spanish to get across the point that tonight was special.

“Celebrar” Dean told them a few times.

“Por que?” asked the bar tender loudly while filing glasses.

Dean stumbled and stammered out the few words he knew by heart that would convey what they’d done today. He wound up with, “Comprar… (which he thought meant purchase) …Kaski” (the name of the area where they’d purchased land today).

Several people began talking at once, the only word Dean caught that he knew was “Repitir” which he was sure meant repeat. He glanced around at the group who were wearing surprised faces.

“Comprar Kaski”

“Por que?” asked the bar tender again.

“Constru… cons…” Dean was having trouble remembering the word. He knew it sounded similar to ‘construction’.

“Construir” injected Cas with a smile.

“Yes! Si!” Dean yelled – grateful for the help, “Construir Resort!”

Dead silence. No one said anything. No one blinked. Dean had a split second to wonder if he shouldn’t have told them… that would make him competition for them. How would they take it?

Laughter. That’s how they took it. Laughter in fits. Laughter til they choked.

One familiar and normally friendly man walked to Dean and Cas and looped an arm around each and shouted something that neither man could understand. But looking around it would appear that the man had ordered a round of drinks for everyone. More shots were pushed towards the boys and they took them with a smile. “Eres un tonto!” he shouted to the bar. Every one downed their shot. Dean had no idea what it meant but it seemed that everyone had decided to celebrate with them.

Dean took a stab at ordering a round for the house, “Uno para todos” and handed the bartender his card. “todos” he said again, gesturing to the entire group.

Another jumped behind the bar to help and soon all were holding another drink. The group followed the direction of the man standing between Dean and Cas. They raised their glasses in a solute and shouted, “Son tontos!”

“Son tontos!” repeated the boys and threw back their shots. Dean had no idea what son tontos meant, but it felt celebratory. Cas was wearing a wide and youthful smile that showed all of his teeth and crinkled the corners of his eyes. Dean had to work not to lean in and kiss him. He was feeling very affectionate for the man and had to remind himself firmly not to give away that they were lovers.

These people may already wonder about them… why make it obvious. Hate crimes in this country weren’t investigated or punished. It was best not to go around begging for a fist to the face – especially when outnumbered.

They ambled back to the pool, and slid into the warm water. There were only a few kids left and they were tossing around a ball. Dean and Cas were immediately included in the game. Dean occasionally glanced toward the adults who were still talking and laughing boisterously under neon lights. Occasionally he heard the word ‘tontos’ again and deduced that he and Cas were still the subject of conversation.

When the owner’s kids were called out of the pool and over to the nearby tables to eat their dinner, Dean and Cas were surprised to find themselves invited to join. They accepted graciously and ate what was put in front of them. The boys were kicking at them under the table and goofing around. They smiled but didn’t engage, wanting not to annoy their adult hosts. No one said much while food was being eaten, but the same man muttered ‘tontos’ under his breath again with a chuckle when he saw Dean and Cas clink their beer bottle necks together in a silent ‘cheers’.

They sat together at the table and nursed their beers, thighs touching, until the adults disbanded and then they stood to thank their hosts.

Dean’s card was brought out to him with the bill and he signed it, including a generous tip. He considered staying in the bar and getting plowed with Cas. But there were two fundamental problems with that.

First of all, the more drunk he got, the harder it got to keep his hands from reaching for Cas. Second of all, getting drunk didn’t sound nearly as fun as what they’d be doing right now if they went to their room.

Dean looked over at Cas with a question in his eyes and saw his man give a nod. They made warm and friendly good-night gestures to the group and then headed off towards their room.

Cas was getting excited as they moved closer to their door. He half expected to be flung through it find himself face down on the bed getting ravaged.

Not the case.

Dean didn’t even look at him. Cas smiled watching Dean go straight to his laptop and stepped in to read over the man’s shoulder. He watched Dean Google the translation of ‘tontos’. They both busted out laughing. Tontos translates to ‘fools’.

“Well,” said Dean with a sigh, “We’ll see, huh?”

 

 

 

Sam was working through lunch again. He’d made a habit of it lately because by lunch he was usually so far behind that he couldn’t imagine leaving for even half an hour. He would always hope that by the time the rest of the office came back from their lunch breaks – he would be caught up again. But that was seldom the case.

In Sam’s mind, the worst thing that could happen was that someone would ask him for something a second time and it wasn’t ready yet.

“Hey Winchester,” says Jim Bellamy leaning on Sam’s office door jamb, “Did you ever finish that research I asked for on the Pullinger case?”

_Speak of the Devil._

“Well, Jim, I’m still working on it for you but I should be able to finish it up before I leave today,” _It will take a miracle_ “I can swing by your office and drop it with your secretary when I’m done?”

“Sure. Thanks, Winchester.”

_That’s right asshole, its Winchester, my names on the fucking building you dickwad!_

“Sure Mr. Bellamy. I’m happy to help.”

_Fuck my life._

Cas looked at Dean and said, “This is our last night here, when we get up in the morning we can take the boat over to… well, home I guess.”

“Home,” mused Dean. “Our own private paradise.”

“We own a beach Dean.” said Cas as he slid onto the bed next to him, “Not a house on a beach… the whole fucking beach… for miles.”

“Well, I think technically the bank owns it. But as long as we don’t miss a payment… they’ll let us stay there.” He smiled, resting his hand on Cas’ thigh.

“At least we own the yacht that’s going to be anchored on that beach,” smiled Cas. “And I can’t wait to break it in.” he said, dipping his eyes down to where Deans hand was resting against his damp skin.

They had been out on the boat half a dozen times over the last two weeks. George, the boats previous owner, would meet them at the slip and give them a lesson. His lessons were fun.

He did most of the driving that first day, letting them watch how he did everything and answering their questions. He took them about around the point.

As soon as they came around the end of it, they could see another island. “That’s Guanaja” he told them, this region over here on the Southern face plus that crowded little island there is Bonacca. You can get gas lots of places here but I recommend ‘Island Gas’,” he was pointing, “they make delicious blended drinks.” he laughed.  

A few minutes later he’d pointed out a dock large enough for their vessel, and told them there’s an ATM there just inside the first row of buildings. It was nice the things that George thought to tell them. Practical things.

They spent a few hours circling the island, with him at the helm pointing out all sorts of things. When they came around the other side, they saw another island come into view. This one they were familiar with. They had stayed here when they first came to experience the monkeys. He moved out away from the island and explained how channel markers work and how to know where they could anchor and where they couldn’t.

Then he showed them how to drop the anchor and the three moved to the back of the boat. The boys had followed his lead as he took snorkel equipment from the storage locker, checked it for size and jumped off the swim platform and into the water. Dean followed first and then Cas. Once they were in, they put on their goggles and fins and spent some time just touring the nearby grasses and rocks for sea life. They saw tons of tropical fish and moved through schools of them behind George. They saw some sea turtles too and beds of sea urchins. As they hoisted back onto the swim platform he showed them his secret. He’d been spilling out fish food flakes… the kind you buy in a pet store. That’s what had brought all those schools of beautiful fish to them.

Cas and Dean soaked up his knowledge like sponges. When they’d arrived back at the slip, he talked them through the process of docking. It sounded simple and it looked easy. On their next excursion they found out that it isn’t.

Each time they’d gone out with George they’d take a different path and he’d explained a few more things. Now, with their lessons complete, they found they knew a great deal. They read the books he recommended, but the most useful were his personal lessons.

Learning to watch the sea floor was a challenge. So was learning to pay attention to the tides. In a boat this big, they didn’t want to be in the shallows when the tide went out. It would leave them marooned. Additionally, you could be moving along in deep water and not even thinking about the bottom and then all of a sudden you’d be passing over an old ship wreck or something and only have a few feet of clearance to the bottom of the yacht. It was strange to worry not just about looking in front of them but also under them all the time.

George taught them how to read nautical maps and how to plot a course manually. He said everyone should know how to do that… just in case the equipment stopped working someday.

On their last adventure with George he’d told them he was leaving the area soon but would still be spending his winters here. He told them to get in touch when they opened the resort because he was fixed on the idea of bringing his wife to stay in a tree house. They all agreed to keep in touch. Dean and Cas were thrilled with all they’d learned from him, while having so much fun at the same time.

Now, as Cas sat on the bed next to Dean, all he could think of was getting on that boat tomorrow and heading for their beach. It would be a few weeks yet before their first shipment of supplies for the builders would arrive. But there were things they needed to do before then anyway, and he knew Dean was itching to get started.

“I can’t believe how big of an adventure my life has turned into!” Cas said leaning into Dean,”I’m going to live on a boat! And then I’m going to move into a tree house!” he said excitedly.

“After we build our windmill,” added Dean, pointing out another big adventure.

“I remember,” said Cas thoughtfully, “laying in your bed and telling you that you made me more adventurous. Do you remember that?”

“Was that the night we got busted getting it on in your car downtown?”

“Yep. Officer Mills. I’ll never forget that. But after, we stayed at your place and you picked your Kinsey number, remember?”

“Yes. You said I made you more adventurous and you also said I was dangerous for you.” Said Dean quietly, “And you were right. You knew your family would disown you leave you destitute. And they did. You lost everything because of me.”

“No Dean. I’ve found everything because of you.” He smiled and laid his head on his friend’s shoulder, “I’ve never felt as alive as I do when I’m with you. My wildest dreams from before don’t even compare to the life I’m living now.” He said firmly, then he took a deep breath and added, “Besides, you’ve lost things because of me too.”

“I’m as happy as you are Cas. So, can we save ourselves the chick-flick moment and just skip to the part where we fuck it out?”

“You mean hug it out?” asked Cas.

“No. I mean fuck Cas. I’ve been wanting it all day.” Says Dean in a low and husky voice, “Watching you in that suit, damn. I can’t wait anymore. I need to get inside you.”

“Should we sneak out to the beach since it’s our last night?”

“I’m bettin that sounds better than it actually feels,” laughed Dean as he leaned over and pushed Cas down on the bed beneath him, “I don’t want sand in between anything but my toes.” He laughed as he put a hand to each of Cas’ wrists and pinned him down.

Cas was immediately responsive to being held down. His hips thrust upward as his cock started filling fast and hard. Dean’s face was so close that he could almost taste the beer that lingered on his breath. A soft wet tongue glided over his lips and teased playfully. Cas shuddered, his body coming alive under Dean. He opened up and sucked in the man’s tongue as he pressed his hardness upwards – seeking friction and heat.

Dean managed to pull his tongue free and then plundered it down into Cas’ mouth with passion, eliciting an answering moan from his lover before pulling away. Cas reached up, following, trying to recapture Deans mouth with his own. But Dean was out of reach.

“I should gag you, Cas, like you did me.” Dean baited, looking down at Cas from on top, “You remember that you fucking purvey bastard? Put my own fucking dirty underwear in my mouth while you sucked me off.”

Cas could barely hold back his grin.

“You think that’s funny, huh?” Cas shook his head, “Yes you do. I can see it on your face. You loved takin’ me like that didn’t you? In my childhood bedroom, Cas, ten feet from my mother’s door… gagged me and sucked me off… I think it’s time you paid for that.” Dean grinned at Cas like the Big Bad Wolf grinned at Little Red Riding Hood.

Dean’s hands were still locked on Cas’ wrists and holding him down. He pulled his knee up in between Cas’ legs and pressed firmly over his balls. When the man thrust up against the promise of friction, he snapped up and rolled his lover over as quick as a wink.

Before Cas even knew what had happened he was face down on the bed with Deans hands back at his wrists holding him down again.

Cas couldn’t hold it back, he pushed his ass up into Dean, wet trucks cold now and giving him goose bumps. His body was calling for Dean, he wanted to be filled and stuffed.

Dean, holding Cas face-down on the bed, looked around the room for something… anything to restrain the solid body beneath him. His eyes travelled around the room.

 _That’s what I need, right there_ – thought Dean as his eyes found Cas’ pants crumpled on a corner of the bed, not two feet away. He leaned back a little and moved Cas’ hands so that one wrist was trapped under the other. Then he leaned forward, trapping both under the weight of one hand as he used the other hand to reach the pants which had been abandoned in a pile when they’d hurried into their trunks earlier.

He pulled them closer and put the slacks in his mouth, using his free hand to pull the belt from the loops. He felt Cas tense underneath him, wondering what Dean was going to do to him. He smiled knowing that the anticipation was half the fun. He let the buckle of the belt drag across Cas’ back as he pulled it up near the man’s head.

With his free hand he pushed the soft end of the belt under his lover’s arms and then circled it around, pulling it through the buckle and pulling it back, tightening it. Once he had both of his lovers wrists looped tightly into the belt, he released his grip and put both hands on the long section of belt that was left over.

Dean leaned forward and laid an open mouth kiss on at the bolt of Cas’ jaw and then slid off the side of the bed. Dean tugged the belt gently and managed to pull Cas’ wrists up closer to the head board and then wrapped the belt around the beam that connected the head board to the bed. He tied a slip knot and then tested it.

 When he glanced at Cas, he saw the man’s eyes watching him closely. He stood and moved to find his own discarded pants and retrieve another belt.

Then, just to keep Cas in suspense a little longer, he walked slowly to turn off the light and chain the door. He took the time to find his phone and lay it in the dock and pick a playlist. He wandered to their ice bucket and put a cube in his mouth. He sucked on it while he trailed the buckle of his belt down Cas’ bare back and watched the gooseflesh form there.

Cas was slowly turning his head to follow Dean, so he borrowed Cas’ own trick from him and made sure to lay the belt down near Cas’ face, just inches away, but still out of reach for a bound man. He leaned in with an ice cold mouth and ran his tongue in a long stripe down Cas’ back. Then, he began tugging the man’s wet trucks off of him and saw him shivering.

Dean laughed out loud as a thought popped into his head. _Why the fuck not?_ he thought. So he moved two steps to the sink and pulled the hairdryer out of its cradle. Pulling it to the bed stretched the cord to its limits but he turned it on low and warm and aimed it for Cas’ back-side. Cas moaned in sweet relief at the sensation of warm air caressing his skin when he’d likely been expecting pain.

 _Well, it’s weird, but whatever works_ he thought to himself as he watched Cas, moving his ass around under the heat, soaking it up.

Dean was mesmerized watching Cas’ bare ass swivel and slide around under the warmth of the hairdryer. His man had a wicked tan line now from being in outside in trunks so often. He licked his lips, thinking of all the places he was going to put his tongue tonight. As he continued to cover Cas with warm heat from the dryer, he reached up with his free hand to his own waist and undid himself, letting cold and wet trunks fall to his ankles. He chuckled as the last of his dignity walked out the door and crawled up on the bed, straddled Cas’ hips and aimed the warm air at both of them. His cock said a quick thank you and then started to get hard. Dean turned the heat up to high for a minute or so and blew air all the way up Cas’ back to his neck and watched the man hum in pleasure.

Then, with no warning at all, he clicked the dryer off and let the cord snap it back toward the sink. He wrapped his hand around the belt and doubled it over in his fists. He snapped it loudly, like he’d done as a child just to hear the noise. He watched the man beneath him flinch at the loud snap and laughed.

“Oh Cas,” he teased, “You’re too fuckin’ easy!”

Now it was Dean’s turn to be surprised. Cas quickly and easily pulled one leg up and popped himself into a tripod position. Dean, not expecting it at all, tumbled off like a rider thrown from a mechanical bull.

“Who’s easy?” Cas teased back as he watched Dean hop up off the floor, red faced.

“You tricky fucker… you’ll pay for that,” he laughed as he jumped back on the bed and positioned himself lower down on Cas’ legs this time. “I was only gonna give you one or two. But now… now you’re gettin’ at least three lashes!”

Cas looked around behind - wanting to watch as his lover punished him. He pulled back on the belt so he could push his ass into the air, waiting and wanting. Dean was towering over him, bare-chested and sun-kissed, muscular arm pulling back with leather firmly gripped and ready to strike. The man was a wet dream come to life. Cas sucked in a breath, heart racing and mouth watering for it. He squeezed his eyes shut tight

SNAP

“Fuucck!” he cried out as the stinging sensation radiated through the meat of his ass cheek and spread. Dean had really let him have it. He was already fighting the tears that wanted to gather at the corner of his eyes and he still had at least two more to go. His pulse was pounding and he pressed his throbbing cock into the mattress for relief as he turned his eyes to the golden god of sexy spankings who was raising his arm again.

SNAP

“Ah! Dammit! Holy fuckin Hell Dean!” The stripe of pain on his ass cheeks felt like burning fire. But the tingles of sensuality that pulsed from his bare cheeks seemed to go straight to his dick. Cas wanted to push his ass up and beg for another. But he couldn’t bear another moment without being filled. He needed to be fucked. He needed something inside him now.

He squirmed into the bed, and took a deep breath, looking upward to his lovers heaving sculpted chest. He wanted to tell Dean to stop… stop and put your cock in me first but before he could even form a word…

SNAP

“Aaaaahh!” he cried out. He dropped his head to the mattress and let the tears fall. The sting of the strap was like an echo that pinged off all his pulse points. Several seconds ticked by with his senses screaming. Finally he was able to suck in a deep breath. By the time Cas regained the power to make actual words, the pain had mostly passed, but his body still hummed from head to toe like a tuning fork.

Dean moved from the bed and knelt down to release the belt from the bed and unbound his arms. Cas pulled Dean down with him, glad to have the use of all his limbs restored. He turned his back to Dean, laying on his side, pressing his ass backward and seeking out Dean’s heavy cock. He heard the snap of the lid on the lube and moaned in anticipation.

Dean responded, reaching around with a slippery hand to reward Cas’ leaking cock for its patience. Cas felt his pulse quicken again and his blood started to move faster. Dean’s tight fist seemed to pull tingles from all over his body and bring them straight to his palm as he slid it smoothly up and down Cas’ shaft.

Cas fucked forward into Deans hand and murmured dirty things as he felt fingers at his entrance. Cool slippery fingers. They slid in smooth and back out. He felt them intrude again and again, riding along the path to his sweet spot, teasing.

Finally, it happened, Dean’s thick cock was pressing inward. It was huge and stiff and Cas had to pant a few breaths as he got used to it, but he’d been waiting so long for it… the only words that could find their way to his lips were “Thank you.” And then, “I needed you so bad”

When he was finally full of Dean, he was able to relax and enjoy it. He moved along with his man easily, hips working together.

Cas felt complete, like the last piece to the puzzle had just locked into place. Dean was panting now and he began thrusting harder. Cas responded with more – pushing back into Dean with all his strength and feeling Dean snap his hips and plunge deeper and deeper into him. He felt Deans arm wrap around his shoulder and his man’s head dropped to rest where Cas’ neck met his shoulder.

Cas could feel the hot bursts of breath as Dean panted on his skin, chasing his release now. Cas built up with him working faster and faster. Dean came first, unable to hold back any longer. Cas followed after when Dean went back to stroking his cock for him. He shot a wet mess into the sheets as euphoria swept over him.

Cas was satisfied to his core. He sunk down into the bed and felt Dean nestle in behind him. Cas fell asleep almost immediately, exhausted. It didn’t take Dean long either and his sleep was far from dreamless. He saw Cas smile behind his eyelids and felt the wind in his hair. As his dream morphed seamlessly from one landscape to the next he went from lush green jungle to deep blue sea and turquoise waters crowded with fish and then back again to the most enchanting smile he’d ever seen… Cas locking eyes on Dean and beckoning him closer… all night long… nothing but pure joy.


	23. It's Unforgiveable

Dean woke up early… the sun wasn’t even up yet. But he was far too excited to imagine going back to sleep. He moved to the bathroom and relieved himself, brushed his teeth and began quietly picking up their room. When he’d done all he could do without waking up Cas, he quietly took his phone and wallet and snuck out the door.

Cas woke refreshed and stretched languidly before sitting up and looking around for his bedmate. The room was quiet and clean. Dean wasn’t there anywhere; so Cas crossed his fingers and hoped that he’d stepped out to bring food and coffee as he headed for the bathroom.

He was just finishing in the shower when his wish came true. The smell of strong coffee wafted into the bathroom and soon a naked man slid into the shower with him.

“Did you bring food?” Cas asked hopefully.  
“Yep.” He answered, sliding greedy hands around Cas’ hipbones and pulling him in for a soft kiss. “Are you ready to take a boat ride with me today?”

Cas was thrumming with excitement, “Yes! I dreamt of it all night last night.”

“Me too,” smiled Dean as he slowly turned Cas’ body to face the wall.

Cas grew quiet and leaned against the tile, wondering if Dean was planning to take him again. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead on the tile as his lover began moving hands slowly down his back. He felt Dean pause as his hands reached Cas’ waist.

“Cas, man, I left marks on you.” Said Dean cautiously as he looked over the pink stripes on Cas’ perfect butt cheeks.

“And…?”

“Doesn’t that bother you?” he asked quietly, “I didn’t mean to hit you so hard.”

“I wasn’t complaining,” smiled Cas as he tipped his head back and looked Dean in the eye. “In fact, I remember begging some…”

“Still…” says Dean, clearly uncomfortable, “I don’t know if I like what I’ve done here.”

“It’s no different than any of the marks you’ve sucked into my skin, Dean. I love to be marked by you.” He paused and then continued, “Please don’t feel bad about this. Go ahead and feel bad if I ever ask you to stop and you don’t.”

“Would never happen.” Said Dean firmly.

The mood had shifted away from sex now. It was serious and a little sad. But rather than trying to recapture the ‘steamy shower sex’ mood from a few minutes ago, Cas decided that he was more anxious to get going. So, he simply opted for diversion and changed the subject.

“Do we have anything we have to do before we go to the Marina?” he asked Dean.

“Just buy supplies… you know… stock the fridge and stuff.” he said as he began washing his hair, “But I was wondering if we want to pay for another month’s rent on the slip at the Marina… just in case? Or do you think we should just shut it down and save the money?”

“I think another month is a good idea. Just until we’ve been living there for a while and we know for sure that we won’t be needing it.” He paused, thinking for a moment and then added, “We need to think of a name for the place Dean. Even if it’s only temporary. I don’t know what to call it.”

“I liked when you called it home,” he said shyly.

Cas nodded, patted Dean’s perfect ass and stepped out, toweling off quickly and settling at the wobbly table to have some breakfast.

When Dean emerged a few minutes later, Cas said, “I’m starting to get used to this food.”

“I know,” Dean smiled fondly, “I might even miss this dump a little.”

“I’ll miss the kids.” Said Cas warmly.

“Me too,” smiled Dean.

 

 

 

Sam nodded to the chauffer as he climbed into the limo. Once seated, he asked the driver how long it would take to arrive at their destination. He was told it would be approximately a half-hour drive to pick up Ms. Robbins and from there it would be about twenty minutes until they arrived at their destination.

Sam had been asked, in the hallway following the last board meeting, if he’d be able to attend the annual benefit for the Children’s League as a representative of Winchester Law. A table had been purchased and they wanted to be sure it was full. He’d agreed without hesitating.

First and foremost, he used to do this kind of thing all the time so he knew he’d have no trouble with it. Secondly, if you had to go to a fundraiser, this was the one to go to.

It was a costume party every year and it was one of the more ‘loose’ events to attend… the guests always getting a bit more sloshed than at your average ‘dinner and dancing’ or ‘dinner and auction’ kind of events.

Later that week he’d gotten an email from Susan Robbins, an intermediate level attorney who clearly had her mind on getting herself a key to the executive washroom.  She mentioned in her email that she’d also been asked to attend the event and wondered if Sam was willing to accompany her.

Sam had agreed – mostly because he couldn’t think of a viable reason to turn her down. She’d seemed nice on the few occasions that he’d spoken with her, but the age difference between them was so noticeable, he couldn’t imagine why she’d thought of him for a date.

He glanced down at his bloody scrubs and wondered if he should have consulted her about his costume. When the limo pulled up to her building, he waited while the chauffer stepped out and entered the lobby to buzz her apartment. When they emerged, the chauffer opened the door for her, and she slid artfully into the seat next to him. She smiled politely and thanked him for being willing to ‘ride together’.

Sam sighed and smiled – relieved that her choice of words implied that she wasn’t trying to turn this into an actual date. Now he felt more at ease as he complemented her on her outfit – which was sexy as hell.

“You look incredible,” he told her honestly, “Who are you dressed as?”

“Jessica Rabbit.”

“Who?”

“Jessica Rabbit… from ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit’? I take it you never saw that one?”

“I don’t think so…” he stammered, “It was a movie?”

“Yes. Early nineties… half cartoon and half live actors. It’s a favorite of mine.”

“I see. Well, I’ll have to check it out sometime.”

They were silent for a moment and then he asked, “Was Jessica Rabbit a cartoon or a real person?”

“A cartoon. And she wore this dress a hell of a lot better than I’m wearing it.”

Sam chuckled, “You’re wearing it pretty well.”

“You have a job to do tonight Sam Winchester.”

“What’s that?”

“You count my drinks” she laughed, “and keep reminding me I’m at a work function.”

“Oh… it’s that kind of a night huh?”

“Well, I’m recently divorced,” she confided, “VERY recently. And my ex-husband will be at this event.”

“Well then,” said Sam with a widening smile, “That dress was well chosen.”

“Thank you. That was my hope.” She smiled. “My reasons for asking you to join me were very selfish. You’re a fine looking young man and if he sees me on your arm – maybe he’ll see that he’s not the only one that can score younger.”

“So you’d like me to be your arm candy?”

“Yes, if you wouldn’t mind doing an old lady a favor.”

“Umm, you’re gonna have a hard time pulling the ‘old lady’ card in that getup.”

“Good.” She smiled contentedly.

“Point him out when we get there ok?” he said good-naturedly, “I’ll make sure he sees you.”

“Thank you, Sam. I was hoping you’d understand.”

 

 

 

The boys checked out of the Christopher Columbus and drove both jeeps to the Marina. They stopped on the way and bought everything they needed to stock the boat, which was more than they’d realized. The men ended up needing both jeeps just to haul it all.

The boat had a system that pulled sea water in and treated it to be used for the sinks and showers but it wasn’t good drinking water. So they wound up purchasing a large volume of water in large containers as well as crates and crates of bottled water. Between the water and the groceries and all the supplies they’d had to buy, it took forever to carry everything aboard the vessel and get it put away.

But as soon as they boarded, Cas had music going and their work felt like fun. They put away their things and unpacked their suitcases into drawers and closets and stowed their luggage in the extra room. There wasn’t much space for clothes… but they hadn’t brought much with them.

When they’d gotten settled, they did ‘rock-paper-scissors’ to see who would be taking the first crack at navigating out of the harbor without George assisting. Dean lost. Cas headed out to untie them while Dean turned down the music so he could concentrate. He turned on the system and felt the vibration of the motors starting.

Cas climbed the stairs back up to stand behind Dean as he used the small thrusters to steer the boat silently and smoothly out of its slip. It took ten minutes or so to navigate out of the Marina and into the river. Cas complemented Dean on his expert handling and enjoyed watching scenery pass by on either side of them. Once they exited the mouth of the river, they were able to speed up a bit. Soon they’d passed all the signs restricting speed - and they were flying.

The feeling was like no other. It was exhilarating to feel the wind in their hair as they passed between islands and other boats.

They had a long trip ahead of them, but the nerve-racking part was over.

As the miles stretched out in front of them, Cas pulled off his shirt and headed out to the sun deck. He spread himself out in the pad and tipped his head sideways, watching through aviators as the shoreline drifted by to the West of them. They hugged the coast as they made their way South and when Cas grew too hot, he headed inside and grabbed cold beers from the fridge.

Dean was looking much more comfortable in the Captain’s chair when Cas came up behind him to hand him a beer. They tipped the bottle necks together with a clink. It was impossible not to smile. Cas took over, relieving Dean, who headed aft to sit on the deck and watch their wake roll out behind them.

Cas monitored the navigation equipment carefully and worried that he’d miss the channel that cut inland from the ocean at their property. As it turned out, the worry hadn’t been necessary.

Even if he’d had no equipment at all, he would have seen the channel. It was a wide gaping mouth to navigate into. As he gently turned the ship, his eyes marveled at how beautiful the water was shining brightly in the sun. He couldn’t wait to bring Anna here to see it.

One of the things that was nice about their property was that it had a naturally occurring harbor, right off the channel. It seemed to be just deep enough that even when the tide went out, it would still be sufficient for their vessel.  He maneuvered easily in – since there weren’t any other boats and kept an eye on the depth as he neared land. He trolled around for a bit, finding the best place to anchor and then clicked on the speaker system and spoke into the microphone to let Dean know that he was ready to drop anchor. When Dean joined him, he had binoculars around his neck.

“Where’d you find those?”

“The equipment locker,” He smiled, “I can see pretty far with them. There’s a lot moving in those trees Cas,” he smiled as he gestured towards the line of trees on shore.

They passed the viewers back and forth for a few minutes as they decided what to do first.

“Well,” said Cas, “There’s lots we _should_ do. But if I’m honest… what I _want_ to do is go around to all the tree’s we marked with Pete… and pick the one that will be ours.”

Dean grinned widely at the prospect. “I’m in.”

“Should we blow up the raft first – for going back and forth to shore?” Cas asked, “or put that off for later and just swim it this time?”

Dean was already moving, “I’ll race you!” he shouted over his shoulder. As they moved to the back of the ship they were shoving each other’s shoulders trying to get an edge and then they burst out onto the swim platform and launched themselves into the still water. They swam shoulder to shoulder, neither man able to pull ahead, and pushed themselves up onto the sandy beach at the same time, breathing heavily.

“We didn’t think this through Cas.” Huffed Dean.

“How so?” he asked cocking his head to the side and squinting against the sun.

“Um… we can’t just go trapesing through the jungle in bare feet.”

Cas was silent for a beat and then looked up at Dean. They both huffed a laugh as they turned back toward the water.

“I’ll beat you this time, fucker” teased Cas as he ran through the shallows before plunging in. They swam together again, less hurried this time, and both elbowed up on the swim platform at the same time.

Cas made some sandwiches and packed up their backpacks while Dean worked on getting the raft ready. They motored to shore in the late afternoon sun, which cast everything in a misty orange glow.

The hike was just as difficult as it had been when they looked at this property with the realtor. There were no paths or markers… no trail to follow. In some places it was so thick that they had to take turns in the front, literally hacking their way through. They skirted the first lake to the west and from there they knew they were halfway to the open water beach. Both men were certain they wanted a beach adjacent tree house – even though it would end up being less private. It was getting dark by the time they found the one they thought they wanted.

It was actually quite perfect. It was close enough to the beach to swim anytime. But far enough back in the tree line to have privacy. There was one other tree near it that was marked to become a tree house and the boys thought they would use it as a ‘guest house’ for when friends or family visited. Cas sunk down at the base of the tree while they talked and rested.

Dean had pulled his Swiss Army Knife out and was marking the tree as theirs. When he’d finished, Cas was ready to get moving. The jungle noises were actually quite creepy now that it was completely dark and it didn’t escape his attention how far they really were from civilization.

He stood, stretching, ready to head back toward the beach. Dean shined his flashlight on the tree, and checked his handy-work. Cas looked at it over his shoulder and tried not to melt. Dean had carved their initials into it. DW + CM.

Dean didn’t pause, just clapped Cas on the shoulder as he moved past and they headed for the beach single file.

It was far too dark to hike back through the jungle so they kept to the beach. It was much easier than hacking through the jungle had been, but it was still a workout moving through the sand. The sound of the waves lapping beside them was pleasant and the men didn’t bother trying to hurry – just enjoying the walk on their beach.

When they came to the channel they turned west, finally able to see their beautiful boat sleeping quietly in the harbor about half-way between where they stood on their beach and the lagoon far in the distance. They began walking again, moving parallel to the channel until they reached their raft.

They kicked off their boots and threw them into it with their packs and shoved it out into the water. They hopped in and Dean pulled the cord to start up the little motor. After hours of nothing but the sounds of nature around them, the roar of the engine seemed too loud as it cut through the stillness of the night.

Cas leaned back against the side of the raft and was taken aback by the stars. He’d never seen the night sky lit up like this. He tapped Dean and gestured skyward and they both stared for a moment, spellbound.

Back at the yacht, they tied up and climbed aboard - sweaty, sore, tired and dirty. By silent agreement they moved to the shower first and then collapsed on the bed, completely exhausted.

“Best day of my life, Cas.”

“Me too Dean.”

 

 

 

Sam and Susan moved through the room together well. She was definitely turning heads in her glittery red scoop-neck dress, and when she caught a glimpse of her ex, she didn’t even have say so. Sam felt her tense up on his arm. Playing the part of the younger love interest, he leaned in and whispered in her ear to ask, “Which one is he?”

“Charlie Chaplin wanna-be at 2 o’clock”

He huffed a genuine laugh and steered her past him, letting the man think she hadn’t even seen him. Then he swung her wide and snapped her back into a dance. It couldn’t have gone better if he’d practiced it with her. She was easy to lead. They danced a few times and worked their way around the room shaking hands (as they were meant to at these kind of functions) and making sure that everyone knew that Winchester Law had been here supporting the cause.

Dean’s mother was actually involved in the running of this event so he had no doubt he’d see her at some point this evening.

It was when he excused himself to the bar for drinks that his life changed forever.

He was turning back to make a hand gesture to his date that he’d be right back, and as he turned back forward to approach the bar… he collided with a waitress and unseated her entire tray of drinks.

He saw it happen in slow motion, but was unable to do anything to prevent the chaos that ensued. As the tray tipped away from him, he reached to try and help catch it. So did the waitress. They ended up clunking heads and actually projecting the tray outward towards several party-goers who were leaning casually on the bar.

The nearest people wound up wearing ice cold drinks… mostly one very old man and the young woman he was speaking with - who both turned to gape at him as he fumbled to help the waitress pick up her tray and glasses while apologizing profusely.

The bartender sent out a reinforcement to help with clean up. As he looked up to meet eyes with the people whose night he’d just ruined, he was stunned to be greeted by the single most captivating smile he’d ever seen. The wearer of that smile was helping the older gentleman get mopped up as she turned her mesmerizing eyes on him. He lost the power of speech and just stared at her.

“Well, if it isn’t Dr. Mc Dreamy” she quipped and smiled at him. She had the warmest smile and the loveliest blue eyes he’d ever seen.

“I’m so sorry… I don’t… I…” he stammered as he surveyed the damage in the general area.

“We’re ok, aren’t we Grandpa?” she encouraged him.

He begrudgingly agreed with her and offered a hand to Sam to shake before excusing himself to the bathroom to wash up. Sam just hung his head. There was no coming back from this.

“Well, doctor, since I never plan to wear this again in my life - you could just buy me a drink instead of offering to pay for the dry cleaning.” She smiled disarmingly at him.

He stepped up to the bar, eyeing her little white nurses outfit, surveying the damage. The bartender, assuming he must need another towel, handed him a damp bar cloth. He took it and handed it to the nurse, just in case. Then he asked what she’d like and watched her order a hurricane.

“What’s in that?” he asked.

“Everything.” She giggled. It was a sweet sound. He fought the urge to stare at her but it was impossible. She was absolutely perfect. Her face was a flawless balance cuteness and striking beauty. She was very much a ‘girl next door’ type. Her body was curvy and voluptuous and her thick blonde curls cascaded over her shoulders. “You should try it.” She said holding the glass out for him. He kept his eyes on hers as he leaned in and took a pull from her straw.

“It’s delicious.” He said honestly.

“Do you want one?” she asked him.

“I think there’s enough people staring at me already,” he hedged. “I’m Sam.”

“Jessica. Nice to meet you,” she said while extending her hand. “What firm are you with?”

“Winchester Law. You?”

“I’m not here in professional capacity,” she told him. “I come every year with my grandfather. This was a cause very near to my Grandma’s heart. She devoted a lot of time and resources to it and they used to attend together. Now that she’s gone… I come with him so he won’t have to come alone.”

“That’s very kind of you,” he smiled.

“It’s family.” She said firmly, “besides – it’s all for a good cause.”

With that, she looked past him, to where her grandfather was emerging from the men’s room. “I better check in on him,” she told him and smiled graciously as she excused herself. Sam was left staring after her.

As she moved away from him into the crowd, he looked around the room. His clumsy incident seemed to have been forgotten about. Around him people were conversing in small groups, eating hors d'oeuvres, moving around the tables of the silent auction or dancing. As his eyes travelled the dance floor, he saw Susan in her eye catching red dress swiveling her hips on the dance floor with someone he didn’t recognize. Go Susan.

When she returned to his arm, he couldn’t help but tell her about his awkward collision with the waitress and the incredible woman he’d met because of it. She asked him to point her out.

Sam glanced around the room and zeroed in on her, chatting with a couple ladies near the food. He didn’t point, just told Susan that she was the beautiful one dressed as a nurse.

“There’s three or four nurses over there Sam, you’ll have to be more specific.”

“Oh. I only saw one,” he smiled and leaned his head in closer, “the one with the long blond hair.” He glanced at her and saw that she was still scanning the crowd. “The only nurse that doesn’t look like a slut.” He clarified.

She smiled and said, “10 o’clock?”

“Yes. Fantastic isn’t she?”

“She is. She’s a lawyer too. Did you know?”

“I only know her name is Jessica.” _And that she’s a bottom. And that she’s very kind._

“Ah. Well, it’s Jessica Moore. She works at Legal-Aid. Lives over in SOMA.”

“Susan, you are an excellent wingman! Why don’t you just head over there and ask her out for me?” he teased her.

“I can put in a good word for you if you’d like?” _Yes!_

“Don’t over sell it” he teased as he followed her over.

When they approached her, Jessica immediately greeted Susan warmly and thanked her for something she’d recently done to assist with a case. Then, Susan leaned in conspiratorially and said, “I heard you met our Sam… the hard way.” the ladies shared a laugh and then Susan steered the conversation effortlessly to include him and stepped away at just the appropriate moment when the subject matter began to grow personal between Sam and Jessica.

“Jess,” she’d told him, “Call me Jess.”

He’d listened intently when she’d talked of her family and her work. She was clearly very bright and was one of the few people who earned a law degree and sought to benefit others with it. She practically glowed with an inner light. Every time their eyes connected he felt a deep yearning to be closer to her and she seemed to be feeling it too.

They shared a dance together and when Sam finally bumped into his mother, Jess was by his side.

Mary was utterly taken with Jess. It was obvious. As the two of them chatted, Sam’s mind travelled to Max. Sam marveled at the simplicity of meeting new people now that he’d learned to start with the underlying question of top or bottom. Max had been right so far. It was very easy to tell. And it was a very reliable predictor of someone’s tendencies.

For instance, even though he’d been highly embarrassed and stressed when he’d met Jess, he’d just had a feeling about her right away. A connection. A click.

He’d heard people say similar things before, “Oh we just clicked when we met.” It was a common phrase. But did people really understand what it meant? Sam didn’t think so.

But it was fundamental. It was the click of complementary puzzle pieces coming together… a top and a bottom. If there was a sexual attraction with it – it was very powerful. He could see why some would mistake it for love at first sight; because it really did emulate a feeling of belonging together.

Max had been right that it was easier to get to know people this way – just starting at their core and working from there. The old Sam would’ve met Jess and just seen another pretty face. Perhaps would’ve been impressed that family seemed to be important to her. That’s it.

But now, the new Sam saw her very differently. He saw her as someone who was motivated by the good of the ‘team’ rather than by individual rewards or success. He saw her as someone who would be patient with him, with life, with children. She would be confident enough to stand with him in life even when it was hard, and to see their decisions through.

In short… within a few minutes of meeting her he already knew that she had the potential to be a lifelong partner for him. The old Sam would’ve had to date her for months to notice that she was going to be different and special. Not now. He knew immediately.

The fact that they seemed to share some chemistry added to his desire to see her again. He was going to ask her for a date before they left this function tonight, and he couldn’t wait to get to know her better.

 

 

 

 

 

Cas woke to a chorus of birds singing and the sun shining in through the windows. He was stiff and sore from hiking for hours through thick underbrush yesterday. _I suppose I’ll get used to it soon enough_ – he thought. He rolled out of the bed and moved toward the galley where he put on a pot of coffee and began the makings of a real breakfast. He was starving.

He hadn’t been at it for long when Dean slid up behind him and wrapped an arm around his middle, laying a kiss on his neck. Cas tilted his head hoping for another as he turned eggs and sausage into a scramble.

Dean poured coffee and then dug through yesterday’s things to get their phones on chargers and pull out their paperwork. Cas turned his attention to getting food on plates and pouring juice for them as Dean began going over lists.

Cas watched his man concentrate as he waited for his food to cool, and smiled as he remembered back to last night. Dean carving their initials in the tree… it warmed him from the inside.

“What’s on the agenda for today?”

“More hiking,” answered Dean while cracking his neck.

“Where to?”

“Well… the property boundaries are marked with flags from the survey. While they’re fresh I’d like to get over to the other end and mark out the runway since that will end up being the visual boundary to the locals that they’re crossing onto our land and then while we’re over there, we can decide for sure if we need a fence or not. I’ve got the Platt maps around here somewhere…” says Dean, looking around, “and I’d like to check our positioning of the road we’ve drawn that will circle the complex. You know, just to make sure we’re happy with its placement from the ground before the heavy equipment arrives.

Actually, if it’s possible, I’d like to double check everything we’ve drawn out – in real life before we actually start clearing the trees.”

“Okay. That seems smart.” Cas said, consulting his own set of lists, “did you say the windmill people are coming next week?”

“No it’s the other company, can’t think of their name off the top of my head, but it’s the ones who are building the base for it. I think they’re in on Tuesday.”

“Are we picking them up and bringing them here?”

“Surprisingly, no. They just asked for coordinates and said they’d be here.”

“What about the dredging? Have we okayed the quote on that yet?”

“Ummm no. That came back really high. I was going to ask you about it.”

The men went back and forth like this for several hours before they had all the details of the coming week hammered out and the respective phone calls made.

One of the biggest problems they’d come up against so far was that there was no land on their property feasible for either the water tower or the windmill that they’d planned on building to provide for their basic utility needs. It was all too soft and too wet.

The windmill company had told them there might be a base that could be built to support the structure but would likely be so expensive that they’d be better off dredging the sea floor to build up a more solid foundation.

Dean and Cas had spent days researching the dredging process and the pricing information they’d received from a few contractors. In the end, Cas had suggested that rather than dredging up soil from off shore, they simply dig into one of the two swampy areas on their property. If they dug out enough sand and silt – the swamp would become a lake. Much nicer. Then the extracted dirt and silt could be piled to create a more solid sight for the windmill and water tower. They’d guessed that by adding another 20 – 30 feet in elevation in that way, they could avoid having to fabricate the more expensive base for the windmill.

So far, there weren’t any problems they couldn’t handle and things seemed to be going as well as could be expected. They had several items come back more expensive than anticipated but they’d allowed for some of that and were certain they’d be able to find some things they could do for themselves when it was time for the finishing touches. Hopefully that would be enough to make up the shortages they were creating in the budget by going over the amounts they’d set for themselves in the initial stages.

That day, they did hike again. They took the same path as the previous night until they reached the first lake but this time they turned west, hacking their way through the dense undergrowth as they went. They navigated around the three main lakes and took coordinates frequently so they could make sure the water locations were all correctly drawn on the Platt map before they actually started building roads. Once they got near the middle of the property – they hit swamp. Moving through it was not an option. They skirted the edge of it and found it to be larger than they thought.

When they reached their flags marking the end of their property, they pulled tree markers out of their backpacks and began deciding where the tree line would be and set to work marking it. This had to be done for the length of the runway – which was basically the entire width of their property. Essentially, the runway would run from the open water beach, across their property and end when it met the lagoon on the other side.

When Dean pictured it completed, it was an asphalt runway with a hanger on the lagoon side. A chain link fence would run along one side of the runway (marking the end of the resort property) and a nice clean line of trees would run along the other side of it which would be the beginning of their jungle. 

Right now, Dean wasn’t sure if they could even afford to pave the runway – let alone fence the property. But they set to work marking the tree line for now, since that was something they were certain of.

Once again, they found themselves hiking back in the dark along the beach. This time, they took off their shoes and enjoyed the walk barefoot in the surf. It was much more pleasant that way. They took a break at the point (the upper corner of their property where the canal met the sea). From here they could still hear the waves breaking behind them, even as they looked down the water’s edge and saw their yacht moored in the distance and the lagoon beyond that.

They sat down to rest, leaning back to back on each other, and Dean asked Cas if he wanted to take a break from hiking tomorrow and do their planning for their little marina. A day in the water sounded perfect to Cas. He let his head rest back against Deans for a few minutes and then pulled himself to his feet.

“C’mon,” he said, pulling Dean up, “I’m starving.”

Dean handed Cas his last power bar.

“No thanks. If I eat another one of those I’ll puke.”

Dean started walking and said he’d make them a good dinner when they got back to the boat. They cracked open beers while Dean grilled hamburgers and they finished off the night laying on the sun deck, staring up at the stars. It was so enchanting to float on the water, gaze at the sky and listen to the night sounds of the jungle. Cas could feel his desire curling in his belly as he looked at Deans profile in the silvery moon light.

He reached over and ran his palm along Dean’s thigh as they laid there, and soon both men were caressing each other smoothly. When a soft tongue traced the line of his throat, Cas let out a soft groan and turned his face to his lover. He bent his head forward and put his mouth to Dean’s sensitive nipples. He took his time swirling them, flicking them, sucking them and nibbling them as their hands continued to explore each other with an increasing urgency.

It didn’t take long for Dean to reach out for a bottle of suntan lotion that had been left up here and squeeze some into his palm. He passed the bottle to Cas who did the same and then, with gloriously slippery hands, they took hold of one another’s stiff cocks and began a smooth and easy hand job.

Their legs twitched as they built together and they enjoyed competing with the night creatures of the jungle – letting their sexy noises be heard.

Both men exhaled deeply and sprawled out in satisfaction when they’d come and didn’t move for quite some time. It was late when they finally headed down to bed.

When the sun came up in the morning, they motored the yacht around their little harbor, checking the depth and finding the deepest place. Once they had that, they jumped into the water and swam ashore. They splashed and played as they took their measurements and discussed how many docks they wanted to have and if they were happy with the locations they’d marked on the map for the buildings in this area.

Since they were so close to the boat all day, they were able to grill steaks and have a three drink lunch while blasting Bob Marley on the sound system. After they ate they bobbed in the turquoise water on inner tubes, just floating around in the hot sun and listening to the music. They traded turns at playfully flipping the other off their inner tube and into the water if they happened to fall asleep.

That afternoon they even took some videos which Cas uploaded to their friends back home before they sat down at the Platt map again to complete the days’ work by using their coordinates to correctly position the drawings of their docks and adjacent buildings.

The next few weeks progressed in much the same manner. Their days were spent alternating between the kinds of tasks they’d been daydreaming about from the beginning. They hiked their four square miles of paradise until they knew it like the back of their hands. They took the time to consistently update their Platt maps as they went so that when the contractors built according to the maps – there would be very little margin for error.

Sandwiched in between days of hiking and swimming they had meetings with their contractors and oversaw the beginnings of real progress. The dredging contractor was already getting started. Large ships and trucks were now coming and going. They were using a combination of onshore and offshore dredging to separate the water from the solids and put each where they boys needed it to be.

Things were getting ugly. There were service roads tearing into their jungle and geotextile tubes being unrolled in systematic lines across several locations on their property. The same company was working on getting their harbor ‘beefed up’ with a better sea wall and deepening the channel for better access, as well as carving their marina and adding the pilings for the docks.

The general contractor had been through a few times to check see which service roads he could use and to oversee the delivery and placement of his materials.

The windmill and the water tower were on indefinite hold until the dredging projects were finished.

When the boys weren’t meeting with anyone, they were still having fun. They swam their harbor and their beach, making note of anything hazardous and adding it to the map along with the constant changes that came up. They drew boundaries on the map for the edges of swamp and they even took the boat off shore to check out the sandbars and small reef nearby.

Dean was still making sure to call Mary every few days. She seemed to actually enjoy hearing about the ins and outs of their project as changes were made and he found that she was very intuitive with problem solving. So, whenever something came up that had them scratching heads… he’d always call her for advice.

When the resort was finished their main roads would be paved but there would also be an extensive network of manicured foot paths that ran between the tree houses, restaurants, buildings and staff quarters. Dean and Cas made marks on the map to indicate the low lying areas so they could come back and build wooden decks and bridges - so that when there was rain, guests wouldn’t have to walk through mud.

Then, one day, Dean called Cas from across the property where he was meeting with the excavator and said the last road was officially grated. They now had all their roads… they just weren’t paved yet.

 

They’d been very careful in their layout of the roads to suit their ‘end game’ of how the resort would be used and were thrilled that they could now maneuver around the property fully by jeep. “Cas,” said Dean, “It’s time to go get the cars.”

“Great. We can make a supply run. I’m fucking tired of mac n cheese.” He laughed.

 

 

 

Sam was sitting at his desk. He had a few minutes before he needed to leave for the board meeting. His days of working through lunches were over. He’d hit his stride and was balancing his workload well. He’d even been assigned his first case. It was simple and would likely settle without ever stepping into a courtroom – but it was his.

He was no longer apprehensive about board meetings either. The executives didn’t seem to hold any grudges against him for his less than stellar performance in their first vote or for the fall out over Dean’s affair with Cas which he’d fully admitted to handling poorly.

His hands toyed with the phone in his lap. His thumb swiped over the lock screen and toyed with Dean’s number. This happened all the time. He’d _almost_ called Dean so many times since his graduation. He had to remind himself that just because he was starting to feel human again – didn’t mean that he’d suddenly have Dean’s forgiveness.

The board members may not be holding it against him – but they didn’t have a personal stake in it either. Dean had been wronged. Atrociously. By his own brother. There was no way to expect forgiveness from Dean. He knew that on a logical level. But in his heart, he hoped for it just the same. Especially since having met Jess.

She was a force in his life equal to no other. Her influence was all over him like cologne. And she had taken his moral compass and pointed it due North. With her, he was the best version of himself.

They’d fallen fast for each other and it was strong. He’d never been so sure of anything in his life. Ever. It had only been a few weeks but already… he couldn’t imagine her not being part of his life.

Without consulting him, his thumb ticked down and tapped Dean’s number. He took a deep breath. In the split second it took for the call to connect, saw Jess in his mind’s eye. Had he even told her that he had a brother?

The call connected with a few clicks and then a message played that the number was no longer being used. What the fuck?  Did Dean get a new phone? Or had he just blocked Sam’s number?

He stood from his chair and grabbed his things, heading up to the executive level for the board meeting. In the elevator on the way up, all he could think of was, ‘Oh my god. He’s blocked my number. He really doesn’t want anything to do with me.’

It was a punch to the gut to have his suspicions confirmed. And now, another punch to the gut: he had to walk past John’s office. Months of working here – it still hit him like that. Every time.

The meeting was a bad one. The numbers weren’t where they needed to be. If they wanted the books to balance and the year to end on budget, they’d need to further reduce staff. Dozens more people would have to be let go.

“We can’t…” Sam protested softly, “We just can’t.”

“We must. We have to get the bottom line where it needs to be or _we’ll all_ be out of a job.” said Bixler, “there’s no way around it!”

“There must be,” said Sam quietly. In his mind, Sam could already hear the intake of breath when Jess found out that more people were going to lose their jobs. People with families and mortgages whose children would now have a father or mother out of work – at a time when it was VERY dangerous to be out of work. Good jobs were hard to come by now.

“Wait,” said Sam louder. “Just wait.” He stood, felt Jess at his elbow urging him on, even though she was nowhere near him. “We’ve been here before. We made a rash decision… myself included. I don’t know about you guys but I don’t want to make that mistake again. My dad wouldn’t have done this. You guys know that. He would’ve figured something out!”

“Well, Sam,” Bixler countered in a condescending voice, “If you have a better idea… I’m all ears. But so far, this is the best course of action. We have got to shore up the money… we’re a leaky dam right now!”

“Ok,” Sam agreed, “but not today. We owe it to my dad, who groomed all of you, and we owe it to our employees. We should give it a week. We can all brainstorm and see what we can come up with. Can we all just agree to postpone the vote on this issue until next week’s meeting?”

Sam felt strong support coming from several senior board members and forced himself to remain composed. They continued through the rest of the agenda for the meeting and adjourned. But Sam didn’t return to his office afterwards. He went to Hooligans.

 

 

 

Cas took his turn navigating through the marina, biting his lower lip and concentrating as he watched the bottom, watched for other boats, found their slip and used the thrusters to gently ease into it. He wasn’t quite as smooth at it as Dean had been. But his goal had really been to just not hit any other boats. So… mission accomplished!

They tied off and headed to the parking lot. The first order of business was to get a room. They’d decided on spending the night, and just for kicks, they were planning to stay at the Christopher Columbus.

It was strange how pulling up there kind of felt like visiting the home of an old friend. Their room was in a different part of the hotel this time, but they walked to it the long way – through the pool.

The kids remembered them and immediately they were surrounded by excited chattering children. The boys hadn’t been practicing their Spanish so they’d backslid a little and found it more difficult to understand the kids. They managed to communicate that they’d be right back.

They hurried to their room, threw their bags on the bed and changed to swim trunks. Then they ran like kids down to the pool deck and leapt into the pool to play. They played ‘keep away’ games with the older boys and girls and towed the little ones around on floaties, tossing them into the air when they begged for it and watching them fly high before falling in the water.

When they’d fully exhausted themselves, they went to their room to rest. But it’s hard to rest when you're balls deep in your lovers tight heat and chasing a mind-bending orgasm.

With Dean on his knees, clutching the headboard and begging for more, Cas fucked into him hard and fast.

Their sweaty bodies heaved together again and again as Dean arched his back and pushed back against Cas. They tried to keep quiet but it was useless when they were so full of desire. Their bodies were tan all over now – no swimsuit lines being the bonus you get when you’ve spend enough time naked in the sun.

The rippled muscles borne of manual labor and constant exercise constricted forcefully as they thrust their solid bodies together and the sounds of skin slapping skin became louder even than their heavy breaths and groans.

When Dean came, he blew a forceful stream of translucent jizz onto the headboard and gave a shout before Cas was able to get a hand over his mouth to silence him. With his hand still covering Deans mouth, Cas thrust into him harder and faster seeking to blow up like Dean had. His ass cheeks were burning from exertion as he hammered into his man and finally felt himself peak. He clamped down and locked his frame as he emptied himself into Dean.

The boys slept hard after… falling asleep while it was still light outside and not waking until morning.

They had lots to do today and it began with a supply run. This time, they had a better idea of what they would really need and what they were capable of storing. They made two trips to the market. When they unloaded, they used the extra bedroom for storage and were able to take on bigger containers of non-perishable foods and fresh water. They didn’t buy the cases of single bottles that had proven cumbersome and difficult to throw away.

They took a break and headed back to the hotel. But instead of heading to the pool, they headed to the bar. They went to the man who had always seemed the nicest and explained that they needed to hire a driver for the day and inquired if there was anyone in the bar that was known to be trustworthy that might be interested. To their surprise the man offered to do it himself.

The three of them set out for the marina where the man, Javier, parked his little beat up car. Dean explained that they had to go through the preserve and then come back towards Kaski from the South because there were no roads from the North, and no bridge to get the vehicles across the channel.

Javier said he understood and explained that it would be a difficult journey and that there wasn't enough daylight left to complete it today. Dean hadn’t attempted to travel this way yet, but he knew the man was probably right. There was a road that went about halfway through the preserve but once they reached the end of it they’d be on dirt roads or ‘off road’ for about fifty miles. Plus, for a small part of their journey they’d be within a few miles of the border with Nicaragua and Dean had no idea if that would present challenges.

Javier suggested they begin the journey tomorrow to avoid any possibility of having to be out after dark. The boys took him at his word that this was a smart plan. Slowly he asked them what they were doing and he listened as they explained in broken Spanish that they needed to get the two vehicles to the resort, but without a third driver that left someone having to make the journey alone while the other brought the boat back. Javier agreed that that traveling together was much safer and the three made plans to meet for breakfast as soon as the sun was up and begin the trip. 

Dean and Cas resigned themselves to another night in town and decided to just relax and enjoy it. They had gone weeks ago to the shipping company and picked up their boxes, transferring them to a local storage unit until their tree house was finished. But now, with time to kill, the boys decided to go to the unit and dig out their ‘toy boxes’ and bring them on board the yacht. Dean was joking about the alien probing device but Cas knew what he really wanted. It had been a long time since his man had felt the enticing buzz of a vibrator between his legs. Cas could sympathize.

The boxes in question had all been labeled “ANNA” in a fit of laughter as they’d packed up the condo… so they were easy to find. Once they’d stashed the boxes on the yacht, they headed back to the hotel for dinner and a swim with the kids. The boys were given dinner with Javier’s family and after they cleaned their plates, the two spent a little more time in the pool with the kids before calling it a night.

For the second night in a row, they ended the day working hard to keep their sex noises quiet in their little hotel room. Cas marveled at how quickly they’d gotten used to carrying on as loudly as they wanted while they fucked each other. Now, sweating in their little bed, he clamped his mouth and whined as this orgasm overtook him with a rush of pleasure that left him breathless. He felt Dean grow larger inside him and turned his head to watch Deans muscular body drive into him relentlessly. They eyes met for a moment, connected, and Deans lips parted in a moan as he gripped Cas' hips and fucked in impossibly deeper and harder and longer. Cas bent his back in supplication and encouraged him, enjoying the aftershocks of his own pleasure while Dean found his end and poured himself into Cas.

The next day was a long one. But Javier turned out to be right about the difficulties of the trip. And, he’d been able to communicate with the locals for them, when needed. He saved them at least an hour or two when he found that there was a ferry across a river that they’d been planning to navigate around. The boys were very glad they’d brought him.

It had been nerve racking watching those beautiful new machines being driven onto the log raft that constituted a ‘ferry’ in these parts.

But, as they completed the crossing, Dean looked over at Cas and saw him thrilling with the ‘adventure’ aspect of it all. Dean couldn’t help but enjoy it along with him.

The absolute worst part of the journey was the last five miles they had to cover before emerging out onto their own newly leveled dirt road. They had to navigate a very thick jungle over very wet ground. The ‘road’ was little more than a wide trail that snaked through the relentless overgrowth. Dean prayed that they hadn’t come all this way just to get the vehicles stuck in the mud a few miles from their destination. The men had to use the winches once to pull themselves through a muddy gully and wound up with a scratch on the door of the red jeep where a large branch snapped and lanced it.

The last few hours were full of tension as the hot afternoon wore on around them. But finally, they emerged onto the runway. From there they sailed smoothly around the graceful circle that would one day connect all the important buildings in their compound.

For now, there was nothing to see. It was just a dirt road from which to observe dredging and deforestation. He hoped that Javier wouldn’t be offended at what they were doing to the beautiful jungle they had purchased. Dean made a silent promise that he’d invite the families of the Christopher Columbus to spend a weekend in their tree houses when it was finished; let them see the finished product of their invasive efforts.

Without the yacht here, there was nothing. No place to refuel or use a bathroom or grab food. The men took a piss along the tree line and then all three climbed into the red Jeep together. It was a long trip back to civilization. They managed to make it back to the paved road before it got to dark and all three were exhausted when they finally passed through the main gate at the marina. Rather than send Javier on his way with payment, the boys offered him to come aboard with them. He accepted with a smile and settled into a comfortable chair on deck with Dean while Cas headed inside to grab drinks and put some music on. After leaving his companions with cold beers, Cas also threw together a large plate of hearty sandwiches before settling on deck. 

When Javier was full and rested, he lingered only a little longer before taking his payment and heading out. Dean and Cas trudged to bed shortly after, knowing they were only halfway done with this single chore. The following morning, they set out for the resort. Compared to reaching the resort by land… the trip back by boat was blissfully peaceful. Easy. Cas cranked up the music and Dean drove most of the way. 

Not wanting to waste daylight, the boys didn't stop when they reached their harbor. They immediately packed up bags of supplies and went ashore, sliding into the Jeep they'd left here. Again, they had to winch themselves out of the little gully that they'd been stuck in before. But, at least they made it back to the paved roads before dark and were able to consider the trip a success.

The weary boys spent one more night at the Christopher Columbus and then set out in the early morning to pick up the Jeep they'd left at the Marina. They drove caravan style, staying together. Getting the boat and both Jeeps to the resort had been an arduous process and it left them both with lots of questions about how they'd handle the transportation of their guests over land when the resort was open. They'd known this would be a problem, but so far, they'd done a good job of putting it out of their minds.

Once they were back on board their yacht that night, they were too tired to bother with cooking. Cas left Dean to microwave them something and crawled into bed. He barely woke when he felt Dean tuck in beside him and declined the dish he was offered in favor of sleep. But, he lifted his leg to allow Dean’s to slide under it and they exchanged a kiss in the dark before Cas let himself fall back into a deep sleep.

 

 

 

 

Sam ended up getting completely trashed at Hooligans. Being there reminded him of Dean and compounded the frustrations he was feeling regarding the impending wave of additional layoffs at the firm. He’d started off just hitting happy hour to relax and wound up propped against the bar and calling Jess to come get him while the room spun.

She came. He half expected her to lecture him for getting loaded or show a look of disappointment when she got there. But as usual, she surprised him by handling the situation far better than he could’ve hoped for. She simply pulled him to a booth and settled in – ordering herself a drink and looking at him intently.

“What’s wrong Sam?”

He sipped on his water and found that the tilt of the spinning room was pleasant if he had her face to focus on across the table, “the board wants to lay off more people to balance the budget.”

The look on her face spoke volumes, “when?” she asked quietly.

“Immediately.”

“Oh my God.”

“I know. I asked them to post-pone the vote for a week and give me a chance to try and come up with something. It’s what my dad would’ve done. Now if only he were here to help me figure out what the fuck to do…”

“You need to bring in some new clients. That’s the only solution that will satisfy the board. Use borrowed money to keep the budget balanced until their fees start coming in.”

“That sounds simple. But I have no idea how to procure new clients. We’re not in personal injury… I can’t just follow an ambulance and start handing out cards,” he laughed into his glass.

“No. But I think I can help you.” She said calmly.

Sam looked at her with a puzzled expression, “Do tell.”

“Let me think on it tonight. We’ll go over it in the morning when you’re feeling better, ok?”

“Okay.” He said limply.

“Can you finish that water so I can take you home?”

He nodded for her and then did his best to get to her car without leaning on her too much. His head lolled against the window as she drove them back to her place and then he did lean on her some as they shuffled up to her door and moved silently toward her room.

She stripped him down and he flopped gracelessly into her bed, allowing himself to enjoy her soft hand stroking his hair as he waited to pass out on her cool sheets.

“Did I ever even tell you that I have a brother?” he asked her.

“No. But your mother did. She said you guys don’t speak.”

“I can’t believe she told you that.”

“Well, she didn’t say it like she was telling me a secret. It just came out while we were talking about other things. She said she misses him and the rest just followed.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I figured you’d tell me about it when you were ready. And, you did. See? You just told me.”

“I guess. I wonder why she misses him… did he stop speaking to her?”

“No, he just moved.”

Sam sat up a little. “Where? When?”

“Months ago, I guess. He moved to Honduras with his boyfriend.”

Sam sat up ramrod straight in the bed, “HONDURAS??? Dean moved to fucking HONDURAS? What the FUCK-HELL FOR?”

“Sam, please calm down,” she said laying a hand on his chest. Surprisingly, he did. He settled back onto the pillows and repeated his questions in a quieter voice. “Why did he go there?”

“I guess they were both having trouble finding work… especially the boyfriend. He was blacklisted by his parents. Between that and having his face on the news – he just couldn’t find anything.”

“Why Honduras?”

“I guess they went there on vacation and fell in love with the place. They planned to open a resort.”

Sam’s mind was reeling with this information. So much he hadn’t known – and even more reasons for his brother to hate him. He’d been unable to find another job… had to leave the _country_.

Guilt swam over Sam in the form of nausea and he bolted for the bathroom to heave into her toilet.

She was right behind him, of course, rubbing his back and whispering to him. When he staggered back to the bed, she laid a cool cloth on his forehead and held his hand to ground him.

Tears began spilling down the side of his face despite his best efforts. She wiped them away for him but they just kept coming.

“Why don’t you guys speak, Sam?”

“Because I betrayed him,” he sobbed. “I voted to have him fired from the company.”

“Why?”

“Because I was a stupid, angry bastard, that’s why.”

“The board didn’t fire him because of you. What did he do?”

“He had an affair with the son of our biggest client. Cas. Castiel Milton. The son of Charles Milton the third of Baxter/Milton pharmaceuticals. The guy is a total homophobe and when he found out, he pulled his business from us because Dean was seeing Cas. The board agreed to try getting rid of Dean to see if the man would bring his business back to the firm. He didn’t.”

“Why did you go along with that? You said you were angry. Why?”

“Because he kept it secret from me. He lied and said he and Cas were just friends. But I saw the way they were with each other and knew better. I was mad that he shut me out.”

“Did you ever talk to him about it?”

“No.”

“Not even after?”

“No. The last thing he said to me was on the day we let him go. He said that I was a self-righteous son of a bitch. And he was absolutely right.”

“You’re sorry. I can tell. Have you told him?”

“Like it matters.”

She pressed her body against his urgently, “Oh it does, Sam. It does matter. So much. You have to tell him.”

“He won’t forgive me. It’s not possible.”

“Why wouldn’t he forgive you? You’re brothers.”

“Because, Jess. Clearly I’ve ruined his life. He’s living in a third world country because of me! It’s bad enough that I had him fired… but that’s not even the worse of what I’ve done to my brother.”

“What else?” she asked him calmly, “What else have you done?”

“Our dad is gone now Jess, and he and Dean were tight. Close. I didn’t just make him unemployed. I took it... I took his last connection to our father. I took away our dad from him. I took his legacy… his chance to make something of himself in our fathers firm. It’s…” he breathed deeply a few times, trying to keep his voice from hitching, “It’s just… it’s…” a sob wrenched out of him and he turned into her arms and wailed, “It’s fucking unforgiveable- what I’ve done! There’s no way to get past it. I’ve ruined his life and taken something that wasn’t mine to take. I took our father from him!”

She held him firmly in her arms and petted his hair. She whispered words that were meant to be soothing – but nothing could ease the pain in his heart.

 

The next morning, over coffee and aspirin, she told him her plan. She knew of two cases over at legal aid that involved work that Winchester Law would be proficient in and the clincher was - they were news worthy.

She said she would refer those cases to Winchester Law and Sam would influence the board to take them on pro-bono. The people would receive excellent legal services for free. Winchester Law would have a massive push of publicity as the cases played out in a public spectacle on the news. New clients would in come to the firm in droves after having seen the firm on the news.

It was brilliant.

Sam decided to call over to the business office and set a meeting to see how long they could continue to operate in the red on borrowed money. He needed to be able to give the board some estimates on timeframe.

With any luck… the firm would emerge stronger. It was a win-win.

“My girl is a genius!” he grinned, hugging her tightly.

“I know… tell your friends,” she teased him. Then she held out his phone to her. “Now. Call your brother. Then we’ll celebrate.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, Sam you can.”

“No, I really can’t. I think he’s blocking my calls.”

She nodded blankly. Stunned. Then she ushered his smelly, hung-over ass to the shower and promised pancakes would be waiting when he came out.

She moved to the kitchen and began mixing batter as she held her phone to her ear. “Hello Mary, its Jess. I have something important I need to talk to you about…”


	24. On To New Business

“Hey Cas”

“Good morning Dean,” he smiled while stretching.

“You want to take a drive with me?”

“Sure,” he said as he got out of bed, “where are we going?”

“Well, you remember that gully we had to winch out of when we drove in here a few weeks ago?”

“How could I forget?”

“I want to go out there and look at it again – take some measurements. I’d like to build a small bridge there,” he explained as he pulled on jeans and t-shirt. “And,” he added, “I’ll throw chain saws in the jeep and we can widen the road as we go.”

“So…” prompted Cas, “A good breakfast then? If we’re going to be playing lumberjacks today?”

“Yes… sausage and bacon with my eggs! It’ll be a Winchesters wet-dream breakfast!”

Cas finished dressing and headed to the galley. As he washed his hands, Dean stepped up behind him and laid a kiss on the back of his neck, “I’ll be back in a few. I’m going to go scrounge some stuff from Miguel.”

Cas took the time to chop some of their fresh veggies into a pan with the sausage and scramble it all together some cheese while bacon fried in another pan. Cas cleverly watched his pancakes and turned them without burning any – still managing to keep an eye on his other pans too.

When the eggs and meat were done, he sliced plantains and fried them up while pouring and flipping way more pancakes than they’d ever actually eat. He sprinkled cinnamon and honey on the plantains as they fried in the bacon grease.

Dean bustled back in, just as Cas was putting everything on the table. He had Miguel with him. “He had some stuff to go over anyway,” Dean explained, “I told him we could just have a quick meeting now,”

“Sure,” says Cas greeting Miguel warmly and handing him a plate, “Have a seat Miguel, we’ll talk while we eat.”

The men sat down together to enjoy a hearty breakfast.

“You know, Cas,” said Dean with a mouthful, “You’re getting damn good at this whole cookin’ thing.”

“Thank you Dean.”

Miguel nodded along, tucking in pancakes with the fried plantains and syrup. It wasn’t the first time that Miguel had been on the yacht with them. In fact, he’d sat at this table many times going over plans and discussing options, usually over beers. But this was the first time he’d had a meal with them.

His questions for today were mostly regarding their largest building on the property, the staff apartment building. It was to be three stories high… the maximum height that could be built on the land they were using.

The bottom floor was set to have all the indoor amenities that staff would want… a swimming pool, a gym, a game room, a conference room and a lounge among other things. The upper two floors would be apartments.

The blue prints had been done by an architectural firm in the capital, but Miguel still needed clarification on the site prep and the plumbing for the pool as well as a few suggested changes for how the electrical could be run better. He also had a suggestion regarding the shape of the balconies that would be part of each dwelling.

Once they were finished, Cas busied himself with the clean-up while Dean and Miguel went out to load up what Dean needed in the jeep.

Shortly after, they were off. Dean was driving and Cas was standing, leaning on the roll bar and enjoying the wind his hair. The sun was bright and both men were sporting aviators and sunscreen. Dean made two lazy loops around the main road which circled the resort, slowing as he approached each building site. Cas took pictures as they crept by each.

Very near to the harbor was the first set of buildings. Located on the edge of the biggest lake was to be an equipment ‘rental’ building that would house kayaks and water tricycles that guests could check-out and use to explore the large freshwater lake. It was going to look like a jungle hut when it was finished, but for now, the frame work was all that was built and it looked like the bare skeleton of any other large building.

Their next set of structures was near the point, where the channel opened out to the ocean. There were two structures here, spaced about 500 feet apart. One was to be a tiki bar which would serve quests on this end of the beach. It stood between the sand volleyball courts and the nearest beach front tree house. None of the tree houses were built yet. Pete and his crew weren’t due to arrive for that until the other structures on the property were completed.

The other building being framed in this area was set farther back into the tree line. It was close enough to the tiki bar for a quick walk, but far enough away and hidden by trees so it would not interfere with the fun of the beach scene. This small building was to be the main security office and a nurse’s station.

As they traveled down the road, running parallel to the actual beachfront, there were no buildings being framed. This area would be completely dominated by tree houses. The road was close enough for service vehicles to come and attend to the guests, but far enough from the beach that the noise from the road wouldn’t be heard by the guests in the treehouses here.

This stretch of road was over a mile long – all beach front tree houses. One of which would belong to Dean and Cas. Cas smiled as his eyes took in the green of the jungle around him and soon they were curving back to the east as they reached the southern border of the property. There was a network of buildings here and Dean slowed the jeep to a crawl as they looked around at all of them. There was another tiki bar out by the beach. Nearby to that, but not visible from the beach was the South East Office. This is where Dean and Cas’ actual office space would be – along with other executive level employees like their general manager, human resources manager, activities director, marketing manager and accountant. The call center staff would also be located here.

To the right side of the road, on the inside of the ‘circle’ of the main loop was another large building for equipment ‘rental’. Here guests would be able to check out paddle boats or stand up surf boards to tour the small manmade lake that didn’t really exist yet. Right now the area was swamp and looked awful. There was heavy equipment everywhere and trucks loaded with wet dirt were normally circuiting a route that wound through the middle of the ‘inner circle’ created by their paved loop of road. The building was framed completely and the roof was in progress. A few hundred feet from that was another small building also being roofed that would contain another nurse’s station.

Dean began speeding up again as they followed the section of road that ran parallel to the runway. You couldn’t see the runway from here – it was obscured by trees. But it was there. Less than fifty yards from the road they were on. Coming up on the right was the small building that would serve the large pool that was currently being dug. There would be a swim up bar and a lunch counter here as well as the showers and other amenities that would normally accompany a resort pool. At the opposite end of the pool was another building – but that was for staff. A break room for the pool staff and the maintenance area. As the road began to curve back to the north, running parallel to the lagoon, a large dune of dark sand rose up their right. It was the area where they were building up elevation for the pad that would become foundation for the water tower and windmill. Right now, like the rest of their resort… it looked like shit. But it was progress. And it was going to look worse before it started looking better.

To their left was another cluster of buildings. A third equipment rental area would service the lagoon. Here is where the guests could rent Jet Ski’s. Another nurse’s station would occupy a small building and next to that was another small building for security and a small ‘satellite office’ here that they were calling the ‘South West Office’. Primarily, it was where the tower would be for their technology and it would house the support services for the runway as well as the IT services for the complex.

Eventually, Dean was hoping to build a hanger here. But that would come later. The budget wouldn’t allow for it now. Or for the plane. But Cas was working on it. He hadn’t told Dean yet but he’d begun digging around in the budget and trying to find the money for it somewhere. Cas was certain that Dean would love flying and that it would be a beneficial thing for resort to have a plane. When Cas pictured it, he was remembering the plane they’d been in when they toured the Grand Canyon. It had large windows for viewing everything. As the pilot had skillfully swooped the plane from side to side, it had made for a very dramatic way to view the scenery. He smiled just thinking of that trip and returned his attention to the structures dotting the land at the edge of the lagoon. He snapped a few pictures.

There would be a roped off section of beach here in this area as well. A place where guests could swim and snorkel. This small section of the resort was the only attractive access to the lagoon. The vast majority of the ‘lagoon front’ land was swamp. As of now, their plan was to leave that alone. It would make excellent kayaking for more experienced/avid enthusiasts (like Dean and Cas) and they had no other need for the space.

Dean speed up again as they moved north, to the inside of the marshes that covered the waterfront on their left. On the right was the building that would become the spa. Situated nearby were three very big and very old trees that would soon support three tree houses – set far apart from any other structures. They’d be the most private and the closest to the spa. They would be the grandest tree houses offered… and the most expensive. _Tree house suites?_ -pondered Cas. For these three units only… the spa masseuse would make ‘house calls’.

As the road ahead bent to the East again, completing the “loop” there was a fork in the road. This is where the three story building was going in. Taking the fork in the road here would lead to the staff quarters. Cas was especially proud of this area. They’d given it a lot of thought. Dean had explained to Cas that having happy employees who were satisfied with their jobs was key to running a successful business. Cas was easily brought around to that way of thinking having often disliked his own fathers way of running things at Baxter/Milton.

They’d planned for staff quarters that would entice good help to want to live and work here. They’d also created a row of individual cabin type homes nearby that bordered the second largest lake on the property. These would be for the executives who chose them rather than an apartment. The entire staff complex was nestled between their private lake (no guests would be allowed back here) and the channel. Aside from the staff buildings and the amenities they offered, they staff compound would also include a large fire pit area for parties, a sand volleyball court, a small private beach on the channel and a picnic pavilion. All of this was laid out nicely in a circle and Dean hoped it would give the staff a sense of community.

Cas snapped a lot of pictures here. Construction on the staff apartments was in its initial phases. That’s why Miguel had so many questions for them. The next thing that came into view was their harbor with the yacht anchored far back from the commotion of the marina being built.

For their second loop around the property, Dean sped up and Cas put down his camera. He settled into the seat next to his man and watched silently as the trees flew by. Once they’d crossed the runway, their work for the day began. They hopped out and started in with the chainsaws. They made slow progress, cutting down the trees so that they fell away from the road and using the winch to pull out the stumps.

They were dirty and sweating in no time. When they sat down a few hours later to take their first break, they looked back at their progress. They’d gone a whopping 40 feet. Cas bit his lip to keep from complaining. This sucked. But, it had to be done. And, by doing it themselves, they would save a shit load of money. But still; it was hard not to be whine and complain when thinking about doing this for another mile… or three.

“Do you think it’s too soon to start hiring?” Dean asked him as they rested.

“What are you thinking, Dean?”

“Well, I was wondering if we should start hiring. Guys. The ones who will be the operational staff. You know… the maintenance guys and the caretakers. For now we could use some cheap labor to help us with this kind of stuff. Then as we get closer to opening, they can be spreading the word around here that we’re hiring for service staff like waiters and housekeepers and lifeguards and stuff.”

“Dude. You had me at getting help with this.” Laughed Cas.

“Okay. So what do you say we go down to the village at the south end of the lagoon?”

“Dapat,” Cas specified, “and Caurauria”.

“Yeah,” Dean laughed, “there. And we put up some signs that say we’re hiring and that we will be doing interviews on a certain day. Announce it, you know, like a job fair.”

“Sounds good to me.” Said Cas. “We better get back to the Rosetta Stone,” he laughed. “Oh, and maybe we should talk to Miguel and see if he has any recommendations for us?”

“Couldn’t hurt.” Said Dean, thumping Cas’ thigh with his work gloves. “You ready to get back to it?”

“No.” he said jokingly as he got to his feet and stretched his aching muscles.

 

 

 

Sam watched Jess over the table as they ate the breakfast she’d made. She lived in a huge three story house that had been divided into apartments. The feel of the place was warm, just like her. The morning sun shone in the bay window and lit up the highlights in her hair.

Her electric blue eyes met his brown ones over the table and held. Without speaking or thinking, he stood up from the table and moved toward her. She stood too, as he came around the edge of the table and she put her hands on his chest – having never broken their intense eye contact.

He slid his hands around her waist and then scooped low, grasping her butt cheeks firmly in his palms through her bed clothes and easily lifting her into his arms. She took a deep breath as he carried her through the living room and back to her bed.

While he walked, carrying her, she wrapped her legs around his waist and put her mouth to his neck, trailing open-mouthed kisses and a soft tongue along the edge of his jaw and back toward his ear. She was practically purring when he pushed through her bedroom door.

He didn’t speak to her. It wasn’t necessary. She could see his gratitude for her help all over his face. He knew that she knew everything on his mind. He took three steps to the bed and put a knee on it. She was latched tightly to him and had his ear lobe in her teeth as he leaned in and deposited them both in the middle of her messy bed.

She let out a moan when they hit the mattress together and immediately pushed her hips up against his searching to feel his line of hard dick against her and grind onto it.

Sam pulled himself up to elbows and chuckled to himself as he divested her of her perky little cut-off tee which featured Mickey and Minnie mouse. Her beautiful tanned body came into his view and he stiffened further as he got an eyeful of her incredible breasts.

Jess was one of an elite few who had a small and shapely body… but had still been blessed with big beautiful tits. He loved pulling the flesh of her breasts into his mouth and sucking them. She loved it too, getting extremely worked up when he played with her boobs. She would call out praise to him as he nibbled at them and then beg him to bite her nipples, practically screaming when he did.

Her back arched beautifully as he worked her brown nubs with his lips and teeth, her breath coming heavily now and her crotch wet through her panties already. He could smell the essence of her as she spread her legs for him and rolled her hips against his rock hard cock.

“Damn, woman. I’m gonna have to put clamps on those nipples one day,” he husked to her. He heard her sharp intake of breath at his suggestion and looked to her face to gauge her reaction.

Lust. Pure lust. Her pupils were blown wide and her mouth was parted for him. Her hips couldn’t keep still beneath him. He slid his hand down the outside of her thigh and lifted himself to make room for his hand between her legs. His fingers found their way inside the panties and into the hot wet mess between her legs.

“Please Sam, please” she begged him.

In answer, he began circling his thumb over the spot where her clit should be. He worked circles for a while until the little bud presented itself to him. Then, when he rolled over it again she clenched and cried out for him. The sound went straight to his dick.

She whined with the loss of his hand when he pulled back to get his own boxers off; and he watched as her hand slid down to replace his. She pushed two fingers down into her skimpy little panties and rocked against her own hand as she stroked herself.

His eyes went to her breasts which moved with the rhythm of her body and without realizing he’d done it, his hand went to his cock and began stroking it.

Her eyes locked on his action and watched, greedy, as he jacked himself. His free hand moved to her thigh and began working down her panties. Inch by inch he saw more and more of what her fingers were doing to her clit and his erection grew even larger in his hand. She folded her legs up and worked the panties the rest of the way off, then she made a show of slowly spreading her legs wide for him and stroking herself to get ready for his waiting cock.

As he lowered himself to her, she rose to meet him and when he slid into her warm wet center he felt like he’d finally arrived at a destination he’d been seeking for years. Relief is what he felt.

It was as if _not_ being inside her was unnatural and he hadn’t been right or real until he slid back _in_. He never wanted to separate from her. He thrust himself in and felt her fingers still there between them, teasing herself and he put his mouth on her nipple and sucked hard. She clenched down as she rode the pleasure and he felt that clench all the way down his shaft as he moved in her.

They rode wild together, thrusting hard and hearing the satisfying crack of her wrought iron headboard hitting the wall again and again. What must her neighbors think? Just to be sure they understood he called out her name and listened to her as she responded with more yeses and pleases and “god-DAMN do that AGAIN!”

He pounded into her with all he had and felt her pushing up into him from below – meeting his thrusts and saying dirty things to him. He reached down beneath her as her ass rose off the bed and slid his finger up her ass crack which was wet… her pussy dripping with juices from wanting him.

As they built together, he teased at her puckered hole and she begged him to do it. “Yes, Sam, yes, baby do it, please do it!”

He gave in to her and pressed forcefully in, pulled back and pressed again. He ran his finger through the wet of her crack and repeated. The more he fingered it, the more she screamed out his name. He glanced up and saw that her fingers were pinching her nipples and he had to work not to come just seeing the sight.

As her eyes met his she canted her head forward and wrapped her hands around his neck to bring his left nipple into her mouth. She didn’t lick it daintily like a girl would. She pulled his button into her mouth and sucked it hard… like Max would’ve… like it was her fucking job! She bit down lightly once and when he screamed a yes to her, she bit down harder and he came with a shout of her name.

He flopped down onto elbows and swiveled his hips in her, enjoying the last of his aftershocks and feeling her do the same. They groaned and moaned for a few minutes as the intense pleasure faded and was slowly replaced with a gentle euphoria that would last for quite a while.

They tucked in together in a warm wet mess and fell back asleep for a bit.

Sam wasn’t sure how long they’d been asleep, but he heard her phone go off, and then he felt her trying to untangle from him to answer it. He didn’t make it easy for her.

She giggled as she fought his legs and wrestled her way over to the nightstand to grab her phone. Then slapped his ass sharply for not cooperating. When she answered, she shot him a smirk and then a smile as she put the phone to her ear and headed to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Sam sprawled in her bed, still smiling. The room smelled like sex and Jess.

_Damn I love this woman._

Dean and Cas put the chainsaws back in the jeep when dusk descended and they could no longer see well enough to continue. Cas’ hands were tingling from the vibration of the chainsaw and his muscles were aching already. Waking in the morning would be excruciating.

Already his neck was sore and his back was worse. He gimped around the jeep like an old tired dog and laughed when he had to try twice to get his leg up to the running board.

Dean climbed into the passenger seat. That’s how Cas knew that Dean was just as worn out as Cas. The only time he ever really wanted Cas to drive _anywhere_ was when he was simply too tired to drive himself.

They’d made pretty good progress (if you didn’t pause to think of how far they still had to go) and felt good about the days’ work. When they rounded the bend near the employees apartment building, they could see Miguel and his crew still working.

Cas took the fork and headed toward them. He had to give props to Miguel. The man had been on the job site before the boys had even rolled out of bed this morning. They’d put in a hard days’ work and headed for home, but here was Miguel, _still working_.

Cas pulled the jeep up between the tractor and the bulldozer. The boys stepped out and walked toward the crew. They discussed the possibility of keeping the chain saws for several more days and their contractor was agreeable. He didn’t have need of them in the near future anyway.

They also spoke with him about hiring men to help them now and then transitioning them over to full time resort custodians when it opened. He seemed to think this was a great idea. He said he’d spread the word in his community next time he was back there and bring back any takers with him.

Cas asked him to be sure that any men he brought had their ID’s and stuff with them so that Cas would be able to properly document them as employees and arrange for their paychecks to start. Miguel said their plan to advertise hiring in the south villages was fine but warned them they may encounter problems with the locals.

When they asked why he laughed and told them that they wouldn’t be popular here. Some would resent what they were doing to the land. Some would resent that they were Americans. Some would resent them for being wealthy. Cas wrinkled his nose at this.

“We’re not wealthy, Miguel, we’re in debt up to our eyeballs and sinking fast.” he told the man – with as much good humor as he could muster.

“Well,” Miguel responded, “You’re still rich assholes compared to these people.”

The man didn’t mince words. Respect.

 

 

 

When Jess exited the bathroom, she was wet from a shower and she shooed Sam from the bed so she could strip it. He headed to take his turn in the shower and pondered what to do with the rest of the afternoon. He was feeling much better now that he had a plan for managing the problems at work and wanted to show Jess a good time. When he exited the bathroom with a towel around his waist, she was sitting on a freshly made bed with her laptop in front of her.

“Do you have any plans today?” he asked her.

“Not really, was going to get some groceries. That’s about it.” She grinned slyly and added, “You need to put some clothes on now. If I look at you much longer in that towel we’re gonna have to change the bedsheets again.”

 _Fuck my woman is hot “_ Want to go to the flea market? Poke around a little?” he invited, “We could stop for groceries on the way back here afterwards.”

“Sure. Sounds good. Are you in a hurry to leave?”

“No. Why?”

“Just finishing up something for work. Give me an hour?”

“Sure,” he said kissing her on the top of her head, “I’ll hold down your couch for ya.”

He went to the living room and popped on the TV, looking for a game to watch. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the breakfast mess in the kitchen and turned up the TV louder, so he could hear the game as he worked. Then he set about putting her kitchen back in order.

Old Sam? Definitely not a dish doer.

New Sam? New and well committed, properly laid, happy as a commercial-for-engagement rings, Sam? Hell yeah. Dish _doer_. What-ever-she-needs _doer_.

 

 

 

A few days later, Dean and Cas were awakened by relentless honking. Annoying, yes. But this was Miguel’s way of signaling that they were needed on shore. They’d gotten used to it long ago. The man seemed to dislike using the cell phone that was forever buried under papers in his truck cab.

Dean moved up the stairs to the captain’s chair and gave one honk of the boats horn to acknowledge the man. Then he went back down to get dressed. Cas was stretching and complaining about how sore he was. All Dean could think was – _Cas is getting really buff._

They threw on clothes, climbed into the raft and headed for shore. As they crossed the small stretch of water between the yacht and the sandy beach, they passed the halfway constructed marina.

There were three docks. The largest would be for supply ships to unload from, the second largest was for the yacht and the small one would be for miscellaneous use.

Part of the logic of them changing their minds and paying a small fortune to have the dredging contractor work over their harbor was to cut the long term costs of processing shipments into the resort. But mostly it was so that when container ships came in… they wouldn’t be pulling up alongside the Jet Ski rental hut.

The ugly shipping boats would dock where only the staff quarters had a view to it. The guests would never see those ships at all except for watching them cut across the water to the channel over the open water. But the cost of that was, they had to dredge the channel and harbor to make it deep enough.

When the boys reached the beach, they climbed out of the raft and into the cab of a jeep, heading for the building site of the staff apartments where they’d find Miguel. When they arrived, he greeted them warmly and introduced him to three people.

“This is Andre. He’s the brother of Alejandro who works on my crew. He’s looking for work so I brought him to meet you.”

Dean reached in and shook Andre’s hand, “Welcome! We’re glad to have your help.” He tilted his head, “And this is my partner Cas. You’ll be working with the two of us today clearing a road.”

“And this,” said Miguel, “Is Sunni and Roberto. They are married and have been friends of mine for many years. Sunni is a very good cook but they are both tired of trying to make a profit at their restaurant in town and has come seeking employment.” Then he added carefully, “they have many friends in town so they will be sad to leave it.”

Dean read this as Miguel’s way of letting him know that these were influential people in town. “It’s a pleasure to meet you both,” said Cas warmly, “Dean can take you around for a quick tour of the resort,” he glanced at Dean hoping to see a nod of understanding, “I have a few more things I’d like to go over with Miguel before he gets his crew going this morning.”

Dean gave him the nod and took the three with him in the Jeep, leaving Cas to consult with Miguel. He put an arm on the man’s shoulder and asked for five minutes in private.  He nodded and turned to his crew, shouting instructions in Spanish. They soon dispersed to get started and Miguel turned his attention to Cas.

“We mostly needed men to help with the clearing. I’m happy that Sunni is here, but I don’t want to give her a chainsaw and expect her to work with us. I also don’t want to offend her by assuming that she can’t or won’t do the work. What job would you recommend me giving her and how should I say it to her to avoid offense?”

“Ah,” said Miguel, “No problems. They are very good people, work hard. You will like them. Sunni will know how to make herself useful. As you are handing out the chainsaws, make sure that you give one to her husband but not to her. Hand each worker a pair of gloves including her. Give her and at least one other man a machete instead of a chainsaw.” He grinned at Cas, “Watch her and you’ll see. Make sure to change around on breaks so that you and your partner each take a turn with the machete too. All will be well.”

Cass thought about it and chuckled to himself.   _A break from the chain saw? Twist my arm._

When the Jeep came back around the bend, Cas jumped into the back seat and stood with his arm on the roll bar as they sped back up and headed around the loop again to cross the runway and pick up where they’d left off clearing the road to the villages.

Over the last few days Dean and Cas had managed to clear several hundred feet. They climbed down from the jeep and Cas did exactly as Miguel had instructed when passing out gloves, machete and chainsaws. The men needed no guidance. In fact, they showed the boys a few tricks to make the process move faster. Cas watched Sunni for less than five minutes and saw what Miguel meant.

This wasn’t her first rodeo. She had done this before. She used her machete like an expert and she moved just ahead of the men with chainsaws, clearing the brush and saplings so that they could focus on just taking down trees. It nearly doubled the speed with which they were cutting through the jungle. When she needed to move a heavy branch or trunk, she didn’t ask for help. She expertly unrolled her turban and whipped it around the branch so she could drag it out of the way.

Whenever she caught Cas looking at her she smiled but quickly averted her eyes.

It didn’t take long for them to settle into a rhythm. When they sat down in the shade for a mid-morning break, Cas flopped down all sweaty and out of breath, leaving Dean to distribute water bottles and power bars to everyone.

 Too soon they returned to working and Cas took Miguels advice, taking the chainsaw from Dean and handing him a machete. It was a small thing, but it did a lot. It demonstrated to the crew that both their bosses would use all the same tools and do all the same work. It showed Sunni that she was not the only one clearing brush. And, as the day carried on, Cas saw that each man relished taking his turn with a machete to rest hands from the constant vibration of the saws.

It was a good day. They got a great deal done. The boys were thrilled. When they headed in for the night, they stopped at Miguel’s site and asked what the arrangements were for their crew tomorrow. He said that the new-comers would be sleeping at his ‘camp’ which was essentially a semi-trailer with water and power but the men slept outside under the stars. The boys had seen through the binoculars. Cas asked Miguel if it was appropriate to offer special accommodations to Sunni because she was a woman. He said no.

So, instead, they offered the crews to join them at the yacht for a barbeque. Miguel turned to his men and asked them in Spanish if they wanted the gringos to cook for them tonight. Some cheered and some laughed. But all came. It was their first party on the yacht.

They tossed inner tubes into the water and everyone stripped down and enjoyed floating around and drinking beers in the cool water while Cas blasted Javier Vasquez from the sound system. It was Cas’ new favorite music. Dean kind of liked it too. They couldn’t understand most of the words as it was local music, produced in Honduras. But it had a very smooth and sexy Latino vibe that lent itself to the sexier and more exotic Central American dances.

Their guests seemed to like it and they continued to congregate on the deck, swimming platform or in the water while Dean grilled burgers and sausages. Cas busied himself with keeping everyone in beer and setting up the rest of the food. In addition to the burgers they put out potato chips and cut into a giant watermelon.

Once the food was cooked and people were happily eating on their laps, the boys were able to relax a bit too. The water on the port side of the boat was at least ten feet deep and Miguel was daring Dean to jump in from the deck, rather than going down to the swim platform.

“Don’t forget how far away the hospital is!” teased Cas, “We have no Vicodin on board!”

Dean flashed a winning smile and vaulted into the water to resounding cheers. Cas, seeing Dean surface unharmed and smiling, followed his lead. Soon others were following them over. They played like children and had a wonderful time.

As the last of the light left the horizon, Dean was shuttling the crews back over to the sandy beach. When they’d said their good-nights, Miguel loaded up his men and then looked back at Dean and tipped his hat. That’s how Dean knew he’d done well.

It took him and Cas well over an hour to clean up all the mess. They settled into bed that night with a solid buzz; not just from the beers but from the feeling of having bridged the gap a bit between themselves and the people working for them - and having enjoyed it immensely.

The next morning they were up with the sun again. And the morning after that. It was like lather, rinse, repeat.

Every day… cut trees, eat, sleep, repeat.

A few days later, they had a meeting with a representative from the company that would be building the base for their windmill and water tower. He was coming to inspect their progress. Just as he had the time before, he came in on a chopper and landed on the runway.

Their crew of three went out to cut trees without them and they met their inspector as he landed. He’d brought another with him and the four of them headed over to the giant pile of sand, silt and dirt that was growing larger each day in the center of their resort.

It took several hours, but before the inspectors left, they gave the boys good news. They’d hit the target elevation. Some additional grating would be needed to prep the sight, but in a few short weeks, they’d be pouring the pad for the magical instruments that would bring power and running water to their paradise.

Before heading out in the second jeep to join the road clearing crew, Dean and Cas stopped to tell Miguel that that he had the go-ahead to start laying the plumbing infrastructure at his convenience. (They hadn’t wanted to waste any time or money on that part until they were certain the windmill and water tower could actually be built.)

The resort was really coming along. The sounds of heavy machinery operating were constant. The dredging ships moving around and the trucks they were filling kept up a constant supply of noise and chaos from sun up til sun down. The sounds of the crane and the crew working on the apartment building and the subcontractors framing the other buildings were always in the background… no matter where you were on the property you could hear men shouting and tools running.

Progress was nice. But sometimes the boys missed the quiet and solitude of being the only voices for miles. Especially when they wanted to get naked and shag on the sundeck in the middle of a hot afternoon or scream each other’s names out loudly when they came knowing only the animals would hear them.

Or like now, for instance, when they snuck back to the yacht for a little bit of ‘afternoon delight’ before heading out to join their crew.

They had to actually go inside and shut the door before taking off clothes. Dean thought about that for a moment. He didn’t realize how free they’d really been here until now. Now that it seemed laborious to actually have to get behind a closed door before they stripped down and fucked. He grinned thinking back to the first time they’d done it in the jungle.

They’d only been here a few days. They hadn’t done much hiking yet so they never knew what they were in for when they set out. They’d followed the edge of the lagoon side marsh for quite a ways when they stumbled upon a very unusual tree.

They would later come to find out that it’s called a Banyon Tree. But it had puzzled them. Its truck was huge and knarly and its branches spread impossibly wide around it. What made it unique, were hundreds of vines (at least they looked like vines) hanging from the tree, straight down and touching the ground. Each vine was made of wood and had bark over it and each was anchored to the ground. It was as if the great tree had decided to anchor itself against a hurricane. There were no other trees like it.

Dean and Cas had come back to it several times now so there was a well-worn path and they planned to promote that trail as a hike for guests with the tree as a highlight.

But that first visit? Alone in the jungle?

Dean had stepped between the vertical branches moving toward the huge trunk in the center. It was impossible to walk a straight line, you had to continually step around another chute. Some of them didn’t reach the ground yet so it was obvious that they were growing down from the tree and digging themselves into the soil as opposed to growing up from the ground and wrapping around the tree.

As the boys had snaked through the maze of vertical branches, dipping their shoulders to step around them, a monkey had crashed through the tree above. It had startled them to a shout. They laughed, having not realized how quiet and tense the atmosphere had gotten as they watched each other exploring this tree that was a freak of nature to them.

As Cas’ heart had pounded in his ribcage from the startle, he’d looked at Dean and grown lustful. He’d pulled off his shirt.

Dean had looked across the maze of vines and seen Cas bare chested, newly tanned and sweating, moving through the maze to get closer to him. He’d tugged off his shirt too.

As they neared each other, their eyes locked and both were looking at the other when the sound of zippers coming down had filled the still air of the jungle around them.

Something heavy was moving in the tree above them. Something bigger than your average squirrel. Cas didn’t look up to see if he could catch a glimpse of a monkey. His eyes stayed locked on Dean as his belt and cargo shorts clunked to the ground. He didn’t breathe again until he’d heard Dean’s shorts hit the ground too. They stepped out them, still in boots and still looking only at each other. They’d moved closer sliding between the rough bark of the banyan tree branches naked and wanting to do bad things to each other.

The layer of dead leaves on the ground crunched under their boots as they stepped closer. Dean had stopped and let Cas take the last step to meet him. The man had reached out two hands and taken Deans in his. He lifted them, up high and gripped them to neighboring vines in a silent command to hold on tight. Still no one had spoken. But the animals in the area had grown quieter. Perhaps they smelled something in the air. Maybe they were watching to see what these two foreign creatures would do.

Cas had dropped to knees and put his strong hands on Deans sweaty thighs. He’d taken Dean into his mouth like it was the first time he’d ever tasted one before. Like it was candy. He’d latched on with a fierce force that rippled through his muscles and tensed his entire body.

Dean had bent his head forward to watch the top of Cas’ head as he’d greedily thrust his mouth forward onto Deans throbbing member. Watching it happen made Deans stomach curl. Something moved above them. One of the vines Dean was holding dipped under the weight of whatever lingered above. His dick pulsed, leapt in Cas’ mouth at the tingle of wild excitement that had shivered up his spine.

Cas had said the jungle made him wild. Dean could feel it too. It was primal. He tipped his head back and let his grip on the vines support his body weight since his knees were getting weak.

Cas was like an animal, urgent and panting. Dean was hanging on tight as he felt his man sucking his pleasure from him, pulling tingles from every part of his body and sucking them straight to his groin.

He felt his balls tighten and he cried out – the first vocalization either man had made under this tree. He opened his eyes. The world was inverted because his head was hanging backwards. His eyes saw braches swaying above him and the sunlight trickling down between the upper branches. He caught movement but it was too fast to track and he couldn’t actually see what was darting through the higher branches. But leaves fluttered to the ground around them like a soft snowfall.

Cas was choking himself on Deans thick dick which throbbed for release as hit the back of his man’s throat again and again.

Dean’s feet were anchored in the soft dirt and his arms were still above his head, gripped tightly where Cas had placed them. He hung by those arms now, knees bent slightly and back arched as Cas sucked his dick with such power that he felt it in his toes. When he came, he cried out the loudest he ever had. Birds had flown up from the trees around them – startled. The beat of their wings was noise enough to cover his panting as he came back to himself.

He’d dropped to his knees on the ground under that tree and locked his mouth over Cas’ - plunged his tongue into him and scraped fingernails down his sweaty back, loving the jungle. Loving his man. Loving the life they were living here.

Now, as he watched that same man undress in their small bedroom cabin, he was noticing the way that man’s body had changed in the months they’d been here.

Cas had always been a fine specimen. His body was toned and firm and well put together. But the months of constant hiking and swimming (so much of it done naked) had bulked him up a lot. He was probably fifteen pounds heavier now than he’d been when they met. Now he was also tan, toned and vibrant. More alive somehow. He looked like God had intended all men to look.

And Dean stepped toward him now, reaching, wanting to touch. Cas set those ice blue eyes on him and tipped his head back; an invitation.

Dean accepted.

 

 

 

 

Sam walked into his office and sat down in his chair. He had a pounding headache and he was tense from head to toe. In his hands were the numbers he’d gotten from the business department. They had a little over nine months for an investment to pay off. If it did… then great. The business would be stronger and the borrowed money they’d been using to shore up the shortages financially would easily be repaid.

But if they didn’t grow their client base to a certain projected dollar amount by the ‘PONR’ date then layoffs would be the least of their worries. PONR stood for ‘point of no return’. After that date, they would be officially out of available credit AND officially unable to make the following months budget. It would be a disaster.

Sam reminded himself of his father’s way. Do or die. And make it look smooth.

He stood and put his papers in the briefcase. He touched his finger to the picture of him and Dean on his desk. They may not be speaking, but Dean would be with him in this meeting whether his brother knew it or not.

He took the elevator up to the executive floor and walked confidently into the meeting. They moved to ‘old business’ on the agenda. There were a few little things for Spencer to go over and then all eyes turned to Sam.

He stood. “Gentlemen… I have a proposal for you.” He glanced around the table and saw nods. He had their attention. “My father was a great man. You all know this. He was strong and proud and he had a certain way of doing things. I didn’t appreciate that when he was with us. But now, in his absence, I seek to continue as he would if he were here.”

Sam paused and looked around the table again, “I didn’t get off to the best start, as you are all well aware. I was a coward. At the faintest sign of trouble, I turned on my own brother and fed him to the wolves. My father would never have done what we did. He wouldn’t have allowed it.”

“He would’ve stood up for his son, for any of us in that same position, and he would’ve told Milton to fuck off.” This roused a cautious laugh from the group. “Then, he would’ve retreated to his office and shit his pants where no one could see how scared he really was.” This earned him a few more chuckles and a firm nod from Spencer.

“My dad would’ve locked himself in that office with a bottle of Bourbon and not come out until he had a brilliant idea that would turn the tide for his company. None of us would ever know how scared he’d really been or how difficult his decisions had been. He’d be smooth about it and we’d never know the difference. But since he’s gone now… it falls to us to do that. We have to be strong. We have to put our money where our mouth is and then say something brilliant.”

 _Here goes nothing “_ I will not vote yes today for any further layoffs. My vote is to preserve any and all remaining staff. And I have a plan to grow our business enough over the next six months to not only secure their future here, but to grow our annual revenue by 18%.”

He watched the grey haired men in the room exchanged glances and leaned forward to hear what Sam was going to propose. All his research had paid off. He had solid numbers to give them and credible sources to back them up.

“You guys didn’t know I’d already gotten past the ‘shit my pants phase’ did you?” he was joking. It went over well. They all laughed. It was very John. Sam’s spirit lifted.

“A friend of ours at Legal Aid has cherry picked two wonderful cases for us to handle pro-bono. Both will make news. Especially with a little help from our in house PR team, which is being formed as part of my proposal. According to comparisons with other area firms, we can expect an increase in client base of six percent over the six months following the mark of 18 minutes of coverage on local news channels.” Sam smiled at the group, “We’re gonna get on the news, boys!”

Sam allowed the quiet whispers between members for a moment, trying to hear if there was approval or dissent so far. He couldn’t gage it, so he cut it off.

“Gentlemen, this is the first step. We’ll bring in the pro-bono clients and give the cases to the attorneys that we feel will be the most appealing to a mass audience on television. I already have one in mind (he was thinking of Susan – the sex bomb in the Roger Rabbit dress who was looking to carve out a name for herself at the firm).

Once we’ve made news, we should start seeing a regular uptick in new client inquiries. Statistically speaking, we retain about 1.5 percent of those. The influx of new clients will immediately bolster our revenue since they pay retainers up front.

Then, the real work begins.” Sam was using this transition to assume acceptance of his proposal and move forward. “The numbers from the business department indicate that we have nine months to hit our target increases. My plan aims to do it in six.” He took a deep breath.

“There are some other changes we’re going to need to make to insure success. For starters, we need to assemble the aforementioned PR team. Next… we need to hire a full time individual who will be accountable for client services.

Research shows that following this model generates a ‘per attorney’ profit increase of 41.2%. That is HUGE gentlemen. You guys know that I hate to admit this, but when Dean was here, he was filling this position for us. We never called him the director of client services. But let’s face it. That’s just a glorified title for our designated schmoozer. And that’s exactly what Dean was…

He had everybody’s number and he knew how to keep them happy. And let’s face it, starting with the departure of Dorothy Holmes and continuing in a shocking trend all the way through Alice Gangly leaving us last week… we’ve lost a hell of a lot of revenue without my brother kissing everyone’s ass for us.” He chuckled and enjoyed hearing the rest of the room chuckle too.

“The financial return on our investment dollars is ten times greater when retaining a current client than when attracting a new one. So, the smart money says that should be our focus. And it will be - once we hire Dean’s replacement. I don’t give a shit if we have a special projects coordinator or a client services supervisor… I don’t care what we call the schmoozer. But we need one. The sooner the better.”

Sam opened his briefcase and pulled out the paperwork. He moved around the table dropping a stapled stack at each members place. “Please draw your attention to the packets in front of you. You’ll notice how nicely collated and stapled they are… you would almost think I have a secretary, right?”

Another chorus of laughter from the group. Sam was flying.

“Within this packet that most of you will never take the time to read, is the research that I’ve put together on this. It includes the proposed budget, timeframe and changes. If you guys want to give me another week, you can take it home and study it. Then we’ll reconvene for next week’s meeting and you’ll all vote yes to my proposal.

Or, you can save yourself a few hours of reading and vote yes now. Because I’m telling you, with my beloved father’s legacy at stake… this is the best fucking plan we’ve got. And it’s going to work.”

Sam stood for a moment, looking around the table. “Any questions?”

Applause rang out. The board members stood, smiled, clapped and cheered. Sam had a split second to wonder if he’d dreamt this. But then realized he wouldn’t have a pounding pulse if her were dreaming. He let himself smile.

One hand went up. “Spencer?”

The man was actually looking through the packet he’d been given. Holy shit. “Sam, you took the numbers for profitability increases from the Orange County Attorneys Journal?”

“Yes.”

“I read that article. I just didn’t make the connection to Dean.”

Sam’s smile faded, “I know. It’s like they say, you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone. Clearly he was more than we knew he was.” Sam looked Spencer directly in the eye, “I was a fool. I was just young and stupid and jealous and angry. Dean should still be with us. We’d be better for it.”

There was a quiet whisper of ascent from the room and Sam knew it was time to sit down. “On to new business?” he asked.


	25. Drink This... You're Gonna Need It

Dean was sweating in the hot sun. He pulled his shirt off as he loaded the last few things into the jeep. He and Cas were getting ready to head over to the villages on the Southern rim of the Lagoon and put up signs advertising that they’d be back in town next week to host an event for anyone interested in coming to work at the resort.

Cas had sought Sunni’s assistance in making the signs which he’d been prepared to simply staple to trees or telephone poles in the villages. The signs were now loaded in the back of the jeep. Dean had loaded some stakes and hammers too, just in case they couldn’t find anywhere appropriate to hang the signs. Worst case… they’d hang the signs on the stakes and drive them into the mud by the side of the road.

Dean paused to catch his breath and looked back toward Cas who was speaking with Miguel. They appeared deep in conversation so he walked over, bringing each of them a bottle of cold water.

Both men nodded a thanks to him and drank intermittently while they spoke. After a few moments, Dean realized they were talking about Sunni. She was out with her husband and Andre right now clearing the road. From what Dean could gather of their conversation, Cas was getting advice from Miguel about how to go about speaking to the locals when they reached their destination.

Miguel was encouraging Cas to take Sunni, Roberto and Andre with them. He seemed certain that they’d encounter some resistance and it would be a benefit for their party to have more than just two members. He also seemed to think that having some locals along would help for smoother communication – even though Sunni, Roberto and Andre were from a town almost fifty miles in the opposite direction and knew no one.

Cas was not one to disregard logical advice and thanked Miguel for his concern. Dean then watched Cas ask Miguel a very simple question.

“Why does everyone seem predisposed to hating us?” it was a question that was well targeted. Miguel was nothing if not honest.

“When have Americans done right by anyone?” he answered quietly. “They may be nice at first. But they always screw the little guy in the end.”

Dean knew the man was right. There was no arguing it. Especially when you considered what country they were in… and what kind of Americans were most commonly doing business here. It saddened him a little. But when he looked at Cas, his heart dropped.

Cas was wearing full on puppy dog eyes. Kicked puppy eyes. How could Miguel bear it? Dean put and arm around Cas and turned him away from Miguel and walked Cas to the jeep. “That aint us.” He said loudly over his shoulder. “Man, that aint us!”

As they climbed in he did his best to cheer the poor guy. “He’s right Cas. The people that do business here… they’re usually bad guys. They’re coke dealers and gun runners and the worst examples of what it is to be American. We’ll just have to prove to them that we’re not like the others they’ve met… that we’re here because we love their country and want to build something beautiful in it.”

Cas seemed encouraged. “You’re right Dean. We’ll earn their trust. And when we have – we’ll remember that we promised ourselves we’d never break it.”

Dean nodded and pulled the jeep out onto the loop. “It’s funny,” said Cas softly, “Of all the things that should’ve made me want to run home with my tail between my legs… that was the first thing that really had me wanting to throw in the towel and leave.”

Dean nodded. He couldn’t put his finger on why it was distressing to know that the locals didn’t want them here. But it really was. “We’ve had a lot of disappointments Cas. When the first bank pulled out before closing… when they first told us we couldn’t build a windmill here… when the first estimate for the dredging came in… hell man, you even survived that scorpion in your back pack!” laughed Dean. “We’ve survived all of those things and we’re still fuckin’ here, right?”

Cas nodded. Dean added, “This isn’t the last time we’re gonna feel like we’ve been kicked in the balls.”

“I need stronger balls.” Sighed Cas, leaning his head back on the seat.

Dean leaned in and cupped his man’s package, “No you don’t. You’re packin’ Cas.” He winked at Cas and turned on some cheerful music. By the time they pulled up behind their small road crew, Cas appeared mostly back to normal. He jumped out of the jeep and offered a bottle of water to Sunni and gestured her to the front seat of the jeep. He tossed a bottle to Roberto and Andre too and they climbed in back with Cas. Andre didn’t speak a lick of English so when they were in his company, they tried to speak only in Spanish. It was good practice.

They had abandoned the other jeep and the tools by the side of the ‘road’ and driven together, with the signs resting on their knees in the back seat. The ride was rough and they did end up needing the winch to get across that same gully. Strong argument for investing in a bridge there, thought Dean.

When they arrived in the first village, Cas got quiet. Dean could see why. The places that constituted houses here… it was one thing to have the realtor hand them a print out of median incomes in the area and tell them the locals were poor. It was another to actually see…

Miguel had been right. They were rich assholes compared to these people. Dean checked the rear-view mirror and met eyes with Cas. They were thinking the same thing… he could tell.

They drove the length of the village once to see it all and then doubled back. As they were coming back through, kids poured out into the street to greet them, bright eyed and curious. They pulled over and began attaching the signs to stakes and smiling warmly at the few locals they saw – mostly lingering in doorways watching them.

Andre and Roberto began stapling the signs to stakes and pounding them into the ground. They signaled to Dean that they were going to walk down the road a piece and set the next two. Sunni stayed with Dean and Cas.

Dean grabbed the bags from the car and handed Sunni all the power bars they had on them – over a dozen and gestured for her to hand them out to the kids. She smiled and nodded, taking the bars from them and offering them to the children.

“Cas, when we come back next week… it needs to be bags of real candy.”

“And balls… frisbee’s… none of these kids have any toys, Dean. There should be toys in their yards.”

Dean hadn’t realized that Sunni was even listening. But she chimed in… for the first time since they’d met her. “They don’t want your charity,” she said. “They are fishers and farmers and they are proud to be able to feed their children. Around here – that is success.” She gave Cas a warm smiled and added, “If you want to help them, don’t walk into town and give a ball to each child. It will only make their parents hate you more. Give them chances to earn the money to buy a ball for their child. Buy their bananas and fish. Shop their little market. It will help them more that way. And, it will win you their respect.”

The boys nodded. It made sense.

Just then, a roar went up from the children who flocked past them. Dean saw a dirty ball roll by and then entire gaggle was after it. He chuckled watching them, and then suddenly Cas was in the middle of the action. 

Dean watched utter chaos for a moment and then started to see what was happening. He recognized the game forming in front of him. The kids (and Cas) were in the road playing a pick-up game of soccer. The kids were fast and determined and clearly surprised that this white man could actually play. They cheered over his fancy footwork and vied for his attention.

Dean had to admire the man’s spirit. It was so easy to love Cas.

Sunni turned her eyes on Dean and said softly, “Be careful who you let see you, when you smile at him like that.”

He gaped at her.

“I’m only trying to help you. When you are here… don’t let them see.” He nodded, understanding. Just then Roberto and Andre returned. They grinned and looked at Dean… clearly hoping to be allowed to join the game. He nodded to them and they jumped into the chaos.

Dean gave Sunni a smile. She was like Miguel in a way – harsh, brutal with the honesty. But he appreciated knowing he could count on her for the truth – even if she wasn’t used to sugar-coating the ugly things the way Americans tended to do.

“Where is their market?” he asked her, “Can we go there now? We’re out of plantains.”

She yelled to a woman lingering in a doorway, and the woman yelled back – gesturing down the street. Sunni tipped her head in an invitation for Dean to walk with her.

Market was a strong word. It was really just a few houses on the main road where the owners had things to sell. If weren’t for Sunni, he wouldn’t have understood how it worked. He followed her to a house which had a makeshift arbor out front. Bunches of bananas were hanging from it and goats roamed freely in her front yard.

“She has goats and bananas for sale. I’m assuming just the bananas for today?”

“Yes,” Dean said with a chuckle. He could barely contain a full on laughing fit as he imagined walking back to the jeep and telling Cas he’d bought a goat.

“How many bunches?”

“Um… what do you recommend?”

“Buy what you’ll use, then maybe a few bunches for Miguel and his crew if you want.”

Dean agreed and Sunni did the talking. She told Dean how much and he handed it over. She allowed the woman time to go get a bag and make change. Dean resisted the urge to tell her to keep the change. He trusted Sunni now and followed her lead. He did the same at the remaining houses, just letting Sunni do the work and carrying the bags.

By the time they returned to the jeep, they were both carrying bags. They dropped their purchases in the back of the jeep and turned to watch the soccer game with its growing audience.

Dean found it impossible to know which kid was on what team. So he watched the men. Clearly it was Roberto and Andre versus Cas. He clapped and cheered as appropriate and when the men began to look winded, he called them back. The kids whined sadly at the loss of their new playmates. The adults who had gathered to watch, laugh and cheer were dispersing now, as they all piled back into the jeep.

“Sunni,” said Dean, “Tell me honestly how that went.”

She responded by saying, “Playing football helped a lot.” Dean looked at Cas with a question in his eyes,

“She means soccer,” Cas assured him.

“I meant football” she said sharply.

“They hate when we call football soccer,” said Cas flatly to Dean, who seemed to find the exchange amusing.

They had another village to visit which looked almost the same as the first. They hit the market in that town too and put up their signs. As they passed through, Dean pointed to a unique fence. “Look, Cas, that fence is made with trees.”

“That’s Medero Negro. Madreado tree,” Sunni told them, “you can chop a branch from a Madreado tree and put it in the ground and it will grow another tree. That’s how that fence was made.”

“Wont the fence twist as the trees grow?”

“No,” she told them, “It only grows from the top. Below the cut line will never grow, so the fence will always stay like that. It’s better than a fence post – termites eat the fence posts but usually leave the living trees alone.”

“That’s genius!”

She favored him with a smile.

By the time they got back to the other jeep it was getting too dark to run chainsaws, so they called it a night.

Later, as they laid under the stars on the sundeck, Dean and Cas talked about their experiences in the villages. Neither man had given much thought to the villages until now, aside from the thought of recruiting labor. But now, there was more too it.

“Just think how different things would have been if we hadn’t had our crew with us when we went.” Said Cas.

“It would’ve gone fine… once you started showing off your mad soccer skills we were set!” Dean teased him. “I bet next time we go there – those kids will all be wearing jerseys with your name on them!”

“I’m serious,” insisted Cas, “Sunni was right. Our gut instincts on how to treat these people were way off. I’m glad she spoke up when she did.”

Dean hoisted up on one elbow to face Cas. “Yeah, me too. We’ll bring them all with us when go back next week. Hopefully it goes well.”

“It’s not just about getting them to like us and accept what we’re doing here anymore. Not to me. It’s not even about recruiting staff. I want to help them, Dean.”

“Me too Cas. And we will. I think we just need to ask ourselves what we’re offering these people. The ones that don’t want to come work for us. How are their lives better because we’re here?”

“Well,” Cas answered thoughtfully, “I think we should start slow. Instead of trying to ride into town and change their lives overnight, we should do like Sunni said. You know, just buy from them. I bet over time, we’ll start seeing more and more ways we can help. If we’re going to build real trust… I think that’s the way we need to do it.”

“You know what else?” Dean prompted, “I’ve been thinking about that fence made of trees. I’d like to know how much of that wood we can buy. Maybe we could offer the locals to buy truckloads of pre-cut branches.”

“You thinking of that for a fence along the runway?”

“No, actually, but that’s another great idea.”

“What were you thinking then?”

“Electricity. Remember we talked about running it through the trees for the tree houses but it couldn’t be done. The tree branches would always be stretching the wires every time the wind blows.”

“I remember. I don’t see how this changes anything?”

“We could set the branches in like telephone poles and run the electric lines along it. Then trees will continue to grow up from there, but the power lines wouldn’t move because nothing grows below the cut line.” Dean finished.

“I see where you’re going with that,” confirmed Cas, “Instead of digging trenches from one end of the resort to the other run the electric cables underground, we’d probably save a shit ton of money by just stringing on poles. But since the poles are made of trees… it will blend right into the jungle and people won’t even see it” I like it!

“Never mind,” Dean said, flopping down on his back, “it was stupid.”

“No, I like it… we should consider it.”

“No really, it won’t save us anything. We still have to trench for the plumbing. The tree thing is a cool idea but it will end up being cheaper to just do the electric right along with the plumbing.”

“Oh yeah. Bummer,” Cas huffed, “I thought you were on to a million dollar idea there for minute… “

“That makes two of us man, but we can still use that idea for fences around the resort. Especially the runway. It’ll look more unique than chain link fence anyway.”

 “This day took a lot out of me Dean.”

“I know. Me too. Do you want to go to bed?”

“I want you to make love to me.” He said quietly.

Dean rolled back onto his side and pulled Cas close, pressing their lips together.  “I’m always making love to you Cas,” he said softly, “Every. Single. Time.”

 

 

 

Sam left for the day after the board meeting. He went straight to Jess’ office because he couldn’t wait to tell her how well the meeting had gone.

“I don’t know if I can explain it,” he told her, “but it felt good on so many different levels. For starters, I feel like a real member of the board now because I actually addressed the group and swayed their opinion on something. But also… peoples jobs were saved because of what we did today, Jess. And on top of that… I finally feel like my dad would’ve been proud of me. If he had seen that meeting… he would’ve been.”

“I’m so glad it went well for you,” she told him as she locked up her desk and moved toward the door with him, “And I know just what to do to celebrate,” she told him.

Just then his phone chirped in his hand. He glanced at it and saw that it was his mom. He indicated to Jess that he wanted to take the call and she nodded as she stepped away to give him some privacy.

“Hi Mom,”

“Hi Sweetheart.”

“How are you?” he asked her.

She hesitated and then he heard her sob a little, “Mom? Are you alright?”

“Yes. I’m wonderful,” she said, clearly holding back tears, “I just had a call from Norman Spencer. He told me that at the board meeting today… he caught a glimpse of John Winchester.” She let out a rough sigh and cleared her throat. “I can only assume he meant you?”

Sam’s mouth turned up in a tense smile and his heart ached with sweet sadness at her words. “If he meant me, then I’m honored.” Said Sam reverently, “I honestly did my best today and I feel like I did it how dad would’ve wanted me to do it.”

“And how is that?” she asked him warmly.

“Smart, careful…,” said Sam, “and smooth.”

She laughed loudly into the phone, clearly delighted. “I love you sweetie, keep up the good work.”

“I love you too mom.” He said softly before they said good-bye.

He looked over at Jess with wet eyes and her stare held all the weight of things she wanted to say but didn’t.

She could see that anything she said out loud right now would break him to tears, and her mission was to help him be strong. He could actually feel the support and strength that she offered him without a word or even a touch.

He nodded to her and they began walking to her car, shoulder to shoulder. By the time she was unlocking her door – he was composed enough to speak. And smile a little.

“So, where are we going to celebrate?” he asked her.

“My place.”

 

 

 

The days were starting to seem shorter now. There was more to do between sun-up and sun-down than could possibly be done. Dean and Cas had to spend more and more time apart now, managing their work in a ‘divide and conquer’ mentality. They found themselves using their phones as their primary contact, calling each other a half dozen times a day to make decisions on the fly as they scooted around the property in their jeeps.

They were encountering more and more problems and dealing with them the best they could.

Their charity in building a bridge on land they didn’t own wasn’t as well received as they’d anticipated. They’d actually been fined for that. But, at least they could drive to the villages now, on a decent road and not have to winch themselves out of the mud every time.

Their reception in the villages still felt a bit forced and unfriendly to the boys, but according to Sunni, it was as good as they could have hoped for it to be. She and her husband Roberto had become constant companions for the boys whenever they mixed with the locals. And after a nerve racking incident with an inspector, they were now accompanying the boys whenever they met with any government officials as well.

Dean had gotten in the habit of paying off just about everyone they needed something from. But as he found out the hard way… not everyone was a taker. Roberto was excellent to have around in these cases. He’d been involved enough in the local government administration in his town to have a pretty good idea of who would be takers and who would not. The man had good instincts for people.

Now, with the increasing number of site visits from government inspectors and the in-house inspectors of the companies they were contracting, it was becoming a relentless progression of hand-shake and kiss-ass that Cas detested.

Dean didn’t like it either, but he was better at it. So he, Sunni and Roberto handled as many as possible without Cas. That left Cas more time for laying out the business components and getting them staffed.

Dean was planning to be their business manager, as Cas had initially suggested, but it had soon become obvious to both men that simply being owners was going to eat up their work week. There would be no time for duality in their roles with a business this large. Someone would have to be hired. And they had to be good.

Cas was focused on hiring the skeleton of the business model first and filling in the lower positions later with input from his top people.

Cas told Dean that he’d been right about the apartments. Even though they weren’t finished yet, the well outfitted staff apartments and individual cottages on the property as well as the amenities of the community they’d built there were quite a draw.

Cas had narrowed down his choices for most of the executive level jobs to a few candidates and once their background checks were completed, he intended to do a third round of interviews with Dean, Sunni and Roberto present for input.

Considering how long it had taken to prep the site and build the base, the actual construction of the windmill had been lightning fast. Their ships had shown up on schedule, their equipment was set up without delay and in a few short days, it was done.

Dean and Cas had thrown ‘yacht parties’ a few times for the work crews when key stages were hit. They made an effort to have better food now that the parties were planned. And, they day that the windmill spun for the first time… they’d made sure that every head on the property was standing at its base looking up. They’d popped corks from champagne bottles to resounding cheers and then moved the party to the water around the yacht where they partied late into the night.

The process for completing construction projects here was very similar to the US, inspections being made at intervals of completion and work being halted if inspections weren’t passed.

As they’d moved from the initial slab inspections on their buildings toward the latter stages of completion – the inspections were getting more and more difficult to coordinate. Each building on the property had to be inspected and there were so many.

Miguel was doing a good job of managing his subcontractors to keep all the buildings at the same stage at the same time but the inspectors didn’t make it easy on him and it was clearly a battle for him to hold to their timeframes and still find a balance of productivity with this workers. Ultimately, Miguel’s ability to make his living hung on his ability to never have an idle crew.

In the early stages there was more work to be done. For example, if they couldn’t work on any of the structures they could just dig trenches for a few days while they waited.

But, as the various jobs around the resort got closer to completion, there were less and less choices of how to spend their time. In some cases they’d wound up adding things for Miguel to do around the resort that were outside of his contract, just to keep him and his crew from being idle. These little side jobs were helpful for Dean and Cas when it came to crossing things off the many lists of things to do… but they were expensive. The budget was taking a hit. Again.

One of the more expensive side projects given to Miguel had become a favorite feature of both the boys. They were planning to call it the Tree-Top café. It was essentially a large deck, partially covered, complete with a small bar and a small kitchen. It was built based loosely on the tree house concept, by connecting nine trees with framework, about 18 feet off the ground. So, when a person sat on the deck of the ‘tree-top café they were actually up in the trees.

The tables had been ordered but weren’t in yet. When they arrived, they’d be scattered around the trunks of the trees that supported the structure. They planned to hang lights from the tree branches that would come on in the evenings.

The kitchen was very minimal and had been planned with Sunni’s guidance. She didn’t know it yet, but they planned to put her in charge of the food for their resort. Miguel had mentioned when he’d introduced them that she’d previously owned a restaurant in town. Now that they’d tasted her cooking they were sure she would do well and they were sure she’d be thrilled to be in charge of several bars and restaurants that were scattered over the property. The boys liked the idea of her bringing a true ethnic flavor to the food that would be served here.

They planned to focus on the local Honduran dishes they’d loved when visiting, like baleadas, while still keeping enough American staples to satisfy the guests and their children. (And Dean… who seemed to melt down if he went too long without a damn cheeseburger.)

The windmill was operational now, but it seldom ran. It was programmed to turn on each morning at 10 am and shut down each day at 3pm or when its energy storage was full – which ever came first. Nowadays, they were hardly using any power so it hardly ran. But when the resort was fully staffed and serving guests? They were anticipating it running daily on that schedule.

The millions they’d spent on the dredging and windmill were huge upfront costs that had eaten through their budget like fire through paper. But the benefit in the long run was a very low cost of daily operations. Air power was practically free. For decades to come they’d be saving tens of thousands of dollars each month over what other similarly sized resorts would pay to the power company.

The water tower went in just as quickly as the windmill but would be filling slowly over the next few months and they would not be able to use the water until a minimum level was achieved because the water treatment system didn’t work below that level.

Another interesting side project that Miguel and his crew had done while idle was the zip line. The platform was built inside the fenced area that housed the water tower and windmill base which would give them the ability to lock the platform and keep anyone from climbing any of the tall structures when staff weren’t around to monitor them.

When open, the first platform could be climbed (steps all the way up) and from the first platform, the excitement was the windmill arms. The platform was actually quite far from the spinning arms. But when you stood on the platform, it felt like they were right over your head. Each arm was the length of a semi-trailer and you could feel the thrum of power as each swooped by. It was exhilarating.

The platforms for the windmill, water tower and zip line were built on the highest elevation of the resort so the view down was a bit daunting. The zip line ride swept over the embankment, over the road, over the Lagoon-side beach and Jet-Ski rental building to a second platform. The second platform was an extension off the roof of the rental building and hung out over the water. From the second platform, guests would shuck off their gear and take hold of padded handles in the shape of bicycle handle bars… and jump. The longer they hung on, the closer to the water they’d be when they fell. No matter how poorly they hung on or how well, they ended up in the cool blue water of the lagoon in a roped off area.

The end of the zip-line was actually anchored in the water so there was no chance of anyone messing up the landing. You just got wet. No matter what. The nice feature was a return line that ran on electricity much like a ski lift. The bicycle handle bar was on automatic return and the employees manning the two platforms could also use it to manually return the discarded harnesses from the bottom back to the top. It was a very nice set up.

When this project had been completed, the boys took the crew up to use it. It was fun watching these gruff and burly men scream like little girls as they took the sharp and fast decent from the first tower to the second and then again as they plummeted like stones into the lagoon. Dean thrilled the workers by taking his trip upside down on the first go… then all the men had to try it again that way… proving manliness by action if only to emasculate themselves by screaming.

That had been a fun afternoon. Dean and Cas had stayed behind when the others drove off, under the pretense of checking the windmill and locking up.

Instead, they’d climbed the platform one last time and gotten frisky at the top. The birds had a lovely view of the action. And Cas had a lovely view of the lagoon as he peeked over the side while Dean laid into him. It had been far too long since they’d had wild sex out in broad daylight.

Another good thing about the resort environment? There was always lube just laying around everywhere… suntan lotion and tanning oil bottles were scattered everywhere. Nothing was quite as good as Astroglide; but in a pinch tanning products did the trick. Honestly, the scent of coconut tanning products was becoming an aphrodisiac for the boys; having used it so often for sexy times.

The actual treehouse construction, which was the base idea and the culmination of their vision went together much like the windmill. Fast.

They’d had meetings with Pete and his production team early on in the process to discuss the overall scope of the project. That had been simple because Dean and Cas had been united on what they wanted and were able to clearly articulate the style and function they hoped to have. Choosing the trees had been fun, but they’d had relatively little input, mostly they’d just been along for the ride as Pete had steered them towards trees and clusters of trees that would suit their needs. That part had been done before Dean and Cas were even living here.

Then, a few weeks ago there had been a quick production meeting with the actual filming crew and some interviews of the boys with Pete where Dean and Cas had been filmed for their small part of the show where they talked about what they wanted and why they’d chosen to build treehouses and what had attracted them to this area.

Then, when the actual shooting had started, there was a swarm of activity as Pete’s production crew took over their paradise for the better part of ten days. They weren’t allowed in the area while shooting was under way, except for a couple token appearances that were short and relatively scripted.

Then, they had been reduced to watching through binoculars from the top deck of the yacht. They motored around from open water to channel to lagoon, catching glimpses of activity as they crew and dozens of subcontractors with droves of video production support staff crashed through their jungle with high wires and scaffolding and equipment. 

The boys found they could observe lagoon side in the morning and then move to another location. By the time they came to the lagoon side later that day, the houses they could see would look totally different than they had earlier that day. It was _that fast._

They were putting in far too many tree houses for them to really have much input into the design of each without the project taking too long. It wasn’t like designing a typical resort where you design one room and then duplicate it a thousand times over. Each of these structures was going to be unique based on the tree itself.

So, they’d given Pete very specific design requests for their own tree house (and adjacent guest tree house) but had given over creative liberties to him regarding the specific design of the other dwellings.

Some things they’d known would be a pain from the beginning. Like designing handicap accessible units, adding dumbwaiters to the units for the resort staff, and trying to create the three ‘upscale’ tree house suites near the spa. These would have upgrades that the other units would not. And those specialties would be a pain.

The surprise for the boys was the wood. They were using far more wood to connect these tree houses with rope bridges than they were using on the actual dwellings.

The Layout was very random compared to the careful uniformity of a normal resort and it had become obvious that they would need to start working on some way to include signage at every juncture to mark paths for guests to follow and not get lost. Otherwise people would likely complain about wandering for an hour to find the restaurant or the nearest way down.

Some trees had no tree house, but were simply encased in a spiral stair case for access to a landing which then connected to the network.

It really did look like its own ewok city. But, nicer. The lines were cleaner and more sophisticated.

Now, with Pete’s team having come and gone so quickly, the boys had still not seen each dwelling. But there was still work to be done. There were finished touches to add, systems to implement and they were literally… waiting on the cable guy. Satellite TV for all these treehouses. Yikes.

Both he and Cas had been thrilled with how their tree house came out. It actually had two levels. The lower level was their living quarters and it was far more civilized than either man had been picturing when they’d planned to live in a tree house. They had a very nice bathroom with a tile shower. They had a respectable kitchen and even a washer/dryer stacked in next to the little pantry. The entire thing was a giant hexagon surrounding the tree and a balcony off their bedroom connected to a balcony off the dinette so the entire ocean-facing side of their place had outdoor spaces. Then, if you followed the ladder up higher, there was a ‘crows nest’ platform higher in the tree. It perched in the vee of two large branches and it had a bench seat that wrapped around the back half, providing a place to sit and relax and look out over the beach. There was a small brass fire basin in front of it. It was perfect.

Naturally, there were no workers around at night. All the activity on the property ended near dark. So when Dean and Cas snuck up there at near midnight that first night… they were certain they were alone.

They started a little fire in the basin, up in their ‘crow’s nest’ and relaxed on the cushioned seating. It was very peaceful to watch the moon and clouds glide across the sky over the dark rolling waters and hear the night sounds of the jungle around them.

It didn’t take long for the boys to begin the process of ‘breaking in’ these new spaces. Cuddling around their little fire soon led to a little bit of soft tickling. Tickling led to quiet laughter and squirming. Squirming lead to grinding and grinding lead to thrusting and pretty soon, Dean and Cas were peeling layers off each other.

 In the soft orange firelight Dean watched Cas’ magnetic eyes grow lustful as he licked over the firm buds of Deans nipples.

Cas felt desire pool in his stomach as he traced his finger down the smooth expanse of Deans flat stomach, and felt his fingers dip slightly over the defined washboard muscles that lived, rock hard, just under the surface. When his fingers bumbled into the soft treasure trail, he followed it south until he bumped against a warm, soft appendage that leapt at his touch, begging for attention.

Cas’ mouth was watering, excited to feel that hardening member slide over his tongue. And in the warm glow of small flickering flames, he slid back from Dean on the bench and captured that warm thick and waiting member in his mouth.

He enjoyed the zing of electricity that traveled from the tip of his tongue all the way down his spine as he captured the essence of his lover in his mouth and drank him in. He wrapped his lips around Dean and sucked his man like a baby sucks a bottle… like there’s nothing else in the world. Eyes closed, hands gripping, swallowing contentedly while still sucking ardently for more and more and more.

When he felt Dean’s hips start moving, he couldn’t resist touching himself, lightly trailing a fingertip around in his own wetness leaking out. Deans hand joined and his palm wrapped around Cas tightly and firmly while Cas doodled lazily around the tip.

But, feeling Deans firm hand on him, his mouth responded in kind. He pulled up and sucked deeply on the head and then slowly sucked harder and harder, pulling his head back down on that dick with the power of his suction. It was intense and Dean cried out with pleasure. There was a single bird call after that but the animals in the trees around them seemed to get very quiet, expectant. It was as if they were listening to see if their new tree-mates would make any other noises, like they wanted in on the action.

So Cas began working over Dean in earnest. He wanted to hear his man make noises. He wanted the animals to hear Dean make noises. He began bobbing his head faster and faster and faster until it was ferocious and rough. His lips were bruising from his teeth digging in to them to squeeze tighter and tighter.

Dean was vocal now. He was panting and letting vowels fall from his mouth in meaningless babble… “Ah ah… Oh oh oh… Uuuugggh!”

Dean had long ago forgotten to keep stroking Cas’ dick. He was clutching it now, like it was a handle to grip on a thrill ride.

Cas didn’t realize how close he was to coming either, but as he locked his frame and bobbed relentlessly on Deans manhood he felt his man shutter and release. He felt the back of his throat tickle with each pulse of his Deans load and he meant to swallow… he meant to... but he came at the same time and completely lost his mind!

He just garbled out a shout around Deans pulsing dick; and as the waves over took him he just tried not to bite down. Soft, wet lines of jizz and spit leaked from the corner of his open mouth as the rode his pleasure and spurted over Dean’s hand.

The pleasure had crashed over him so hard and fast that he felt wrecked by it. He laid there, halfway covering Dean for a few moments, not even pulling his mouth away so he could close it.

Dean looked down and saw the hot mess. Cas was on his side with his knees bent in sprawl, Cas’ dick was wet with jizz and somehow Deans hand was still wrapped around it, shiny and wet in the low light where Cas had released on him.

His own dick looked the same, wet, starting to droop in satisfaction, Cas still open mouthed, dick laying partway in his soft mouth which was still panting and there was jizz all over Cas’ face. A string connected his upper lip to the tip of Dean.

It may have been a mess, but the sight of it was shockingly sexy and erotic.

 _Hands down, best blow job ever_ Dean thought.

It was almost dawn when they’d made their way back to the yacht. They crawled under covers and laced their legs together, nose to nose saying good night… only to have the alarm wake them 90 minutes later.

They had met briefly at their tree house again over lunch, but only to go over a list of things to do. They’d grabbed a quick kiss and an ass squeeze and then jumped back in their separate vehicles and went on about their day.

They were so busy now, that there was precious little time for the steamy encounters anymore. More often than not… it was a quickie hand job in the shower.

The good news of yesterday was that their marina was done. The yacht was actually tied up to the dock and the boys were happy to no longer have to use the raft to get back and forth to shore. They didn’t deflate the raft though. It bobbed in the water, tied up near the swim platform in case they needed a small boat for anything.

But it was very nice to be able to just pull up in the jeep and walk up the pier to their ‘front door’, rather than having to deal with rafting out there and back whenever they came and went.

And now, Dean’s footsteps thumped loudly on the new dock as he ran down it and flung himself up onto the yacht.

“Cas?”

“Kitchen!”

Dean thundered through the little dinette and into the galley. His face was red from exertion and he was breathing heavily as he barreled into his man and pressed into him exuberantly, grasping his shoulders…

“Mom’s coming!”

Cas’ jaw dropped and then snapped shut again, smile breaking and crinkling the corners of his eyes, “When?”

Dean was ecstatic. “In three days! She’s bringing friends with her! She sounds so excited…” he crowded Cas back and pushed him towards the counter where he’d been chopping veggies and wrapped arms tightly around him hugging fiercely, “She said she loved the windmill video you sent her and now that we have power she’s all in for a visit!”

Cas hugged Dean back excitedly, then crossed the galley to grab paper from his brief case.

“Whatcha doin buddy?” Dean asked as Cas leaned on the counter and began scribbling.

“Making a list.”

“Of what?”

“Of things to do before your mom comes, Dean. She and her friends will be our first guests!”

“Oh…” said Dean picking up Cas’ knife and proceeding to chop peppers and onions, “I love that you’re thinking of them that way… but she’s here to see us, not stay in the resort. Don’t think of her has a guest to take care of. She’s mom. And I hope its okay that she just stays on the boat with us.”

“Of course it is Dean,” said Cas reassuringly, “I just want to make it nice for her. For them. I need to get to the store… and I need to clean…” his voice trailed off as he looked around pointedly.

As Dean followed Cas’ eyes around the space he realized the man was right. They’d been working like blue collar employees for months on end… trouncing through this expensive yacht in work boots and laying dirty hands on everything.

It was dingy and grungy… as if two men were living here. Because two men were living here. Two men who got dirty and sweaty every day but for some reason were living on a ridiculously fancy yacht. The ‘guest room’ was piled high with boxes and supplies and they didn’t even have any sheets for that bed. Dean’s eyes caught a glimpse of the bedroom he shared with Cas – it was even worse.

Neither of them was a slob. But the life they were living now was a very simple and practical one. They’d also been incredibly busy so there were stacks and piles of things everywhere that needed their attention.

Cas was right. There was a lot to do before he’d feel good about Mary Winchester coming into this space and bringing her friends with her.

Dean pressed his lips to Cas firmly and roughly and said, “Thanks Cas. I don’t think I’d even noticed how nasty we’ve let this place get. You’re right. We have to clean, we have to move the storage out of the extra room. Shop... and,” he laughed loudly, “disinfect the bathroom.”

His eye caught a glimpse of a vibrator peeking out from under their bed, discarded the other night after an extremely satisfying round of mind blowing sex. Both men had been too weak in the knees afterwards to care where the toys may have landed. “Fuck, Cas, this feels like college… I have to hide my shit. My MOM’s comin’!” he laughed.

Both men were laughing now, as Cas resumed chopping and stirring his dish on the little stove. Dean took the list Cas had started and double checked it. He added ‘clear our schedules’ to it. That would be a challenge. But family first. And Dean had missed his mother more than he’d acknowledged. Three days was a long time to wait for her to arrive.

“What are you doing now?” Cas asked him, glancing at Dean over his shoulder as he chopped.

“Makin’ one of your precious lists.” He snarked jokingly, “Mom’s an excellent person to brainstorm with.  I’m gonna need a list to remind me of all the shit I want to ask her about while she’s here.”

“Add something for me?” asked Cas.

“Sure, what?”

“Umm… the signs for the guests… to guide them around the treehouse network… I was thinking maybe wood burning for that. I want her opinion. It might be too campy… you know… too contrived.”

“Got it. Anything else?”

“Put lube on the grocery list.” Then he added quickly, “ **NOT** on the list of shit to talk to Mom about” laughed Cas.

 

 

 

Sam was watching Jess as they drove. She had something up her sleeve… he could tell. Rather than possibly spoil whatever surprise she had in store for him at her house, he tried to occupy his mind with other things.

His mind flashed through a few sexual encounters that would be welcome surprises, but he knew her better than to imagine that sex would somehow be their celebration. She’d have thought of something else. She’d been far more confident when anticipating the outcome of today’s board meeting than Sam had been. If they were celebrating, she’d likely planned something days ago.

When they arrived, she went straight to the bedroom and pulled a suitcase out from under the bed. He watched her start putting things in it.

“You going somewhere?” he asked her.

“No, _we’re_ going somewhere!” she said coyly.

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise!” she squeaked at him, clearly excited. “You need to call the office and let them know you’ll be gone tomorrow through next Wednesday.” She said smiling widely and holding up a sexy string bikini and a one piece swim suit with cut outs. “Which one?” she asked him.

“The blue,” he said as he pulled out his phone to call the office, “I like where this is going!” he enthused as he fingered the blue bikini.

“I just need five more minutes and then we can go to your place.”

“What’s at my place?”

“Umm… your suitcase sweetie… try to keep up!” she teased him.

“So I’m going to pack and not know where I’m going?”

“That’s right.” She said firmly. “I may blindfold you at the airport, if you can promise not to get hard when I do” she laughed.

“Damn baby,” he said grabbing her and pulling her into his lap, “how long til we fly?”

“In the morning. We’re meeting our party at the airport.”

“Who else is in our party?”

“That’s a surprise too.” She said firmly.

“Well, if it’s Asian strippers, I’m all in!” he said, trying to provoke her.

“Oh Sam. You’ve totally ruined my surprise. I actually planned to take you on an erotic cruise with a set of twin Asian strippers.”

With that, he threw her down on the bed and began tickling her sides and thighs until she was squealing and begging for mercy. “Where are we going!” he demanded.

“I’ll NEVER tell! Never!” she yelled as she flopped and rolled and tried to get away from the relentless tickling.

“If you won’t tell me for a tickle… then I’ll have to start pinching!” he threatened her.

Her chest was heaving and she was breathing heavily as he held up his thumb and pointer finger in a pinch-threat. “Can you start with my nipples?” she asked him roughly.

Sam Zero.

Jess One.

 

 

 

The next two days were a whirl wind for Dean and Cas. It took almost the entire day just to check one item off the to-do-list. The one that said “clear our schedules.”

It wasn’t like they had a secretary and they could just stick their head out the office doors and say, “Hold my calls and cancel my meetings.”

They actually had to call and reschedule their own meetings. Then they had to delegate the things they were responsible for over the next few days to Sunni and Roberto who had slowly become their two most trusted. By the time they’d actually gotten their schedules cleared, the sun was already sinking.

They spent a few hours taking all their paperwork from the yacht over to the SW office, which is where it would eventually end up anyway. The building was finished it just wasn’t furnished. So they just grabbed a few large stumps from the scrap pile and loaded them in the back of the jeep with a few 2x4 boards. In the dark they drug the stumps into the office and laid the 2x4’s across them as a makeshift counter and put all their papers and boxes on top, in as much order as possible for easy access. Their paperwork had long ago grown too cumbersome for the tiny living spaces in the yacht anyway. It was probably time to start putting together an office space. They nodded agreement that they’d work on that as soon as Mary and her friends left.

Next, they jumped back in the jeep and grabbed their ‘toy box’ boxes from the bedroom. They made sure that all offending adult toys were accounted for and cleaned before taping the boxes (still marked ANNA) and headed over to put them in their new tree house… where hopefully no one would disturb them or ask about them.

Now, with the clutter gone, they dropped down at the table – exhausted.

“Wanna do ‘Rock/Paper/Scissors’ to see who’s gotta fix food?” asked Dean.

“I’ll fix dinner if you jack me off when it’s done.”

“Deal.” Replied Dean without even thinking.

Two minutes later over Spaghetti O’s and beer, Dean said, “Cas, I think I got the short end of the stick here.”

Cas looked down at his own junk appraisingly and said, “Nope. You’re not getting the short end of anything.”

 

 

 

Sam stretched languidly and rolled over in his bed to wrap arms around Jess. But his bed was empty. He sat up and looked around. The bathroom was empty, where was she?

He padded out into the hall in his boxers and followed the dim light coming from the living room. He saw her curly blond hair from over the back of the sofa.

“Hey,” he said as he came around the end of the couch and sat down with her, “What are you doing?”

“I woke up early… I guess I was excited… anyway, I couldn’t get back to sleep so I thought I may as well get some work done.”

“I see. Well, at this point, it’s so close to sunrise… I could get up too and we could go have a nice breakfast somewhere before we go to the airport if you want.”

“Um, that sounds nice but I think I’d rather just stay here and finish this up. It’ll be one less thing to worry about when I get back.”

“Ok. Well, I’ll let you get back to it,” he said as he headed to the kitchen and poured himself a bowl of cereal. He looked out his giant window as he ate and watched the night fade and the first hint of color begin to appear in the sky. When he’d finished eating, he chose to nap on the couch near her, rather than crawl back into his bed. The click of her fingers on the keyboard soon became white noise that shuttled him to sleep.

When he heard the snap of her laptop lid closing, he opened his eyes and looked around. It was almost ten. “What time do we leave?”

“Half an hour” she told him. He kissed her and headed for the shower while she stood in the mirror and brushed her teeth and hair.

By 11:00 they were in pulling their bags through the airport. She guided him to the bar and settled down in a high backed stool. He followed her and watched her order a mimosa and a double shot of whiskey.

When he drinks came, she clinked her champagne flute to his tumbler. “To forgiveness,” she said with a soft smile.

“What?”

“Umm… just drink that. You’re gonna need it when you see who we’re traveling with.”

Sam shot the whiskey with a grimace and dropped the glass heavily to the bar. To his astonishment, he watched her gesture to the bar tender that he needed another.

“I knew it wasn’t Siamese twin strippers,” he said dejectedly.

She gave him a smile and whispered, “Just remember that I love you.” She took a long swig of her mimosa and then added, “And that you love me too.”

He nodded as if she’d just stated a fact. Because she had. It didn’t even seem to matter that he’d never said those three words out loud to her. He knew it. She knew it. Now it had been said and acknowledged. As he downed the rest of his second tumbler, he saw a familiar face move out of the crowd and into the bar.

“Mom?”

 

 

 

Dean and Cas spent most of that next day spreading the scent of Pine-sol around the yacht. They scrubbed and vacuumed and dusted and washed dishes and washed linens. They sprayed down the boat deck and swim platform and polished the wood and wiped handprints from walls and stairwells and banisters. They had the place shining by dinner time.

They ate cold sandwiches, not wanting to mess up the immaculate kitchen, and then guided the yacht away from the dock and out onto the water. It was breezy so there was a good chop on the water. It made the ride a bit rougher so they slowed down. It took a bit longer than usual to get back to civilization that way, but they were in no hurry. They’d arranged for a shuttle to and from the airport tomorrow afternoon. Between now and then, all they had to do was go shopping.

They sat together up top, Dean in the captain’s chair steering and Cas next to him, both men nursing beers and enjoying the cool breeze and a moonlit night on the water. Dark shores slipped by them to the left and open ocean rolled to their right as far as the eye could see.

When the dark shore line started to show points of light, signs of life, they knew they were approaching the sting of villages that dotted the coast between no-mans-land and town. When town gave way to city, they would enter the marina and navigate through to their slip.

The trip was quiet and relaxing. Neither man said much, just enjoying each other’s company. When they were all tied off and locked down, they began walking to the front entrance of the marina and Dean used his cell to call a cab.

The cab took them to the shopping center. They walked between several different stores to get all they needed.

They’d picked up some creature comforts for the guest room… sheets, towels, a night light and some pretty soaps.

They’d also picked up the things on their grocery list and a few miscellaneous items. Then, they called another cab to take them back to the marina.

Once their things were all put away, Cas and Dean sat down at the table to check over their lists. It appeared they were ready for company. Dean was restless, though. He didn’t think he’d be able to sleep.

“We could go have a few drinks somewhere if you want?” offered Cas.

“No, I think let’s just stay here.” He said, not really wanting to venture back out, “Hey, you know what we haven’t done even one time on this yacht?”

“What?”

“Watch TV.”

Cas chuckled. He grabbed a couple beers from the fridge and followed Dean to the couch in the adjoining salon and they settled in. It took a few minutes to figure out how to work everything and find the menu channel. Once they did, it was like magic. It was a forgotten bliss to just sit back mindlessly and let themselves be entertained.

They didn’t think about their lists or the problems that had come up that day or how to solve them. There were no lingering thoughts to second guess. It was mind numbing bliss. They settled back and tangled their legs together comfortably, watching a funny comedian on comedy central and then some campy movie on sci – fi network.

Cas looked over and saw Dean sleeping in the low light from the television screen. His lips were parted and his worry lines relaxed. He looked younger and softer in sleep. He was always beautiful – always. But in sleep there was just something different about the set of the man’s mouth. Cas always seemed to When he watched Dean sleep, he always had an urge to lean in and kiss the corner of his mouth. No idea why.

For tonight, he just let his head fall back and they slept there. On the couch in front of the TV, legs comfortably linked, one over, one under.

 

 

 

“Mom?” stammered Sam, “What are you… you’re going with us?  Oh… you’re going with us…” Mary watched her son process.

She looked to Jess who was still clutching a mimosa tightly and watching Sam carefully to see what his reaction would be.

It wasn’t fair to set him up. But it had gotten him to the airport. Hopefully, he’d find the strength to roll with them onto the plain instead back-peddling out the door and leaving them there.

Mary sensed he needed a moment, so she didn’t push. She watched her grown-man of a baby-boy swallow hard and do the mental math.

“You guys are taking me to Honduras aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Does he know I’m coming?”

“No. I couldn’t tell him,” said Mary, “What if you wouldn’t come? It would break his heart.”

“He doesn’t want to see me mom. He won’t even take my calls.”

“He hasn’t been dodging your calls Sam. He just has a new number. Their American phones didn’t work there.”

“What if I get there and he doesn’t want to see me? Have you two thought of that?”

“He wants to see you,” the girls said in unison.

“How do you know that?” he asked ardently, looking back and forth between them.

“Because.” Said Mary calmly, “The day he left he told me to tell you that he loved you.”

Sam was silent, processing.

“If he left months ago, then why are you only telling me now?”

“Because,” said Mary firmly, “His words were… ‘When he’s ready to hear it… tell my brother I love him.”

“And you thought I wasn’t ready?” he asked her quietly.

“I still didn’t know you were ready. Jess told me.” Sam was looking at the floor, “You used to twitch every time I mentioned him. So I stopped mentioning him. I figured one day, you’d be ready to talk to me about him and you’d come to me. And then I would tell you.” She answered, “But instead, I got a call from Jess. She and I both love you very much. We’re not trying to force you into anything. But we’re here for you. And we believe it’s finally time. Sam. Look at me.”

Sam did look at her, he looked her in the eye and she said, “Let’s go see your brother.”

 

 

 

When Dean woke in the middle of the night, he felt the beginnings of a sore neck. He pulled himself up and tapped Cas on the thigh. The man got up with him and followed him silently to their bed. They crawled in and pulled together in the middle.

When they woke in the morning, they found their hands tracing each other’s lines and their lips exploring. They made love quietly and softly. It was quite a novelty for both men to be clean at the same time, in a clean bed and well rested. It was nice. They dozed off and on for a while afterwards, Deans forehead tucked into Cas’ strong chest.

When they woke up again, they took the time to make the bed and shave and dress nicely. They had a light lunch and soon it was time to make for the airport.

Dean hadn’t been the one to book the flight or he would’ve come to pick them up in the capital so they wouldn’t have to ride in the little turbo prop over to the coast. He remembered how cramped and uncomfortable that part of the trip had been.

But, from here, his mother and her friends would be comfortable. They had a shuttle van waiting curbside to take them to the marina, and the boys were planning to give Mary their room and her friends the guest room. The boys would sleep on the couch.

It would be a little cramped. But they didn’t want to ask anyone to stay in a tree house without running water. He wanted them comfortable on the boat. He and Cas had no qualms about sleeping in a tree house ‘as-is’ but honestly, he just didn’t want to be that far away from his mom. He’d missed her too much. He wanted to be as close as possible for as long as she was here.

They waited on a bench near baggage claim, looking up every time a swarm of people flooded in, even though Mary’s flight wasn’t due for another half hour.

Cas sauntered off at one point to use the restroom and grab a Coke. Aside from that, they waited in companionable silence.

 

 

 

The flight was smooth out of San Francisco and the connection was easy. Landing in the capital wasn’t as bad as expected either. The airport was clean and nice and most of the signs had both English and Spanish on them. There was even a McDonalds. The three moved through the airport together, Sam between his ladies and trying hard to believe that his brother may be able to forgive him after all.

He’d spent so much time reminding himself that he didn’t deserve to be forgiven… so much effort made to force himself to adjust to life without his brother… should he even dare to hope? His mother and Jess seemed pretty certain, and he trusted them.

He hoped that they hadn’t just flown all this way - only so his mom and girlfriend could watch his brother take a swing…

He climbed the awkward steps into the tiny plane and found his way to a seat that was small even for Jess. For Sam? Ugh. He practically had his head between his knees the entire flight.

 

 

When Mary’s flight was announced as having landed, Dean stood and began to pace. He strained his eyes for the sight of her amidst the crowd. He looked back at Cas who was still sitting on the bench and watching dean pace out of the corner of his eye.

He looked back down the wide hall and didn’t even realize his legs were pulling him forward. When he’d realized he was walking, he glanced back to Cas. His man was standing now, following.

Dean paused to allow him to catch up and smiled. Then he turned back forward and they walked together, toward the crowd of people who were headed for baggage claim. Dean caught a glimpse of wavy blonde hair… then her face… their eyes met and she smiled… a huge welcoming ear-to-ear smile. They were only about ten feet apart when he felt Cas stop dead. He glanced back and Cas looked like he’d seen a ghost. Dean paused and then took another step toward Mary. As his eyes moved back to his mom, he saw it. He saw what had stopped Cas in his tracks.

Sam and mom. Mom and Sam.  Sam.  Sam.  Sam.

Dean kept walking, eyes locking on the face he’d seen only in his dreams for over a year. His eyes grew cloudy but he kept going the last three steps. Then, arms. Tight locking arms. Gut wrenching sobs. Sam was locked to him like an Octopus. It wasn’t tight enough.

Cas watched from a few feet back as Dean walked into the arms he’d longed to feel for so long. His heart leapt for joy watching Dean sink into the hug and bury his face in his brothers neck. Both men were sobbing.

He looked to Mary, her eyes were glued to her boys and tears were streaming down her face. There was a young lady with them too. She was also freely crying. Cas had no idea who she was. If it was one of Sam’s here-today-gone-tomorrow girls it didn’t make sense for her to be here.

Cas wiped his own tears and watched as the brothers stayed connected for far longer than one would think. Mary finally turned away from them and looked at Cas. The two of them stepped toward each other, wiping tears on the backs of their hands and embraced. “I’ve missed you boys so much.” She said through tears. “We’ve missed you too.” He said honestly. Cas hadn’t realized how much he really had missed Mary until now. But he had. It was good to feel her arms again.

She pulled back from him and looked him up and down, “My goodness,” she said grinning, “you look incredible Cas… the tropics have been good to you!”

“Everybody looks better with a tan,” he teased her, “You’ll see. When you get back to SF all tanned – people will be telling you how incredible you look.”

“Cas,” said Mary as she pulled the unknown girl forward, “This is Jessica. She’s Sam’s girlfriend and she’s the one who is responsible for this little happy ending.”

Cas took her hand when she extended it, “Pleasure to meet you Jessica,” smiled Cas warmly.

“Call me Jess,” she replied, glancing at the brothers who were only now pulling apart.

Dean and Sam had stepped a half step apart, but were still loosely connected by their hands which were wrapped around the backs of each other’s necks, clearly not wanting to let go yet.

They exchanged a few words – something along the lines of a greeting – Cas couldn’t hear it _._

Simultaneously the brothers seemed to become aware of their audience and they looked at the rest of their party, grinning sheepishly and wiping their faces on their sleeves.

Hugs were passed around through the group. Cas watched Sam introduce Jess to Dean. She stepped up and told Dean she was thrilled to finally meet him.

Once everyone had hugged everyone, they started moving toward baggage claim. Then, with bags retrieved, they moved to exit the airport. The driver opened the side door of the van for them and stowed their bags in the back of the van while everyone got seated. Mary sat in the back seat with Dean and Cas and Sam and Jess sat in the smaller seat closer to the front.

Cas watched their heads tip together and saw them rearrange themselves so they could hold hands. Dean was talking to Mary, but his hand reached, without even looking and found Cas. Cas returned the sentiment with a squeeze and let go. He waited quietly for the conversation between Dean and Mary to open up and include him as he knew it eventually would once they got past their quiet whispers about the big ‘Sam Surprise’.

At the marina, Dean and Cas helped the group wrestle their bags on board and showed them to their rooms.

Dean made a joke to Sam about the dainty soaps in the bathroom. “We thought mom’s friends would be in this room. We had no idea there would be a guy here at all. So, yeah. Enjoy the little soaps shaped like hearts and flowers.”

Sam smiled, a wonderful happy smile that Jess hadn’t seen yet. Her new favorite smile of Sam’s. The one that lit him up like nothing else so far. The one for his brother.

Dean clapped his hands together and backed out into the hall, “We’ll let you guys all get settled in, just make yourselves at home. We’re gonna go throw some grub together upstairs, just come on up when you get hungry,” he said as he pivoted to leave them. As he passed by Mary he gave her another quick hug. And then they left their guests in peace.

Cas was behind Dean as he moved outside rather than to the kitchen. He watched the man’s back as he moved to the railing and looked over it.

“Don’t jump” joked Cas, “You’re young and you have everything to live for!”

Dean chuckled at Cas’ lousy attempt at humor. Cas leaned up next to him on the railing. “Do you need some time alone?”

“No man. Stay. Always stay.”

_Always_


	26. I Think I Can Sleep Now

When Dean stepped out of their cabin, Sam moved to close the door behind him. He sat down on the bed and Jess sprawled out behind him.

“Well, you vixen, you got what you wanted.” He teased her.

“What? A beach vacation?”

“To see me cry again.” He chuckled, “Clearly you like it…”

“Only when they’re happy tears.” She said firmly, reaching out to rub his back from where she lay behind him.

“They were both – happy and sad.” He said quietly, “The second I saw his face I knew he wanted me here… I could see the relief. He’s been waiting for me.”

“Obviously I don’t know Dean, but I had suspected as much.”

“Yeah, but now I have to actually talk to him. Explain why I did what I did and tell him how sorry I am.”

“And that’s what the sad tears were for?”

“Kind of. That and the guilt. Knowing what I did to him. That’s not any better. Probably never will be.”

“I think that will fade with time. When you feel forgiven… and asking for that will probably be easier than you think.” She said confidently. “Don’t force it honey. There’s no firing squad waiting for you to sit down and plead your case, ok? Just enjoy spending some time with your brother. The hard stuff won’t be so bad if you just let it happen on its own. The right time and place for everything will usually present itself for these things.”

“You think so?”

“Yes. And if you two haven’t made progress by our last night here… I’ll just get you both hammered and give you a push, ok?”

“Ok, gorgeous, it’s your party.” He leaned back then, letting his head come to rest on her thigh. “If I had known we were going to be spending this week with my mom… I might have chosen the other swim suit when you asked me,” he chuckled.

“I threw them both in the bag,” she smiled.

“Why’d you even ask me then?”

“So I could watch your eyes light up.”

“Thank you Jess, for getting me on that plane.”

“You got yourself on the plane,” She said, running her fingers through his soft hair, “I got you to the airport.”

 

When they strolled out of their room, hand in hand, they knocked on Mary’s door and she joined them in the search for the kitchen.

They found Cas and Dean putting out plates of sandwiches and fruit. Dean looked up when they approached and tossed Sam a beer. Cas was opening a bottle of wine for the ladies. As he handed each lady a glass, he asked them how their flight was. All the visitors said they could’ve lived without the trip from the capital to the coast. Dean and Cas nodded along with that, letting them know that they could omit that part of the journey on the return trip and they’d simply drive over to the capital.

“You’ll see some of the interior lands that way… get a look at the capital before you fly out.” Confirmed Cas.

Mary asked a few questions about the yacht and while answering, the boys let her know that this would be their home base for the rest of the trip.

“I thought the tree houses were done?” she asked.

“Pete’s part of them is done,” confirmed Dean, “but they still need some work to be ready for guests. And there still isn’t running water to them yet. We’ll take you guys to see them – we’re going to take you around the resort and show you the whole thing.”

“Is it coming together how you planned?”

“Better in some ways,” says Dean while he leans on the counter and bites into a sandwich, “Worse in others.” Both he and Cas chuckle at that.

Cas asked the ladies what they were most looking forward to on their trip.

Mary said her moment had come already when the boys hugged, and favored each with a loving smile. She dropped an arm around Jess and asked what Jess was most looking forward to.

“Snorkeling!” she said loudly, “Not that I didn’t love the bro hugs and all… but yeah. I want to snorkel.”

“Well then,” Cas piped up, “We’ll do that first. We’re actually very close to some of the best snorkeling in the country. We’ll head over to Roatan first. That’s actually where Dean and I stayed the first few nights we were here when we visited.”

“Is that where the monkey’s pass over?”

“That’s actually here, on the mainland. Was that something you were wanting to do?” Dean asked them.

“NO!” shouted Mary, “It sounds terrifying! I was just curious,” she confessed with a smile.

“It IS terrifying!” Cas told her, “But exciting too.”

“What are you guys talking about with monkeys passing over?” asked Sam – speaking for the first time.

Dean leaned in and told him how the ‘Ken and Barbie’ couple at the Grand Canyon had told them about their stay in a hut in Honduras where a fleet of screeching, howling monkeys passed over their roof in the wee hours of the morning every day. He explained that he and Cas had been so obsessed with it that they’d hopped the next plane and come down here – literally a day or two later.

He went on to explain what the experience of it had been like and that they’d been back to do it again since because it was so incredible.

He also told Sam about how much trouble it had caused for Cas. That the press had made out like Cas had left the country to avoid prosecution from the Baxter/Milton scandal.

“Damn.” Was his stunned response.

“So that’s what started all of this for you guys?” he asked, “Moving? Build a resort? All of it was over monkeys?”

“Yeah,” they said, meeting eyes over the table and exchanging a soft laugh.

“Cool,” said Jess, smiling at them with bright eyes.

Cas excused himself from the table saying he’d get them underway. Dean jumped up and said he’d get the ropes. A few minutes later, Cas was at the helm and Dean was on the back deck with his family. Jess was preoccupied with the scenery, enthralled as they navigated through the lines and lines of yachts and fishing vessels that were ‘parked’ here in the marina. When they glided out of the ‘no wake zone’, Cas sped them up to a nice cruising speed and turned on the boats sound system. Dean went back to the bar and started making blender drinks, bringing tasty mixed daiquiris to his mom and Jess.

“Go ahead, Sam, I won’t tell anyone,” he said slyly as he pushed a frozen berry concoction in a hurricane glass toward his brother.

Sam looked at it for a split second and then took it with a smile. They hadn’t been under way long when they began passing tiny little islands. Dean pointed out some of the interesting things in the area but mostly they just enjoyed the breeze and the sun and the smooth sweetness of rum based drinks.

When they were rounding the southern tip of the big island. Dean told everyone it was time to put on suits, and went up to see if Cas wanted any help. As they navigated toward the reef, they found that it was still crowded with tour boats. People in little orange floats with tour company logos on them were swarming in the water like ants.

Dean looked at his watch. It was almost four. The vast majority of these groups would be clearing out then. He and Cas headed for the deck and pulled everyone toward the swim platform. The afternoon sun was hot so they double checked to be sure everyone had on sunscreen and while the scent of coconut (aphrodisiac to the boys) permeated the air, they went over all the things that a tour company would go over. They told them not to stand in any grasses or touch any coral and not to take anything out of the water – even shells.

Then, they got everyone sized and fitted with masks and flippers. By the time they were sliding off the swim platform and into the water, there were far less people. Most of the larger boats were gone, so the reef was pleasant.

Dean took the liberty of sprinkling fish foot as he swam past Mary and soon she was engulfed by colorful fish. Cas swam around the group, taking pictures with disposable underwater cameras. He did his best to get shots of everyone as they played in the turquoise waters amongst schools of tropical fish.

He got a picture of Jess, submerged and smiling at the camera as she waved toward Cas. She didn’t know it but a large ray had been moving along right behind her. The picture would be a marvelous souvenir for her. It had been a very lucky coincidence of timing for Cas when taking the picture.

Dean spent a lot of time side by side with his mom in the water. Cas followed along and took several pictures of them as well, some with beautiful coral formations behind them and managed to get one of Mary when she made the only sea turtle sighting of the day.

Cas climbed out of the water to drop his cameras off when they were used up, and then perched on the platform drinking a beer and just watching the group having fun together. By this time, they were the only boat left and the only people in the water.

When he was hot again, baked in the sun, he jumped back in and took a leisurely lap around the small part of the reef they were enjoying.

Shortly after, everyone found themselves sitting on the swim platform, feet swirling in the cool water and resting, making jokes about their prune fingers and toes.

When everyone was out of the water and the gear was put up, they pulled up the anchor and got underway. Cas was in the captain’s chair and Dean stayed on the deck with his mom, handing her a beer.

Sam and Jess had gone forward to try out the sundeck and Dean watched Mary pull a sundress on over her suit. He settled in next to her, sipping his beer and watching the coastline pass by as they headed south. They didn’t say much, just enjoying each other’s company and the beautiful scenery.

He got up for a few minutes and took Cas a beer, bringing a second round on deck for he and his mom. Clearly the music that was playing over the sound system was a playlist made by Cas. It had a very nice mixture of the new local music they’d been listening to along with favorite rock and blues songs of his and even the 70’s music that Mary loved.

Right now, as he tipped his bottle neck toward Mary in a silent ‘cheers’ they were listening to a very mellow song, called ‘Magnet and Steel’ by Walter Egan. Clearly it was a favorite of Mary’s – she was humming along. Dean had to hand it to Cas. The man seemed to think of everything.

“You look great Dean, really great,” she said, “You both do. You boys are really thriving here, aren’t you?”

“Yeah mom. We’ve been pretty happy. It’s the happiest I’ve ever been. But I think it had gotten more stressful than we’d realized lately… we’re getting so close to the completion of the project and we’re just getting pulled in so many different directions. Your trip was well timed,” he grinned at her, “We didn’t even realize we needed a break until you came, but a little time off will be good for us too.”

“Oh I’m glad! I was worried we would be an inconvenience.”

“No way, I’ve missed you so much. I’m glad you’re here.”

“How are you feeling about Sam?”

“I’m happy he’s here too. I’ve missed him.”

“You still have anger at him.” It wasn’t a question.

Dean nodded. There was no reason to lie.

“He will find it hard to ask you for your forgiveness. He’s told Jess he doesn’t think he deserves it. That’s why he stayed away. He couldn’t even _imagine_ you being able to forgive him for what he did.”

“I already have.” He told her honestly. “I’ve moved past it”

“Have you?”

He looked down at the label on his bottle that he’d been shredding, “Mostly.”

“Well,” said Mary, leaning in closer to Dean, “I got a call from Norman Spencer the other day. He said that at the last board meeting, your brother grew a pair. He gave an impassioned speech opposing further layoffs and then told the entire board that he’d been a fool to vote for your removal and so had they... he even admitted jealousy being a factor in his vote against you and said that your father wouldn’t have stood for your removal.”

“Damn straight.” Dean said, more harshly than he’d meant to.

She continued as if she hadn’t heard his outburst, “I guess then he launched into all kinds of numbers that showed how much revenue the firm had lost because of your removal. They’re replacing you now, but the official position is going to be titled differently. I just thought you’d like to know that…” she said as she reached out and lifted his chin – forcing him to meet her eye, “you’re brother and the board… they all want you back. The job will be yours if you want it,” She let that sit there for a moment before continuing, “I know that you don’t. Clearly you’ve made yourself an enviable life here. I can see that you’re happy. But, I thought you’d like to know just the same. And with your brother feeling the way he is… he may not tell you things the way I just did. But, again, I just thought it was important for you to know.”

“Thanks mom, I’m glad you told me.”

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your favorite thing about your new life?” Maybe she was changing the subject, maybe she really wanted to know…

He was quiet for a while, trying to think of the answer. It didn’t come to him right away.

Sam and Jess strolled by and said they were going to change. Dean hadn’t realized the sun was setting, but the last of the heat of day was gone now.

“I’m going to change too,” said Mary as she got up from her seat and handed Dean her empty bottle.

As she turned to leave him he said, “Cas.”

She looked at him questioningly.

“My favorite thing… about my new life… it’s him. It’s that I’m doing it with him.”

“He’s the one then?”

“Yeah, he is.”

 

 

 

It was dark when they navigated into the harbor and tied up to the dock. The motors cut off and Cas turned the music down to compensate. He stopped in the galley to grab the meat and headed to the back deck where everyone was chatting.

Cas got the grill fired up and the meat going, then offered refills to everyone. When he returned from the bar, he passed out the drinks and settled comfortably next to Dean. He loved seeing everyone, but their little reunion was making him ache with missing Anna.

Dean seemed to sense his mood and shifted closer, wrapping a comforting arm around his shoulder. They all sat cozy on the deck while the food cooked and listened intently while Sam and Jess told the story of how they’d met. Obviously, her version was different than Sam’s. Funnier too.

When the food was close to ready, Dean and Cas went down to the kitchen to carry up the rest of what they needed. The family sat around the table on the deck and ate Cas’ barbeque chicken for dinner. They talked about what Mary had been up to with her friends, how Sam was learning to do his grunt work at the firm in his ‘shitty little office’ and getting his first case. Dean and Cas told a few funny stories about their happenings as well.

Everybody seemed to be enjoying the chance to get caught up, but having flown today and swam so much, the visitors were quick to get tired… especially Mary. She headed for bed shortly after dinner. Sam and Jess tried to hang in for a while but they drooped quickly too.

Once they’d headed off to bed, Dean and Cas pulled out their duffel bags that were tucked in a corner of the salon and used the little guest bath that they’d never used before, to get ready for bed.

They could only be one at a time in the bathroom – it was small. So when Dean finished and plopped down on the couch next to Cas, the man had already chosen a program to watch.

They sat together for a short minute before Cas got up to take his turn in the bathroom. Dean got up with him and grabbed the sheets and pillows they’d bought and went about making the couch as comfy as possible.

Dean expected them to settle in as they had the other night… heads at opposite ends and legs folded together in the middle. But when Cas returned from the bathroom, he pulled himself up to Deans chest and settled in. Dean planted a kiss to the top of his head and asked what was wrong.

“What makes you think something is wrong?” Cas asked him quietly.

“Cause you’re not some guy I just met in a club tonight…” he laughed, “I know you. Now, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just miss Anna.” He said relaxing into Deans hold.

Dean hadn’t even thought of it. He felt like a turd for not.

“I didn’t realize how much I was missing her until now.” Said Cas forlornly.

Dean tightened his arms around the man and they hunkered down for the night.

 

Sore necks and backs were the price for their night on the couch. They took it in stride, downing Ibuprofen with their orange juice in the morning as they knocked around the kitchen together making breakfast for their family.

Mary was the first to enter the kitchen and they put a plate and coffee in front of her. Dean joined her to eat while Cas continued making pancakes.

“So,” asked Mary between bites, “What’s on the agenda for today?”

“I think we’ll start with a tour of the resort.” Smiled Dean.

“Excellent, I’ve been dying to get a look at these tree houses since we first watched the tree house show on your couch… before you even moved down here!” she enthused.

As they were talking, Sam and Jess ambled in. Sam plunked down at the table next to Dean and Jess went over to stand by Cas as he turned flapjacks. She squealed delightfully when he turned a palm tree shaped pancake onto her plate with a grin.

Eyeing Jess’ plate Sam asked, “Can you make a fish for me Cas?”

 

After breakfast, they headed out into the resort. They made a loop on the main road that circled the property – much like Cas and Dean had done hundreds of times before. Except this time, they stopped at each point of interest, showing their family what they’d been building for the last year.

They stopped first at the biggest natural lake on the property. The equipment rental hut here was not stocked yet, but the building was almost finished… lights turned off and on when the switches were flicked.

They stopped at the point too. They looked over the sand volleyball courts, the tiki bar, the security office… the lifeguard platform. From there, they walked down the beach a ways. Both Mary and Jess were very vocal in their appreciations of the beauty of the beach. As they walked, the first of the tree houses became visible. This was a unit that neither Dean or Cas had seen yet either so it was new to all of them when they climbed up the ladder and onto the large porch that looked out over the ocean. The view of the beach was fantastic, and as they moved into the unit Dean was surprised (as he’d been when he toured his own unit) by how civil the accommodations were.

It was so clearly a tree house. The trunk of the huge tree was the dominating feature of the room and even though the space was on the small side for the price they’d be charging for these beachfront units… the ambiance was undeniable. The salty air blew in through the windows and there was so much natural light that you really felt like you were still outside. Branches stretched outside each window and the scurrying of tree creatures was frequent as they moved over the roof or scuttled by outside a window.

The chorus of birds was like a soft record playing constantly in the background and you could hear the waves rolling in on the beach below. It was magic.

Closer inspection revealed the air conditioning unit, the mini fridge, the TV. These conveniences could be found when your eyes scoured for them but at a glance… nature was what you saw. Everywhere you looked.

They climbed back down and Dean had figured they’d head back to the jeep. But Jess ran to the next unit, laughing, with Sam at her heels. Mary was walking with Dean and Cas and when they arrived at the second treehouse, Jess leaned over the railing.

“Are they all different?”

“Yes,” Dean answered, “to some degree. Cas and I haven’t even seen them all yet.”

She was already scrambling back down the ladder when they reached it and heading for the next one. Sam gave them a shrug and followed after her.

Mary followed her too and Dean looked at Cas with a shrug. They bumped shoulders and exchanged a smile as they followed behind.

Soon, they were simply strolling the beach with Mary while Sam and Jess ran from house to house. Eventually, they bounded up to the boys and Jess asked, “How many more are there?”

“You mean here on the beach or total?” Dean clarified.

“Umm… okay, how many on the beach?”

“Fifty-five” answered Cas.

“Damn!” she marveled.

 “How far down does your section of the beach go?” Mary injected.

“Another mile, give or take.” Says Dean, unable to hide his pride, “See that building down there?” he asked her.

“Yes.”

“That’s the other tiki bar. It Marks the end of the beach-front tree houses. You guys ready to head back to the jeep?”

“Sure,” said Mary in a daze, “I hadn’t realized the scope of what you were building… I just… I guess I pictured it smaller. I’m not sure why. I knew you bought a large piece of land.”

Dean wrapped his arm around her neck with a wide grin and said, “Mom – you aint seen nothin’ yet!”

Once they were back in the jeep - Jess and Cas assumed Cas’ normal position – standing with a hip braced against the roll bar. They only went about fifty yards when Dean pulled the jeep off onto the shoulder.

Jess was squealing again as they moved toward a tree with a small spiral staircase built around its trunk. Cas had his camera at the ready and followed behind Jess as she exuberantly clambered up the staircase, rounding the tree trunk three times. When she reached the top, they were up about twenty feet.

Jess and Sam spared a moment to stare back down at the jeep and then ran out onto the rope bridge that connected their current platform to the next. At the next platform was another staircase. It wrapped around the trunk of a much bigger tree. They ascended upward again, circling the tree trunk and when they reached the top, they were another fifteen feet higher. From here, Jess began to see the treehouses. The jungle had been significantly thinned out in this area for the tree houses but it was still thick enough that you couldn’t see far. Usually, about a half dozen houses were visible at a time.

Jess and Sam were holding hands as they moved out into the network of bridges that connected these. Some were higher and some were lower. The farther you walked, the more of them you could see ahead of you and the ones behind faded back into jungle.

They were shaded in the canopy and it was teeming with life. Bird song was the baseline and the louder calls of individual birds as they swooped and fluttered from roost to roost came from all around them.

It was fun. They didn’t even go into any of these dwellings. They were just moving through… the way a tourist moves through the shopping district, glancing in the windows of the local stores.

As they went along, Dean told Mary about the basic features when they popped up. Stopping for a moment to show her how the dumbwaiters worked.

“See, mom? When the cleaning crew comes through, they pair up. One up top and one on the ground with a vehicle. The ground person gets the supplies and puts them in the dumbwaiter, pulling here to get the basket up there. Then the upper person makes the beds and then sends down the laundry and trash. They go from room to room like that. It keeps anyone from having to go up and down. It will keep their time efficient.”

“Dean that’s brilliant.” She gaped, “It’s so well thought out!”

Just as they were speaking, Jess and Sam stumbled onto the ‘Tree Top Café’.

Mary jogged forward in her excitement to see what Jess was hollering about.

Cas and Dean looped arms around each other’s necks as they watched Mom, Jess and Sam gape at the magnitude of their tree top restaurant. Dean leaned in and kissed Cas on his stubbly cheek, bursting with pride as everyone gushed over their restaurant. It was really just an afterthought. But it had been a good one.

As Dean pulled away from Cas, he caught his brother quickly looking away. He realized, belatedly, that his brother was new to seeing him and Cas as a couple. He wondered if seeing him kiss Cas had grossed his brother out.

They moved on, further into the jungle and passing more and more units. “How many are there total?” Mary asked them.

“One hundred and six – including the suites.” Cas answered her.

“There are suites?”

“Yep.” replied Dean smugly, “next to the spa.”

“You have a spa?” said Jess incredulously.

 

When they’d reached the far end of the ‘ewok village’ they ambled back toward the jeep. “I want to quit my job and move here!” sighed Jess as she mooned over everything.

“We understand,” the boys laughed. “You guys want to see our unit?” Dean asked.

“Hell yeah!” Sam answered.

They moved back across the network of rope bridges and decks and poured back down the steps near the jeep, climbing in and driving another hundred yards or so. They pulled over again and Dean led them down a footpath toward the beach. As they climbed up the ladder, Dean watched his mother notice the carving in the tree… DW + CM. He wondered if she thought it was sweet or stupid. When he caught her eye he saw his answer. Of course she’d think it was sweet. She was as big a romantic as anyone he knew.

His mind flashed to the day he’d come out to her, remembering the way she’d completely skipped over any concerns about his lifestyle and forwarded straight to, “My baby boy’s in love!”

Yep. Mary Winchester was a pretty amazing lady.

 

Their next stop was at the resort pool. It was almost done. The lights weren’t hooked up yet, or the sound and there was no water in it. But even from twenty paces it was clear that it would impress. They’d designed it to look like part of the jungle, large rocks and plants and trees were very naturally positioned around it and there were stone outcroppings of rock for jumping off of and a winding lazy river that ended at the swim up bar. It was easy to tell that by the time the landscapers were done… it would be very difficult to tell where the real jungle ended and the fake one began.

 

They were back in the jeep before long and pulling over to walk down to the Lagoon side beach area. Dean explained what all the buildings were for – the IT center with its tall antennae and satellite dishes mounted to it was a point of interest. Jess loved the way the beach area had a little bar and restaurant as well as equipment rentals.

The resort, over all, was at an odd stage. Some areas looked finished… tables and chairs in place, lights on and refrigerators running with cold drinks inside. Then in other areas… there weren’t even windows installed yet.

Dean lead them out to the front of the Jet-ski rental building and pointed up to show them the platform that jutted out from the roof. Then he looked straight at Jess and said, “Anyone want to try the zip line?”

Jess and Sam were both enthusiastic. Mary was looking… uncertain? Cas dropped his arm around her shoulder and said she didn’t have to go if she didn’t want to. Dean watched from behind them, knowing that Mary would go.

They walked the winding trail up the hill and as they crossed the road, the guests looked up at the windmill and water tower for the first time.

“It’s incredible...” stammered Mary, “That video didn’t do it justice!”

They followed the trail up the steep hill toward the windmill base. It was broken every fifty feet or so with a set of wooden stairs. Once they’d reached the base of the windmill, they moved toward the large wooden structure that resembled the steps leading up to most waterslides at amusement parks. They stopped a few times to rest on a platform and see how far they’d come.

When they reached the top, Dean and Cas watched with wide smiles as Sam, Jess and Mary stood slack jawed and gaping as the arms of the windmill whooshed by them, cutting through the air, feeling like they were close enough to touch.

Cas went first, so he could man the lower platform. Watching him go, Dean smiled and thrust up his middle finger at his man. Cas returned a ‘bird’ to Dean as he slipped away.

“Who’s goin’ first?” he asked the group.

“Me!” squealed Jess, jumping up and stepping forward to let Dean slide a harness on her.

“You should be ashamed, Sam, letting your woman beat you to the punch… she gonna have to catch ya at the end too?”

“Shut up Jerk!” he smiled at Dean, enjoying slipping back into their old banter.

“Bitch!” Dean countered, barely holding back his smile.

When Jess was in the harness, Dean peered over the edge to see if Cas was ready on the next platform. Getting a thumbs up he said to Jess, “Make sure you scream like a girl so Sam doesn’t have to feel bad when he does!” he grinned at her and then thumped her on the back.

She leapt out off the edge with her feet out in front and let out a scream of pure delight as she flew out over the sea of banana plants beneath her. Dean and Sam watched her go.

As Sam was getting into his gear, Dean was thinking about Jess.

There was something about her… he couldn’t place it. But she had what Cas had - that spark, that zest for life that was infectious. It made you want to be near them. Dean was guessing that most people would probably call it charisma. But it was more – so much more. He could see why his brother loved this woman.

She was a force of nature and an undeniable fit for Sam. She would keep him on his toes and keep him enjoying life. She’d also keep him from taking himself too seriously, which Dean knew was one of Sam’s biggest hang-ups. She was good for him.

“How long have you two been together?” Dean asked his brother as he clipped his harness to the line.

“Not long,” he replied, “um... maybe six weeks?”

“Damn,” said Dean, “I would’ve guessed longer. You guys seem so… in sync.”

“We are.” Said Sam and then he vaulted away… screaming like a girl.

“Alright mom… keep quiet on the way down and embarrass your other son for me okay?”

She grinned at him as he buckled her in. Everyone on the lower platform was catcalling to Mary as she set out. She stepped daintily off the platform and took the plunge, landing well on the second platform.

Dean smiled as he followed after her.

From the second platform they took the “chicken out” steps down to the Ski Rental building. No one had suits on. But Dean promised they’d come back here later and make sure everyone got a turn.

Their last stop on the tour was the employee apartment building. It was the most chaotic place they’d been. They’d seen a few workers about as they made their round today, but here was the bulk of the work that was being done on their property.

Each of them got a hard hat from Miguel when they introduced him and then they embarked on a tour of the facilities on the first floor and looked at the model apartment that had been used to show perspective employees what a finished apartment would look like.

Again, Mary was impressed. Jess was excited. Sam was surprised. Dean and Cas were just proud. They hopped back in the jeep and showed their guests the pavilion, fire pit and beach area that was for employees only and the cottages that would house executive level employees.

By the time they were back at the yacht it was past time for lunch. The boys prepared something simple while everyone gathered around Jess who was playing ‘bar tender’ and having a great time. With strange concoctions in their hands, everyone sat down to a simple lunch and then changed into suits.

The family spent the remainder of the afternoon in the cool clear waters of the lagoon, snorkeling and taking turns vaulting from the second platform into the water again and again.

Dean and Cas grilled steaks for dinner and threw inner tubes and rafts over the side after. All of them were enjoying floating around in the early evening’s soft, hazy sunlight and listening to the music playing from the sound system on the yacht.

Jess kept everyone in drinks. Dean kept an eye on Sam… waiting for him to close his eyes and relax on his inner tube long enough… then he slipped up and turned that fucker over into the water!

And that became the new game for the evening. No one was safe. It was awesome.

They all slept well that night, exhausted from the days’ activities. But, Dean and Cas had resigned themselves to separate couches… just for a better shot at not waking up with an ‘all day neck twinge’.

The next day, they took the yacht back out onto open water and pulled away from shore… straight east to show their guests the only local snorkeling. It was a pittance compared to the reefs around Roatan, but the boys planned on just shuttling groups over there for the better snorkeling and billing the tour as a “Yacht party plus snorkeling.”

While they were out sunning on the small sandbar, Mary had a suggestion.

“Why don’t you make this a kid’s excursion?  You can sink a fake treasure chest and a few other things that kids would think are cool. You’ve got this sand bar nearby… it’s not that deep. You could call it ‘Pirates Cove’ or something and give the kids snorkel gear and just let them explore!”

Dean and Cas stared at each other for a second and then burst into smiles, instantly loving the idea.

“I told you!” said Dean to Cas, “this is why I made that list! She’s excellent with the ideas!”

He looked at Mary, “I have a list of other problems and crap that I need you to give me genius answers for and I almost forgot about it.” He laughed.

They stayed up late that night, brainstorming with Mary after Sam and Jess had gone to bed. She was a big help; offering them an outsider’s point of view for things and giving them suggestions. Some of it was helpful and some was not. But Dean was loving having her around and he hung on her every word.

When she’d gone to bed, Cas asked Dean if he felt like a walk. Dean took one look at Cas and knew… he grabbed a nearby bottle of suntan oil and they stepped off the yacht and walked up the pier together.

“…it’s been too long Cas” sighed Dean as they moved into the tree line across from the marina.

“I know,” whispered Cas as he put strong hands on Deans hips and guided the man toward a wide tree trunk. “I keep looking at you on that damned couch. You’re so close but I can’t touch you… not like I want to anyway.”

“You can touch me now,” Dean challenged him, “make it rough, man, I wanna feel it in the morning.”

“You’ll feel it,” Cas said gruffly as he jerked Deans shorts down to his ankles, “give you something to feel besides a stiff damn neck in the morning,” he husked in Deans ear as he reached around pulled Deans dick out. It was already hard… had been since he reached for the tanning oil.

Dean put his palms to the tree trunk and spread his legs – kicking his shorts off his ankle and pushing his ass back towards Cas. “C’mon man… hurry up. Need you,” he complained as Cas was pulling off his shirt and shucking his shorts.

He chuckled at Dean’s exuberance and slapped his firm ass with an open palm. Hard. The sharp sound cut through the dark jungle. As usual, the night creatures quieted to listen, to watch.

Dean, tired of waiting, took his cock in his hand and began jacking himself.

When Cas saw what Dean was doing he pulled his palm back and laid a very hard smack on Deans soft ass cheek. “Don’t touch that, it’s mine!” growled Cas. “If you touch yourself again tonight, I’ll use the belt on you.”

Dean’s pulse quickened hearing the threat and he smiled against the bark of the tree and stuck his ass out further – needing his man. His back arched and his knees bent – wanting, waiting. “Cas!” he barked.

Just when he thought he couldn’t take it anymore, he felt two cool and slippery fingers see-sawing back and forth over his puckered hole. He let out a sigh of relief and looked down at his huge cock, bobbing slowly beneath him as he canted his hips back into Cas’ fingers for more.

“I don’t need it man… I don’t. Just get in me Cas. Just fucking fuck me already!”

Cas squeezed more oil into his hand and coated his own thick cock with it. He stroked it and then looked down at it. He could barely see it in the dark, but watched carefully as the shadow of it pushed into Dean. He didn’t go slowly, he didn’t give Dean a minute to adjust. He fucked in hard and fast and grabbed a fistful of Dean’s hair – it had gotten so long!

He pulled back with his fistful of hair and brought Deans chin up toward the sky so he could suck on the man’s neck as he thrust in hard.

“S’good Cas, so good.” Dean whispered. “But don’t mark me… moms here.” He said quietly.

Cas pulled his mouth off Deans skin and put it to Deans ear. “As soon as they’re gone – I’m putting my mouth on you.” He said as he thrust into Dean’s tight heat, “Gonna suck that fat cock of yours til you scream my name,” he said as he thrust in again.

Dean cried out from the force of his thrusts. He pushed back, just to hold himself up against the onslaught. His hole was stretched tight and it burned. Burned so much that tears were gathering in the corners of his eyes – but he needed it too desperately to ask Cas to stop or slow.

Instead, he encouraged him on – pushed back into him and shouted for Cas to fuck him harder. He reached for his aching cock and began to jack himself off. Immediately his ass was being slapped again; sharply. “I told you that’s mine!” He growled at Dean.

“Then fuckin’ do somethin’ with it man!” Dean bit back.

Cas’ oily hand snaked around in front of Dean and gripped him tightly, pulling pleasure down from high in his stomach and erasing the burn in his ass and replacing it with the gathering of electricity. The lightning strikes from Cas’ pounding dick coupled together with the squeeze of his hand into a swirling undulation of relentless and overwhelming pleasure. “That’s it…” Dean said in a low voice, “that’s what I needed, Oh yeah Cas. Fuck me like that.”

Dean was building from lower now… knees bent and back arched to the point of pain… giving Cas all access and holding nothing back. He loved how this felt as he rocked forward into Cas’ tight fist and back onto that glorious part of Cas that reached far enough inside him to find his most secret place and thump it – again and again – lighting him up inside and making him want to drop to his knees.

“Fuck Cas! Fuck!” Dean called out as his man pounded into him. He cried out loudly and so did Cas as he filled Dean up and fucked through it, his forehead coming to rest between Deans shoulder blades. As he pushed in one last time and swiveled his hips to milk his last, he felt Dean’s wet juices spill out over the back of his hand. Over their breathing he heard a few heavy drops plop onto the wide leaves they stood over on the floor of the jungle.

Both men leaned forward and exhaled deeply as they rested against the tree – Deans back to Cas’ front.

Dean felt cas slide out of him and let his legs stay apart. He hated the feeling of all that Cas had shot into him leaking out onto the ground. He wanted a plug.  Wanted to keep it in. But, this was a quick and secret fuck. They’d get the toys back out when their company left.

And this… this little secret fuck stolen at the edge of the trees… this would have to last until then. When their breathing had slowed, they pulled their shorts back on, sweaty and weak in the knees and staggered back down the dock and onto the yacht.

As they moved together through the darkened boat, a silhouette moving on the deck startled them.

“It’s just my brother,” said Dean. “I’ll see if he needs anything and be right in.” he told Cas.

 

“What are you doing out here in the dark like a vampire?” asked Dean laughing.

“Well,” said Sam turning toward Dean and revealing the red ember of a lit joint, “I couldn’t sleep and came out for a smoke. Then I heard this terrifying noise coming from the trees..,” he began laughing to Dean’s chagrin, “And I realized I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t sleep,” he finished.

Dean knew they’d been busted. He felt kind of bad about it too. He’d felt bad enough for even kissing in front of his brother – not wanting to gross him out. Now his poor brother had been standing out here for an innocent smoke and had to hear…

_Oh God! What did I say? Did he hear me beggin’ to be fucked harder? Shit. Shit. Shit._

“Relax Dean,” he said as his laughter calmed down, “You didn’t say anything I haven’t said.”

_Wow._

Sam passed Dean the joint. Dean inhaled like he hadn’t smoked in a year. Because he hadn’t. “Damn that’s good!” he said quietly. “You brought that on the plane? Into Honduras?”

“It was an accident. I forgot it in the pocket of the shirt I put on this morning… found it when I got dressed today.”

They leaned against the back rail, looking out over the harbor as they enjoyed the smoke.

“This all you got?” Dean asked him.

“Yep.”

“Cas!” Dean shouted over his shoulder. “Dude, you wanna come out here!”

Sam chuckled.

Cas emerged onto the deck in his sleep pants, tanned bare chest looking spectacular in the moonlight and immediately smelled what was up and stepped to Dean’s side.

“Oh yeah,” moaned Cas as he pulled it to his lips and inhaled.

“Oh goodie,” snarked Sam jokingly, “An encore.”

Dean chuckled and Cas looked at Dean like a deer caught in headlights. Dean just winked at him and waited for Cas to pass the joint.

The three of them continued to pass it around until it was too small and burning their finger-tips before Sam threw the last of it overboard. Cas begged off politely, leaving Dean and his brother on the deck in the quiet night. Buzzed and comfortable.

“Dean? I have so much shit to say to you… I don’t even know where to start.”

“Pick the two most important. The rest we can leave alone.” He said firmly.

“I was a douche. The worst kind of fucking asshole.”

“Okay Sam, I should’ve been more specific. Tell me two things I don’t already know.”

The brothers laughed together – even though the topic was serious.

“You know what Sam, wait. Forget the two things. I have a question.”

Dean watched Sam nod slowly and continued, “Before I was fired… you were already mad at me for something. When I asked you about it; you wouldn’t tell me. What was that about?”

“You and Cas.”

“You knew?”

“Yep.” He said, heavily popping the “P”.

“How?”

“Saw how you looked at him. How you guys touched each other. There was something there. I wasn’t sure right away… but one day I saw you guys talking and it was just so clear. From across the yard I could see it. And it fucking pissed me off that you’d kept it from me.” He said firmly, turning to bring his eyes to meet Deans for the first time. “Why? Why did you keep it from me?”

“Fear.” Answered Dean honestly.

“You were afraid of me?”

“Yeah. I thought you’d see me as… less?”

“But you’re my big brother…”

“I’m sorry. I should have told you.”

“Yeah. Well. If I’d been in on that… I might’ve voted differently. I was just so fucking mad at you. I really wanted to stick it to ya for shutting me out.”

“Well… mission accomplished.” Dean smiled wryly.

“I’m sorry, Dean. It was so stupid. I really hadn’t thought it through. I was just so fucking angry…  I couldn’t see anything else.”

“I was angry too.” Said Dean, “angry that he was gone. You were too… we both were. That was probably part of it.”

“Maybe.”

“So you voted to have me fired as revenge for not telling you that I’d been seeing Cas.”

“Basically.”

“Mom says you weren’t mad at me at all this past year. She says all the silent treatment you gave us was because you felt like I wouldn’t forgive you for it. Any truth to that?”

“Yeah Dean. There’s a lot of truth to it. I thought about it after… a lot. I was sorry before I even got to my car that day. But when I realized what I’d really done to you… I couldn’t imagine how I’d feel in your place. I couldn’t imagine forgiving you if you’d done it to me. So I couldn’t imagine you forgiving me.”

“All this time… I thought you hated me… for what I did… what I was…”

“No Dean. Just… no.”

“Sam, I forgave you a long time ago man.  It’s over for me. I’m happy in my new life. And now, my brothers back in my life. I’m not gonna lie. I’ll never forget that it happened, but I forgive you for it. And I’m ok.”

“I think I can sleep now,” said Sam.

“Me too.” Dean said as he pushed away from the railing, “And I’m sorry for umm… you know… earlier. I felt bad that you saw me kiss him the other day – definitely didn’t mean for you to hear all you heard.”

“Like I said Dean, it’s fine.” He put an arm around his big brother as they walked inside, “Don’t worry about how you guys act in front of me – I’m fine with it. Really.”

“Thanks. Nite Sam.”

“Nite Dean.”


	27. Dirty Little Secrets

When Sam crawled in next to Jess, she didn’t wake. But her body seemed to sense him and seek out the warmth of his arms. He ran a hand over her soft hair on the pillow and pushed it upward, out of the way so he could lay his head near hers without it tickling his face.

As he drifted off slowly, he considered his brother and Cas. His mind kept replaying Dean’s statement over and over… “I thought that you would see me as… less.”

For some reason, that stuck in his throat. It was odd that he should fixate on that one tiny detail after they’d said so many more important things.

Sam tried to focus his mind on Dean’s assertion that he was over what had happened, had moved on and was happy in his new life. Anyone with eyes could see it was true. Dean and Cas had built a paradise here – and they clearly loved it. Loved each other. It was all over both of them.

Sam knew he’d changed a lot while he and Dean weren’t speaking… things were so different now. His way of thinking was different. He wondered if Dean could tell.

He’d certainly noticed the changes in Dean. His brother was more confident now. As Sam had grown up – he’d always thought of Dean as confident. But in hindsight, seeing Dean through Max’s eyes, he knew it had been false. It was just posturing… bravado. Dean was a top.

Cas was a bottom. That was obvious too. The man’s calm and quiet surety gave him away. He was confident… he was attentive to those around him… he worked _with_ Dean… devoted and supportive.

Sam smiled as he teetered on the edge of comfortable sleep. Dean and Cas would go the distance – he could tell. They were well matched to each other and so very much in love.

He tightened his grip on Jess a little, certain that they were also in this for the long haul. He’d known right away that this was the person he’d been waiting to meet.

All this time – all those fucks – he’d just been biding his time and waiting for this one person to come into his life. Sam thought back on all the women he’d fell for in some way between childhood and now.

On some level he’d known he was waiting for one special lady… even thought he’d found the one a few times before. But those had been nothing but false alarms. Jess was the one he’d been waiting for.

He thought of his future as a house now. With him and Jess as the strong foundation – they’d build a home, fill it with a family. It would be an adventure, he was sure. And he looked forward to it.

 

 

 

When the morning sun broke on their last day with company, Dean threw back his blanket and willed his morning wood to calm the fuck down. It wouldn’t. He looked over at Cas, lightly sleeping on the other couch and let his hand trail down his chest to his rock hard dick. He gave it a few lazy tugs and contemplated just jerking in the shower. But the view here was so much nicer – his lover sprawled out across the sofa with his lips parted, relaxed in sleep.

The boat was quiet. No one was up or moving yet so Dean continued to stroke himself slow and easy and watch Cas.

Dean was watching as the man’s eyelids fluttered and then slipped open. He held his breath waiting as Cas took in the morning sun and his own tented blanket and reached a hand down to his package. His eyes swept over the room and met Deans.

They watched each other for a heavy, distended moment as they stroked themselves. Then Cas spoke, in a rough and rumbling voice, “Shower?”

“It’ll be tight in there.” Dean said quietly.

“Don’t care,” said Cas, still holding himself firmly as he walked toward the little guest bath which contained only a small square ‘one person’ half-shower.  Cas paused as he passed by Dean and tipped his head: an invitation to join.

Dean rolled off the couch and followed his lover into the tiny little bathroom. Cas had the water on already when Dean came through the door.

Cramped was no joke. There was absolutely nowhere for their elbows to go, but they made it work. They twined themselves together and took each other’s dicks in slick, soapy hands, stroking firmly for each other while trading lazy good-morning kisses.

When they’d come – as quietly as possible – Dean stepped out to shave and brushed his teeth while Cas shampooed his hair. Once Cas was done in the shower, they traded places and Cas bent over the sink while Dean lathered up in the shower.

They made another hearty breakfast for their family that morning. It was the last day… and last night they’d asked their guests what they’d like to do for their last day. It had been determined that they’d head for the big island today and spend the afternoon snorkeling on the reef.

Cas and Dean planned to tie up in the marina that night – then drive to the capital in the morning and return their family to the airport there. It would save them a turbo prop ride over the Honduran countryside that no one would enjoy.

Once they were finished eating, Dean untied them and Cas navigated out of the harbor. Dean stood by his man until they were in open water. Then he patted the man’s ass as he left and thanked him for driving so much during his families visit.

Out on deck he found Sam, Jess and Mary already in their suits and putting on tan lotion. Mary had never been so tanned. She looked incredible. She looked a decade younger and she glowed. Dean was no fool. He knew that glow was mostly from her happiness at seeing her boys back together. The beautiful tan simply drew attention to it.

Jess had darkened too while they’d been here. Dean moved to the bar and began making blender drinks again. He’d never let anyone know that his preference had started shifting from whiskey to rum. As long as the girls were here… he had his excuse to enjoy the sweet tropical flavors without judgement.

Sam disentangled himself from Jess and moved to the bar with Dean. He picked up the knife that was laying out on a little plastic cutting board and began slicing the oranges and pineapple that were sitting out.

“You’re spoiling us,” said Sam to Dean with a lopsided grin, “I’m starting to get a taste for this froofy shit.”

Dean chuckled as he tossed berries into the blender and buried them in smooth white rum. “Your secret’s safe with me.” He grinned.

“I was thinking…” began Sam.

Dean interrupted, “Well cut that shit out. No thinking today Sam.”

“Listen Dean.” he said firmly, “You’re not less to me because of Cas.” He said firmly, deep brown eyes locked intently on his older brother, “You’re more.”

Dean looked up at him, questioning.

“It takes balls to step away from what people are expecting of you. Especially dad. You know how he was… it couldn’t have been easy telling him.”

Sam turned to look over at the girls and then back to his brother, “It can’t be easy living here either. I googled it you know… this isn’t just the murder capital of the world… it’s a place where it’s not especially safe to be living an open lifestyle. The police don’t really prosecute hate crimes against gays here. People are pretty free to do what they want and know they’ll probably get away with it…” Sam said earnestly, “As far as I’m concerned… you’ve got balls of solid steel. And I admire you for being what you want to be in spite of it all. In spite of me, and dad, and all the other challenges you’ve faced… for him.”

When Dean looked up at him, Sam saw gratitude in his brother’s eyes. He’d finally said the last of what he truly needed to say to Dean. The thing that Dean most needed to hear… even if his brother hadn’t really known it.

“He’s worth it Sam.”

“Yeah,” Sam said quietly while he watched Jess with his mother, “I can see that.”

“She’s the one isn’t she?” Dean asked his brother – effortlessly changing topics.

“Yeah. I’m gonna marry that girl Dean.”

Dean moved around the bar and took the girls the drinks he’d just made. Then he moved back to where Sam was still seated on a bar stool. He poured two more – emptying the blender into glasses and handed one to his brother. Then he moved back around the bar again, seating himself next to Sam and staring out at the ladies as he spoke.

“If she’s really the one… then I have some ‘big brother’ things to tell you Sam.”

“Bring it on.”

“Okay. You have to forget everything I ever taught you… either on purpose or by accident.” He laughed, taking a drink, “You fuck no one… you lay hands on no one… you never, ever, ever touch anyone but her.”

“Got it Dean.”

“I mean it Sam. If you’re ever even considering it… take a minute and imagine your life without her. Cause when she finds out… you will be. And they always find out Sam. Always.”

“Yeah Dean, I’ve got it. I’m not what I used to be. I’m loyal to her, ok?”

“Ok. But that’s not all.”

“What else?” Sam asked him, sipping and continuing to avoid eye contact, watching Mary and Jess on deck.

“If she’s the one, then that’s how you treat her. You tell her everything. Even the things you don’t want her to know. You trust her with your weaknesses, your shame, all of it. Tell her the secrets – never keep anything from her. And never even consider the possibility of separating. She’s it for you. Forever. You have to decide that. Firmly. Then live it. If you can do that… you’ll be happier than you’ve ever been. If not… you’ll lose her one day.”

Sam looked over at his brother and realized that these were words spoken from the heart. Everything he’d just told Sam to do were things he had done with Cas. A small shiver went up his back as he heard his brothers words echo again… “tell her everything… weakness… shame…”

He knew his brother was right. He’d already trusted her with a lot. But there was more she needed to know about him. And he’d have to tell her. Maybe not today, but soon. Dean was right. There could be no secrets between them.

“Good advice, Dean.” he said, slapping his big brother on the shoulder, “I will follow it.” He said as he slid off his bar stool, moving out of the shadow of the bar and into the sunlight on deck.

“Sam.” Dean said firmly, stopping his brother in his tracks, “remember…” Dean broke out into a wide grin, “If you don’t cheat… you can’t get caught!”

They exchanged a chuckle and then Dean watched his brother move to sit with his girl and his mom.

Before long, they were all in the water again. It was early afternoon, so they had to tolerate the crowds at the reef. But they slowly made their way down – seeing that entire section. Then they climbed back on the boat and motored over to another section they hadn’t seen yet – sliding back into the water to see more.

The area was alive with sea critters. There was nothing they didn’t see that day… all manner of fish, all kinds of coral and reef life. They floated past anemones, urchins, gorgonians, rays and even a few small reef sharks.

Dean and Cas stayed shoulder to shoulder for most of it – following behind Sam and Jess who kept close behind Mary. Her curiosity had kept her out in front and pulling them along as she moved from one exciting find to another.

When they flopped back onto the swim platform, exhausted, the boys put on some music and grilled burgers on the deck. Everyone ate ravenously and then, as the crowds thinned out in the late afternoon, they got their second wind and hit the water again.

Now that there were fewer people, the need to stick together was lessened and Dean and Cas found some time to just swim together alone, elbow to elbow.

Dean pulled Cas down a few times, plunging them into the deeper, cooler water and spinning them to churn up a torrent of bubbles, mouth pieces dangling while they kissed beneath surface and slowly floated back to the top… lost in the magic of the underwater kingdom around them.

As dusk descended, they pulled up anchor and headed towards land. Once docked, they settled on deck in the moonlight just watching the few boats coming and going. It was fairly quiet. They ate again before bed, moving inside to sit around the table where they ended up playing cards until they surrendered to exhaustion.

“I don’t want to go home,” said Jess softly as Sam pulled her to her feet.

“Me either,” he said quietly as they joined hands and headed for their room.

Mary begged off shortly after and Dean and Cas moved around together as they cleaned up the kitchen and put away everything on the deck.

“Our last night on the couch” smiled Dean as they tucked in together to watch TV. Neither man moved to the other couch to get comfortable when they started falling asleep. They settled in together, chin to cheek and enjoyed the warm bubble of contentment that encompassed them as they lay together.

There were a few moments where Dean could swear he heard something from Sam and Jess’ room. They turned up the TV a bit and tried not to listen. Despite his best efforts, Dean fell asleep with his hand curled around Cas’ package, soft and warm in his hand.

 

Saying good-bye to Mary had been hard, but the visit had been all that he could’ve hoped for. Having Sam and Jess along had made it even more wonderful. They all promised not to let too much time go by before seeing each other again and gave firm, warm hugs as they parted.

Cas and Dean moved back onto the yacht alone… and went straight to their room.

 

 

 

Sam spent most of the return flight thinking of his brothers words. It was easy to follow the advice about being loyal to Jess… he already was. It was easy to imagine her for life and no others. Not a problem. But he’d bared so much weakness to her already… he didn’t want to overwhelm her and risk having her second guess her commitment to him.

He thought carefully about what things he needed to tell her… and in what order… and how long he could wait in between. He knew that he’d need to clear all the skeletons from his closet before they could be married.

It was a daunting task… to line up his sins and try to prioritize them. It gave him an outsider’s view to the life he’d lived so far. He had more to be ashamed of then he cared to admit.

But, when they’d said good-bye to Mary at the airport and headed to the car, he had a pretty good idea of what he’d be telling his girl. He was sure she was committed enough to hear it all… and he trusted her to stay with him.

As he slid into the driver’s seat, he had to remind himself that she may have some things to come clean to him about too. He promised himself firmly that he would be as open to her secrets as he hoped that she would be for his.

 

 

 

The next day, Dean and Cas got back to their routine. They had a lot to deal with that had piled up while they’d been relaxing with family. But they also had a sense of calm that stemmed from being well rested over their time off.

They split up that morning, each in their own jeep and began working through their lists of phone calls and emails as they moved around the resort putting out fires and answering questions.

That evening, they settled in the office on borrowed plastic chairs and worked on getting paperwork caught up.

Cas was going to need Deans presence over the next week for interviews with potential executive staff so he moved his schedule around to suit the timeframes.

Then they moved into their pile of purchasing issues.

They were in the office til almost 3 am as they poured over the items they needed to buy and made tough choices about what was needed and how much to spend on things. They finally chose the model of Jet Ski that would be housed on the lagoon and settled on the number they’d purchase. They selected the model of ground vehicle that the resort staff would use. It was called a Gator. It was John Deere… bright green. But functional. The grounds custodians and maintenance men would use these. The housekeepers would too – with a wagon attached to the back for the supplies and laundry.

They piled over catalogs of furniture for the tree houses and wine glasses for the restaurants and even after hours on end… they’d only cracked the surface.

Last thing before they headed back to the yacht for the night… Dean sat at his laptop and moved all of his dividend money over to their business account, two years’ worth of it. So ended his ‘rainy day fund’.

But, they were bringing in no money yet and they were way over budget. Until the resort opened and they had some income? It was fucking raining.

 

As they each climbed into their respective jeeps to head back to the yacht – Dean checked his voicemail and hollered to Cas, “We’re getting’ more company!”

“Who’s coming now?” Cas asked him curiously.

“Charlie and Dorothy. We’re getting our first movie star, Cas!”

 

 

 

Sam laid in bed, waiting for Jess. It had been a few weeks since their trip and he’d been working up the nerve to drop a small bomb on her. She crawled into bed with him, lamps still on and pillows piled up behind them. 

“Here,” he said as he handed her a rum and coke, “Drink this… you’re gonna need it.”

 

 

 

In the weeks following Mary’s visit, Dean worked intently on a little side project whenever he had a stolen moment from the chaos that swirled around him daily. He’d started on it the day that Mary, Sam and Jess had left.

He’d called Anna and begged her to find the time to visit, explaining that Cas was homesick for her. She was busy… but knowing that her brother needed her was a motivation for her to find some time to visit. She was scheduled to arrive next week.

Dean and Cas had decided to do a ‘test run’ week of the resort. They’d operate it as if they were open for business… but there would be no paying guests. Only invited guests that they knew. That way the shortcomings of staff and operations wouldn’t be any big deal. It would give them a chance to work out the kinks.

As far as Cas knew… the invitation list included the two families that ran the Christopher Columbus in town, Charlie and Dorothy, Miguel’s family and the families of his crew as well as a few others. His man had no idea that Anna would be coming, and would be enjoying the ‘guest’ tree house adjacent to theirs.

Dean and Cas had divided their construction of the resort into two phases. Phase one was almost complete and included everything they’d built so far and getting staffed. After they were operating in the black… they’d begin phase two. The second phase would include the incorporation of a few new adventure excursions to be offered which they had no capacity to offer now, the houseboats that Cas had designed, and the purchase of an airplane.

Dean’s flying lessons thus far had been few and far between, but once the resort was opened his schedule would become lighter and more predictable and it would allow him time to pursue the pilot’s license with more ambition.

Getting a license to fly didn’t require much. Getting a license to fly passengers… was much more involved and required a huge time investment.

But, for now, they were focused on phase one of the resort. Both men felt a little pushed by the deadline for the upcoming trial run week. But having the deadline forced them to rise to the occasion.

The SW office had been completed and most of the executive offices were in use, including his and Cas’. The call center was operational and walking through it gave Dean a charge every time. This is where reservations were taken and coordinated. When someone called the resort… the call was answered here in English or Spanish... “It’s a great day at Copas De Los Arboles, how may I assist you?” It was awesome!

Calls from within the resort were answered here too, but on a different line, with the answering parties using a different greeting and different system to transfer the calls around to the various departments and buildings.

They had their accountant working and in charge of payroll. They had their marketing director in place and working jointly on promoting the resort for customers and promoting employment with the resort in the nearby cities. Dean and Cas had handled the recruitment in the villages nearby. It had been difficult and progress was slow.

But, Cas’ football with the local children which ensued _every time_ they visited seemed to ingratiate them with the community far more than anything else they did. Eventually, they’d been able to give to jobs to dozens from the villages… there were even a few genuine happy moments.

For example - they’d been able to offer work to Krizia, a local girl who was an unwed mother living in a small lean-to with a dirt floor attached to the back of her parent’s home.

This young lady now had a nice apartment to raise her baby in, a child-care coop being run by the mothers working the resort, and no more worries about draining the precious few resources her parents could afford her.

“This is it…” Cas had said, leaning towards Dean, “this is the beginning of us really starting to help them.”

It felt wonderful.

People interested in working at the resort were brought in small groups, by appointment, to the complex via the yacht or jeep and given an interview, a tour, a meal in the now functional restaurant and a promotional t-shirt.

The apartments were a huge draw – as was the attractiveness of the resort as a whole. They were offering a very fair wage for the work and the ability to shuttle back and forth to the city for a nominal fee that was meant to cover the cost of gas and discourage frivolous use of the service.

They had a system worked out for incoming supplies and their distribution around the resort. They were following a base model for that… similar to how any other resort would run. They’d just fine-tuned it to work with the stand alone units they were offering rather than the multi-unit dwellings of a typical resort complex.

The water was on. The windmill was working. But, privacy was gone. People were everywhere. Vehicles were everywhere.

The only quiet places were the tree huts. Thanks to Dean and Cas’ vision in the early planning stages… the treehouses were protected by geography and were still a quiet, nature filled escape.

Dean and Cas were nestled into their new home. It was comfortable and peaceful. They left their work at the office and kept their treehouse as a retreat and a home. The ‘ANNA’ boxes had been emptied into long, shallow plastic totes that slid under the bed. The closet was stocked with their clothes and the fridge was full of food. It was truly a home.

Their days of manual labor were over. Cas moved about the resort in a suit and tie now… as did the other executives living and working there. Dean wore the outfit of the others who lead excursions… cargo shorts and a resort t-shirt.

Sunni was about… moving purposefully between her many domains and perfecting the menu’s that would be offered at each. She was as busy as the boys were. Her husband Roberto was most often by Dean’s side, dressed the same and working on making sure that the guests would be wowed by their experiences as well as by their accommodations.

Sunni and Roberto were living comfortably in one of the cottages reserved for executives and seemed to be playing a key role in the recruitment of staff as well… happy employees were key to getting new employees to want to work here.

So far… with the obvious exception of their dwindling bank account… it was all going very well.

 

 

 

Sam had told Jess that he wanted to make sure she knew all his dirty little secrets. She seemed to understand and listened to him like a priest takes confession… quietly; encouraging him to continue and trying not to let judgment creep into her voice.

He told her about the statutory rape case that had been filed and then dismissed while he was in prep school, only kept from tarnishing his reputation by use of his dad’s pressure and money. He then transitioned into telling her that he’d had a propensity for chasing tail from an early age… up until shortly before having met her.

She literally laughed out loud at one point. “You really think I didn’t know you’re reputation when I went out with you?”

“I wasn’t sure.” He told her honestly, “I was hoping you didn’t.”

“I knew all about you Sam Winchester… but I felt safe with you anyway… for some strange reason…” she laughed again, “…clearly it defies logic.”

“Not really, I felt you were different from the beginning. I never treated you like the others.”

“Is there anything else I need to know?”

“Well, without being too specific, I’ve allowed a lot of pictures and video to be taken over the years. It seems foolish in hindsight. It hasn’t been a problem so far… but that doesn’t mean it never will be.”

“You mean that someday there might be a sex tape leaked? Starring you?”

“Yes. And it’s possible to see video or photos of me doing any number of drugs too. I’m sorry.”

“How many are out there?”

“Pictures and video? I couldn’t really say.”

“Jesus Sam. As a law student – you should have known better.”

He didn’t speak… only nodded and stared down at the comforter in shame. He wondered silently if she actually _was_ reconsidering being with him. The moment of indecision stretched on longer and longer.

Finally, she broke it. “I’m gonna need another one of these,” she told him as she passed him her empty glass.

“Is there anything else I should know?” she asked when he handed her the refill.

“I was with a man once.”

“Video of that?”

“Thank God no.” he answered, “the guy’s name is Max. We’re still friends.”

“With benefits?” she asked.

“No. Real friends. The sex was a one-time thing… I think I was trying to identify with Dean.”

“Did you like it?” she asked him – interested.

“Yeah.”

“Hot.”

“Really?” he gawked at her.

“Hell yeah.”                      

 

 

 

“You want me to do what?” Cas looked at Dean like he’d grown another head.

“I want you to scream my name. As loud as you can. I’m going to go down to the ground and walk away… see how far I can hear you screaming. When I can’t hear you anymore… I’ll text you and then you can stop.”

“You are a strange man, Dean Winchester.”

“No. I’m a paranoid man. I want to know how far our voices carry. I’d like to be able to scream your name in our own home. But if I shouldn’t be doing that… I’d rather find out from you right now than later on from one of our own employees who has taken a noise complaint about us!”

“Damn. I hate to admit it, but your logic is sound.” Smiled Cas.

“C’mon. Scream for me baby…” he teased as he backed out the door and toward the ladder.

“Don’t fucking call me baby Dean. I will punish you.”

“Promises, promises.” He called out, backing down the ladder.

When he had two feet on the ground he said, “Ok Cas… scream it like you mean it. I’m doing this for both of us!”

“Dean! Oh Dean!” Cas began chanting. Dean started laughing – this was fucking hilarious.

“C’mon Cas! Like it’s real! Fucking scream for me!” he said as he began backing away slowly, still laughing.

“Oh Dean! Fuck me Dean! Fuck me Dean!” there was a pause – likely for laughter – then it started up again, “Dean! You stallion! Fucking ride me! Oh yeah Dean!” another obvious pause for laughter followed by, “Oh Dean! Fuck me hard like your brother does!”

Dean was backing away slowly, laughing himself silly.

“I know its small Dean, but you can do it! Put that tiny cock in me and fuck hard!” yelled Cas, laughing through tears. He glanced at his vibrating phone. He had an incoming text from Dean… it said “You will pay”

“Oh Dean!” He yelled at the top of his lungs, “I can almost feel it! Fuck me with your tiny cock!”

 

 

 

The next day was a big one. Cas had no idea that Anna was coming. But in preparation for the big event, he’d spent the last two weeks filling Cas’ calendar with all kinds of meetings and trips that were just fake. The plan was… once Anna arrived he would tell Cas that his schedule was a fabrication and the man would find himself with very little to do that week and plenty of time to enjoy his sister while she was here.

Dean’s schedule was also intentionally light during the week of the trial run. He wanted to make sure that there was time for them to actually watch things unfold… find their weak points and then implement changes on the fly so that when they opened they’d be ready.

Their tree house episode hadn’t aired yet. But the Head of Marketing they’d hired was clearly worth the money. They were already booked at least to 70% capacity for the next three months. It was both thrilling and terrifying.

Dean and Cas had sat down with Sunni and Roberto a few days ago and explained that as their most trusted employees… they were going to be the ‘back up’ for Dean and Cas when they weren’t on the grounds. There was a general manager for the complex who had several department managers reporting to him. But Sunni and Roberto would take over as his superior when Cas and Dean asked. Both husband and wife had been thrilled. It was obvious.

Dean’s intention was to let Sunni and Roberto handle the running of the resort during the practice week. They’d send an email every hour to Dean and Cass to summarize what they’d encountered in that hour and how they’d handled it.

Dean would have unprecedented freedom from responsibility over the next week. He intended to use it to observe from an outsiders perspective and keep an audio recording of his thoughts and observations throughout the day. That way he could play it all back later and make sure every detail was brought to his attention at a time when he could process it without interruption.

The freedom he would have from any responsibilities this coming week would also make it easier to be available to help Cas with his guests… the way Cas had done for him when his family had come.

As they tucked into bed that night… he was far too excited to sleep.

“Cas,” he whispered, “Are you awake?”

“Of course. I doubt I can sleep at all tonight.”

“You know… we can be heard in the neighboring huts when we scream. So, technically, tonight is the last time we’ll really be able to scream out each other’s names. Starting tomorrow there will be guests. Seems a shame to waste this last chance doesn’t it?” 

“What do you have in mind, Winchester?”

“Too many things… I might need you to pick one for me.” Dean grinned at him as he slid even closer in the dark.

“I might have to pick something out of the box for you.” Cas teased.

“Oh yes… let’s do that. You can keep me up all night and try out everything in that dammed box.”

“It’s that kind of night huh?”

“Fuck yeah,” said Dean – skimming his palm over his own package.

“Is this like the night when you wanted to be my cock warmer? That kind of night?”

“Maybe. I’m not gonna lie… I’m pretty hot for ya.”

“Fine. I have some work to do,” said Cas as he sat up in bed and turned on the bedside lamp, “You can be my cock warmer while I take care of a little business. And if you’re a good boy, then maybe later I’ll let you come.”

“Yes, _sir_.” Says Dean firmly as he slid down in the bed – thrilled with the sexy new game. Dean leaned in, reaching toward Cas’ junk.

“Not yet,” said Cas firmly, pushing him away, “let me get settled first. Patience young grasshopper,” he teased.

Dean watched, dick hard from being bossed around, as Cas leaned over the side of his bed and rustled through the papers he’d been working on before. Dean heard the plastic lid snap and knew that Cas had pulled a toy box out from under the bed. He craned his neck to see but his bed-mate was blocking his view.

He forced himself to stay still, waiting.

Soon Cas pulled himself back up-right in the bed, laptop in one hand and something balled up in the other. He watched Cas flip back the covers. “Take my cock out Dean.”

Dean’s dick twitched in his briefs and he reached out with eager hands to free his man’s package from its cotton prison.

He opened his mouth and leaned in to take the flaccid dick into his eager mouth. He loved feeling his man grow hard in his mouth. It always excited him.

Cas shoved his head back again. “I’m going to need to hear you say please, Dean. Like a good boy.”

“Please Cas, let me have it.”

“You’re going to keep this warm for me?”

“Warm and wet, _sir._ ” Dean replied with a smirk.

Cas gave Dean the nod and he leaned eagerly and pulled his lover into his mouth like it was food to a starving man. He engulfed it, swirled his tongue around it and sucked on it, tasting salt and Cas.

“Settle down Dean,” admonished Cas.

The man was settling back, Indian style on the bed, laptop balanced on his knees. Dean rested his head on Cas’ muscular thigh, holding a light cock on his tongue and relished the thought of an entire night to spend playing dirty games with his lover.

Cas moved his hand over Deans head and reached… pushing Deans briefs down to reveal his ass cheeks and crack… but then left them there.

With his underwear rucked half-way down and his ass exposed he felt even more dirty – even more a slave. It was delicious. His dick was filling and hanging heavy between his legs as he balanced his weight on his knees and elbows, cheek resting on Cas with the man’s junk perched on his tongue.

Cas seemed intent on getting some work done. Dean wasn’t looking at what he was doing on the laptop. Just watched his mans tanned stomach moving in and out as he breathed and listened to the click-clack of the man’s fingers moving swiftly over the keyboard.

Soon he started to hear audio from the laptop. A female voice keening and panting and crying out in Japanese.  Dean repositioned himself so he could see the laptop screen out of the corner of his eye while still keeping Cas in his mouth.

Ah… Japanese anime porn. The man knew how to get Dean going. Speaking of… Cas’ dick was growing in his mouth. As it grew, it became harder to keep it all in. He adjusted his hold, allowing the dick to grow to the back of his throat. He fought the urge to gag on it and willed himself to swallow around it as the spit began to back up in his mouth.

Cas groaned each time Dean swallowed, feeling the constriction on the head of his cock. Dean began bobbing his head up and down on Cas’ thick dick – and every time he bobbed up he was treated to the sight of two Japanese kittens with shapely women’s bodies in thigh high boots… and yes, tails.

They were licking each other and meowing and panting and the sexy factor of it spiked Dean from zero to sixty in a matter of moments.

 

 

 

“Wait, you think the idea of me and another man fucking is sexy?” Sam asked Jess.

“Um… yes. Definitely.”

“How is that sexy?”

“I don’t know,” she replied. “What’s sexy to you about watching to women get it on?”

“Everything!” he said laughing.

“Well… if it’s sexy for a guy to see two women together then why wouldn’t it be sexy for a woman to see two guys together?”

“I guess that’s fair,” he said – understanding.

“Yeah. I don’t need to see a woman in the porno to get off. Her body does nothing for me. I like dick. So if you want to show me the hottest porn there is… put a second dick in there.”

“You’re telling me you like gay porn.”

“Yes. And you like lesbian porn… yes?”

“Yes.” He answered her… hot and bothered already just from their conversation. “Is it gonna be safe to bring Max around you?” he laughed.

She giggled uncontrollably and pulled herself to him, wrapping his growing dick in her warm hands. “Yes, Sam. There’s a big difference between watching a porno in the privacy of our home and actually pulling a friend of yours into the sack!” she said – still giggling.

“But you can be sure that once I’ve met him… I will occasionally picture you guys in my head.”

“Fuck!” Sam whispered loudly as she took him into her mouth and sucked sweetly on the tip of him. It was soft and teasing and perfectly incredible.

 

 

 

Cas was stroking his palm up and down Deans back reassuringly as they watched the little pink and white cartoon kitten girls lick each other all over, and Dean was running his tongue up and down Cas’ tall shaft like he was painting it with his spit. Each time he rolled the tip of his tongue over Cas’ tip, the man would curse and his flat stomach would twitch. Dean smiled around his man’s huge dick and watched the kittens arch their backs and lift their tails for each other. Dean rolled his tongue down his man’s shaft and forced his head down between Cas’ legs. The man grabbed the laptop to keep it from falling as his legs spread apart to make room for Dean to continue licking over his balls; and lower.

“Oh Dean…” purred Cas.

“Cas, man, put that on the nightstand and let me work you better.”

 _Don’t have to tell me twice_ thought Cas.

Dean pulled off his man long enough for him to get to his knees and position the laptop on the bedside table. But before Cas had a chance to re-position himself, Dean reached out and grabbed a hold of his right leg at the ankle. Cas slid to his stomach in one movement as Dean pulled that ankle. He couldn't help but smile as Cas worked to pull his knees up under himself. Dean immediately put hands on each of Cas’ hips and locked him into that position.

Now, Cas was on all fours, facing the kitten porn and Dean was behind him, licking a hot puckered hole and watching kittens do the same; right over Cas’ back.

“Uugghh,” groaned Cas as Dean began working him over with more force, pushing his tongue in every third or fourth pass.

“You like that?” Dean questioned him.

“You know I do fucker,” growled Cas. “Do it again.”

 

 

 

“Jess, that’s incredible,” Sam encouraged as she licked her way around his shaft and down over his balls.

“With Max… did you give it or take it?” she asked him between licks.

“Aaggh!” he cried out as she pushed his leg out of the way and continued licking behind his balls and back over them again as he turned over onto his stomach.

Jess settled between his legs and licked her way up his crack and teased his puckered entrance with the tip of her tongue.

“Who gave and who took Sam?” she questioned between licks, “I’m dying to know.” She licked again, pushing in a bit when her tongue slid over his hole, “tell me!” she barked.

“I took it. I wanted to know what it felt like to be fucked!”

“And how did it feel?” she asked him as she pushed her tongue into him deeply.

“Aagghh! God-DAMMIT woman!” he cried out against her onslaught. “It felt great! I fucking loved it!” he yelled, half into his pillow as she worked him over.

“Did he do this to you Sam?” she asked him as she backed off a bit and trailed her tongue slowly along his wet crack.

“Jess,” he panted, “nobody has EVER done this to me before! Ever!” he was practically shouting, fingers clenched into the sheet and ass pushing backward towards the sound of her voice, seeking more of what she’d been giving him.

“You mean your man didn’t put his tongue in you like I did?”

“No… that was amazing… please, please, _fucking_ _please_ do that again!”

 

 

 

“Dean,” said Cas softly as his head dropped between his shoulders – no longer even watching the incredible kitten porn on his laptop, “Dean… Dean…” he chanted softly as Dean licked him from the inside out, sliding in wet fingers and teasing him.

He lined his lips up around the edges of the man’s hole and sucked on it. When Cas cried out his name loudly, he said, “Atta boy Cas. Do you wanna fuck me?”

“Yes.” He growled loudly, raising his head and looking around behind him toward Dean. “Well come on then, Cas, come fuck your boy.”

Dean scooted forward as Cas moved around behind him. He watched the soft kitten chicks on the screen doing dirty things to each other. As Cas positioned himself over Deans hole and laid the first few wet passes of tongue against him, Dean was watching one kitten arch her back in ecstasy as the other licked her wet, pulsing hole.

Dean's eyes were fixated on the screen as he that as he felt a wet tongue move in him, fingers pushing in alongside and prepping him. He heard the snap of the cap when the lube was opened and felt the cool, viscous liquid spread inside him.

His cock bobbed heavy between his legs and he called out for his man when he felt Cas start pushing into him.

 

 

 

“Look at me Sam,” commanded Jess.

He obediently turned his head and watched her as she put two fingers into her mouth and sucked them. His mouth dropped open as he watched those two fingers move low and fall out of his sight between them.

A moment later, he felt a flash of pain followed by a slow, heated burn in his back door. Just like Max.

“Oh god, Jess! Jess!” he cried out for her and rocked back on her fingers and she pushed forward into him.

“Oh baby… you’re gonna fuck me good tonight aren’t you?” she baited him.

“Oh yeah!” he called out for her. “Oh yeah!”

“I can’t wait to feel you’re cock in me Sam. I love it when you fuck me. Can you fuck me Sam? Please?”

Without a moment’s hesitation he lunged over and grabbed her from behind him. She squealed delightfully as he flung her down on the bed hard.

He laid his mouth over hers… not even caring where it had been. She had driven him wild with desire and he ripped her panties away and fucked into her wet center with reckless abandon.

She called out his name as he laid into her, begging for more. He sucked hard on her nipple while she took his pounding thrusts and called out yeses for him to keep going.

“Bite it Sam! Bite it for me!”

He swirled her nipple in his mouth and then pulled the bud between his teeth and bit softly, rapid bites in quick succession… like nibbling only harder and smiled over her breast as she writhed beneath him. “Yes baby, ye-es! Yes!” she encouraged.

He shot warm heat pulsing into her and loved how it felt when she clenched against his body and rode out her orgasm while latched to him tightly, sweating and cursing, over-run completely with passion before finally flopping down in a panting mess – satisfied.

He dropped next to her. “You’re incredible.” He told her between deep breaths.

“No you!” she answered.

 

 

 

Dean leaned forward and closed his eyes as fireworks went off behind his eyelids. Cas’ thrusts were powerful and he was hitting Deans magic spot with every fucking blow. He could feel Cas' grip tighten on his hips as his rhythm began to falter. 

By the time Cas came, they were both covered in sweat and out of breath. So, when Cas had filled him, Dean shoved his way between Cas’ legs, caring nothing for technique and just ready to finally reach his end. Cas was barely functional, but verbally encouraging as Dean reached for the lube and coated his dick with it.

He flung the tube aside and grasped firmly on Cas’ hips with slippery fingers, hoisting the man back up to his knees and fucked in hard.

Cas cried out and scrambled to get his elbows under himself. Clearly he was weak, having just come. But Cas arched his back and gave Dean a strong and firm, “Yes!” just so there was no confusion. Then the man locked his eyes on some nasty kitten porn and gritted his teeth while Dean thrust forward and fucked into him mercilessly.

Soon both men were calling each other’s names into the night… hard and loud, just like their fucking. Dean thighs were burning from overuse as his man panted and screamed for him louder and louder.

He watched Cas’ body move under his and he leaned forward, laying his palm on the back of Cas’ head and curling fingers into the man’s hair. His dick felt like it was packed with cement, heavy and strong. He pulled Cas back by the hair, forcing his lovers back to arch even further as Dean lurched forward one last time and filled him.

They collapsed forward together, still connected, with Dean’s hips swiveling around as he emptied the last few drops into his man.

“Holy fuck.” Said Cas in a hoarse voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be the last.


	28. Intuition Is A Funny Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter... so of course it's a long one.

Dean woke to the alarm. Today was a big day and he’d wanted to get an early start. As he pushed up to thump the snooze button… the tell-tale soreness from last night’s activities brought a moan to his lips… and not the sexy kind.

“I know,” said Cas quietly beside him, “Me too.”

“I’m gonna be feelin you all day,” Dean said as he circled arms around Cas and tucked his face into the man’s chest.

“Me too. You were a fucking animal last night,” Cas responded as he pressed his lips to the top of Deans head and kept them there.

“We have to get up. It’s a big day. We’re going to the capital to pick up a movie star.”

“This really isn’t my area… are you sure you want me along?”

“Always,” smiled Dean, “they’re excited to meet you.”

“Did you ever tell Charlie that this place popped into your head because she stood behind an ewok in the check out at Wal-Mart?”

“It may have come up.” He grinned, “So, as long as I’ve rented a van anyway… I thought we could leave a bit early. When we get there, we can empty the storage unit. Bring the rest of our things?”

“That sounds good… as long as you’re sure there will be room in the van for everything.”

“I’m reasonably sure.” He laughed – playfully slapping Cas on the ass as he climbed out of bed.

 

They hit the road, less than an hour later, Roberto riding along. As far as Cas knew, Roberto was coming along as security for Dorothy Holmes. But that was a ruse. Dorothy wasn’t flying commercial and landing in the capital of all places. Dean had chartered a plane for her that was bringing her straight from LA to the resort and it would land on the resorts runway this afternoon at 6pm.

Roberto was actually riding along as a training session for how to retrieve regular guests from the capital. He was going to be learning to operate the yacht as well. Dean hoped that soon Roberto could handle the transportation of passengers in Dean’s place.

Roberto had met them on the side of the road next to their treehouse this morning and driven them to the dock. They’d boarded the yacht with Dean showing Roberto the ropes in much the same way George had done for him and Cas over a year ago.

Once they were docked at the Marina in the city, they moved to the rented van and drove it west toward Tegucigalpa. Once in they were in town, they headed for the storage unit, where the three men loaded the last of Cas and Deans belongings into the back of the van.

At the desk, they closed their account before heading for the airport. Once they were in the loop, Roberto dropped them at the door and then continued to circle. Dean and Cas moved through to baggage claim to wait. Cas didn’t ask the flight number, he just waited with Dean quietly.

Dean was glad Cas didn’t ask, he might have thought it strange that the flight was coming from SFO instead of LAX. At this point… if the surprise was blown it was blown. But Dean really wanted to watch Cas’ face light up when he saw Anna walking towards him. He’d been anticipating it for days now.

And now, that moment had arrived. He heard the arrival announcement and brushed the back of Cas’ hand. Cas looked over at him and he nodded toward the flood of people moving towards the carousel. “Look alive Cas, here we go”

Cas stood up straighter but stayed calm as they waited. Dean saw Anna’s fiery red hair about half a second before Cas did. He felt Cas turn and look at him and then face forward again – a double take to see if Anna was real.

Dean’s face broke into a huge grin and Cas looked at him for a split second before understanding dawned. He clapped Dean on the shoulder –

“You sneaky bastard!” he laughed. And then he was running.

Dean watched from far back as Cas ran to his sister and scooped her up in his arms. He spun her around and they were laughing and hugging and yeah… Dean’s eyes may have gotten a little wet. Thankfully, no one was paying him any attention.

Michael came into Dean’s peripheral vision as he stepped up near Anna. Dean moved toward the group and took his turn lifting Anna from the ground in a tight embrace. He’d known he was looking forward to her visit, but he hadn’t realized how much he’d really missed her until his arms snaked around her waist.

Cas shook hands with Michael and exchanged a warm greeting while Dean hugged Anna, then they switched and Cas glopped back onto Anna and walked her to the carousel. Dean and Michael exchanged pleasantries, with Dean asking about the flight and making sure that Michael didn’t feel any weirdness from Dean.

Michael’s drunken confession to Dean at Pam’s going away party had done a lot to smooth over the last of the bitterness that Dean held for the man. He greeted him now like an old friend.

With bags retrieved, they moved to the curb where the van was waiting, and the boys got their guests packed in.

They had a long drive ahead of them to get caught up. Anna told Cas she was excited to see the resort and he acknowledged that he was excited to show it to her. Dean gave Cas the extra gift of letting him know that his schedule had been expertly padded with fake shit.

Cas was thrilled that he’d have so much time free to spend with Anna. Yes, they’d still have work to do – it was unavoidable at this point. But there would be plenty of time for Cas and Anna to enjoy the resort together.

The boys explained that this week was a trial run and next week they’d have actual guests, and that for this week the resort would be fully staffed, but there would be a very small number of guests. They asked the couple what things they were most excited to do while they were here and Anna had said it was the treehouses they were most excited about. Dean handed the couple one of the pamphlets they’d had printed up which showcased the property and the excursions they offered.

They’d also specially printed little booklets for each room with the details of how to work the TV, what numbers to call for assistance, where the restaurants and bars were and the menus they offered… just the basic stuff that every resort leaves in its rooms for its guests.

In addition, each room came with a basket of locally purchased Honduran products. Coffee, cocoa tea, and real Honduran chocolates along with tiny burlap sacks of local spices to take home as souvenirs. A lot of thought had gone into those baskets.

Dean and Cas had been surprised to learn that although the cocoa market in Honduras is small, with only a few farmers growing it, it is known for being some of the best in the world. Swiss chocolate makers have started getting their cocoa from Honduras in recent years.

Cas’ mind had shifted into overdrive when he’d begun learning about it… telling Dean they should invest in a start-up company that would help the local farmers switch over from bananas to cocoa. He was convinced it would benefit the local poor and be a nice profit later. “I know how to pick a winner, Dean.”

Dean had to chuckle and remind him they were already heavily invested and losing their shirts. “Someday, maybe,” he’d said with a shoulder slap. Dean just loved the way the man’s mind worked. Never a selfish thought… always looking for the ‘win-win’… rather than just the ‘win’. It was part of what made his man special.

Once they got to the marina they left Anna and Michael in their room to get settled and moved to the kitchen to put out some light food.

Cas asked if they could snorkel on Roatan for the afternoon, like they had with Deans family. Dean assured him they could – just not now.

“I actually do have Dorothy coming in today. She’s just coming in on our runway. We need to be there by 5:30 to be ready for her.

“Can we take a minute and update my schedule now?” Cas asked him, “I’m going to feel lost until I know what’s real and what’s not.”

Dean chuckled and they sat down together to do it. That’s what they were working on when their guests came into the kitchen.

The couple sat down to eat some lunch, and once Dean was finished helping Cas sort out his schedule, he took a plate for Roberto and excused himself to get them underway while Cas lingered at the table with his sister and Michael.

As they headed south along the coast, Dean stayed at the captain’s chair, showing Roberto how to work the equipment.

Eventually, Cas brought Anna and Michael through, apparently giving them a tour of the yacht. Michael stayed chatting with Dean while Cas and Anna moved on. Dean assumed it was his way of letting Anna and Cas have some time together so he made sure to do all he could to make sure that Michael was comfortable. They talked about the lawsuits, which had slipped far to the back of Dean’s mind while they’d been living in Central America. Things were going well. Some of the cases were starting to settle. In terms of the duration of litigation under normal circumstances – two years to settle was short. These were considered ‘Wins’ by Michael’s standard.

There were lots of updates on the situation with Cas’ father… but at the end of the day… all the updates didn’t amount to much. The man was waiting for sentencing. What else mattered?

They talked about prep school days and how strange life is… how you look back on the life you’d imagined for yourself as a teen and come to see how little you actually knew of yourself then.

The things they had imagined for themselves back then weren’t even close to being the things that truly made them happy or fulfilled. Clearly life is a journey.

They drank cold beer and watched the waves pass under the bow. Dean belatedly thought of turning on music. Cas was clearly getting the short end of the stick having Dean as his back up host.

He chose a playlist of Cas’ that he thought would be appreciated and then turned the conversation towards finding out what kind of activities Michael would be interested in doing while they were here. It wasn’t directly mentioned, but Dean decided he needed to see if he could dredge up a football.

When Cas and Anna came through again, they dropped off beers for Dean and Roberto and took Michael with them as they moved to the deck to relax.

“Roberto, do you know where I can get a football?”

“Cas has one,” he said in his thick accent, “I’ve seen it. It’s in his office.”

“Football Americano” specified Dean.

“Ah…” the man’s eyes glazed over and he laughed, “Tegucigalpa.”

“Perfecto,” laughed Dean, “Solo mi suerte!” (Just my luck!)

 

 

When they docked at Copas De Los Arboles (Tree Tops) Cas and Anna, having seen the sign, were discussing the evolution of the name.

Dean and Cas had really struggled with what to name the place. In the end… they’d picked Copas De Los Arboles because it would still sound exotic to those who didn’t speak Spanish. To those who did… the name would be both descriptive and distinctive. (One of the few resorts on the coast whose name didn’t contain the word ‘Paradise’ or ‘Beach’ or both.)

Once they were docked, he and Roberto moved the couple’s luggage to a jeep. Roberto had much to attend to and begged off. Dean climbed in the back with Michael and allowed Cas to drive, watching as the man navigated around the resort’s main loop, pointing out the things that he thought Anna or Michael would be interested in.

Michael was quiet but attentive and Anna was excited… she chattered away in the front seat with Cas. She asked a lot of questions, but unlike most women, hers were intuitive. She had a mind for figuring out how things worked and was genuinely interested in how they’d solved the problems that had presented themselves along the way.

She was intrigued by the dredging process and what they’d had to do in order to get a windmill built here. She also had a lot of questions about the local culture and people. Cas ended up having to promise her a trip to the villages before leaving so she could see the locals. Cas warned her that it would tug her heart a little. She said she was fine.

Once the tour was concluded, they pulled up on the side of the road at home, their tree house. It wasn’t visible through the trees, but it was there… just up the path.

They took a jog to the left when the main foot path forked and headed toward the ‘guest house’. Anna squealed and bounded off toward the tree house when it suddenly loomed into view. Cas followed after her while Dean and Michael exchanged a knowing look and piled the bags onto the dumbwaiter.

Dean gestured for Michael to head up the ladder and while he did, Dean hoisted up the bags. The dumbwaiters were counterweighted so you didn’t have to especially strong to work them. But Dean could tell that who’s ever job it would be to move between the treehouses all day long hoisting up supplies and hoisting down clean linens would eventually get buff in the arms.

Dean and Cas pointed out their tree house, which was connected by a long wood and rope bridge, and then they left the couple to get settled in.

As they crossed the long bridge toward home, Cas looked back at Anna who was leaning on the railing and gazing out at the beach. She was so beautiful. Michael came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing a kiss to her cheek. Cas was thrilled to see the look on her face when he did.

His sister was in love. Still. It had been years now, with Michael, and they still weren’t married. Cas was beginning to wonder – until he saw that look. Whatever reason they had for waiting to marry clearly had nothing to do with how they felt about each other and Cas was glad.

Dean went without Cas to retrieve Dorothy and Charlie from the landing strip. He wanted Cas to have as much time as possible with his sister, and he didn’t want to overwhelm Dorothy with lots of people when she arrived. He had no idea what condition she’d be in.

He brought Roberto along for training purposes more than for security. The security for the resort was tight… he wasn’t worried about that. They were protected by geography – surrounded by water and fences. They were protected (especially the suites) from the view of long range cameras because of the thick jungle. The beach was also safe from cameras. Planes were not allowed to fly over the adjacent biological preserve. The closest a plane could get would yield not useful pictures of anyone on the beach. The lagoon side was vulnerable and when they took in any celebrity guests, they’d be taking precautions about any boats lingering in the lagoon.

There were specially printed materials for the tree house ‘suites’ which had resort maps detailing the areas where activities could be done with anonymity and of course… Dean had special handlers appointed to see to the special needs of those who stayed in the high dollar tree houses. Dean didn’t call the attendant a concierge, but that’s what they were. They were simply called attendants, and wore a gold name badge instead of everyone else’s silver and had a key card that allowed them more access to things on the property. These were more highly paid staff who were required to be bilingual and have excellent customer service skills. They were chosen from the labor pool with much care and required to sign NDA agreements.

When Dorothy’s plane landed, she was lucid but loose. Charlie was joking about the effects of Margaritas and Dramamine as they greeted warmly with tight hugs.

Dean got them settled into their suite and accepted the praise of both ladies at having struck a fine balance between the feel of a tree house and the amenities that people liked to have. Dean had a masseuse standing by to take care of the ladies after their flight and as she was preparing her things, Dean quietly asked Charlie if the ladies would like to have dinner with him and his family tonight or if they’d prefer to have some time alone.

After briefly conferring with Dorothy, Charlie accepted Dean’s dinner invitation and he brought her attention to the information specially drawn up for celebrity guests. He asked her to try and use as many of the services as possible and give him feedback he could use for future guests and she said she’d her part.

Dean said he’d pick them up for dinner at 8:30 and to shoot him a text if they needed anything. He also elicited a laugh from her when he turned to leave and beat her to the punch. He put up his palm to her and split his fingers saying, “Peace out bitches!”

As Dean drove back to his side of the resort he called Roberto to see if the man had time to help him bring the boxes from the yacht up to the tree house. He agreed to meet Dean at the dock. As they worked at loading up, Dean also asked if the man could work security for him that night.

“Securitas si, por que?”

“Because,” said Dean, pulling the man into English, “Cas and I are going to have dinner at Tree Tops tonight with his guests and Dorothy Holmes. Her companion will also be joining us. I don’t anticipate any problems, so I don’t want the uniformed security to go along and make them feel self-conscious. But, I also don’t want to leave her vulnerable if other guests start asking her for autographs or something.”

“So,” concluded Dean, “If you could just come out in civilian clothes… maybe bring Sunni… you’d be nearby if we need help. If all goes well… you won’t even be needed.”

“If I can drag Sunni from the kitchen she will join me” he smiled.

They had to make two trips in the jeep to wrestle all the boxes from the yacht to the dumbwaiter. But, when Cas got back from Annas, leaving them to clean up for dinner, he found Dean in their room with the Beatles playing on the turntable and singing along.

Cas broke into a wide smile and dug in, helping Dean open the boxes and put the records on the shelves they’d had built in as part of their design. It was more work than expected to restore the alphabetical order, but as usual, work didn’t seem like work with the two men humming along to good music and enjoying each other’s company.

Cas had his sleeves rolled up on his dress shirt, suit jacket abandoned by the door and was sitting cross legged on the floor sorting when there was a knock at the door. It was Anna. Dean smiled and let her in. She said she’d just wanted to come over and get a look at their place.

“Where’s Michael?” Dean asked, handing her a wine cooler from the fridge.

“Taking a nap… he’s been tired lately… so much going on… we were way past due for a vacation. I’m thrilled that you cajoled me into taking this one. We needed it.” She smiled sweetly.

Dean leaned in and gave her another hug, glad she was here. “Did I tell you who we’re having dinner with tonight?”

“Who?”

“Dorothy Holmes”

“Holy Shit!” she bellowed.

Cas appeared in the doorway, one arm propping him up as he leaned in the doorway, looking sexy as hell in his dress clothes with buttons undone. “Dean what did you do to get our resident Angel to swear?”

“I told her who we’re having dinner with tonight.” He smiled.

“Dorothy?”

“Yeah,” Dean said; and looking between the siblings he added sternly, “NO FANGIRL moments. No one asks for her autograph, got it girls?”

Cas leveled a stern look at Dean. Cas liked being called a girl about as much he liked being called ‘baby’. By the looks of it, Dean had earned himself a spanking after dinner.

 _Bring it on..._ thought Dean.

 

 

Sam and Jess had fallen into a routine. Their offices weren’t close but they tried to have lunch together once a week. They often met up at a bar for happy hour after work too. Usually one or both of them would bring work friends along.

It was nice to be able to relax and hang out like that and it slowly brought their two circles of friends together. Little by little, their lives were becoming one. It felt effortless.

As the weather turned colder, Sam found himself Christmas shopping one afternoon in a bitterly cold rain. He ducked into an antique shop seeking something unique for Jess. She had always wanted a grandfather clock and he thought that would make a lovely Christmas gift.

But, when he left the antique shop that day, nestled in his pocket instead was an antique Tiffany engagement ring. It was very spur of the moment… he hadn’t even been thinking of rings. But sometimes, the universe just gives you a nudge.

The ring was perfect and he couldn’t wait to watch her face when she opened it. It was timelessly beautiful, just like her.

He tucked it into his travel bag of toiletries – not wanting her to accidently find it while he decided how to give it to her. Some thought was going to be required.

He called Mary and asked her to give him three ideas of how he could propose. As she squeaked and squealed on the line he begged her to keep the secret and she agreed. As he was hanging up with Mary, he got a text message from Meg. He hadn’t spoken with her in several months. She was asking if he would meet her for a drink… she wanted to talk to him.

His condo was empty, Jess involved in some charity function with her co-workers that he’d been lucky enough to dodge. It was primarily a ladies event, an auction where you could bid on a date with one of the local firefighters. Sam wasn’t the least bit interested in watching his girl and a gaggle of her friends panting and laughing as they bought hunky men. It was for a good cause… but he didn’t care to be there and when she let him off the hook he’d chuckled realizing she didn’t want him there either.

He asked Meg where she was and she replied she was still at work. He named a bar, halfway between her work and his condo, and said he’d meet her there in an hour.

When he arrived, she was already perched at the bar. She looked incredible… until she turned to look at him. She’d clearly not been sleeping well and had been crying at some point over the last hour or so. He could tell because her eyes were red and her skin was blotchy. 

He immediately pulled her into a hug and asked what was wrong.

“Just work. Things have been tough lately.”

“What’s been happening?” he asked her as he guided her to a table and signaled the waiter.

“We’re being bought out. They’ve cut staff. It means that we’ve all had to absorb some extra work. We can’t complain either… no one wants to be let go.”

“Have you been looking for something else?”

“No. I don’t have time for anything… at this point I’m taking work home with me because there’s no way I could possibly finish it all during the work day… not even a long one.”

“Damn… I’m so sorry,” he said honestly. Work stress is a killer – he’s been there. It crushes you slowly.

“Is there anything I can do?” he asked – knowing there wasn’t.

“This helps,” she said with a half-smile and gesturing their locale. “I used to call you when I was stressed and you would… um… help me out. The old fashioned way,” she smiled waggling her eyebrows to get the point across. “But now… that’s off limits and I’m left eating my stress,” she said tersely.

“Well it doesn’t show,” he told her with conviction, “You look incredible as always… once you get past the tear tracks,” he teased, wiping a fresh one away with his thumb. It was a gentle gesture and it was meant to comfort. But as he did it, a little red flag went up in his mind. If anyone were watching this exchange – it would be suspicious. No reason to cause trouble.

  _Keep your hands in your lap_ – he told himself.

“How are things going for you?” she asked, “I heard you’ve started seeing someone.”

“Yes,” he told her, “I have. I managed to stay single for six months though… pretty good for Sam Winchester wouldn’t you agree?”

“I would,” she said smiling softly over the table, “especially if you could honestly say that you weren’t getting any for that entire six months.”

“I can” he said grinning at her wildly. She knew what an accomplishment that was for someone like him and wanted to bring her attention to it. “I was a good boy with my mind on work and moving and jogging and not much else for over six months.”

“Gold star for Sammy!” she said with that old southern drawl. It was warm velvet that used to pull him in and leave him wanting.

Now, he could see it as an attractive quality, but it didn’t attract him personally. Not anymore.

The waiter brought them waters and menus, asking if they’d like a drink to start off with. Sam watched Meg order a bourbon and he asked for a beer as he turned his attention to the menu. “Do you have time to make this dinner?” he asked her.

“Sure Sammy,” she smiled, “I’ve missed you… I’d love to stay for dinner.”

Another red flag. The _way_ she said she’d missed him. There was something to it. He wasn’t sure what, but his subconscious had picked up on it. Immediately he felt less relaxed. He looked around him. The restaurant was starting to fill as the dinner hour approached.

“What looks good?” she asked him, probably sensing his discomfort and trying to relax him.

“Red meat,” he joked, trying to relax and failing.

They scoured the menus and ordered. While waiting for their food, he told Meg about Jess. It seemed the best way to dually focus on his girl and keep Meg reminded that he wasn’t available for anything sexual.

Meg asked questions in the right places, showing in an interest in Jess’ work and even mentioning that she’d been in the Legal Aid building once before.  She asked where Jess was tonight and he laughed as he told her about the firefighters auction benefit.

“So she’s out buying a hunky man for the evening… it’s kind of perfect then that you’re having dinner with me… if you’d like to make her jealous” said Meg leaning in, “I’m game.”

“No Meg,” he laughed, trying to squash this shit quick, “I’m not interested. Sorry, but things are going well with Jess. I’m going to marry her.”

He watched her face fall.

Shit. Shit. Fuck. Perhaps some tenderness could’ve been afforded here. He hadn’t been thinking of her… only of Jess and trying to be careful. He owed her better than that. He should’ve told her very carefully. She’d been both a friend and a sexual companion for years and years.

Now, when she was weak and tired and needing his support – he’d blurted out that he was marrying someone else. After months of silence. _I’m a pig_ he thought.

“I’m sorry Jess… you deserve…” DOUBLE SHIT! I JUST CALLED HER JESS! FUCK ALL! COULD I FUCKING MAKE THIS ANY WORSE?

“Meg. I’m so sorry. I don’t know why that came out.”

“What do I deserve, Sam?” she asked him with ice in her voice.

“Better. You deserve better. I shouldn’t have told you like that. I’m so sorry.”

It was very quiet for a moment. That’s when the waiter stepped up and put their food in front of them. He looked at her, wondering what to say, wanting to hug her… feeling awful.

When she looked up from her plate there were fresh tears in her eyes. “Sammy, you’re going to marry her?”

“Yes. I’ve chosen a ring. I’m going to marry her. I’m so sorry for the way I’ve told you. You are so special to me… you always will be…”

“I thought it would be me.” She whispered quietly, “I just thought that one day… it would be me… so stupid.”

“It’s not stupid. I often thought the same over the years. I’m not saying this lightly Meg… you are special to me. You have a place in my heart. Always.” He said – meaning it, “But you’re not meant to be my wife. And I’m not the one for you either. If I was… it would’ve been too hard to watch me sleep around with other girls. You might feel like it’s me. But trust me, it’s not. I’m not the one.”

“It **was** hard you fucking bastard! It was **hard**!” she screamed at him, throwing her napkin down on top of her untouched food, “It fucking killed me… I only put up with it because it was the only way to keep you in my life… it was the only way I could have you!” she was standing now, looking down on him, “And now I can’t have you at all,” she whispered, “you’ve broken my heart Sam.”

And with that, she turned away and walked to the door. All faces in the restaurant watched her go. Then they all shifted their gaze to look at Sam. He felt hatred from the room on Meg’s behalf. And, he felt a jolt of hatred for himself too.

Not for wanting to marry Jess, but for having been a user. For breaking such an incredible woman. And for knowing that there were others out there too. Women he’d wronged. He’d been such a selfish bastard.

 

 

 

Dean checked his watch. “You bout ready man?”

“Two minutes.” Cas responded.

Dean walked to the shelf next to the bed that now held the turn table. A plus to having a place this small… they’d be able to reach the record player without getting out of bed. Nice.

As he turned off the record and the silence set in, he could hear his man in the bathroom brushing his teeth. He sat down on the bed and checked email on his phone.

Today had gone very well around the resort. With the staff outnumbering the guests by drastic margin… it ought to. There were no real issues. Right now there about thirty guests… primarily the families of Miguel’s crew who had been able to drive themselves here (over the bridge that Dean and Cas had built).

Tomorrow he and Roberto were heading back to the city to pick up the families of the Christopher Columbus and Dean was looking forward to playing with the children. It was odd that he should feel so close to them when he’d barely even learned all their names. He had another stop tomorrow too; picking up guests in Barra Patuca.

Now, as Cas emerged from the bathroom, Dean gave him a smile. The man was still wearing his dress clothes from work with his shirt sleeves rolled up. But he’d taken the time to shave and the scent of his after-shave had Dean leaning in.

Cas smiled wide and pulled Dean in the rest of the way, wrapping his arms around the man’s waist and giving a squeeze before dropping his hands to cup Deans ass through his cargo shorts.

“Thank you, Dean.”

“For what?”

“Anna.” He said softly into Deans t-shirt.

“Anything for you baby.” Says Dean, pecking Cas on the cheek and moving towards the door.

“Call me baby again Dean. One more time.” Says Cas with challenging eyes.

“Just makin sure you’ve got an excuse to rough me up tonight,” replied Dean with a wink as Cas moved past him through the door. They stepped out onto the bridge that connected their tree to Anna’s tree and as Cas moved in behind Dean to start walking across it, Cas gave him a firm and painful pinch on his butt cheek.

“That’s right, _baby_.” goaded Dean.

As they came to the end of the bridge, Dean lingered there while Cas knocked on Anna’s door. She opened it with a smile – ready to go. She and Michael stepped out and the four of them climbed down to the ground, following the footpath to the road.

“Our destination is right there,” said Cas pointing out the entrance to the treehouse network a few dozen yards down the road, “but we have to pick up our dinner companions first.”

Dean gestured for Cas to drive so he could text Charlie and let her know they were on the way. Michael opened the front passenger door and helped Anna up into the jeep before settling in the back seat with Dean. As Dean was texting Charlie, Michael was complementing the vehicle. The two discussed the specifics of how the jeep was outfitted as Cas drove slowly around to the other end of the resort, parking near the treehouse suites. Dean then excused himself to go retrieve their guests.

Michael turned his attention to Cas, “What’s that building over there?”

“The spa.”

“Wow. How many suites are there?”

“Just three. This one that you can see and then there’s two that are farther back. You could see them if it was light outside, but not in the dark.”

“Are the other two as big as this one?”

“This is the smallest.”

“Why didn’t you and Dean choose one like these?”

“Well,” said Cas, “The actual treehouses were some of the last structures that were built. We didn’t come in and choose a treehouse. Dean and I chose our _tree._ Then we just gave Pete a list of things we wanted incorporated into the design. That was the extent our involvement.”

“What was your basis for choosing the tree?”

“Location.”

“I think it’s kind of neat that you guys could’ve built a better tree house, but you didn’t.”

“Oh. You mean like built something bigger with more amenities?”

“Exactly. Most owners take the best unit for themselves.”

“I guess we didn’t really think of it like that. It wasn’t about getting the biggest or best… we just picked a good spot and made a list of things that we thought were important.”

“What kind of things?”

“Oh… I guess trivial things. We had custom built shelves done for my record collection. We asked for a fairly large shower considering it’s a tree house,” he chuckled, “and we wanted a washer and dryer. Our unit and the one you guys are in are the only ones that have those. And the deck. We asked for a deck that would wrap all the way around.”

“I see,” Michael said quietly.

“We couldn’t get the full deck we wanted… the shape of the tree and the weight of the structure had something to do with it. So we got a front porch area similar to your unit, and then if you climb up the tree farther… we have a little nook up there. Nice view to the beach.”

“And you guys are going to live in that tree house indefinitely?”

“Definitely!” laughed Cas as he grinned at Anna, “We love it.”

As they were talking, Dean emerged out of the shadows with the ladies by his side. He pulled the jeep door open and nodded for Michael to move to the third row of seats, which was small and uncomfortable. Dorothy and Charlie climbed in and Dean moved to join Michael in the back.

“What’s up every body!” Charlie greeted everyone warmly and leaned up between Anna and Cas, “You must be Cas?”

“Yes, and this is my sister Anna.”

“Pleasure to meet you Anna,” smiled Charlie, “This is my girlfriend Dorothy, Dottie for short.”

Everyone exchanged greetings and soon they were back to the other side. They exited the jeep near the entrance to the treehouse network. Charlie took Dorothy’s hand and pulled her toward the steps, exuberant, much like Jess had been.

The girls moved ahead, followed by Anna and Michael with Dean bringing up the rear. Lanterns lit the way, mounted on posts and hanging from branches. They looked real enough because they flickered. But in reality, they were electric, wired into the system. They cast a warm orange light on the path and at the entrance to each tree house.

Dean was the last to step out onto the network of bridges, and as he did, Charlie bounded toward him like a gazelle and wrapped him in a dramatic hug. “Oh Dean! Look what you’ve built! It’s so amazing! I want to dress like Princess Leia and play ‘Return of the Jedi’.”

Dorothy strolled over smoothly and ran a hand through Charlie’s long hair. “Oh Red, If you want to dress up like Princess Leia – I’ll play with you.”

Dean couldn’t miss the sexual innuendo. He knew Dorothy was picturing Charlie in the full-on gold bikini that Princess Leia wore while chained to Jabba the Hut. Clearly Charlie got it. She was out of earshot from anyone but Dean when she whispered to Dorothy, “I keep telling you to come to Comic-con with me.”

Dean practically blushed from their sexy banter… mostly because he was actually picturing the Princess Leia outfit. Dorothy didn’t miss it – she glanced over at Dean and said, “You can be Han Solo if you’d like.”

_Fuck. So hot._

“Oh Dottie, leave the poor boy alone,” muttered Charlie while taking her hand and tugging her forward again to resume exploration.

As they ventured along, Dean and Cas hung back a little, just letting their guests set the pace and explore the place. Every time something complementary was said by anyone, the two would glace sideways to look at each other and share smiles of deep satisfaction.

Soon, the jungle ahead was glowing a light green against the dark night. From a few yards back, they all heard Charlie squeal with delight as she stumbled onto the ‘Tree Top Café’. Immediately everyone was gushing… Charlie and Anna were literally spinning with arms outstretched and heads tipped back to look up into the trees where thousands of twinkling ferry lights had been strung. There was a fountain near the bar window, circulating water over rocks and the sound of cascading water really completed the atmosphere. Between the embellishments, the natural beauty and actual jungle sounds – it was magical. Everyone was talking about how lovely it was.

Dean looked around and spotted Roberto and Sunni sitting together at a small table under a tree. He nodded to Roberto and was on his way over to say hello when he noticed their posture. He’d never seen the couple hold hands or kiss or do anything overtly romantic.

He knew they were committed – Dean had spent a great deal of time with them over the last eight months. They worked side by side with a coordination that was enviable and they moved together in a way that suggested they were attached by an invisible tether. And, when they looked at each other, their eyes showed the utmost respect.

But now, for the first time, he was seeing them with hands joined on the table and legs twined under it. Sunni had on make-up (that was a first) and Roberto was just leaning in to kiss her cheek when Dean began walking their way.

Now, a few feet away from them, he turned back. He could tell that they were having a rare moment and he didn’t want to interrupt it or make Roberto feel self-conscious about it. He moved away from them and steered the group toward a table farther down with several trees between them and the romantic dinner happening twenty feet away.

Since no one else was here… security was simply not needed anyway.

The waitress came over, alerted by their noise, and introduced herself in English. She provided menus, told them the specials and took their drink orders. A job well done. She was clearly nervous but Dean wasn’t sure if it was because she was waiting on the big bosses or because she knew who Dorothy was.

Dinner was delicious. Dorothy, Charlie and Anna were all enthused to try local cuisine and ordered several dishes, each sampling each other’s and passing sauces between them. The favorite of the evening seemed to be the Carne Esada platter and the Sopa de Frijoles. A fresh fruit plate was placed in the center for the table and everyone was trying fruits they were unfamiliar with as they enjoyed their meal.

The discussion turned towards activities then, everyone talking about the things they were most excited to do.

As the plates were cleared away, they ordered a round of drinks and Dean asked the waitress to bring out their showcase drink. Sunni hated it. Dean loved it. He knew the tourists would love it. It was on the menu as ‘jungle punch’ and it was extremely expensive. It was a half watermelon, partially dug out and filled with several different kinds of alcohol and fruit juice. The cool part – the part that Dean loved was the tapered straws that were brought out with it. Each guest could string together however many straws they needed to reach the melon from their seat. It became a game for everyone to loop straws around each other. The actual meat of the melon held the straw in place once it was set.

As expected, it was great fun. It added just a little bit of a ‘Spring-break-in-Miami’ vibe to the table. Dorothy was becoming more and more flirtatious with Charlie as the evening wore on and it brought out Anna’s fun side.

Dean had never seen Anna be fun in Michael’s presence. Probably because there had always been tension between them and Michael and Anna had been stuck in the middle of it. But to watch them it became clear that Michael both knew and loved Anna’s fun side as much as Dean did.

By the time the watermelon was being replaced with a new one they had moved on to playing cards. Anna had a deck in her purse as did Charlie.

Dean must’ve given Anna a look because she immediately justified it, “What? I spend a lot of time waiting on him,” she said good-naturedly, gesturing at Michael with her thumb, “I prefer playing solitaire with real cards over playing a computer game on my phone.

Dean glanced at Charlie, “Oh I’m just a game nerd, I have a zombie dice game in here too.” She said, gesturing toward her giant purse/book bag.

“Charlie also spends a lot of time waiting,” Dorothy clarified for Anna.

They played bullshit which was fun for a while and then they changed over to spoons which got wild quickly. When the suggestion to play truth or dare came up… Dean knew he was in trouble.

“I think we should turn in… nothing good can come from truth or dare.” Said Dean firmly.

“I totally disagree,” smiled Michael, “I got Jo Harvelle and Krissy Thomkins to make out playing truth or dare.”

Dean, remembering Krissy, stood over the table and gave Michael a fist bump. Then he looked to Anna for forgiveness. She gave him a shrug and continued to shuffle cards amid the chaos.

“I think Cas and I need to call it a night. If anyone’s going to get dared to kiss… it’s gonna be us” he laughed.

Cas stood, clearly having hit the watermelon hard, and announced that they should just get it out of the way then.

Dean wanted to shut down the idea of truth or dare. So he decided to push for playing ‘I Never’ instead. But he didn’t want Cas to feel like Dean was ashamed to kiss him. So he stood and moved around the table to his man. As he was walking he said, “Ok, I’m gonna kiss my man. If you don’t want to see it turn away now. _But_ , I get to pick the next game.”

Resounding cheers went up from the table. Having gotten his way – there was no reason not to give the audience a show. He knew it wouldn’t bother Anna – she’d seen it before. So when he reached Cas, he pulled the man away from the table and spun him around. Cas was so buzzed and pliable that it was easy.

Dean had turned him away from the group and pressed his back up against a nearby tree, grabbing hips and sinking deeply into a passionate kiss. Cas wound his arms around Dean and they found themselves the subject of wolf whistles and cat calls which escalated the longer the kiss went on.

Dean pulled away when he felt his stomach start to churn from Cas’ rocking hips. They broke apart and stared breathless at the table for a half second while they recovered themselves. As they did, applause broke out and then died down when they sat down together at the table.

“Ok,” said Dean. “Does everybody know how to pay ‘I Never’?”

 

 

 

Cass rolled over the next morning with a pounding headache. “Fuck…”

“I know. Me too.” Said Dean, “At least you don’t actually have to get up.”

“Why do you?”

“I’m going to Trujillo to pick up the Christopher Columbus gang. Then to Barra Petuca to get another group.”

Cas got up and brought Dean some aspirin and juice. “I’ll go with you.”

“Nah. Stay here. Sleep some. Take Anna to the beach, that’s what she wanted to do today.”

“Okay, thanks Dean.”

“You bet.”

“How hot was that… last night… watching Charlie and Dorothy make out?”

“Hot as fuck.” Laughed Dean, “I wonder if they thought the same about us”

“Speaking of… do I need to do anything for them while you’re gone?”

“Nope. It’s been taken care of.” Says Dean as he smacks Cas on the ass, “Go back to sleep. I’ll see you this afternoon.”

 

 

Sam spent the next few days thinking about Meg. He felt bad for her and wanted to do something for her. But at the same time, if she was broken hearted over him, there wasn’t much he could do for her. His presence would make things worse – not better.

He asked Jess what she thought. She confirmed his opinion that his being around wouldn’t be helpful. But she did suggest that he send her something.

“Like what?”

“I don’t know Sam, she’s not my ex,” Jess told him, “A letter, flowers with a nice card, a gift of some kind to remember you by and some kind words to ease her pain. Do you have a picture of the two of you together? You could send it to her with a sincere note. Encourage her somehow. That’s all I can really think of… aside from just letting time heal it.”

Sam considered it for a few minutes and then an idea popped into his head, “I think I’ve got it. Thanks Jess.”

He darted to the living room where his neatly boxed up pictures were sitting on a shelf. He dug through the old ones and found a picture of him and Meg together at the senior winter formal. He also grabbed one of his senior pictures… a close up head shot.

He wrote a letter telling her that he’d always known she was special, but he’d been selfish. He couldn’t commit and be loyal, but couldn’t let her go either. So, he’d kept her in limbo with sex and friendship as the pull to keep them together. He went on to say that he felt like he’d taken something from her, and that he was sorry. He ended by saying,

“Here’s a picture of us senior year… something sweet to remember us by. And here’s my headshot. It should fit nicely over your dartboard and provide hours of entertainment at my expense. If you ever decide you can stand to be friends with a douche bag like me… call. If not, I will understand.

Again, I’m so sorry.

Love, Sam.

Sam knew it was a bit strange but felt that Meg would understand the sentiment behind it. She would ‘get it’.

He fit the letter and the pictures into a padded envelope and addressed it to her. As he was labeling it, he had a nagging feeling that he was missing something important. He decided to give his mind time to think on it. No need to be hasty… he set it on the dresser and told himself he’d think about it for a while.

Maybe something better would pop into his mind… or maybe he’d end up feeling better about sending it. But, for now, that envelope sat comfortably on his dresser and waited for him to decide for sure what to do about Meg.

 

Dean and Cas found that the resort ran pretty well. There weren’t any big issues, but dozens of small things came to mind that could be improved upon. More than anything, their ‘trial run’ week had shown them that they were far more ready to open than they’d given themselves credit for.

The families of the Christopher Columbus seemed to have a wonderful time. So did the families of Miguel’s crew. Dean had gone down to the south end of the beach where Miguel’s crew and families were staying and joined them for a bonfire on the beach one night. He passed out envelopes of cash (bonuses) to the men and boxes of resort t-shirts for them to take home and pass out to family members. Then he’d given a short speech about how proud he was of what they’d built and that he hoped they were too.

When he left, he got a hat tip from Miguel. He’d done well.

Dorothy and Charlie chose to spend most of their time alone. They hung out in their tree house, ordered in food and massages and went skinny dipping in the pool after hours (set up by their attendant). They had meals with Dean and Cas a few times, and one more fun dinner with the boys, Anna and Michael. But aside from those meals together, the girls kept to themselves.

Charlie had texted Dean several times to let him know what a wonderful trip it had turned out to be for Dorothy, who had needed to get away. On the day he drove them back to the runway for her departure, Charlie hugged him tightly and thanked him for everything, reassuring they’d be back and letting him know she filled out all his ‘stupid feedback stuff’ for him and left it on the table in their suite.

Cas and Anna had a lovely time too. They spent a full day over on Roatan snorkeling while Dean played captain, bar tender and chef. He knew he didn’t do it quite as well as Cas did – but he did his best.

Anna and Michael had opted to spend the bulk of their vacation just sleeping late and then relaxing on the beach in front of their tree house reading and napping. It was clear that they’d needed a rest. Dean had offered a $50 reward to any staff member who could find him an American football. He now had three, and he and Cas went down to the beach several times to throw the ball around with Michael. They had a good time, though it clearly wasn’t Cas’ sport.

Anna seemed pleased with the boys for going out of their way to do something Michael would enjoy and it had been fun for Dean too.

Each night, Dean and Cas would take them to dinner somewhere. They ate poolside one night and then spent the evening swimming and getting hammered at the swim-up bar. That evening had been a special one for Dean and Cas too… the Christopher Columbus kids were present and rowdy and Dean an Cas had a wonderful time playing with them in the dark, under tiki lights while Anna snapped pictures. Dean continually fueled the older boys to push Michael into the pool. Doubly satisfying.

The following night they ate at the tiki bar on the point. But twice more Michael and Anna opted for the ‘Tree Top Café’ saying it was their favorite place. Cas was bummed when they had to take Anna back to the airport, saying over and over how much he was going to miss her. Dean would miss Anna too, she was like a sister to him now.

But, once the guests were gone, both boys knew it was time to get their heads back in the game fully and focus on really working. The resort would open tomorrow. For Real.

They were up until the wee hours of the morning again, just seeing to all the details of the changes they wanted to make immediately.

Dean spent hours going over his little ‘voice journals’ and making notes – sending emails to the appropriate managers regarding the changes and then creating power points with Cas for the barrage of staff meetings that would be happening in the coming week as they adjusted to the resort being in operation.

Both men were bleary eyed when they headed for home, climbing the tree while fully aware that they’d be climbing down again in just over two hours to be in their office on time.

Both men’s office hours were clearly communicated to the resort staff and they didn’t want to start out being unavailable during that time window on the very first day.

At 7:20 they shrugged off their soft sheets and headed to the shower. Dean started the coffee on his way in there. Cas had a cold can of Mt. Dew half gone when Dean staggered in and dropped his boxers to the floor. He grabbed the can and chugged, just trying to wake up.

Cas had the water on the cool side to provide a shock to their system and wake them. It was effective. They both cursed stepping into it.

But, by the time they got into the jeep… adrenaline was pumping. They were feeling the hum of activity as vehicles passed them on the road. The resort now owned several more jeeps which were used to take the improved road through to the villages and into the biological preserve which lay beyond. It was technically ‘the long way’ to the airport when looking at the map. But it was the only road. The jeeps were driven by staff and worked a constant route back and forth between the capital and the resort in those early weeks.

Additionally, the runway was in almost constant use as charter planes came and went, leaving guests in the hands of attendants.

Cas was working on a deal with the airline to add their resort to the official route of a turbo prop out of the capital and they hoped that this would improve the experience for guests who couldn’t afford to charter and subsequently had to endure an hours-long journey over sub-par road conditions.

The yacht was quickly overwhelmed with work… running almost constantly between picking up guests and providing snorkel trips.

“Cas, man, the list of shit we need to buy is getting longer not shorter. What the fuck?”

“I’ve set us up a meeting with Dominic for Friday afternoon,” Cas responded, “I thought we should prepare some numbers on what we think we need to spend. I think now that we’re up and running we have a better idea of where our biggest equipment shortages are.” He paused and then continued more forcefully, “You and I need to figure out what our bare minimum financial need is to cover to them. You know,” Cas urged, “figure out the bare bones dollar amount that will cover the purchases we simply have to make now and then go to the meeting and see if Dominic can find us that amount… even using credit if we need to… just to get us through the next few months. Then we can re-assess.”

“Sure Cas,” agreed Dean, “this is more you’re area than mine.”

Dean was looking at their personal account as they talked. They hadn’t spent much at all over the last year. Only about half of what he’d budged for them monthly. He began adding up the amount that he’d been budgeting for them monthly and then spent the next few hours auditing their actual bank statements and deducting what had been spent. The ‘surplus’ he came up with was just over $112,000.

Cas had gone back to his own office at some point while Dean had been working. He stood and stretched, then grabbed his loose papers and walked next door. Cas looked up when Dean knocked on the door jamb of his open office door. _Damn he looks hot in that suit._

Dean walked in purposefully and sat down in the chair facing Cas’ desk. “I found us $112,000 by raiding our personal accounts. Do we want to use it?”

“Yes.”

“I can get us another $180,000 if we’re willing to shorten the time that we’ve allowed ourselves to be operating in the black.”

“How?”

“We budged enough money from the sale of my condo to support ourselves for six years while we were in the red. We’ve used 16 months of that so far including the $112k that I just told you about. If we shorten the time from six years to five… that gives us another $180 grand.”

“I see.” Said Cas warily. “We get a chunk to use now, but we have to throw in the towel a year sooner if we can’t turn a profit.”

“Exactly.” Said Dean, not looking directly at Cas.

“Well,” said Cas, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

“In for a penny, in for a pound,” laughed Dean.

“We should stitch that on a pillow.”

“Cas?”

“Yes?”

“Are you scared?”

“Yes.”

“Have you estimated what we actually need? We’ve found almost $300 grand to put towards purchasing… but I have no idea if it’s enough.”

“No. I need you for that. Do you want to go over it now?” he asked.

“Yep.”

“Alright.” Breathed Cas, “you better shut the door.”

 

Over a late dinner that night, on their front deck, they talked as they watched the blue-green hues of the tropical waters rolling up onto their beach while the sun began to set behind them. Tourists were scattered about on the sand, thinning out with the approach of nightfall.

They’d spent the afternoon going over the lists of things they needed to buy and determining how much each would cost and then assigning each a priority level. The highest priority items were the ones they felt were needed to insure that the guests could use the amenities comfortably at a ‘per person’ dollar amount within the pre-determined budget of their original business plan. The next level was comprised of things that they felt made fiscal or logical sense… but could wait three months or more. The final level was basically ‘pipe dream’ material.

Just to purchase the items needed at the most base level was going to cost a bit over half a million dollars. At present, their budget for these things was zero. The money remaining in the business account was already at a critical level, according to Dominic, and that needed to be maintained to preserve their ability to make the payroll every week and pay for the supplies that were continually arriving.

They’d be meeting with Dominic on Friday to discuss possible strategies but it didn’t seem hopeful that anything from the business account could be redirected for purchasing.

So, with the $292,000 that they had already found… that left them short $210,000. It was a punch to the gut.

Dean shoveled the last of his canned soup into his mouth and sopped up the juice with bread.

Cas leaned back, watching the guests on the beach and not looking at Dean. “I’m going to ask Anna for the money we’re short.”

Dean’s jaw dropped, “Does she even have it? Her money is frozen too.”

“She managed to get some out before they froze her. And, she probably still has that $120k that she offered us when we were trying to buy the video from Michael. I’ve decided to ask her and see if she can loan us anything.”

“Cas, let’s wait with that, at least til after we’ve met with Dominic on Friday.”

“He’s not going to have good news for us Dean.”

“I know. But if you’re asking Anna then I’m asking mom.”

Cas looked pitiful, “Dean, no. She’s a widow.”

“She’s not working in a sweat shop Cas. My dad wouldn’t have left her with nothing. Who knows… this might be small money to her.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Me either.”

“Dean?” Cas set down his dish and moved in front of his man, forcing him to meet his eye for the first time, “Let’s just take the rest from our personal account. If we get to the point where we’re out of that… then we can borrow from our families.

“You’re right. It shortens the time we’re allowing ourselves to turn a profit at this, but that’s better than asking our families for money.”

Dean pushed past Cas and stood with his back to his man, facing the beach. “I get another dividend check in a few months.” He whispered.

 

 

 

Sam was getting ready for work when he passed the dresser. The envelope for Meg had been sitting there for over a week. He felt no different now than the day he’d put it together. Clearly nothing better was going to come to mind. He sighed and tossed it into his briefcase, planning to drop it in the outgoing mail at the office today.

He wished there was more he could do for Meg. He owed her more. But his mind was blank on solutions. Everything that Meg wanted was bad for Jess. There was truly nothing he could do.

 

 

Once Dean and Cas had decided to raid their last financial resource, they were able to get the things they truly needed to run the resort efficiently. Both men put in long hours over the next few weeks, but as time went by their schedules became more routine and the stress levels went down.

Cas spent most of his work day in the office, crunching numbers and creating charts, researching and creating reports based on his findings. He was intently focused on making each decision with the most data possible; informed decisions. He was brilliant.

When Cas wasn’t in his office he was out mixing with the employees. He watched them and questioned them relentlessly about their jobs and their lives. The information he got from them would inevitably wind up in his constant proposals for changes to policy and to procedure.

 _God love him_ thought Dean when he got a look at the Policies and Procedures Manual that Cas had drafted personally.

Dean had office hours too. He had specific reports that he was responsible for each week. Aside from that – his days were spent with the guests. He always personally attended to the guests of the suites – the rich and famous guests. It was his forte and it served them well. The small population of elites that came through supplied an overwhelming source of income proportionately to the regular guests. And they owed Dorothy Holmes a fruit basket or fifty. Her referrals alone were staggering in what they spent at the resort.

In addition to overseeing the care of the elites, Dean was also the creator of their excursions (along with Roberto whose knowledge of the locals and the surrounding areas were indispensable) and he rotated with the staff to take groups out. He was constantly seeking to improve the experiences that the guests had.

With the roles clearly defined, the resort fully staffed and their equipment shortages managed… things were good. Life was good. The boys were happy.

Now, the only time Dean actually felt nervous was when he considered their future… two years down the road when the money would truly be running out. It was the ‘end of the line’. Initially they’d allowed themselves six years to start making their living off of the resort. Now they were down to two.

Every time it crossed his mind, Dean would get nauseous. He truly loved this life and this work. When he thought only of the present, he was easily the happiest and most fulfilled he’d ever been.

But, pondering the future? That was terrifying. The thought of having to sell this place he’d built with Cas… or worse yet… lose it to foreclosure… that thought was painful to his core.

The idea of letting down the locals who were coming to depend on them for a better life was sickening too.

The thought of what Cas’ face would look like if that actually happened… that was the worst feeling imaginable. Dean thought he’d rather cut off his hand than have to see Cas be crushed like that.

They hadn’t come here for a charity project. But they had become committed to one none-the-less. It was bittersweet.

 

 

Jess was sitting at her desk. It was close to quitting time and she was just finishing up a filing for a client when she heard the clack of heals on the tile floor stop in front of her desk. Looking up she saw a striking and well-dressed woman. She had delicate features and cascading auburn hair. The woman didn’t speak.

“Can I help you?”

“Are you Jessica Moore?”

“Yes, Can I help you?”

The woman handed her a thick manila envelop and walked away without another word. Jess watched as she moved out the door and onto the street, disappearing.

She turned the unmarked envelope over in her hands and tore the end open, holding out her other hand to catch the contents as she snapped her wrist to shake out the envelope.

Immediately, she looked up and around to see if anyone was close enough to see. All her mind could process was… genitals… theses were dirty pictures. No one seemed to be looking so she shoved them back in the envelope. She had no privacy at her desk, it sat right out in the open along with everyone else’s. This was Legal Aid - not Winchester Law.

She stood and headed for a conference room. The work day was all but over, so none were in use. She went in and closed the door. Then she backed her chair up against it to keep from being interrupted, and pulled out the contents again to have a better look.

Her stomach clenched as though she may be sick.

Sam. Sam and some woman. There were so many. Clearly they had not been taken in the same situation. This wasn’t the photographic evidence of one sexual encounter. These photos were the living proof of many, many encounters over a period of years. Sam’s hair changed significantly between pictures.

Some of these were pictures that had clearly taken by Sam himself. And there were pictures of Sam in some very compromising positions. These were worse than what she’d imagined when Sam had warned her that something like this might happen…

… he had actually warned her of this very scenario. How was she still so unprepared?

He wasn’t kidding about his unguardedness with the camera. There were pictures of bondage, pictures of drug taking, pictures of spankings in progress and it just went on and on. His smile in some of these photos was disturbing to her… a sick kind of smile that she’d never seen on him before. This version of Sam was an entirely different person from the Sam she knew and loved.

But yet, it wasn’t. This. Was. Sam.

 

 

 

Dean untied the yacht and thumped up the steps to the captain’s chair. No Roberto today. No excursions today. No guests.

The resort was running smoothly now. Of course there were still problems and issues – there always would be. But it finally felt stable enough for Dean and Cas to actually take a few days off. Mondays were the slowest days at the resort and the easiest time to make a getaway.

Barring any unforeseen circumstances, Roberto and Sunni were expecting them back on Wednesday morning.

To celebrate their first days off in months, they were taking the boat out. They’d had a loose plan to visit Roatan but what they’d do when they got there… they weren’t quite sure yet.

The boys had considered docking on the mainland and spending a night in the monkey hut. They’d also talked about just making it a snorkel trip to explore the northern reefs that they hadn’t visited yet.

But now, as Dean pulled away from the dock, he was suddenly taken with an idea for their first pit stop. He smiled as he navigated out of the channel and into the ocean. But instead of turning north, he continued east.

They seldom ventured out this way. There just wasn’t much out here to see.

Just as the shoreline became a sliver, they would arrive at a small reef. But, no one was ever out here because the reef was unimpressive. There was a small sandbar nearby which was also unimpressive.

This was the area that Mary had suggested converting into a kid’s adventure by sinking treasure and making it a pirate themed playground.

The idea was a good one… they simply had not had the time or resources to devote to developing it yet.

Now as Dean steered toward that unimpressive shallow area, located east of the resort, Cas came to stand beside him, handing him a cold beer.

“I thought we were heading to Roatan?” asked Cas as he watched the dark blue of the deep water in front of them.

“We are… just thought maybe a pit stop?”

“What for?” asked Cas – watching curiously as Dean began slowly removing his shirt.

“Umm…” stalled Dean as he unbuttoned his shorts and smiled at Cas, “privacy?”

Cas’ eyes dropped to watch Deans hands unzip his shorts and drop them to the floor. He licked his lips and took another sip of his beer.

“C’mon Cas… there’s no one out here. It’s just us. I say we pretend this is a nude beach that we’re visiting on vacation.”

Dean was sliding his boxer-briefs down his thighs and watching Cas for a reaction.

“So…” says Cas as his brain does the math, “We’re going skinny dipping? In broad daylight?”

“Yeah,” Dean replied as he reached for Cas, “But more than that,” Deans fingers slide between folds of fabric and gripped Cas’ zipper, “We’re not just gonna drop trou and jump in for a dip,” gently tugging Cas’ zipper down, “We’re gonna have full-on naked time,” tugging Cas’ shorts down his tan thighs, “all damn day.”

“Fuck,” whispers Cas.

“Fuck yeah,” Dean whispers back as he watches Cas drop his shorts to the floor and begin pulling off his shirt.

The two men stood, naked now, sipping beers as Dean steered the vessel with one hand.

The days of swimming naked together were long gone. This would be the first time in a VERY long time. To prove it… they had tan lines. Harsh ones. Dean eyed Cas’ line where his lithe and deeply tanned back gave way to smooth, soft white skin below the belt line.

Cas had an incredibly beautiful body and Dean was enjoying just watching it as they moved farther out to sea.

Both men were ‘half-mast’ with their dicks clearly excited to be liberated from clothes – even if actual fucking was still hours away.

Bottles were soon empty and Cas felt a tingle of excitement as he left Deans side to go get them each another beer. Naked.

He grinned as he moved through the ships quarters in his birthday suit and touched himself freely as he carried the drinks up the steps.

Approaching Dean from behind he let his eyes wander lazily over his man’s form. Strong shoulders, smattered with freckles. Lean back and noticeable tan line above his perfectly shaped ass cheeks. And damn. Those muscular bowed legs. So fucking hot.

Dean Winchester in profile was worthy of an artist’s rendering – Cas was taken from the first time they’d met. And now, this greek-god of man was his.

Soon, they were dropping anchor at the sand bar.  They headed for the swim platform, Dean pausing at the bar to grab another round of beers. Then, they eased out onto the swim platform and dangled their legs into the water which had turned turquoise as it grew shallow near the sand bar.

They got hot as they sat there naked, drinking and baking in the sun. Dean splashed Cas lightly, mostly so he could watch the little rivulets of water roll down his mans chiseled chest. Those nipples. Fuck.

Dean handed Cas his bottle and slid into the water, letting himself sink below the surface into cool water and get his head wet. When he surfaced, he looked up to see Cas putting their empty bottles in the trash and then jogging back to the platform.

Yes, jogging. Semi-stiff member flopping side to side, wide grin, and then he vaulted over Deans head splashing into the water a few yards from the yacht.

They swam for a while, just gliding around each other and enjoying how free it feels to swim with nothing on you. No material to weigh you down or hold your nuts up. Everything just floating and bobbing and out for anyone to see.

When they’d cooled off, Cas swam over to the sand bar and hoisted himself out onto the small beach. Dean watched the man lay down on the warm sand and rest his head on his forearms, eyes open and watching Dean watch him.

Cas’ back and ass were warming quickly in the sun and when Dean exited the water and moved to lay down next to him, sprinkles of cool water dotted his backside.

The men watched each other’s eyes as they basked in the heat of the day, and soon became drowsy from beers and the peaceful surroundings.

Occasionally, the drone of an approaching boat would rouse them. They’d wake just enough to watch the horizon and be sure that the incoming boat was moving past them before returning their heads to a resting position.

When Cas was so hot that he was uncomfortable, he rolled over and sluffed back out into the water, floating around as he cooled and then sprinkling Dean to cool him too (or wake him, maybe).

When Dean roused and swam back to the yacht, he followed Cas’ wet footprints into the cabin and to the kitchen.

“Right on time,” Cas smiled handing him a plate of sandwich and chips.

“Awesome,” grinned Dean as Cas took his plate of food and headed for the couch. They sat down and turned on the TV. They so seldom watched it that television was actually a bit of a novelty. They ate their food and enjoyed the contrast of the cool air-conditioned cabin as their bodies began to dry.

After eating, they found themselves actually cool in the dry air and Dean pulled the throw blanket from the back of the couch to warm them. They toyed lazily with each under that blanket as the afternoon passed.

Soft stroking hands and smooth skin that begged for touch kept them from being fully engrossed in the show they were watching and soon, Cas could hold back no more. He slid down Dean’s hard body and drug his tongue over the man’s salty skin, not stopping until his chin bumped into Dean’s manhood.

He only paused long enough to draw a deep breath before he plunged down his man’s thick dick and felt his body come alive.

Dean sucked in a breath too as Cas worked over his cock, hands gripping hips - mouth wet and needy.

Cas drug his tongue around the base and sucked Deans balls into his mouth. First one, then the other, rolling them around and listening to Dean’s breaths come harder.

Soon Dean’s hand was resting on Cas’ head and his man was moaning for him. Cas hummed on balls and sucked and then suddenly Dean was hollering, “Stop it!” and pulling Cas’ head away.

Cas raised questioning eyes to Deans face.

“Dude, take it easy… those are attached you know!”

Cas tilted his head, considering. He didn’t think he’d sucked any harder than usual. Unperturbed he sank back in, making sure to treat his man’s package nicely and licked his way up and down again. He closed his eyes and took the man’s length into his mouth, opened his throat and began pressing a long shaft to the back where it would tickle and gag him. Soon Dean was moaning praises again and Cas began working his tongue back farther and farther – going for the crack.

As he rolled over Dean’s sack, he felt the man tense. Encouraged he sucked in a ball again, only to feel Dean pulling away… strange. As contemplation over took passion, Cas began to notice something…

“Hey Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re left ball is bigger than your right.”

Dean picked his head up and looked at Cas, moving his hand down to feel it. “Damn, you’re right.”

“Does it hurt?”

“When you suck on it.”

“Does this hurt?” Cas asked him, rolling the larger ball between his fingers.

“Ow, yes!” he spat, “Take it easy!”

“I’m barely touching you.”

Dean’s head fell back onto the couch cushion. He exhaled. “This has never happened to me before.”

“Me either Dean, what do you suppose it means?”

“I don’t know… maybe that I’m not twenty years old anymore and I should be seeing a doctor once in a while.”

“I won’t argue that.” Said Cas quietly, “You know… we’ve got time. Why wait. Let’s go now.”

“I don’t wanna go now,” whined Dean like a ten year old, “We were gonna have naked time!”

“Yeah, but that was before… I can’t just lay here and relax and not know what’s wrong with your junk.”

“Ok. But let’s not go back to the resort. Let’s dock in Trujillo and rent a car from there. Go to the capital… the last thing I need is our fucking villagers trying to cure me by killing a chicken over my head.”

Cas huffed a laugh and agreed. “Ok. You relax, I’ll get us going.”

Dean curled into the fetal position under his blanket and stared, uninterested, at the television. What a bummer. Just when things were really heating up.

 

 

 

Sam had given a lot of thought to the proposal. His mother had given him three very lovely ideas for proposals… one cliff side version at sunset overlooking the sea, one convoluted scenario that would only work in a movie, and one that was vastly overdone on television - involving a ring in the champagne glass at an expensive restaurant.

None of these really felt organic. He wanted something honest and from the heart. Something simple and sweet, like she was.

He decided to simply wake her with breakfast in bed, and ask her. His plan was to be an extremely generous lover tonight… to a fault. Then, in the morning, bring her breakfast in bed with her beautiful ring artfully displayed as the napkin ring.

Knowing that he was proposing in the morning, he wanted everything to be perfect. He’d cleaned the house, run to the grocery to be sure he had all the ingredients for the breakfast and now he was pulling the engagement ring box from its secret hiding place amidst his traveling razors and deodorant.

He took the ring from the tiny box and put the box to the back of this nightstand drawer – within arm’s reach for morning. He took the ring itself with him to the kitchen where he’d hide it until breakfast tomorrow. Just as he started down the hall, he heard his front door click.

_Fuck! She’s here!_

He tucked the ring in his pocket to hide it. It weighed twenty pounds. He felt like she could see the outline of it through his pants.

Logically he knew it was safe, unnoticeable. But for some reason, his palms were sweaty anyway as he moved towards the door.

He smiled and said, “Hey Jess, how was…” his voice trailed off. Something was wrong. Something was dead wrong. Had something happened had someone been hurt? Died?

“…what? What’s wrong?”

She looked at him as if she’d walked in on him chopping up kittens with an axe. He’d never seen such a betrayed, torn or devastated look on her face before. He took a step towards her and she took a step back.

Unsure of what to do or say, completely thrown, he just watched and waited for her to say or do something. Anything. Break the tension.

BANG

A heavy manila envelope hit the floor. She still wasn’t moving. Sam’s heart dropped like a stone. Whatever was in that envelope was toxic.

She was looking down at the envelope… not at him.

He bent to pick it up.

 

 

 

Dean was quiet for most of the ride from Trujillo to Tegucigalpa. Cas was too. There was no point in small talk. There was an elephant in the car with them. No point in discussing it. No point in speculating. Just get to the city. See a doctor. Until they did, there simply was nothing else to say.

The Honduras Medical Center was easy to find. And, it was a shining beautiful building rising above the tiny structures that surrounded it. Modern architecture of cement and shining reflective glass standing out amidst a sea of squat cinder block buildings and ruddy, unhealthy trees.

It was grand against this homely backdrop, but it paled in comparison to even the smaller and less modern hospitals of America. When they walked in, it was clean and modern enough. But it was busy and the staff were far less stiff and professional then what they were used to seeing in North America.

They checked in and waited. And waited. When Dean finally disappeared behind a steel door, Cas suddenly felt foolish for letting him go back there and be seen alone.

As they had waited in the lobby together, the idea of accompanying Dean into the doctor’s office had seemed ridiculous. Now, alone in the waiting room, it felt ridiculous to not be with Dean.

He didn’t have to wait long. Dean emerged less than a half hour later. As they moved to the payment window, Dean rested his hand on Cas’ shoulder reassuringly. It wasn’t reassuring.

“What did they say?” Cas asked as they exited.

“He said it could just be an infection. Gave me a prescription for an antibiotic to take for ten days. Said if the swelling didn’t go down after that – I should come back because it could be cancer.”

Cas stopped walking.

 

 

 

Sam had been planning to propose. How ironic that he now found himself down on one knee in front of Jess with a ring in his pocket… as he picked up an envelope full of reasons for Jess to leave him.

Meg. All pity for her washed away like debris with a tsunami wave. Anger swelled in its place. He could’ve killed her if she’d been in the room.

Sam couldn’t look up at Jess. He looked at picture after picture in disbelief as he felt the life he’d envisioned with her slip away.

He’d honestly tried with her. Picked a good woman. Gave it all he had. But here she stood… another amazing woman… broken by Sam Winchester.

He didn’t even realize he’d begun to cry until he heard the plop of a tear landing on an obscene photo. He still didn’t have it in him to look up at her and see in her eyes what he’d done to her. But by some miracle, she was still in the room. Watching and waiting. As if there was anything he could say or do to justify this or ask her to get past it.

He reached out, feeling pathetic and small, and took hold of her ankle. He gripped his only connection to her tightly, watched tears fall beneath him like rain and forced out the only word he could-

“…Please…”

 

 

 

Cas bent at the waist and forced himself to breathe. In through the nose, out through the mouth. He braced his hands on his knees and just focused on not fainting.

“Cas.”

_Give me a minute._

“Cas, man, c’mon.”

“Give me a minute.”

Dean waited, without a word. When Cas was able to stand up-right he looked Dean in the eye. Waited.

“Cas, let’s not think the worst. Ten days. That’s less than two weeks before we find out that this was nothing… just some infection I picked up swimming or hiking… man we’re in the third world here! It’s nothing!”

Cas gave an unconvinced nod and turned to walk to the car. Dean got in the driver’s seat, started the car and turned on the air. Then he turned to watch Cas typing into his phone, likely looking up the location of a pharmacy at which to fill Deans prescription.

“Make a right out of the lot,” he told Dean.

“Left here,” said Cas at the next intersection. The tension in the car could be cut with a knife.

“Take this ramp west.”

“CA6?”

“Yes.”

“What’s my exit?” asked Dean as he merged into traffic.

“CA5”

“For a pharmacy?” Asked Dean.

“No.” replied Cas calmly, “The airport. We’re going home.”

“Cas, man, what are you thinking?” he asked, pulling his foot off the accelerator.

“I’m thinking we need to be in America. You need to be at UCSF. You know… a place where they actually check your blood for bacteria before prescribing an antibiotic. A place where they don’t use the words maybe or probably.”

“Cas. We can’t just leave…”

“The fuck we can’t,” said Cas firmly. No one will even miss us til the day after tomorrow. That gives us plenty of time to fly in, get you seen and call Roberto and Sunni to let them know when we’ll be back.” Cas’ voice softened a little, “Dean. I’m not taking any chances on you, ok?”

Dean accelerated again, following Cas’ instructions and exiting onto CA5. He was glad he was driving. It gave him an excuse not to look at Cas. He kept eyes on the road and his mouth shut.

When they parked at the airport, they walked through the door side by side, but they didn’t look at each other.

“Dean,” said Cas in the husky voice that Dean usually loved, “Please wait for me in the bar.”

Dean gave a nod and stepped away from Cas in relief. He walked the twenty paces to the bar, slid up to it and ordered a whisky. The good stuff. A double.

The bartender filled his order and watched Dean toss it back.

“Well,” Dean barked, “What’re you waitin’ for? Keep em’ comin.”

 

Cas felt immediate relief when Dean stepped away from him. He headed toward the ticketing counter. The world had just fallen apart so fast. He longed for the ability to take a second and catch up. To make for the bathroom and lock himself in a stall and cry. _Later_ he told himself. Instead he leaned over the counter and inquired if there were any seats on a flight to America today.

As he waited, his mind tugged back to the first time he’d met Dean at the annual Perkins Dinner. He’d seen him at the bar next to his brother. He’d hated everything he knew about Dean then. But he’d wanted him anyway.

Later he’d seen him in the washroom… and wanted him.

Later still, he’d stood out front at the valet and watched Dean slide into that sleek black car… and wanted him.

He’d been pulled to Dean from the very first time their eyes met. From the very first look. The more he got to know him, the worse it had gotten.

Cas had fallen hard and fast for Dean. So much so, that he’d worried about his own ability to recover if Dean left him. He’d pulled out all the stops to try and avoid ever having to recover from losing this man.

His mind had probably focused in on that fear of losing Dean because of his intuition. Because on some level he’d always known that he would. Intuition is a funny thing.

Belatedly, Cas realized that his heart had tried to warn him from the beginning… don’t fall… you will lose him.  But in the end, fighting it had proven pointless. Loving Dean was inevitable.

His heart, soul, intuition – what the fuck ever it was - something deep inside had been guarding him against the loss of Dean from the very start, he knew that now. Because it would kill him.

Losing Dean would kill him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank's to everyone who has kept reading. Book three is underway and I hope to start posting next week. Below are the credits for the music mentioned in the story. Please leave feedback... I love to know what people are thinking.
> 
> Soundtrack:  
> Free Fallin' - Tom Petty  
> Look Out Sunshine! - The Fratellis  
> Baby Doll - The Fratellis  
> It Won't Be Long - The Beatles  
> All My Loving - The Beatles  
> Howlin' For You - The Black Keys  
> Dream Weaver - Gary Wright  
> Piece of My Heart - Janis Joplin  
> Mercedes Benz - Janis Joplin  
> Hurt - Johnny Cash (Originally Nine Inch Nails?)  
> I Walk The Line - Johnny Cash  
> Don't Think Twice It's Alright - Bob Dylan  
> Everybody Knows You Cried Last Night - The Fratellis  
> Lick It Up - KISS  
> Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys  
> Baby I'm A Want You - Bread  
> Angel Eyes - The Jeff Healey Band  
> Midnight Rider - The Allman Brothers  
> Three Little Birds - Bob Marley  
> Magnet and Steel - Walter Egan  
>   
> Mentioned Album - Rubber Factory by The Black Keys (Excellent music for fucking!)


End file.
